 to me We did it. Okay. This is a pretty special Momentous occasion for me not because I'm like one of those people who thinks my birthday is like the biggest celebration Everyone to stop what they're doing some the second coming of Christ And we should all honor this day because it's just so valuable because this is actually the first time that I am ever publicly celebrating or Acknowledging my birthday on my history of the internet Yeah, that's actually a fact right there and I've been on the internet for a minute I've been the internet for fucking 10 years. Oh my god I've been the internet since I was 24 years old my book laid came out in 2009 24 started on the internet hence here. We are 10 years later 34. Let's just get that out the way Let's just get out the way 34 And now my second book is coming out. Is that a thing? I'm not sure whatever is clever We're gonna get to that at the very end of the video I want to spend this video really talking about How I became comfortable with my age because I would truly say this is the first year that I've ever felt that way a lot of you guys Have said in the comment section recently like I had no idea the tree was that old like that's my grand design I never mentioned my age and as a matter of fact as I was saying like every year that I have a birthday I just like don't acknowledge it in hopes that nobody will ask the follow-up question of like How old are you now? I love being around young people because they look for any excuse to bring up age talk about their age Slide in their age. Where is it? I'm just like I would honestly rather divulge my credit card information Including the passcode at the back than tell you how old I am that changes today obviously because now I want the world to know I'm 34 and I'm okay with it. So I'm gonna share with you guys three Methods or three things that allowed me to find peace with my age number one Charlemagne the god said this age is a blessing and I kind of thought about that and I was like I guess Yes, because the only other alternative to getting older is dying We look at age so negatively in this society and yet they have accomplished something that Younger people haven't accomplished which is they've successfully survived for that amount of years second This is a really big one for me probably Two years ago, maybe considerably last year. I released the word young I'd like caught it and I put that fish back into the ocean. I said go live your life without me It's okay. I don't we don't have to be together. I'm not young anymore and that's okay I think part of the stress of getting older is when you're really holding on to that word and you can feel it Slipping away each year and then you're also uncomfortable every time someone uses the word young you're like do I qualify they talking about me Should I put myself up to make sure I raise my hand and now I'm just very comfortable to sit back and then be like young young young Not young and I'm actually really proud of that. I think that here's the difference between young and not young I'm not all must saying that I'm just saying I'm not young When you're young you're just figuring things out. You're learning you need more grace more empathy more understanding You need more help and when you're not young It is your responsibility to help the young Obviously as we get older when we're babies we get all the help nurturing care and etc We start to lose that little by little and then eventually the role swap where you're no longer the person on the receiving And you know on the giving end and that's where I'm at in my career That's where I'm at in life in general It is really more about supporting helping guiding Nurturing and being a part of the youth and they're upbringing I mean even my career in general is truly about helping younger people than me create really healthy intimate connections Have awesome sex my earrings about to fall off. I can feel it Nope, it's fine and to be honest. I kind of take issue when I see older people or not young people desperately like Just clawing for dear life to the young title like when the 10-year challenge thing happened I know a bunch of people obviously in my own age bracket a little bit older and just see all of them post these Ridiculous photos of them like before I looked okay And now I'm shinier and better and more attractive and less wrinkly with time Let's not try to pretend that we can compete with the 16 year olds or 26 year olds for that matter Let them have their time and space let them have their youth and all the joy that comes with it They get to have smooth skin and no wrinkles. You get to have credit You can't have everything and maybe you're J Lo and you can But those are few and far between for the rest of us We got to let it go let them play and have that space and let's support them And let's not make them feel like we're in competition with them because we're not and we shouldn't be and the Final thing that has helped me to become comfortable with my age Honestly you guys is accomplishment when I was 30. I told people I was 28. I Was 30 years old living in a studio apartment barely making rent. I didn't have a solid career I still hadn't completed school yet. I didn't have an official job title to my name I had really nothing to my name. I was like a floater in this country. I wasn't completely solid yet I mean I wasn't married, of course didn't have kids didn't own a house didn't own anything So when people hear the word 30 they assign certain Accomplishments expectations assets and I had none of it and that just really deeply embarrassed me. And so I didn't want I Didn't want when I said my age for someone to like have that question mark in their eyes of like well Where are your kids? So I just it was more comfortable for me to lie. And so now that I Feel like a fully formed person. I feel like I'm in my purpose. I'm proud of who I am I'm proud of who I chose to partner myself with and who I chose as a life partner I'm chat proud of where I live like so all of those things those accomplishments that I made when someone asks me how old I am I say 34 and then I feel like I can back that up with what I've accomplished in this planet mind you It's not like this is the thing too. I recognize at a certain age things switch from being like wow You did that too. Okay. You did that. I'm in the okay. You did that bracket. You know, it's not surprising By any means of the fact that I've been in this planet for 34 years and I've come this far I actually take great pride in that too because I am not a Supernova story. I am slow and I've told this story several times before that I view myself as the person who's walking up the mountain There's people who take the ski lift up the mountain There's people who dirt bike up the mountain. I'm the person who's walking and so for a lot of you who like kind of Dip in and out of my life in the past 10 years You might be like, oh like that's Shambhudi and then it could cool then five years past You're gonna look at me again and be like, oh, yeah, that makes sense now. She's there Like she's walked that far this space of time. You're not like How did she get there? That's my star. She was there like you're just I'm not I'm slow I'm not an overnight success story I'm not gonna be a young anything and like that's okay I think that's an inspiring part of the story for I hope my viewers Someone recently said to me who was 26 years old They're like I look at you and I just think to myself. How will I ever get there? And I'm like, let's put some let's just add some perspective to this. I am eight years older than you Eight years old 26 year old I am eight years older than you you have eight more years to go back to school if you want to To start learning about intimate connections and how to form better versions of those to start dedicating yourself to your passion To let the world know what you do and what you do well and to start collecting a following and or a list of clients How you have eight more years To really put yourself on the track that you want to be before you have to worry about comparing yourself to me And when you turn 34 and I am then 42 You'll be like, oh look she's there now that makes sense because last time I saw her She was 34 and she was there and now she is there. That's it's been eight years. So that that's logical so yeah, that is how we've come to feel okay with the age that we're at and Now as a part of the video I try and find a smooth transition to talking about my book and We just we couldn't do it. That's okay. We're just gonna keep it rolling. I need a favor from you guys I truly truly do so my birthday is tomorrow. I'm turning 34 years old That's just a recap if you're thinking to yourself, you notice shampoo the character. She's been all right to me She's given me a lot of knowledge. I've seen her grown throughout the years I feel very close and connected with her. It's her birthday. I want to do something nice for her first and foremost Am I gonna type happy break in the comment section? Yes, that's appreciated. I value you I read the comments So thank you, but then if you're like, I kind of want to do more than that because it's her birthday I want to go a little bit above and beyond please pre-order my book Please please please to be honest with you guys I have never pre-ordered anything in my life and I deeply regret that sentence now because I didn't understand What the purpose of pre-ordering is and that's why I say this is truly is a favor now mind you I am going to try to supplement this favor by giving you guys a bunch of free things when you do pre-order But nonetheless it genuinely is me asking you to do something for me because when you pre-order You signified the publishing company that this book is doing well, so it gets put in more stores I have an opportunity to go on a book tour potentially I have more of an opportunity to create press I around myself by saying in pre-order It's sold X amount of copies So if you know regardless you're gonna want to support this book because trust me if you watch this channel You will fucking love this book I'm not saying that on no cap shit cuz I I make a lot of content sometimes I'm not 100% thrilled at this is something that it is Incredible either space spend 22 bucks now or you spend it later But if you spend it now it does greatly help me and puts me in a position to accomplish a lot of other really great things This book so that is the favor that is the birthday gift that I'm going to ask I'm just putting it out there It's up to you what you do with it from here But that would deeply and truly mean a lot to me if you guys can go ahead and do that and like I said I've created different tiers So whether you order one book two books five books or ten books So just say you have a book club you can order ten or if you are in university and you are part of some type of chapter You guys can organize together like the prizes go all the way up to getting like a crave vibrating necklace You get access to podcasts you get discounts off of merchandise you get discounts off of a course That's gonna replicate what we did in the book You're going to get the intro as well as the teaser for the book the prologue and then plus a bunch of other like Behind-the-scenes stuff a workbook that helps you identify your own intimate needs. It's a lot of things So I'm really trying okay, and that's it. Happy birthday to me I am excited if again you don't live in LA and you want to celebrate my birthday with me You can pre-order the book. Thank you. Love you. Bye No one to talk to