 Folks, we are in for a treat today. This sort of unintentional comedy, it just doesn't come around that often. You know? I do this both as a hobby and I also share it with the world. Like I look for really bad books because they're funny. But rarely do I find books that are this bad in such a fun way. Like you know, I find plenty of awful books out there, believe me. And I try to make entertainment out of them even if the books themselves are boring, you know? Like it's not fun and it's not really interesting criticism to just say, this is boring. You know, it doesn't lead to anything, it doesn't help anyone get better at it, it's not fun to watch someone just go, yeah, this is kind of boring, I wasn't into it, and this other part was kind of boring, I wasn't into it. That's just not fun. It's great to look at all the ways in which these sorts of stories are nonsensical and how the characters are just jerks, but the series doesn't treat them like they're jerks, you know? And that sort of thing is entertaining and maybe it can help other people with their own writing or their own artistic endeavors of any kind. It's also just fun to watch them go freaking nuts because a lot of these stories just do go absolutely nuts. Also a while ago I got a comment telling me I should always shave because I look disgusting with my hair like this so I'm leaving it this way just to spite them. And also there's some up with my right eye right now so if I ever have it closed or I'm rubbing it a lot, that's why it's just bothering me. I don't know exactly why or even exactly when, but at some point young adult fantasy just went insane. Both the Twilight knockoffs of the late 2000s and the later stuff, which was just more traditional fantasy, they all just have so many details that lead me completely speechless. For example, in Throne of Glass, halfway through the series, it just becomes porn. Like actual porn, I don't know why, but it does. Or how in House of Night the main character's boyfriend is killed and then later her mom is killed and then the villain brings her boyfriend's soul back from the underworld and puts it into her mom's body to bring him back to life. Like that happens. Or how in Lightlark there's a weird plot twist about how the main character has her memory erased so that her boyfriend won't distract her during the whole series of events that I refuse to call it a story, but the whole series of events that go down in the book, but then the two of them immediately start finger-banging so he's still distracting her. Like that is why so many of my super long in-depth reviews in this style are young adult fantasy. It is a genre that is just so often bad in hilarious ways. Evermore is a series that is around 50% insane shit like that and the other 50% is, well, it's a lot less enjoyable. So yes, as you can see I have finished reading Evermore. I read all six books and oh man, this is a lot. You can see all the notes I took there, there's a lot, there's a lot. And actually the series is called The Immortals but Evermore is the first book and more people seem to refer to it by that title so that's just what I'm going to be calling it. Evermore is a paranormal young adult romance series that began publication in 2009 and it was written by Allison Noelle. At least I think that's how you pronounce it. Like in Noelle there's an oom loud over the E. I've never seen that in my life. I'm just going to call her Allison Noelle. I apologize if that's not how you say it. Now Evermore the book series should not be confused with Evermore the theme park. Also not to be confused with Evermore the Taylor Swift album. Also not to be confused with Evermore the song from the 2017 live action Beauty and the Beast remake. It should also not be confused with Nevermore which is one of the maximum ride novels that was published in 2012. Also not to be confused with Nevermore which is a different series of paranormal young adult romance novels that began publication in 2010. It should also not be confused with Evernight which is a different series of paranormal young adult romance novels that began publication in 2008. And that one should not be confused with Nevernight which is a fantasy novel that was published in 2016 and written by Jay Asher. I hope that all makes sense. Evermore is about a teenage girl whose name is Everbloom which is... Ah, it's an amazing name by the way. I just... I don't know why young adult characters have such weird names but Everbloom that's amazing. And her family before the events of the series has recently died and now she can read people's minds. Then she meets a boy named Damon Auguste, again, amazing name, and she is instantly in love with him. And it turns out that Damon is an immortal and Ever is his girlfriend from past lives who keeps dying and then reincarnating before they can be together. Like this has happened several times by the time the story begins. And if that sounds familiar, that's because there are multiple other series with this exact setup and not only that, there are multiple other series with this exact setup that I have covered on my channel. So after all that comes to light, Adventure follows with Damon and Ever trying to fix whatever has them trapped in this vicious cycle. And I mean, I say adventure but there isn't a whole lot of adventure here. There is not a single main antagonist in this series nor is there any sort of really focused conflict. There's a couple of different story arcs but they're all weirdly disconnected from one another. Like, I mean, they don't feel like they add to each other or like they build on one another or anything like that. Like, even when villains are defeated, it doesn't feel like there's a sense of forward momentum at all. You know, it doesn't feel like the world has changed. It doesn't feel like the characters have changed. It doesn't feel like we've really learned anything new. It just feels like the villains are gone now. The biggest conflict in this series and some of you are going to think that I am joking when I say this. But I swear to God, this is real. The biggest conflict in this series is that Ever and Damon can't have sex. Like, there are sometimes other threats to their relationship but nothing bigger than just they can't have sex for reasons we'll get into later. Like, there's no other bigger threats to them, their lives, their relationships, their friends or the whole world at large or anything. Like, that is the biggest conflict in this series. Oh my God. At first, I kind of liked that this wasn't a story all about how they had to save the world while also being in love and constantly focusing on each other instead of focusing on saving the world because it was at least a little bit different than other entries in this genre of which I've read a shameful amount like, God, I'm a 26-year-old man. Why am I doing this? At first, I was fine with this because it was just a little bit different but it got old. I mean, you saw how long those six books are when you put them together. Like, it just really drags on, you know what I mean? And while I did love the first few books because the first few books are just so silly but they take themselves 100% seriously and it's great but the magic does wear thin after a while. Like, I think if this series had been three or four books long instead of six books long, I think it genuinely would have been one of my favorite bad book series that I've ever read because if you took all the same major plot beats and just condensed them and cut out a lot of the more boring bits that feel stretched out, I think this would have been amazing. But six books is, it is hard to get through. Now, so much of what happens in these books is very similar to other entries in the genre of teen girl discovers and falls in love with a supernatural boy, including having a lot of really boring parts in there where not much happens and we're just kind of sucked into drama which isn't that great because we don't care about the characters and the stakes aren't that high. And honestly, at times it comes across as a parody. Like, I genuinely felt at a few points, at least in the first book, that this might be a parody of the genre and it just... I don't know how to explain it right off the bat, like we'll have to go into more detail as we go through the summary and everything. But it feels like it was written by someone who was forced to do to do so and just hates doing it. And they just resent everyone who reads these books because it's because of them that they're forced to do this. Like, it only feels like that for a few fleeting bits though and outside of that it feels like it's 100% seriously. It also kind of feels like a parody because almost all of the characters are really really awful people but they're treated as if they're nice. And again, at first it seemed like okay, maybe the author is making a point about the types of stories that are being told in this genre and the type of character archetypes that are there. But no, I really don't think that was it. Like, some parts of this series are just genuinely really aggravating and really hard to get through because of that. However, in spite of the story being really really stretched out, like I said, you know, it's three or four books of content stretched out to six. It just gets nuttier as it goes on. Like, more and more crazy stuff continues happening until the very end. So I am happy with that at least. So I guess that's about it for the introduction. So let's get started on book one ever more and be aware there are spoilers ahead. So if you don't want to see that then leave now. So we start with a page explaining the different colors of aura and what they mean. Like, you know, if someone's aura is red, then that represents anger, sexuality, passion, fear, ego, and then there's like orange, yellow, green, violet and so on and so forth. Like it just explains all that in this handy little chart right at the beginning of the book. And you might think that that's important somehow. Like maybe it ties into the magic system or the world building or anything really. And it doesn't, it's not at all important. Once we learn about the magic in this world, it's really based more on the seven chakras, which are, that's a thing from Hinduism. Basically chakras are like points on your body that you focus on. And they're also based on emotion. Like some of them is like truthfulness. And okay, I'm vastly oversimplifying, but that is the basic idea behind it. And like that's more what the magic is based around. And I don't know, having this at the beginning makes it feel like the author originally wanted there to be aura-based magic in this, but then she changed her mind and then they just didn't bother fixing it in editing. So page one, the actual story, begins thusly. Guess who? Haven's warm, clammy palms press hard against my cheeks as the tarnished edge of her silver skull ring leaves a smudge on my skin. And even though my eyes are covered and closed, I know that her dyed black hair is parted in the middle. Her black vinyl corset is worn over a turtleneck, keeping in compliance with our school's dress code policy. Her brand new floor-sweeping black satin skirt already has a hole near the hem where she caught it with the toe of her Doc Martin's boots and her eyes appear gold, but that's only because she's wearing yellow contacts. I also know her dad isn't really away on business, like she said. Like he said, her mom's personal trainer is way more personal than trainer and her little brother broke her evanescence CV, but he's too afraid to tell her. But I don't know any of this from spying or peeking or even being told. I know because I'm psychic. So that is kind of a funny introduction. Like Haven is this weird awkward goth teen and we're kind of chuckling at how her life is a bit of a mess at this point. The problem is that this introduction tells us absolutely nothing about ever. Ever is our first person narrator. She is the protagonist. The entire story is through her eyes. And this beginning tells us that she's psychic, but that's it. You know, we learn about her powers a little bit, but we do not learn about her at all. Like we also get a long paragraph about Haven's appearance, which you don't need to be psychic to tell us about someone's appearance, but like okay, I guess that's fine. And then we also get a long bit about her life situation, which like as I said, is kind of a mess. So it's funny, but you also don't need to be psychic for that. We know nothing about ever and we know nothing about the situation that she's in. Now, after a few pages, we do learn about ever and we do see the situation that she's in and we learn about that. But the first thing that this book decides to focus on that it thinks will draw us in that we think is that it thinks is important is a character who is not important right now, but becomes important much later, doing things that are never important. Like learning that stuff about her life is never really that relevant. It's common to get a piece of advice that says start off your story with a bang and people often interpret that to mean start with an action scene, which not necessarily, I guess you could, but like that's usually not a great idea. But it doesn't mean start with an action scene, it means give us something interesting and important that will pique our interest. And just learning about this random teenage girl who has kind of a messed up life, but is not that interesting. And apparently we're only learning about this because this other teenage girl who we know literally nothing about is psychic. Like here's an idea on how to do something similar. Have ever walked through the halls of her school and she hears everyone's thoughts because again she's psychic. It introduces the concept of her being psychic and her reactions to it would tell us how she feels about it and therefore tell us about her. Is she scared? Is she tired? Is she annoyed? Like you could do a lot with this very simple idea. So after Haven and Ever split up, Ever goes to class and she monologues to the audience, which maybe that's not the correct term because she's not actually speaking, but the narration just talks directly to the audience for a bit about her life. It's a very clumsy introduction. It basically just says, yep, my family died and now I'm psychic. And it's a very, like I said, very clumsy introduction and I'm focusing on this so that you can get an idea of what reading this series is like. I mean almost every page is just annoying and difficult to get through because every page seriously feels like it was written by an amateur. And I know this seems like I'm nitpicking because I'm going on about it for a long time, but it's really not at all nitpicking. This is the basic foundation you need for writing a story. So basically her backstory, which again, she explains really quickly. She was a normal teenage girl and then there was a car crash and her whole family, which was her two parents and her younger sister, died along with their dog and Ever nearly died. She wound up being hospitalized for a while, but she did live. She did live and now she can read minds. And that is the end of chapter one. Like we just were shoved all that right in our faces right at the beginning and then it just moves on to something else. So then chapter two starts off with the teacher introducing a new student to the class and his name is Damon August and he gets to sit in the empty desk, which is right next to Ever. I gotta ask, was this a thing in other places? Like when a new student came into your class, did the teacher stand them up at the front and say, everyone I'd like to introduce you to such and such and they shall sit over there? Like that never happened to me. Like whenever new students appeared, they would usually just sort of appear sitting at a desk that used to be empty. Like they were just there and if we wanted to introduce ourselves we could. Damon is gorgeous. I know this without once looking up. I just focus on my book as he makes his way towards me since I know way too much about my classmates already. So as far as I'm concerned, an extra movement of ignorance, an extra moment of ignorance really is bliss. But according to the innermost thoughts of Stacia Miller sitting just two rows before me, Damon August is totally smoking hot. Her best friend, honor, completely agrees. So does honor's boyfriend, Craig. But that's a whole other story. Okay, that was kind of funny. Like funny on purpose. That did get a chuckle out of me. That whole bit about how Damon is obviously just so overwhelmingly hot and it's just dumb and it's annoying and it goes on for quite a while after that too. Like just, it can't just describe him as being beautiful. It has to constantly assure, no, no, this dude's super hot. Look at him. Look at him. He's so sexy. You think he's sexy, right? Right audience? Like it's just, you need to have some faith in your audience. Just describe them as hot and they will pick up on it. And then after class, it continues with a whole bunch of people talking to each other about how hot and cool Damon is. Like they don't know this guy at all. I don't know how they think he's cool, but whatever. They just constantly talk about that and the ones who are not talking about it are thinking about it so ever is hearing their thoughts. And then we meet her friends. We see Haven again, who we already know. And we also see Miles, who is, he's their gay friend and he is flamboyantly gay in a way that only the late 2000s could do. Like this was a time period where being gay was getting more and more accepted by most of American society. So people were not as hateful or derogatory as they used to be. But at the same time, we hadn't quite realized that they're just normal people yet. Oh my god, there he is, right directly next to us. Miles squeals in the high-pitched, sing-songy whisper he saves for life's most exciting moments. And check out that ride, shiny black BMW, extra dark tinted windows. Nice, very nice. Okay, so here's the deal. I'm going to open my door and accidentally bump it into his so that I'll have an excuse to talk to him. He turns, awaiting my consent. Yeah, that's uh, Miles is pretty much like that, the whole series. It's, it's mildly homophobic and I just, I had to mention it. But yeah, for about five pages here, they're just kind of swooning over how awesome Damon is. He's hot, he's mysterious, he has a nice car, and they've not said anything to him at all. We're just, the audience is just being told, yes, this guy, look at him, he's so hot and cool and mysterious. Like the reason people say show don't tell is, well it's kind of a critical shorthand for saying that I did not buy the emotions that this scene was trying to give me. You know, like if you just tell someone, this is supposed to make you angry, then you don't really feel angry. But if you show them something that makes them angry, then that makes them angry. You know, like that's how it works. And we're not being shown that Damon is cool and hot. We're just being told that everyone thinks he's cool and hot. He drives a very fancy expensive car, even though he's 17, which is not suspicious at all. You know, like if I saw someone driving like that, I would either assume their family was stupidly wealthy or that he was a drug dealer. Like there'd be no other explanation for it. And at this stage, this is when I started thinking it might be a parody. Like it genuinely seemed for a little bit that Allison Noelle might be making fun of the paranormal YA romance genre, or at least parts of it. Like this whole thing where everyone is so obsessed with Damon and everyone must constantly be talking to each other and the audience about how hot and cool he is, it's so exaggerated that like it has to be a joke, right? And after finishing, no, it's really not a joke. Damon is never ever portrayed as anything other than the best, most romantic, coolest, most handsomest guy ever. Now while watching him, ever notices that Damon has no aura. And apparently she sees everyone's aura, which is kind of the same as reading thoughts. You know, like look at the color and the size of it that tells you their basic emotional state. And I know I didn't mention this before, but that's because the book didn't mention it either. Like we've been talking about how she can read minds, but they've said nothing about seeing auras. Why didn't she see that he was missing his aura earlier? I don't know. She just apparently didn't notice that. Also, she can't read his mind, which she didn't notice until a little bit later either. The thing is, having mind reading here would be fine, and having her being able to see people's auras here would be fine. It's weird for them to both be there, because again, auras basically just tell someone's emotional state, so it is very similar to mind reading just with less detail. So it's, again, it's basically the same thing. So I don't know. And her being able to see people's auras is basically forgotten after the first book. Like it's forgotten before the end of the first book. Like again, it feels like the author wasn't sure which one she wanted to use. Like did she want ever to see auras after the car crash or to read minds after the car crash? Like, you know, this power that she suddenly cursed with. And eventually she decided on mind reading, but again, she never went back to remove all the stuff about auras. So it just feels strange and disjointed. So after school, ever goes home. And after her parents' death, she moved in with her aunt, who's name is Sabine. And brief moment to say that they never mentioned if Sabine was her dad's sister or her mom's sister. Like she was she was one of her parents' siblings, presumably, but we never find out which one. And I guess it's not super important, but it is a little weird. We also learned that before she lived in Eugene, Oregon, and now she lives in Orange County, California. Frankly, it might have been better if she died. It spends some time telling us about how wealthy her aunt is and just how fancy the house she lives in now. And then it goes into about how awful it is to live with her aunt. Like, you know, Sabine isn't cruel or abusive in any way. She's just distant. You know, there's no real familial love or connection there. And she clearly is unsure about how to raise a kid. Like they never specifically say it, but it seems like before her parents died, she had never met Sabine, or at least she had only met her a few times and didn't know her that well. Again, they never say it, but it seems like that's the case. And here's the thing, I totally get that. Like I get what they're going for. They're saying, okay, she has all these material possessions, but she doesn't feel any familial love for her aunt, and she feels like she lives in a stranger's house. Like I get the point they're going for, but it would probably hit harder if you didn't spend half a page describing how nice her room is and how she has her own TV and everything. Like imagine basically the same thing, except she just has a regular bedroom with like bare walls. You know, she hasn't decorated anything yet. She hasn't put up any posters or anything. She just has a bed with a plain comforter on it, and then she has a few open boxes or even boxes that haven't been opened yet of all her old stuff just sitting around because she hasn't bothered unpacking it yet. You know, that would tell us a lot more about, again, ever herself and she'll like, okay, yeah, she's clearly going through a very difficult time. She's very depressed right now, and it wouldn't seem at odds with all this opulence and wealth that she lives in. Anyways, we go straight from an explanation about all of that to an explanation about how her sister is a ghost now. That there is no transition. Like it's literally just describing her room and her relationship with Sabine and then straight to my sister Riley as a ghost. There's a several page long explanation about how Riley started appearing to her after her family died and at first she appeared to her in the hospital and she didn't talk or anything. She would just appear for a little bit and she'd see her and she thought she was hallucinating for a while, but she just kept coming back and kept interacting with her a little bit without talking so she was like, okay, I guess my sister is just a ghost now. She can also summon ghost paintings and stuff. Like when she wants to illustrate a point she can like summon objects and show them to ever and her powers are not expanded upon in any way but they're there. And then as soon as she arrives at Sabine's house and moves in, that's when Riley starts talking to her for real. Of course I can talk. Don't be ridiculous. She rolled her eyes. But the last few times I started I was just having a little fun. So shoot me. She stalked around my room running her hands over my desk fingering the new laptop and iPod Sabine must have placed there. Wow, Riley, I'm gonna be honest here. You're kind of a jerk. Like I get you're just messing with your older sister but maybe the appropriate time to do that is not after her entire family has been horrifically killed in a car accident which was also very traumatic for her physically and mentally. You know, maybe just don't do that. You're going to see a lot of other moments like that like moments of characters like good guy characters not villains just being jerks or being selfish or just being inconsiderate of other people for literally no reason at all. Like just they just they just do very mean terrible things throughout the entire series and they are never called out on it by the other characters or by the author or by anyone. Like they're all treated as if they're very nice normal people. It gets on my nerves after a while. Now no one other than ever can see Riley because again, she's a ghost and so sometimes she has fun with that. You know, like at a couple of points she sits in Miles' lap without his permission or his knowledge. So ever kind of sees her ghost sister and him sitting there at the same time but also that's sexual harassment. That's not cool Riley. I know she has an entire spin-off series which follows her but I'm not reading it. So ever goes to school again and she swoones over Damon some more and thinks about how awesome he is and then he touches her hand and all the thoughts of everyone else go quiet. Like she finally has silence in her head for the first time in months and after seeing him touch her hand everyone decides to think about how jealous they are and how awesome and hot Damon is and by proxy how awesome and hot ever must be because otherwise why else would he be interested in her? Like we have to be reassured that the main character is super special even when she has almost zero personality. By the time I make it to our lunch table Haven and Miles are already there and when I see Damon sitting beside them I'm tempted to run the other way. You're free to join us but only if you promise not to stare at the new kid. Miles laughs. Staring is very rude. Didn't anyone ever tell you that? I roll my eyes and slide onto the bench beside him determined to show just how blasé about I am about Damon's presence. I was raised by wolves. What can I say? Every time I hear about these kids I just want to go into the world of this book so that I can bully them at school. So they eat lunch and they continue their school life and nothing unusual or interesting happens. Like there's no mystery that's really introduced there's no dangerous situations that Damon saves her from there's nothing weird happening that they're wondering about just they're just going to school. It's like a terrible slice of life anime with a character who just happens to read minds and see auras and also has a ghost sister. The beginning of this book is both really weird and really really boring for that exact reason. So we get another long sequence wherever just tells us all about her friend Haven and I mean again we already started off the book with a whole long explanation of her life but we must have an even longer one now. And basically the gist of it is that her parents are super wealthy but they don't pay attention to her so she acts weird to get attention from other people. Like they specifically mention one of the things she does for attention as well is that she has pretended to be a drug addict so that she can go to meetings and talk to people. And I'll be honest that is a shitty thing to do but she's also a kid who's going through some difficult times mentally so I'm a little more forgiving of it but still it's never brought up again after this and I feel the need to mention that it's a shitty thing to do. And right now they talk about how Haven is in a goth phase just to attract attention from everyone but also like this was 2009 would anyone really care? Like that was near the height of like goth and emo culture. You know there are people like that all over the place I don't think she would stand out that much at this point. Anyways Haven likes Damon and so Ever decides unilaterally that she must stay away from him because she doesn't want to get in between her friend and the guy she likes because there has to be some sort of conflict here I guess and it does make some sense that Ever would respond that way because you know she's very lonely she doesn't want to alienate one of her only friends that she has. Like at this school the only friends we see her with are Miles and Haven. Although she did have old ones back in Oregon and she never talks to them or even really mentions them after the first little bit of this book but whatever. Is it because of Haven? He asks not buying my story. No I grip the steering wheel and glare at the light willing it to change from red to green so I can drop Miles off and be done with all this. But I know I answer too quickly when he goes ha I knew it it is because of Haven because she called dibs I can't believe you're actually honoring dibs I mean do you even realize you're giving up a chance to lose your virginity to the hottest guy in school maybe even the planet all because Haven called dibs that is a very strange thing to say to your friend Miles I'll be honest uh but I mean okay now one small detail that I did like a bit is that unlike a lot of other main characters in this genre Ever is not completely unfamiliar with boys you know like so many others have never been in any sort of relationship or even kissed or held hands with a boy at all whereas Ever mentions that she has dated a few and she's never gone further than kissing like it said she is a virgin but she has at least some experience and that's you know there however it's not uncomfortably focused on that she is a virgin at first you know no one talks about how she's pure or better than others because of it which is more than I expected because again that is a kind of a common thing in this genre like the main character is super virginal and she's also better than everyone else because of it there's a conversation that Ever has with Riley where she mentions that Riley was spying on her ex-boyfriend having sex with his new girlfriend and she also calls Ever a loser for not going out more and dating other boys completely unprompted by the way it's not like Ever brings this up and then Riley decides to get on her about it like just she just brings this up this is the conversation she wants to have with her very fragile sister who just lost her family like again Riley is kind of a jerk and I feel the need to reiterate that she's 12 years old and she's just watching other people have sex so you know like a 12 year old ghost girl is watching people have sex that is a thing that is canon in the Evermore universe what is it about being a young adult author that makes so many people lose their fucking minds? we get another long monologue about how Sabine is in over her head raising Ever but she's also kind of lonely you know because she is a very career-oriented woman you know she has a very successful job as an attorney at a firm and she has obviously a lot of money and everything because of that but she has no kids she doesn't seem to have any friends that we see she has very few at least she has no family other than the one that she lost in the car crash which remember she also lost her family in that car crash ever is not the only victim there and she's not married or in any relationships so you know she's kind of a lonely woman and that's all fine that's all a decent foundation for a character but again it's just telling and not showing Sabine doesn't seem all that lonely or ever is just saying Sabine is lonely now it makes sense forever to know all this because you know mind reading but it's very unsatisfying for readers like it's just not fun to read through it that way so ever and Sabine go to a fancy dinner because I don't know reasons plot devices plot points whatever and she briefly sees Damon and they talk for a minute and then Damon goes back to whatever he was doing with his date and she has no name at this point but ever is clearly jealous of her so ever goes home and while she's trying to sleep that night she hears what she thinks is Riley moving around so she talks to her she's like Riley what are you doing and then she responds with Damon's voice and she freaks out a little she turns the lights on but he's not there and at the beginning of the next chapter we just learned that apparently ever sees a lot of ghosts hanging around like not just Riley she sees them all over the place and this is not brought up until chapter 8 and more than that it doesn't go anywhere like I think this brief moment where they say I see a bunch of ghosts is like the only time where any other ghosts besides Riley are even brought up like throughout the whole rest of the series she doesn't use that so we now have three powers that should really only be one she can see ghosts she can see auras and she can read minds that doesn't really tie together that well you know again it feels like the author just wanted one but then couldn't make up her mind now this whole sequence with Damon showing up in a room doesn't matter because ever is convinced that she was dreaming and she never brings it up again but it is confirmed that he was actually watching her so we have the love interest watching the main character sleep check that box off ever sees a picture of Damon from a couple of years ago from a magazine or something and he says oh yeah I used to model and ever thinks it's a little weird because he doesn't look at all younger in the photo it's not that weird really like someone who looks more or less the same at 15 as they do at 17 it's not that crazy but whatever and then they are painting in class in art class you know they're going over like surrealism or something not important and Damon kind of implies that he's the one that taught Pablo Picasso how to paint and ever is just shocked by this to the point where she drops for paint brushes why would you be that shocked wouldn't you just assume it was a joke if someone said that like yes I paint I taught this very famous person who died a long time ago how to paint even though it was long before either of us were born also it's it's kind of treated as if Pablo Picasso was an artist from like centuries ago and he really wasn't he died in 1973 like obviously that's too old for a 17-year-old Damon to have met him let alone taught him how to paint but still like it it wasn't that long ago guys now I know these scenes the way I'm describing them feel very disconnected like the author wrote them all separately and then smashed them together without any real regard for pacing or transitions or anything like that and that's because they are disconnected you know it genuinely feels like the author wrote them all separately and then smashed them together and didn't really bother trying to connect them very well so Damon gives ever a drawing of a red tulip and she's shocked for some reason like red tulips are kind of a motif in this series like you can see on the cover of the book ever is holding a couple and I don't know it's like that's their thing but you know she she doesn't know that yet and she's just shocked ever and her aunt Sabine throw a Halloween party and a bunch of her friends come and a bunch of other people and that's okay because they run into Damon like he's at the party for some reason it doesn't say ever invited him but whatever he's there and then he and ever actually make out a little bit like they kiss while they're there and it's cool like I was not expecting things to move that quickly but his date from before who ever saw at the fancy restaurant comes up and she's really annoyed with them for doing this and we learn at this point that her name is Adrina and so she kind of drags Damon away and also a psychic whose name is Ava comes in and she can tell that ever is psychic too and she can see Riley and this leads nowhere but it lasts like 30 pages this whole sequence of the party and everything oh my god so later a bunch of them go to Disneyland while Adrina, Haven and another friend they have named Evangeline go to a Goth vampire nightclub in Los Angeles because yeah those are a thing I guess they're still probably a couple but they're definitely a lot bigger in 2009 than they are today and ever and Damon have a good time while they're at Disneyland and I I suppose they're dating now they just kind of seem like they're dating you know they seem like they're into each other they start kissing and stuff so I guess I guess they're dating and later we learn that Evangeline apparently has gone missing like when they went to the clubs she just disappeared whatever she mumbles anyways I haven't exactly told you this but well Adrina and I kind of left without her you what? you know at Nocturne she just sort of disappeared I mean we looked everywhere but we just couldn't find her so we figured she met someone which believe me is not out of character and then well we sort of left you left her in LA on Halloween night? ever is correct I'm not gonna say that very often but ever is correct you just sort of abandoned your friend because you couldn't find her for a couple of minutes you are horrible people fuck you but also that was pretty funny like the idea that they just sort of wandered around for two minutes looking for their friend and then decide well she's gone and she didn't say anything and so they just left that's a that's an amusing image also was the nightclub visit on Halloween night or was it later? I don't know the book says both because the Halloween party was on Halloween night but then they also visited this on Halloween night and it was later that they visited like I don't know doesn't make sense now no one besides Haven seems to care that Evangeline is missing you know she has no family or anything so no one has reported this to the police and later we learned that she was murdered they find her corpse in a canyon somewhere and the characters when talking about this sound really surprised and upset what a bunch of dumbasses some people are really fucking stupid so like let's let's go back reiterate for a moment Haven just sort of left her friend alone in an unfamiliar city without trying to call her or even trying to look that hard for her and without trying to contact her the next day or anything and she didn't tell anyone about this for several days but she's also surprised and upset that she's been murdered you're a terrible person and honestly that's not the most heinous thing that the good guys do here so Evangeline runs into Stacia who is a bully at their school who just makes fun of her a lot and Evangeline uses her mind reading powers to freak her out so Stacia leaves her alone from then on you know she just tells her information that she should not know and she can read all of her thoughts and it freaks her out and she decides okay I'm gonna leave Evangeline alone now I do like this moment in isolation like it's finally ever taking control of her powers and taking control of her situation and doing something about it rather than just wallowing in self-pity and going oh I'm so sad and life is so hard and Damon is so hot however ever hating her powers wasn't really focused on all that much like I know it seems like it was focused on a lot at the very beginning but it wasn't after that and also this leads nowhere so it just it doesn't really do anything even while it's good in isolation and that's what I mean when I say the author wrote these scenes separately and smashed them together like even the good scenes like this just don't work because of that so there are some more scenes where Damon hints that he might be magical somehow Riley hints that she kind of doesn't want to be a ghost and wants to move on to the afterlife etc and eventually ever finds out where Damon lives and just decides to break into his house she doesn't have a real reason for doing that she just is curious and he lives in a very affluent gated community and keep in mind this is affluent by the standards of orange county so kid is clearly loaded and I just got to wonder how he explains this because again he's 17 years old and he has mentioned that he is emancipated from his family so he doesn't live with his parents and that is an explanation for that sure but there's no explanation for where the money comes from you know I guess he just tells people it's from modeling I don't know and also why does he need to pretend to be emancipated in the first place wouldn't it be easier to just pretend that he's 18 like there'd be fewer questions because it's not that easy to get emancipated like you'd have to okay okay so while snooping around ever sees a bunch of paintings of Damon over the centuries wearing different clothing and with different dates on it so she's like what has he been alive for hundreds of years and then she hears some noises from another room and she goes to investigate and she sees Damon and he's holding down Haven on the floor and she is covered in blood and she's having a seizure or something she's freaking out a lot and ever understandably is upset when she sees this and she tries to call for help and then Damon restrains her and the next thing she knows she wakes up at home like he just physically restrains her and then suddenly whoa can you feel the love yet god moments like that just made this this series worthwhile you know without moments like that I would hate this series but I just I can't bring myself to say I hate evermore because of stuff like that so later she sees Haven at school and she was missing for a couple of days because she was sick as she says and ever just instantly trusts Damon again despite seeing something unpleasant like it looked like he was hurting her friend but she just trusts him again and they're having a conversation he's about to confess that he's immortal and then ever just cuts him off and leaves because yeah we're only two-thirds of the way through this story that is way too early to reveal the mystery and then right after this she sees Damon at school and she confronts him again asking for answers even though she walked away when he was going to provide answers earlier whatever and so in order to display that he's an immortal he puts everyone to school at sleep with magic like the two of them are just standing there and then with a snap of his fingers everyone else instantly goes to sleep which seems dangerous you know somebody could like fall down the stairs or something if that happens instantaneously but whatever and yeah he tells her he's lived for hundreds of years and she panics a little bit and says that she thinks he's a vampire which again that made me laugh you know it feels like a joke about the genre because in 2009 vampires were just freaking everywhere like it just it made me laugh you know there's moments in this that make it feel almost self-aware there's just not enough of them to convince me that it is self-aware he tells her he's not a vampire he's just an immortal he's someone that drank the elixir of life or the elixir of immortality and he also says that after the car crash that killed her family he found ever in the woods and brought her back from the brink of death somehow and she is very angry and upset about this because she says I wish I had died with my family which is an understandable thing to say you know she she's in a fragile state like even if someone doesn't necessarily want to live it is still the moral thing to save them and so you're probably feeling like Damon was right to save her life even if she is kind of upset with him and at first I agreed but this gets a lot worse we will come back to it but just know that I see you I see you Damon also hints that he has lost her before because as people who have read the series know she has reincarnated and died a bunch of times more than once at this point so yeah he's lost her before but he doesn't explain that to her right away and then he runs off to avoid freaking her out and he leaves hundreds of red tulips behind in the school's parking lot for her and I don't really have anything else to add but this line is funny because saying goodbye to Damon my gorgeous creepy quite possibly evil immortal boyfriend was harder than I'll ever admit but not getting to say goodbye to Riley is more than I can possibly bear so to cope with having to hear everyone's thoughts again ever becomes an alcoholic over the course of two pages you know she spends weeks in a stupor and she gets in trouble at school and you know so on and so forth it's just she's just she's an alcoholic her life is falling apart and alcoholism usually takes a lot longer to set in than just a couple of days but whatever and so she has a dream about a canyon and she goes to the one where Evangeline's body was found and she runs into who else but Dreena and Dreena is a bad guy she taunts her about her addiction how she's an alcoholic now and then she mentions that she is also an immortal just like Damon and she shows off a tattoo of the Ouroboros which apparently everyone who drinks the elixir of immortality and becomes an immortal has that tattoo on them keep that in mind she also says that she killed Evangeline and I don't know why like Evangeline doesn't have much connection to Ever like we find out pretty quickly she's doing this specifically to hurt Ever and Damon but like why? you know if she wanted to hurt her wouldn't it make more sense to kill Haven or Miles or Sabine maybe like those are people that she loves that are in her life but okay and then she explains to Ever about the whole reincarnation thing basically you know every couple of decades she pops up in a new body and then Damon finds her and they fall in love but before they get the chance to be together Darina killed her and why has she killed her every time? because she's jealous yes Darina is in love with Damon and wants him all to herself and thinks that the way to do this is by killing his other girlfriend so in this series with a female protagonist and at least in the first book a female antagonist their whole conflict still revolves around a man riveting so Darina beats up Ever very severely like you know knocks out her teeth breaks a bunch of bones and stuff and then suddenly she appears in a meadow with a bunch of flowers and shit and Damon is there and he says that he took her away from earth and to summerland which admittedly even Damon doesn't seem to completely understand what this place is so it's fine I guess that the books didn't go into a lot of detail about it but still we never learned that much about summerland Damon describes it as being like a place between earth and the afterlife but basically it's a dreamland where they are in complete control of everything you know they can summon objects and animals and stuff just by thinking about it and they call this manifesting and Ever can also do it in the real world with no practice at all which is you know very satisfying I love a protagonist that's just instantly good at everything they try he smiles manifesting same way you made the elephant and the beach it's simple quantum physics consciousness brings matter into being where there was once merely energy not nearly as difficult as people choose to think that is not how quantum physics works oh and right after that she says I squint not really getting it no mater how simple he thinks it is there's a typo in this professionally published book you know that's really why I read more traditionally published books than self-published ones in this segment like there's no excuse for having typos like that in this like multiple rounds of professionals had to go through this thing and none of them caught that that's that's not acceptable so at this point we learn that Damon when he saved Ever's life back after the car crash he actually gave her the elixir of immortality so she is now immortal but never noticed it you know she never got injured and healed very quickly she the Auroboros tattoo never appeared on her later we learn that one of the side effects of the elixir is that she grows taller and gets more muscle but she doesn't actually notice any of that until after she has learned that she has taken the elixir you'd think it would just sort of happen but okay so we get some more back story Damon his original name is Damon August Esposito because he's from Italy he's about 600 years old his father was an alchemist who was searching for the elixir of immortality he died when he was young Damon and Drina were wards of the church which is how they met and became close and then when Damon discovered how to make the elixir he gave it to her too and he didn't meet Ever until much much later and then he met and then he left Drina for her and then the whole death and reincarnation cycle now why does Ever reincarnate? it is unknown at this time and then the book just kind of continues for another 45 pages Ever talks to her sister Riley for the first time in a couple of weeks because apparently she couldn't see her when she was in her alcoholic stupor and they finally acknowledge that Riley needs to move on to the afterlife to be with their parents and she only didn't go because neither of them could really let go but Riley finally acknowledges you know I need to leave and Ever realizes okay I can't keep you here forever you need to go on I have accepted the loss and then she fades away and passes on presumably to the spin-off series which I have no interest in reading and then Drina just sort of reappears in her kitchen and gives a villain monologue that goes on for an entire chapter and then they fight for a bit and apparently the elixir also made Ever super strong which she never noticed until now but she's super strong now and then she punches Drina in the chest and then Drina collapses and very quickly dies and if you're wondering what happens don't worry Damon appears to explain things he shakes his head and laughs what kind of books are you reading then his face becomes very serious when he says it doesn't work like that there's no beheading no wooden stakes no silver bullets it all comes down to the simple fact that revenge weakens and loves strengthens somehow you managed to hit Drina right in her most vulnerable spot so he explains the whole thing about how everyone has seven chakras and they're located at different points in the body and Drina's weakest chakra was her fourth chakra which deals with selflessness and he he says and I quote her lack of love killed her and also your seventh chakra is in your solar plexus so right about here and immortals apparently will die if you hit them in their weakest chakra which makes them weirdly easy to kill and then they talk a bit more they declare their love to each other and the book just sort of ends yeah you know there's not really a denois or anything it just ends like I maybe the author was unsure if she was getting a sequel when she wrote it so she just wrote it in such a way where okay that's that could be the end that that could be the end of it there's no real sequel bait or anything which I guess is fine and yeah that was that was the end of the first book and as bad as it was I can't pretend it wasn't fun you know every character was awful so it is fun to watch them suffer you know watching ever get the crap kicked out of her by Drina was pretty funny because ever is a jerk the world and the magic really don't make any sense but there's so much new fantastical stuff constantly being brought in it's like it's like a child wrote it you know she can read minds oh also she can see auras oh also Damon doesn't have an aura oh also Damon is immortal also her sister's a ghost and she sees lots of ghosts but no one else can see them except for a couple of other psychics and then oh there's another immortal and the immortal wants to kill her because reincarnation except but you have to hit him in the secret spot which is one of their seven chakras like there's so much stuff being thrown at you that I didn't even really have time to dwell on it my first time through I didn't realize how dumb a lot of this was until I went back over it while putting together my notes for this video there are however plenty of problems here that are very unfunny like they're just not enjoyable to go through like after all of that stuff that we went through ever has no personality at all and she does not develop one over the rest of the series either like at the beginning she has a bit of a personality because she's clearly very depressed and having difficulty dealing with her new surroundings and her new powers and everything but she gets over it really quick and then there's nothing to replace it I've seen this a few times actually like the main character starts off with a personality but then it fades away and then they are just sort of in love with their love interest and there's there's nothing else to them after that like Fallen did basically the same thing you know the main character starts off feeling really isolated feeling really like she's a weirdo feeling depressed about it all hating that she has these powers to see these weird shadows when no one else does like she has something to her and then after that it's just gone I really won't have much to say about ever going forward like she is just blank she's a blank slate that there is absolutely nothing to her like imagine if someone drew a large picture with a whole bunch of stuff happening in it and then just erased one of the people in that picture so you could still kind of see their outline where they were you can see how everything moves around them and how the whole story is shaped around them but there's no definition to that character at all like that's basically what happened with ever if that makes sense Damon is at the very least not abusive yet but that is a very low bar you know like they they don't have much romantic chemistry like they don't have negative chemistry I will say that like there are some books where it seems like the romantic couple hates each other but they're supposed to be in love somehow like in this they just don't seem like they're in love so again it could be worse but it's a very low bar to clear and like I said the story is just stupidly disconnected you know it doesn't feel like a story at all it feels like a few months in the life of a depressed teenage girl and then there's also some magic stuff thrown in there like it it doesn't really lead into each other or build to anything it's just there anyways let's move on now to book two which is Blue Moon this one starts with ever practicing some of her manifesting in summerland now creating stuff from nothing like I said is called manifesting and they apparently can do it in both the real world and summerland she seemed already have it before but now she apparently has to practice okay I guess and also this is not related to the elixir of life I don't or the elixir of immortality I keep calling it that I don't think at least I think normal people can learn this but whatever and in the first chapter we learn there's really no good way to put this so it was mentioned in the last book that ever and daemon have never had sex in any of their past lives like Darina always killed her before they had the chance and they still haven't had sex in this current incarnation it's kind of implied that that might break whatever curse they're under like the curse of ever dying and reincarnating over and over again even though there's not really a curse anymore like it's already broken because ever is immortal now so you shouldn't have to worry about that but okay now here's the thing in the last book remember I said that it was nice that ever being a virgin was not uncomfortably focused on well this is where they start uncomfortably focusing on it like it is fine that her and daemon have not had sex yet like ever is young she's only 17 and they've only known each other for a few months and they've only dated for a few weeks it probably feels like this would be a big step for her but the annoying part is that her losing her virginity is an actual plot point like an important plot point and for some reason in these terrible young adult romances characters losing their virginity often is an important plot point in the halo trilogy there was that whole thing about how her having sex with a daemon will trap her in hell for eternity and then in the last book there was a whole thing about how her and her boyfriend now husband couldn't actually consummate their marriage otherwise it would make things worse for them I don't know it was dumb house of night had that whole thing about how she had sex in order to break her mental slash emotional bond with her old boyfriend like you know the magical vampire bond because she drank his blood and then there's another series called sweet evil which I've not read but I've heard a lot about and in that one the main character literally can't save the world if she's not a virgin because she needs to wield a special sword which you can only wield if you're pure of heart and apparently not being a virgin means that you're not pure like there's this whole theme throughout a lot of them it's just more explicit in sweet evil about how losing your virginity just makes you less pure and that's honestly gross look young people watching this I'm just gonna hit you with some advice right now losing your virginity is not that big a deal it's really not like it seems like it's far away and it's scary but it's not like it feels that way because society treats it like it's that way like it's a huge step like you're going to be a different person afterwards and you're really not going to be like and part of society being so weird about it is books like this that treat it like it's literally magic so it just this sort of thing just really annoys me you know and even without the fact that it is magical and there's this idea of it corrupting people which again is gross even without that which annoys me personally it's still focused on a lot you know Ever and Damon make a plan to have sex pretty early on that gets derailed obviously and he talks about having waited 400 years for this like maybe maybe don't draw so much attention to how much older he is than her like that that makes it weird you know like if you don't want the characters to be in a sexual relationship just don't bring it up you know just just don't mention it at all or have them not have sex because one of them is just more traditional and wants to wait until they're married or something like you know Edward Cullen in Twilight didn't want to have sex with Bella for a long time because he wanted to wait until they're married like it's just I don't know this weird focus on all this just annoys me maybe I'm the only one like main characters in these stories are never allowed to lose their virginity at least not until very close to the end if not at all like it's just I don't know I don't like it so Ever and Damon's lives are going great Ever is now subsisting entirely off of the elixir of life like apparently immortals don't have to eat food or drink water they just regularly drink the elixir of life and that maintains their immortality like they have to continue drinking it otherwise they die and Sabine because she doesn't see her eat thinks maybe she's anorexic but like I said one of the side effects of the elixir is that you grow taller and get muscles and everything so Sabine's kind of confused but apparently she doesn't have an eating disorder and she's no longer having trouble at school because she can just read everyone's minds and take the answers to all the tests from them I don't know if that's really a bad thing or if that makes her a bad person but it is worth mentioning and then we get introduced to a new kid at school his name is Roman and he's basically just a repeat of Damon you know everyone is so super focused on him he's so hot he's so talented he's so nice he's so cool yada frickin yada like the only difference between him and Damon from the first book is that Roman is English and ever doesn't particularly like him like the text has to constantly remind us that Roman has an English accent as well like sometimes it's not written out and other times it is written out phonetically like there's a point where he literally says what are we doing in a mite which is just obnoxious to read at least if it's there too much it's obnoxious to read like I don't know it is weird to switch back and forth like that I figure you should just commit to one or the other and even when it's not written out like that it is still referenced a lot so you can never forget that this dude has an English accent now at this point Damon starts getting sick which derails their plans to have sex and ever is concerned because he's immortal and immortal shouldn't get sick and he tries drinking more immortal juice and he tells her not to worry and ever is used to seeing him drink a lot more because like the the longer you live the older you get the more of the elixir of immortality you have to drink in order to maintain your immortality they talk a little bit about the first time they met and it was France in the year 1608 and ever was a servant and they fell in love and then Drina got jealous and killed her and that's really all you need to know and then a couple decades later he saw her reincarnated as a Puritan in Massachusetts it wasn't until many years later when I saw you again in New England having incarnated as a Puritan's daughter that I began to believe in happiness again now you might not notice the problem there like I don't blame you if you missed it because I actually missed it at first until I went back over this for my notes here's the thing how did Damon know that she had reincarnated like it never says it just says he saw her again as a Puritan really that's that's what we're doing like stay stupid water bottles somehow he just knew it was ever that was this Puritan girl it wasn't just another girl who he fell in love with that reminded him of her or anything is he knows it's a reincarnation like we don't even know how he learned that reincarnation was a thing we just know okay apparently this is the same person so wouldn't he have thought he was just falling in love with all these different girls decades apart and Drina was killing them all I I don't know it's like the author like the author came up with this idea and she had it really solidly in her head but never explained how the characters knew this about the world the world they live in so Damon tries to make a portal to Summerland so he and Ever can go there for a bit and he can't do it because something is clearly wrong with his powers and he tries to hide it from Ever like he pulls away from her more and more and spends more time alone he could just talk to her about what's going on and try to find a solution but whatever so Ever starts worrying especially hard because she sees him one day and he's all sweaty and that's weird because he doesn't sweat okay I get this is just supposed to be part of like his immortal powers you know the same way he has like he doesn't have to eat or drink but how does he regulate his body temperature so Damon starts avoiding her and he's guzzling down more and more elixir to try and fix whatever is wrong with him but he just gets sicker and sicker and sicker meanwhile Roman is just he's there you know we're supposed to think he's important but he really doesn't do anything at this stage he's just there Haven and Miles become better friends with him and he really doesn't do anything wrong Ever just Ever just dislikes him because I don't know he's British or whatever and later everyone at the school just basically worships him and it becomes clear at this point that he's using some sort of magic to influence them but it takes a while there's a bit where Ever freaks out and falls into a rack of underwear at Victoria's Secret and somebody films it and posts it on YouTube and it gets 2000 views I don't know it seems like I'm skipping stuff and it might seem like I'm simplifying things but I promise I'm not like this is the book where the story really gets stretched out like crazy like by this stage I'm halfway through this damn thing and almost nothing has happened yet the disconnected nature of all the scenes in here doesn't really help either like it feels like there's a couple of important events with just nothing in between them and so because of that the important events don't really have any build up to them and so they don't hit as hard as they should like for example there's a bit where Ever thinks that Roman is an immortal so she checks his body for an Ouroboros tattoo and sees none and is still convinced that he's an immortal and then later it turns out he is an immortal like there's no mystery or misdirection there Roman is bad he's clearly using some sort of magic Ever knows he's bad and never second guesses herself and was right all along like if you want to do a twist of that sort of thing just have Roman seem like he's the villain but then it turns out he's actually under someone else's control and they're the real villain like that could maybe work so Ever goes and talks to Ava who you remember the psychic from the last book who came up once yeah like this book gives us no reminders of who she is so I genuinely forgot who she was supposed to be for a little while so her and Ava go to Summerland to try and figure out what's wrong with Damon and how possibly to fix it and while they're there they meet these twin girls named Romy and Rain who just they live in Summerland apparently and then Ava disappears suppose that she didn't need and any further no further help from her whatever so Romy and Rain take Ever to a temple that might have the information that she's looking for and they refuse to answer any questions that Ever asks them about Summerland you know like she asks where does it come from who created all these buildings and everything like I didn't manifest them it's just been sitting there and they refuse to answer which I feel is very indicative of the author having no desire to explain anything so Ever enters this temple and sees some images of Damon's early life which is when he discovered how to make the elixir and then she also sees him with Drina and then she tries to rush past that bit because she doesn't want to see him with Drina and then the temple is angry at her for trying to fast forward because she needs to watch everything and then it throws her out so we're back to square one at some point Ever realizes that someone is poisoning Damon's elixir of immortality so she goes to his house and dumps it all out and then she figures out that Roman wants to kill Damon because he was in love with Drina like Roman was in love with Drina and he wants revenge for her death so again this whole conflict is not about a problem they actually have with that person it's just indirectly they were in love with someone else and that's where all the problems come from Ever also sees visions of Damon and his father making the elixir of immortality and learns the recipe she decides the best solution to all these problems is to go back in time to before her family died so that way her and Damon would never meet and therefore Drina would never get killed and therefore Roman would never try to kill Damon of course time travel it's so obvious now the time traveling spell can only be done during a blue moon which if you are unaware that's not actually when the moon is blue that's just when there are two full moons in the same month which is very rare but or not very rare it happens every couple of years but you know it's it's not super common and then I swear to god this copy the rest of the pages are missing after that bit like you can kind of see it just torn out there that there's like 40 that are just gone from the end of this book which that would be annoying if I got this for free but I paid money for this and it's missing that that actually pisses me off a little bit thrift books get your shit together now as funny as it would be to just go to the next one and try and figure out what happened through context I did read the rest of this electronically I borrowed an electronic copy from my library so I couldn't take notes the way I normally do and thus I'm going off of my memory here so if I miss any details then I'm sorry but honestly without knowing everything it is funnier and my headcanon is probably better than what actually happens so the short version is that Ever goes back in time and tries to avoid the car crash it seems to work for a bit and then she gets pulled back to the present because time travel doesn't actually work I think it's not explained well I don't know and then she finds Damon unconscious and on the verge of death and then Roman appears and saying he'll give her the antidote to the poison and Ava offers a different solution and Ever decides to trust Roman because she's stupid and she gives Damon his antidote and it does save his life it cures him of the poison but then Roman laughs because this was all part of his evil plan all along you see the antidote did cure the poison but it also gave Damon a nasty curse the curse is that if his and Ever's DNA ever mixes he will die so in other words like if her spit gets in his mouth or anything like that he will die meaning they can't have sex or he will die and that moment made all of the boring parts of this book worth it like when I first read it it was like 11 o'clock at night and I was struggling not to make noise because I was just crying with laughter I don't know how this is even supposed to work like he's immortal these immortals die so easily but man he can't have sex with Ever or he will die like that was amazing so Roman runs off and then Damon and Ever wonder what to do next and then just like the last book it just ends you know there's not much after the climax and there's not much of a climax either so yes this this whole plot twist as funny as it is is terrible for several reasons for starters Ever and Damon are apart for most of this book which is you know common in the genre but annoying because it's romance you know we want the couple to interact but it does kind of introduce the major arc that dominates the rest of the series which is Roman now Roman's not the villain forever but him and his actions in this book are what lead to everything else in the series really now Roman is not a good villain he wants to kill Damon but then even though he has the chance to kill Damon he just makes it so he can't have sex with his girlfriend instead you know he has opportunities to kill him and then he doesn't do it and then he just kind of gets worse from there like he he poses zero threat like like the only thing he's kind of threatening at is threatening to keep the couple apart but he's not a threat to their loved ones he's not a threat to the world he just it's just that normally I would be fine with that because that's a bit smaller scale it's a little bit more original it's less melodramatic there's basically just less of a sense that the main character is the center of the entire world when she's not trying to save the entire world however threats to romantic couples really only work when they are internal threats you know e.g. can they fix their flaws and become better people or are they even a good match can their love survive you know these conflicts can be externalized and represented by other things but they have to tie into the character's inner struggles otherwise it just doesn't work like very good example of this is the movie warm bodies if you've never seen that movie it's about a zombie and a human who fall in love and the whole conflict the internal conflict rather is you know will she accept him and can he get past his killer instincts and rise beyond just this mindless creature who wants to eat brains all the time and these inner conflicts are represented by the conflict between zombies and humans you know can both of these civilizations reconcile and find peace or will they continue until one of them is wiped out now there is no conflict between ever and daemon they are perfectly in love and there's no real threat to them other than people trying to kill one or the other you know like and that sort of thing well it's not super deep it can work for one maybe two books but it cannot work for six it just can't tomorrow hey what's up i'm back so now after that we will go to book three which is Shadowland and this is the one where it really started to dawn on me how much further I had to go because this is the longest in the series and trust me it feels like it and while I was going through it I realized that like even after I managed to slog through all of this I still had three more to go like this was only the halfway point ooh boy and part of that is because this is the book where it starts to feel less crazy and it starts to feel more like just another paranormal young adult romance and that's just not fun you know like boring is not fun crazy is fun like it's really only the fourth and fifth books or excuse me the fifth and sixth books where things start to get crazy again after this and obviously before this the series did already feel like a part of that genre because it was a part of that genre but it also felt like it was its own thing Shadowland is where well it starts to lean into tropes we all see we've all seen a million times for example this is the book where Damon is revealed to be a horrific abuser yeah I just I can't get through one of these reviews without talking about that sort of thing apparently so basically pretty early on in the book he shows ever this place called the Shadowland and basically you go to Summerland and there's like this big black area and if you touch it it takes you into the Shadowland and when immortals die their souls go to Shadowland instead of going to the afterlife which is like where ever's parents and her sister went and the Shadowland is like not described super in depth but basically while you're there you are completely isolated in your own head you can't see or talk to anyone or anything else and you're just reliving your worst memories over and over again for eternity so basically it's hell but honestly this just made all the threats to their lives impossible for me to take seriously because every time I read Shadowland and every time a character talked about being afraid of going to the Shadowland or something my brain just auto-corrected it to Shadowrealm and so there's points where like villains say send them to Shadowland and in my mind it was send them to the Shadowrealm and maybe I'm the only one there that gets that but man just someone plays Swords of Revealing Lights I'm a child I can't you know the Shadowrealm the big purpley cloudy place that you go to when something really bad happens to you I think you're talking about hell and apparently we find out kind of at this stage but it's explained in a little bit more depth later on especially in the last book but when you're immortal your body is immortal but your soul is mortal so when your soul goes to the Shadowrealm it ceases to exist but that's not what mortal means like if your body if your soul was mortal then wouldn't you just cease to exist altogether after your body died rather than going to this hell-like location for all eternity because that's still a form of immortality it's okay whatever now all that silliness aside the fact is Daemon made ever immortal without her consent without asking her and it's not like she was against it but she also did not know about this and Daemon has now condemned her to this fate like whenever she eventually dies like hundreds or thousands of years in the future because she is immortal but whenever she eventually dies she will be condemned to an eternity in the Shadowrealm and um that's not okay yeah that is not okay he knew about it you know he just didn't tell her about it until the third book because I guess that's not important but he knew he can't plead ignorance he knew about this he turned her into immortal into an immortal without telling her any of the consequences and without letting her make this choice fuck Daemon and it's weird too because throughout the rest of the series he's not really controlling or possessive or abusive at all like this is really the only thing he does but it's bad enough that it undoes all the goodwill I had towards him and honestly the books never acknowledged that what he did is morally questionable because again he did save her life and he did give her a lot more time on earth but he also is making sure that she will never go to the afterlife and never see her family again like not a single character ever brings up like hey Daemon that's questionable like you can argue that maybe it was okay but at the very least someone should say something so like but just what the fuck like no one seems to think this is bad like man one of these days someone needs to make like an iceberg or iceberg video about all the abusive things that young adult love interests do like Edward watching Bella Sleep would just be the very very tippy top and condemning someone to an eternity in hell would probably not even be the worst thing so this book starts exactly the same as the last one with them in summerland practicing manifesting it's about a week after the end of Blue Moon and despite a week having already passed Ever still has not told Daemon about the curse so if he like ever kissed her by surprise or got any of her DNA on him or anything he would just go to the shadow realm forever you are both horrible people and you deserve each other like that again that's something you need to warn somebody about so she tells him pretty quickly and he is upset about it but he's also understanding he doesn't seem to think it's the end of the world you know he says you know what we will make it work we'll find a cure in the meantime just just don't have sex which is kind of a more mature reaction than I was expecting from him so they start doing research and they go to the temple in summerland again to see if they can find a cure and Daemon reveals that he has been watching her for years like in her current life ever since she was 10 years old he's just been watching her from a distance and that's why he was nearby when the car crash happened like I guess I guess the author just realized like wait why would he be nearby so that he could actually save her life and she had to come up with an excuse and that's the one she went with you mean you were spying on me I gape hoping it wasn't nearly as creepy as it sounds when I was a kid he cringes averting his gaze when he says no not spying ever please what do you take me for he laughs and shakes his head it was more like keeping tabs patiently waiting until the time was right all right let's put another point in the creepy inconsiderate asshole column because that is literally not figuratively literally the sort of thing a child rumor says like Daemon this is already kind of creepy because you're so much older than her stop emphasizing it okay I have no good place to insert this into the summary or into any of my rants so I'm just gonna say it Daemon starts wearing a magical full body condom like he makes this like weird energy force feel it's invisible but it just goes right over his skin so that when he touches ever it's not actually touching her but they can kind of feel sensations between it so again it's basically just a magical full body condom however they can still only kiss and hold hands and stuff while he's wearing that because they can't have sex because he has to focus in order to keep it in place and when he's excited he can't keep up that focus that is something that is in this book and you needed to hear it so ever tries to make peace with Roman so that she can get the antidote and she can't convince him to give it up at all and he says multiple times that he doesn't want to have sex with her like completely unprompted by the way he says he doesn't want to have sex with her because she's a virgin and she would be very boring in bed which I guess is accurate but again he says it completely unprompted I don't know what brought that up and at some point ever in Daemon accidentally pull Romeo and Rain out of Summerland and they can't make it back and the two of them went there hundreds of years ago as children and they aren't really sure how to exist on earth so they're just living with Daemon for a while and did I mention that ever told one of her teachers that she can read minds because she told one of her teachers that she can read minds and then that teacher starts dating her on Sabine it goes nowhere but you know it happens also Haven's parents are getting divorced meaning she'll probably have to move away soon and she wants to try and get emancipated even though it's clear that she really has no grounds to get emancipated she's just very upset and she starts hanging out with Roman a lot more which ever tries to talk her out of but she isn't really able to do it and also Haven's cat is dying and that's super sad yeah I mean if you thought the first two boys Brooks were disjointed you have seen nothing yet like there are so many subplots that just pop up and meander around along with the main plot such as it is like the main plot barely exists by this point like I don't know like when it gets to this point it's difficult to even summarize because there just is so much stuff happening that leads nowhere so it's just like little moment little moment little moment and I didn't want to describe all of them but at the same time you kind of have to describe all of them in order for things to make sense it's it's really really stupid I was tempted to not even do this as a summary and just like do it by theme like I would have section one like all the stuff I disliked in this category but nah I I think this is still the better way to do it so ever needs a little bit of time away from the others and she also needs to find a clue to help her with all of her various problems so she goes to the old psychic book store where Ava used to work also Ava has disappeared by this point surely you were aware of that and there she meets a hot guy about her age named Jude and they talk and they kind of hit it off they seem to be getting along really well and Jude apparently runs the entire store despite only being 17 and I don't blame you if you were thinking that it would never come up in this series after so long but here it is here's the love triangle yep we made it two entire books without having one and we're like a third of the way through this one and here it is like this is when they decide to introduce it awesome this is honestly one of the weakest love triangles I've ever read though like even the characters don't seem to take it all that seriously and it seems extraordinarily half-assed and honestly I feel like I could go through this entire series and summarize it without mentioning Jude at all and you would still understand what's going on which should give you an idea of just how little presence he has here it's it's very stupid so ever decides to get a job at the store as a psychic and she starts giving people readings obviously she can't see the future but she can read minds and kind of just tells them what they want to hear which is how real psychics work because you know there aren't actually any real psychics there's just people that want your money anyways Jude is really impressed by her being able to do this because well you know we need to be told about how special and important and cool the main character is so there is a book of magic spells at the store that ever takes because it might have some useful information and then Jude is just cool with it he's just like yeah you can you can just take it it's fine it's not a big deal and he doesn't know about her being immortal but he does just sort of know about magic and stuff so he takes all of this in stride and like the later revelations he's a little shocked about but again he just takes it all in stride because he already knows about magic and everything and so after she mentions Jude to Damon he decides to show her some visions of one of her past lives which is in when she lived in Amsterdam and in that life she fell in love with a painter whose name was Bastion de Kool I hope I'm pronouncing that right and it's revealed that that was Jude in a past life like Jude is a reincarnation of Bastion de Kool and Damon sounds all guilty while he's explaining this and he explains to Everett that her and Jude are apparently soulmates like whatever that means like they're destined to be together again I don't know what that means or how it works like what what is a soulmate is that someone who when they meet they're guaranteed to fall in love because clearly ever in Damon or excuse me ever in Jude have not fallen in love ever only loves Damon how exactly does that work are their souls just tied together I don't know but he says they're destined to be together whatever that means and Damon says that he stole her away by showing off his magic powers and flaunting his wealth and so he feels guilty about that because oh she was supposed to be in love with Jude but I showed off my wealth and my magic powers and she was impressed and fell in love with me instead and I just of all the bad things he does in the series that's what they decide to focus on like really that is the thing that's the author thought yes this will make him morally ambiguous and it will make him seem like more of a bad boy but ever will still eventually fall in love with him but we'll be wondering can she really do it can she really love such a bad boy like that is what they're focusing on that's not bad it's really not like it's not as if he mind controlled her or kidnapped her or anything like that like he just courted her and then she fell in love with him instead of Jude like he again he didn't brainwash her she had agency in this situation so what's the big deal like this story clearly wants to have ambiguity but Damon does other terrible things that they could use to make him seem a little bit less like a angel nice boy it I don't know this twist twist was aware of just how shitty of a person Damon was but she couldn't think of an excuse for any of his actions so she just kind of swept him under the rug and pretended they weren't that bad but she still wanted him to be a bad boy who has done some bad things so it just winds up being a complete mess like like I said this is genuinely the dumbest love triangle I've seen in a long time obviously ever doesn't leave Damon for Jude because there's not much real attraction there I mean her and Jude get along okay they seem to be all right friends throughout the series but there's nothing really romantic there calling them soulmates means nothing but despite that the next 150 pages of this book after that revelation are basically just ever angsting over oh maybe I'm supposed to be in love with Jude I don't know which is just stupid like we already know where it's going and it's not even interesting to think about what would happen if she went with Jude and also while this is going on she's trying out some spells so that she can maybe brain control Roman or something so she casts one of these spells during a new moon which apparently turns the magic into dark magic and then bad things will happen and then the climax happens like yeah I know it seems like we got there really quick but trust me there's a lot of empty space here basically Haven is kidnapped by Roman and his gang of immortal followers and oh yeah Roman has immortal followers I didn't mention them because they really don't do anything before this and they do barely anything after this but they've been there for a while and basically he knows how to make the elixir of immortality and he's made other people immortal as well so he just hasn't told them how to make it so he supplies them with it and in exchange they are loyal to him because they depend on him so ever arrives and Haven is unconscious laying on the floor she's poisoned and she's dying which is basically the same thing is how the last book ended like I'm getting real fifth source risk vibes here let me tell you but anyways Roman says the only cure for the poison is to make her immortal and so ever decides to make her drink the elixir and she lives and then Roman cackles evilly because he is evil so now Haven is an immortal and I'll be honest I kind of like this part you know ever is being put into a similar situation that Damon was put into after the car crash you know she could save a loved one but she will also be condemning them to the shadow realm for all eternity but if she doesn't do anything then they'll die so it's a difficult choice or at least it would be a difficult choice if the book's ever acknowledged that making someone immortal could be something that they don't want so you're doing this without their consent like whatever that whole idea is barely touched on though in the next book Haven is just thrilled to be immortal and ever never seems to be guilty about it you know she seems guilty about drawing Haven into this situation with Roman and everything but she doesn't seem to feel guilty about condemning her to the shadow realm forever so yeah that that was Shadowland and that was where it goes from hilariously bad to sometimes funny but largely dull you know and I just don't have much else to say about this one so I guess it's time to move on to book four which is Dark Flame Dark Flame is bull like it is the worst in the series by far it has fewer of the funny moments that we need sprinkled throughout in order to keep my interest but it also just has I can't even explain it's just it's nothing the storyline for this one is basically nothing until the climax and I feel the need to point out that all of these books only came out a couple months apart from one another like the entire series was published over a little bit more than two years so she wrote Dark Flame in a couple of months like less than six months I think and it really seems that by this point she had run out of time, run out of motivation or run out of ideas I don't know but it really feels like she's just putting in less effort from this point forward the very first line of the book is as follows what the fug? Haven drops her cupcake the one with the pink frosting red sprinkles and silver skirt her heavily made up eyes searching mine as I glance around the busy plaza and cringe yeah so from the beginning of the first book Haven has always said fug instead of fuk because made an oath not to swear I guess like I couldn't find a good place to point out how cringy that is but I needed to mention it at least once like every time it happened I just I just wanted to die I either swear or don't like either you could write down Haven's swore under her breath what is that? she said and it would be okay and it would prevent your book from being labeled as two adults for teens or something like that or just have her say what the fuk you know like this half measure is annoying and it's really not for anyone so Ever explains everything to Haven about how yeah you're immortal now and she tries to tell her if she made her immortal because Roman tried to kill her and Haven refuses to believe it because she's very fukking stupid and you remember that spell that Ever cast during the new moon that apparently was evil well what it did was it bound Ever to Roman so now she's attracted to him and she's like kind of in love with him and she can't stay away from him and like if you're going to do a love triangle why not just do this you know because like this is also kind of a pseudo love triangle between you know Roman Ever and Damon so why not just cut out that stuff about Jude all together right I don't know but it's here and I don't know she wants to bone him for a little while and then it goes away she also tells Jude about the immortality and the magic and everything and he takes it surprisingly well all things considered like okay no conflict needed I guess and it's weird because this series treats Jude almost like he's supposed to be an opposite to Damon like they're supposed to be a sort of yin and yang thing where they both complement Ever in different ways and at first it seems like the case because Jude is a decent guy and Damon is an asshole but then at the end of this book he kills someone so it just it doesn't really work they both come across as assholes and then around 250 pages into this 300 page book Ever sees visions of Romans past so she sees that when he was a child he was abused by his father and then he was found by Dreena and then Dreena made him immortal and then he fell in love with her and he was jealous of Damon et cetera et cetera et cetera so Ever realizes that in order to break the magical bond she has to stop focusing on him and move on with her life like she can't constantly be wondering how can I get Roman to give me the antidote so that I can have sex with Damon like she's just has to move on like that's what she realizes she needs to do so she goes to him and she tells him I'm done playing your game Damon and I are just going leave us alone we don't care about you anymore I don't even want the antidote just stay away from us and he's disappointed because number one he wanted revenge on them but number two this is just kind of how he amuses himself like by tormenting them this way and long story short they're talking for a bit and she says she can help him move past past his pain and loss because you know he's lost Dreena and he feels like he has no one else and so he agrees to this and they begin meditating on his bed with their legs crossed and they're facing each other and keep keep in mind that's the position they're in and before they do this he takes out a little glass vial and says that this is the antidote and he puts it in his breast pocket and he says he will give it to her if it works he also specifically says the recipe is not written down anywhere he just remembers it and if she does anything to him then she won't be able to get it so while they are meditating and while Roman is magically moving past his problems Jude comes in and he sees them and despite seeing that they're both just sitting there he thinks that Roman is hurting ever somehow and he attacks him and he manages to punch him right in the solar plexus which is his weakest chakra and he bursts into a pile of dust and while doing that he also somehow smashes the vial of the antidote so that's gone it's weird that Roman's fourth chakra was his weakest because that was supposed to be the one that was also Dreena's weakest and for her it was weak because she didn't love anyone but Roman very clearly did love Dreena that's why he's going out for revenge against these other people okay whatever and so Ever is obviously very upset because she thinks that her last chance to bone daemon is now gone and I just want to point out that in this series so far two immortals have died because they have accidentally been hit in their weakest chakra like these might be the only immortals I have ever seen that are somehow easier to kill than normal people also how did punching him in the solar plexus break the vial like your solar plexus is here and your breast pocket is usually up here over your heart like maybe it could be on the other side I don't know but either way if you're just punching that's that's quite a quite a distance there that he was able to cover both of those that that just doesn't make any sense it's look it's just annoying to have plot progression dangled in front of my face like this only we snatched away again like it we've now had two entire books where basically the whole conflict is that ever and daemon can't have sex and they're trying to find a way to end his curse so that they can have sex and spoiler alert the exact same thing happens in the next book too like ever tries to get a roman shirt which still has the old antidote soaked into it and then it gets burned up like oh sorry for spoilers like just something has to happen you know stories can be formulaic but something still has to happen you can't have the exact same conflict almost get resolved resolved over and over again it feels like I'm on a freaking treadmill not being able to have sex with your significant other does suck especially if you both want it to this badly but it is not the end of the world I felt sympathetic for them at first but by this point all of that is gone so yeah that's that's about all like this this book is largely just empty you know I I was expecting to find more stuff to talk about while going over it for my notes and everything but yeah there's just there's just nothing here it it is devoid of any real substance whatsoever like normally when I cover entire series like this I do go over the later books faster than the first few and the reason for that being that I don't want to cover the same problems over and over again you know I I don't need to mention every moment in this series where the characters do something rude or inconsiderate like you get the idea after the first couple you know like these characters are all mean and the story never calls them out on it so I don't really need to tell you about the scene wherever tells Haven that they don't need to eat anymore because they're immortal and Haven specifically says really I thought you had an eating disorder like you know the sort of thing you just brush off when you think your friend has one of them I also don't need to mention all the scenes of ever lying to Sabine and making her life more difficult like I don't need to mention all of that because you get the idea these are terrible people on top of that whenever there's a bad book series that I'm reading the later books tend to get more and more stretched out like I'm not exactly sure why my theory about this is that a lot of times especially with books in this genre authors will have a solid idea of what the first book is about you know the love interests meet and then they fall in love because they always have to be in love by the end of the first book that's just how it works and that is why the first book in Evermore is pretty self-contained you know you can just read that first one and feel like you got a complete story and while they're writing that maybe the authors have a vague idea of the climax in the final book but trying to lead the characters there when they are already in love and that was the main conflict of the series is oh can we see these two fall in love like it's just kind of difficult to really lead them anywhere and thus there is a bunch of pointless drama and I don't know I just I don't have anything else to say about Dark Flame like it is just an empty book and the only thing really worth talking about is the ending so now we move on to book five which is the second to last one in the series and it is called Nightstar this one can be described very simply it is the book where Haven becomes the villain if that sounds stupid that's because it really is and I'm gonna be straight with you this one is almost as boring as the last one not quite as boring but almost as boring so I didn't mention this but at the end of the last book Haven comes in and she sees Roman is dead and she's very upset and thinks that ever killed her and she takes his shirt which you know had the antidote soaked into it because the glass vial broke and Jude tries to tell her that he's the one that killed him but Haven just thinks that ever did it because again we need a conflict and even if it involves characters acting really stupid for no real reason at least it causes a conflict which will allow you to write another book the story of this one is largely just Haven swearing to get revenge on Ever and Damon without really doing anything to get revenge on Ever and Damon I don't know she's she's kind of just a crappier version of Roman really like she wants revenge on them because they killed one of her loved ones and she's going to get revenge by not by killing them but by by doing something luckily we do get some more world-building information and some more information about Ever's past lives and I'm going to read a passage here it's going to be a long passage and it might seem like it goes on for a while and you might start wondering partway through James did you really need to read all of this but I have to read this entire thing to you so that way the reality of what is going on here can slowly dawn on you the same way it did for me already seen the images that play out before me it's it's the antebellum south and while I'm not exactly sure where I can tell by the houses the way they're constructed in a way I think is called plantation style and by the way the atmosphere changes the sky appearing hot bright and incredibly muggy in a way I've never seen or felt in any of my other lives that it's the deep south like an establishment shot in a movie a picture that clues you in to where you are in the story then just as quickly we're inside that same house focusing on a close-up of a girl who stands before a window she's supposed to be cleaning but it is staring out of instead her face soft and dreamy she's tall for her age narrow shoulder and slim with gleaming dark skin and long lanky limbs that seem to go on for miles before ending in a pair of skinny ankles that peek out from the hem of her plain cotton dress a garment that's so well worn it's obviously been mended again and again but it's pressed and clean just like the rest of her and even though I can only view her in profile since she's turned to the side I see that her long dark hair spirals the back of her head in a complicated series of knots and braids though it's not until she turns turns in a way where I can clearly see her face that I look straight into those deep brown eyes and realize I'm looking at me I gasp at the sound of it echoing off the rounded white marble walls as I stare into a face so young and so beautiful yet marred by an expression that's saddened way beyond her slash my ears and a moment later when a much older white man appears the meaning of it all soon becomes clear he is the master I am his slave and there is no time for daydreaming here oh oh no we're going there so ever bloom who I must clarify I know she's gotten no actual physical description in this entire series but I must clarify ever bloom is white but in one of her past lives she was a black slave in the American south oh god I am getting saved the pearls flashbacks right now like trying to take all the horrors of American race-based chattel slavery and say that a modern white person was a victim of it is distasteful let's just call it distasteful and the phrase stolen valor keeps popping up in my head I know I know that's not quite the right term but it's the only one I can think of stolen valor and like okay obviously yes other races have been enslaved at various points in history and in various areas but if you wanted ever to like be a slave in her past life so you could give this brief backstory just maybe just have her be a white slave at some other time point in history you know you you could do that that wouldn't not be allowed or maybe just have all of her past lives be happy I don't know like maybe just leave the slavery thing alone why are we doing this but here's the thing it gets worse from here it's not just that ever was a slave in this life where ever bloom the white person in the modern day was formerly a black slave in the American South she is bought by Damon like he buys her now buying a slave in order to free them and then they reward you with sex is a trope I've seen before like isekai anime is weirdly it's weirdly prevalent there of course usually they don't actually have sex but also the heroes don't actually free them most of the time they just take them as a slave and then decide to be really nice about it and here's the thing I would assume that Damon frees her after buying her because that seems like it would be the right thing to do right and I wouldn't blame you for also thinking that but the books never specify that he freed her they just say that he buys her and then she lives in his mansion for a while and then Dreena kills her so as far as we know Damon bought this slave because he was in love with her and then he just kept her as a slave at his house when she had no option but to leave do you just feel the love yet? god I'm losing my mind you know I still hate Damon but there comes a point where writing gets so bad that I stop hating the characters and I start hating the fucking author like god this this bit this backstory might have been fine if Damon had helped her escape that life instead of just buying her thereby financially supporting her old master and the institution of slavery itself like you know maybe that could have worked but it's Jesus no matter how many terrible books I read that just have insane shit like this in them I am always taken aback when I read them like just always I will never get used to this you know one of these days I want to read one of these terrible young adult romances where the main character has a love interest who is clearly abusive and halfway through the series she realizes that he's a terrible person and that he's abusive and then she leaves him and then he's a villain for the rest of the series like I if you can think of any series that do anything like that let me know down below because I want to read something like that that sounds interesting but that's not all because you see in addition to being horrible Damon also just becomes really pathetic in this book as far as Damon sees it pretty much everything other than me slips into the not worth the bother category to the point where it seems like the only thing he really cares about these days the only thing he really focuses on even more than finding an antidote so we can finally be together after 400 years of waiting is protecting my soul from the shadow land as far as he's concerned everything else just pales in comparison so yeah Damon just comes right out and says I don't care about anything except ever and she doesn't care about anything except me like they have no personality beyond being in love with each other and willing to sacrifice and fight to protect the other like god that's just that's just boring you know like in addition to kind of being a bad example I guess for young readers which I don't like yeah being totally obsessed with your significant other to the point where you completely cut everything else out of your life is unhealthy yes but I mean I'm not even talking about that so much that's just a boring way to write a story because it leads to boring characters who have no goals or personalities or anything like why would we want to watch these people just be in love you know at this stage you may as well just ended this after the first book and said they lived happily ever after the end you know who has more personality than both of them combined Miles ever's mildly homophobic gay friend like he's been in Italy for the past two books so I haven't really said anything about him also because he doesn't really do anything throughout this series that makes him important but while he was over in Italy he found some old artwork which featured Damon and he figures out that something is up and he confronts him about it and Damon without a whole lot of prompting just admits that he's immortal and Miles takes it pretty well all things considered like he doesn't know about magic or anything but he's just like oh okay the Damon is immortal that's cool and ever offers Miles the elixir so that he can be immortal too but here's the thing he refuses it he says he doesn't want to live forever he says his dream is to be an actor and not because he wants fame or because he wants to make a lot of money he just loves the art form that much and wants to spend his life doing it and that's the thing like this guy is less than nothing to this story like he does nothing of importance throughout all six books and yet he gets this brief moment that completely defines him as a person like he has dreams he has his own way of approaching life that is different than other characters we see like it makes him stand out you know he has an actual personality and even after I have long finished these books I will probably remember that moment with Miles just because it is kind of powerful not gonna lie like if ever had even one or two moments like that spread throughout the whole series this series might genuinely have then a passable read it wouldn't have been great but just changing nothing else and giving ever a little bit of personality would have made this passable instead of trash but there's nothing like that so it's trash now speaking of non-main characters who have an actual personality Hey then so by this point she has taken over the school basically the same way Roman did you know influencing everyone with mind control powers and it does specifically mention that she's used it to have sex with every man that rejected her before which I feel like there's a word for that Haven it starts with an R but she is a villain she's allowed to do some pretty heinous shit like granted this is her becoming way more evil than she was before like just completely out of nowhere but she is the villain so her doing some heinous shit and you're wondering like can the heroes stop her that's fine I just wish that ever had mentioned hey that Haven you're R-wording all those guys that's not okay YouTube demonetization is weird okay I just I don't want to say it because I might get in trouble also Haven has become addicted to the elixir at this stage apparently that's the thing that can happen like she's just been guzzling it down like a beast and it's unhealthy for her so she starts like getting thinner and looking sickly and looking older even though she's not supposed to be changing at all like apparently that can happen but whatever and like this whole bit kind of works because Haven is very clearly on the verge of a mental break after almost losing Roman like she it's done because she barely knew him but it kind of works because she was already having a lot of issues before that like she was clearly a very troubled young woman and okay fine like I it's not great but I am willing to look past it and just in hopes that this will become interesting at some point but everything I'm describing to you here is like two-thirds of the book so obviously no so around the two-thirds mark Haven finally attacks ever when she's alone they fight for a bit and neither of them is very good at it they don't know what they're doing but they're both really strong because again the elixir makes them strong and Haven hits ever in her fifth chakra which is in your throat and apparently that deals with lack of discernment and trusting the wrong people and from what little research I did it's much more complicated than that but that's all the information this book gives so that's it and ever's fifth chakra is her weakest so she dies and then she goes to the shadow realm for one chapter I swear to god she's there for one chapter she sees all her past lives and then she comes to a realization she loves Damon and they are meant for each other how the fuck is that a revelation at this stage we know they're in love right now whatever so this strengthens her last chakra and it brings her back to life like apparently that's just a thing that can happen sure fine whatever that can happen sure so this is whenever Finally realizes that hey the shirt that Roman was wearing has the antidote soaked into it so she tries to sneak into Haven's house to get it and Haven is surprised that she's alive but just like everyone else in this series she doesn't seem that surprised she takes it in stride you know no one is ever truly shocked or anything even when these massive revelations hit them but yeah she has the shirt and she also has Jude she's holding Jude hostage in one hand holding him up by the neck and she's holding the shirt over a fire with her other hand and she tells ever you have to choose one of them and ever decides to finally do a good thing and she saves Jude like she sacrifices her possible future with Damon for somebody else like that is unambiguously a good thing and during all of this Haven somehow dies too because immortality is a joke in this series on the last page they mentioned that ever's night star has disappeared like yeah she had a night star up in the sky that represented something but it was ever's night scar and then they notice that it's gone now which makes me wonder like did that entire solar system just vanish? like that that's what stars are they're suns with planets and shit around them so yes much like the last book there's really just nothing here you know like I kind of liked watching Haven's descent into madness but it's not focused on enough to really matter in any way so that's about all I have to say there so now we will finally move on to the last book in this series which is Everlasting now in some ways this book does improve over the last couple like it is where things get a little bit interesting again you know we learn more about the world we learn more about magic and how all that works ever almost develops a personality even and we finally figure out what's causing her reincarnation and everything at the same time there's no villain in this last book so it feels extremely unfocused like even more unfocused than all the other books have felt like in some ways despite being an improvement in some ways it is the worst of the series so we start off the book with no more threats to ever and Damon they are happy together and they decide yes we are going to be together forever and they plan to after finishing high school in a couple of months they're going to just elope and run off and never talk to anyone they knew here again because if people see them like 30 years down the line they might realize hey you're immortal and Damon has just kind of accepted that they won't break the curse at this point so he's just thinking yeah we're just we're just never going to have sex let's move past it and he thinks to just try and not let it get them down which again is a bizarrely mature way of looking at things but okay I'm fine with it however ever is still convinced that she can find a cure and god the name having your character named ever like that just leads to some very awkward grammar like you know again however ever it's just dumb I don't like it so while they're in summerland they come across a mysterious old woman who is named Lotus and Lotus tells ever about a place to find out her destiny and basically find out why she reincarnates and figure out what caused all of this and Damon doesn't really care about this but ever tries to convince him no no we should look into this and he gives her one week to find something he tells her yep well I'll give you one week to search and after that we're just going to move on past this and forget about it which why the fuck it why give her a time limit like that dude like I get not really wanting to focus on all this and just live your life but that is weird it's just it's a controlling thing to do and I don't like it also like I just need to point this out when they're in summerland they can still kiss and stuff like I assume it's just not their real bodies while they're over there so their DNA mixing won't kill him the curse doesn't affect them so just have sex in summerland like just don't do it in the real world and then do it while you're there like holy shit you people are stupid like this conflict has gone from we can never have sex to we can only have sex when it's at an appropriate time and place which is unlike literally everybody else on earth this sucks also ever has not been home in about two weeks which leaves Sabine to wonder where she is and what's happening to her and even if she's still alive because god ever you are just a callous bitch you know that like you're a terrible person like this woman took you into her home after her family died and like I know your family died but her family died too and you are too focused on Damon's cock to even consider how your actions might hurt her you're a terrible person and I hate that you're the protagonist of this fucking book so ever asks Jude for help and she spends a chapter convincing him to help her kind of guilts him into it by saying hey you're the one that killed Roman even if it was an accident you're the reason we're in this mess and then the next chapter she tells him to leave because she doesn't want him to get hurt that was just a waste of time and it does nothing around one third of the way through this book ever goes to watch visions of her first life like see where she was her soul was first born so she can see where all of this started in her first life she is a girl named Adelina and she lives somewhere in Iberia sometime in the Middle Ages it's not more specific than that like depending on the time period there are a lot of different kingdoms in Iberia both Christian and Muslim ones so I mean I don't know how much sense this really makes but you know she's somewhere in Iberia sometime in the Middle Ages and Adelina ever was in love with Ulrich who was Damon in a past life but because of various medieval politics they are both engaged to be married to other people and these other people play the roles of Drina and she actually does kill Adelina and Jude and nothing really magical happens here it's just that ever is supposed to marry Jude and Drina is supposed to marry Damon and then Drina is jealous and kills ever and that's about it like the only thing ever learns in this sequence is that everything is connected like all living things come from the same energy literally the explanation for why ever keeps reincarnating meeting Damon and then dying is because that's just how things work in this world like people will make the same mistakes in all of their lives over and over again and the same patterns will repeat until they learn their lesson and they move on and become better I don't know how they're supposed to learn and move on if they don't actually remember their past lives either I like it this really feels like the author had no idea what the explanation was going to be and so she just sort of threw something out there and is like look if you are still reading this after six books you fucking deserve to be disappointed like and maybe I did deserve to be disappointed I don't know but yeah this whole sequence lasts like 40 pages and I just just please just end please so in Summerland ever and Damon jump into the river of fate because that'll help them somehow and then ever comes out on the other end of the river okay but Damon like lost his memories or lost his sense of self or something and he died and now he's in the shadow realm so ever goes there and she frees all the trapped immortal souls so ever, Roman, Drina, and or not ever Damon, Drina, Roman, and Haven like she just frees all of them apparently it was just that easy you can just walk into hell and bring your loved ones out with no trouble so and when she interacts with all of their souls though she does see their memories and so she sees Roman's memory of him creating the antidote and so she learns the recipe and then Roman, Drina, and Haven all just hold hands and they run off into the afterlife but Damon just sort of comes back to life death really means nothing in this series I gotta say so the two of them run into the old lotus lady again and I know this sounds like I'm jumping from plot point to plot point without any transition but that's what the book does too it just jumps around like that it is even more disjointed than the earlier ones but it's also disjointed in just a different way so lotus tells ever that she has to find the tree of life the fruit of which will grant enlightenment to anyone who eats it and so ever goes off on the journey to find the tree without Damon because Damon is a shitty boyfriend and doesn't want to go she wanders through summer land for a very long time and she can't really use magic there so she has to rely on like supplies that she manifested before she went into that area and if that sounds like it might be kind of interesting because you're restricting the character and what she can do and forcing her to rely on her wits well she doesn't really run into any threats at least not until the very end so it's uh it's not interesting trust me so while she is on her way there when she's close to the tree she runs into Roman's immortal followers yeah you remember them? of course you don't remember them but they're they're here and they also want the fruit from the tree because without Roman there they have no source of elixir of immortality and they're dying and they think okay if we eat the fruit then we will know how to make it and so they just walk along for a while and then they see the tree off in the distance it's like really big and impressive and magical looking I'm just I'm imagining some sort of urge tree looking thing but because the tree only produces one fruit every thousand years the others realize okay we don't need ever to find this anymore and we're gonna want it so they grab her and throw her off a cliff into an infinite abyss of nothingness but despite falling for several minutes ever manages to grab a tree root and she climbs back up and the others are all racing to the fruit while this is happening and one guy gets it before the others and eats it and ever is really sad and stuff but the thing is as soon as he picks it they notice another fruit appears because it turns out that the tree gives one fruit per person every thousand years so there's no actual conflict here and there's no consequences forever failing to reach the tree in time it's just they think it's a competition then they get there and they realize oh we're all winners anytime this series accidentally has some narrative tension or consequences it just throws them away without any ceremony so because there's nothing to fight over everyone just agrees to share and ever grabs several to take back home and she eats one for herself and eating the fruit cures her of her immortality turns it back into a regular person but it also teaches her that normally your body is mortal and your soul is immortal so you know you can die but then your soul goes to the afterlife but when you drink the elixir your body is immortal and your soul is mortal and again I kind of went over this already but your soul is already immortal because your soul still exists in a conscious form forever it's just in the shadow realm like if your soul was actually mortal it would just erase you from existence after you died like that doesn't make sense that's not what immortality means but yeah again eating the fruit makes them all mortal again and despite wanting to stay immortal before everyone who ate it is just kind of cool with that and they all go home and then ever goes home and this is actually like 60 pages before the end of the book like this just goes on for a while after this Ever finally tells Sabine about magic and about how she's immortal and she convinces Damon to eat the fruit too and he does and he is no longer immortal we also learned that time works differently where she was so well to her it only felt like she was gone a few days in on earth about six months have passed and she uses magic to convince her school not to fail her out so she can still graduate and then she throws another costume party even though it's May like you know the last one was for Halloween so that made sense but I'm not sure why you're doing it in May but first I need to come up with some kind of come as you were costume and for someone with seven previous lives to choose from you'd think that choice would be easy I mean should I go as Adelina the life I just learned about Evelyn the Parisian servant Abigail the daughter of a Puritan Chloe the spoiled young socialite Fleur the artist muse Amala the sad little slave girl or should I go as all of them um ever I have just a little bit of advice for you do not go to a costume party dressed up as a black slave people might take that poorly so ever and Damon finish high school without any real trouble and then they just decide that they want to live the rest of their mortal lives together you know they're not going to live forever but they'll live a couple more decades and they just want to be together traveling following their dreams etc like they don't specifically say they want children but you can assume maybe they'll have some at some point and the book just ends with them getting on a plane to Italy together so that Damon can show her the place he's from and that's it you know the ending is extremely subdued you know like the first book had a subdued ending but this one is much more so because it took so much longer to get there and it builds to nothing you know what what was this building towards did any did either of them have any dreams or anything besides wanting to be together no not at all like the only plot threads that stay around for very long are the question of why there's reincarnation and the curse where they can't have sex and the one where they can't have sex just drags on forever to the point where I stopped caring and just wanted it to freaking end the other one is literally nothing like the answer to why she kept getting reincarnated is that there is no answer but I mean the souls of the other people who were involved went to the afterlife so I guess she doesn't have to worry about that anymore like it it's almost fascinating in how unsatisfactory that is you know like you you build up this question and then it's not even that the answer is stupid it's that there literally is no answer that's just it's fascinating it really is now I mentioned before that ever and Damon don't have any real chemistry you know they don't have negative chemistry they don't seem like they hate each other they just don't seem like they like each other you know there's no romantic moments between them other than one or two small ones in the first book like the uh thing where they went to Disneyland for a bit kind of worked and that ending after she killed Dreena at the climax of the first book also seems kind of romantic but after the first book there's nothing like they don't even go on dates or anything like the only threats to their love are external it's not their own character flaws or anything it's oh no bad guys we need to fight bad guys you know and these threats are not that threatening they really aren't like not being able to have sex is not the end of the world I get it it sucks I've repeated this multiple times but it's not the end of the world one small positive here is that this story takes place over the course of months like a lot of stuff in this genre this entire thing would have happened over the course of like two weeks and it would have been really stupid that people would seem like they had fallen in love that completely and excuse me in that short amount of time whereas in this like having a more extended time period it makes a bit more sense that characters could fall in love like that so that's okay that is a little better than it otherwise could be but it's still not great one thing I do want to bring up that admittedly is small but still irked me is that there's a lot of Hindu slash Buddhist elements here you know like there's a lot of talk of reincarnation and characters talk about the chakras and stuff like that which deal excuse me which tie into Hinduism and Buddhism but there are absolutely there's no exploration of those philosophies there's no exploration of those themes at all like I'm not an expert on either of those religions or anything associated with them but if they had gone into some sort of detail about it and been like okay yes this is the Hindu approach to life then that might have been kind of cool and it might have helped the series stand out a little bit you know just like that's something there there's a little bit of potential there but that they did nothing with it the story here is I mean it's it's nothing you know you can see how much friggin paper they wasted and there's just the story is nothing there's a series of subplots with very little through line and it's kind of weird because I have now done three series with this exact premise like this premise where an immortal slash supernatural boy falls in love with a mortal girl and then she just keeps dying and then reincarnating and then meeting him falling in love and then dying and reincarnating over and over and over again like I it's I did it with evermore I did it with elixir and I did it with fallen like there are some small differences between them like for example fallen is about angels that's specifically fallen angels and the other two are about the elixir of immortality and alchemy and magic and stuff but they are very much the same story or at least the very similar setup for the story like in elixir the love interest is even from italy just like daemon is in this series it's weirdly similar and weirdly enough as bad as this series was fallen did the explanation for why there's this reincarnation cycle the best and again it was still really dumb like the reason was just God is a dick how do they break the cycle they just ask God really nicely and he releases them from their curse with the others there was literally no explanation like in evermore that's just how things work and in elixir they just say yep there's a curse they don't say how they know it's there they don't say how it's broken or anything there's there is a curse and honestly if I had to rank those three series in terms of competence then fallen is the best like it's a bad series but it is better written than the others because at the very least it made me think that it would get good later you know throughout the whole series I was thinking okay something interesting and good will happen right and then it just never did and then evermore is the second most competently written and then elixir is by far the worst and frankly when fallen is better than you that is just sad like at the very least that series was kind of intriguing with the questions you know why is this reincarnation thing happening and I didn't hate most of the characters you know there were one or two that were really obnoxious but most of them were just there I didn't hate them but in spite of not being as good as fallen as competently written as fallen I would say evermore is for the funniest you know it is the most enjoyable out of all of them because it has the most insane shit like the only thing in fallen that comes kind of close is the revelation that a love triangle caused hell to be created but elixir is almost as funny as evermore but it's also much much shorter and much easier to get through like I was not quite begging for death while reading elixir the way I was when reading evermore and I have to wonder how this bizarrely specific idea took off like this bizarrely specific immortal man reincarnating girlfriend idea took off so hard that we had three series two of which were fairly popular that had the exact same setup like maybe there were some authors writing in this genre who realized that a centuries old man dating a teen girl is kind of creepy and so they tried to bridge that gap by saying oh well she's actually older than she seems and she's known him for a long time so it's okay and honestly that seems like the exact same mindset as the people who say well technically she's a 3000 year old vampire even though she looks like a little girl so it's fine for me to masturbate to her like it seems like the same mindset to me like either embrace the creepiness and just acknowledge that it's gonna turn some people off or just eliminate it you know he could be a supernatural boy who's about her age like Damon could have been just a magical boy who was only like 18 years old and then he meets ever and you wouldn't have to change that much like you could make it so they both die and reincarnate that's an idea I honestly can't even see that many ways in which this series could be made good like I mentioned a few points that you could maybe fix up a little bit but there's not much you can do here like there's so little to work with because the plot is I mean well you know by now like the plot is almost non-existent at a lot of stages so there's just not much for me to work with like so many other entries in this genre this series is just painfully formulaic I mean a girl meets a supernatural boy in the first book they fall in love right away and then mayhem ensues and they have to fight some sort of threat except not really you know even like in evermore or other stuff like that even when they bring up some cool ideas which might be kind of fun to explore or some darker themes which would be maybe a little disturbing and difficult to get through but could also be fun to explore they're just too afraid of themselves to commit and do anything with them and so they just wind up doing the same shit over and over again the only difference is being how insane can they make their world-building like that's the main reason I keep reading these things is because well it's just really funny to watch how nutty they get now a few months ago I read a twilight clone called Elemental and granted I might be stretching the definition of twilight clone of bits because the first book definitely is one but then the later ones kind of go off and do a different thing but anyways the point is that series was genuinely pretty good and it was good because it had darker parts to it you know it wasn't afraid to say okay sometimes life sucks and there was a massive threat to these characters and their lives are in real danger and at the same time every character in that series had a lot of depth and development almost to its detriment at times because it spends a lot of time dealing with side characters who didn't need this much development but still all of them have a lot of depth to them like we know their dreams we know their fears we know their past traumas we know what their relationships are like with other people not just with their significant others but with their siblings their families their friends like it's complicated and it's deep but it took that formula and it mixed it up a bit and as by doing so it made something that was unique and what made it good you know there's a reason why uh it looks or it looks goddamn and all these names are blending together there's a reason that Elemental is pretty much the only good Twilight clone I've ever read and part of that is just because I'm not really the target audience but even then if even if I'm not the target audience I can at least see how it uh performs in that genre and I can criticize or praise it based on how well it does that but yeah these other ones are just too afraid to do anything different at all and I get that the formula is what attracted a lot of people to this genre but you can still do something with it like there are a lot of stagnant genres that are revitalized by playing around with the tropes you know for example Epic Fantasy was made better by stuff like Game of Thrones and Mistborn which take that idea of this epic fantasy world where you fight the Dark Lord and they turn it on its head in some ways but then they play it completely straight in other ways or I mentioned Isakai anime a little bit earlier those are also pretty much the exact same thing over and over again but we do occasionally get stuff like Re Zero which does something very different with the same setup and as such it becomes way bigger way more popular and way well just better it just becomes way better because of that like if evermore or Fallen or any of these other ones I've covered or any of the other ones I haven't covered if any of them had just mixed things up a little bit they could have been almost as big and iconic as Twilight I really mean that they like the authors could have made boatloads of money and influence pop culture for years if not decades to come like they could have done that like off the top of my head just some ideas that they could use or maybe you could use if you want to write something like this to just to mix things up a little bit the love interest is acknowledged as abusive partway through the series and becomes a villain I mentioned that earlier the main character has dreams other than marriage and children and her being in a relationship with her love interest might upend those dreams so she has to wonder like okay do I even really want to be with this guy if it's going to derail my life just as an example make the villains have a point or make the villains have a real reason to want the characters dead besides hating the fact that they're in love or hell just make it so a magical girl meets a normal boy like I know the halo series did that but that series also does like nothing with it so you know you could still take that same basic idea and do something but I don't know if you don't want to do something different if you just want to do the exact same thing that so many other people have done then just admit that you're trash you know be short be a dumb jaunt instead of trying to be deep and complex and be a real treatise on what love is like and everything you know I think if this had just been the one book with the story it would have been okay you know because it would have been short and it wouldn't have outstated welcome and it would have been dumb and everything but it also would have been what the audience is looking for in a lot of ways you know Twilight has undergone a renaissance in the past few years where it's become popular again and people are talking about it again because it knew what it was and it succeeded at it you know it was dumb but it was just a little romance story about a girl and a guy who happened to be a vampire that Stephanie Meyer felt like writing you know Evermore is destined to only ever be known by weirdos like me who find it funny you know like it's never going to really take off and be mainstream the way Twilight did so my final verdict is imagine if you had a bowl of ice cream and shit and you ate it and the ice cream was delicious but in order to get to the ice cream you also had to eat the shit that was in the bowl that is basically whatever more is like if that if that metaphor makes sense you know this comes pretty close at times to being a perfect bad book series but the length and honestly just how horrible a lot of the character actions are it just kills a lot of my enjoyment you know like I can't get as into all the insane shit because it's just so long and because Ever and Damon and everyone else are just so awful like I think you could fix this series or at least fix a lot of the problems with this series just by condensing it you know not really changing that much but condensing it you know leave book one as is and then combine books two and three which is where Roman enters the picture they get the curse where they can't have sex put on them and then Haven becomes immortal like just combine those cut out all the fat and then combine books four and five which is where Roman dies and they try to get the antidote from Haven for a little while and then she's evil and then they kill her like just combine all that because both those books are just largely nothing in terms of story and then leave book six as is you know just leave that as it is like that wouldn't be amazing but it would be much better and you would get through it much much quicker so yeah even for someone who has done this sort of thing a lot like I've read a lot of bad book series and I've read a lot of bad young adult paranormal romance book series but evermore slash the immortals was just hard to get through even for me you know but at the same time at the same time I would do it again I I would like the funny weird bits were just some of the best funny weird bits I've ever come across like I have never read any book series where one of the main characters wears magical condoms before so like that's the reason I like reading bad books so much you know they they leave me baffled they leave me annoyed they leave me laughing sometimes they leave me pining for what could have been when I see little glimpses of potential sprinkled throughout but whatever they leave me pining for they're always entertaining so for my next long review I actually have a lot of ideas a lot of things I could do I'm not I'm not going to do like a formal poll on Twitter or on YouTube or anything like that so just if any of these titles appeal to you just let me know down below which ones you want me to cover because I I got a bunch of these that I could do there's blue bloods and this one is also paranormal young adult romance but this one's about vampires and angels and immortal humans so ooh mixing it up a little there's also angel fire and this and blue bloods are actually the last of that massive pile of angel romance books I bought several years ago so if I don't know if you want me to get through those anytime soon just let me know because I mean I have a giant backlog of bad books I could get through but I'll never be able to get to all of them so you know leave comments and stuff if you want me to hit those you know me I also love bad celebrity books so I also recently got ghost flight which apparently Bear Grills tried writing a book you know the man versus wild guy like he he tried writing a book also Talon of God because Wesley Snipes tried writing a book you know the guy that played blade and also possibly abused Halle Berry while they were together I said possibly don't sue me there's also life as we know it which is an apocalyptic young adult novel which is all about how the moon comes closer to earth and then the earth ends somehow I don't know I heard that one was really dumb and I just saw it for cheap so I was like why not let's give it a shot then there's Shiver which is Twilight but for furries more explicitly for furries you know it's about werewolves instead of vampires but in this world like werewolves stay as wolves most of the time so like the main character is just in love with an animal it's like I don't know it's weird and then there's also wither which is a book that takes place in a world where everyone dies young so there's an excuse for teenagers to be in charge and women have to get like kidnapped and kept as members of harems so that they can breed them and keep humanity alive you know it's this one was more the post-apocalyptic dystopian young adult boom that was big after the twilight knockoff boom but you know that's a thing I also have Red Queen which I don't actually know much about what that one's about now that I'm thinking about it but I do have a copy over here somewhere it's buried behind stuff but I do have a copy and people have wanted me to make fun of that one for a while so I don't know let me know and I may as well just say this now I'm not doing a court of thorns and roses okay it's not because I think it's too horrible and I'll never get through it and you'll get to laugh at me suffering or anything like that it's just that it's been overdone you know I I myself have already seen multiple other videos on youtube where people cover the different books in that series and make fun of them and I have laughed at them and you know Akatar seems like it is a funny series but number one I just don't want to read any more Sarah J Maas because Throne of Glass was miserable to get through it was not nearly as fun as something like evermore but yeah so I just don't want to read more Sarah J Maas and Akatar has already been overdone a lot so I'm not doing that one don't ask me but you know all those others and if you have any other possible terrible books that I might that you might want to see me cover just let me know down below you know I'm not doing a poll again I'm just going based off of vibes you know what seems popular and what I also feel like doing most of all now I'm giving you all of those examples because I want a more chill shorter project you know because I I just did evermore which was a really big one that was kind of difficult to get through and I want to try and break it up by doing a smaller easier to get through one like because you know I did the fifth sorceress and then I did this and those were both really big series obnoxious so hopefully my next one will be easier to get through and I already know what I'm doing after that one you see this one might be more more of a pain because I recently discovered there is a book written by a Texan doctor who thinks that dragons are real and also writes propaganda for the Russian government in his spare time so join me in six months or however long it takes me to get done with Leviathan by RM Huffman that one I've read the sample pages on Amazon let me tell you it's it's a masterpiece it's a masterpiece but that one is months down the road though and it'll be after my next project so just let me know what you want to see next huge thanks to everyone who watched this whole thing all of my nonsense that I put out there it's appreciated and a huge thanks to all my patrons as well especially my $10 up patrons whose names are Apo Savalainen Olivia Rayan Brother Santotys Buffy Valentine Carolina Clay Dan Anceliovic Dark King Dio Echo Flax Great Griebo Johnny St. Clair Karkat Kitsune Eliza Rudikova Lord Tiebreaker Microphone Mist Boy Peep the Toad Robbie Reviews Sad Martigan Celia the Vixen Stone Stairs Tesla Shark Vevictus and Wesley and of course everyone else whose names you see here if you want to get your name put on here consider becoming a patron and if you don't feel like doing that you can also like be a channel member or just like the video and subscribe you know share it around help help more people see my genius I'm not appreciated enough anyways see you later bye