 I am Curtis, a totally legit news reporter, reporting the news here on your TV. I totally buy it, Curtis. Yay! In what some are calling a spur-of-the-moment decision, my writing stables too, a new adventure, just released on Nintendo Switch, which has left gamers around the world asking, will Wood from Beat'em-Ups quit stalling and play this new game? More on this story as it trots along. No, no, no, no, no, this game, I can't do enough. What's wrong? You sound a little... Horse. Horses, you know? Horse. Well, I never thought it'd end up back here again. My writing stables, Life with Horses, a terrible game that we reviewed back in 2019. We had some laughs, we shed some tears, and we all tried to move on with our lives. And then this, they made a sequel. My writing stables too, a new adventure. I actually had to make my own cover art this time because they only released it digitally. I guess they didn't have faith that they would sell any physical copies. Can't imagine why. Well, giddy up. That's a relief. The music doesn't make me wanna shove nails into my ears. The first game had awful audio issues. They've really stepped up the production value here. Even with the character customization, I have so many options now. Let's try to actually make me this time. Yeah, close enough. I mean, yeah, my hair isn't that short, but it's not like they're gonna allow me to actually make me in the game. There's enough studs already. Horseboy. Cause that's what I wanna be. I wanna be a horseboy. Yeah, well, okay, let me clarify. I wanna be a boy with horses. Yeah, yeah, I don't wanna be like a boy with a horse head. Or anything silly like that. They actually designed new breeds of horses this time. Remember last time I complained that the different breeds were just the same horse model. They were making larger or smaller. It looks like independent art software is actually listening. Yay! Do not like the way that horse is. Fuck, I'm staring at me. Thank you, just quit looking at me. What a boy, named Horseboy. Name is Boy Horse. Jerry, I think. It just kinda looks like a Jerry. We're gonna be best friends, Jerry. Nothing bad is ever gonna happen here. For shadowing. Hello, Horseboy here, bringing you the latest in Nintendo Switch news. The newest free Nintendo Switch game, Skyforge, is now available to download on your console. Skyforge is a sci-fi action MMORPG where you play as an immortal with amazing celestial powers. Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Tearing up with players around the world to explore and defend a massive, constantly evolving universe. Hey, don't mind if I do. Players who compete in the tutorial will receive six amazing gifts but only for a limited time. So don't canter Gallop to your nearest eShop and download this game today. The best part is the world of Skyforge is completely free. No Nintendo Switch online subscription is required and all future updates and content will also be free. Well, other than the cool cosmetic stuff, you know, these games have to make their money somehow. So join me, Horseboy, and exploring the world of Alior. Click the link in the description to get playing and receive awesome in-game rewards and gifts. That's all from me, Horseboy. Now, back to the video. Restore your horse farm to former glory, a tale as old as time itself, or at least as old as all of these horse games because every single one I've played has had this exact same premise and I've played a lot of horse games. Three, if this looks better or worse than the last game. I mean, I guess it does look better, but the last game was just so bright and full of color, it's different, not exactly getting nominated for Best Visuals. And the winner is my riding stables two, a new adventure. Well, thank you so much. I don't even know what to begin. I don't know who to thank. I mean, of course my horse, Jerry, I wouldn't be here without Jerry. I want to thank my mom. I want to, and of course myself, your horse boy. I want, a man horse. Horse boy. This is the exact same starting area as the first game. Yeah, yeah, everything's in the same place. The house, the farm, even the horse field. Wait, hold on. That task list. Yeah, that's the same as the first game as well. Hold up a minute. Did they just slap a new coat of paint on the old game and re-release the same crappy horse game? Well, if it ain't broke, try to fix it anyway. Apparently, even though it's just me and my one horse out here, without another form of life to be seen. I'm not saying exactly what I can. Jerry still trusts me, the same amount that I trust my toaster not to burn my bread. All right, now you listen here toaster. If that is even your real name, if you burn this bread, I swear to God, you are out in the trash can. I want toast, T-O-A-S-T, toast. I want butter on it, like jam on it, I want it to taste good. This is what it calls, this is what you want to try. Do you want to try? You know, sometimes I think I'm being too hard on the toaster. It is just a toaster after all. It's not like you can understand anything that I'm saying. I should get him a present. I should get him, I'll get him toast. Oh, fuck that, dang it. Where was I? Eh, this, yeah, I remember this. You got a clean brush and scraped doo-doo from its feet rings. They really streamlined this part of the game. Now it's pretty easy and only takes a few moments. In this one, it took longer than cleaning a real horse. And I know because I am one. What keeps happening? Rename horse? I would never, Jerry is the perfect horse name. Oh, sell your horse. Oh, where did I get these new boots? I guess you could say I recently made a lot of money on the glue market. Oh, God, no, no, I mean the glue mobile market. My stock prices have skyrocketed lately. All right, that's enough horsing around. It's time to saddle up. Oh, wow, they actually animated that. That's a nice touch. I mean, it was shit, but it's a nice touch. Oh, wow. This is an improvement. In the first game, you could only ride your horses during the Racing Hurdles minigame that was locked behind a load screen in its own separate area. This time around, you can jump on anywhere and ride around the open world. Yes, that's right, I said the open world. From the country roads, to the beach, to the winding mountain paths, you can just get on up and explore the world to your heart's content. And ah! They actually made the hurdles automatically leap this time around. You did it, electronic hearts! You really did it! Ooh! Hold on a minute, what's this? I can see markers throughout the land that'll trigger challenges and races in the game world and I have it as a treasure chest. I just found 100 credits. Oh, God, am I actually having fun? Stop that, stop it right now. You have to hate this game, remember? That's what the people want. They want you to hate it. They want you to love it. Ooh! Well, I need to get back to town, but the bridge is broken and I don't want to go all the way around, so I wonder if there's a way to fix... Oh, you can. You can fix things around the farm with the credits that you find and you earn them now, I'm not having fun. I am not having fun. No fun, no fun. Yeah, look, we still have the trees popping in and out as I'm riding along, but the game is running so smooth and so fast this time around. They've actually made improvements. I feel bad picking on it again. I mean, compare it to this. Although I do kind of miss the hilariously broken riding animation that wouldn't stop when you hit the pause button, but Vegas can't be choosers. Okay. All right, I don't want to toot my own horn here. Oh, assume that any of the improvements in this game are because of my video that I made back in 2019, but compare this house to the old one. Rather than getting confused and stuck on walls with the broken camera and resident-enabled tank controls, it's all set on a side-scrolling view and you can easily navigate your way around this frankly gorgeous home, by the way. Good for you, horse boy. Make your glue money. But at what point do I start to think that maybe, just maybe, my video influenced a lot of the changes in this game? Let's go through all the things I complained about that are fixed this time around. The cover-up. They fixed that by having no cover-up. The switch icon not having the name of the game in it. Fixed. Horrible music quality in the title screen. Fixed. Different breeds actually only being different sizes of the same horse. Fixed. The next button looping in the menus. Fixed. The tank controls, as I said. Fixed. The new house. Fixed. They even complained that I couldn't find my horse in the first game and now they've put a waypoint directing to it. Fixed. Cleaning and maintaining the horses takes seconds rather than minutes. Say it with me now. Fixed. Animation loops. Jumping hurdles. The frame rates. Fixed. Fixed. Fixed. This game is an actual game now. I'm gonna keep playing it. You know, to see if I can find anything wrong with it. Not because I'm having fun or anything. Now there's more rooms in the house. There's a library where you can read books to advance your horse boy skills. And there's a PC where you can buy new horse boy hats. Well, obviously. Also food and medicine for the horses, new books, even new horses. I gotta say, I love some of these horse names. We have Silky, Ice Ice Baby, Cream Pie. Don't. Oh, and that's all my gruelling tasks done for the day. The last thing I have to do is pick a simple carrot. And whoa, just like that, my ranch has the same rating as a golden corral. Now I just gotta work towards getting a two star. That means I have a whole new list of tasks. One of which wants me to buy a new horse. So I'll just go inside and now I bought Cream Pie. Next, I fixed up the breeding room. So now I can pick either of my two horses and make them do a dance with a lady horse and then we'll get a baby horse. The question is, who do I pick to get down a business? Jerry or Cream Pie? You're a dad, Jerry! You did it! Look at little Jerry Jr. He's so cute, he's so little. It's Jerry, but he's tiny to tiny Jerry. Sweet, love him. So up to here, it's been all well and good. And I'd be lying if I didn't admit there was an element of enjoyment to be had, ever. Turns out the next task wants me to complete all three Sunday race events, but it only lets you compete in one a week. Now, an efficient everyday gamer like myself, I am done with the rest of the tasks right now. I've explored the whole world, found all the chests, done all my other tasks, but I still have two weeks left. So I decided to do what I usually do when I get depressed and just sleep for a week straight. And as usual, that solved nothing and actually make things a whole lot worse. Jerry is sick now. Jerry, no! Oh, I guess you really do have to care, clean and feed them every day or else they die. Jesus, it's a kids game. Won't somebody please think of the children? Or me? Or Jerry? Okay, it's no problem. You know, Jerry's my guy, I've got his back. We already know that we can order medicine from the PC, so I'll order some medicine and I'll shoot Jerry up with the good stuff and he's still sick, why? Jerry, what's wrong? Boy, speak to me, Jerry, what do you need? So it wants me to give him more medicine, but it only lets me give it to him once a day. Not a problem. It's gonna be okay. I'll just, I'll sleep off today, wake up early tomorrow and I'll give Jerry some more medicine. Here we go, a second helping of the good stuff. You can beat this, I know you can. Jerry, why are you still sick? Jerry, why? Not now, Cream, this Jerry, I know you will. You have a son, little Jerry Jr. I know you haven't met him yet because you're sick and the game won't let me take you out of this table or leave and clean you, so just sit there dirty, stinky and smelly and focus on getting better for your son, Jerry, for your son and then as soon as you're well, I'll take you both out into the fields and you'll play catch together or whatever it is that horses do when they're out and about and having fun, but Jerry, please, just focus on beating this, focus on getting better. It's one more sweet. So I decided to do what I used to do when I get depressed and just sleep for a week. Jerry is sick now, boss, boy. What's wrong, boy? Speak to me, Jerry, what do you need? What's this, Jerry, why? What's this, get it? I wanna be all yours, boy. Rise and shine, it's the cell, little Jerry Jr. It made me sell little Jerry Jr. It said there was no room in the stable, room, there's plenty of room. We have a yard, the stable, hell, it's little Jerry we're talking about. I would have given him my house. Why didn't you tell me before I bred the horse there was no room for the horse? He never even got to meet his father and his father is dying. How do I break the news to Jerry? I worked so hard to build his trust over these weeks and then I get him sick and ill this? He never even got to meet his own son. Well, I guess I only have one option. I'm so sorry, sweet Jerry, I must confess. Me, what can I do to make this up to you? You're sick and don't feel very hot some month. Mean the stock market, I swear it was an accident. Sorry, Jerry, t-shirt, you can buy it. It's got Jerry, me, sorry, Jerry.