 and he's with you today, wherever you happen to be, wherever you're watching, hope today. God is with you and he's got plans and purposes. It's going to be a great day in him. Thank you for joining us on Hope Today. I'm Tom. I'm here with Sydney. I'm here with Amy. A great day is in store, Amy. Oh man, I am really excited for you to hear from a young, cool adult girl who has written a book. Grace Valentine is our special guest today. She's covering topics such as body image, disappointment, navigating relationships, failure, purpose, and faith to the girl looking for more. This devotional encourages girls to stop settling for the world's image of post worthy perfection and live for more joy, more peace, and more meaning. This is not only for the young adults, this is for the middle-aged adults as well. I love these topics like these because I feel especially as women, when we see things in the media, we see magazines, we see movies, we see music, there's this whole image that sometimes we feel like we have to live up to. But this is something even Amy and Tom that I just remember being a 20-year-old like 10 years ago and just having these moments of just feeling I have to look a certain way or be a certain way. But the moment that I just came into Christ, the moment that I started surrendering all the moment that he began to speak to me about my identity and how he made me fearfully and wonderfully made, it really transformed my life. So I just believe no matter if you're a man or you're a woman and you're struggling in these areas, there's something that we can all learn. There's something that we can all glean because it is so important for us now more than ever to understand our identity in Christ because that's what truly sets us free, Tom. It's so true and it's not just ladies, it's guys too. I mean we have the same kind of struggles. I don't know if maybe not in the same way, but there's so many things that can make us insecure and one of the greatest freedoms in my life. It's interesting because I used to think as I had this real strong Christian leader as a young adult and I thought, well, one of these days I'm going to be like that person. And I found out, hey, you know what? God made me to be me. He made me to be the person I am and use the gifts I have. There's so much freedom in that when you finally have that. You have to know who you are in Christ and you have to know what God says about you because Instagram is telling you who you should be, Twitter is telling you who you should be, TikTok is telling you who you should be, but who does God say that I am? Man in a world where we're inundated with images and words and thoughts about what woman should look like, be like, what man should look like, be like. Now's the time for truth. That's right. And speaking of truth, we're going to find out how much we know the truth of God here on Stump the Host. Dave, they put out the challenge here. They're saying they're too easy. I didn't say they're too easy. I just felt like they're just easy. I just felt like it was okay. That was last time. We challenged them and said it was too easy. So they took up the challenge. This is, by the way, this Stump the Host is woman of the Bible themed and we don't know the questions. We're going to nail it. Oh, okay. Let's go. Here we go. Here's the first question. What woman helped the Israelite spies who were scouting out her city of Jericho? Easy. Tell me. Rahab. Rahab. Are we all good with Rahab? I think we're going to say Rahab. Okay. We got the first one. Amy, I think you got the next question. I love these questions. Okay. In the book of Acts, who was the business woman who dealt in fine purple fabrics? Lydia. Boom. Okay. Yes. Let's go. Sprinkle the joy. I am so happy. Wow. You guys are like on that. Women of the Bible give us something hard. Okay. Here we go. Uh-oh. Here's the tough one, I think. Who is the most mentioned woman in the Bible? Okay. I feel like it can't, it's not going to be Eve because that would be too easy. It could either be Sarah or Mary. I feel like Sarah. Mary Magdalene has mentioned a lot too. I feel like throughout the whole Bible, like Sarah. Sarah. Right. We need a final answer. I'm going with Sarah. Sarah? Okay. The mother of our faith. We're going to say Sarah. Take that. I'm so excited. See? Today's questions and answers can be found on the Hope Today page on our website if you want to see how great we did. Oh wow. Okay. Now let's get to some real amazing discussions about women, girls, and all that entails in today's world. It can be frustrating, especially for young women, to live up to the expectations that the world has placed on them. Our next guest has felt the pressure of our culture's conflicting messages firsthand and has made it her mission to help young women navigate their own journey of faith. Grace Valentine is a podcast host and an author and in her new devotional to the girl looking for more. She encourages young women to live a life of meaning and authenticity. Grace, welcome to Hope Today. I am so thankful to be with y'all today. So thank you so much for having me. Did you know the answers to Stump the Host? Yes. Okay. Well, Sarah made more sense. I was close to thinking Mary Magdalene. So I thought that maybe it could have been Mary Magdalene. It was like a plot twist. But then it makes more sense for an Old Testament woman to be mentioned more. And so yeah, that one got me. Or Lydia, I almost stopped to have that for a second too because I know she was in the sewing nervous too. But that one kind of stopped me, but I was between those two. I absolutely love your new devotional. I actually text several people this morning and said, you must get this into all young women's hands because you're so honest. And I can really hear your voice through it. You start off at the very beginning and you're saying, I wonder where you're reading this book. Is it in your old teal bedroom that you grew up in at the little girl or is it in your messy dorm room? Is it somewhere in the south? But what I really want to know is where are you mentally? Yeah, I mean, I pray for my readers a lot of knowing that they're going to be different locations. Like maybe they're reading it on an airplane, maybe this is their dorm room where they're getting, they have a bad roommate situation, which some of us have had that in college. Maybe it's at home in this tension, their families getting divorced. And so like you might be physically somewhere, but where you are spiritually and mentally, that's what matters more to God. And he wants to meet you where you're at, but call you to hire and get you out of that. Like whatever that space you are, whatever the insecurity you're feeling. And so that's always the first thing I like pray for when I think of my readers is like, where are they at? Like, I get curious. I'm like, Oh, is anyone in Montana? I've never been to Montana, you know, but also where are they at in their hearts? And like, are they going through a breakup? Are they going through an eating disorder? Are they, you know, feeling very lonely? Because that's so many young women today are going through so much. And you say in your book, you say, sit with me, little sister. Do you feel in a way like you are the big sister just talking real to the younger sister? I mean, that's my prayer. I love the quote, be who you need when you were younger. And it reminds me of a be who you needed before Christ. It's kind of the way I look at it, like be who you needed when you were broken. And so when I think of like my readers, I'm like, I just want to be who I needed. I never had a big sister. I never had a little sister. And I have a big brother, which I'm very thankful for. But so I do look at my readers as like my little sister, I'm like, here's the advice, here's the mistakes I made, like please do better. You know, like, here's what God has taught me here's some wisdom that comes from the Holy Spirit. Here's what scripture means. Like, this is hopefully a guide for young women. Like that's been my prayer is that this will be something they can open to and they'll be like, I'm going through shame. Like I need to find a devotion or not. Like I'm going through loneliness. I feel overlooked. Like, let's see what what scripture aligns with that. And so I do view them as their little sisters. I was laughing out loud at your honesty through this book talking about, you know, adult acne. And, you know, as you're scrolling through Instagram and that girl is now dating a pilot, you know, of all people and just the just the realness. How important was it for you to be honest and real versus perfect and flawed? Yeah. Well, I think honestly, in today's social media world, there's so many young women who see a lot of other young women who are posting their best. Like, you know, it's the social resumes these days, TikTok or Instagram. And so and I would read Christian books and for a while, I felt like I was hearing about stories that when people did things right, and that is so beautiful and so powerful of hearing people who did things right. But I'm like, you know what, like, I want to be honest about my insecurity and the things that like everyone else thinks I think they're thinking too. Because I'm probably not alone in that. And talking about the things that I'm almost a little more embarrassed about or that feel lonely because there's so much power when you speak a lie that the enemy is saying. And other people realize that they're being targeted to that same lie and helps the body of Christ just be built up and work together. And so yeah, I feel like I try to be relatable, I try to be honest, probably to that fault. But like sometimes I'm like, oh my gosh, my parents reading this, you know, so but other than that, it's like so fun and so powerful when I get to meet a girl who's like, wait, I was upset that my this one girl of my time was getting a pilot due and it made me jealous, you know, so that is very much my goal for it. And you're very honest about, you know, going through the party life and the sorority life in college. And what is your Christian faith story? Like, were you raised in a Christian home? Did you, you know, you went into the partying life? When did you find Christ again? Yeah, so I mean, well, I grew up in South Louisiana. And I think in general, it was, South Louisiana has a different culture in the drinking. So I never, I never really prayed about conviction. Like, I just looked around and was like, I'm better than these people. So like, I'm good, like, you know, and then I went to college and I chose Baylor because I went to public high school. So I was like, Baylor will be great. And in high school, I went from being kind of weird to very popular at once. And I was more insecure than ever before when I was popular. And I thought like, if I became class president, if I was on homecoming court, my problems with Bivedy Bopney Boo. And that didn't happen. So I thought I had a strong foundation for my faith. My family knows Christ. But I didn't really have that strong foundation going to college. So then when everyone was drinking, and that was what was cool. And that was, you know, there was other Christian groups, but I didn't want to be, they looked like, you know, so I was like, I'd rather be with the cool girls in this group. And that is when I think I believed the lie that it was fun. And I think when it comes to young adults who drink in that party lifestyle, you can tell them, yeah, it's illegal to do because you're underage and like that does make it a sin. But I'm like, it's also just not fun to like drink a lot of shots and get loaded and text someone that you regret, like, and wake up with a headache. Like that's not fun. Like, and I feel like that's finally what I realized is like, Oh my gosh, this isn't freeing. I was sold a lot. Like this is, this was supposed to be a fun experience. I'm just waking up with a lot of regret, a lot of hurt, a lot of like miscommunication due to alcohol. And I think young adults today are told either like, it's a sin because it's illegal or it's true, but that's not going to stop them. They would speed, you know, and especially in South Louisiana, I didn't stop anyone anyways, but it's a sin because it's illegal or that like, it's okay. Like this grace and that's also not the truth is grace convicts you and helps you turn away from sin. And so I just feel like I need to be told in that age that you're not having fun. Like this is not God's best. Like God has better plans and like obedience isn't going to stop you from having fun and venture. If anything, it's going to help you gain adventure and gain fun and gain actual freedom. And like freedom doesn't come from going to a frat party and dressing like an animal. Like, you know, like freedom comes from Christ. And so I'm learning that there's a lot of girls who actually want to be told that like in like big sorties at SEC schools on childhood to speak a lot. And they're like, thank you for saying something as simple as that. You know, gracious hearing you talk, it reminds me of just like, I went to Temple University. So I understand like being in that college life and that, you know, partying and the drinking and waking up, hanging up all of those things. I've done like, I was like, yes, I'm totally experienced exactly the same thing that you've experienced. And can you just share like how in the midst of that, in the midst of like, you know, it's at that inner conflict and the turmoil, how even in the midst of that, that you did finally just started to discover that God in the midst of it, that he was with you the whole time. What did that look like in that part of your journey of your life? Well, honestly, I think for me, it reminds me of the story of Hagar, where like, you know, you're in the wilderness. You're the most vulnerable ever. You're like, everything seems against me. I've run away. I've trying to escape what feels like it against me, but now I'm in a more dangerous position. You know, you escape your small town with the mom's gossip about you. And now you're in this party scene and you feel more lonely or lonelier than ever. And so I really resonate with sort of Hagar, because I think sometimes when you wake up and you feel like you're in that wilderness, that's how like, you know, a hangover and feeling like you're stuck in that party phase can feel like. But just realizing that there was a God who sees me, was one of the most beautiful things that I had found them. The idea that like, God has seen me at my worst, but he's calling me higher. He's also going to protect me. He's going to leave me and give me the things he knows I need, and also provide me the strength I need to power through and to tread on the unknown, the confusion, the insecurity. And so I mean, I would honestly, the way that I came to know Jesus in the midst of that was like, I just had a night where I felt so alone. I go back to my room and I was like crying. I was like, this is some fun. Like I feel more lonely than ever before. And it truly felt like there was a God who saw me in that moment. And I had the most honest prayer at that point. And I was like, I felt the conviction of I need to take steps away. Like this is great that I'm crying. Like I think sometimes people are like, don't cry because it's something you can't control. It's the past. But I need to feel that conviction for the first time ever so that I could turn away and walk towards obedience. And so that's kind of how it went for me. And I think there was no Bippity Boppity Boo. It was a lot of learning because I think wisdom is something the Holy Spirit comes inside. And like slowly you start learning the voice of the spirit. And like, I'm going to choose wisdom. I'm going to follow scripture. And it was, it was work, you know? Christ enters your heart, but you have to also start saying, I want more. And that's kind of like the book that like, I want more contentment and not more hangovers. Like I want more joy and not more group texts that are gossiping. You know, I have to choose the more that is worthy of God's best. Grace, I haven't grown up really insecure myself right at the time. You know, you've got this kind of toxic mix of insecurity and peer pressure right when you're the most insecure. There's all this peer pressure that you're experiencing and some of the most difficult pressures of my life. And I'm sure that it's that way for everyone. What does a Christian do? What does a person do to guard themselves against all this peer pressure that wants to pull them in a certain direction? Yeah. Well, so especially with young people today, I always say we've lost the ability and the respect for mentorship and wisdom. Like Ecclesiastes says, there's nothing new or designed. What has been will be again. And I think older generations have realized if you want to learn how to change attire, like you had to talk to someone older than you and you're like, can you give me steps? How do I change attire? This generation and my generation, we YouTube it. We're like, I don't need to talk to anyone. Like I'm going to YouTube it. Like I don't need any advice like that from someone else. I can figure out on my own. And I think when you're struggling with insecurity, that is the, that's the most lonely thought you can think of that I'm going to figure this out on my own. Like if I just like keep these thoughts to myself and try to work on this on my own, I don't want anyone to think I'm pathetic for thinking this. So I'm not going to admit it. And that almost makes insecurity worse at this age, especially because when you try to do it on your own and then you don't find God's strength and you don't find the body of Christ. And without those two things, like you're missing out on community and being seen. And that's a very lonely place to be, especially when you're insecure. And so for all young people, I'm like, you need to find someone older than you. Like someone who has walked through it. There's nothing under the sign. And so social media may be different, but the same time when you're going through is not that distinct, you know? And so it's not different sin is sin. And so finding mentorship that you can be honest with, like crazy, honest, like this is my worst thought. And also when it comes to insecurity, I've noticed a lot of people, you see problems that are worsening you. Like you just open the news and you're like, wow, my life is pretty good. Even when you are struggling with body image or insecurity or feeling left out. But it's so important to acknowledge that just because someone's whole body aches doesn't mean that your arm doesn't ache. That just because there are bigger problems today does not mean that God doesn't care about your insecurity, your lies, your stress. And for during finals week, that your family issues, your parents divorce, it happened 10 years ago. Like he cares about that too. So thinking of not only that there's a God who cares, but there's also people who are willing to walk with you if you give church another chance, even if you've been hurt. And if you find someone older than you who'll disciple you, because there's a reason Jesus pressed that on the like, you know, he said, like, go make disciples. Like that was one of the most important commandments that we are called to do. And so I think this generation is being disciple without realizing it by online voices. And so it's important for them to actually have that Christian discipleship that comes from someone older than them that they can be honest about those insecurities with. Grace, I was shocked by a statistic that you wrote in your book from the Dove study that 90% 96% of American women wake up in the morning and do not feel beautiful. Let's say today you are taking my 23 year old daughter to coffee and of course has to be a bougie place because you've got to get pictures of it all to post on your Instagram. But what would you say to her today? Yeah. Well, I think my favorite thing to tell young women is if it, if you died tomorrow, this is like kind of morbid, but like if your funeral, if everyone got up at your funeral and said, wow, she was so hot, like that was she was so beautiful. Like she was so like her body on spring break was so like it was bomb. Like you think that's the worst funeral ever. Like please I need to read out funds like I talk about my character, talk about my kindness, talk about my humor, talk about the way you saw love, gentleness, goodness and faithfulness in me. And so that's the legacy you want and that's the legacy you should be working towards. And so I've like at the end of the day, like my looks like there will always be someone in the world's terms prettier than me and I can't control from the prettiest girl in the room, but I can't be the kindest. I can't be the most inclusive. I can't bear the freedom of the spirit and make someone see the goodness of Christ. And so and that's beautiful and like the way I love and if I focus on loving instead of trying to prove that I'm worth loving, that is a legacy worth living. And so I love to tell girls that like, okay, you know, maybe your ex-boyfriend left you for someone who's quote unquote hotter. There's nothing you can do about it. Some people might think she's prettier, but at the end of the day, you're beautiful because of the way you live and that's Christ inside you. And not as a legacy you want to live. And I think that's so freeing to think because some of this generation has grown up being like, you're the prettiest princess, like when they're 10 years old, and then they realize, wait, no, like Sarah in math class is definitely a lot prettier. But I'm like, beauty is as beauty does, you know, and like if you have the characteristics of Christ, that is something that is worthwhile and meaningful. And that is who I want to be. Like that's the legacy I hope to live that if people stood up at my funeral and we talked about my looks, it would be pathetic and I'd be annoyed. And so I want to live a life where people talk about my kindness. Grace, you just want to pull a surprise for that answer. Would you take a minute and will you pray for all of the young women watching? I mean, there's mothers praying for their daughters. There's daughters watching that are rebelling against God. Will you take a minute and just grasp them in the spirit? I would love that by your head. Dear God, Lord, I just pray for everyone watching this first for their own heart, Lord, that you will continue to pursue it and that they will see the God who sees them, Lord, and that they'll realize that it is better to be loving than to waste their time trying to prove that they're worth loving. Lord, I pray for their daughters, their sisters, their granddaughters, their cousins, their nieces, whoever they have on their heart, Lord, that they know is struggling. I pray first for the person watching us who knows you, Lord, that they will text and they will reach out to them. They will get coffee with them, that they will be that mentor, that wisdom and that guided force, Lord, that points them to you, Lord, a bridge that shows them your goodness and your faithfulness so that in the hard seasons of their 20s, their teens, 30s, or whatever age they are at, that they will be able to see your glory in the midst of the confusion, Lord. I pray for anyone struggling with insecurity and trying to feel like they need to be more, that they'll remember that you are God of more, that you give us more than we ever need, Lord, and that with you all things are working for your good, Lord, and we trust that, Lord. I just pray for anyone here also listening, whether they're a guy or girl, who just feels like they don't hear you, Lord, that you will just reveal yourself in a clear way and that they will go to scripture and go to you, Lord, even in the hardships and even when they're doubting because we know you are present, even when we can't feel you. In your name, you're praying, amen. Amen. Thank you so much, Grace. To the girl who is looking for more, thank you so much for this incredible book. You can pick it up. Please pick it up for that young adult woman in your life. Grace, you are both sweet and powerful and we're so grateful for your ministry. Thank you so much. Y'all have a great day. You too. We'll be right back after this break. We'll send you Listen, Love, Repeat, which presents scriptural examples of those who lived alert, including Jesus, who noticed those who least expected to be seen, gives creative ideas for showing love to friends and family, suggests practical ways to reach out to the lonely, marginalized outcast, helps you comfort the grieving, and so much more. Ask for your copy of Listen, Love, Repeat when you give today. Call 888-665-4483 or go to ctvn.org slash donate. Thank you for your generosity. Hope happens here. We're so glad you're joining us on Hope today and we thank all of you that support us, that we're able to bring conversations like we just had with Grace. You know, I know we're all right now just sitting and saturating and the wisdom that she poured out. You know, one thing just even here in Grace Talk, you know, maybe a little nostalgic because this week actually marks 13 years since I graduated from college and it popped up on our Facebook and my best friends, we were like messaging each other and just saying like, wow, just looking back and reflecting on that time. And when Grace was speaking and she was talking about some of the things that she walked through, some of the things that she's gone through, then when it comes to partying, when it comes to drinking, when it comes to men walking away from you, I think I have been there and maybe you have been there too. And right now my spirit, I just hear God talking about the spirit of rejection that comes about because you're trying to be something that you were never called to be. You're trying to fit into a mold, you're trying to look the part, you're trying to act the part, you're trying to post the pictures, all of these things, but they're meaningless and they don't mean anything because the most important thing is what's on the inside. When Grace was talking about what it looks like when it comes to the day that we die, like what are people going to think of us? Nobody's going to talk about the way that we look or how beautiful we are or the outside, but it truly has to do with who was living inside of us. And today we just want to ask you this question. Who is living inside of you? Who is living inside of you? Is it the image of the world or have you surrendered your life to Christ? No matter how drunk you may have been, no matter how many partners you may have had, no matter if you woke up with a hangover this morning and no matter what the state of your world or your life may look like, there is a great man who came to earth and his name is Jesus and he paid the ultimate price for you and in the middle of your binging, in the middle of your insecurity, in the middle of your shame, he saw you in the midst of it and he died for it and he wants to give you beauty for all of your ashes and because he rose again and because he resurrected and because God loved you so much that he sent his son, he wants you to know that love, that freedom and that joy today. So today friend, ask yourself who is living inside of me? Is it Jesus? Because when it's Jesus, everything changes, everything shifts and it's the greatest relationship you can ever have and you can call our prayer line at 888-665-4483. Tom, what are your final thoughts? Well, I just think that the fact that you can have that, you can have that relationship with God right now. You don't have to wait, you don't have to, you know, get everything right, get everything, all your ducks don't know. We come to God as a mess. We come to God out of our mess and out of our difficulties and we can just say, God, I need you today. I need you in a way more than I've ever needed you. God, I've messed up. God, I haven't followed after you, but we can come and be part. He can make that difference today. When you come to Jesus, you don't have to perform. You don't have to people, please. You don't have to pretend. You don't have to act fake. You just come to Him as real you. Flawed, disappointed, discouraged, whatever it is, dealing with self-esteem, worth, value. Jesus is here. He hears you. He sees you and He knows you and you have hope today. On Tomorrow's Hope Today, learn how to conquer your triggers, fears and worries with God's truth. Author Tara Lynn St. Ellen shares how you can take negative thoughts captive and live victoriously as God intended. Don't miss Tomorrow's Hope Today.