 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of johnathanasley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, get them to love you more. Don't we want more? Don't we want more love? More. All right, really quickly, if you're new to my YouTube channel, please hit that subscribe button, hit that bell so you can be notified of new content and please hit that like button as soon as, if you like this video, so more people can get to see it. All right, we're gonna talk about love. In particular, getting your partner to love you more. Now, let's get real for a second here. It's funny, I consider myself a realist, but sometimes I seem like a pessimist and that's because I think the vast majority of the population in the relationship realm or let's just say the population in general is dysfunctional. I mean, it's a clusterfuck out there in the dating realm. Yes, I said the F word. I say this because we do have a lot of dysfunctional people seeking connection and sex and companionship. I call it companionship, connection and sex without any real intent to be in a deep, serious, committed relationship. And it can be incredibly frustrating to invest your heart into someone if they're not wanting a serious relationship. And the way we're gonna get there is through a deeper understanding of love. And that's what I wanna lean into today is a deeper understanding of love and how to actually create love with your partner. Now, as I said before, the vast majority of the population is dysfunctional and it's because we have oftentimes it's unresolved childhood wounds and traumas or adult traumas that haven't been addressed. Let me repeat that. Childhood wounds and traumas or adult traumas that haven't been addressed. And I know this personally because I spent seven days doing the Hoffman process which is a deep dive into your childhood wounds and traumas. In fact, here's the book version of it called the Hoffman process, okay? And it may help me understand why my negative patterns in limiting beliefs in life stemmed from what happened in my childhood. Let me repeat that. The negative patterns in limiting beliefs in my life stem from my childhood or in relationship it stemmed mostly from my divorce and the dysfunction that happened going through the divorce process. And the reality is is if you're over 45, 75% of the population who's single and looking for love or looking for companionship, connection and sex have gone through a divorce. So if this hasn't been addressed or healed it's gonna make a relationship incredibly difficult. This is why I wrote my book called what the heck is self love anyway? What the heck is self love anyway? It's a journey of personal development, self help and spiritual work to shore up your foundation, your individual foundation of filling your own love cup so you can actually be in a space to be in a healthy happy relationship with someone. And I invite you that if you're dating a guy get him this book too. You both, it's again, it's an invitation to do work. Now I shared the following book in a previous video and I'm leaning into this heavily because the whole reverse psychology bullshit that you're being taught based on the game the book the rules doesn't work. Reverse psychology only temporarily gets love gets the guy if you will. And I want us to lean into a deeper conversation of love because if you want more love in your life then I invite you to learn how to love deeper and not the way we love our children because that's unconditional. We literally will do anything for our child because we have no expectations from them for those of you have children. I want you to think about that unconditional love comes with no expectations. However, in relationship we have natural expectations and first and foremost is expecting them to be a grownup in relationship. This is why if you haven't read the book how to be an adult in a relationship you better read this to know if you're a grownup in relationship and then choosing people that are grownups because if you want someone to deeply love you it starts by choosing people who are emotional grownups to have a capacity to be in a healthy happy relationship. And now we're gonna do a deeper dive into how to make this even more powerful for you. Now, I'm not gonna teach it here on this video per se because I want you to learn this for yourself. You know, there's an old saying you can give a person a fish and feed them for a day but you can teach them how to fish and they can feed themselves for a lifetime. And this is why this is a must book on your nightstand. This is on my nightstand. This is my, I have two books on my nightstand. This book and my own book, okay? It's called How to Make Love All the Time by Barbara DeAngelis. Look at how thick that is. This book is a must read to learn how to shift especially your relationship that may be weak right now into something deeper, something juicy, something delicious. And when you understand, and by the way she gives great examples in this book. You know, I'm gonna read a couple of the titles here. Your secret sexual classroom. Well, there's sex, okay, this is the sex section. Emotional first aid, practical solutions to resolving conflicts. What to do when love is in trouble. Secrets for making love all the time, living in love. Listen ladies, most men have done little or no work in the area of love. Oh wow, that's the first time I've said that. Most men have done little or no work in the area of love. Most women study this stuff, most men don't. So if you wanna shift the narrative, it's gonna have to come through you because we weren't taught this by our fathers, we weren't taught this even by our mothers, okay? Because we reject our parents because we want to individuate from them. That's a natural thing to do for everyone. So if you want your guy to be more loving, then it's gonna require leading by example. And what I mean by leading by example is you make an investment and then see if he, you know, you make an investment and pause to see if he catches up with you. And if you start reading this book and start making the investment into deeply loving your relationship, I guarantee you have a greater chance for success than having your head buried in the sand like most people do or expecting rules-based way of reverse psychology way of getting the guy. And I want you to go deeper in that because I want you to have a juicy, delicious relationship with a guy. All right, I think you get the gist of this. Again, hit that like button if this made sense. As always, I'm gonna wrap up this video. First off, giving myself a big gigantic shot at the bearer hug of self-love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love. If that's okay, I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or a teddy bear and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch, bye-bye now.