 resent competition. Alright, a normal thing. Let's say you're an established live streamer, you start your live stream, say, every weekday at 4pm. Right, you're going to resent, you know, people you know, or people you've helped know who start competing live stream. And so many about rabbis with an established synagogue, established congregation, established community are going to resent competition. So even when you become religious, right, you don't transcend the human condition. So they've been great rabbis who've not wanted to move to a certain institution or a certain community, because if they moved there, then they would no longer be number one. So they'd rather stay in a small community, where they're number one, then go to a bigger, more influential community that in many ways is much better suited for them. But then deal with the humiliation of being number two. So you don't get to transcend the human condition by becoming super religious. And so there's a great deal of competition for power and for resources, among Habbad rabbis, just like there is for, for anyone else. Had had so many thoughts there on what duvet was talking about. And Oh, well, this story about tunnels under 770, kind of Rorschach's test. And you see it coming out with Richard, he was very open to all sorts of super nefarious explanations. So I just see this as garden variety delusional activity by some fringe members of the Habbad movement. But for people who consistently have negative views about Jews, right, it's a Rorschach test, it just shows that they're going to immediately look for some dastardly, horrific, negative anti social reason that Jews are doing this and they're going to look at this not just as the misguided activity of a handful of Jews, but as representative of Jews as a whole. On the chat notes that Gonzalo Lyra coach Red Pill has died in a Ukrainian detention center, a strange and sad and yes, and he was delusional that he could live in Ukraine and trash the Ukrainian efforts to resist the Russian invasion. So people tend to create their own misery. I have been the biggest source of my own misery. My own insensitivity to other people, my own lack of recognition of how my words and how my behavior is affecting other people has led to my social exclusion has led to girlfriends breaking up with me has led to the loss of economic and social and romantic connections has led to the loss of jobs and income. Me just being incredibly self centered and not thinking about other people right has led to a life of frequent humiliation. All right. I have consistently been the number one source of my own misery. At age 57, I am still consistently the number one source for my own misery. I am particularly prone to exaggerating the level of interest that some attractive young woman has shown in me simply because she smiled at me and talk with me for half an hour an hour or two hours or hung out with me at this event or that event. And I have developed, you know, an exaggerated sense of my own romantic attraction from her towards me. I have consistently exaggerated my own importance and my own capabilities in all sorts of areas of life. And whenever I do that, I seem to consistently get humiliated. So I have suffered humiliation over the past few weeks, because I had an exaggerated sense of my own importance. So very much remain the number one cause of my own misery. And Gonzalo Lira was the number one cause of his own misery. Didn't he use the name Coach Redbell? Dover says delusional desperation based on the hope that they too can become great Jews of power and wealth through the magical power of the Rebbe. So for narcissists like myself, we will often feel this overwhelming pull to get close to successful people. Because we feel that if we can attach ourselves to someone successful that we will become successful ourselves that it will rub off on us that it will increase our status. So when I talk to very successful people, when I am socializing with people who move through life with grace and elegance and ease, often that has an intoxicating effect. And it's often not even rational or conscious. I just feel this, oh man, if I can just build connection with this person, it can transport me to a life of elegance and ease where I learned to emulate the elegance and ease that this person demonstrates consistently in his behavior with other people. I'm sure that was a great part of my obsession with Dennis Prager. I saw someone who consistently conducted himself with elegance and ease. And I thought, I want that. I want to walk through life as successfully as Dennis. I saw something that filled a hole in my soul. That's why people get gurus, right? They encounter something that simply meets a hole in their soul and from their emptiness and from their pain, that they get this idea of if only I could become friends with, join the social circle of this person, I would transport myself into a higher realm. I could live a better life. I could learn to move through life with the grace and elegance and ease and effectiveness of the great man. In this case, Dennis Prager. He teaches me the lesson not to wear earphones during our broadcast. But no, I don't. But my wife, my wife is converted to Judaism. So she is as Jewish as I am. From the perspective of Judaism, you convert as the same as a born Jew. But she comes from a Christian home. So I have all of her family over and we have a very big Christmas dinner, which I love. I even wear my kippah at the dinner because it's my way of both reminding everyone that this is the Jew in your family who is enjoying this with you and because it's a holy day. It's not my holy day, but it is a holy day. And it is their holy day. And so I, I, I open up with a prayer. And it's, it's a very beautiful time for, for my wife and her family. And especially for her family, but especially for my wife too, because she has all the people over. We have a lot of people over. Right. So stuff like that may mean nothing to you. But when I was 21, 22 at UCLA, my life had fallen apart due to chronic fatigue syndrome. I realized through the best of my efforts, my life was absolute misery. And I encounter someone who seems to demonstrate grace and ease and elegance and seems to be a righteous person and a successful person, and a person who's consistently doing good in the world and someone who lays this alluring quilt of meaning over the world. And I could follow him and enlist in his battle against evil. Right. That, that just took me over and, and consumed me and made absolute fool of me. I spent hundreds of dollars sending subscriptions to his newsletter, Ultimate Issues, who all sorts of friends of mine from UCLA who absolutely no interest whatsoever in Dennis Prager's newsletter. But I wasted hundreds of dollars, thousands of dollars, you know, buying Dennis Prager materials and sending them as wide and far as I could. It meant a great deal to me. When I was 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, that I was Dennis Prager's number one customer. All right. I got meaning in life out of buying more Dennis Prager materials than anybody else that I spent more money like I should have been spending my money now trying to regain my health and trying to rebuild my life. But no, I was getting my meaning, my purpose in life from such a fragile basis as being Dennis Prager's number one customer at the Dennis Prager store, buying his lectures for $10 each and sending out subscriptions to his newsletter for something like $25 a year. He was absurd, but is on such slender reads, many of us base our meaning. And I got meaning in life that when I would send a letter to Dennis Prager, he would write back to me. And I would, I would share his tapes with friends of mine who were inspired by the tapes. And they moved to Orthodox Judaism. And then they wrote Dennis Prager and says, Hey, there's this guy, look forward to share your tapes with me. And they changed my life. And Dennis Prager would write back anyone who's a friend of Luke Ford's is a friend of mine. And that just meant everything to me when my life had fallen apart when my life was now otherwise absolute misery and humiliation and failure. But Dennis Prager would write to people I know and say, Oh, anyone who's a friend of Luke Ford's is a friend of mine. But Dennis Prager would use me as an example in his public speeches about, you know, his desire to touch people with good values on university campuses. But I was this for Brent, a passionate Marxist who used to call into his show. And then eventually I said, Oh, Dennis, I realized I was wrong that I was looking for a substitute religion in Marxism. But now you've introduced me to Judaism. It's the real thing. And here's an authentic way that I can meet this authentic need that I have for transcendent connection. Thank you for changing my life. And wherever I'd go, I'd talk about how Dennis Prager changed my life and would get back to Dennis Prager and that would make him feel good. And I finally met Dennis Prager in person. He said, you know, I can, I can die happy, I can die at peace knowing that you will be there to carry on my work. Can you imagine someone who's, you know, six years into devastating case of chronic fatigue syndrome, whose life has absolutely fallen apart and Super Bowl weekend, January 1994, you know, Dennis Prager says, you know, I can die at peace. I can die happy knowing that you will carry on my work. I read it was incredibly intoxicating. That gave meaning and purpose to my life. When he said that weekend, if you move to Los Angeles, I might have worked you as like, Oh my God, I can work for my hero. And I thought by, you know, carrying on Dennis Prager's work that I could transform myself from being the rather self centered, inconsiderate, awkward, self serving, duplicitous, sex crazed, porn crazed, loser, and become a winner like Dennis Prager, where I could be elegant and at ease and charming and lead a blessed life and a successful life and a righteous life and be connected to God and to Torah and to wonderful people everywhere. And it just took took me over so much so that I would say the most ridiculous things. In 2010, I visited Loma Linda University. I was on a panel about Jews Christians and the seventh day Sabbath. And after the panel, I was walking with a friend around the Loma Linda University campus. And he kind of didn't understand like many people who've done me like why are you so obsessed with Dennis Prager. And this, mind you, is like 13 years after Dennis Prager and I have personally fallen out because in 1997, I started writing a blog about his daily radio shows started compiling an unauthorized biography of Dennis Prager online. And so basically, he stopped talking to me and all the friends that I had in common with Dennis Prager turned their backs on me. So all I lost all of my friends in Los Angeles. But still, I had this crazed idealistic conception of Dennis Prager, because he met the psychological need I had to feel some sort of connection to an elegant, graceful, righteous, godly way of life. And so people couldn't understand my obsession with Dennis Prager. And if are honest, I couldn't understand it either. I'd have all sorts of rationalizations. I like to talk about I've always had heroes and now having heroes isn't cool. Dennis Prager is a substitute father figure for me. I had kind of a limited and difficult relationship with my own father. And so Dennis Prager has met this vital need I have for a father figure. And he inspires me whether or not you know, he personally approves of my blogging or many things that I've said. And I had to move away from Dennis Prager starting in 1997, because I got online started blogging regularly July 3 1997. But I was primarily blogging about the pornography industry. And the first question I would consistently get from people, what does Dennis Prager think about what you're doing? And that was a horrible question. Because the the dark dirty truth was I would not have ended up in this dark part of life, if not for Dennis Prager exceed recommended these books by the late UCLA psychiatrist Dr. Robert Stoller on erotic excitement. And Dr. Robert Stoller wrote two books on the pornography industry, as I was sex crazed and porn crazed, I kind of took this as Dennis Prager's tacit endorsement of you know, writing a book on the porn industry because he recommended Robert Stoller, the works of Robert Stoller on erotic excitement. So I thought, wow, if Robert Stoller UCLA psychiatrist can write two books on the pornography industry, Luke Ford can write one and still be a mench. So be righteous Jews still still be a good guy. And so for months, I tried to massage this awkward situation. And I ran my response by Dennis and I said, Well, I tell them that you're some combination of amused and appalled by my choice of what I'm doing. And he said, Yeah, that that's fine. Because I didn't want to tarnish Dennis with my tawdry activities. And yet I kind of thought, Dennis, you sort of led me in this direction by endorsing the works of Robert Stoller. He wrote two books on the pornography industry. Why can't I write an, you know, academic elevated lofty tome on the pornography industry too. And I remember Dennis Prager once introduced me to the Mexican help who were serving us Sabbath lunch at at synagogue at Stephen S wise temple. And he would say, Oh, this, this is the most religious man in his profession. And he meant the pornography profession. And I would tease Dennis back and I say, I want to dedicate my next book to you because I was writing history of X 100 years of sex and film. And Dennis would go, Oh, no, no, I'm not worthy. Like wait until you write a biography of the Vilna Gaon and you know, dedicate that book to me. But the tension just became unbearable. Right. I couldn't praise Dennis Prager and value his teachings and simultaneously be developing a blog that was about the pornography industry. And so I couldn't live with the tension anymore. And so I thought, Okay, I need to write about something else aside from the pornography industry. Let me start a blog in addition to the pornography industry. Let me start a blog about Dennis Prager and Dennis Prager's assistant, who was a good friend of mine at the time. She said, if you do that, none of us will ever talk to you again. Dennis went talk to you again. I went talk to you again, or your friends in Los Angeles, none of them will talk to you again. So I was warned. I did it. I thought I was strong enough to handle it. But that social exclusion just absolutely killed me. It devastated me like everything. Everything that was holding my life together was ripped away. And how did I hold myself up? Well, one thing I did is I then became vulnerable to a fortune teller. I broken my wrist playing touch football. And so I've gotten surgery on my wrist, and I got a prescription for pain medication, which I never ended up taking. But as I was standing in line for my pain medication, this woman tapped me on the shoulder. And I'm so vulnerable. Now I've lost all my friends in Los Angeles. And she says, I'm getting a special feeling about you. Because I was vulnerable, right? I found Dennis Prager in the first place and made him this mythic substitute father figure for me. And now I've lost Dennis Prager and all the friends that I had in Los Angeles. Now this woman along comes along says she's getting a special feeling about me. Wow, I was so needy that I bought into that. And she turned out to be a gypsy fortune teller. So I kept going to her. And what was the basis that I went to her? This is this is a few months after I totally destroyed my very limited relationship with Dennis Prager. And I said, Oh, you know, I want to get my relationship, my friendship back with Dennis Prager. And so I'm spending hundreds of dollars, right, eventually about $900 that I could not afford because my credit cards were maxed out at this point at about 22,000 and credit card debt. And I spent $900 on this gypsy fortune teller to try to restore my relationship with Dennis Prager that I blew up for the sake of my own blogging to get away from the impossible tension that came with both venerating Dennis Prager and writing a blog about the pornography industry. And so the first time I go to this gypsy fortune teller, I drop about $50 on her. They were very smart. She started me off. Oh, you know, I'll read your fortune for $5. But then she had all these add-ons she ups sold me various add-ons to her fortune telling. And so I think I dropped $50 on her that first time and I walk home. And for the first and only time in my life, I came home and I found an email from Dennis Prager that was not a reply to an email I'd sent to him. So the only time in my life that I received an unsolicited email from Dennis Prager was after I dropped $50 on this gypsy fortune teller. And the email quoted something that I'd just written about two hours before about how I'd come home from the hospital after being held in overnight at the hospital after my wrist surgery. What was the reason I was held in overnight? Because I had a panic attack. Because I came out of surgery. I just felt so alone. Because I had walked to the hospital. Right? No one had taken me to the hospital. And no one was picking me up at the hospital. And I felt so alone. And I felt so broken. And I was so uncomfortable with the direction of my life. I felt like I was betraying everything good that I had ever stood for. I felt like I was just running in a self-destructive downward spiral that I was stuck in some negative trends in my life that I could not surmount. I felt absolutely alone. I'd lost all my friends. Los Angeles, I'd largely alienated myself from my family. My life was just going down, down, down, down, down, my life was going to hell. And so I had logged what a comfort it was to come out of surgery, have them finally release me the next day and get home and to be able to turn on Dennis Prager's radio show. So even though I clearly alienated myself from Dennis Prager, any normal person would look at what I was doing by my blogging about him against his wishes as the grossest betrayal. But here I blog what a comfort I find it is to go through surgery and come out of it, get home and to listen to Dennis Prager. And Dennis Prager quoted my blog post in his unsolicited email to me after I visited the Gypsy Fortune Teller. Then he wrote, I hope you remember that the next time, comma, for whatever reason, comma, you want to hurt me. So when I or anyone who's been close to Dennis Prager makes a criticism of him publicly, it's usually experienced by Dennis Prager as it's not that this person has a genuine disagreement with me. It's this person wants to hurt me. See, I was I was always much lower in status, right? I never had status comparable to Dennis Prager. And so I've also experienced this when you when you get a fan, right? A very size of my life. I've had, you know, this or that fan. And then you you hear these wonderful things from the fan. And then you reciprocate and you try to be helpful. But you know, eventually no one is purely a fan, right? Everyone who's quote unquote a fan will eventually be critical or, you know, completely come out and publicly, publicly critique you publicly challenge you, right? And then not doing it really out of betrayal. It's just that we always have competing values. And so there may be someone you admire, right? You might respect me for this or that. But then I come along and say something or do something which violates your your hero system, right? I may violate, you know, everything that you find true and good and beautiful and holy. And so in loyalty to your higher value system to your hero system, you will feel compelled after publicly praise me to publicly critique me. And then I will experience that as betrayal. Like how could how could this person I thought was my my fan? How could they deny me? So I never had any status, right? I just always had this mentor fan relationship. And Dennis has been very clear to say, you know, I was never friends with Luke Ford. He was never a student. This was his quote to the Jewish Journal in 2007 when they did a cover story on me. He said, I think at some point I may have had a positive influence on him, but now I don't know. So Dennis Prager has often been asked about Luke Ford, you know, how do you explain what he's saying and doing? And it's a great embarrassment to him. As I was a great embarrassment to my father and to my family, like my father was the preacher man. And then I became the king of porn by writing a gossipy website and blog about the pornography industry was just absolutely shaming for my father in particular and my stepmother as well. And so they'd constantly be asked to explain or justify how their younger son had so deviated from everything that they teach is true and good and beautiful and holy and godly. So I caused enormous distress to my parents, other parts of my family, cause enormous distress to my friends. I caused enormous distress and pain to inconvenience to Dennis Prager, like the poor guy. He didn't ask for this. He didn't ask to have some fan come into his life and then critique him publicly, repeatedly. It must feel to Dennis Prager and to any normal observer of us as I am exhibiting the basest in gratitude. Now, from my perspective, I've just been following the truth, whether during the times that I'm following Dennis Prager and praising Dennis Prager or critiquing and criticizing Dennis Prager, I experience it as I am following the truth. I am seeking what is true and beautiful and good and holy and godly, whether I'm praising or critiquing Dennis Prager. But that's not how it comes across. I remember I was dating this one woman in 1998, and she looked at something I'd written about Dennis Prager that was a critique. She burst into tears and she turned to me and she said, this is the person you admire more than anybody in the world. And yet you write this. It reminded me when I was converting to Judaism, a secular Jewish friend who I had lent Dennis Prager tapes and he'd become an Orthodox Jew in large part through through me and my influence and my story and my passion and the materials that I had shared with him. But he didn't like my scathing nature. All right. So I have a part of myself that is yearning to join yearning to join a group to join a court to join connect to build something with other people. However you want to understand it. That's one part of me wants to connect with others. And then I have another part of me that is a critiquer, an investigator. And so same with Kundalini yoga. I love Kundalini yoga, but I then investigated all the downsides to Kundalini yoga and blogged about the downsides. So too, when I was immersed in Judaism at the same time, I was filled with critiques of Judaism. And so my new friend said, why don't you go scare somebody else? You know, why don't you become a Muslim or a Buddhist because it strikes people as the basis and gratitude to have someone who converts to Judaism, converts to becoming a fan of Dennis Prager, who then critiques Judaism or Dennis Prager. So everybody I've known who's heard of my Dennis Prager story thinks that I have exhibited the basis and gratitude like virtually nobody thinks, oh, 40, he's just been pursuing the truth the whole time. And sometimes he thought that the truth lay with Dennis Prager. And then other times he thought the Dennis Prager was concealing or demeaning or diminishing the truth. And so the pursuit of truth is the admirable through line in 40 story. Right. Nobody seems to think that they all see me as just incredibly socially awkward and ungrateful and mad, bad and dangerous to know. All right. That's that's what people get when they hear about my Dennis Prager story like 40 he is mad, bad and dangerous to know. And I just see I'm a humble servant of the truth. I'm an intellectual jiggaloo. I'm constantly falling in love with new ideas and ultimately staying loyal to none. Whenever I run into Dennis Prager, he kind of has a bemused attitude towards me. And his difficult question is like, you know, 40, what are you into now? Like, what is your kick now? What is your new intellectual exuberance now? Because he knows that I'm just constantly changing. And my father knew that too. Like, whatever I'm excited about today, right, I'm going to be excited about something completely different in a few days, few weeks, few months. My therapist said something profound to me about a year in and I walked into therapy one day and I'd received these two very stern letters from Dennis Prager's attorneys. And I had published lengthy excerpts of Dennis Prager's essays on my blog and they. The lawyers warned me that I was at legal peril that I'd committed copyright infringement. And so I walked into therapy and I go, oh, I'm so mad at Dennis Prager. Like you can't go to like lawyers. All right. That's that's against Jewish law. You should always, you know, try to handle things. But in the Jewish community, you don't go to, you know, outside secular lawyers. And my therapist is like, you're mad at Dennis Prager. Shouldn't he be mad at you? Like you betrayed him. You have created embarrassment for him. Right. You have inconvenienced him. You're a nuisance to him. You're a pest to him. Like how on earth you get to a point where you're mad at Dennis Prager. And so we kind of go back and forth. Then eventually I'd been in therapy at this point for a year. And a lot of that time I'd been talking about my relationship with Dennis Prager. So I've given up on the gypsy because I got no more unsolicited emails from Dennis Prager. So after dropping $900 on the gypsy in the course of about three weeks, I give up on her. But then I spent thousands upon thousands of dollars talking to a psychotherapist two sessions a week in a large part about Dennis Prager, my lost friendship with Dennis Prager, losing all my friends in Los Angeles. Everyone thinks that I am base ungrateful that I've betrayed Dennis Prager, that I'm an internet terrorist, that I am mad bad and dangerous to know. But really, I'm just a humble servant of the truth. And after a year of my whining and crying and complaining and pulling my hair out of the loss of my friendship with Dennis Prager and everyone we had in common. What year did I have that panic attack? It was when I came out of surgery. So it's the only panic attack that I really recall in my life. It was something like April or early May of 1998. And it was when I was being wheeled out of surgery and I'd woken up. I just felt so vulnerable. I felt like if I fall, there's nothing I can do right now in my very foggy state coming out of surgery to save or protect myself. I feel like I have no friends. I feel alone in the world. Everyone who's known me has felt betrayed by me because of what I've written about Dennis Prager, well, they felt betrayed because on the one hand, I was embracing Judaism and on the other hand, I was simultaneously writing about the pornography industry. I had embarrassed and shame my parents. I had made my name stink and by converting to Judaism, all the people that I'd grown up with, they felt that I was telling them implicitly or explicitly that they were wrong. And so they had turned away from me. The people I've grown up with had turned away from me. My new friends and community that I'd built around Dennis Prager had turned away from me parts of my family. My parents had turned away from me. People hated a lot of the things that I was blogging. I was getting death threats. People would, you know, call up and talk about how they were going to murder me. They took such great exception to what I was writing. People would talk about how they were going to dedicate themselves to destroying me. They were going to drive me out of Los Angeles, whether it was Orthodox Jews or pornographers or Dennis Prager people. They all hated me. They all loathed me. They all wanted nothing to do with me. They all had so much contempt for me. I was used chewing gum on the bottom of their shoe. I was trash. It bothered them that they even had to think about me or see me or interact with me. How can someone of such low status of such low moral caliber? How can someone of such low level of achievement? How can someone who has led such a tawdry life? So how could someone who's so obviously psychologically unstable like how could how could this person beginning thousands of readers every day on his blog, on his internet website that it's disgusting? He's an internet terrorist. And so my therapist a year into this. So I'm paying thousands of dollars. And I'd say probably at a 10 percent of what I talked about in psychotherapy was related to this this loss of my Dennis Prager friends community. And she said, you want to know what I think? And I said, yes, as the first time she'd really given me her opinion. She said, Dennis Prager had such a profound effect on your life that you started this blog about Dennis Prager to try to affect his life, to try to show Dennis that you could affect him, too. You were kind of tired of the one way nature of your relationship with Dennis Prager is just him affecting you. You wanted to show Dennis that you could affect his life. And I said, wow. Hmm. Right. That makes. That makes sense. I was unconscious of that. But I was conscious. I was only pursuing truth. That's what I thought. But I immediately recognized the emotional truth of what my therapist said. Now, I didn't abandon writing about Dennis Prager. But I did let go of talking about Dennis Prager therapy. I just had no need to talk about Dennis Prager therapy essentially ever again, because my therapist had nailed my hidden unconscious emotional motivation. Now, just because I had this weird and uncool emotional motivation that was mixing up and perhaps contaminating what I was writing online, I recognize that from impure motives, you could still do good work. And so I believe that my writing on Dennis Prager, like my writing on many different topics, is a contribution. This is my gift to the world. This is this is me doing what I do best, right? We all like to do those things that we do well. And so I was able to accept and recognize the base uncool nature of my motivation and still take that and transform it and try to build something that was admirable. Right. Here's Richard Spencer and company for some for some kind of minor reason and this age they've integrated with something. I don't know, maybe it's chat, GPT or derivative or whatever. And yeah, it was so polite that thing is so much nicer than an actual human. See, that's the problem. People want, like, if imagine if you you're an incel or like a pathetic middle aged man like myself, like, wouldn't you almost want an AI girlfriend? I mean, it's let's go. I think it looks like I would almost answer it in the other way. I think it's very I think where we're going is it's not it's not like it's not going to be Armageddon like 1980 sci-fi movies. It's like cultural destruction and I think that's worse. Yeah, I'm not as I'm more optimistic, but it's a good discussion under itself. I did give my kid I have a six year old and I gave him a children's like Alexa think it's like it looks like a bird. And I went into his room for Christmas and I went into his room and he was having a conversation with it. OK, I don't think most people are yearning for an AI girlfriend. I think troubled people like Richard Spencer feel a yearning for an AI girlfriend and healthy people who enjoy normal healthy relations with others and build up a family of their own. Right. I don't think they're yearning that AI girlfriend. So there's there's a new mental illness I discovered a few years ago that that I have. It's called. Maladaptive daydreaming, right? That's an excessive amount of time daydreaming. And for me, I daydream about being particularly powerful. So I have dated embedded powerful women and they daydream about being helpless and powerless because in the real world, they're incredibly powerful. So they want to let go of that. In the real world, I am not powerful. All right. I am just another bozo on the bus. So in my fantasy life, I'm an incredibly powerful man. And I like living in the delusions of, you know, what a great mayor of Los Angeles, governor of California, editor of the Jewish Journal, I could be like think of what I could do with power because I feel frequently so powerless and diminished and unsuccessful in the real world. So I very tempted to spend an excessive amount of time daydreaming about what it's like to be powerful. And people like me who. Yearn for your admiration. People like me who yearn for your attention. People like me who have these narcissistic tendencies, right? We are so easy to manipulate, right? If I am not psychologically and spiritually healthy, where I recognize my own vulnerabilities and recognize that the path of indulging in these yearnings that the path ultimately ends in humiliation and destruction. But if I'm not healthy, then I'm incredibly easy to emulate. Right. I recently became intoxicated by the attention given to me by a pretty young woman. And I made an absolute fool of myself. I've actually ever estimated her level of interest in me. If you're living in reality and you're in a strong, healthy, psychological, spiritual state, you're not going to become delusional because some pretty young woman gives you some attention. But if you are consistently looking for ways to bliss out on some addiction, whether it's pornography, whether it's attention, whether it's deading, whether it's online spending, drugs, alcohol, masturbation, right? If you're consistently looking for ways to bliss out, right? You are going to consistently remove yourself from reality. You will be destroying the reputation you have with yourself and inevitably diminishing the reputation with having you have with other people. You're living in reality and you're not blissing out consistently on addictions so that your daydreams have become maladaptive. All right. Then you make better choices and then you feel better about yourself and other people feel better about you. You'll make better choices about where you invest. Right. People like me often make terrible investment choices because we want to live in a world of delusion where we become rich and powerful and so we're easy to turn into suckers. I came to Hollywood in 1994 and I got taken for thousands of dollars in overpriced acting classes and various scams because I wanted to believe that I was Hollywood star material. And so when these scammy operations, you know, would pedal something to me, we're casting a movie, we think you'd be great. And they even they even place announcements in variety about how Luke Ford is going to be starring in this his new movie. And you know, I would part with hundreds and even thousands of dollars for people who had enabled my delusions. Then think late 1995 or 1996 I snapped out of the delusion that I was Hollywood star material. And then nobody ever took advantage of me in this way because I wasn't looking to be taken advantage of. There were various times in my life, particularly around 1994 and again around 2007, early 2008, where I spent thousands of dollars on how to become a great entrepreneur and how I could make a lot of money online. And I spent thousands of dollars on information products and motivational speakers. And then early 2008, I just snapped out of it and never been taken in again. So people will successfully enroll you in lies and manipulation and deceit to the extent basically that you let them. But when you're living in reality, when you're honest about yourself, when you are cognizant of your own vulnerabilities, when you set yourself on a path of self honesty, right? Then when other people say something to you that does not make sense, right, you can immediately grok they're trying to manipulate you consciously or unconsciously and you don't get taken in by scams. All right. Right now I am a micro streamer. I am speaking to 32 people on YouTube. I'm speaking to zero people on kick. But I am speaking to 12 people on rumble. And in the end, when I turned this this live stream into an MP3 and a podcast, maybe a thousand people will listen to at least 10 minutes of this stream today. But I am a micro streamer. There are a few dozen people who have a pretty strong interest in what I have to say. If I develop an exaggerated sense of my own importance, of my own wisdom, of my own audience, of my own power and influence, if I get this idea that I'm some big deal, then I'm going to get humiliated. When you lose touch with reality, the result is inevitably humiliation. And I've been tasting a lot of that lately, because I've spent a lot of time in delusion by the way, back to Richard Spencer and company real Hamas situation on these spaces. It's becoming quite problematic. But back to the frame game, Mike Ben's issue. I'll sort of work backwards, I guess, from now till where it started. It is interesting when he came on to the scene as Mike Ben's. And of course, no one knew ever heard of this person. He's lying about his credentials. He was given this State Department title, you know, for the last two months of the Trump administration. And but he never worked there. He was working for Ben Carson and HUD. I mean, that's he was a speechwriter. But anyway, as he came on to Twitter and started becoming the censorship expert and getting connected to people having his profile sort of, you know, amplified more and more and making connections to the Twitter file censorship people. He actually got the Department at Twitter that is responsible for investigating influence operations. He got the entire team fired. The person's name was Aaron Roderick and that office of Twitter's was in Ireland. And the guy had put out some sort of ad or posting that they're looking for an elections person to monitor disinformation or whatnot. And Mike Ben started this fear mongering campaign. And since he had previously gotten connected to the Twitter file people, Tai Yubi and Schellenberger, who talked to Musk, he got connected straight to Musk and got that whole team fired. And that is the team that would have, you know, found out and expose someone like Mike Ben's or these foreign operators on the platform. So that is one interesting thing. The second thing I wanted to talk about is. OK, so what. So I talk about first question you should ask about live stream is pundits anyone making public pronouncements. Is how does this announcement enhance their own status? All right. What are the esoteric and exoteric messages that they are sending? So exoteric is the public blatant message and the esoteric message is the hidden message. This brings truth for me, right? I will start lying that even realizing what I'm doing, I will exaggerate my own importance and my own dignity and my own righteousness without even realizing what I'm doing or I will realize it and do it anyway. I am not consciously going to say things that diminish the quality of my life outside of these live streams. But I am going to shape. I am going to discipline. I'm going to direct everything that I say in these live streams and on my blog. In my own self interest. I don't want to diminish the quality of my life by things I say here. So I'm going to pull my punches. That presentation I gave about my relationship as ten U.S. and limited as it was with Dennis Prager. I undersold the pathetic nature of my role. I'm I'm not going to tell you what a worm I was at times. And I'm not going to tell you things that will harm me. I'm not going to consciously do that. I'm not going to say things on this live stream that will diminish the most important relationships in my life, which are generally with Orthodox Jews. So I will often be saying one thing and not even realize that my real message is the very opposite. Or I will consciously say one thing and and realize that to those who will understand my very message is the opposite. I sense Luke is very stressed and suffering from anxiety may it soon pass. I think the truth is I carry around an exorbitant level of anxiety. And then sometimes it just becomes really obvious. Sometimes it stops being esoteric anxiety and it becomes exoteric anxiety. It becomes public and blatant so self-interest is not the only thing that motivates me. Motivates other live streamers and pundits and prognosticators and people trying to shape the world. But. It's usually a pretty big role in what people do. So I agree with Pareto that ideology is incredibly flexible. It's something that various individuals and groups will enlist to try to promote their own interests. So for some people say right-leaning Americans who often vote Republican right for decades they supported more and more free trade. Then suddenly they become protectionist under Trump. Right. It basically reflects their own self-interest. Right. Ideology is just the cover for protection of a group's interests. Just putting that to the side for a moment. The issue of free speech. I'll just say upfront my you know I'd rather myself deal with you know the marketplace of ideas than to hand the power of policing speech and thought to corporations big tech in the state that's just my personal.