 Let me see Got this right Set up YouTube let me see my chat working Yeah, Z. Okay. I'll see a chat right there Hey, the rocky rocky Michelle All right, I apologize about not being able to do a bonus Q&A last night Or this morning had to do one of those drive-thru birthday parties this morning And uh running around Dropping things off the family but figured I'll go ahead and do a bonus Q&A for those who are Able and Want to try to go a little earlier because UFC coming on the night and I need to relax and Also, some of the people that's in other countries that's six hours ahead, you know, it's a midnight for them. So I Want to try to get on here in time Yep, Adia after four years you should leave The ratio let me see y'all make sure y'all put that hashtag Q in front of your question How do women differentiate between their love languages and their requirement for a man to provide for her if she also likes for nothing gifts Well providing or wanting a man to provide is not a love language So if you like for nothing gifts, then that's a love language according to the author of the love languages but you know, that's two different things because Or for nothing give that's a bonus. You know, that's not a need. That's a want so You know and for nothing give can be I get you this hill ball of lotion On Saturday for nothing. You see what I mean, but this ain't light bill. This ain't water bill Speaking of them put a little bit of here on why I gave them a hand be asking So you see what I'm saying? So that's a for nothing gift So that's totally different than providing because paying that rent and mortgage lights and water that's provides so For nothing gift, that's really almost everybody love language, you know, just because people like to be surprised people like to know You're thinking about them Stephanie love God bless you now your book is everything. I'm listening to the e-book. Okay To the audio book you got audio book. God bless you. Thank you for Checking that out I'm gonna just call you w8. Thank you for that blessing up there God bless your height on this should I reach out to my ex and cuss him out after he Did to me or just let it go and move on he cheated Took my virginity and abandoned me Well cursing them out ain't gonna do you no good It's just gonna make make you a little more mad And it's also gonna show him that he has power over you So understand that right there. So I wouldn't really worry about that too much Marie God bless you now. Bless you Tony happy Mother's Day to your Queen. Thank you very much thinking about the Queen Boss lady God bless you. I just finished the life coaching course and join my mentor doc life Thank you for this. I'm getting head shots in my bio done. Then I'll be ready That's amazing boss lady pebbles. That's amazing. I Can't wait to you get your first booking on there Baby daddy Tex could he have some of my stimulus check told him to ask his girlfriend Do I block him a second time? Do I block him second time asking for money? Well It's your baby daddy, you know, so Y'all got a lifelong tie and he's just asking cuz he feel like he know you he feel like he got you, you know, so I wouldn't You know, that's not really like a threat or anything like that. He's just asking, you know, just ignore it But see you don't know if one day if he got to be rushed to the hospital or something happening Somebody get his phone and need to text you so unless he's really really being terrible Then I wouldn't worry about blocking them The ratio God bless you correct. I understand lol put that lotion on mr. Gaskin Just wondering if there was a way to differentiate the two. Well, I'm glad you got your answer. Go out bless it out I'm thinking about coaching, but not sure if it would be awkward for me. Can you describe how your sessions go? For first timers Also loved the mama's boy video very relatable glad you got that Um Coaching is really just like a conversation, you know in the first part I'm just asking general questions just to fill out a client's file, you know, where you located marital relationship status parental status and all that Okay ratio God bless you and um occupation age race and Then from there I go to You know keeping the session notes I turn it over to the client the client tell me the situation at hand. I'm taking notes jotting it down I'm writing down any questions. That's popping in my mind And so when the client is done talking I can ask those questions So it's just like a conversation. It's a flow But we talking about the issue at hand and we coming up with you know a plan Going through some things like that Hey, God bless you Caramel kisses. She said let's thank Cherie for allowing us to have some of her time today cash out Money sign Tony gas and saying happy Mother's Day Cherie. I'm wishing all the mothers are happy Mother's Day Hey, God bless you now Hey, babe Babe babe I was just trying to make sure she can't hear me because she was sitting outside of my office, so Man, this will be between me and the Lord how much of these blessings I get to But you know many integrity So I probably don't have to get it all to but I just want to make sure I ain't have a witness So I've seen here that I talked to the Lord about it after this and see What I'm how much I'm gonna be able to send to her from the old blessings What is a good color to wear to attract a man? To be honest with you man sees you in all colors, but the more you you know purple Pink steels blues and greens you're gonna jump off the page a little more Hi, Tony. Thanks for all your videos and the woman's influence when he won't say he loves you But says he's with you because you're a good woman Move on well depends on how long it's been So if it's been more than a year, then yeah, you can move on with your life if he still doesn't love you But if it's less than that then he's just being real because to be honest with you take a man a year or two really a year to really start to feel some real love and and Typically around two to five years for a man to fall in love It's shocking, but a lot of men Get married before they have actually fallen in love and honestly That's why you see so much cheating in relationships because a man is getting married out of tradition or religion and may not actually be in love Because men guard their heart so much, you know, it's it's hard for a lot of men to fall in love Gina God bless you now Tony Can you speak a little on the difference between in love with someone versus addicted to someone? Um, ironically, I was just talking about in love um That's a good question. The thing about it is is It's really it can be one in the same But in love is a healthy Thing whereas when you're addicted to someone that's unhealthy. So to be addicted to someone that is Codependent whereas when you're in love, it should be Interdependent but the thing about love what you have to understand is that love needs to be confirmed So if you love someone and they don't love you in return Then you can't really be in love because love needs to be confirmed. It needs to be mutual Love is a two-way street. So if you are Loving someone that is treating you bad, then that's not love. That's self-hate So when you loving someone and they are reciprocating That's when you have real love and that's when you could really be in love So that's the difference whereas when you're addicted to someone You could be addicted to someone but not be in love It the person could be addicted to you and it's not in love. It's more so just a soul tie Meet the same thing when you think about a person's relationship with a Drug like cocaine They're not they don't love it Because of what it's doing to them. They know it's ruining their life. They know it's cutting their life short They know it's controlling them. They know that it's gonna make them lose friends and family They know that it's gonna cost them job might cost them, you know a place to live They know that that substance is going to drive their life into the ground But they are addicted to it. So what you got to understand is that in addition is never healthy You can choose to love something or someone But to be addicted to it means that even when it's not good for you, you can't get away from it So that's what you have to realize is that love is pure love is whole love is holy Love is righteous. Love does not hurt But see an addiction can hurt So that's where you draw the line between the two. Um, that's a good question. Thank you for asking that Um, I was in a relationship. It seemed great But he never wanted to communicate when I knew something bothered him at six months. He said his heart wasn't in it What does that mean? It means his heart wasn't in it so When a man tells you something a lot of times it means exactly what it say So it means that he's in a relationship, but he doesn't love you He knows you're not his wife, but he doesn't have a better option at the moment So he's just with you out of convenience. You you're a placeholder. You see what I mean? You like this here like this. Oh, let me put my bracelet on Why bought me the hill? Oh Air made bracelet when we was in on that Europe vacation. You like this hill coaster So he he just sitting here You see what I'm saying? There's my immunity shot So you just that coaster That's all that's what he means by his heart isn't in it And that's why he didn't care to communicate with you and would rather you just keep prying and asking and begging him Because you giving him attention So if a man won't open up and communicate then just move on about your business In the in your day, you know in that week It don't necessarily mean you leave the relationship now unless he never communicates But in that moment you move on about your business Um coach Chris god bless you I focus on co-parenting. Let me see the I focus on co-parenting and single mom coaching Would you suggest group coaching step moms group or group of moms who co-parent? Or stay one on one. Um group coaching is a great thing to do. You know, I do group coaching But it's a great thing once you if you start to build a follower, you know If you get on instagram and you post it every day or you get on youtube and you post it every day And you start to get some supporters Then you can do some groups, but you typically want to have them groups You know So that is worth your while because with group coaching you charge less So one-on-one session I make I charge $275 an hour But with a group program I may charge 47 Or 99 so if that group is a four-week Curriculum or a 10-week curriculum or 12-week and I charge $99 and one person signed up now You're doing an extra amount of sessions for $99. You see what I mean? So you go to group coaching when your brand has grown to the point that one-on-one just is not doable You know, you can't really do it that well because you don't have enough time in a day Oh, gee, oh god bless you now This blessing is for miss charique asking Tony tell her happy mother's day. Hey god bless you My god bless y'all think about my wife. I need that. I'm gonna have to Write this down what I'll tell you what youtube will show me what y'all gave when I get off of here. So I You know, send a transfer Lord hold me to that because I'm alive to get off in a game of mine Sir male god bless your happy mother's day to the queen. This is for her I know you don't hear it much from the fellas, but you have been a blessing to me Thank you sir male. Okay, my brother god bless you now. You to be honest with you I'm just assuming this was a woman and then when I and hold on I hear much from the brothers So I was like the lady a lady giving me a compliment for the fellas But then when I looked up and I said, oh, this is a brother. Hey god bless your brother. You right I didn't many fellows on here now. It gets too hot in the kitchen for for most men With the way we be talking this here. Love Little toy your god bless you. What's the best way? For a woman to communicate her standards to a man should she Wait until something happens to call him on it or tell him up front um You teach as you go, you know, you teach as you go. It's just like with anything, you know, it's like If you see somebody raising a child or if you raising the child You don't just go up to them and give them the hundred things that they can't do It's just as you go each thing you say, okay, boom. Hey, look, don't do that. Hey, don't say that So it's a few things that a man is going to try you with that when you call them out on it I went to I told my wife a I'll be over there by midnight And I didn't come back to 5 a.m. She didn't answer the door. She let me know the next day. That's absolutely unacceptable Don't don't don't give me your word and not keep it Got with her try to yell at her. She said hey, don't yell at me Boom, let me know that's unacceptable So Those couple things let me know that whoa if I can't even raise my voice a little bit when we have an argument disagreement What in the world is she gonna do if I cheat? What in the world is she gonna do if things get physical? So because she checked me on them little things it let me know that I definitely can't escalate to anything That's that's big. That's a kingdom issue um Ms. Harris I'm gonna try to stay away from the from your first name now because It's long gone now and it's a little small God bless you not stemming from the make him earn it video Can a woman turn it around after being low value and show him he has to earn you No, did not get on my back. Well, if you didn't get on your back, the next question is did you open your mouth? And if you didn't open your mouth either then you're not really low value Because if you cook form if you went on dates if you answer the phone at midnight Anything else you do a man don't really see it as Low value when you get on your back Early, you know quit fast into hurry That's when a man says okay She don't know her worth because she just put her life In harm's way to sleep with me because he knows that he could Put any kind of disease in you that you could get pregnant and you don't even really know him that well yet Or he hasn't given you a lifelong commitment commitment through marriage. So that's when a man looks at the situation different because You gave him his whole your whole body Before he deserved it or worked for it Hey, y'all try to keep that chat clear, you know, don't put only put questions in the chat Only put questions in the chat That way y'all don't have to be working the moderators look like I see caramel kisses in there working. I show appreciation Livy live god bless you Only put questions in the chat and when somebody asks a question y'all just let me answer it. Okay, so they don't get too confused Livy live should you be faithful slash loyal during the talking phase or should You have multiple men at one time until one makes you his significant other Um, I got a video called how to date correctly I may address that in there, but when you talking that's all you doing is talking So it's kind of like being a corporation and you doing and you've got a job opening You're not just going to interview one person You're going to interview several people. So the same thing when you're looking for your other half You're going to talk to several people now when you become Exclusive with one person when this person says will you be mine and you look at them and you're like, yes, you worthy of me Giving you exclusivity then you cut off everybody else So it's a natural progression But no you don't meet somebody and then boom in the first week you cut off everybody else just because you met this person Especially you don't even know if they want you like that if they see you like that And if you're a woman then You best believe a man is talking to multiple women You know until he chooses the one but listen don't do it just because a man does it You got to do it because it makes sense to you and that's what you want to do So understand that there Look crystal god that should not mr. Gas and thank you for teaching about male energy I have some male friends that are trying to get in my orbit And I won't let them because that stops the right man from coming I pulled over Okay, hey, you did the right thing now you did the right thing Courtney T god bless you now Thanks for all that you do looking forward to going through the life coach course happy mother's day to charique ask Hey god bless you now have fun in the course wishing you the best And y'all remember when you finish the life coach certification Make sure you join my mentor dot life I'm gonna start meeting your clients Why do men nitpick about little things and bring up what his ex used to do in relationships? Uh, he don't want you. That's just a man who don't want you That's all that is it's just a man you wasting your time with and he wants you to feel insecure Inadequate he wants you to compare yourself to his ex. He just don't want you My parents got a divorce when I was 12 I am 23 now. Is it necessary for me to understand why they got a divorce to prevent it for my future relationships? I don't think they'll tell me That'll be a shame if they don't tell you that'll be a shame if they don't tell you I teach parents all the time the best parent is transparent If you want your child to not make the same mistakes you've made then you got to be transparent with your child so If you sit down and talk to the one that you got the closest relationship with I believe they'll tell you I believe they'll tell you and just let them know that you've grown and you're ready And you don't want to make the same mistake so you come into them to ask them To save you some how they can trouble and if they love you they should tell you if they don't tell you Then that's very selfish and immature and that just would mean that they really were not raised They just grew and that's the issue with some parents a lot of our parents were not raised They just grew up Meaning that they just got older what their parents didn't show them the way And so the mistake that a lot of parents make is hiding their troubles and their issues From their kids when their kids are of age and then now boom Their sons and daughter tripping in in the same hole that they could have avoided Why would my ex try to keep me from reading self-development books or other growth resources? Is he Just insecure do those guys change? He could change but he probably not going to change with you So that's what you got to realize with with Most people is once a person starts speaking a certain language with you That's the language that they continue to speak because that's what they're comfortable at So yes, he can change he could change his ways, but will he do that with you? And the answer is typically no now if you call him out on that and you let him know How backwards that is what he's doing and how it doesn't make sense that he doesn't want you to learn and to grow Now he may feel stupid see the error in his ways and he may change Now if you call him out on that and he still doesn't change Then Not out 10 times you're going to have to leave that relationship for him to get the picture And then he may come back apologetic and change Joanna God bless you now poor island on life poor island on life How can I heal my son's heart when my son's father only wants to pay Child support and not be active in his life. I'm always reaching out to him when my son wants to speak on the phone What should I do? well, a la You all you can do is all you can do You see what i'm saying do all you can do So what that means is you be loving you be caring you be consistent You go the extra mile you be his everything See if you slacken then that makes the pain even worse But if you got him in activities you showing up at the games you taking him to do things see things experience life You treating him Like you love him and the world is his oyster And you loving him chestizing him holding him accountable Then you start to feel that void But if you slacken and you're not doing what you're going to do Then that's going to make the situation worse and he's going to feel that void He's going to feel it more and it's going to grow so all you can do is all that you can do And if you do that you can't really worry about the rest You know you pray and you put mentors in his life like coaches instructors Whether he doing music lessons or whether he playing sports And the the void will be feel Endating when is it appropriate to have at home dates? You know Sometimes I try to put a number on things just so y'all have some type of guideline But the numbers don't necessarily always apply So what I say is you do 10 dates outside of the home Because what that should equate to is about 20 hours with this person on these dates But in but and if these dates is one time a week and y'all talking every single day Then now there's 10 dates. So that's 10 weeks So that's two and a half months. So that's 80 days So that's 80 hours of talk time a date typically is two to four hours So it's 10 of that. So that's 100 to 120 hours of time with a person getting to know them at that point You should have a clear understanding of who this person is how they move how they think Then you you may feel comfortable if you don't feel comfortable You don't have a piece in your spirit Then go another five or another 10 days The key is that you feel like you really kind of know this person And that this ain't Ted Bundy nephew who's trying to live up to his uncle's standards You see what I mean? And then when you do the in-home dates You got an in-home date curfew So if it started seven it didn't need to be over by 10 or 11 Thing is is we think we grown and you let somebody come over at seven That's the thing, you know, they spend in the night not in this thing You know, y'all shacking up. You see what I mean? So you have to do it In a way that makes sense and still kind of sets boundaries I am that girl. God bless you now. Can you explain the term manifest? I saw youtube video about manifest your ideal partner Well, I have to tell you this right here that you ain't hear that from me Okay, so I can't explain what somebody else talking about You feel me so you have to ask that person what they talking about And it's probably just a word that they done heard And they just out here trying to sound deep And so what you have to do is manifest your partner And to manifest your partner you need to just hold your fingers like this. Okay And then you want a chance Okay, and so they just trying to sound deep you ain't manifesting nothing You could work on yourself. You could love yourself. You could prepare yourself What I call prepare and position then when you prepare and you position meaning you don't work on yourself You loving yourself you taking care of yourself Then when you step out in the free world You will begin to attract who is for you and that may be what they mean, but You know with some folks you just really don't know I don't speak on what I talk about. Okay, you got to ask me about one of my terminologies Do men regret abandoning their children you I honestly do not know Because I've never been that man and will never be that man. So I really don't understand that man I don't understand really how a man can do that um It's just I just assume he has to have a lot of pain and a lot of brokenness and a lot of empty voids in his heart In his life to be able to do that. I really Do not respect that type of man nor do I understand that type of man. So me personally And I won't raise that type of man my sons. They're gonna be there. They're gonna do right I am that girl. God bless you. No, so And that's just how I was raised but typically it's based on what a man saw in his life So I saw my father in the home So I wanted to be in the home with my children If a man didn't see that then that may be a father in the home May be foreign to him and he may not feel that it's necessary or that it's a requirement of a man If his man if his father was not there So he said my father left me that must just be the thing to do that just must be life I made it look at me, you know, all I'm out here doing this what he's saying to himself All I'm out here doing is sleeping with multiple women unprotected. So that must be the way to go So that that that's something that You may have to ask a reformed Dead beat dad like, you know, what happened with your brother? How did you feel about a parent an parent Getting a mother's day gift For a child. Okay. Yeah, you had a love Few typos in there Been together 15 months. He asked me to marry him via text six months ago But I felt he wasn't ready now today He's saying he wants to marry me and want to know if I'm ready. Am I wrong to not rush it? Or sleeping together You're not wrong But a man who asked you over text and then now he just kind of asking you in casual conversation Something going on right there. So what I feel like what's happening in your spirit Is the reason why you're not ready to do it is because you really just don't believe that he's the man Because if a woman wants marriage more than a man wants marriage So when a man got to beg a woman to marry him, you're typically dealing with the wrong man because if he want to marry you and you don't want to marry him then That's that's backwards because nine out of ten times a woman going to want marriage Before the man wants marriage So either you to come up and he's trying to get you So he could come up on you and you feel that way and that's why you don't really want to deal with him So you got to really get to the reason behind that um okay, but Parent getting the mother they give for a child's mother Uh, I really don't have a feeling on that. I don't think it means too much, you know it just It just some people nice and just giving, you know, you might be reading into it a little bit much Why do men say they want a natural woman with no weave fake lashes and brows and nails But they like all the pics and go after those types And that's a good that's a good question. Um, it's kind of like A man paying to go to the circus, you know, he pays and he goes to the circus And they say come over here see The the three foot lady with an alligator tail $10 see the three foot lady with an alligator tail $10 and he paid at $10 and They make thousands of dollars of people going to see that three foot lady with the alligator tail It's a difference between what a man look at online to entertain him Versus who he want to settle down with and marry. So that's what the guys doing. They looking at this woman and they seeing her like Entertainment they seeing her like a You know a blow-up doll like a dress-up woman like, okay, all of this here all the extra Okay, you got your lips done. You got your booty done. You got your breath done Okay, you got your lace front end. Okay, that's cute. You got oil on your body Let me hit the light and a lot of times if a one if a man see a woman doing the absolute most He assumes that she's insecure And so a man that's not committed a man that's not in a relationship He'll like the picture just to say hey keep going keep, you know, keep trying keep loving yourself And so it don't make sense to a woman, but to that man. He just saying hey Same reason why guys go to the strip club. They don't want their daughter doing that They don't want their wife doing that. But yet they go and reinforce another woman doing it because they don't care nothing about that woman And so that's really How it's hypocritical and it's a double standard, but that's that's what they saying Um, get it back. God bless you not exclusive And live several states away if I move to his area for a few years should he agree to My location after his child graduates won't go there without the ring Um, no That's not a guarantee because if you get up and you move to him What's the sense that you move into him and then y'all moving back to where you from You might as well stay where you at. So if you move to him, you telling him, hey, I'm willing to pick up and move to you And so if you willing to pick up and move to him, you might as well stay there So I really wouldn't be trying to play, you know, musical chairs with which all live in situation and So if you're gonna move there because that's what his child is that and she needed to finish school Him and her then um You know make the move it really is when you got love it don't matter where you live at You can live under a rock when you got real love Um Veggie girl god bless you now. Thank you tony for helping this older and should know better woman You being sent to speak to us is surely love from above. Hey god bless you. I appreciate that blessing now Courtney Jones god bless you 22 Black pro athlete DM him first About book now calls me daily for two months never flourish nor do I X is both white. Don't see how It benefits him Slash me why? Okay, I'm trying to see what you sent. So you look like you of color And then his x is white Or your x is white um 22 black pro athlete DM him first about the book Now when you DM him first about that book, were you trying to shoot your shot? Trying to get on his radar. So we see you And if he calling you daily and don't flirt You know I really don't know I really don't I really don't understand that right there. It sounds like to me. He might be shy might be Intimidated might just be learning how to deal with a woman don't want to shoot his shot because he'll Pro-athlete. I'm really not sure what that means Do you think a lot of black men require a woman to be light-skinned when dating? And do you think black women are the most against interracial dating in our Community um That's a good question. You know a lot of men today a lot of black men today I'm gonna explain this to y'all so y'all understand What's going on with a lot of these brothers? Okay Is it's kind of like If you grow up eating fried chicken all the time Then you get to a place the way you got some money and you got your own place to live You may want you some linguine So the thing what these black men is going through Is they so used to looking at their complexion? That they think another woman is like something new. It's like a You know a different flavor. It's like, oh man, I've been eating chocolate ice cream Let me try vanilla ice cream or let me try macadamia nut So it's really it's not all It's not really all the time a thing to where it's colorism or You know all of this it's just that he wants something different because opposites attract That's why you see so many light-skinned women With brown-skinned men and then you'll see brown-skinned women with light-skinned men A lot of times it's just people wanting something that looks different than them because they live with themselves smell They sell and they just want something new And then but the amount of you know Brown-skinned women may outnumber the amount of available Light-skinned men that's looking for you. And so it just kind of appears that way But a lot of times just and then also is self-hate In a lot of cases it could be a man just has been made to feel that his color is ugly less than overlooked You know mistreated and all of those things could be true And so he says listen, I don't want my child to go through what I went through And if he or she is lighter, she won't be he or she won't be bullied or ostracized or racially profile or You know shot at while kill while jogging So a lot of times it's out of fear Because of what they've gone through And and then when you say interracial dating A lot of black women are against interracial dating Because you feel like look it already ain't enough for y'all to go around Because of prison and early death and gang violence and lack of education and lack of jobs So then the pool that's left if y'all choosing women that look that's of another race now what we got left to pick from And so I I get that too. So a lot of black women are against that and what I tell black men is The woman of the other race did she want you When you was pulling black Because when you popping in black now now you could get all these other races Sometimes another race only want you when you rich or you successful you got a good job Now when you Was seen as black in trash did they want you? And that's what I asked them a lot of time, you know Don't get the way you big and you popping and you the popular person Or you got money and then now you get all the flavors of the rainbow And then you looking down on the black women who was there for you when you were stank Snanky booty and musty Aw Chanel God bless you now How do you think a man should respond to his woman celebrating holidays when he doesn't He told me that The only time he'd give me a gift Is on my bday Well, see that's the thing to where that plays into y'all life and what you got going on give it back God bless you So that could almost be foundational because it's certain holidays that may be foundational It may be so Easter you celebrating the resurrection of jesus Christmas you be celebrating the the birth of jesus even though we know what he wasn't born on that day or resurrected on that day That's what the day may represent to you So if he doesn't celebrate that then y'all foundational beliefs are off Now if you don't celebrate that or that's not why you celebrate it Then y'all could be in the same boat But the next thing what you got to realize is okay when you raise kids kids going to school and they're looking at everybody celebrating all these days Alice god bless you They're looking at kids all these days celebrating all these days and they got to come home Daddy, you know, what can we celebrate? What is about valentine's? What about Easter? What about this and he like I don't celebrate holidays But at five six years old they don't understand why everybody else getting gifts and costumes or toys And he and he trying to be fake deep Because he hollering about that's a pagan day And and that's a pagan day that they didn't gave you and it's just to make money So he want to be fake deep And why he don't want to sell up on celebrate a holiday when understanding it's just another day And if that's just a day that's been chosen Don't deprive your child and make your child ostracize and the odd ball out because you want to be fake deep But yet you still smoking weed killing yourself You know, yet you still gambling yet. You still watching porn yet You're doing all this stuff to defy your spirit But then hollering by you don't want to celebrate a holiday holiday Really a lot of time what that is is just a man being cheap He's trying to find a way to save money And the holiday cost money. So if he could get out of them holidays He's saving a whole lot of money and then he get to pat himself on the back for being woke That's what a lot of them doing You know, God bless you nine How can I get an emotionally distant man to open up and communicate what they want slash need? And when something bothers them that I may have done Successful man treated me well and showed investment in the relationship. Thanks See you just got to try different ways You see what I'm saying when you try to do something one way and it don't work. What do you do you try another way? So if he's sitting there and he's being closed in and you keep begging him begging him begging him begging him then Stop begging him. Just let him be quiet. Let him sit down Ignore redirect reinforce it ignore move on to the next conversation when he Engaging that then you reinforce that engagement But don't keep prying keep prying keep prying because now you're giving him attention So you're giving attention to a maladaptive behavior So any behavior that is recognized and rewarded repeats itself So you've got to change the way you're dealing with his silence until you find a way To unlock his vault. You said, I mean different vaults work different ways Some you could punch the number in some you got to spin the dial. You see what I mean Some take your fingerprint So you got to figure out what his vault take to get into it and you got to try different ways and and you're going to realize it Extra god bless you're helping me as a woman and also with my relationship. I watch your videos daily. Thank you Hey god bless. I appreciate that Don't know like god bless you now. I see pop in the chat over there Shabon Shabon now forgive me for saying your name wrong bless you Let me see what you said I'm dating a man that was super consistent now that quarantine has been in place. He is super inconsistent he said specific times as and As in appointment times for us to talk Should I be concerned? Or wait until quarantine lifts. Um, yep, you ought to be concerned sound like he got a woman Sound like he got a woman and he said in the time for y'all to talk that he knows she gonna be gone or that he gonna be gone So when it's right now in this situation if he was real and and you were the main one Yeah, you would be able to call him anytime of day Unless he got a job that he a central job that he's still working But even with that you would know his work hours and you would be able to call him reach him anytime after work So it sound like you being played system So if if I was you, I'd be looking to move on with my life. That's what I'd be looking for Hey, y'all listen to share not only questions in the chat and place hashtag queue in front of your question Hi, Tony. I have been told A white man will adore the black woman more than the black man would have you heard of this? D. Love. God bless you Uh, don't no lie. I'm gonna try to get your question Um, it's not that a white man or a daughter black woman more than a black man Well, it's more so that he's intrigued see the same thing with white man As I mentioned earlier about the black man men like variety men like something new when you grow up looking at yourself all your life And then you get something that looks different than you it's more intriguing It's just no different than a dog sniffing around the ground looking for something. That's just new It's a new space, you know, you let a dog out in a new space He So when a white man get with a black Woman or a black man get with a white woman It's like a amusement park because you're seeing something that's totally different. It's a different culture It's a different way of living So the white man not necessarily cherishing the black woman. He just intrigued It's almost like a science experiment like you in the science lab and you get in the mix chemistry You know when you're getting the test stuff out So it's less about race and color and more just about, you know, exploring more more about if something new It's like, oh wow, that's different That's really what it is And then sometimes in the process you get hooked on what's new you get hooked on what's different And you'll notice that when you see white men who date black women some some of them end up kind of Getting some of the characteristics of that culture With the way they dress or how they eat or how they talk because they may just be so intrigued and vice versa when you see a White a black man with a white woman is either a lot of time when you look at it You'll see either the black man start to pick up more of her culture or she starts to pick up more of his culture and But you rarely see people of different races Together and both authentic to their Stereotypical culture you'll see somebody compromising Somebody getting more intrigued in the other culture when you look at them case by case You'll see that On live learning grow Say she married a white man and dated black men before I married a white man I could tell you from my experience my husband loved the ground I walked on up until The day he died it wasn't that he loved the ground you walked on it's just that You was somebody different walking on the ground He used to he used to black women walking on the ground I mean white women walking on the ground he get with you It ain't that he loved you any different than a than a black man and but at the same time a black man with you He knows you he used to you he doesn't see in your type So it's just like with anything it's familiarity breeze contempt So when you familiar with something you just more used to it And so therefore you able to say okay, we take it for granted. It's the same way how you talk to Your sister You talk to your sister a certain way, but somebody else talk to your sister that way you ready to throw hands But you say I could do that because that's my sister So that's the same thing with Dating in your same race you feel more comfortable So you act a certain way you might not Treat it the same cherish it the same, but when you get outside of that some people they like oh, there's something new Let me tip toe Because they're really trying to learn it trying to understand it But you never really know what's going on in a person head you never really know if What happened to him by his own women is what made him go against that Andrea god bless you now. Thanks to you slash your queen. I finish The one the woman's influence audio today. I'm starting my second listen tonight. God bless you now great book I love how direct slash real you are. Hey god bless you now. Everybody can't handle that realness now Everybody can't handle that realness a lot of folks want to beat around that bush but You know, I got to get to you you know Really as I possibly can How long after a breakup does a man normally reach back out if it was his fault if he's going to reach out again It's really no time on it, you know, but typically It'll be inside that first 30 days if he cares and if he's remorseful To be honest with you it's going to be in that first week To be honest with you now when a man go four five six months He really cared but don't care or just got too too much ego You know and in that case when he wrong You've got to keep moving about your life and if he want to catch up to you then he'll catch up to you Improve to you that he really want to be there Is it possible to get a man back if it was the woman driving him away? Uh Well, if you drove him away you got to ask yourself Why do you want him back if you drove him away? And then you got to ask yourself. Do you want a man back who resents you or has resentment for you? Do you want that back? So if you drove him away? You really need to appreciate the fact that you drove him away because that either means you wasn't ready Or it means he wasn't the one for you and you just didn't know how to articulate that or couldn't express that So understand that Um joyous that I miss a 199 question Um Courtney John God bless you now. I see that blessing Y'all let me see if I can find that 199 question. Okay. Yep. Don't no lie. Remember that Um, yeah when y'all put them in there in the chat like that, they'll get lost. What a guy, um Why would a guy I'm not with yet call me babe? Okay. Yeah, that's 199 question It just you know Just how he talks it just it's really typically a guy that's not really Used to women all too familiar with women Uh kind of kind of lame kind of corny, you know, he just Babe is just what sounds good to him. He could have been raised with people who got an old spirit Who always say hon and sweetie? It it it don't really mean nothing. It don't it don't mean nothing at all to be honest with you. It really don't it Uh women, I know y'all mind very analytical, but it's just how he talks Now should he be doing it? No doesn't mean he a bad guy. No, it just he kind of It's honestly more innocent than it is harmful because he a former player a player a woman I was like how I was don't use terms of endearment because a player wants you to feel You know less than a player wants you to feel like he's not sweating you that you got to work for him A guy who want to be a nice guy even if he is a player But he want to be a nice guy who he got a nice guy in him He may use terms of endearment just trying to be kind and sweet And charming so it is not really anything that you can Know I told my ex-husband that I was moving to Texas Just to see what he was saying and do today. He bought me to go dinner Does this mean anything does he still have feelings for me still? I want us to come back together one day um He might want to send you away just with a good taste in your mouth with a good feeling But it doesn't really mean anything for man is not pursuing you if a man is not making it clear Making it known that he want to be with you. You can't really read into it too much You can't really read and you got to understand that your brain is going to self-serve and you're going to heal some things But that don't necessarily mean y'all need to be together And if y'all are meant to be together, he really needs to be coming after you pursuing you and letting you know He wants to be with you In age beauty zone god bless you now. I can't help but be argumentative when I disagree I like to prove my point. I know men don't like it. I tried to change that But it is not easy advice That's everybody To be honest with that's everybody. It's just how you disagree. It's not the fact that you disagree and it's just how you disagree But that's everybody, you know, don't don't trip over too much Just learn how to do it in a way that you can maybe you pose a question instead of, you know Yelling or getting snappy or being condescending. You ask the next question That's going to lead the person closer to kind of understanding where you're coming from Say god bless you now. What are some ways to introduce the gospel to a worldly man? I don't want to turn him off or develop feelings for a man who remains lukewarm or doesn't want to know god Thank you You need to move on with your life, you know, if you're dealing with a man in a romantic way And he's not a man of faith You plan with fire and so the only way you really could introduce the gospel to him is to represent what what christ represents If you're gonna deal with him So that means you just operating in love the way you live He's gonna say, well, why don't you get drunk? Well, why don't you curse? Well, why don't you do this? You know fornicate, why don't you do this? Why don't you do that? And then you're able to Express your faith. Why are you so slow to anger? Why are you cool temper? You know, how you do that? So he's learning like that Boyfriend of five years about to propose on my bday 522 We've broken up twice but have been back together seven months. How do I know it's real? Hey god bless you now When y'all them broke up twice Uh It's your chances of it being real is slim And if he bought the proposal to you on 522 And y'all been back together seven months You just got to continue to watch pay attention to the signs pay attention to the signs but When that break up the makeup relationship is rarely real It's rarely real when you break up the makeup So you're gonna have to see that this time that it's the real deal that It's about to be seven months. You need about another five months to see if it's truly real Cherise god bless you now god bless you tony feeling super blessed and encouraged by your videos. Hey god bless you I so appreciate you Like feel so bless you now bless you tony. I love how your advice is grounded in faith honesty and balance I enjoyed your video today about loving a woman and was wondering if you could please make a video on a man's love On a man's love needs slash desire Okay, yeah, keep that in mind a little paper that I'll be writing on Got a little pen Let me see about this here. What'd you say a man's needs? Okay, let me hold y'all hold on right quick Milk man trucker god bless you now Okay, I'll see you tomorrow God bless you tomorrow at what age should I begin transparency with my daughter about her apps and father? She is seven and hurting her dad is an abusive drug addict and doesn't respect himself or value his kids It's totally up to you, you know because you live with her and you know her so if she is Able to process those like the words that you just used us. Can she process at it? You know, can she process of you? You know, is it is it a way you can explain that to her express that to her That she would be able to process it that she will understand a bad person versus good person You know good deeds versus bad deeds And so it's really a personal choice But if she's hurting then that means she could process pain That she can feel it and she's not looking at like, oh, where's daddy? Oh, he never comes around Oh, but she actually has feelings and it's hurting her so that means that Now she need that band aid. She need that explanation. She need to understand what's going on You know, she need to understand like, you know, it's it's certain things that Like a person can put in their body And it can make them feel bad and then they forget how to be nice Because of the things that they put in their body and that she might well, what do you mean? And so you being her mother you got to learn the language to use to Speak to her on her level so that she can have some consolation in her heart And she don't just feel lost and In the open and you know abandoned and just confused So you find those words to put it toward her where she understands that he's hurting he's going through Or what have you but that's really Your parents gift as a parent You know how to do it, but you made your heart maybe It hurts you Gina god bless you now. He's been there for me more than anyone lately It's been three years and he's not about marriage. I have three children how to end it nicely so he stops trying Well, that's your problem You know, if you ended it nicely then a man don't deal with nice You got to understand a man being yelled at and cursed out You don't have to yell at him and curse at him, but you got to be stern about it. You got to be able to Sturnly let him know like listen, this is done. This is over. I gotta move on Please don't reach out to me. Please don't contact me because I want a relationship. I want to be married So I need to be available for the man who is ready for marriage and you're not ready for marriage So you obviously not the man for me and then you're gonna have to block them You're gonna have to stop responding to him But he's there and he's being nice and that's better than nothing to you So you kind of deep down really you rather half a man than no man And that's why you putting up with him. So you're gonna have to really make up your mind about what you want Kimberly god bless you now God bless you With mother's day approaching every year I find myself sad that I never knew my mom Can you make a video that speaks to damaging effects of motherless daughters? Thank you Phoenix god bless you now god bless you I'm sure it's something out there on it Me personally, I don't think I'll be able to do it justice, you know, because I don't I don't know that feeling I don't know really what the depths of what you're feeling And I feel like a lot of times when people try to speak on stuff that they haven't been through and they don't understand It could almost be, you know disrespectful Because until you've gone through something you really don't understand the depths of that and so I'm sure it's somebody in this whole worldwide web of youtube that Has lost their mother or didn't know their mother and now they have a platform and they've spoken on it And I really appreciate the fact that y'all Trust my voice and I noticed that a lot of y'all asked me to speak on things that I'm not called to speak on That is not in my Expertise a wheelhouse and it's because you've come to trust my voice So you want to hear my thoughts on several different topics? But it's only certain things I could speak on, you know, and I don't try to be a guru or know it all I know what I know And that's love and relationships and that's only because I made every mistake I done been in every kind of relationship except for a homosexual relationship But I done been in every other kind of relationship as far as a man playing a role with a woman I done been the bad got a tough guy to mean got a nice guy to sweet got a player of the faithful guy I done the christian guy The drug deal I done been every kind of guy to a woman in a relationship And that's why I can express what I express on these videos, but outside of that I really You know, I stay in my lane, you know So I really appreciate y'all trusting my voice and asking me tonic. Can you speak on this? Can you speak on that? But I got to do, you know, what I'm called to do and I don't want to do a disservice To trying to be a jack of all trades Um male's god bless your tonic Well, an emotionally unavailable man eventually opened up to learn how to love the man I dated mentioned all the previous women He dated didn't like who he is. He said I am who I am Um Yes, he could change but to be honest with you It sounded he said in his ways and he don't care enough about women. He don't care enough about marriage to change So a man has to want something that he doesn't have In order to want to change so if he don't want marriage And he don't really care if a woman leave him Because he's saying they didn't like who I was but I am who I am that lets you know He don't care about how you feel About how he is he gonna be who he is. So a man who does not care That man know he will not change With a man 12 years have business homes And now a baby says nothing makes him happy Um Well, if it don't make him happy then he probably gonna end up making you sad Because a person like they say hurt people hurt people. So a person going nowhere Want to take you to nowhere with them a person doing nothing want to do nothing with you So You're gonna have to realize If this the ride you want to be on because of the blind leading the blind you're gonna end up in a ditch So you're gonna have to realize have I had enough have I seen enough? Have we done enough and do I need to move on? So that's what you got to realize Y'all got to forgive me somebody you didn't left my I bought my family a dog and I got a little treats in here And she be wanting me to chase her and all of that So she'd be coming to my office telling me to come on out here and play Uh Benton's god bless you now. Hey toni. I wanted to send you and the queen some face masks happy mother's day to her We we need you in this socially. How do I know where to send them? Um benton we already got face masks and the way I'm built Because I'm out here voice working against the the system of divorce and all of those things I never know When the powers that be gonna try to get me up out of here So I really don't accept food and items from people because I never know who A person working from or working for you know send me a mask You know in my mind, it's like somebody send me a mask with some strict nine in it and I put it on my face And if they know I You see what I mean, so I really don't I appreciate it. I appreciate the thought but I like to I go to the store and buy my mask. You see what I'm saying Ain't nothing against you, but I just When you out here and you see what happened to marlitha king and mouth of mex and You know people who had a voice and you trying to up in the system By bringing real love and union you just be a little bit more on edge About what's out there? You know and you got to be kind of strict like that across the board because you drop your guard one time and somebody Who don't like you got some against you? They at your throat My guy likes to argue says i'm very opinionated Three months in I just listen and let him vent. He's not cussing on name calling. I'm 40. He's 53 I think he may be used to drama. It's just convo to me Uh, well see the problem with it is is he too old for you You 40 he 53 so he think he your daddy He's trying to re-raise you see he's trying to raise you because he's 13 years older than you So he's looking at it like child hush. You don't know what you're talking about I've been around here long enough to be your daddy and you trying to argue with me You trying to tell me something child be quiet. Let me teach you this. Let me tell you what this is about And so that's the issue is that you know, you day not your age range But now it'll be it'll be men in your age range that'll do the same thing That lets you know. Yes that a man is just patty is his way of the highway And he is not he does not have emotional intelligence and he really not fit to lead. He's still immature Hey tonic have you dealt with failure? Did you ever try something that didn't work out? How do you bounce back? You oughta dealt with failure not to try things that didn't work out probably several several things But to be honest with you, I just don't process it. You know, I don't process failure I don't I don't see it as failure. I see everything as a lesson I see everything as a step towards the the ultimate goal I see everything is that if it happened it's meant to happen. So what can I learn from it? I don't look at it like, you know Failure I answer the question from him for for $20. So Joel probably went on there yet But I answer him question for that $20 But I you know, I I say I've never failed because I just don't call it failure. You know, I call it a lesson I call it growth. I just see it differently. I say, okay, that that didn't go the way I want it to go Let me try next plan B You know, which is now the plan A Cherise God bless your happy mother's day to miss gas. Hey y'all I got about What I got about 23 minutes on here now Okay, yeah, I'm all right. Thank you. I was starting to think maybe you sent two questions, but yeah, I answered him question Hey, Tony X slash son father said he will Keep going back and forth to court until our son is of age when he no longer needs To pay child support. Okay, let him do that. You know, let him do that He he fighting a futile battle and he's draining himself Don't let it drain you just go on in there And do what you got to do keep winning keep winning your cases and just let him be petty And he'll pay for that, you know life will repay him Hey, Tony, I will be adding myself to my mentor. What are your thoughts about coaching on life slash work balance organizational skills? That's really good. That's really good. A lot of people need that. That's a that's a good niche to be in How do you work with a man who belittles women? You don't work with them. You don't work with them You don't let nobody disrespect you anybody disrespecting you You got to get up out that situation. Either you don't have to get them in trouble If you are on a job to where they got to stop because they didn't got told on Or you got to remove yourself from that situation Do you have an idea about little signs that a man doesn't want you even though you are in a relationship? This is what you got to realize angelica About a man is that if a man wants you Won't nobody be able to convince you that he doesn't So when you have to worry about if a man wants you or not when you got to ask he that's something that your heart gonna feel That's something your heart gonna feel. So what you have to realize about that is If he wants you you won't have to ask a soul if he wants you you will know right then When he wants you and anytime your heart starts to wonder the the answer is no because he love either is or it isn't Remember ain't no in between love So when when it's real you're gonna know it you're gonna know it without a shadow of a doubt Anybody gonna be able to tell you otherwise Okay court now. I see what you're saying his exes are white. So i'm not his type Hence him never flirting, but I don't understand why he still calls me Don't flirt or do anything. So how does him talking to me daily benefit? He could be learning He could be learning they be honest with you sometimes a man who grew up around a certain group of people He's more comfortable with them Than you So from you he could be learning like let me test my theories. Let me test my Ideas about women who look like her. Let me see if this is real Let me see if what I think about women like her is true And so it's really a lot of time men dealing with women just to learn You know just to test something out Hey, mental god bless you now. I appreciate you for understanding. Okay. I seen charise blessing And geo geo they left your blessing up there non geo gay night yet now You see when you get that blessing like what geo gay? They leave that up there Mother toni, what are your thoughts about pre numbs? Thank you Me personally, I really don't do it. I really didn't you know It's not something that I would do If I'm marrying a person that mean I trust you with my life That mean that it's until death do us part if I don't think I could be with you until death then I'm not gonna marry you If and if I feel like Something could happen without me knowing I just see it as money So it's like if you took the chance on me and I took the chance on you if we happen to go our separate ways then And splitting 50 50. Okay, cool If I got a hunter and I lose 50 I get 50 back So me I don't worry about pre-nump because that's like turning the marriage into a business And to be honest with you in most cases That's really the the death stamp on marriages In most cases me being a relationship coach that do this every day and coaching celebrities When the pre-nump paperwork come out, that's when everything changed That's when stuff go left. Everything goes sour from there. Even if they go ahead and get married A lot of the time they break up after that because now you're trying to do a business deal See marriage, it should be about love when you're bringing lawyers into love Lawyers they buy business. They're not about love. So now you finna do a business deal And a person who genuinely is a lover It just don't feel right doing a contractual negotiation To give to go into love But of course people with hundreds of millions of dollars, they're gonna do it or millions of dollars They're gonna do it just because they don't know They don't know If a person's with them for them or with them for their money Oh three god bless you now bless you been dating someone since october long distance. He just Told me the other day he got another woman pregnant and she's due july She's 23. Why did he wait until two months before the child is due to tell me known him since 14 I'm 35. He's 40 Well, he waited just out of fear just not knowing how to tell you, you know y'all What y'all got to realize about men is men struggle the most with communication men struggle the most That's why men struggle with approaching a woman men struggle with approaching a woman men struggle with communication Men struggle with telling you good news men struggle with telling you bad news Because men are actually very sensitive to your response A man really does not want to be rejected a man really does not want to experience failure in the relationship A man really does not want to own up to his mistakes and what he's done wrong A lot of men want to do the crime and not do the time a lot of men want to you know Commit the offense and then not have to pay the price want to cheat and not be left So see men get in the place of trying to escape Consequences and so that's why he waited so long to tell you because He didn't know how he was going to express this and explain this because he knows what he did is stupid He knows that what he did makes absolutely no sense So now he got to look you in the face and look himself in the mirror and say I'm stupid why in the world Am I with this woman dating her and then sleeping with this other woman? So I'm sleeping with both of these women unprotected if he's sleeping with you unprotected if not I'm leading this woman on sleeping with this woman unprotected Then give her pregnant, but yet still dating this woman. Why did I do that? I'm stupid and he just does not want to come to the realization and have to face the music of being stupid Being immature being ignorant being a grown boy. So he's trying to avoid that consequence Sarah god bless you. How do you reject the guy after a month of talking and going on dates? He's very sweet Um, you won't have to tell him in in the best way possible So what you what I would do if I were you is I would tell him over the phone And just say hey, you know, I wanted to talk to you because I just I don't want to waste your time and I don't want to waste my time I just feel like you're an amazing person. You're very very sweet, but it's just not really a fit And it's just unfair to you for us to drag this out If I know in my heart that I'm not ready for what we're trying to build So now you put it on there like that For one, he may not try to hear you to it may make him try harder But three you got to make sure that you know that you know that you want to walk and get away out of this because If you tell that man You don't want him And then he decided that he's gonna make you want him And then he ended up getting you in six months You might pay a Price you might pay a mighty price because now it's gonna be i'ma get you and it's gonna be from a place of resentment Not not love. So you got to be very careful about that You got to be very careful Hey coach my 40 year old husband has never known his biological father since we've been together He has differed he has suffered so much loss. He seems very bitter and moody all the time How can I soften his heart? um All you could do is love him, you know, it ain't a way you could stroke his feet and in a way you could sing on the microphone All you could do is have non judgmental love But what that but understand that does not mean be a floor mat That does not mean let him take out his pain on you That does not mean let him yell at you curse at you disrespect you cheat on you You still got to hold him accountable. You still got to have standards You still got to make him live up to those standards and what you got to realize is that It ain't your place to fix a man So if he don't want to grow and he don't want to change and your accountability does not inspire him to grow and to change That lets you know He's unfixable by you and you got to move on with your life So understand that something you got to put in the Lord hands, you know, you're not going to be able to do it all Stephanie God bless you now. Is it okay to spend money on someone you're talking to but not in a relationship with? Uh, no, it's not okay. Stephanie. It's not okay um Anytime a woman spending money on a man He a man is a provider by nature a man is the leader by nature So when you taking you up in that you invert that now you given to him It throws off the natural progression of things And it'll confuse that man and it'll make him put you in a box says, oh You a do-girl. Oh, okay. You like the splurge. Okay. You want to buy me? So now it'll make him see you As the opposite of a queen because see a queen She's gonna be elegant. She's gonna be respectful. She's gonna have standards But she's gonna require that this man show and prove When you go to buying and spending money a man gonna look at you a real man He gonna look at you like, hold on. What's she doing now? She don't realize that she the prize that i'm supposed to be working for her And then after I don't work for her after I don't want her heart Then she could really reciprocate but she's given and I ain't even done nothing to receive it I mean to to deserve it Ronessa. God bless you now. God bless you Humble traveler bless you not only I am praying for you and your family I actually liked the question earlier besides the need for Respect and intimacy. What are some? Like the question earlier besides the need for respect and intimacy. What are some of the other? love needs of a man To be honest with you when you say respect And you say intimacy That encompasses everything That encompasses everything to be honest with you. It ain't really nothing outside of that You know any way you any way you look at it if you if you cook and if you clean and if you You know, what else can you do? The number one thing that a real man needs is respect If you're not yelling at him if you're not cursing at him, he don't even need you to cook Don't need you to cook don't need you to clean a real man. Don't even need that So a man needs respect because when you respect him That's that's love to him When you respect the man, you're not yelling at him. You're not cursing at him You're not calling him out of his name. You're not being condescending You're not trying to make him look bad. You're not trying to make him look stupid in public You know, you're not being demeaning to him in public or in private That right there that puts a man on cloud nine Because the world has had tried to strip him of his manhood of his ego of his self-love his self-respect All his life making him feel less than So when you take and you show him That you respect him you're doing enough You're doing enough and that that to a man is love. That's why the good books say wives husbands love your wives and wives respect your husbands Because to a man respect is love and in intimacy A man really only expects that when you are his woman when he has won your heart Now he may ask for it before he's won your heart But really he don't really expect it if you give it to him he'll accept it, but he don't really expect it Extra God bless you while waiting five months five more months to see if it's real. What book or video do you advise? You need to read all love you got five months. So read a woman's influence Read make it work and then read misses right And between those you're going to get the knowledge that you need Hi Tony can a married man purchase a home with his new girlfriend in a different state if his divorce isn't final And he has already purchased a home with his wife Now he could do what he wanted to do You know he could do what he wanted to do is that smart or the girlfriend? No, it's not smart or the girlfriend because she'll end up standing girlfriend He'll end up working it out with his wife not in divorce his wife And now you got the girlfriend in another state that he's traveling on business And then he got a wife over here that he working it out with so It's stupid on the girlfriend behalf You know You should never as a woman put yourself In that position let a man get all the way out of his marriage And then let him heal New day to see God blessing. I ain't even see that I ain't even see that let me let me scroll through here make sure I ain't miss it right now Yeah, now I'm gonna see I'm gonna see what my phone battery is doing on me X and I trying to work things out. We are listening to your videos But he's having a hard time because he thinks some things that you say do not apply to all men thoughts um it uh Uh-oh my phone got 20 left what I got I got seven minutes left Um No, that ain't why he's having a hard time. He's having a hard time because a lot of what I'm saying stepping on his toes You actually happy when you listen into a video and it ain't talking about you When you got a problem with it, that's what your toes getting stepped on and he's trying to make you think It ain't talking about him. But if a man listened to a video and it ain't about him, he's like Hey, I'll do it good. He talked about me Shoot up to a good But when he's sitting over there, man, you know, you know, I understand you like listen to this guy, but He's just one man and the stuff he's talking about is not all men Like he's just generalizing. He's just putting this on all men That's when you know, he guilty That's when you know a man guilty because when a man is doing the right thing, he's gonna be like Hey, yeah, let's listen to this video Yeah, you see what he said. You see what he said, you see you see what I do You see what he said. Okay. You see he talking about grown boys, don't you? So what that made me a grown man because do I do that? All right, then. All right. All right. Let's keep listening Now. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm Well, he hit me see I told you That's how a man gonna be when he's when he's not guilty when he guilty He finified any excuse in the world to get off these videos Oh man, I'm gonna stomp my toe. Oh man. Oh, I was trying to listen man. I hurt my toe. Oh, I can't Oh, I gotta go. Oh, I mean, he gonna fake hemorrhoids. He gonna fake migraine He gonna say I offended him because his grandma passed away and I said grandmother wrong way He gonna come with any excuse he can to get up out of this hot kitchen But when he living right He's gonna be sending you the videos. Hey, listen to this In god bless you Tony can you make a video on how to differentiate between a man who wants a serious committed relationship and one that says they do But really are just interested in casual dating in um Yeah, I probably can make a video on that but Um, I think I got a video called how to know he's interested in you watch that Watch that video that probably already I probably could do a update let me write that down But this is what you got to understand Then what you got to understand It's kind of like this right here I'm laying in the bed today. You know, I was tired My wife come in there and she say oh, you know, we got this drive through birthday party You know where you drive through with social distancing and then got this other stuff got to drop off The drive through birthday party a 50 minute drive away The other house we got to go to is a 80 minute drive away. I'm tired Okay, I got to work today like what I'm doing right here. I got to serve my audience So I'm tired. I just woke up and she's getting ready to go But she got a little headache because she's been up early to take my son to do his workout on the beach saying So I get some I canceled my work this morning. I normally go live on here at noon. I cancel that live and I drive That right there. So we was gone from Noon to five that's five hours So I miss my noon live. I say I was going to try to go at 4 p.m Missed the 4 p.m. Live missed two lives to drive my wife While I'm driving my wife Her head not feeling good So I start I'm driving with one hand and massaging her neck with the other hand and I'm squeezing. I'm pulling down I'm trying to pull that tension from her head Out of her neck. I'm trying to release that tension and she said whatever you're doing is making me feel better Whatever you're doing is making me feel better. So you see what I'm saying Then I go I find a starbucks because she'd need her ice caramel macchiata I find a starbucks. I find something to eat. She needed. She wanted something to eat Find a starbucks find a son to eat and I'm massaging her neck Okay, then after that we got to make a few most stops she need to make So I'm driving to the old places driving to the old places and I went solely to so I could sit in the car With our sons while she go in the store You see what I'm saying when a man really about you He's going to put you before him He's going to sacrifice his wants and needs To show you that he's about you And so when a man about you And I just and I said this earlier on this same video when a man is about you You won't have to ask a soul You won't have to ask a soul When you have to ask somebody This is what this man does. Do you think he loves me? The answer is no The answer is no. He don't love you Because love is undeniable Stephanie God bless you now. God bless you Stephanie. Poor and unliked. I'm poor and unliked Thank you nephew tone. I'm grateful for all your wisdom. I am taking your birthday book course I'm writing a book on quotes any advice. I love the woman's influence this gift It's for your queen for mother's day lord Thought I had milk blessing. Hey, I'm gonna send this to my wife. Hey, I'm I'm gonna look on here For mother's day because I could have been with her today tomorrow mother's day. So I ain't gonna do no live tomorrow. So um The blessing y'all sent me tonight When I get off here, I'm gonna see what y'all sent. I'm gonna give it to my wife Now you two take 30% of this And that's what I told her last time y'all gave her some blessings. She was like, uh, uh, uh, okay You gotta count that as a business expense and send me the whole total Okay, and you two take your 30% somewhere else. You two take 30% of what y'all was saying Now when y'all bless me on that cash out, I really appreciate that and even though i'm gonna be asking for caramel kisses Gave y'all my cash out and I really thank you for that caramel kisses But that right there that's a hundred percent. So I gave that to my wife This gift is for you and your queen for mother's day. You have changed my life. God bless you and your family Hey, god bless you Tony someone asked if men ever sit back and reflect on things do they Yeah, men do Men sit back and men reflect on things and men, you know, think about some men will say, oh, that's the one that got away Some men will say, oh, I let that woman get away. Oh that woman You know, I she really loved me. Some men realize later Does he necessarily regret it? Not really because that's where he was. That's who he was So he understood he understands that that was you know, he's on progression in his life He's on a path in his life and that he maybe was not ready to receive her anyways. So does he regret it Not necessarily, but does he recognize it? Yes, he recognized when he took a good woman For granted, but at the same time now all women are not created equal All men are not created equal what I mean by that is you create it equal But we don't behave equally But what I've noticed as a man what I've noticed is that If a man will love a woman It's many many women that could be a wife She may not be the same level or caliber of a wife So it's one woman who she cool with threesome. She she'll stay with you if you get cheated on And it's another woman who she won't stay with you if you cheat on her And she won't be cool with threesome and and all of this But both of them women could be a wife both of them love But one knows how to love herself And one has been taught to hate herself and to put up with stuff that she shouldn't be putting up with But both of them women could be a wife But the man it depends on what type of man he is So if this man wants a woman that doesn't love herself Then he gonna stay with this woman right here and may not ever marry her And that woman may compromise that desire in her heart And then this woman over here gonna say if you're gonna be with me We got to get married at a certain time And if the man wants marriage then he gonna go with this woman because he wants a woman Who knows and loves herself So men realize when he had a good woman And he messed up on her he realizes it But does that mean he want to be with her? No Because he may not have a desire to be a good man Hey when my battery go to 10% I'm gonna let y'all know now Is it a red flag when a god tells you You don't bring enough to the table when y'all get into an argument Yeah, that's a red flag. He letting you know that's how he really feel about you When you get in the argument, that's when a man gonna let you know how he really feel about you But if he's with you Then it's like well if I don't bring enough to the table why are you sitting at the table with me? So a lot of times a man don't even require all that he telling you you need to bring to the table He don't even require that But because he upset because he angry he gonna say that to take a shot at you because he knows Human nature when somebody take a shot at you you feel inadequate So a lot of times a man will say that to make you feel inadequate And so that's what you got to realize on that situation now All right. Now my phone about to die Okay, starfish. I see you question about the video. All right You know post that thing 90 times. I can't even see no another question It helps starfish and post that question 90 times I'm trying to see another question How can I get my husband to talk about our marriage being we are separated right now? He hates to be told his actions are about his anger Are extreme You can't get your husband to talk about your marriage If he don't want to talk about your marriage So when he don't want to talk about your marriage and y'all separated That's a sign that your marriage is over So now you beating a dead horse. Okay You up there sitting on the horse back and you know Like this hill But the horse them went on the horse heaven the horse them went on to meet the lord So what you got to do is get on off and give us this proper burial service and go on about your life So you want to try to get him to talk but like they say that's like trying to get blood out of turnip And so you're gonna have to realize when something has ran his course Mills, thank you for answering my question. God bless you. Hey bless you Now I normally do two of these on saturday ain't gonna be able to do that tonight couple one more phone about to die Uh, when they tell me at 10 i got the gold And then two i'm gonna be watching the UFC tonight So i ain't gonna do another one tonight then i ain't gonna do one tomorrow because it's mother's day Tony what is the best way to deal with fresh heartache? You're gonna have to get new knowledge the more you get this knowledge in you The more confident you're gonna be I have a guy that says he doesn't need me and he and he could Care less about my money, but at the same time want to know how much my taxes was Is that being too secretive being we not even married yet? No, that's not being too secretive and he worried about the wrong thing if he taking shots at your dinner the next Senate's want to know your business You're dealing with a wrong boy Why can't men and women be friends at first before getting into a relationship? You can and you should The key is that you know if y'all are together if y'all talking with the romantic interests So it's not saying that you get in relationship on the first day But what you need to know is are you looking to be with somebody? I'm looking to be with somebody If he says he's not looking to be with somebody then you wasting your time being friends But if he approaches you because he's looking for his wife Then it's okay with y'all being friends And you should be friends before getting into a relationship But you have to know that y'all both are looking for a relationship The issue is when you're trying to be platonic friends meaning that there's no romantic interests And then you want to go from platonic friends to an intimate relationship That's where the issues arise. You got to know that what y'all in it for Was getting to know a 40 year old. Hey, that's my last question now Was getting to know a 40 year old Man who expressed interest in me But his actions don't match No in-depth convo and he pops in and out via text. I cut him off three times, but he still reaches out Well, he reaching out because he could you available? So if he reaching out and you not responding then that don't matter But if he reaching out and you responding Then that's the issue Hey now, uh, coach chris. I see this here question But I don't see the question before that so I can't really put them together because the way the chat worked I can't really put that together Hey, I sure appreciate y'all for working with me. I'ma tell you now. I've been tired lately. I've been tired I've been tired because you know, I've been coaching. I've been coaching You know four people a day and then after I'm coaching I'm doing out. I'm doing an hour long video Then I got to read the comments to get the next question for tomorrow's video And so that's been a love, you know It's tough for me I just turned the chat off for there so I could only got a few more minutes here for my phone died So I've been tired lately now and I'ma tell you They've been talking about the youtube and how you burnt that And I came to the point one day. I said, you know what lord is so much more in me that I can give I need to give that so I need to do more videos and get everything out of me because you never know when you win Your last day and I didn't come on here, but it is tough now Okay, 10 10% left. I got to get going. It is tough when you dealing with all this hill energy I got an email from youtube today And it told me that I got in the last 28 days, you know over 40,000 comments I read now about every comment. So I'm like man, you mean tell me I don't read or 40,000 comments in 28 days And I was like So you could imagine when you dealing with Everybody issues and then people want to argue and debate People want to call your names. It could get a little draining now. It can't get draining So I've been trying to space this thing out, you know Do more days because you come in and you know, you go hard But then you got to find your balance you got to find your balance So you keep your sanity and so because if I go to getting tired, then I'm gonna go to getting snappy If I go to getting snappy that mean I ain't operating from a place of love and I'm not answering questions from a place of love So I have to pray for Patience and wisdom and humility before I do these lies before I do my videos Because you know every single day you might be seeing the question for the first time And so to address that some people were saying hey, Tony Some of the moderators was getting ruled In the chat. Well, what you got to realize is everybody ain't called to do what I do So for some people they come here and they don't every single live like caramel kisses share They don't every single live and they see me answer the same questions over and over and over and over So they get to see at that point what I go through They like man, what in the world these women asking the same questions He then did 10 videos on this Why y'all asking the same question? So they start seeing that And so they may kind of answer a question and it may come off like they're being harsh But really they just saying like listen. Hey, we talked about this yesterday. Hey, it's a video here And so that's why I had to be mindful of coming from a place of love So do this go on my videos and when you click On my page and you click oldest it'll take you back To them old video the video without that red line. That means you didn't watch it Watch that video get that insight in you and you may have to watch it two or three times And the last thing what I'm gonna tell y'all is some of y'all been writing me I guess you knew about youtube ads listen Okay I run businesses in my life and so I'm not a youtuber what I mean by that is You will see that I don't do new day. God bless you. Yeah, I'm demar mother day So I'm off the mar anyway So I ain't doing a sunday sermon or I might shoot my sunday sermon tonight and just have it scheduled to go out tomorrow But it's no rest for the weary You know what I mean when you call to be a servant of God You're gonna have to work when you tired because the mar ain't promise That's why Jesus he worked on all the days and they say Jesus. Why you working on the Sabbath? He was like, hold on is my father in heaven Hey, I got to work if I lost a sheep today I got to go if a if a shepherd loses sheep on sunday You want him to not go find his sheep? No, he's going to find his sheep That's what Jesus told him. So I say really I really don't get no days off But I do find time to rest me and my wife do a date every single day But I was about to say son. Oh Y'all been talking to me about youtube ads What you got to realize is I'm not a youtuber. So I don't know. I don't edit these videos. I shoot it. I'm on my cell phone I shoot it on the cell phone. I upload it from the cell phone YouTube put the ads on there I don't put the ads on there. And so what you got to realize that just the cost of doing business I you notice I don't have Tags keywords. I don't have thumbnails I'm doing this just as Another operation in my gift to be a blessing to people But I can't turn this into no job. I hear youtube was talking about it taking them eight hours to do a video That's a youtuber. Okay. I got 11 companies and I got a wife and two kids. So I don't be on here trying to Okay, move this ad here do this do that do all that listen. I'm gonna shoot the video put it up If if you don't like to ask youtube got a thing called youtube premium Or you could hit skip But I just want you all to know that that ain't me putting that that's an automated system And it do what it do and I'm not finna pay nobody either to manage it because then there'll be the hijacked it and Install it But hey, God bless y'all. I know a lot of people got to go saturday night. I got to go too. So we'll talk soon