 was born to a Christian family. During the birth I was told that my mother had a very difficult birth and in the process of that my optical nerve was damaged which affects my eyes. Growing up as a teenager everything was fine and I went to church and I had wonderful family wonderful parents and though I dumbled in few little things like smoking for one week and stealing I got caught and then never did it again but nothing really serious or damaging that I did until when we moved to the United States I was 13 years of age I started to go to school and I didn't speak English and insecurities that started to creep in inside of my soul due to my physical appearance they started to take over my life I started to develop this mindset this attitude that I'm nobody that my life has no meaning and that I'm a burden to people that the world will be a better place without me. I remember skipping a keyboarding class in my freshman high school year because I was so embarrassed to stand in front of group of 20 students to do a presentation that was supposed to last a minute and a half. I had a very difficult time connecting with people had a very difficult time finding friends and I had a very difficult time just being around people and socializing I was very awkward with people I remember praying to God the God will cause an accident that I will die I really believed and I feared taking my life but I thought if God will do that it's not it's not gonna be my fault it's gonna be his I had few accidents but in none of them I had even a scratch I didn't know that God had a purpose for my life I didn't know God had a plan for my life and in the midst of all that pain in the midst of all that suffering internal suffering feeling alone feeling isolated feeling rejected I tried to find my identity and things like participation in church so our church just started during that time and I tried to be in a worship team I got kicked out of that worship team I couldn't speak really well because I had a problem with speech and problem with my voice and putting thoughts together and everything I tried I struggled in and it's just confirmed that idea that I'm an accident I am a mistake that God didn't have a plan for my life that I'll never get married I'll never have anything great in my life and through that pain I started to close myself up in the room and cry out to God I wasn't crying out so God can change me I was crying out because I was upset I was hurt and I was complaining and as I would begin to take those moments with God it was it would be in high school time after high school after my school I would pray and complain and wine and God's presence would come and visit me in that room I would feel his presence in the midst of all my pain and suffering and hurt and I would feel better I would do it day after day and it continued for for some time because of my eyes I also developed extreme migrant headaches and they said it was due to the fact that my optical nerve was damaged and in the midst of all that suffering and pain I had also headaches and I remember in that time of complaining and prayer to God I made a promise to him I said God if you will take away this this feeling of unworthiness and this feeling of insecurity and if you will take away my headaches I give you a promise I'm gonna follow you for the rest of my life I didn't know God will take me upon the challenge and I remember two years later I realized that for two years I didn't have headaches and myself a steam started to go go up I started to feel better about myself but not about myself but about God who lived in me about how I was created in his image how I had a purpose and I had a meaning I started to become better with people my awkwardness socially started to go away I stopped being afraid of speaking publicly and and I actually the very worship team that I was kicked out of I became the worship leader who thought of that things started to change actually things started to become a lot better for me and in school I started to get good grades and and everything and I was so excited about my future now that was started to develop but I didn't want to be in a full-time ministry I didn't want to give my life to the Lord in the way that I promised to do that I would come to church and I would hear that like broken tape playing Lord if you take away my insecurity and if you take away my headaches I will give you my life and in my senior high school year this internal battle no longer with insecurity but with what I should do with my life became so intense that I remember I started to fast every Wednesday and during one of those times of fasting I wouldn't even go to school in my senior high school year every Wednesday I would spend time in prayer to ask God what he want me to do even though I knew what he wanted me to do I just didn't want to do it I was afraid because I thought that if I'll commit my life to ministry I'll be poor I'll be you know my life is not gonna be where it's not gonna be to the fullest oh I was so wrong and one day I remember I surrendered completely and I said God my life is yours if I have to go to China and die for you it's better than living in insecurity and living in headaches and living in that kind of a hell that internally I had and God started to change my heart change my life I started to become more involved in the ministry I became a pastor a youth pastor at first and and God started to open doors to minister outside of even our own church and at one particular time I met this beautiful person who became now my wife who been married for some time now and I look back at my life and I've seen God not only helped me to overcome the insecurity not also helped me overcome other challenges but open the doors and bless me and today I just want to encourage any person who's watching there and maybe you feel like they're insecure just wrapped around you and maybe you feel like there are these demonic strongholds and they hold you down and you do not see beyond how God could ever use you how God could ever have a plan for someone like you maybe you feel ugly or you feel fat or you feel completely out of place maybe you feel like nobody loves you maybe you've never been told by your parents that you're special I want to tell you something that God loves you God has a plan for your life and God wants to use you and God wants to prosper you and God wants to take you from the place you are in to a place of miracles and place of blessings as he did it with me he can do it with anyone else my name is Vladimir Savchik and this is my story