 Radiant Church presents Radiant Stories, a collection of stories that showcase God's faithfulness to take our hopeless situations and craft them into beautiful testimonies of His power, provision, and love. This is part two of Kate and Ross's story on infertility and adoption. If you missed part one, listen to last week's episode to see where their story begins. So we got through Christmas and after, when we had the post-op, we had the option to schedule another round of IVF because we still, right now we still have embryos to use and we plan to use them someday. But I felt the Holy Spirit just say, like, stop. Like, don't continue right now. Like, no more IVF right now. I felt that very strong in my spirit. And in your body. And in my body. Yeah, I was exhausted. Like when you're on all of these hormones and medications, you don't feel like yourself. I wasn't able to work out after Christmas. I had signed us up for an adoption meeting and they happened like quarterly for this agency that we were interested in. And we both agreed like this is it like this is we were like unified in it. And so we officially like started the process in January. But a big component after that meeting, we realized in the meeting going into it, we thought the expenses were about $15,000 for everything. And I don't really know where we got that number. But then coming out of it, we realized scheduling of all the fees was actually around $24,000. And that for me, it basically said that's not going to work. Like we don't, we can't come up with that kind of money this year because we just drain their bank accounts last year doing five rounds of fertility treatments, which were expensive. And so my initial reaction was I just need to start tempering Kate's expectations like this isn't going to happen this year. Like we can't come up with that kind of money. And a common theme during us trying to have children was God will provide. And that was something that has always come more easily for me. And the ironic thing is as soon as we started doing the adoption, that was the last thing on my mind. The only thing was, there's no way I can come up with that money. There's no way that we can save that kind of money in such a short period of time. And because adoption is unknown, like there's not a definitive, you're going to get a kid on this date. It could be in a month, it could be in five years. So I don't know if we're going to be ready. So we should just hold off. So coming out of that meeting, we were totally on board. But it was now how are we going to prolong this so we can actually come up with the money? So then we we had tossed around the idea of maybe doing some sort of fundraiser. I'd like googled some ideas and how to fundraise. But in fairness to God, he's definitely provided for us in miraculous ways in the last five years. The crazy thing is like we have experienced. I mean, there are plenty of stories where God has literally given us money that came out of nowhere for no reason. But it was the exact amount that we needed to do something that we wanted to do that we felt like God was telling us to do. So it's not like this was a foreign concept to us. But as soon as the storm hit, we just abandoned. And it's just silly looking back on it. Totally. No, I agree. It's our humanness, I suppose. I feel like when you when you are in the storm when you're in the boat, you're like, we're all going to die here. Like, yeah, there's no way out. And Jesus is just napping under the deck. I'm just trying to bail out water and it's like more is coming in that I can pump out. And I don't think to just go tap on a shoulder. You want to wake up and calm the storm here. That's probably why in the Bible there's so much like remember, remember what the Lord has done. Remember how he showed up. Remember his goodness because we do we do need that's a good point. That's been a theme throughout totally. He's shown up in so many different ways. But in the moment where it's the hardest, that's the last thing you want to think about because you just need something to blame it on. You want something to feel angry towards and ultimately it's not God because he's shown himself very faithful in countless different ways. But that's he seems to be the one that's withholding this from us. So that's the only natural progression to say, well, he's the one that's withholding. So therefore we should be mad at him. Yeah, his delay does not mean denial. Like he there's purpose and everything of why things are the way they are and his timing in his ways. And it will never be able to understand it because we aren't God and praise God we're not. So our friends had encouraged us to believe God for the money basically is what they were charging us with. Don't just ask for help with it. Expect that you will be fully funded. Like you don't have to pay a cent. And that was even a foreign concept to me. Like when I've been on plenty of missions trips and it's I will put as much for it as I can and then I will get help with the rest. I've never considered like I should just expect God to show up and put down the whole amount. And so that was a very challenging practice for me, especially feeling like well, we should at least have some skin in the game. Now that we haven't already had plenty of skin in the game, but it was a significant challenge. Kate definitely encouraged me to get to that point mentally where I could just say I'm going to give up control on this specific thing and trust that in God's timing, he's going to do it. Even if we get a kid next week, he is big enough to give us that $24,000 this week. So that's kind of the mentality that we started taking into how do we fundraise? Like what does that even look like? How do we ask for money? Like who do we ask for money? Because where is this going to come from? It doesn't not that we don't have rich friends, but a lot of our friends are more rich in the spirit than in their pocket box, if you know what I'm saying. That is a hard thing to relinquish control on, especially being a numbers guy. It all comes down to can this happen without the money basically. I think part of it too, the whole two plus years leading up to that point had just been a continual attack on my ability to provide because I had not been able to provide Kate with the one thing that she desired so deeply. And not that I'm the sole giver of being able to have a child, but I couldn't console her when she was at her deepest. Like all those things that I just wanted to protect and provide for, I couldn't do that. So going into the season of now I need to provide this money that I know I can't. It was, I think maybe even best that it was a number that I knew I couldn't. So I would just feel like, well, I guess I said to give all of it up. The first miracle about the finances, we were trying to figure out how to ask and what that looked like. So we decided to write a letter to friends and family that we had been kind of going through this process with and just boldly ask. And be very vulnerable. And so that was a piece that originally I just felt convicted. If we're going to be asking, we are asking people to not just give but also to be in our story with us. And I didn't feel like we could do that effectively if we weren't bringing them fully into the story. So telling them if they didn't know already that we had done fertility treatments that we have been trying for over two years. And that was really hard for Kate originally because it's just a very painful but also almost shameful feeling that we're insufficient. We haven't been able to be successful in something that we are created by God to do. And I didn't want people to read it. My fear was like my own insecurity of like this just sounds like a plan B. And I told my friend that and she looked at me and she was like sometimes God's plan A is your plan B. And it just, I was like, oh my gosh, yeah. So like it's true. Thankfully God planted adoption in our hearts very early as Ross said when we were dating and kind of throughout our infertility journey. But the reality is a lot of people are called to adopt through infertility. And I feel like that's a beautiful thing and a beautiful way God like kind of orchestrates that he's the creator of life. And so I don't know, I just I had to let go of that and surrender that and not have that fear of what how people will read into it. Or even though it's probably more my thoughts and my fears versus what how others would read it. But so we wrote a letter. I sat down to write it because Kate was still on the fence. So I said, let me just write it and then you can read it and we can take out anything that you feel uncomfortable with and 30 minutes in. We got this text from a friend that said, hey, we're just in bed. We're thinking about you guys. We just want you to know that we're going to commit $5,000 to your adoption completely unsolicited. We didn't say anything. We had told them that we were planning on adopting, but it was out of the blue. It was not something where we had said, hey, if you guys know like we're going to adopt, would you guys be willing to give? Like we had not told anybody we're going to ask for money. And again, it was one of those God is so much more sovereign than my puny little brain could be. And he it was just that reminder I will provide. Yeah, if you do this work, if you're obedient to this call that I have put on your heart and we both felt it heavy on our hearts to do this. He will provide and he'll come through. So that was the first kind of nudge like, yeah, this is where we're supposed to be. This is what we're supposed to do and I will provide Ross wrote the letter. We sent it to our friends and family and then I had we decided to do a go fund me to raise the support and then I ended up posting it on Facebook as well on a Friday. So I sent the letters and then posted it and on the same day, I believe after we had gotten that $5,000 donation, we got a few just big donations of $1,000, $1,000 here, 500 here. Just the money like it had only been active for a few hours and we had already had close to 10,000 maybe more than that raised. Yeah, we hadn't even you hadn't even posted on Facebook yet and we had sent the letters out and we wanted family. But those people who are sending the letters to we wanted them to get it before we put anything on social media just because it's more personal to get something handwritten than it is to see it on Facebook. And so a friend had posted it on Facebook prior to everyone getting the letters because they had gotten theirs first and a couple other people saw it and just through I think three people who had seen it. Yeah. So before we even posted it, we had over $12,000 raised without even making it really public for me clearly. And so it was again one of those things where I was going into it calculating, you know, if everyone gave $100 or $150. This is how much we'd still have to raise. And this is where my mind is still like I'm going to have to bring a significant amount to the table and this is how long it's going to take to do that and my bonus this year. Well, maybe we'll get a little bit better. I mean, all these different things that are going through my mind, none of which are God is going to do the entire thing even after we got $5,000 while writing it. I mean, it's it's that like up and down. I'm totally in, but I'm not going to believe until it's done. You know, like I had to stick my fingers in his hands in order to truly believe like it's it's silly. Yeah. So yeah, within happened very fast. We kept getting donations and it was so cool because the whole time I was getting messages and comments and even people that are going through infertility right now or are wanting to adopt or just got so many random messages, even from people I haven't talked to in a long time. So of course, as God works, it always turns into a bigger story when you are vulnerable and you share your story and it's a beautiful thing. What can happen and and now who I can be praying for who I can encourage in that. So that was I think my favorite also one of my favorite parts of all. So we ended up raising support throughout the whole week. I was a mess. I was crying every day. Just each time I'd get a notification or whatever. I would just cry. I just remember feeling so loved. Like I finally I was like, you're not forgotten. Like this story isn't forgotten. This child is not forgotten. Like clearly there's something on this child's life. And so that was like there's so many beautiful moments during that whole week. So I posted it on a Friday and by the next Friday we were at small group and we had gotten one of the final donations to meet our goal. And so we got fully funded within a week for the adoption and actually in abundance. We ended up raising over $30,000. So even in God's goodness, like he gives abundantly, like he doesn't just fill your cup. He overflows it. And I feel like that's something I want people to hear and to believe. Like he he cares so deeply about like what you're passionate about and what he's passionate about. And he's not just a God that gives you like a drip like he gives so much and so abundantly. And so that was like the coolest part. I think of just receiving that gift. Yeah. So now we are fully funded and we have like we've had the money to pay for everything we found out today. We're fully approved. So we have like a chunk of money to pay actually today when we have the money for it and that feels awesome. And all the money will go towards our child or even like a future adoption that we don't know. But just so like expectant and hopeful for this child. Like he can do so much more than we can ever like think or imagine. And I think we both came to the realization of that through this process. He's just so so good and faithful. Yeah. I was just when you were talking about the the go fund me. I was tearing up a little bit. I remember seeing you guys post it. And then I remember checking back three days later. And I remember looking at my husband and being like, oh my gosh. Yeah. They're almost fully funded. Yeah. Plus. I mean, I just couldn't believe it. And even in that moment, just knowing a small bit of your guys' story, I was just wrecked. I mean, the Lord is just he's so good. And like you said, Kate, you know, you're maybe what you thought was your plan B was his plan A the whole time, which I feel like is an awesome summation of God's heart for this process and for adoption. Yeah. It's he loves that process. He loves adoption. You're you're building a family. And I think you've given some awesome advice for people who might be going through the same thing who might be in a desert, who might be in a storm or wherever they might be in the process. What do you think is the most significant thing you've learned about each other and how the Lord has worked through your marriage? Like how have you guys been brought closer through this process? About not a year ago. You know, it was about a year ago. Kind of the December, January time last year, Kate was definitely going through the probably the lowest, the lowest low. And for me, wanting to fix feeling like I needed to fix but having no power to do that was definitely the worst thing I've ever gone through. Way harder than all the days of getting a negative test. Because that is really hard and it really hurts. But to see my wife that I am called to protect and called to provide for see her struggle like that and not be able to do anything about it was devastating. And I guess I would encourage anybody who is going through this. That's part of the process. And that's horrible. And in talking to other people and hearing other people's testimony about it, it's the same thing. You can't provide the comfort that God provides. And kind of going back to that same teaching that we were listening to that summer before we started. In the desert, there are two things. One, He will give you enough shade to cover just your head. And that doesn't mean that He won't bless you with water eventually. But He will give you enough to get you through that day. He's not always going to give you enough to make it air conditioned 65 and a nice cool lemonade. Like the desert is hard and that's life. And there were times where that was all we had was just enough shade to cover our heads. And getting through those two months, I've never seen anybody grow or mature spiritually like I saw Kate. And I know that it's because she even in those times was willing to raise her hands and willing to force praise. Because that's what we're called to and that's what obedience looks like. And even when we didn't get the thing that we so desperately wanted. And even in the darkest day, she was still willing to say that God is good. And there were definitely days where that was not the first thing on our lips. And there were definitely days where that probably wasn't even said. Through each of those seasons coming back to say even in this God is good. Just seeing Kate's strength through this has been very humbling. It's definitely about the process. I mean right now we don't have a baby to show you, but His faithfulness and goodness is here. We've experienced it even without the thing that we want. And I think that's the point of trials and pain and whatever you're going through. He's molding you. He's shaping you into more of who He has you to be. And He's going to be glorified through that. It's about His glory. It's about His name to be honored and praised through this. And I feel like we've both been really impacted significantly. And learned about His Spirit and learned how to prophesy. And we've learned how to pray and be on our knees. And even just learning how to be together in it. And whether that means we go out in the woods and we're chopping wood because we're so mad. Or we're going on walks or you're helping your spouse get out of bed and make breakfast. And whatever you need to do just to stay unified and together. And to be with the Lord ultimately. That's what this is about. It's about living for Him even when you're struggling. Or even when you're in the waiting, whatever you're waiting for. Let God change you. Let God change your heart. And I feel like we're both finally there. We're so hopeful and expectant for a baby. But we're forever changed through this. And we can say now we're grateful. We're grateful that we had that time in the desert to mature in our faith. And to grow deeper in our marriage. And to rely on community. And to rely on prayer. Even if you're not married. Go get prayer. If you need prayer. Go ask for a friend. I need to go for a walk with you. Or talk this through. We need each other through this. That's what the body of Christ is for. And so that's something that I learned too. Just laying it down. Pressing into your pain. Laying it down at the cross. Not caring what everyone thinks. And just caring about how can I glorify God in this moment. Or how can I give more to him. Or what can I do to just honor you through this God. Even if it's just the littlest simple thing. And going through everything together. That was a big reason that I think that we've both gotten through it. To this point. In a healthy way. Is having each other's back. And knowing that the devil wants to separate us. The devil does not want unity. Unity is powerful. Especially early. Just relying on each other. And knowing that we're both going through this. Even though we may not have another couple to go through this with. Or we may not have a small group. That's all going through the same thing. Or whoever experienced the same thing. We have each other. And that was something that I think. God created a relationship. And a friendship between us. Prior to doing this. And prepared us. To effectively go through this together. And that's something that has been invaluable. To make it through. I just sincerely want to thank you guys. For coming in and sharing. About this. I really really really appreciate your vulnerability. And I know a lot of people will also. Really appreciate it. I mean. I feel like you talked about it a little bit. But there's power. In opening yourself up. And telling your story. So I am really thankful for both of you. I'm thankful to be your friend. Thankful to know your story. I will just. I mean I feel like anybody who hears this. Will be racing to partner with you. In prayer. And it might even be. You know. The kick in the pants they need. Or the conviction that they need. To partner with somebody else in prayer. Believing for something. For themselves. Or somebody else. This has been Radiant Stories. Click subscribe to get a brand new story. Deliver to you every Monday.