Jack of Jades





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Published on Dec 11, 2011

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Metal Gear four, I scored Raiden
Sword slashin' like it's Ninja Gaiden
I'll play ball in your court,
like I'm in Judy's, better ABORT ABORT
Dudes be selling trees like Santa Claus
I ain't talking pine, just breakin' laws
But the rules are meant to be broken
Revised faster than a kid spending Chuck E Cheese tokens
My default name is John Smith, ma'am
And trust me, I am this charming man, Sam

Don't worry, swim downstream like a trout
to the tunnel with a light that never goes out
I eat naked ladies as if I was Jaws
Purring louder than a kitten with little paws
Time to go, put the game on pause
You're making less sense than an ink blot
Rorschach never thought he'd get caught
Welcome to Hell, does that name ring a bell?
You're just a dog, and I'm Pavlov
Drool over me while I stab your love

I'll make your soul become a silhouette
Someone I used to know is my best bet
Deliver your body to the postal service
Never find your mind, so on the coast I'll burn this
Girls call me "the spy who shagged me"
Only before I dragged their bodies out to sea
It better be, the best thing they ever had
before I go hulk and get real mad
You think my music is angry?
Maybe, but only when people don't pay me

Are you scared yet?
Are you scared yet?
Leash you up, fucking pet
Swine swine, you're all mine
Are you dead yet?
Are you dead yet?

I am the jack of jades
Common ass name with roller blades
Look it up, the dictionary definition
Better than Samurais on stealthy missions
I'm more patient than a grandpa fishing
I'll wait forever until you're done snitching
I'm in a Star Wars universe attracting faces
but I'm looking for love in Alderaan places
Putting people out of business like Wal-Mart
without the kids on medicaid asking for sweet tarts
All the tax payers pay me $1.5 bil
and my pockets are getting bigger and bigger still
It's just the reverse of Aesop Rock
with the DOW growing and growing with my stock
American stereotype, you took the escalator
In Hell, I get out with the elevator
Trying to hang out with masturbators
They Gregg out like "I get out later!"
I never said I'd fight fair
I said that I'd fight back
That's why I got the boyz in Dynamite Hack
Shut your face, your shit's whack
All it takes is one and CRACK
Open your mind before your mouth
Before shit starts going south
My mouth is a fucking grenade
I teach all the kids on MTV MADE

I'll make people care about my existence
Have people asking me for my business
But in the meantime,
it's time to rhyme
about all this crime
that I never did commit
I just act fake to spit
My life is just a bit
Not even enough to make a byte
let alone a bite to eat
I named my bitch Terra
Mother nature don't care a
lot because life sucks then you die
You're on your last breath so sigh
Exhale before the Prodigy comes in
Been smacking my bitch since '97

Hide your kids and hide your wife
If you don't want 25 to life
How can he be watching above us
With all these people slaughtered by Columbus?
People lie through their teeth,
even for a brief second like a thief
I'm going to keep my belief
in that there's nothing at all
My death will be forever stalled
The squall above will rain down nasty
like a bitch being pregnant is a travesty

Your eyes rolled up,
like you were tired or something
or you're getting tired of something
Maybe it's time I got dumped
It's hard when you haven't been thunking
correctly since the first grade
Should've changed classes like Dade.
Making the same mistakes
gonna end up like Offspring's No Brakes
The stakes are higher in this era
in that senora esta soltera
I'll bite you like venom
Spiderman covered in denim
Star Fox out of the frying pan
and I do whatever a spider can

I see that you're trying to abbreviate
the quarrel I'm trying to mediate
I'm gonna put you to sleep, you need it
In a coma for days, slept on Tempurpedic
Sick and tired of being criticized
By people who create a web of lies
like spiders with two legs
both on the ground to beg
waiting to get fucked in some orfices
to tear them down like horcruxes
Become the girl after they drove back to the bar
no rock, no head, to throw back at the car
but, this is my delay
I'll make you Australian, hey
Stop, now say, shit gets old
day by day, Comic Sans in bold
SOLD to the highest bidder
like puppies to a kitty dinner
Are you a sinner or a saint?
Stand on two feet or faint?

Live on your feet or die trying
My hat says it all, try dying
I'll be on point from here on out
like a period for a pig's snout
She shot me down, bang bang
We're opposites, ying yang
I hope you know your beauty fades
it'll be another, Jack of Jades

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