 In this video we're going to take a trip down memory lane and go back to season 3 of the office where Pam unfortunately drank some spoiled milk but as always there are some very valuable lessons that we can learn from these episodes that can teach us how to avoid the same mistakes. What is up everybody this is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel sometimes what I like to do is pull different topics from movies, tv shows, music, pop culture, all that kind of stuff to see what lessons we can learn from them so if you're into that make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell so yeah my beautiful girlfriend Tristan and I we've been binge watching the office we just made it to season three and I have a ton a ton of topics to talk about from this show and there's so many lessons that we can learn but like I said in this video specifically I want to focus on Pam in season three in the beginning of season three first half of it I think we're on episode 15 or 16 but we're gonna be talking about spoiled milk so let's set the scene for season three so season three starts out with Jim at the other office because he transferred because at the end of season two he confessed his love for Pam right after Pam I got engaged to Roy and she was planning the wedding and I believe it was that casino night and he went and he kissed her and she kind of shut him down but anyways he ended up transferring he's just like you know what I'm done with this whole Pam thing so he goes to the new office where he meets Karen played by Rachita Jones and they end up starting to date but that branch shuts down so he comes back to the good old office where he started out now you can obviously see that Pam is upset about this Jim still has feelings for Pam but he's trying to hide him because you know obviously he's with Karen but Pam is very very upset about this um there is even a scene where she's crying and Dwight comes to console her thinking that uh you know she's having her monthly but anyways Pam is clearly upset about this now at this point in uh the series Pam has also broken off her engagement from Roy Roy looks different he's been getting into shape I think he mentioned that he got a DUI as well but he still obviously has a thing for Pam and he keeps trying to pursue her he's always figuring out ways to go up to the office and talk to her and all of that right well anyways in Pam's you know sadness about Jim's new relationship with Karen Pam starts finding Roy to be a little bit better so what ends up happening is at the wedding of Phyllis and uh Bob Vance from Vance Refrigeration I Roy ends up having the the band play their song he dances with Pam outside he's like oh you want to get out of here and Pam is upset because Jim is with Karen right so Pam ends up saying sure Roy and she ends up you know going back to his place and they start dating again and here's where things get tricky all right because what you see from Pam and Roy is that although Roy tried to change some things about himself like Roy is still Roy Roy is still very inconsiderate self-centered thinking about himself not giving his all to the relationship not thinking as much about Pam's need and we start to see this come to fruition when Pam has her art show and Roy doesn't want to go right but it also shows up when they're all going out for drinks and Roy doesn't want to go he just wanted to hang out with his brother and get messed up right and even when Roy shows up to the art show with his brother he ends up bouncing pretty soon so they can go out and drink a party and something that Pam is realizing is that Roy hasn't changed that much even though Pam is saying that she's like setting these boundaries and she's saying what she wants and all that kind of stuff so anyways now you're sitting here saying Chris what you're talking about with spoiled milk well many years ago one of my mentors um when I was a younger buck back in my 20s he taught me about the spoiled milk philosophy and here's what it is please pay attention write it down and grant it in your brain all right what he taught me because I I've always been somebody who uh went back to X's right like I spent a lot of my 20s doing this and it never worked out and something he explained to me he's like Chris going back to an X is like pulling milk out of the fridge drinking it realizing it spoiled putting it back into the fridge and then coming back days weeks months years later and trying to drink from it again thinking that it's going to be better right because basically what he was telling me is that like the relationship ended for a reason you know and we get into this idea this fantasy that things are going to be better now something Pam even admits I think it was to Kelly is when her and Roy get back together is Pam says that it's familiar and from my experience from my experience just my own personal experience as well as talking with others who have that tendency to drink that spoiled milk is this is extremely common a lot of people get back with their X's because it's comfortable it's safe right like how many of us have this fear of rejection you know what I mean like that is one of the reasons why being single is so difficult um because you have this fear of being rejected you got on the dates you know there's the whole courting phase like you know I like them do they like me how much do they like me and all these other things and all this back and forth and you're just going crazy right there's so much of that and then even when becoming committed to a new person or meeting that new person then there's that fear is this person going to hurt me what what don't I know about this person are there any skeletons in their closet you know what happens when you know we go through a difficult time how are they going to react to that there's so many unknowns and we as human beings hate hate hate hate having unknowns so when you combine all of these things together this is often why we go back to X's because we know that person likes us we know they're attracted to us we know what they're all about so there's a huge part of us that believes or that even justifies like you know what I would rather get back with this person hoping that they change their their certain things about them than trying to experiment with something new and this is how a lot of us get caught up getting back into a previous relationship and I would love to hear from all of you down in the comments below have you gotten back with an X and how did it work out like let me know down in the comments I have seen some people where they said yeah it did work out don't get me wrong this this can work just from my personal experience not just my own but also speaking with a ton of other people and you know friends family members clients I had when I was working at the treatment center and all of that like I see a lot of people do this and just like a rough estimate off the top of my head 90 percent of the time it doesn't work so there are always going to be exceptions to the rule of you know oh well you know they went out and they you know they got better and you know they they went to therapy or they went to you know treatment and got sober or whatever it is like sometimes this can work but in most cases a lot of people don't change all right and that sounds pretty rough to say but it's just the reality of it like whenever I bring up that point with people like I just want you to ask yourself like when has been a time when you went through like a massive a massive personality change right like how many times have have you been stuck in a relationship for way too long waiting on the other person to change like I just want you to think about that for a minute right so think about that and like something that helped me out when I was back in the dating scene and everything before I got with my beautiful girlfriend um like I don't like wasting time right like I am a firm believer when somebody shows you who they are like believe them and like when I was even just in the talking phase and I saw all these things coming up like one of them is somebody fighting with you very early on in a relationship one of them is them not supporting like your passions things that you like to do your hobbies or whatever it is or you know they don't want to hang out with your friends or whatever the case is like if you see that early on in a relationship in my opinion that is a major major red flag all right but anyways I'm not sure what's gonna happen with Pam and Roy in this season um the series ended like some years ago so I already know like most of what happens and all that but I won't spoil it for any of you who just started the watching uh watching the office like I did but anyways again let me know down in the comments below if you've ever gotten back with an ex how did it work out was it a good decision bad decision I put up a poll the other day on the community tab as well asking you guys if you've ever dated somebody in the office and how did that work out and a lot of you I think right now the majority of you said it was the worst decision of your life and that's something that I do want to talk about because a lot of people in this office specifically Jim dates a lot of co-workers and oftentimes that's not a very good idea so that will be a video that's coming up uh in the near future as well as some videos about Michael Scott and I think you know Meredith she's an interesting character just because you know um I was an alcoholic for many years uh I think Kelly is a fascinating character her relationship with Ryan that's something else like there's so many relationship topics from this show but anyways show us hilarious we binge watch it almost on the nightly so there are any other topics that you want me to discuss um let me know down in the comments below there's actually an article I found about uh well actually Tristan found about Michael Scott like being a narcissist it's like extremely long too and I want to dive into that anyways anyways I'm gonna shut up I'm gonna let you go I'm gonna go do some stuff so if you like this video please 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