 The House of Squib presents Academy Award. Tonight, Charles Coburn and Virginia Mayo in the Devil and Miss Jones. Every week Squib brings you Hollywood's finest. The great picture plays, the great actors and actresses, techniques and skills chosen from the honor roll of those who have won or been nominated for, the famous Golden Oscar of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. For generations, The House of Squib has been known for the high quality and unfailing dependability of its products. Each the result of a never-ending quest for perfection. Today, the great family of Squib products reflects the tremendous advance of science in its contribution to human health and well-being. The name Squib stands for progress through research. Squib is a name you can trust. Tonight Squib brings you a laugh-provoking comedy, The Devil and Miss Jones. The picture which was nominated in 1941 for two Academy Awards. In our cast tonight, you will hear Charles Coburn playing the role he created on the screen for The Devil and Miss Jones. Co-starring is Virginia Mayo as Miss Jones. Mr. Coburn has twice been nominated as Best Supporting Actor of the Year and in 1943 won the coveted Academy Award. This is the story of a horrible old capitalist who was supposed to be a devil but really turned out to be a pretty good egg. And of a dame who was supposed to be symbolic of the common man but who really turned out to be pretty human too. All in all, you can call it a merry tale in which it has proved that heaven always protects the working girl. Good morning, JP. How are you, JP? Good morning, JP. Good morning. I see by the papers that I have been hanged in effigy in front of that department store at 38th Street. Some desperate malcontents must have done it. I thought I sold everything below 38th Street three years ago. We kept it, JP, because the store was exactly on 38th Street. This dummy doesn't look like me. Maybe it's supposed to be one of you. Which one? There's a sign on the dummy with your name on it. Have this picture enlarged and everybody even watching it fired. An excellent suggestion, JP. Peg, pardon, sir. Your lunch. Will you have the crackers whole or shall I crumble them in the milk, sir? Crumble them, you idiot. We're rounding up the troublemakers. We have a detective working on it. Where is this detective? In the next room, JP. That's all, gentlemen. Good day. Yes, sir. Are you the detective? Yes, sir. I'm Higgins, Thomas Higgins. What progress have you made, Higgins? Oh, I've gotten a job in the store. Nobody knows I'm a detective except the personnel head, not even the general manager. I see. I'm a salesman in the children's shoe department. That's the hotbed, the whole fifth floor. When do you propose to round up these troublemakers? Well, Mr. Merrick, it'll take time. I've got to worm my way in. About three weeks. Three weeks? Why not three days? Well, sir, first I've got to go down to Philly. My wife's having a baby. I see. Well, Higgins, you should be with your wife. Yes, I'll get someone else for this assignment. Oh, I'll keep your card if you don't mind. Gee, thank you, sir. You're very kind. That's all right, Higgins. That's all. More milk, sir? Or anything? Don't say anything. Anything means crackers. Come here, George. Yes, Mr. Merrick. George, I'm going to delve into conditions. I'm going down to that store of mine, mix with the employees, let them talk to me, and I'll play with them like a cat with a mouse. Oh, my, Mr. Merrick. Not Mr. Merrick, George. For a while, my name is going to be Higgins. Thomas Higgins. Yes, Thomas Higgins. There you are, madam. Thank you. And what can I do for you, sir? Oh, I'm working here. I'm a new salesman. Oh, you're Higgins. Uh-huh. You mean Higgins, don't you? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. And Mr. Higgins, in the intelligence test you took this morning, your rating was 66. That's one point over the lowest passing grade. Perhaps there was some mistake. We don't make mistakes, Higgins. Neely's is never wrong. This is the lowest intelligence rating in my department. I hope you have other qualities to compensate for it. For your own sake. And Miss Jones, don't clean against my desk, Higgins. Yes, Mr. Hooper. And Miss Jones, I'm assigning Higgins to slippers. Show him his juices. Welcome to the shoe department, Mr. Higgins. You come right with me. Now, this is your counter. Bedroom, lounging, and house slippers. It's really the best job, Mr. Higgins. No bending down for try-ons. He doesn't think I'm good enough to sell shoes, is that it? Oh, don't be silly. It's just the same. You have to be clever selling slippers than shoes. How could he tell I'm not as good a salesman as the next one? Oh, it's just your vanity that's hurt. You can sell shoes when you're relieved for lunch. And you show him then what a good salesman you are. Your lunch hour is from 12 to 1. That's in 30 minutes. I'm not going to eat lunch. You're not? I'll stay right here selling slippers. And I'll make a good impression. Mr. Higgins, why aren't you going to eat lunch? I'm not going to eat because I'm not hungry. I never have lunch anyway. You go to lunch at 12 sharp. Here, take this. I don't want your money. No argument. Well, you don't mind waiting on me, do you? Oh, what can I do for you, madam? Oh, excuse me, Mr. Higgins. Yes? I want you to meet Elizabeth Ellis. She will show you where the employee's restaurant is when your lunchtime comes. Thank you. Hello, Miss Ellis. I'll be back for you. Do I see the shoes I asked for, or don't I? Oh, yes. Yes, of course, madam. Of course. What kind of shoes do you wish? Button or strings? Are you sure you won't have anything? No, no, no. Thank you very much. I never eat lunch. It's nicer out here in the park than in the company lunch room, isn't it? Yeah, very nice. Don't you think it's terrible that the store won't let the people organize? I make these popovers myself. You're very rude not to try one. I wonder where they're holding a meeting tonight. Go ahead, eat it. What is it? Tuna fish popovers. Tuna fish popovers? Go ahead and bite it. It's my own invention. Oh, no, I couldn't. Really, I couldn't. Oh, please. If I ask you... Have you got a graham cracker? Oh, a grown man eating graham crackers. There's no nourishment in that. Now, you eat that popover. It won't bite you. Won't it, though? Tuna fish. Like it? I don't know yet. Is it good tuna fish? It costs 12 cents a can. 12 cents a can? Almost as good as you can buy. Almost as good? Eat it. Go on. Well, it tastes good. Thank you. Here, have another. No, no, thank you. Oh, one's not enough to feed an infant, not take it. How does a man exist without a woman looking after him? I could tell you're a single man. You are single, aren't you? Yes, yes, I am. What did you do before this? What kind of work? All kinds. You'll be surprised. Oh, oh, Mr. Hooper is coming. He is, is he? Wait until I put his name down in my little black book. Fire Hooper. Hello, Mr. Hooper. Good afternoon, Mr. Hooper. Oh, how do you do, Miss Ellis? Walked right by. Usually sits here for a few minutes. I hope he's not angry. Give me another popover. Oh, yes, Mr. Hooper. Oh, we must get back to the store. Lunchtime is over. All right, let's. Only one more flight, Mr. Higgins, then. We'll be there. I hope so. My feet hurt. I've had a hard day at the store today. Well, it's after hours in the store's clothes now. And you're on your own. Does your finger still hurt? A little. I can't understand how you've never been in an auto man before. I've never thought of it. I could sue them getting my finger caught like that. Higgins, tell me the truth. Was the manager right? Did you try and get that blueberry pie without putting in a nickel? I tell you I did put in a nickel, but I went to get coffee and somebody must have sneaked the pie out. It was their responsibility to give me another piece of pie, and I would have gotten it, too, if you hadn't interfered. Oh, here we are, in the door to the room. Well, what's this? Oh, this is the meeting, our meeting of store employees. Hello, baby. You're late. Who's this? Oh, Joe. This is Mr. Higgins. He started in the store today. Welcome, brother. Mr. Higgins, this is Joe O'Brien. He hung up the dummy of John P. Merrick. Yeah, made the front page of the Times, all right? Did you see it, Mr. Higgins? Yes, I saw it. Well, this is quite a pleasure, Mr. O'Brien. Likewise, I'm sure. Well, come on, folks. We're about set to get started with the meeting. Oh, come on, Higgins. Stop writing in your diary. Huh? Oh, yes, yes. There's plenty of time for that, eh? Oh, Mr. Higgins. Why, Elizabeth, you here, too? Well, of course. And I knew you'd join us. I could tell it the minute I saw you. Yes, yes, you could, of course. Couldn't you? Now, many of you were here for the first time. And you'd probably like to know more about us. Well, we're not professional agitators. I started in the nearly store six years ago as a packing boy and worked myself up to assistant section manager. Now, what we want is what... Excuse me, Joe. Huh? If I may, I'd like to show you a practical case of what we're fighting for. Why, sure. This is Miss Jones of Children's Shoes. This is Mr. Higgins, Tom Higgins. How old are you, Mr. Higgins? 50. Uh, 53. He's 53. That's not very old. He came to work this morning in children's shoes without the few cents in his pocket to buy his lunch. And do you know how he got his lunch? From another employee, sharing a few crusts she brought which were hardly enough for herself. Look at him. 53 years of age. And nothing to eat. And in a few more years, he'll be let out. White-haired and friendless with no one to turn to except charity. And the poor house. Mr. Higgins, please, take your seat. Oh, Mr. Higgins, you were so wonderful. Well, I didn't do anything. But you did. You were so brave standing up there. I heart-cried for you. What you need is someone to care for you. To keep you. To keep you from going to the poor house. Yes. Yes, I do. I never thought about it in just that way before, Mr. Elizabeth. But you were so right. You were so wonderfully right, my dear. To make every morning a beautiful morning to start each day really awake, remember it pays to use Scribdantle Cream whenever you want to feel your best. Look your best. Make the best impression. Try Scribdantle Cream tomorrow. Taste, feel, and see the refreshing difference. And now the House of Scribd presents part two of the Academy Award, starring Charles Coburn and Virginia Mayo in The Devil and Miss Jones. Isn't this a divinous picnic? Is there anywhere in the world as divine as Coney Island on Saturday afternoon? Well, maybe, Liz, but it's too crowded to go look for it. Higgsy. Are you having fun? Fun? Oh, yes, yes, indeed. Oh, I knew I'd forgotten something. There's the Hop Dog, Vanna. I'll get a sum and be right back. Well, I think I'll go for a swim. Nobody's going to be watching you, so don't show off and swim down to Montauk. See it, Frank, for the time and old Cody Island. I guess you love that young color, eh? Sort of. You know Mr. Higgins. I've never even thought of what it would be like not to see him anymore, and that's probably the test of it. Wait, if I thought I'd never see him again, I don't think I'd care if I lived or died. Hmm. I guess that must be love. Oh, it isn't so hard to find Higgins. Don't you find it when you look at Elizabeth? Well, I don't know, Miss Jones. You see, I've only been looking at her for a few days. But you must see something in her eyes. Well, I suppose I must. What could it be? Isn't it kind of soft like moonlight? Doesn't it bounce back at you and give you kind of a hot foot inside when you see her looking at you like that? Well, my dear, I think I'll go for a swim. What does one do? Well, one goes up to the bathhouse, rents a suit, and one dunks, doesn't one. I suppose one does, yes. I suppose one does. I beg your pardon, but I was wondering if I could find out whether my clothes are in your bathhouse. Did you take them off here? I don't exactly remember. Where's your locker key? That has our name on it. I don't seem to have a key. I've been walking about for hours. Does this look like the place? Well, I rented this suit. Can you tell me if it's yours? Uh, no, brother. That ain't ours. That's a pretty cheap suit. Not yours, eh? Well, thank you. Nah, ain't never seen you before. You don't belong in this bathhouse. Try down the line. Thank you. How many more bathhouses are there around here? Oh, a couple hundred maybe. I've got a big bargain for you, son. Huh? What's a gag? Hey, what you want? This is a cigar store, not a pawn shop. My watch. It's quite good. You can have it for a dollar. It's solid gold. Solid gold, huh? I'll take it back and bite it. Wait here. So you see, Sergeant, I find this character in a cigar store, and he's trying to sell his watch to the clerk. And when I question him, he... he said he wanted the money to call his chauffeur. And besides that, he says he got the watch from the governor. I thought that was suspicious. It's suspicious enough for me. Lock him up. We'll get you out. I'll say we will. Hey, what is all this? These are my friends, sir. Now, now we'll see. We'll see if you can lock up an innocent man. Now let's get this straight, Sergeant. I'm a free American citizen. And under the Constitution, I've got my rights. And I say to you... Hey, well, what if it did cost us our last ten bucks? We got you out of jail, didn't we? Yes, Joe. You talked him right out of it. Yeah. Well, I'm sleepy. I got sand in my sock. And the subway is so crowded. I'll be back, honey. We'll be home soon. Oh. Look at him. Higgins and Liz. Just like turtle dubs. Turtle dubs yourself. By the way, when did you ever see any turtle dubs? Well, it's just an expression. Put your arms around me. Stop worrying about turtles. Elizabeth? Yes, Tom. I want you to tell me something. What is it? Didn't Hooper ask you to this picnic today? Yes, he did. Tell me, why did you go with me instead? Well, you see, Mr. Hooper is the executive type. And you... Well, you're sort of helpless. You need someone to look after you. He's the executive type, and I'm helpless. Now don't be offended. People can't tell on themselves. But that's the type you are. For heaven's sake. I don't like the executive type. What you can see in him is beyond me. Well, he asked me to marry him during the clearance sale. Did you ever consider it? To be honest, I did. Well, why didn't you? Well, I didn't know whether I loved him. Maybe I'd be marrying him for his money. Has he got money? He makes $55 a week. But I don't see how a woman can marry a man with money. She'd always feel that maybe... maybe she'd married him not for what he was, but for what he had. Let's torn it. Oh, dear me, this is our station. Good night. Wake up, they're getting off. Say something. Huh? Oh, hey, hey, Higgins forgot something. Couldn't you say good night? What's the matter with you? Well, Higgins forgot a card. Fell out of his pocket. I'm in the scene. Oh, well, give it to me. I'll give it back to him in the morning. What is it anyway? Oh, to whom it may concern. Thomas Higgins is employed in a confidential capacity and is accountable only to me, Arthur Davies, head of personnel, Neely's department store. What's that? Oh, no. Not Higgins. Not a spy. A dirty spy. Our friend Higgins seems to be a little late this morning. Probably drinking last night. Oh, he only had three beers. Hey, you were with him yesterday? Yes. No, no, no, no. Mary and Joe, no, no. Just Tom and I. I mean, Mr. Higgins and I, we went to the beach. He asked me before you did, really. Yeah, that's perfectly all right. Ah, and who have we here? Good morning, Elizabeth. Good morning, Mr. Higgins. I mean, Tom. We were a little late this morning, Arthur. Oh, were you a late too? You are a little late this morning. Yes, I am. And why may I ask? Because I overslept. I was tired. Oh, that's a novel excuse. Well, it's the truth. I don't like the tone of your voice. And I don't like the tone of yours. Who do you think you're talking to? Another employee of the store. That's all. And a darn poor one at that. Do you know what's going to happen to you? You're going to be fired. I'm going to be fired. Now, let me tell you something. You're going to be fired. How do you like that, huh? Why, Higgins, and I thought you were a company spy. Me, a spy? Oh, my goodness. This is revolution. Never in all my years at Neely's... Oh, never, oh, gracious. The world is going crazy. Oh, look, that's my Joe. What's the matter? Now we'll see. All right, over here. Over here, gentlemen. Here's another dangerous character. Oh, company detective, they've got my Joe. Hey, what's going on here? Take this one, too. His name is Higgins. He's in on the plot. Come on, Higgins. Grab him, Louie. Come along quietly, Mr. Higgins. Come on, now, all of you. The general manager wants to see you. Take your hands off of me. Dippler, Higgins. The cul-sacs are putting the muscle on you. Where are you taking him? To the general manager's office. Is this how he makes people come to his office? Come on. I'll say they can't. Wait till I get that general manager. Shut up and come on. All right, Allison. So are you the general manager, eh? Now, let me tell you something, sir. I've observed firsthand how you discharge your responsibility. Can't you see that dealing with people the way you do is the reason for this civil war around here? I've worked with these people. They've got rights. You bumble-witted idiot. Oh, Tom, it's wonderful what you're doing and me thinking you were a spy. Well, you'll never be sorry. Let them fire you as long as I have a breath in my body. You'll never go hungry. Yeah, Mr. Allison. Take these people and throw them out in the street. And then you, Miss Clubber, make out discharge slips for everyone on the fifth floor. You can't do that to us. Oh, I can't, eh? No, you can't. And my name isn't... Yes. Don't argue with him, Higgsie. Don't argue with him. I'll say I won't argue with him. I'm going to fire him. I'm going to fire the whole pack of them. Oh, Higgsie, you're overdoing it. Fire us, huh? First, you come in here with a persecution complex. And now you've got delusions of grandeur. Throw him out. Oh, my. He thinks he's J.P. Merrick himself. Throw them all out. Just a minute, Mr. Allison. Wait, wait, wait. Stop. I'll show you who is J.P. Merrick. I'll show you. Oh, relax, Higgsie. It's easier when you hit the sidewalk. I said they couldn't, but they did. Where did you land, Higgsie? Oh, never mind. Yeah. Yeah, one of these days we're going and throwing them out. I'm going back and do that now. Thomas, you come right here this instant. Oh, me? Yes. Stop writing in that little black book. We're on our way to get married. After all, who are we to keep the mayor waiting? Mr. Higgins, where are you taking me? I'm taking my bride home. Oopsie-daisy. Oh, my goodness. I've got to carry you over the threshold. Why, you put me down this instant. Oh, what have you lost your mind? This isn't where you live. This is the mansion of the old monster himself, J.P. Merrick. Oh, I don't want to spend my honeymoon in jail. Oh, good evening, Mr. Merrick. Good evening, George. Dinner for two this evening, and by the way, George, this is Mrs. Merrick. Get some clean rice, George. One only gets married once. Merrick? Mr. Merrick? You're not Higgins? No, my dear. I'm J.P. Merrick in the flesh. Oh! Turn down a bed, George. Mrs. Merrick has fainted. It isn't that I mind you being J.P. himself, or me being Mrs. J.P. What about all our friends? Have you forgotten my little black book, darling? We're going down tomorrow and spend the first day of our happy honeymoon getting things straightened out at that store. And I mean straightened out. After all, my dear, they can't push people like us around, eh? Oh, no, Thomas. I mean J.P. Oh, I mean... Darling. Darling. Yes. The happy endings usually follow good beginnings. That's why starting the day right is so important. When you wake up refreshed by a good night's rest, ready for the exhilarating sting of a cool shower, you're glad to be alive. How wonderful it would be if you could recapture that feeling of early morning freshness whenever you felt like it. Well, you can. In the single act of brushing your teeth with squib dental cream. For squib dental cream tastes as fresh as an early Maytime morning with its frosty, minty flavor. Its brisk, freshening action. Under your brush, it leaves your mouth feeling fresh and young. And squib dental cream makes your mouth feel cleaner because it is cleaner. And best of all, you can have this fresh as the morning feeling whenever your mouth needs quick refreshment. Any hour in the 24. And always before you're going to meet people. For there's real charm protection in squib dental cream, try it tomorrow. Ask your druggist for squib dental cream. One of the great family of squib products. Taste, feel, and see the refreshing difference. Next Wednesday, another great picture. The House of Squib will present Academy Award starring Kerry Grant and the glamorous English star Anne Todd with Nigel Bruce in Suspicion. Today's performance of The Devil and Miss Jones was written for radio by Frank Wilson with an original musical score composed and conducted by Leigh Stevens, our producer-director as D. Engelbach. Charles Coburn is currently engaged as one of the stars in David O. Selznick's Technicolor production, Little Women. Miss Mayo appeared through the courtesy of Samuel Goldwyn and will next be seen in the Samuel Goldwyn production, The Best Years of Our Lives. This is Hugh Brundage bidding you goodnight until next Wednesday at the same time when you're invited to listen again to Academy Award presented by The House of Squib, a name you can trust. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. Thank you.