 with my family here in Cornerstone and I apologize but my notes came in late so they're not in your your conference brochure they are printed outside the in a separate piece of paper and if you need one of those if perhaps you could raise your hand and someone could from the back could help you if you need some of those notes so we're going to cover a snapshot of Solomon and the Shulamite a snapshot of Solomon and the Shulamite and it is a biblical view or a redeemed view of romance and intimacy and marriage a redeemed understanding of romance and intimacy and marriage in this time I would want you to be able to recognize a few different points I'm going to cover okay so one is an introduction about the the lies of the world concerning romance and intimacy second we're going to focus in on the book of song of songs or the book of song of Solomon and how do we interpret or understand that book then we'll look at the what the some of the main themes in the book with in those is that's entitled in your sheet wisdom from Solomon wisdom from the Shulamite or wisdom for the men wisdom for the ladies and there'll be some overlap there and then some practical applications we'll focus on some practical applications so so introduction the lies of the world how to interpret the book wisdom from Solomon the Shulamite and then finally applications that you can refer to and speak about with your your spouse so first off let's consider the way the world views romance and intimacy the we live in a very immoral and pornographic time and we cannot pretend that our society does not have an influence on our marriages media is in all different forms and places you can have them the media in your pocket with it with a smartphone now or you can have it in TV or the internet is but it's possible to to have it in almost every place consider some of these statistics by way of introduction ten years ago in 2006 it was reported that thirteen point three three billion dollars of revenue came from pornography in the US on the internet that revenue exceeds the revenue of combined revenue of ABC CBS and NBC considering the same year twenty seven point four billion revenue of pornography in China for the same industry another statistic is the average age of the first internet pornography exposure is eleven years old eleven years old is the average age that someone's first exposed to this this is these six statistics are ten years old but listen to these twelve percent of all websites twelve percent of all websites or pornographic consider twenty five percent of all search engine results one out of every four people who searches something in Google it is in a moral nature that is an amazing statistic isn't it one out of four people that search something in Google thirty four percent of average users receive unwanted pornographic exposure and forty two point seven percent of internet users view pornography think about how common that is in our culture you know when you try and watch TV right you try and watch something pure and the commercials that come in and come into your your eyes the novellas and in Spanish or the the soap operas that come the ideas of romance that are prevalent in our culture in our society are immoral they're against God and I can speak from the man's perspective or the woman's perspective whether it's an immoral view of romance and whether there's something admirable about the the man who swoops in and the adulterous romance or whether you're thinking about the actual act we are affected we are not strangers to our culture we live in it and it affects us to a greater degree than we think it affects you to a greater degree than you realize the way you think about romance and intimacy in your marriage is affected by the fall it's affected today but like Pastor Victor was teaching in preaching there is hope there is hope in God and in the gospel God has a better way God has a better way for romance and intimacy and marriage and he has given us a book a book of wisdom a book of the gospel applied the gospel applied to romance and God is the author of such good things as romance and intimacy we saw that in our last lesson as well since since it is ordained and God is the author of it then God is the one who has the plan in redemption for what it should be and so today I want to preach to you the gospel according to the song of Solomon I want to preach to you that there is in true salvation God has a plan for how you are to live in light of this salvation it how you live in light in your marriage and how it's to be vastly different than how the culture views these things then how you used to think about these things you are to be renewed your mind is be renewed today by the wisdom that's in the song of Solomon so consider now first off the gospel by way again by way of introduction the gospel that's in the song of Solomon some of these big view understanding of the book okay Solomon remembers some of the the major signposts in the Bible the covenants the promises of God the Davidic covenant remember we went over the covenant of grace in Genesis 1 and how that influences should influence our marriages with hope the salvation that is in Christ well that promise continues to the Bible and continues in the time of Solomon's day with the Davidic covenant with the Davidic covenant and Solomon is the promised is part of that promised air for the Messiah to come through okay so understanding that the author of the song of Solomon if you're in the big picture redemptive historical picture of salvation the Bible is coming from the one where the Savior's gonna come through his line he he is a picture of that future hope and we also went from the New Testament when we look back on the song of Solomon we understand Paul's teaching from Ephesians 5 that marriage itself is a type of the relationship between Christ and the church so when you look at this book of song of Solomon you and you understand it in a big picture you understand it is a picture of what a redeemed marriage should be like a redeemed by God what it should be like in romance in relationship enjoy an intimacy and you understand it in light of the hope that comes through Jesus Christ in the very family line of the one who wrote it and with the New Testament helping you look back and see that marriage itself is to be a picture of the mercy of God the mercy and the relationship between God and his church so in that sense the type of marriage that that small pictures point to a greater reality your momentary marriage your momentary marriage is also to be a type it's also to be focused and directed a signpost pointing towards how good God is and how in this work in the church okay so considering the the lies of the world let's now consider how to interpret the book of song of Solomon or the book of song of songs if you look on your sheet I have their author genre wisdom author genre wisdom one of the difficulties in understanding the book of song of songs is looking at the author the author because the author is Solomon if you if you have your Bibles open to the song of songs or the song of Solomon you can and you read verse 1 the song of songs which is Solomon's it's why many will call it the song of songs and perhaps more appropriate title than song of Solomon because it's the book that itself gives that title and the title is has a significance of saying this is the this is the song of all songs kind of like when you say this is the king of kings Jesus Christ he's the king of roller kings well Solomon is saying here's a song to sing and this is the song of all songs love love romance intimacy here it is is he's saying that this is the song of songs and in my point here now is in verse 1 it's saying it's it's from Solomon the difficulty in reading this is we think about Solomon's life right how many wives the Solomon have how many concubines does he has he has he has Solomon when we think of Solomon we think he is hardly the example to follow in regards to marriage and what I would say is think of Ecclesiastes and think about the wisdom that Solomon gives near the end of his life about all of his his failures and all of his sins and he thinks about the gospel applied to the purpose of life and he thinks back on how do we look back now on money and how do we look back on the purpose of life and he gives us wisdom at that point it's very similar with the song of songs he looks back not as one as as the savior but as a sinner who is saved he looks back on not one who is the perfect perfect example but he points to a perfect example in that that Christ can do in our marriages in other words do you come here just to listen to the you don't come here you come here to hear the Bible you come here to hear from God you don't come here because of the perfection of pastor the pastors here you come here looking for hope from God and it's the same when we look in the book of song of Solomon we don't look to Solomon as our great hope we look to the salvation that he speaks of the application of the salvation that he speaks of and what that should be and so I want you to see even in the author even in the all who the author is God picked out someone who needed a savior to be a someone to be able to near the end of his life look back and say here's wisdom here's what it what it should have been here's what it should have been here's what the marriage and intimacy and romance should be so understanding the author we understand that the how it speaks about the gospel to us in understanding of the genre of literature there's been much difference in the church ages when you when you think about the how to interpret understand the book of song of songs and I won't spend too much time on this but I'm going I take the understanding that the book of song of songs has a literal explanation of a how marriage should be applied and not an allegorical interpretation of the book and I believe that there is big picture types of like marriage is a type of relationship between Christ and the church but in other words I don't interpret the book as when we read in song of solomons one two if you read there to give you an example it says it begins with the Shulamite saying to Solomon let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth for your love is better than wine the way that I would interpret that is an actual poetry poetry of romance with one spouse to the other and I understand that to be somehow a picture of Jesus or relationship with Jesus Christ or picturing a that each particular point in the book is an allegory like something like Bunyan's pilgrims progress when pilgrim in pilgrimage progress when you have a story then it pictures some other reality so I take a more literal understanding and interpretation of that so in understanding that the genre of literature is poetry and the reason some of the reasons very quickly why I would believe that is that there you have to make a literary argument to say that it's allegory and I don't believe that that the text itself gives us that argument I believe that there are many other forms of ancient poetry that reflect this romance that we can we can observe and know in history there are other ancient customs such as a wasp in in Hebrew where there is a wedding poems that the bride and the husband say to each other that is very similar to what's happening in this book when you look at the genre it is it is poetry it is poetry and so there and there's also if you take an allegorical interpretation one of the difficulties of it is nobody agrees on many on and it's there's an ad hoc or a there is a something of a there's no rules to define how you interpret the pictures for example it's one of the examples of that is when Solomon refers to the the two breasts of his of the Shulamai in the song of Solomon throughout history people have said that though that represents the church and the people or the church and how the church feeds off the breasts of the the people feed off the breast of the church or others have interpreted that picture as the New Testament Old Testament or others have interpreted that picture as love of God and love of neighbor others have interpreted that as blood and water others have interpreted that as inner man outer man you see the point is if you have an allegorical interpretation of that you can't define what does that mean what is it that what is the picture of that me well I believe that it means what it literally says that it's a love poem it's a love poem and that it's actually talking about their actual body okay if that makes sense then I'm just trying to lay some groundwork to understand why I'm explaining the book the way I am so now consider then what if it's if we don't believe that it's allegory then what is it we believe that it's wisdom believe that it's wisdom and this is the consensus of a majority of commentary commentators nowadays that is if it's wisdom wisdom of the gospel applied wisdom of the gospel applied and that when wisdom is given like do you remember in first kings when when God came to Solomon and he said I'll give you whatever whatever you would ask and what a Solomon asked for wisdom so what a Solomon right in Proverbs Ecclesiastes and song of songs he writes that wisdom that the Lord gave him and that wisdom each of those books is the gospel applied what does the gospel look like in the life of a believer the gospel looks like wisdom not foolishness we're not to view it some the wisdom that's offered in these books we're not to view it as as as simply a moralism that here is kind of like a Muslim would view a proverb and say here's here's something that if I do it I'm a better person no we don't understand the the wisdom there so we understand the wisdom that's offered in those books as here's what the gospel looks like when God saves a sinner they look like a wise person they don't look like a fool anymore okay so now the wisdom here think about I'm laying all this foundation so that you can when I give some wisdom later from the actual book that you will understand and understand how to apply it the wisdom here wisdom doesn't work simply by do this okay wisdom is not a command now understand the difference wisdom is something that God puts forward as a beautiful thing outside of you and you have to have the eyes to see the beauty that's there you have to be able to say I see that beautiful plan I see it and I wish and I want that to be in my life I see that that beautiful God's beautiful plan and I desire that I want that I desire to apply that wisdom you see how wisdom is it's not gonna God is not gonna just push it in your face and say you must do this wisdom he sets up and says you're in to win your heart to win your desires to say look this is the better way this is the better way so this book doesn't stress covenant promise redemption forgiveness instead it shows it applied to life when the book because it's wisdom when the book uses much imagery when the book talks about jewels flowers scents oils pleasures these are general emblems of beauty and desire the imagery and the compliments are culturally sensitive so some of the brothers were joking with me they know some of the aspects of the book and they they would talk about the point can point out how Solomon we talks about how his wife found her nose is like a tower and a particular tower I can't remember the name right now we wouldn't use that that directly right to talk about your how your wife's nose is a beautiful tower because it's not culturally sensitive but we would take the wisdom that's there we would take the wisdom that's there and say how can I say the same thing but in a way that she would like in a metaphor in an imagery that that she would see and graphs for example I was talking about this with my wife and if we were to take say a figure of speech today and we say if I tell my wife she looks hot today and then I would take that to ancient Israel and write that down in a book then people in ancient Israel would be like it's hot enough here in Israel as it is what are you talking about right they would not understand the metaphor so in our understanding there when you would desire to apply this book with your spouse you understand that you're going to need to take the wisdom that's there and most of the time you won't be able to directly use it out of the book but you'll be able to get the idea the paradigm on how to apply that in your marriage okay so one other point of laying the foundation before we get into the book is consider how recently a special last 10 years there has been what one Bible teacher called the rape of the song of Solomon and what he means by that and what is that particularly in the past 10 years even some in the reform movement have used the book of song of Solomon as a as a dirty way of attracting people into the church they use the book of song song of Solomon with the song of Solomon when itself is very speaks in veiled ways they use it and and to make it a coarse thing or an immoral thing and you may have seen or heard sermons like that that's why I'm referencing it now where they talk about immorality in a very crude crass way or they talk about the song Solomon I'm sorry so Solomon a very crude and crass way one commentator speaks of people who do this it's when people do this where they see an imagery and they make it a crude they make it in their own mind they make the imagery part of the sex act or they make the imagery part of the anatomy of a man or woman that is something they are seeing into song of Solomon that's something where in the commentator I believe it's has he was saying that that speaks more about the person who's doing that than the song of Solomon and you understand what I'm saying is that speaks more about the corruption in their own hearts to twist the but we've got into something crass that it speaks more about them than it does the book the book itself speaks in a discreet veiled way it speaks plainly where it does talk undoubtedly about intimacy it does speak about the the husband and wife enjoying each other's bodies but it doesn't do it in a crass way it doesn't in a way that you could read it the book of song of songs to the church as a whole and kids wouldn't know what's going on but parents would you see but some people today preach it in such a way you could not have you should not have adults listening to the way they speak let alone that alone kids okay so I just want to speak against that and part of the foundation knowing that you will see that in our sex crazed culture you'll see that you'll see more it's growing and it's very disgusting and it's not that it's a abuse of the book of song of Solomon that's not when you see the book of song of Solomon what I don't want you to think is simply s ex I do not want you to think that don't just look at that and think it is not the book is not a section sex manual it is not a graphic description of sex no body part or no sex act is described in the book okay I want you to see it as a as the gospel applied to the gospel applied to romance and intimacy where it is hinted at it is it is shown for what a beauty the beauty that it is rightly rightly understood consider this quote from grasping God's word the song of song song of songs celebrates the wild irrational mushy and corny aspects of true love this book suggests to us that in the marketplace husbands and wives may may need to be the quiet discerning hard-working people of proverbs but that once the lights go out in the privacy of their home they need to be the crazy madly in love slightly a rational couple in the song of songs you understand that it's a beautiful picture that's a beautiful picture that is something the song of songs is wisdom the gospel applied that's something that nobody sees but your spouse something nobody the wisdom that you see will see today is something that only your spouse knows of and with a simple word discreetly said you could say that and or a look or a wink or a glance you can communicate that with your spouse in public where they know and nobody else knows how what you have enjoyed together the gospel applied in privacy and I want you to to be able to realize that this is a description of the marriage bed is undefiled but for fornicators and adulterers God will judge the gospel apply okay so after setting all that foundation after sitting all that foundation let's look in the book let's hear some wisdom from Solomon let's hear some wisdom from the Shulamai and consider some of the application in our marriages so I'm gonna run through some themes now through the book of song of Solomon let's consider in and read chapter one verses one to four the introduction the song of songs which is Solomon's let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth for your love is better than wine because of the fragrance of your good ointments your name is it is ointment poured forth therefore the versions love you draw me away remember in the book of song of songs that you can understand most of the time by not by the Hebrew words in the description of the number gender person the person you can understand who's speaking okay in many of your Bibles have that over the top they'll have the Shulamai or they have the beloved the way that I my wife and I studied this book in 2009 when we got married and the time just before and after our marriage and so I pulled out my old Bible that I have those notes in to be able to use today and I highlighted with red when the Shulamai is speaking and green when the guy is speaking okay so I'm saying as you listen to this understand and look at the headings in your book to be able to understand who's speaking so here here we have the Shulamai speaking what are some of the wisdom that you see when you see this love poem this love poetry and this collection of poetry assembled together what's some of the wisdom that you see here and can apply in this first section well you can see a gratefulness to God a gratefulness to God that the Shulamai expresses wisdom as she complements and expresses a desire for her husband what is she considered the wisdom of this if you are not grateful to God if the gospel isn't applied in other words if you you're thinking I deserve better I deserve better than what I'm getting that you won't be able to express this you see how this is a necessary application of the gospel the gospel makes it so you realize you don't deserve anything but wrath from God so then the good news that he brings the good gifts that he brings are better than you deserve that grateful heart begins to look then that your spouse with redeemed eyes and realizing you have been given something that's better than you deserve and so then you begin to see in your spouse in romance in intimacy something that you better than you deserve and here she expresses a love and wanting him to draw her away consider the wisdom of how she's taking an initiative here she's taking initiative in the romance so it's it's all right you see how the Shulamai does that it's all right for ladies to do that in times you notice guys the wisdom could be for you look at how he smells nice you see how there there's something that's very practical she likes the the cologne she likes the way he washes up she likes that he doesn't smell like the gym room consider how in verse 3 also not only she likes the way she smells but he likes his she likes his good name your name is an ointment poured forth you see that in verse 3 both the way he smells and his good name it's his good character and he prepares himself for her you see there's a connection guys between the two you can't just throw on cologne and and immediately think that you're gonna be ready for romance guys think more like a microwave ladies think more like a crock pot in regards to romance you remember that analogy so you need to realize guys that what she the wisdom here of what she loves is not only that he prepares himself in good way but he prepares his good name there's a relationship there where she admires his what he's doing for remember how in Hebrew your your name represents all that you are represents your character so you can't live on godly and look good and think that your wife is going to desire to have romance with you you need to be a godly man a combination of those very practical things and those big picture things the gospel applied the more you live godly the more a godly wife desires you you can't be so godly that you don't wash up but you have the combination of the two do you see and what godly woman can resist a clean godly man who has a good name that's wisdom that's wisdom think about when you when you see some of the things think about the practicality of God's plan and see the beauty of it here is it of I introduce this this teaching by talking about the horrors of the world and the the horrors of immorality to contrast the beauty of this here this book has a beauty that you should look at you should see the wisdom of it and desire it and say I want that to be applied in my marriage so moving on consider some other passages in read with me verses five and six where the Shulamai is speaking and she's saying I'm dark but lovely old daughters of Jerusalem like the tents of Keter like the curtains of Solomon do not look upon me because I'm dark because the Sun is tanned me my mother's sons were angry with me they made me the keeper of the vineyards but my own vineyard I have not kept here she's concerned about because the the degree of the tan that she has while she's been working consider the wisdom of how you prepare yourself and how you look for your wife or for your husband there's something where she's conscious of that she's wanting to please him with her appearance the clothes that you dress the way that you do your hair the way that how much weight you have consider those things in view of what your spouse would want there's a practical application there that your body is not your own so you don't just eat what you want just do whatever you want you have in your mind that your body is owned by your spouse here she has some of that concern now what is the what is the inverse a how does the beloved when he first speaks is he is he speaking about what she's conscious of no no he is grateful he expresses that gospel gratefulness with her for her beauty read with me in verse eight if you do not know a fairest among women follow the footsteps of the flock and feed your little goats besides that shepherd's tents I have compared you my love to my Philly among Pharaoh's chariots your cheeks are lovely with ornaments your neck with chains of gold consider again the gospel gratefulness men how are you ready to compliment your wife continually are you ready to observe and meditate upon her beauty how much effort and time do you express meditating on the beauty of your wife look at verse 15 behold you are fair my love you are fair you have doves eyes look at chapter 2 verse 2 like a lily among thorns so is my love among the daughters do you see his gospel gratefulness he doesn't sit there thinking I wish I had a wife that yada yada yada yada I wish she looked this way I wish she had this aspect to her no he thinks meditates expresses to her repeatedly so do you compliment and work at complimenting the beauty the worth and of your wife do you use metaphors you see the use of a metaphor makes it so that you can't you don't just think it up on the spot it's like a love note that you have to prepare beforehand so it's actually a compliment you can't just pick it out and say like oh you look like one of the horses Pharaoh's horses you see how it takes Solomon takes time to express what is it that expresses beauty in the culture what is it that that that I can compare my wife with that would be able to communicate her with thoughtfulness and that she would appreciate do you take the time to pursue your wife in these ways do you delight in her and this is expressing a gospel gratefulness a gospel gratefulness consider how the the wisdom of planning trips and a way together look at how in chapter 1 verses 16 to 17 the Shulamite she says to him behold your handsome my beloved yes pleasant also our bed is green the beams of our houses are cedar and our rafters of fur I am the rose of Sharon and the lily of the valleys she's expressing how they have taken a romantic trip and that they are they're outside consider also different places of the this same this same picture here in chapter 2 where they go to beautiful places and here the beloved speaks or Solomon speaks and in chapter 2 verse 10 my beloved spoke and said to me rise up my love my fair one and come away for low the winter is past the rain is over and gone the flowers appear in the earth the time of singing has come the voice of the turtle dove is heard in our land the fig tree puts forth their green figs and the vines with the tender grapes give it smell rise up my love my fair one and come away there is wisdom in making the time for romance if romance doesn't happen in like a microwave it takes time together have you become so busy have you become so busy with so many other things that you don't have time to romance your spouse that's not wisdom that's foolishness take the time to a side take the time to travel with your spouse take the time to travel and spend time alone it doesn't have to be expensive if you don't have money for it you can go to beautiful places that are free that are free you can go to them and you can enjoy the romance and time with your spouse if your life has become too busy too busy with ministry too busy with good things too busy with work too busy with kids you need to see the wisdom here and take the time take the time you are in a momentary marriage beloved your marriage won't last for all eternity you have a marriage perhaps for 50 years maybe 60 if you're if you're blessed your marriage will not go into eternity enjoy the marriage that you have now and let it be a picture of how good and loving God is to his church so take the time here look in in chapter 4 look at the wisdom of I'll begin to read in verse 1 chapter 4 behold you are fair my love here is Solomon the beloved speaking behold you are fair my love behold you you are fair you have Dove's eyes behind your veil your hair is like a flock of goats going down from Mount Gilead your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep which have come up from the washing every one of it which bears twins and none of them is bearing among them your lips are like a strand of scarlet your mouth is lovely your temples behind your veil are like a piece of pomegranate your neck is like the Tower of David built for an armory on which hang a thousand bucklers all shields of mighty men your two breasts are like a two fawns twins of a gazelle which feed among the lilies you drop down to verse 9 you are have ravished my heart my sister my spouse you've ravished my heart with one look of your eyes with one link of your necklace look at the end of verse 10 and the scent of your perfumes and all spouse then all spices verse 11 your lips on my spouse and rip as the honeycomb honey and milk or under your tongue and the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon consider how he meditates on the beauties of his wife he takes each part and he writes poetry he writes expressing the love and desire you see how that that takes time that takes time to meditate on it takes time and it's worth it enjoy the blessing that God has given you consider wisdom of so some of the wisdom we've talked about is gospel gratefulness that complements your spouse wisdom that we've seen is taking the man or the woman taking initiative wisdom that we've seen is taking planning trips away going away together spontaneously or planned wisdom that we've seen is that you're to work complimenting with metaphors the beauty of your spouse you need to keep your thoughts wisdom is keep your thoughts and eyes for her look at chapter 6 verses 3 and 9 chapter 6 verse 3 wisdom applied is your thoughts and your delights are to be just for your spouse and no one else chapter 3 I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine he feeds his flock among the lilies look at verse 9 now the beloved speaks my dove my perfect one is the only one the only one of her mother the favor of the one who bore her the daughter saw her and called her blessed the queens the concubines and they praised her consider how the the exclusivity of the the light in the relationship you need to daydream and lust over your spouse absence should make your heart grow fonder absence should make you grow fonder look at chapter 3 verses 1 to 5 here we have the bride the shulamite speaking in verse 1 by night on bed I sit on my bed I sought the one I love I sought him but I did not find him I will rise now and go about the city in the streets of the squares I will seek the one I love I sought him but I did not find him the watchman who go about the city found me I've said have you seen the one I love scarcely if I pass by when I found the one I love I held him and would not let him go until I had brought him into the house of my mother and to the chamber of her who conceived me I charge you o daughters of Jerusalem by the gazelles or by the doves of the field do not stir up or nor awake and love until it pleases here we see the wisdom another aspect of wisdom write these down remember these apply these in your marriage the wisdom that absence from your spouse should make your heart grow fonder you see in her absence she doesn't say well now I can work to something that I wanted to do but now that he's gone instead she uses time away from him in concern and looking for him and in daydreaming and in satisfaction when they are reunited and then she takes that initiative not only to desire the relationship but to desire the intimacy back with him and she brings him and they go together back into that intimacy except wisdom would be accepting the romantic advances of your spouse look at chapter four verse sixteen though the spot the bride says awaken of northwind and calm oh South blow upon my garden that it spices my flow out let my beloved come to his garden and eat its pleasant fruits she wants him to come and enjoy her he wants to you need to accept the romantic advances of your spouse excuse me now remember what's the theme that I've been I've been coming back to the gospel applied means that you will have gratefulness for this it means you'll have mercy in this when you think about the past history with your spouse in regards to romance and intimacy we have many of us have experiences that are not what they should be many of us have immoral experiences from our past lives many of us can dwell on those wrong experiences but when the gospel is applied it means you have humility it means that you have gratefulness it means that you work forward in with mercy as God has mercy so now to begin to close when we look over some of this wisdom from Solomon from the Shulamite to summarize for you to write down you guys wisdom personal hygiene verse chapter 1 verse 3 a good name chapter 1 verse 3 plan trip chapter 2 verses 10 to 13 keep listening guys compliment her continually chapter 1 verses 8 to 10 verse 15 chapter 2 verse 2 guys express her beauty her worth chapter 4 verses 1 to 15 delight in her pursue her guys chapter 6 verses 3 and 9 teach you to keep your eyes on your thought just for her chapter 7 verses 1 to 9 show about how you should daydream delight in enjoy lost over your spouse ladies listen wisdom from the Shulamite wisdom from the Shulamite chapter 1 verses 2 3 compliment him chapter 1 verse 4 take the initiative chapter 1 verse 6 take care of yourself physically for him chapter 1 verse 16 to 17 plan trips to beautiful places together ladies listen chapter 3 verses 1 to 5 absence should make your heart grow fonder often in a beautiful marriage the one who staying home is the one who has the opportunity to plan more whether sometimes when the when the spouse goes when the wife goes shopping then the guy can stay home and plan out something in that absence for when she comes home or vice versa ladies listen the wisdom chapter 4 verse 16 accept his romantic advances desire them chapter 5 verses 10 to 16 daydream lost of your spouse and in chapter 8 we will read this last verse from song of Solomon chapter 8 verses 6 to 7 consider the importance that romance and love are not just we're not just talking about sex here we're talking about a the whole person and verses 6 and 7 set me as a seal of this is of chapter 8 set me as a seal upon your heart is a seal upon your arm for love is as strong as death jealousy as cruel as the grave its flames are flames of fire a most of a hemmed flame many waters cannot quench love nor can the floods drown it if a man would give for love all the wealth of his house it would be utterly despised do you see do you can you warm your relationship by the flames of the of the passion of Solomon and the shulmai warm your cold relationship by the flames and the heat that you can read by reading these love poems and know that God has given these love poems as a wisdom to you for you to be applying in your marriage that's wisdom the fool the fool that's life go by so now remember our theme the gospel applied in song Solomon there once was a husband who had a who had a great love for his wife and she she went and she committed adultery on him and he was crying out to God crying out to God God why would you allow this to happen and she continued to commit adultery on him so much so that she began to work as a prostitute she began to work as a prostitute and he had to go and he had to go and purchase her in order to bring her home you remember that story from Hosea well what is that story a greater picture of you were the one committing adultery on God you were committing adultery on God in idolatry and God himself went to the slave market and bought you back a whore and he bought you back bought you by his own blood he bought you by his own blood purchased you to save you and bring you to a real pure relationship to him where you love him more than anything else this is the gospel since God has had this relationship for his people he pleads this way with Israel of all and he pleads this way in his redemption for how he purchased his bride the church by his own blood should you not apply the gospel to your spouse should you not have grace for your spouse in this way you see how the gospel is the heart now let's close with practical applications practical applications humble yourself to ask your spouse what they would like and dislike you got to shut your mouth and open your ears and you gotta not do what you think will be best you need to do what they would want what we'll be pleasing to them take the time to do that privately with your spouse and if you've done that before do it again because you'll need the reminders you slump back into your old rut you slump back into your old rut and you think it's okay now go back again go back again and perhaps you will learn something new you will learn something new that your spouse will tell you that you weren't thinking about that you'd forgotten but they would desire take the time and humble yourself to ask your spouse what they would like or dislike in romance or in intimacy the love package take time off say no to some things so you can make your your spouse a priority in this way take time off for this take the time to assess with your spouse and grade your marriage in this regard consider these grades that I could offer as a example your grade could be a to b a to b that would be like often your marriage is as hot as the Florida sand on a summer afternoon often as hot as the Florida sand on summer afternoon consider the grade c to d you regularly neglect to put effort into romancing your spouse or effort into intimacy or consider the grade of f sins of some kind have drained desire from you bitterness anger viewing immoral material thoughts of another if it thoughts letting thoughts of adultery come in your mind idolatry idolatry does this if you love something more than God it will drain your good desires out of you in other words if you're a workaholic and you and you put so much effort into work then you neglect your spouse it's because you you have lost love for God and they said you have loved for whatever work you're doing instead of God and that will drain your good desires you'll say I'm not too I'm too busy I got too many things to do and you see that's a result of now applying the gospel of not having loving God with all your heart soul and mind consider how intimacy is instituted by God romance instituted by God from the garden and now to be applied in your redeemed marriage therefore it can be pure it can be holy it can be enjoyed keep sex in perspective love is the issue the relationship is a whole issue sex is important but is not the whole it is a part of a greater picture romance intimacy should not be self-focused but it should not be self-serving please hear me on this point it you need to consider the good of your of the spouse you do not see the Solomon or the Shulamite considering only self-interest they delight in pleasing their spouse romance and intimacy are a culmination of the relationship their culmination of the relationship understand sexual excitement is most certainly different in your spouse you need to humble yourself to understand again and again understand will be pleasing to them and understand that this is this joy this blessing is to be enjoyed regularly joyfully and enthusiastically that is wisdom from God's word beloved considering closing God has given a whole book to teach you how not just to the fact that the marriage bed is under filed but he's giving you a whole book on how to romance your spouse would you neglect that wisdom would you neglect that wisdom of the gospel applied don't neglect it don't be a fool see the beauty see the beauty that God displays in this these love poems see the beauty and understand that the gospel applied there the gospel applied in this way is a reflection of Christ's love for his church it's a reflection of how God saves you in the gospel and in that way you can be the type you can be the picture love Christ in his church here's the picture that God wants you to be with your spouse please value this wisdom value this wisdom and apply it let's pray dear Lord God thank you for your word thank you for the good news of the gospel thank you for redeeming us though we were we were cheating on you we were idolaters Lord thank you for buying us out the slave market of sin dear God we pray please help us to apply the gospel by romancing and pursuing our our spouses with love not being self-focused but considering the good of others we need you Lord to apply wisdom we need you to see wisdom we need you to have this gospel grace Lord help us to love you above all else Lord God and help us to apply that love for you with with great love for our spouses amen