 Hollywood, California, Monday, August 24th. The Lux Radio Theater presents Jack O'Kee and Helen 12 Trees in one Sunday afternoon. Lux presents Hollywood. Tonight you will meet Hollywood through such famous personalities as Jack O'Kee, Helen 12 Trees, Alan Hale, Cecil B. DeMille, Agnes Ayres, Mrs. Evelyn Offield, and Mr. Lewis Silvers, conductor of the Lux Radio Theater Orchestra, brought to you by the makers of Lux Toilet Soap, the beauty care preferred by 9 out of 10 of Hollywood's leading stars and attractive women everywhere. A distinguished audience awaits our play tonight. Seated before me are three of Motion Picture's newest stars, June Lange, Muriel Evans, and the leading citizen of Van Bure Arkansas, Bob Burns. Greetings to all from Lux. Nothing is so important to loveliness as smooth, clear skin. Just remember that while Lux Toilet Soap is fine enough for movie star complexions, it is so inexpensive that any girl anywhere can buy and use it all the time. Keep your skin fresh, smooth, and delicately fragrant with the gentle, active lather of Lux Toilet Soap. And now let me turn you over to our producer. He brings to radio stars and plays of the same great caliber that have established him as the world's outstanding contributor to Motion Picture's. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight's play begins one quiet Sunday afternoon in a small Missouri town. So does the story of tonight's star, Jack Oakey. Only in Jack's case the afternoon wasn't so quiet. He claims to yell louder than any baby born in Sedalia, Missouri. But he says he had a reason for yelling. He arrived just too late for Sunday dinner. Jack spent most of his boyhood in Oklahoma but accompanied his mother to New York when she joined the faculty of the Scudder School for Girls. New Yorkers didn't care for his real name, Offield, so they shortened Oklahoma and called him Oakey. He's used a name ever since. As a telephone operator in Wall Street, Jack received the tip that made him a fortune. The tip was that he get out of Wall Street and go on the stage. Within a few months he was a song and dance man on Broadway. When pictures began to talk, he thought they were talking to him. So he responded by coming to Hollywood. Jack has been at Paramount for nine years. At present he's a promoter in Champagne Waltz. He's also been a sailor, an aviator, a press agent, a cowboy, and a college student. In fact, as a college student, he's in a class by himself because he never went to college. So tonight I've given him a degree in dentistry and the leading part. That of Dr. Biff Grimes. I've long believed him capable of more than straight comedy, and the serious parts of tonight's play will give Jack his first real opportunity to prove me right or wrong. Our other star tonight is Miss Helen 12 Trees. Helen studied to become a painter, but she transferred her art from canvas to the stage and had already starred in such successes as an American tragedy in Broadway when she was spotted by a talent scout and brought into films. Miss 12 Trees has just returned from Melbourne, where she was the first American actress to play the lead in a picture filmed in Australia. She appears tonight in the role of Amy in One Sunday Afternoon, written by James Hagan. We hear it now in the Lux Radio Theatre, starring Jack Oakey with Helen 12 Trees. It's a stifling Sunday afternoon, late in August. In Biff Grimes' tiny office, he and his old friend Snappy Downer are growing sentimental about old times, recalling the songs of their younger days. Biff, middle-aged and slightly gray, sits sprawled in his dentist's chair, silently regarding the red-nosed Snappy, who leads off with a chorus of an old favorite. It was there. You were 16. You were 16. The village queen. Oh, baby, what a voice. You see, that little woman doesn't understand Snappy. Nothing artistic about her. You know, Biff, I used to have a good voice. So did you. You sing something. Sing something. Say, listen, you brought over the refreshments to say after noon, Biff Grimes wants to be entertained. Biff Grimes, the well-known dentist of Hillsdale, was entertained on Sunday afternoon by Snappy Downer, the man who sells fish and crabs at Duncan's Market. Go on, Snappy, another little song. Say, Biff, I know a PIP. Good. You know, I used to sing it with a harp effect, but I busted the harp. That's fine. You know, you like this song, Biff. In the good old summer time. In the good old summer time. I said, cut it out. I don't like that song. Yeah, what's the matter with it? Well, it brings up something. Well, I just don't like it. See, I don't want to hear it. Okay, okay. Don't get sore. Oh, forget it. Say, listen, I got a song that's up for you. Give me a note. Yeah, which one? Anyone. Biff Grimes ain't particular. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Put on your rock. Start again. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Put on your old grave. Bun it with the blue ribbons on it. Then we'll hitch old stop into the sleigh. Biff. Yes, Amy. Do you want me to come in there? You don't want to see my wife through your snappy? No, no. Never mind, honey. Say where you are. Making all that racket. If I hear any more, I'll come in there and put you both out of the house. All right. All right, honey. You see what I have to put up with? It's a shame. Man can't have a little peace and comfort in his own home. You know what ought to be in the marriage laws. What? Am I right? Right. Good old snappy. Ha, ha. Snappy. Remember when we was kids? Remember Rabie's amusement park? How long ago was that? Oh, it must have been 108 years ago or so. There was you and me, Beansie Miller and Hugo Barnstead. Yeah, Hugo Barnstead. And Virginia Brush. You know, you were stuck on her, Biff. No, I wasn't. Oh, yes, she was. Yes, she was. You was in love with her. You used to sing. In the good old summer time. In the good old. I know, I know. I used to sing this song just because Virginia liked it. You know, she was a swell girl. But Virginia was. Hugo stole her away from you, remember? Ah, that Hugo was just a plain everyday skunk. I never did like him. But I'd have married Virginia if it hadn't been for him. He stole her away from me. It's an awful thing for a skunk to steal another man's girl. Yeah, I never did. It ain't right. Virginia never cared for him, no how. I was the one she was nuts about. Hugo Barnstead. Oh, I'd like to get my hands on him. What I wouldn't do to him. Yeah, you're not jealous, are you, Biff? Say, Biff Grimes is too big a man to get jealous over anybody. Anyway, have my god, Amy, haven't we been married for... Oh, shucks. I didn't care nothing about Virginia. Yeah, what'd you say if I told you there was in town? What? Yeah, to stop in the hotel, across the street. Virginia and Hugo? Yep. Have a swell car too. Say, they must have plenty of money. Hugo's president of a bank, so I heard. Yeah? Did you see Virginia? Sure. Oh, she looks swell. But Hugo, he looks kind of billiards. You know, you're the one. She should have married Biff. Well, maybe you're right. That dirty, sneaky little rat. All my life, Hugo Barnstead has stuck his nose around. I'll get even one of these days. Sure, and he'll deserve it too. Sing me a song, Snappy. Yeah, sad music or comic. Better make it sad and sootha. Sad, all right. You know, I always cry when I sing this one. Goodbye, little girl, goodbye. Don't cry, little girl, don't cry. In my uniform... Tell my doctors out of town. Hello. Hello, the doctor's out of town. Did you get that, Biff? Snappy Downer himself, yes? Sir. Rat. Huh? Uh, Hugo Barnstead. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, you should have married Virginia Biff. I didn't know it. Say, what is this? Hello. Say, didn't I just tell you that... Who? Oh, hello, Dick. Yeah, this is Snappy. Oh, yeah? Yeah, wait a minute. He's Dick Martin from the hotel. Man over there got a toothache. Yeah, give me the phone. Hello, Dick. Yeah, this is Biff. No, it's Sunday. I never work on Sunday. Besides, they may not go out for a little walk. Huh? I don't care if it's important. Biff grinds important too. Thank, President, who cares? What names you say? Barn... Hey, Snappy, yeah? It's Hugo Barnstead. No. Oh, hello, Dick. Yeah, I'll see him. Send him right over. Hugo Barnstead. You speak of a scuck and he sticks his nose around. Yeah, you want to pull his tooth for him? Yeah. Can you imagine? Hugo Barnstead coming to good old Biff grinds to have his tooth pulled. He faked a good place to come to, didn't he? Yeah. A swell place. Now, Biff, you be careful. Sure. Yeah, don't do anything you'd be sorry for. Not me. Biff grinds are never sorry for anything. Come in. You the dentist here? Yeah, that's right. Have a seat, Hugo. What's that? Biff grinds. Well, I had no idea you would ever... so you did become a dentist. Yeah, been a long time, Hugo. Yes, must be 25 years. Let's see. Last time I saw you was when you had that trouble at the factory. Yeah. How are you, Snappy? Ah, yeah. Sit down at the chair, Hugo. Yeah, got an awful toothache. Look. Oh, here, hey. Hurts like the do's. Wanted to wait until I got over to Oakley, but Virginia, she's with me, said to have it out now. She's coming up here in a little while. Oh, that's so good. Don't like toothaches. Carrible things. Had them all in my life. You won't hurt, will you, Biff? You won't feel it. I want gas. You'll get gas. No. My assistant, Miss Robertson, is off today, so Snappy, down you'll have to take her place. Hey, now, wait a minute, Biff. Come over here. Oh, Biff. Hand me that nosepiece. Huh? For the gas. Come on. Oh, yeah. Here you are. All right now, Hugo. Inhale. Deep. Deep as you can. Pull up your lungs. Are you getting it? Yeah. He's going under, Biff. It's been a long time, hasn't it, Biff Grimes? What's that? You and me. Avery Amusement Park, Virginia. Inhale, Hugo. You thought you were going to marry Virginia, but I fooled you. I fooled you. I fooled you, Biff Grimes. Biffy, he's out. Hugo Bastet. I've got you right where I'll watch you. You're crawling a little rat. Oh, Biff, Biff. Oh, I've been waiting for this chance. Get away from that gas tank, Snappy. Biff. Biff, Biff, what are you doing? Gas for gas to me. Well, he's going to get it. Plenty of it. Biff, you can't do this. Shut up. Breathe, Hugo. Breathe in deep. Ha-ha-ha. Avery Amusement Park. Twenty-five years ago. Avery Park. Amy and Virginia. Ah, we used to go over this. I can close by and then see it now. I've been looking all over for you. You're late. The girls are waiting. I don't know. I haven't seen them yet. Why are we supposed to meet at Moat Street, Edwards, wouldn't it? Yeah, come on. Hey, who are they anyway, Hugo? You know Biff Grimes is pretty particular about the girls. Well, I only know one of them. His name is Virginia. Said she'd bring a friend. Is she a good looker? Oh, Virginia is. I don't know about the friend. Well, won't do any harm to take a look. But if it won't suit me, Hugo, you know Biff Grimes. Twenty-three skidoo. Virginia, I'm scared. Oh, what? Well, I never met a boy like this. That is without a proper introduction. Well, Hugo Barnstead will introduce you to him. Do you suppose he's a nice-looking fellow? Oh, of course he is. And do you think you like my new dress? I know he will. And do you think you like me? He'll fall in love with you the minute he sees you. Virginia, you stop that. Don't you talk like that. Well, he might. You can't tell. And you might fall in love with him. Oh, Virginia, I'd die. Tell the truth, Amy. Weren't you ever in love with a boy? Oh, Virginia. Oh, you can tell me. I won't tell anybody. Well, I thought I was once. I don't know. Well? Well, when I was very young, of course, that's a long time ago, you understand. It was in school. There was a boy. I don't know. He never even looked at me, but... Virginia, did you ever have a feeling in your heart something that you feel is going to happen and it doesn't? That's the way my heart works. This boy always seemed lonely somehow. Everybody had it in for him, even the teachers. They called him a bully, but I know he wasn't. I saw him do a lot of good things. When the big boys picked on the smaller ones, he helped the little fellows out. I know he had a lot of good news. Good that nobody else could see. Who was this boy? Oh, you wouldn't know him. Well, I might. Who was it? Fifth grad. You mean that big bully that hangs around Larson's drugstore? Yeah. Why, Amy, he's terrible. The reputation... Amy, I'd be ashamed to mention his name. I heard that he drinks and smokes cigarettes. Well, of course, that was a long time ago. Oh, Jux, I'm all over it now. He doesn't even know I'm alive. Amy, what? They're coming. Oh, dear. Look, that's Hugo Barnstead, the fellow with the orange tie and the other fellow... I think I'd better go. No, no, no, just sit down. Not just pretend you don't see them and that'll show them that we're good girls and that they can't... There they are, Fifth. I see them. Swell, huh? They're pretty swell, Hugo. Say, I've seen her around town. What's the one you got picked up for me? The little one on the left. Oh, nothing doing. I know that's going on a little thing. We used to go to school together. Amy's something or other. She ain't so bad. I'm telling you, she's skidoo. You can't pick anything better than that. Well, Biff Grimes will do his own picking. Wait a minute, Biff. I picked the other one. Well, but that ain't fair. 23. Everything is fair to Biff Grimes. Say, I've always wanted to meet her, though. She's all the fudge. Oh, gee, Biff. All right. Well, we'll fix it. We'll say something. Well, all right. Oh, hello, girls. Oh. Nice afternoon. Yes. Yes. Oh, say something. They don't care about the weather. They want to meet me. Well, I see you got over here. And you brought your girlfriend along. Yes. Well, I brought my boyfriend, too. How do you like him? Hi, girls. Introduce me. I'd like to introduce my boyfriend. Surely you don't. This is Biff Grimes. Hi, girl. I love my wife, but oh, you kid. How do you do? Well, let me see. Your name is Miss Virginia, ain't it? How did you know my name was Virginia? Oh, I found out. And, uh, what's your girlfriend's name? Oh. Excuse me. This is Miss Lynn. Amy Lynn. This is Mr... Mr... What did you say your last name was? Barnstead. Oh. You go Barnstead. My name is Grimes, Biff Grimes, chicken inspector. Miss Lynn. This is Mr. Grimes. Oh, Mr. Little Girl. Just Biff. How do you do? Oh, I'm swell. Say, I used to know you, didn't I? Yes. We went to school together. That's right. You sure was a funny little thing, then, wasn't you? Oh. Was I? You bet you was. Remember that day I slept at the principal? We almost got a liquor and you helped me out? I never got a chance to thank you. Oh, that's all right. Well, anyway, thanks. Even if you was funny looking, you wasn't bad at heart. Well, I always liked you, Biff. Amy. Well, I guess I shouldn't have said that. Well, you could have waited. I'm sorry, Biff. Oh, that's all right. I guess all the girls in them days is kind of stuck on me. Isch-a-bibble, isch-a-bibble. Well, how would you go and take a little walk? Oh, why, yes. Take a little walk. I guess an ice cream soda wouldn't go bad either, eh? Would you like an ice cream soda, Amy? I like a college ice. Say, Goldstein's got something new. I tried it out last night. She'll rave about it. He says New York's going wild over it. Yeah? Well, when New York goes wild over anything, it must be good. What is it? Yeah, what is it, Biff? Well, he sprints nuts all over the ice cream. I never heard of that before. Did you hear me? No. Say, that guy ain't dead. Biff Grimes never lets the grass run to his feet neither. New York style. That's me big stuff every time. You know something, little girl? Virginia. That's the name, ain't it? Well, you know where they got that name from? State of Virginia. Yes, sir. That's where Abraham Lincoln was born. Oh, I guess you didn't know that, did you? Ah, very few people do. Yes, indeed it is. You know, it's too bad I have met you before, Virginia. Uh-huh, but... Biff Grimes thinks that you're one of the nicest little girls he ever met. But, Biff... I'll say, old boy, hey, kid. Listen, Miss Virginia is supposed to... All right, never mind, my boy. Everything's going to be all right. Virginia and me is getting along fine. Yes, sir, fine. How about that, Ava Virginia? Well, let's go. Goldstein's drug store. You can take the little one. You go. Sure, Biff. My arm. Miss Virginia. Hey, I said... Thank you, Mr. Bond said. I'd love to go with you. Say, I meant for you to... No, Virginia. I've wanted to take you to Goldstein's for a long time now. Why, the low down right up from under my nose. Oh, Mr. Grimes. Huh? What? I don't mind if you take me, Mr. Grimes. Well, all right, right. Come on. Let's get it going. Jack O'Kee and Helen Trowell-Trees will be back with you in a minute. But in that minute, we're going out near Santa Monica where they're shooting Ladies in Love on the 20th Century Fox Lot. You'll overhear what two extra girls are saying about their friend Dot. Sir, it's me. What's the matter? Do I know why they don't want to ask Dot? She's your roommate. You ought to know why the boys don't like to take her out. I can't think of a thing that's wrong with her, except maybe her complexion. Well, isn't that enough? Boy, if my complexion were bad, I wouldn't expect to keep my job, even if I am only an extra. Much less get engaged. Dot's over careless, really. She can dab rouge and powder on her face day after day and let them stay there. And she can't. Not and keep a good complexion. Why don't you tell her? Break down and buy her a cake of luxe toilet soap. She's probably getting cosmetic skin. Cosmetic skin comes on so gradually. It's hard to tell you're taking chances. That's why it's smart to guard against it. To use luxe toilet soap regularly before you put on fresh makeup and always before you go to bed. Keep on using rouge and powder as much as you like. Luxe toilet soap has an active lather that goes deep down into your pores and removes every trace of dust and dirt and stale cosmetics. Nine out of ten screen stars use luxe toilet soap to keep skin lovely. It's good for your skin, too. And once again, Mr. DeMille. We continue with our play one Sunday afternoon starring Jack Oakey as Dr. Biff Grimes and featuring Helen 12 Trees as Amy. We are back in the present day in Biff Grimes' office. Hugo Bonstead lies unconscious in the dentist's chair with the gas filling his lungs. Biff stands over him, a dull look in his eyes as his mind flashes back to the days of their youth. Snappy Downer, his face contorted with fear, tries vainly to shut off the gas. Let me turn off that gas. Get away. You can't do this, Buffy. You can't do it. He took Virginia away from me. That night was Snyder's beer garden. That was 25 years ago. You can't do it. 25 years ago. I remember like it was yesterday. Snyder's beer garden. I was there with Virginia. Oh, Biff, listen. Listen. Yeah, with Virginia. I can even hear the music. It's over, Steppe. You who? It's over, Steppe. Hey, you see the fight? Fight? Yes, over by the bowling alleys Grimes, where has won? Oh, such a bully. Such a loafer. Always, he hasn't spoiled good time by punching. Oh, sure. I suppose you heard that. Oh, heard what? Mrs. Opistata and Mrs. Schudtendorf, didn't you hear what they said about you? Ah, don't worry me. Well, it does mean. Miss Grimes, I want to tell you something. I'm a respectable girl, and I'm not in the habit of going with people that want to drink and fight. I didn't start the fight. Did I? Yes, you did. I did not. Did you stand by and take an insult? Oh, that boy didn't say anything. He did too. I know what he said. Well, if Grimes takes his girl out, nobody's going to pass her the mark. Aren't you a gentleman enough to ignore it? No, I'm gentleman enough to take a slap at his nose. Well, if you ever do it again, I'll walk away from you. All right. All right. I'm sorry I didn't mention you. I've hurt your feelings. I'm sorry about that too. I guess I was just jealous. Well, I don't see why you should get jealous over me. Well, I can't help it. Ever since that day, I've first met your neighbor's part. I'll care about you. Well, you know that Virginia. Why don't you go with those other girls that you like to talk about? Because I want you. Amy Lynde likes you. Oh, I don't care anything about her. You're the only one I want with Virginia. Listen, whenever I'm near you, I just seem to forget everything. Oh, don't be foolish. I'm not. Can't help it. Say, by the way, they're running an excursion down election next Sunday. Well, maybe you'd like to go. I'm going to be busy next Sunday. I have an important engagement. More important than I am? I should say it is. I thought I was your steady. You've got another thought coming. Going to meet Hugo Barnstead? Suppose I am. That's who it is. Hugo Barnstead. You can't fool me, Virginia. You've been meeting him all the time. Well, suppose I have. Well, I was Stanford. What are you going to do about it? Well, he better keep away from me. That's all. I don't like him. I never did like him. He's a sneak. The next time I see him, I won't tell him what I think. Listen to the little boy talk. I thought you were a big man, Mr. Grimes. To hear you talk, one would think you owned the world. I've heard of the great things you're going to do. So far, I haven't seen anything. Well, ain't I... Huh. Ain't I starting hard to be a dentist? A dentist. Yes, a dentist. I only got four more years to go. When I get through, I'm going to put up a big dentist shop right in this town. I'm not in the least interested. Well, you will be when you see my name hanging out in front. I'm going to have a big gold sign painted. Fifth Grimes, painless dentist. And Hugo Barnstead. Oh, what's he doing here? Hello, Virginia. Hello, Amy. Hello, Hugo. Hello, Virginia. We've been looking all over for you, Virginia. We were looking for you. Hello, Fifth. Hello. Hello, Fifth. Yeah. I called your house, but your mother said you was out. So you brought Amy. Yes, and we've been on the loop-a-loop three times. Yeah. We went through the tunnel twice. Did you kiss her in the dark? Of course, he didn't kiss me. Are you having a good time, Fifth? Yes, well... Oh, Fifth. I hear you was in a fight. Well... With Andy Mullin, is that right? What about it? Nothing. Only, I just saw him outside and he was... There he is now, coming in the door. Yeah, I see him. Got his power with him, too, ain't he? I think we better go. Oh, don't get excited. I ain't gonna start nothing. There he is, Andy. Over there. Fifth, sit down. Oh, we'll just walk out. I ain't gonna fight. Yeah, funny how a cute little girl takes up with such rough people. Yeah, ain't it. Yeah, you think she'd pick up somebody that was decent. Oh, Amy. Oh, which girl were you talking about? Hi, the swirl-looking one. Ain't she some cutie, huh? She's good enough for me. Hi, cutie. How about a stroll down by the lake? Shut up, shut up, you rats. We ain't gonna get any fights. Listen, you. That last remark. Yeah, what about it? What I don't like it. What are you gonna do about it? This. Please, y'all. House with them. Come on, boys. Think about it, y'all. Get back, you guys. You lay a hand on me and I'll drop you alongside of this fog here. I'll get out of here by myself, see? And I don't need any help. Come on, Virginia. No, no. I never want to see you again, Fifth, right? I hate you. You're a bully. A big bully. All right. I'll see you over in Avery's Park. Wednesday evening at eight o'clock. I won't be there. Avery's Park at eight. Come on, you guys. Bring it up. Let me out of here. I guess she isn't coming after all, Fifth. I don't see her. I guess she's sore at me. Chief, can you imagine the sore cause? I was protecting her good name. That's all I was doing. Of course, Fifth. Any girl who's been proud to have a man protect her good name. You understand that, don't you, Amy? Of course I do, Fifth. Haven't you seen her at all? Not since that night. And you were to meet her here? Eight o'clock. It's after nine now. That's right. That's too bad. Don't I know it? If I ask you something, Fifth, will you tell me? Sure. What is it? Do you love Virginia? Well, I... You don't have to tell me unless you want to. Yes, I do love her. I guess maybe I got a little too crazy about her. She somehow was my ideal. You know every fella has an ideal. Somebody cares for him. When he cares for that, somebody will nothing else matters. It's a sort of an ingrown pain. It starts in the pity of your stomach and it works right up to your neck. Well, that's the way I felt for Virginia. I see. Of course, you told her that you loved her. Lots of times. She always laughed at me. You know there's nothing sincere about Virginia. That heart she's at teasing at what rouses the old devil in me. I understand, Fifth. Do you? You know, Amy, I like to talk to you. Somehow, well, I don't know. Virginia never could sit down and talk the way we've been talking. I like it. How'd you happen to come over here tonight? Oh, I don't know. I just came over. Did you have a date? No. You sure? I haven't got a bow. Funny. I thought you and Hugo Barnstead was keeping company. Hugo Barnstead? Oh, no. He just took me out once. He doesn't care anything about me. Well, he's an awful mug. I don't see what any girl can see in him. You know, I went up to Virginia. What? Oh, nothing. It's funny, ain't it? What is? Oh, I'm sitting here talking like this. Don't you like it? I sure do. I've always wanted to talk to somebody like this. You see over at our house, there's nobody but the old man, the kid brothers. Pop don't work much, so I gotta go out and do the hustling. The way I'm starting next week at the Phoenix Box Factory. Of course, most of that money's going to help me through that dental school. I'm selling to be a dentist, you know. Are you, Biff? Yeah. I want to be the swellest little more extractor in Oakley. Oh, that'll be fine. Of course, that's just to start. Someday, you know, I expect to be mayor of this town. Oh, gee, Biff. Yeah. That's going to make Virginia proud of me. Yes, sir. Oh, oh, yeah. Hi, Amy. Hello, Biff. Oh, hello, Snappy. What are you doing over here? Oh, nothing. Just half a little walk. Me and Gladys. That's your mouth, steady. Say, I guess you heard the news, hey, Biff. What news? Why, ain't you heard about Virginia? Well, uh, what about Virginia? She got married this afternoon at four o'clock. Did she? Yeah, I thought you knew. You was going with her. Yeah, yeah. Say, it seems I did hear something about that. Guess no, she married, don't you? Who? Hugo Barnstead. Hugo Barnst... Yeah. Oh, sure. Well, I've certainly worked hard to fix it up for that boy. Well, I thought she was your steady. Virginia? No. She's just a nice little girl, that's all. I guess everybody around here thought I was kind of stuck on her, but I wasn't. I was just one of my little jokes. So, Snappy, when you see the gang, you just say Biff Grimes is leading his own life and he's doing fine. Sure. Say, I saw Hugo this afternoon. He's going to work for his uncle in the box factory. Got a swell job. He and Happy Bride are leaving on the midnight train. Say, we're going to throw rice and everything. That's good. That's swell. Well, I guess we're running long. All right, Snappy. See you later, Biff. Come on, Gladys, come on. Biff, listen. Yeah? I know, Biff. It hurts, doesn't it? I guess it does. Sure it does. Your heart feels like it was all cut open and bruised. I know. Do you aim me? Yes. Oh, when he climbs on the train, I hope he breaks his leg. Biff, you mustn't say that. It isn't... Well, I can't help it. You mustn't say you're sorry, please. Oh, all right, I'm sorry. See, you know, Amy, you're the first person that ever made me take back anything. I kind of feel, well, I don't know. I'm just glad I know you, that's all, Amy. If I ask you something, it won't mind, will you? What is it? Can I be your steady? Do you want to? Sure. All right, then. Oh, that'll be swell, Amy. But Biff, you aren't saying this just because she... Why? Oh, never mind. I don't care anyway. I'm awfully fond of you, Biff. I've always been. You bet I am. Really? Of course, why wouldn't I be? Oh, I don't know, but oh, I'm happy, Biff. I'm awfully happy. Oh, come in, Biff. Sit down. You want to see me, Hugo? I wouldn't have sent for you if I hadn't, old man. You know, I haven't seen much lately of you, Biff. Ah, I've been busy. Still studying to be a dentist, huh? Yep, every night. You're not letting that interfere with your job down here at the factory, are you? Why should it interfere? You're not studying on our time. I told you I was studying night. All right, all right. Now, don't get sore. You know, I'm in a pretty important position running this plant, and I got to make sure my employees do their jobs. All right. What's it you want to see me about? Biff, how long have you and Amy been married now? About two years. That's right. You got married just a little while after me in Virginia, didn't you? That's right. You seen Virginia lately? Oh, I met her a couple of times on the street. Looking pretty swell, ain't she? Yes. Great girl, Virginia. Find this little woman in the world. I only said that... Listen, Hugo, that cut machine out there is being overhauled. I got to go see... Sit down. Sit down. I won't keep you long. Well, what is it? Biff, my uncle isn't satisfied with the way things are going down here. We're not making enough money. No. Oh, he expects me to double the output and cut down the expenses. So, you see, Biff, I got a scheme a bit. Uh-huh. Maybe you can help me. I may be able to do something for you a little later. Don't worry about that. I mean it. I'd be glad to do something for you and Amy. You better let me worry about Amy, Hugo. Oh, come on now. Forget your pride. You work along with me and I think I can show you how to make some more money. Now, let's get out of the point. What do you want? Well, my uncle informs me that there are too many men laying off sick. At least that's what they say and I'm going to put a stop to it. The Phoenix Box Factory is paying its help to work, not to be sick. I found the men good workers. Well, they're not. Now, what I have in mind is I'd like to have you mingled with the men. You can keep your eyes open and kind of see what's going on. Yeah, I do my own work. I don't notice the others. But you could begin to notice them. Some of them are on the job, I suppose, but others ain't. I want you to report those fellas to me. Now, who would you suggest I get rid of? You mean get fired? Yeah. Oh, spy work, eh? Oh, I wouldn't call it that. Well, I wouldn't. If you think you can make a sneak out of me, you're crazy. I'm not doing anybody's dirty work. You understand? Still the same old Biff Grimes, ain't you? Always looking for trouble. No, I ain't looking for trouble. Yes, you are, but don't forget this. The Phoenix Box Factory pays you your living, and you'll do as I want to get out. All right, I'll get out. Working late, ain't you? How you doing here? You know that employees ain't allowed in the factory at night. You're forgetting I'm not an employee any longer. You fired me this afternoon, you remember? Get out of here. Oh, no. I got something coming to me, and I want it. I want that two-week salary you owe me. You can see the cashier in the morning. Now I can. I saw him tonight, and he says that you told him not to give it to me. Now, what of it? I want that money. He'll go, it's coming to me, and I want it. You don't get a nickel. No. We'll see about that. Put on that gun. Now, listen, you go. Do I get that money? I'll blow you wide open. Put on that gun. Well, don't shoot. Don't shoot. That's right. That's right. Crawl. Stop. Don't shoot. Come on. Crawl, you stupid rat. Come on. Don't, don't. You go faster. Get up on your feet. I wouldn't shoot you. You're skunky, ain't worth it. Oh, get out of here. Yeah, I'll get out of here. Sure. Before I do, I want you to stand up. Stand up nice and straight. Yes, you're worried about something. Who, me? Is everything going all right at the factory? Well, sure. Well, what makes you say that? Oh, who could that be? That's all right. I'll answer it, honey. All right. I better go fix up a little. It might be company. Well, hello, Charlie. Hello, Matt. Hello, Biff. What you fellas doing here? Official business, Biff. The chief wants to see you down headquarters. Headquarters? What are you doing? Kiddin'? That's how you can notice it. You go by instead, didn't you? It's a sultan battery. And you got to try to hold up the place. I didn't. You had a gun, didn't you? Come on. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Not so loud, will you? My wife's in there. Listen, I wasn't going to hold up anybody. I got fired today. Hugo wouldn't give me my dog. It was coming to me. I worked for it. I worked hard. You don't know what it means to carry a gun in this town? Oh, I just pull it as a bluff. You fellas know me. You've known me for years. I would have still anything from anybody. I was desperate. That's all I tell you. I only wanted what was coming to me. I don't arrest you, Biff. Oh, give me a break. Well, let me get out of here. I'll beat it out of town. Nobody will know. Sorry, Biff. It's tough, but that's the way it goes. Oh, it ain't myself. I'm thinking of it. I don't give a hoot about myself. It's Amy. See, fellas, this is a killer. Please, will you? Sorry, Biff. We can't. Come on. Oh, is it, Biff? Wait a second, fella. Yeah. Oh, sure, sure. It's all for nice of you, fellas. Come on. I appreciate it. Biff. Oh, hello, Amy. What's the matter? Matter? Well, nothing. I'm just trying to get down to Matt Hughes here. You see, the police department's having a clam bag down to Casino Wednesday night. And well, so they asked me to be on a committee, and I would just tell them. Oh, that's awfully nice. Yes, isn't it? That's awful nice. Did you, fellas, say that you want me to come down to right now to arrange things? Yeah, sure. Well, all right. Let's go. I'll be back in a little while, honey. Just a little while. All right, Biff. Wait for me. Always. All right, fellas. Let's go. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System. Presume the events of one Sunday afternoon shortly. Actresses usually climb to prominence on the screen, but tonight's guest reversed the order. She descended to stardom. I was directing a scene in forbidden fruit. The star, dressed in a glass costume, had to walk down a staircase also made of glass. But her dress was so rigid and the glass stares so slippery that the star just, well, couldn't play the scene naturally. I asked if there wasn't someone who could walk downstairs. One of the minor players volunteered. She had been recommended to me as the most beautiful girl in America. So I let her compete with the star, and she won in a walk. The pardoned forbidden fruit opened the way for a role as Rudolph Valentino's leading woman, which brought her international fame and envy. She is as lovely now as she was when Valentino made his reputation as a great lover playing opposite her. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Agnes Ayers. Thank you, Mr. DeMille, but when you asked me to walk, you hit upon the one theatrical trick I had thoroughly learned. When I was 14 years old, I used to go to old S&A studio after school, watching them make movies. An old actress saw I was dying to act and he spent days trying to teach me. His entire course consisted of showing me how to walk. I'm glad he didn't teach you how to swim. Or you'd never have given such a fine performance as the rescue scene in the affairs of Anatole. In order to make that scene, I had to be pushed off a bridge into a river. When I told Mr. DeMille I couldn't swim, he said, that's just fine. And over I went into 18 feet of icy water. The game performance, too. I must have convinced you that it was more enjoyable to work with Valentino than with DeMille. Hardly so. It was my good fortune to play with Mr. Valentino in his two big hits, The Sheep and The Son of the Sheep. Valentino died just ten years ago, yesterday. Yet people still ask me if he would have starred in Toffees the same as he did in silent pictures. I'm sure he would have. He had a slight accent, but it was far more charming than detrimental. He was also a fine singer. And in selecting you, Valentino showed that he knew how to choose a leading lady. You're very lovely, Agnes. And you're very diplomatic, Mr. DeMille. I'm making as good care of myself as I possibly can. And I'm really glad to pass along the same advice that was given me as a child by my mother. She told me to always use the best soap I could find. For a while, I thought she meant the most expensive kind. But since then, I've found the answer to be Lux Toilet Soap. In my home, three generations are using it. Myself, my mother, and my ten-year-old daughter, Maria, who someday may be in pictures herself. We all know there's nothing like Lux for smooth hands and a fine, clear skin. And that's probably why practically all Hollywood stars use it. I understand you are planning to return to pictures, Agnes. I know our audience joins me in wishing you all the success in the world. Thank you, Mr. DeMille, again. I've been in a great many pictures, but to tell the truth, I've never given a performance which has completely satisfied me. I want a return to fulfill that ambition. To prepare for this, I've been doing a lot of acting with stock companies lately. And to all young men and young women who hope to reach Hollywood, my suggestion is to first get as much stage training as possible. Good night. And now we bring you the last part of one Sunday afternoon with Jack O'Kee as Dr. Biff Grimes and Helen 12 Trees as aiming. Our time is again the present. Hugo Bonsted is still lying unconscious in the dentist's chair, inhaling the gas. Snappy Downer pleads desperately with Biff, who stands over his patient, holding the nosepiece tightly in place. Biff ain't gonna do it. He ain't gonna kill him. He took Virginia away from me, sent me to jail. Two years, they give me two whole years. But you can't kill a man for that. They'll hang your Biff. He took Virginia away from me. Every part. Oh, Amy was waiting for me there when I got out. I can see her now. She was sitting on a bench. I was coming along the path. Biff, listen to me. Listen to me. Every part. Every part. Hello, Amy. Biff. Yep, it's me. I just got over the house. I dropped off the junction. I could have made the 545, but I didn't want anybody at the station to see me. I know. Something told me you'd be here. I don't know. Just something. When did you get out, Biff? 12 o'clock. Jeta Warden was a prince of a gem. She shook hands with me and he... Did you see me, Amy? You know I am, Biff. See, it feels good to see you. It sure feels good to be back. Two years, guys. See more like 10. Biff, I'm so glad to see you. I'm glad to see you, honey. Guess I'd have been all shot to peace if I hadn't gotten your letters. The thought of you waiting and... Well, I just somehow... Somehow I... It's all right. Amy, I want to thank you for all your kindness, all your goodness. That's all right, sir. I learned a lot since I've been away. I'm going to make a new start. Begin all over again. I want to be somebody because I've got to. I know how you feel, Biff. Sure, you always know. But, honey, I'm not so sure we can begin again in this town. We may have to move away for a while. All right, sir. All right with you? I'm big coming up for Biff Grimes and his wife. I can feel it in my bones. Biff Grimes is going to be Biff Grimes, yes, sir. There ain't going to be nothing too good for Biff Grimes and his family. Yeah. You want to go home, honey? Yes. Gee, I love you, Amy. I think you're the loveliest lady in the world. I love your hair, your eyes, and your mouth. I love you too, Biff. Look at that old sky up there. Yeah. It's spring, too. Let's walk home, huh? Don't do it. Turn off that gas, Biff. He took her away from me, didn't he? He took Virginia away from me. It was 25 years ago, but I never forgot it. Hey, listen. There's somebody outside door, Biff. Do you hear it? Somebody's there, Biff. All right. Shut up. Hey. See, I wouldn't open the door for a lady. Who are you? Well, what's eating you, Biff? What are you staring at? Well, nothing. Well, how are you, Virginia? I'm swell. How are you, Snappy? Me? Oh, oh, I'm all right. I've spent a lot of time to see you, Virginia. Yeah. I, uh... I kind of filled out since then, eh? Say, remember the baloney you used to hand me? Remember Schneider's beer garden? Uh, funny, but the world does move. Yeah, doesn't it? And here you are, the dentist of Hillsdale. Say, have you pulled old Goopy Jake's tooth yet? Well, oh, no. I haven't pulled it yet. Wait just a minute. It won't take long. Don't rush for me. The longer that goop stays unconscious, the better I'll like it. Oh, I, uh... I guess I better use the oxygen tank on him. Say, do me a favor, will you? I'll put him out of his misery. That ain't a bad way to pass out. Hugo. Hugo. What's the matter with him, Biff? Why don't he wake up? Hugo. Oh, let him alone. He's half dead anyway. Hugo. You all right? Hugo. I'll take some water. You feel better? Yes. But oh, what an awful taste. You here, Virginia? Yes, nature's child. Did you think it was gonna crash the pearly gate? Oh, no, baby. Don't talk that way. Are you ready? Yes, sweetheart. And I suppose I'll have to drive the rest of the afternoon. Look, Virginia, can you see it? Now, my dentist in Pittsburgh told me, you remember that time I had those 77... Listen, you. For 25 years, I've heard nothing but your teeth. It's been teeth in the morning, teeth in the afternoon, and teeth at night. Oh, now, verge... Don't verge me. If I hear any more squawks out of you, I'll perform the operation myself, and you won't have gas. Biff, how much do I owe you? Nothing. What's that? I said nothing. In fact, I think I can owe you something, though. Huh? Yeah. Oh, you lot, Hugo. Thanks. What are you talking about? Oh, it's all right. Forget it. Hey, by the way, Biff, how's your wife? Oh, she's fine, fine. Still married, eh? Yeah, Mrs. Grimes is still Mrs. Grimes. How has she stood it? You'll never know what I've suffered married to this. This death house buzzard. Oh, but, yeah, I'm a good man. Yeah, good for what? I'm going home, Biff. I don't feel so good. So long, folks. Well, that guy looks about three steps ahead of the undertaker. Yes. Sorry, we can't say to see your wife, Biff. Oh, yes, you'd be sorry to see her. Well, say, you better leave now. Good afternoon. It's that way over there. That way out. Oh, thanks. So long, Biff. You know, Virginia, I'm going to write myself in Pittsburgh. Oh, shut up! You and your dentist in Pittsburgh! Ha-ha-ha! And I almost killed them. But take it away from me. Ha-ha-ha! Amy, come here. For heaven's sake, Biff, guys, if you don't stop making that noise. Listen, Amy, I got something to tell you. You ought to be ashamed of yourself raising all this racket. Yes, ma'am, I am ashamed of myself. Where's Snappy? Oh, he left. Well, I'm glad. I don't mind him coming over here, but you make such fools of yourselves. Yes, ma'am, we certainly do. Well, you ready to go out? Yes, ma'am. Well, get your hat Sunday afternoon and everybody out. What's the matter, Biff? You know that you're a very sweet and beautiful girl, and that I love you. I love you, too, Biff. And that new car you wanted? Say, you're going to get a better one. Tomorrow, you're going to get the finest car in Hillsdale. Oh, our old car's getting terrible. Why, I wouldn't let you be seen in it. Say, does a brand-new taxi stand across the street? Let's see if it's still there. Hey, taxi, look to the front door. Wait there, if this grandest best girl will go out for a ride. Now, what will the neighbors say? Just what I do, that Biff tries to get the swallows to control in this town. Praise the thing, but not the only thing. Because we're going to hear further from Jack Oakey in Hell in 12 Trees a little later. When you see Jack Oakey clowning on the screen, it's hard to realize that he's the son of a schoolteacher who had hopes that he's becoming a preacher. Jack's mother was formerly principal of the Sedalia Public School, head of the psychology department at the Scudder School and an instructor at Columbia University. She came to Hollywood with Jack nearly 10 years ago and has always been his favorite companion. One of Hollywood's most typical mothers she is certainly most popular among young stars. Ladies and gentlemen, Mrs. Evelyn Offield. Thank you, Mr. DeMille. I've practiced this 40 times. Mother in Hollywood is no different than being a mother anywhere else. Children need a parent's help, advice and sympathy. Just as much here is in your own hands. As a teacher and mother, I'd like to give this little message to all young parents. You are the best instructor your child will ever have. The training you give him now will show its after effects when you're gone. It's a job you'll never finish. But no job in the world will break you greater happiness. Still, there are times when a mother should stand aside and not be a hindrance, particularly in choosing a career. Let your son and daughter be what they want to be. Apparently, you had no objection to Jack going on the stage. Well, when he told me he wanted to be a hooper, I didn't know what he meant. I just told him to go ahead. He took your advice literally. He's going ahead, right to the top. But I hope you're not going to tell us that Jack was a model boy. That would be pretty hard to believe. Oh, he embarrassed me more than once. But he was always generous. If he'd find some frogs or toads, he'd come right home and divide them with me. Maybe that's the reason the girls have always liked Jack. But even I admit that he's not what you would call hence. He inherited your sense of humor. He should have taken some of your good looks. Oh, I'm just an old schoolman, Mr. DeNeal. But there's one lesson I'm still teaching, and that's the advantage of using such a fine soap as luck. Three days for the last ten years. Why, if I were as young as my complexion, I'd ask you for the next rumba. If I were as young as you act, I'd accept. I acted only once. That was in the movie, Too Much Harmony that started being cross big. But even though I'm 68 years old, there's a lot of life in the old girl yet. What's your next picture going to be? Life begins at 68? No, one picture was enough. I just wanted to prove to Jack that he isn't the only actor in the family. The nice. He's killing the people. Well, what do we do now, Mr. DeNeal? If you'll sit down for just a moment, Jack, I intend to bring you and Helen 12-Freeze back to the microphone. Oh, don't bother. I'm here already. I'll tell you, I'll introduce Helen for you myself. I'll make them a mole there. I'll think I'm the producer. Maybe. Glad to help out. Well, folks, here she is. Miss Helen 12-Freeze and orchard to you. Thank you, Jack. Mr. DeNeal, I think you're right. Here's that introduction. Here's his punch, the punishment. How can I be serious? Every time I get set to be dramatic, people take one look and begin laughing. Listen, I've even grown a mustache to look more distinguished. Now, why don't you take it off? What, make a fool out of Gable? Now, folks, you take Helen here, for example. I ask her what makes her so gorgeous, and she tells me luck's toilet soap, just like the mother. Well, have you tried it? I've tried it, say. I wash 20 times a day with that soap. I even clean my teeth with it. Look. Buddy? Well, I think so much of luck's toilet soap that I'm never without it. You know, when I went to Australia, I took loads of your laws in my trunk, but I found I didn't have to. They use it on the other side of the world as much as they do here. You know, Jack was out of luck, Helen, when he tried to get into the crusade. Oh. I thought that was Henry Wilcox's job. Everybody but Jack was under the same impression. Yes, sir. There wasn't a nifty suit of armor that ever came out of a blacksmith's shop. And DeMille here spoins me. All he said was throw some sardines in that can and get it out of here. Now he's making another picture of the Plainsman. I knew he was dying to have me play the lead, Helen, but he's too proud to ask me. So what did he get? He got a tuba player. Gary Copper, that's the fella. A newcomer. So I made a picture called the Texas Rangers. I'm not only a cowboy, but I sing a song as well. I sing it for you, Helen, but I don't want to make Mr. DeMille feel bad. Well, it's very kind of you, Jack. And besides, it's getting a little late. Well, since you insist, Mr. DeMille, my friend, I'll be his port. Folks, you're about to hear Bing Oakey, the Oklahoma grower. In that touching old cowboy lament, I can't play the banjo with Susanna on my knee. I myself am Honolulu probably to avoid hearing this. All right, Jack, go ahead. Ah, heckler, heckler. I got an orchestra. How on the lone player read? That is the place for me. I met my gal. When it comes to cowboy music, there's no one can play like me. But I can play my banjo with Susanna on my knee. I can whistle Yankee doodle. I can sing Mother McCree. But I can't play I'd like to drop her on the floor, but that ain't chivalry. But I can't play Mabangio with Susanna on my knee. I thought that I would make a hit, but I played William Town. But when I beat my feet in time, she had a dizzy spell. I'd like to drop her on the floor, but that ain't chivalry. But I can't play Mabangio with Susanna on my knee. You smell something, Bernie? Thank you, Mr. Oki and Ms. 12 Trees. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your announcer, Mel Velruik. Enes Seabury at Virginia, Greta Myers, Justina Wayne, Frank Nelson, James Eagles, William Royal, and Mary Lou Fisher. Mr. Oki and Mr. DeMille appeared through courtesy of Paramount Studios and Mr. Silver's 20th Century Fox, whose new picture, Girls Dormitory, starring the French discovery, Simone Simone, was musically arranged by Mr. Silver's. Mr. Oki's song, I Can't Play the Banjo with Susanna on my Knee, is from the Texas Rangers. Next Monday night, another great show awaits you in the Lux Radio Theater, and here's Mr. DeMille to tell you about it. George Raft was born in New York's most violent neighborhood, Hell's Kitchen. Perhaps that accounts for his marked ability to play the roles of those who live outside the law. We find him in such a part next Monday night when the Lux Radio Theater presents Cheating Cheaters. Costarring with George as the leader of a rival gang of jewel thieves is one of our most promising actresses, Miss June Lang. Produced on Broadway 20 years ago, Cheating Cheaters has been seen three different times in pictures. I believe you will find it just as thrilling on the air. Our sponsors, the makers of Lux Toilet Soap, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night when the Lux Radio Theater presents Cheating Cheaters, starring George Raft with June Lang. This is Cepher B. DeMille saying goodnight to you from Hollywood. In this election, I can't play the banjo with Susanna on my knee. It was used with the courtesy of Paramount Security. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.