 My name is Sam Baknin and I am the author of Malignan Self-Love, Narcissism Revisit. In 1995, when I coined the phrase narcissistic abuse, I also came up with two coping strategies. If you wanted to get rid of your narcissists, I suggested no contact. This strategy is tackled in another video on my channel. The other strategy I developed, I dubbed background noise. If you insist to stay with the narcissist, if you have no choice, if you have common children, if there are financial complications, if for some reason there is no way for you to exit the toxic remit and charm circle of the narcissist, then I suggested to adopt a strategy called background noise. As background noise, you ask the narcissist no questions. Because if you ask the narcissist a question, it means you doubt him. It means you undermine his authority. It means that you may have thought of something that he had omitted to think of. It means that potentially you are more clever than him. You see things differently. These are all narcissistic injuries. So ask the narcissist no questions. Second principle of background noise. Never criticize the narcissist. Never disagree with the narcissist. The narcissist is always right. The narcissist is omniscient. He knows everything there is to know, even if he doesn't know it. The third principle of background noise is to confine your responses to the content of the question, the query or the prompt by the narcissist. First of all, never initiate a conversation. Only when addressed, talk. So when you are addressed by the narcissist, when you ask your question or broach as a subject, limit your responses and reactions to the subject matter raised by the narcissist. Do not expand the conversation. Do not introduce new topics or new issues. Do not initiate or embark upon tangents which the narcissist didn't think of. Always be there as an echo. Always react. Never throw out. So if you look at these three principles, never ask questions, never criticize and disagree, and never ever expand the topic of conversation beyond the limitations and boundaries set by the narcissist in his initial address, you see that background noise is a very simple technique, a very simple strategy. Simply never initiate, never be proactive. Always react. Always be compliant or even to some extent be subservient. Always be an echo. Always record what the narcissist says and then play it back to him when he wants to hear it. As most narcissists would say, if I wanted your opinion, I would have given it to you.