 Ladies and gentlemen, the flight from Paris to Bangkok is now ready for boarding. In New York. Please make your way down. We would like to warn you that there is currently a category 5 hurricane destroying and killing everything in its path. Every single flight is now grounded. Except for this one. Please board your flight. Please present your boarding pass and passport for boarding. Thank you. Hi. Hello. Here you go. No. What do you mean? That's not you. The person on here looks depressed. You look happy. Please come back when you're depressed. The flight CS573... No, wait. The... CS62... Wait. 962 is delayed. The flight is slightly delayed. Due to our captain being intoxicated, aka drunk as f***, the local police has been dispatched to take his sorry ass to jail. Apologies for its ghetto behavior. Peace out, y'all. Keep your rear in the hood, y'all. Passengers traveling with children, please don't forget to get some duct tape before boarding the flight. You don't have any children, sir. What if I sit next to one? The terrorist disguised as a doctor is now requested to board the plane. Save death, sir. Ladies and gentlemen, I just realized that the flight is unfortunately overbooked. So a few of you will be upgraded to first class. I am really, really sorry for this inconvenience. I understand that this is not the way you guys planned it. I really apologize on behalf of the company. Ladies and gentlemen, it appeared I was joking and that there are no upgrades after all. Audio hopes are now being crushed. Boom. Passengers sitting in zone 1, please board now. Followed by all passengers sitting in the front. First class passengers, please follow the red carpet to your seats. You are amazing. Your life is amazing. OMG, I love you so much. You are God. Business class passengers, please proceed to board. I also love you and I also wish you an amazing trip with us. Economy class? Yeah, find your own seats and please don't touch the interior. It's kind of new. We don't like dirt. Please don't bother our flight attendant. They've had enough of your shit. You smell. Thank you for playing with us. Accept economy. You keep the business going, but you're disgusting. Oh, what the f*** do you want? I'm not in an economy class. What? Would you like to drink, sir? Some champagne? Let me see that boarding pass. You are in economy plus. So you can have champagne. Brace ginger ale. I love you. Also f*** you. Please board and die.