It is not a unique story. It is the story of a man in Idaho with his firstborn daughter on the way, who can't forgive himself for demoralizing another's man's daughter on the screen. It is the story of a teenager in Kentucky, whose shame becomes cyclical and deeper, as child pornography won't satisfy his fix anymore. It is the story of a young woman in New England, whose boyfriend is willing to compromise with a "softer version" of his addiction, as if a dull knife repeatedly stabbed into her heart were less damaging. It is the story of a pastor in California who led his wife to watch the movies with him. It is the story of a girl in the Southwest whose sister's preferences changed in response to rape at the hand of her brother. It is the story of a woman who cuts to cover up her pornography addiction that she in turn uses to cover up molestation at the hand of her parents. It is the story of a wife who vomits up every meal because her husband won't stay in the bed when she falls asleep at night.
It is the story of a high schooler in Albuquerque, New Mexico who would stand with middle fingers lifted to his reflection in the mirror, convinced that hell was my destiny. It is my story. But it is not my identity.
For a long time, I sought to relive the shame that I'd experienced during every performance, so that everyone could see my remorse effectively, as though the cross of Christ only took a portion of the baggage labeled "porn addict," and left me wondering whether I could believe in Christ's call to repentance - hoping forgiveness could be as real to me as were my promises to others that we are new creations at the cross.
We are not our failures. You are not your shame. At the cross, Jesus scorned shame and became sin so that we might become the righteousness of God. Your definition comes from the God-man who concluded, "It is finished!" as he died to purchase your perfection before the throne of God.
Porn holds no power before that throne. It is my prayer that Jesus Christ would become your deepest desire, so that all other lesser pleasures pale and disappear in comparison to his majesty. We are not saved and sanctified by our checklists. We get to be obedient because we already stand as sons and daughters loved, forgiven, and justified by our Dad.
When God looks at you, Christian, he sees: Jesus.
For more on this topic, as well as practical thoughts on walking in obedience, see: http://levithepoet.net/porn
For anyone - abusers and abused, perpetrators and victims, consumers and producers - I love you, and so does Jesus. Please check out the following resources:
Don't Buy Girls: http://facebook.com/donotbuygirls
The Porn Path: http://bit.ly/yAJ1Lw
Rid Of My Disgrace by Justin & Lindsey Holcomb: http://bit.ly/yfyCuy
Unearthed Pictures: http://www.unearthedpictures.org/
For more information regarding Levi The Poet, including store, press, booking and tour schedule, please see the following:
For booking inquiries (speaking / performance / etc) please email: firstname.lastname@example.org
All Levi The Poet merchandise can be found at http://levithepoet.net/store. Albums also available on iTunes, Bandcamp, and digital distrobution sites everywhere. If you would like to receive the record as a gift, and / or support Levi The Poet via tax-deductible donation, you can get Seasons through Come&Live! as well.
For the honor and the glory of the one for whom and by whom all things exist,