 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as The Great Gilder Sleeve. The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you partially transcribed by The Kraft Foods Company. And Kraft, you know, makes the famous pasteurized processed cheese food, Velveeta. Velveeta has a wonderful cheddar cheese flavor that's rich yet delightfully mild. It's delicious and it's the finest quality cheese food you can buy because it's made by Kraft. The name that for years has meant only the finest in cheese and cheese foods. Get a package or loaf of Velveeta tomorrow and enjoy the cheese food of top quality Velveeta made only by Kraft. Perhaps the three most important things in the life of The Great Gilder Sleeve are his fine little family, his respected position as water commissioner at Summerfield, and the high office of president of the Jolly Boys Club, which, by the way, is holding its annual election tonight. I can hardly wait for the Jolly Boys meeting this evening. Should I step down as president and pass the reins to other hands? No. It's fun to be reelected. And it's so popular these days. I, George, Mr. President, what you need is one of Phoebe's good cigars. Hello, Phoebe. Oh, Mr. Jolly Sleeve. What can I do for you this afternoon? Give me a good cigar. One of those El Presidentes. Oh, well. It's election night at the Jolly Boys Club, you know. Yes, I know. Under the circumstances, don't you want to take her on a handful of cigars, Mr. President? You why? Well, I imagine you want to be reelected. Phoebe, I don't want to have to buy my jokes. There is no question about me being reelected. You don't say. Of course I have asked myself, I shouldn't step down and let someone else have the honor. But you decided against that. Well, yes. I've been a very popular president. You, Chief Gates, Floyd, and the judge are all my friends. Yes. We've got a fine club, Phoebe. I think so. In the past year, we've had a lot of fun together. There's no reason why I shouldn't be reelected. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. Phoebe. The judge posed an interesting question this afternoon. You? He wanted to know what you've done as president. You and I got. You were a sneaky thing to bring up. Well, I couldn't answer your meeting. Well, what is there for the president to do, except lead the songs and clean up after the meetings? Well, the judge seemed to think that an organization should do something besides just make a lot of noise. You know, he did. He thinks the club should do something worthwhile. The old goat. Yeah, I can see through him. He just tried to get himself reelected. That can mean he bought a handful of cigars and he doesn't smoke. He's very cool. Give me a box of cigars, Phoebe. I'll make him smoke. Yeah, man. Phoebe, you're not interested in being president, are you? You know, I've got a good deal with cigars. Judge Hooker's scheme is, you know, it's essential to take more than cigars to win the selection. Oh, Marjorie Bronco. Oh, Mr. Schiller slave. Auntie, I just took a phone call for you. You did? Uh-huh, it was Judge Hooker. What did he want? Well, when you go to the Jolly Boys meeting, he wanted you to be sure to bring the gavel. You gavel happy lawyer. Well, I'll take it, but he isn't going to get his hands on it. Is something wrong between you and the judge, Mr. Gildersling? Nothing wrong with me, Bronco. I just don't like pushy people who always want to be at the head of things. Oh, I get it. This is the night the Jolly Boys elect a new president. Well, it's election night, all right. Are you getting worried, Auntie? Me? Not at all. I can see the judge coming up to the meeting with some trick idea to get himself elected. He always gets on these improvement kicks. He isn't the only one who can use his head. Oh? What did you have in mind, Mr. Gildersling? Well, I'll think of something to top the judge. Things to do now is have an early dinner and get down there. Birdie! Birdie, could we have dinner a little early? It's all ready. We're just waiting for Lee Royce. Oh, where is that boy? He hasn't come home from football practice. Oh, my goodness. Of course, if you want to hurry, we can start. No, we'll wait. Auntie wants to get to the Jolly Boys early, Birdie. There's an election. There is? Give Mr. Gildersling some brain food this evening, Birdie. He has to outsmart the judge. Bronco, you make it sound as though the judge and I are feuding. Well? Granted, there's a friendly rivalry for the presidency of the club. But there's no more than that. Remember the Jolly Boys motto? All for one and one for all. Let's eat, Birdie. Yes. I know you want to get out of that club where it's all for one and one for all. Who's on election night? I guess it's every man for himself. Yeah, okay. Yes, it's a Jolly Boys club. It's all for one and one for all. It's up on election night, and it's every man for himself. Yeah, all right, Birdie. You know when it's all for one and one for all. It's a Jolly Boys. Yes, Birdie. That's right on election night. Then it's every man for you. Yes, yes. Gee, I wish there was some way I could help you tonight, Auntie. Well, all I need is some constructive ideas the Jolly Boys will go for. Hi, everybody. Dinner ready? Lee Roy, dinner's been ready for some time. Put it on, Birdie. You better wash, Lee Roy. I showered at the gym. How can I get dirty in three blocks? Yeah, all right. Let's everybody sit down. Lee Roy, stop stiff-arming the chairs. Okay. Pass up there, buddy. Hot dishes. Mmm, smells good, Birdie. Yes. I got the part K. Put the hot biscuits by me, Birdie. I want to show Aunt how to pass a football. Don't you go kicking my hot biscuits around, Lee Roy. Lee Roy, let's forget football. And why were you so late this evening? Well, after scrimmage we had a meeting, Uncle. Our coach figured we could improve. Yeah, I'm doubted it. We get together for group criticism. Group criticism? Yeah, boy, is it keen. Tonight we worked on tackling. We take turns tackling, and the other guys on the team point out the mistakes. Well, I don't see any bruises, Lee Roy. Heck, no, I was busy pointing out mistakes. Oh, my goodness. Haze off, Uncle. I bet we don't lose a game. Like the coach says, no team is better than the individual players. Self-improvement, that's the key. Self-improvement, cooperation, teamwork. See, that sounds pretty good. You must have a smart coach, Lee Roy. I'm telling you, he's sharp. That's why he's keeping us late after practice. We watch the plays, and if we see a guy do something wrong, we tell him. Well, don't some of the players resent that, Lee Roy? Well, a coach says that any man who can't take criticism can get off the team. So if you can take criticism, you'll be a better man because of it. Hmm. Honest criticism. Self-improvement. Auntie, if Lee Roy may have an idea, you can use with the Jolly Boy. Yeah, I'm way ahead of you, my tree. Lee Roy, I have to get to the meeting. Pass the biscuits. You're short. Not through the air. You say, incumbent or incompetent? Ha ha ha ha ha. No, Floyd. I just couldn't commission. Say, it's a little cloudy up here. Yes, we're all smoking cigars. Consumers and agenda. Yeah, I know people. Well, shall we get this important meeting underway now that our tardy president is here? Judge, I'm not tardy. Well, obviously I wasn't. I've been here for an hour and a half. I brought my dinner. Hmm, who's after me all right? I'm very anxious to present the members with an idea I have for the retirement of the club. We all have ideas, Judge. At least I do. Ah, the heck with that unimportant stuff. Let's get around to piano and sing a song. Yes, let's sing something with a good bass. Ha ha ha. Well, as quartet leader and club president, I suggest we sing Hail to the Chief. Oh, why don't we sing something like Harvest Moon? Harvest Moon? Well, let's make up our minds, man. Yeah, let's sing and think about it later. There is a covering in your car. Let's try something new. The club has to be more progressive than in the past. Hey, here's a modern little number from 1910. By the light of the silvery moon. Ha ha ha. Well, it's not new, but it's good. Give us the chord point. Take it, gang. Why don't I want the silvery moon? Harvest Moon? Harvest Moon? Harvest Moon? Take the shining angel. Great, Chief. Let's sing another one. Yeah, no, no. Floyd, Floyd, fellas. This is a business meeting. There's an election tonight. Okay, let's elect the president and get back to singing. Yes, Joe. There, wrap your gavel. And before the nominations, I'd like to have the floor for about half an hour. Judge, there'll be no filibustering. But I will grab the gavel. Jolly Boys will now come to order. Thank you, Gilday. Fellow Jolly Boys, there has been a sore need for... Just a minute, Judge. Just a minute. Gilday, I asked for the floor first. No, you didn't. I asked myself for it on the way down tonight. Gilday. Hey, the commission's getting pretty sharp on his elementary procedure, ain't he? Thank you, Clark. Fellow members of the club, I've given a lot of thought lately to how we can become a better club. Group TV, what are you doing? Open up your coat. Yeah, please. Now then, as I was about to say, in order to justify its existence, a club must go forward. Always onward and upward. Here, here. Thank you. Now then, in order for any individual or organization to improve, they must first recognize their shortcomings and correct them. Sometimes it's hard for the individual to see his own fault. He has to be told about it. And we're all such good friends, we can tell each other. Hey, watch this. What are we going to tell each other? We'll tell each other our personal faults, Floyd. Frank, honest criticism can lead to only one thing. Self-improvement. And that means we improve the club. Commissioner, that's a very inspiring thought. Well, this is the kind of stuff you can expect from me next year if I'm president. Held it, I congratulate you. It sounds like a noble experiment. You're glad you agreed, Judge. Well, I know I ain't perfect. I'd appreciate it if some guy told me what's wrong with me. That's the right attitude, Floyd. Yeah, I don't have nothing to hide. Good. We now consider the club an open forum. Who wants to be the first to invite criticism? Well, I'll submit myself. Who would care to be the first to criticize? You speak up. Do you remember who we tried to improve the club? Floyd? Well, Commissioner, you're an all right guy. That's hardly a criticism, Floyd. Let's see if you can't think of something. Chief? Commissioner, all I can say is it's a privilege to be associated with a man of your caliber. Yeah, I'll tell you. TV, you've known me a long time. I'm in your store every day. What do you have to say about me? I think Yeldi Fleeves' customer is always right. Well, Judge, I know you came here tonight with a lot on your chest. Fire away. Yeldi, I have only one comment to make. I think that this evening you are displaying splendid leadership. Well, that's very sporting. You do admit that, Judge. But we're not accomplishing our purpose. We all have faults, however small. Boy, I can think of things to criticize about every one of you. Yeah, like what? You're a Floyd. You don't take life seriously. You're always clowning. You have a juvenile outlook. Who's a juvenile? I'm not a Floyd. Well, I'm leaving anybody here. Well, Floyd, since we're asking for criticism, at times you do seem to shirk responsibility. Oh, yeah, well, you're asking for it too. At times you're exactly what the commission called you behind your back. A nosy old goat. He does, eh? Yeldi? We're after honest criticism, Judge. Well, if we want to be perfectly honest, we couldn't mention plenty of things wrong with you, you big windbag. Windbag! Sheep, have I a windbag? No, Commissioner. Yeah, come on out with it, Chief. Let's not beat around the bush. Let's not be mealy-mouthed the way you usually are. Well, Mr. Gouldersleeve, if he put it that way, for a man who has precious little to say you, do like to hear yourself talk. I do not. Yes, he does. Blow hard it. What was that, Chief? A little answer on the grounds that it might tend to incriminate me. You hear just as bad as the judge. No, I am not. And what's so wrong with me, Mr. Peeve? Well, like I said, hooky, you're nosy. I don't have to stay here to be insulted. Nor do I. Good night, gentlemen. Good night to you, too. No, wait a minute. Fellows, let's come to order. This isn't improving the club. You ain't got a club. In another way, you could improve quite as a stop-saving ache. Well, there may not be a club, but I'm still president. Great Gouldersleeve will be back in just a minute. Every homemaker knows that planning three good meals a day can be quite a job, but planning for the unscheduled meals, all those snacks for family and unexpected guests can be even more difficult, can it? And that's what I'd like to help you with. I'd like to suggest that you make it a habit to keep a two-pound loaf of velvita in your refrigerator and see if that doesn't help the snack problem at your house. You can slice, crafts, golden pasteurized processed cheese food for hearty, hot or cold sandwiches, or you can cut velvita in cubes to go on snack trays with your favorite crispy crackers. However you serve it, velvita tastes delicious with a wonderful, rich yet mild cheddar cheese flavor. And snacks made with velvita are wholesome as well as delicious because velvita is good for you, rich in important food values from milk. And velvita snacks are perfect anytime because velvita is digestible as milk itself. So make velvita your handy helper for wholesome, good-eating snacks folks will really enjoy. Keep velvita in your refrigerator always and let the family help themselves get a loaf or package at your grocers tomorrow. Remember, velvita is made only by craft and you can depend on craft for quality. So be sure you get the cheese food of finest quality. Look for the yellow box with the blue letters that spell velvita. Well, last night the great Gildersleeve thought he had a fine platform on which to be re-elected president of the Jolly Boys Club. Main plank in his platform was self-improvement through group criticism. But when put to the test, the plank gave way and as you might suspect, the water commissioner has spent a miserable day at the office. Ah, you were booked. I have a lot on my mind, Leroy. Yeah? You know what I do when I feel low? What do you do, my boy? I have a big strawberry soda. Yes, yes. And just to show you what a pal I am when my uncle feels low, I'll have one with you. I appreciate your sacrifice, Leroy, but no soda. Oh, here's Mr. Peavey's drug store. Won't be any trouble. I'll be proud to do it for you. Leroy, I am no longer trading with Mr. Peavey. What's the matter? He cut off your credit? Well, yes. But I stopped trading there first. No kidding. What's the matter with you and Mr. Peavey? There's nothing to matter with me. Hey, let's cross the street and go by Floyd Munson's barber shop. Leroy, let's stay on our own side of the street. Well, he's one of your buddies. Now, and we're taking our barbering somewhere else. Well, why? I don't get it. Well... Look, here's Mr. Munson standing in the window. Why is he pulling down the shade? Because I know Floyd. He's watering his hair tonic. What? Well, he wouldn't do that. No, I guess not. So what's the matter, huh? You're off Mr. Peavey and you're off Mr. Munson. What's the matter with you and the Jolly Boys? Leroy, you may as well know. I'm off the Jolly Boys. We're not on speaking terms. I have nothing to do with it. You're kidding, huh? No, I am not. I'm through with them for good. Yeah, I'm much of a social contact anyway. If I want to improve myself, I want to read a book tonight. Sure. Let's see what I have here. A little dusty. Eat my... This book isn't too thick. Around the world in 80 days. Yeah, I started that once. I wonder what Bronco and Marjorie are doing. Hello, kiddies. Hi, Mr. Kildersley. Hello, Auntie. How did the Jolly Boys election turn out last night? The election? Oh, poor Auntie. He isn't a very jolly boy tonight. Oh, I thought you had a plan to get re-elected. Didn't it work? There's nothing wrong with the plan, Bronco. It's just that some people can't stand criticism. Everybody agreed it was a fine idea. But the minute we started pointing out each other's faults, everybody got mad at everybody else, and the meeting broke up. I can't understand it. That's too bad. Yeah, but it's probably all for the best. True friends wouldn't act that way. Real friends welcome suggestions for self-improvement. The way we do here in the Little Family. You're absolutely right, Auntie. Well, Mr. Kildersley, we're pretty open-minded around here. You bet. There are plenty of little things around here we could be touchy about if we wanted to. Like what, Auntie? Well, yeah, I take this morning when Bronco suggested that you didn't handle money well. Oh, well, the reason for that is I don't get enough practice. What? Yes, I recall you paid $6.95 for a hat, and Bronco said it was a mistake. But you didn't get upset. Well, it was a mistake. I shouldn't have bought such a cheap hat. I should have paid at least $15. $15 for a hat? Mr. Kildersley, if you ever get married, be sure you get a girl who knows the value of a dollar. Bronco Thompson. No, kiddies. How much did you pay for that horrible Hawaiian sports shirt? That was a bargain. A bargain? I sought on sale at Horgan Brothers for half what you paid. The trouble with you is you just don't know how to shop. Is that so? No, mind you, you're making a mistake telling your husband how to spend his money. His money, it's our money. Yeah, and we'd have a little more of it, too, Marge. If you knew how to stay within a budget. I'm glad you mentioned budget. You owe me $5 from last week. All right. Here's my wallet, take it, go on, take it off. Stand it like water. No, Bronco, I don't think that's quite the right attitude, either. Mr. Kildersley, are you going to criticize the way I handle my affairs, too? Oh, no, Bronco. That's good. Because if I pressed, I could think of a few mistakes the Water Commissioner makes. Never mind, I know what I just made. Bronco Thompson, I'll show you. I'm going to get the receipts I pay. Well, I'm going to get the bills I haven't paid. I'm going to get my hat and get out of here. It must be an easier way for people to improve themselves than being told how to do it. The Jolly Boys Club is broken up. House is in an uproar. It's early. There must be somewhere I can go tonight. Say, there's a light on in the Jolly Boys Club. You wonder if that's been burning since last night. I won't do any harm to run up and turn it off. I'm still president. Smells like old cigars. I love this place. Who was that? Somebody's here. Well, Floyd. Phoebe. Good evening, Mr. Kildersley. Hello, Mr. Kildersley. What are you fellas doing up here? No plans to go. Who was this? Well, Lapid told his wife about the meeting last night. Yeah, I pointed out them are her fault. She ran them out of the house. My goodness. Floyd, what about you? Me and Lovey ain't speaking either. Well, I guess it was all my fault. I'm sorry, fellas. Who's that coming up? Hello, fellas. Hi, Chief. What brings you up here, Chief? Well, I saw a light in the window and thought I ought to investigate. I'm Chief of Police, you know. Who? Now, who can that be? Good evening, gentlemen. Well, it's the judge. I was driving by and I saw you coming in, Chief, and I wondered what was going on. Is this a meeting? Well, everybody's here. I guess we could have a meeting. Why not? You can't go home anyway. Well, then why not have a meeting? So, we drifted apart last night, but now we're together again in the bonds of fellowship. All we have to do is elect our president. Hello, Jolly Boy. There's long been a sore need in our class. Wait a minute, Judge. Hold it. What? Commission, you're off that project, ain't you? You bet, Floyd. And I move we get back to the singing by re-electing the commission unanimously. All in favor say aye. Aye. Aye. What's going on with that? Well, in the interest of harmony, I withdraw my hat from me. Now, Judge, I'll vote for you. Well, thank you, Gilded. But under your leadership, I'm sure the Jolly Boys will go on to vigor and set everything. No, no, I mean, maybe we will return it. All in favor say aye. For the president. All in favor say aye. For the president. All in favor say aye. I guess I am. All in favor say aye. Great Gilded Sleeve will be with us again in just 30 seconds. Tell me, do you have Velveeta in your icebox right now? If you do, you probably know how delicious Kraft's pasteurized processed cheese food tastes and how nourishing it is too because you enjoy it in snacks and sandwiches. But tell me, do you cook with Velveeta? Velveeta melts smoothly and easily for a sauce you can use in a variety of economical, hearty, hot, main dishes. Try it tomorrow. Cook with Velveeta the cheese food of finest quality made only by Kraft. Music Yes, I'm home, my boy. Marjorie Bronco. You and the golly boys still battling? Hello, Anki. Hi, Mr. Gilded Sleeve. You and the golly boys still battling? Yes, Bronco. I've been a little concerned about you and Marjorie. You were sort of unhappy with each other when I left. Oh, that's all forgotten. You're too much in love to quarrel, aren't we, darling? Sure. I've got a wonderful wife. Isn't she sweet, Mr. Gilded Sleeve? You bet. Oh, Bronco's my big old sugar plum. Oh, brother. Laughter I married a doll, Mr. Gilded Sleeve. Hey, young star, I'm fighting again. This is sick of him. Here, I go to bed. Good night, folks. Played by Will McWatt of us. The show is written by John Elliott and Andy White in his partially transcribed. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Mary Lee Rod, Lillian Randolph, Dick Prenner, Arthur Q. Bryant, Ken Christie, Earl Ross and Dick McGrath. Musical composition by Jack Meakin. This is John Easton saying good night for the craft foods company, makers of those famous craft quality foods. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the great Gilded Sleeve. You know, it takes three things to make a sandwich. The bread, then meat or cheese or egg, whatever you like best in between. And the third thing is, mm, mm, a touch of real mustard. For when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. That is, if it's craft-prepared mustard. There are two kinds, you know, craft salad mustard, mild and delicately spiced, and craft mustard with snappy horseradish added. Have both on hand for different tastes, different uses. Remember, when you add just a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. That's craft-prepared mustard. Groucho Marx, you...