 Chapter 28 of North and South. This is a LibraVox recording. All LibraVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibraVox.org. Hi, this is Cassie. I am in Chicago and I will be reading Chapter 28 of North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell. Through cross to crown, and though thy spirit's life, trials untold assail with giant strength. Good cheer, good cheer, so an instigator strife, and thou shalt reign in peace with Christ at length. Rose garden. Ah sooth, we feel too strong and wheeled to knee beyond that road. But woe be and come, the soul is dumb, thy cryeth not on God. Mrs. Brownie. That afternoon she walked swiftly to the Higgins house. Mary was looking out for her with a half distrustful face. Margaret smiled into her eyes to reassure her. They passed quickly through the house place upstairs and into the quiet presence of the dead. Then Margaret was glad that she had come. The face, often so weary with pain, so restless with troubleous thought, had now the faint, soft smile of eternal rest upon it. The slow tears gathered into Margaret's eyes, but a deep calm entered into her soul, and that was death. It looked more peaceful than life. All beautiful scriptures came into her mind. They rest from their labors. The weary are at rest. He giveth his beloved sleep. Slowly, slowly Margaret turned away from the bed. Mary was humbly sobbing in the background. They went downstairs without a word. Resting his hand upon the house table, Nicholas Higgins stood in the midst of the floor. His great eyes startled open by the news he had heard as he came along the court for many busy tongues. His eyes were dry and fierce, studying the reality of her death, bringing himself to understand that her place should know her no more. For she had been sickly, dying so long that he had persuaded himself she would not die, that she would pull through. Margaret felt as if she had no business to be there. Familiarly acquainted herself with the surroundings of death, which he, the father, had only just learned. There had been a pause of an instant on the steep crooked stair when she first saw him, but now she tried to still pass his abstracted gaze and to leave him in the solemn circle of his household misery. Mary sat down on the first step she came to and throwing her apron over her head, he began to cry. The noise appeared to rouse him. He took a sudden hold of Margaret's arm and held her till he could gather words to speak. His throat seemed dry. They came up thick and choked and hoarse. Were you with her? Did you see her die? No, replied Margaret, standing still with the utmost patience. Now she found herself proceed. There was some time before he spoke again, but he kept his hold on her arm. All men must die, said he at last, with a strange sort of gravity, which first suggested to Margaret the ideal that he had been drinking, not enough to intoxicate himself, but enough to make his thoughts bewilder. But she were younger than me. Dilly pondered over the event, not looking at Margaret, though he grasps her tight. Suddenly he looked up at her with a wild search and inquiry in his glass. You're sure and certain she's dead? Not a duang? A faint? She's been so before often. She is dead, replied Margaret. She felt no fear in speaking to him, though he hurt her arm with his grip. And the wild gleams came across the stupidity of his eyes. She is dead, she said. He looked at her still with that searching look, which seemed to fade out in his eyes as he gazed. And then he suddenly let go of his hold on Margaret and throwing his body half across the table. He took in every piece of furniture in the room with his violent sobs. Mary came trembling towards him. Get thee gone, get thee gone, he cried, striking wildly and blindly at her. What do I care for thee? Margaret took her hand and held his softly in hers. He tore his hair. He beat his head against the hardwood. Then he lay exhausted and stupid. Still his daughter and Margaret did not move. Mary trembled from head to foot. At last it might have been a quarter of an hour. It might have been an hour. He looked himself up. His eyes were swollen and bloodshot and he seemed to have forgotten that any one was by. He scowled at the watchers when he saw them. He shook himself heavily, gave them one more sullen look, spoke never a word, but made it for the door. Oh, father, father, said Mary, throwing herself upon his arm. Not tonight, any night, but tonight. Oh, help me, he's going out to drink again. Father, I'll not leave you. You may strike, but I'll not leave you. She told me last of all to keep you from drink. But Margaret stood in the doorway silent, yet commanding. He looked up at her defiantly. It's my own house. Stand out of the way when you all make you. He has shaken off Mary with violence. He looked ready to strike Margaret, but she never moved to feature. Never took her deep, serious eyes off him. He stared back at her with gloomy fierceness. If she had stirred hand or foot, he would have thrust her aside with even more violence than he had used to his own daughter, whose face was bleeding from her fall against the chair. Real looking at me in that way for, asked he, at last, daunted and awed by her severe calm. If you think for, to keep me from going what I gave, I choose because she loved you. And in my own house too, where I never asked you to come, you're mistaken. It's very hard upon a man that he can't go to the only comfort left. Margaret felt that he acknowledged her power. What could she do next? He has seated himself on the chair, closed the door, half conquered, half resented, intending to go out as soon as she left her position. But unwilling to use the violence he had threatened not five minutes before. Margaret laid her hand on his arm. Come with me. She said, come to see her. The voice in which she spoke was very low and solemn, but there was no fear or doubt expressed in it, either him or his compliance. He suddenly rose up. He stood uncertain with dog resolution upon his face. She waited him there quietly and patiently waited for his time to move. He had a strange pleasure in making her wait. But alas, he moved towards the stairs. She and he stood by the corpse. Her last words to Mary were, keep my father from drink. Can I hurt her now, mother he? Not can hurt her now. They raised in his voice to a wailing cry he went on. We may quarrel and fall out. We may make peace and be friends. We may cling to skin and bone and not all our grease will ever touch her more. How's her portion on us? Will we hard work first and sickness alas? How's that the life of a dog? And to die without knowing one good piece of rejoice in all her days? Nay, when she, whatever who said, who can know not about it now. It's up drink just to steady me again sorrow. No, said Margaret, softening with this softened manner. You shall not. For life had been what you say at any rate. She did not fear death as some do. Oh, you should have heard her speak of the life to come, the life hidden with God that she is now gone to. He shook his head glancing sideways up at Margaret as he did so. His pale haggard face struck her painfully. You were sorely tired. Where have you been all day? Not at work. Not at work, sure enough. Said he with a short grim laugh. Not at work, you call work. I were at the committee till I was sickened out with trying to make fools her reason. I were fetched to Boucher's wife of four seven this morning. She's bed-fast but she was raving and raging to know where her dunderheaded, brutal chap was as if I had to keep him as if I were fit to be ruled by me. That that fool who has put his foot in all our plans and I walked my feet sore going about for him to see who men wouldn't be seen. Now the laws raced against us and I were sore-hearted to, which is worse than sore-footed. And if I did see a friend who ousted to treat me, I never knew who lying dying here. Best last day, believe me, thou wouldn't, wouldn't thou turn into poor dumb form with wild appeal. I am sure, Saint Margaret, I am sure you did not know. It was quite sudden, but now you see it would be different. You do know. You do see her lying here. You hear what she said with her last breath. You will not go. No answer. In fact, where was he to look for comfort? Come home with me, she said at last with a bold venture, half trembling in her own proposal as she made it. At least she shall have some comfortable food, which I'm sure you need. Your father's a parson, asked you with a sudden turn in his ideas. He was, said Margaret shortly. I'll go and take a dish of tea with him since she asked me. Many a thing I often wish to say to a parson, and I'm not particularly asked whether he's preaching now or not. Margaret was perplexed, his drinking tea with her father, who would be totally unprepared for his visitor. Her mother, so ill, seemed utterly out of the question. And yet if she drew back now, it would be worse than ever. Sure to drive him to the ginshop. She thought that if she could only get him to their own house, it was so great a stuff gained that she would trust to the chapter of accidents for the next. Goodbye, old wench. We've parted company at last, we have, but thou hast been a blessing to thy father, ever since thou were born. Blessed thy white lips has there a smile on them now, and I'm glad to see it once again, though I'm alone and forlorn forevermore. He stooped down and fondly kissed his daughter, covered up her face, and turned to follow Margaret. She had hastily gone downstairs to tell Mary of the arrangement to say it was the only way she could think of to keep him from the gin palace. To urge Mary to come to, for her heart smoldered her at the idea of leaving the poor affectionate girl alone. But Mary had friends among the neighbors, she said, who would come in and sit a bit with her. It was all right but father. He was there by them, as she would have spoken more. He had shaken off his emotion as if he was ashamed of having ever given way to it, and had ever overleaped himself so much that he assumed a sort of bitter mirth, like the crackling of thorns under a pot. Going to take my tea with her father, I am. But he slouched his cap low down over his brow as he went out into the street and looked neither to the right nor to the left, while he trapped along by Margaret's side. He feared of being upset by the worst, still more of the looks of sympathizing neighbors. So he had Margaret walked in silence. As he got near the street in which he knew she lived, he looked down at his clothes, his hands, and shoes. I shouldn't have happened clean myself first. It certainly would have been desirable, but Margaret assured him he should be allowed to go into the yard and have a soap and towel provided. She cannot let him slip out of her hands just then. While he followed, the house served along the passage in through the kitchen, stepping cautiously on every dark mark in the pattern of the oil cloth, in order to conceal his dirty footprints, Margaret ran upstairs. She met Dixon on the landing. How's mama? Where's papa? Mrs. was tired and gone to her own room. She had wanted to go to bed, but Dixon had persuaded her to lie down on the sofa and have her tea brought to her there. It would be better than getting restless by being too long in bed. So far so good, but where was Mr. Hale? In the drawing room, Margaret went in half-breathless with the hurried story she had to tell. Of course, she told it completely and her father was rather taken aback by the idea of a drunken weaver awaiting him in his quiet study with whom he was expected to drink tea and on whose behalf Margaret was anxiously pleading. The meek, kind hearted Mr. Hale would have readily tried to console him in his grief, but unluckily the point Margaret dwelt upon most forcibly was the fact that of his having been drinking and her having brought him home with her as a last expedient to keep him from the gin shop. One little event had come out of another so naturally that Margaret was hardly conscious of what she had done until she saw the slight look of repugnance on their father's face. Oh papa, he really is a man you would not dislike if you won't be shocked to begin with, but Margaret to bring a drunken man home and your mother's so ill. Margaret's continence fell. I am sorry papa, he is very quiet, he is not tipsy at all. He is only rather strange at first, but that might be a shock of poor Bessie's death. Margaret's eyes filled with tears. Mr. Hale took hold of her sweet pleaning face in both his hands and kissed her forehead. It's alright dear, I'll go and make him as comfortable as I can. And do you attend to your mother? Only if you can come in and make a third in the study I shall be glad. Oh yes, thank you. But as Mr. Hale was leaving the room, she ran after him. Papa, you must not wonder at what he says, he's in... I mean he does not believe in much of what we do. Oh dear, a drunken infantile weaver, said Mr. Hale to himself in dismay, but to Margaret he only said, if your mother goes to sleep be sure you come directly. Margaret went into her mother's room. Mrs. Hale flipped herself out from a dose. When did you write to Frederick Margaret? Yesterday or the day before? Yesterday, mama. Yesterday. And the letter went? Yes, I took it myself. Oh Margaret, I'm so afraid of his coming. If he should be recognized, if he should be taken, if he should be executed after all these years that he has kept away and lived in safety. Like he's fallen asleep in a dream that he has caught and been tried. Oh mama, don't be afraid. There will be some rest no dapa. We will lessen it as much as ever we can. And it is so little. Now, if I were at Hellston, there would be 20, 100 times as much. There, everybody will remember him. And if there was a stranger known to be in the house, they would be sure to guess it was Frederick. While here, nobody knows or cares for us enough to notice what we do. Dixon will keep the door like a dragon won't you, Dixon, while he is here. They'll be clever if they come and pass me, said Dixon, showing her teeth at the bear idea. And he need not go out except in the dust poor fellow. Poor fellow, echoed Mrs. Hale. But I almost wish you had not written. Would it be too late to stop him if he wrote again, Margaret? I'm afraid it would, mama, said Margaret, remembering the urgency with which he had entreated him to come directly if he wished to see his mother alive. I always dislike that doing things in such a hurry, said Mrs. Hale. Margaret was silent. Come now, ma'am, said Dixon, with a kind of cheerful authority. You know, seeing Master Frederick is just the very thing of all others you're longing for. And I'm glad Mrs. Margaret run off strength without chili shallowing. I've had a great mind to do it myself, and will keep him snuck and depend upon it. There's only Martha in the house that would not do a good deal to save him on a pension. I've been thinking she might go and see her mother just at that very time. She's been saying once or twice she would like to go, or her mother has had a stroke since she came here, only she didn't like to ask. But I'll see about her being safe off as soon as we know when he comes. God bless him. So take your team, ma'am, and come for an entrust to me. Mrs. Hale did trust in Dixon more than in Margaret. Dixon's words quieted her for the time. Margaret poured out the tea in silence, trying to think of something agreeable to say. But her thoughts made answer something like Daniel or Rourke when the man in the moon asked him to get off his reaping hook. The more you access, the more we won't stir. The more she tried to think of something, anything besides the danger to which Frederick would be exposed, the more closely her imagination clung to the unfortunate idea presented to her. Her mother prattled with Dixon and seemed to have utterly forgotten the possibility of Frederick being trying to execute it. Everly forgotten that at her wish, if by Margaret's deed, he was summoned into his danger. Her mother was one of those who throw out terrible possibilities, miserable possibilities, unfortunate chances of all kinds, as a rocker throws out sparks. But if the sparks light on some combustible manner, that smolder first and burst down into a frightful flame at last. Margaret was glad when her feeling old duties gently and carefully performed, she could go down into the study. She wondered how her father and Higgins had got out. In the first place, the decorous, kind-hearted, simple, old-fashioned gentleman had unconsciously called out, but his own refinement and courteousness of manner, all the latent courtesy and the other. Mr. Hale treated all his fellow creatures alike and never entered into his head to make any difference because of their rank. He placed a chair for Nicholas, stood up till he at Mr. Hale's request, took a seat, and called him in invariably Mr. Higgins instead of the Kurt Nicholas or Higgins to which the drunken Infandel weaver had been accustomed. The Nicholas was neither an habitual drunkard nor a thorough Infandel. He drank to drown care as he would have himself expressed it, and he was Infandel so far as he had never yet found any form of faith to which he could attach himself, heart, and soul. Margaret was a little surprised and very much pleased when she found her father and Higgins in earnest conversation, each speaking with gentle politeness to the other. However, their opinions might clash. Nicholas, clean, tidy, with only at the pump trowel, and quite spoken, was a new creature to her who had only seen him in the rough independence of his own hearthstone. He had slipped his hair down with the fresh water. He had adjusted his neck handkerchief and borrowed an old candle end to polish his clogs with, and there he sat enforcing some opinion on her father with a strong, dark shirt accent. It is true, but with a lord voice and a good earnings composure on his face, her father too was interested in when his companion was saying. He looked around as she came in, smiled, and quietly gave her his chair, and then sat down as fresh as quickly as possible, and with a little boule of apology to his guests for the interruption. Higgins nodded to her as a sign of greeting, and she softly adjusted her working materials on the table and prepared to listen. As I was saying, sir, I reckon you had much belief in you if you lived here, if you have been bred here. Actually pardon if I use wrong words, but what I mean by belief just now is the thinking on sayings and maximals and promises made by folks you never saw about things in the life you never saw, nor one else. No, you say there are true things and true sayings and true life. I just say worst of proof. There's many and many on one wiser and scores better learned than I am around me. Folks who have had time to think on these things. While my time has had to be given up to get my bread, while I see these people, their lives is pretty much open to me. They're a real folk. They don't believe in the Bible, not they. They may say they do for form's sake, but Lord, sir, you think their first cry in the morning is what shall I do to get hold of internal life? What shall I do to fill my purse this blessed day? Where shall I go? What bargain shall I strike? The person to go in the nose is real things. Things can be felt and touched, them's realities. Eternal life is all the talk, very fit for. I ask your pardon, sir. You're a person out of work, I believe. Well, I never speak disrespectful of a man the same fixed as I am in myself, but I'll just ask you another question, sir, and I don't want you to answer it only to put in your pipe and smoke it before you go for the set down who only believes in what we see as fools and naughties. If salvation and life to come and whatnot was true, not in men's words, but in men's heart's core, don't you think that it is as they do with political economy? There's many anxious to come around us with that piece of wisdom, but there other would be a greater conversion if it were true. But the masters have nothing to do with your religion, all that are connected with you is your trait, so they think now that it's concerning them, therefore to rectify your opinion, and it's the silence of trait. I'm glad, sir, that Higgins with a curious wing and a sign of that, you put in so they think I had thought you a hypocrite, I'm afraid if you hadn't for all your parson or rather because you're a parson, you see if you've spoken of religion as a thing that if it was a true, it didn't concern all men depressed on all men's attentions above anything else on this vast soil earth, I should have thought you'd have for a parson, rather you're a fool than a naïve, no offense, I hope sir, not at all. You consider me mistaken, I consider you far more failing mistaken. I don't expect to convince you in a day, not in one conversation, but let us know each other and speak freely to each other about these things and the truth will prevail. I should not believe in God if I did not believe that. Mr. Higgins, I trust whatever else you have given up, you believe. Mr. Hill's voice dropped low in reverence. You believe in him. Nicholas Higgins suddenly stood straight, stiff up. Margaret started to refeed, for she thought by the working of his face he was going into convulsions. Mr. Hill looked at her dismayed. Alas, Higgins found words. Man, I could fell you to the ground for tempting me. What business have you to try with my doubts? Think of her lying there after the live host led and think how they denied me that one soul comfort left, that there is a God and that he said her, her life. I don't believe she'll ever live again, said he, sitting down in drewling going on as if to unsympathizing fire. I did not believe in any other life than this and was she drained to trouble and has such never-ending care and I cannot bear to think it worked, all a set of chances that might have been altered with the breath of wind. There was a many a time when I thought I didn't believe in God, but I never put it fair out before me and words of many men. Do I make laugh at those who did to brave it out like, but I have looked round at after to see if he hurt me, if so, be there was a he, but today when I'm love death and I want listen to your questions and your doubts, there's but one thing steady and quiet all these really war on a reason or no reason I cling to that. It's a very well for happy folk. Margaret Tuster's arm very softly. She had not spoken before nor has she heard her eyes. Nicholas, we do not want a reason. You understand my father and we do not reason. We believe and so do you. This is the one so comforting such times. He turned around and caught her hand. It is, it is, brushing away the tears in the back of his hand, but you know she's lying dead at home and I'm Willie Dades with sorrow and at times I hardly know what I'm saying it. It's as if speeches folks and made clever and smart things as I've thought at the time come up now in my heart's willy brosom. Those strikes fail as well. Let you know that means I were coming to ask her like a beggar as I am for a bit of comfort. I let trouble and I would knock down by one who'd tell me she were dead, just dead. That were all, but that were enough for me. Mr. Hale blew his nose and got up to snuff the candles in order to conceal his emotion. He's not an infidel, Margaret. How could you say so, mother? He reculsionally. I would good mind to read him the 14th chapter of Joke. Not yet, Papa. I think perhaps not at all. Let us ask him about the strike and give him all the sympathy he needs and to hope to have some poor blessing. So they questioned and listened. The workman's calculations were based, like too many of the masters on false premises. They reckoned on their fellow man as if they possessed the calculable powers and machines, no more, no less, no allowance for human passions getting the better reason, as in the case of Boucher and the rioters and believing that their representations of their injuries would have the same effect on strangers far away as the injuries answered a real head upon themselves. They were consequently surprised and indignant at the poor Irish would allow themselves to be important and brought over to take their places. This indignation was temperate in some degree about the contempt for them, Irishers, and by pleasure at the idea of the bungling way in which they was set to work and perplexed their new masters with their ignorance and stupidity, strange exaggerated stories of which were already spreading throughout the town. But the most cruel cut of all was that of the militant workmen who had defied and disobeyed the commands of the Union to keep the peace whatever came, who had originated discord in the camp and spread the panic of the law being arrayed against them. And so the strike is at an end, said Margaret. I am this. It's save as save can. The factory doors we need open wide tomorrow, let all who will be asking for work is only just to show them not to do with measure which have been made. The right stuff would have brought wages up to a point that have not been at this ten year. You get work, shouldn't you? Ask Margaret. Your famous workmen are not you. Campbell let me work at his mill when he cuts off his right hand, not before and not after. So he goes in quietly. Margaret was silenced and sad about the wages to Mr. Hill. You'll not be offended but I think you made some sad mistakes. I should like to read you some remarks in a book I have. She got up and went to his bookshelves. You needn't trouble yourself, sir. So Nicholas, their bookstuff goes in one ear and off the other. I can make not of it. After hamper me had this split the overlook had told me I was stirring up the men to ask for higher wages and hamper meant be one day in the yard. He had them booking his hand and says Higgins, I'm told you're one of those damn fools that think you can get higher wages for asking for them and keep them up too when you're forced them up and I'll give you a chance to try if you any sense in yet. Here's a book written by a friend mine and if you read it you'll see how wages find their own level without either master or men having off to do with them. Some of the men cut their own throats with striking like the confounded noodles they are. When I was sorry I put it you being a person haven't been in the preaching line and having to try and bring folk to what you thought was a right way of thinking. Did you begin by calling them fools and such like or did you rather give them some kind of words so far as to make them ready for you to listen and be convinced that they could. And as you're preaching did you stop every now and then and say half to them and half to yours. You're such a pack of fools and I have a strong notion that's no use of my trying to put sense into you. I work now as best state I'll own or taking in what hamper's friends had to say. I was so vexed of the way were put to me but I thought come I'll see what these chap has to say and try if it's them or me as it's the noodle. So I took the book and stucked at it. The Lord blessed you went on about capital and labor and labor and capital to the Pharisees sent me off to sleep. And I could rightly fix my mind which was which and I spoke in as if they were varchues or vicens and what I wanted for to know where the rights of men where they were rich or poor to be the only were meant. But for all of that so Mr. Hill and granted to the full the offensiveness the folly the unchristianess and Mr. Harper's ways of speaking to you and recommending his friend's book yet if it told you what he said it did that wages find their own love on that the most successful strike and only force them up for a moment to sink in far greater proportion afterwards and consequences of that very strike the book could have told you the truth. Well sir so Higgins rather doggedly it might or it might not. There's two opinions going to selling that point. But suppose it was truth double strong. There were no truth to me if I could have taken it in I dare say there's a truth to you land book on your shell but it's gibberish and not truth to me unless I know the meaning of the words. If you sir any of a knowledgeable patient may come to me and says who learned me with the words mean and not blow me up if I'm a bit stupid or forget one thing hangs on another why in time I may get to see the truth of it or I may not. I'll not be bound to say I shall end in thinking the same as any man. And I'm not one who think truth can be shaped on the words all neat and clean as thy mantle that foundry cut out sheet iron. Same bones won't go down with every one. I'll stick here as I this man's thrown their eyes others. Let alone that one down and maybe choose strong for his one two week for that. Folk who sets up the doctors in the world their truth months to differ for different minds and a bit tender in the way of giving it to or the poor stick fools may spit it out in either faces. Now Hanper first gets me a box on my ear and then he throws his big bowlet at me and says he reckons it'll do me no good such a fool but there it is. I wish some of the kindness and wisest of the masters would meet some of the men and have a good talk on these things. It will surely be the best way of getting over the difficulties which I do believe arise from your ignorance excuse me Mr. McGiggins on subjects which it is for the mutual interest of both masters and men should be well understood by both I wonder. Half to his dart and Mr. Thornton might not be induced to do such a thing. Remember Papa she said in a very low voice what he said one day about government you know she was unwilling to make any clear allusion to the conversation they had had on the mode of governing work people by giving men intelligence enough to rule themselves or by a wide despotism on the part of the master for she saw that Higgins had caught Mr. Thornton's name if not the whole of the speech indeed he began to speak of him. Thornton he said chappas wrote off at once for these irishers and led the riot that ruined the strike even hampered all his bullying would have hated a while but it's a word and a blow we've Thornton and now when the year would be thanked for him following up the chase of the voucher and then chaps as went right again our commands Thornton who steps forward and Cooley says that as a strike and an in he as partly injured doesn't want to press charges against the rioters I thought he had more pluck I thought he had carried his point and his revenge in an open way but says he won a court tell me his very words they are well known they will find the natural punishment of their conduct and the difficulty they will meet when getting employment that will be severe enough I only wish they couch voucher and had him up before hamper I see a tiger sitting on him if he had let him off not he Mr. Thornton was right Sir Margaret you are angry against voucher Nicholas or else you would be the first to see that where the natural punishment will be severe enough for the offense any further punishment will be something like revenge my daughter is no great friend of Mr. Thornton Sir Mr. Hill smiling at Margaret while she as right as any carnation began to work with double diligence but I believe what she says is the truth I like him for it well sir this strike has been a weary piece of business to me and you'll not wonder if I'm a bit put out with seeing it fail just for a few men who would enough suffering in silence and had brave and firm you forget Sir Margaret I don't know much about her but the only time I saw him it was not his own suffering he spoke of but those in his sick wife his little children troop but he was not made of iron himself he'd have cried out for his own sorrows next he were not one to bear how come he came to the union as Margaret innocently you don't seem to have much respect for him nor gain much good from having him in he gets brawl clouded he was silent for a minute or two then he said shortly enough not for me to speak of the union when they does they does then that is of a trade man hung together and if they're not willing to take their chances along with the rest the union has ways and means Mr. Hill saw that Higgins was vexed at the turn of the conversation taken it was silent not so Margaret thought she saw Higgins feeling as clearly as he did by instinct she felt that if he could but be brought to express himself in plain words something clear will be gained on which to argue for the right and the just and one of the union's ways and means he looked up at her as if on the point of dock resistance to her wish for information but her calm face fixed on his patient and trustful compelled him to answer well if a man doesn't belong to the union then this work next looms has orders not to speak to him if he's sorry or ill it's the same he's out of bounds he's none of us he comes among us he works among us but he's none of us on some places there's fines who speaks to him you try that miss try living a year or two among them as looks away if you look at them try work within two yards or crowds of men who you know have a grinding grudge on you and the hearts to whom you say you're glad and an eye brightens nor a lip moves to whom if your heart's heavy you're never saved not because they never take notice of your size or set looks and a man's no man who's grown out loud while folk ask them what's the matter just try that miss ten hours for three hundred days and you'll know what bit of what the union is why? said market what tyranny is this is Nate Higgins I don't care one straw for your anger I know you can't be angry with me if you would and I must tell you the truth that I never read in all the history I have a more slow lingering torture than this and you belong to the union and you talk of the tyranny of the masters Nate said Higgins you may say what you like the dead stand between you and every angry word of mine just to think I forgot who's lying there and how who loved you and it's the masters as it's made for sin but the union's it's a sin not this generation maybe but their fathers their fathers grown our fathers to the very dust ground us to powder parson I reckon I've heard my mother read out a text the fathers had eaten saw grapes and the children's teeth are set on edge so with them those days of sore oppression the union's began it was a necessity it's a necessity now according to me as a withstanding of justice past present are to come maybe like war along with it comes crimes but I think we're a greater crime to let it alone our only chance is binding men together in one common entrance and if some are cowards and some are fools they mum come along and join the great march whose only strength is in numbers oh so Mr. Hill's saying your union in itself will be beautiful glorious it will be christianity itself if it were but for an end with effected the good of all instead of that a merely one class as opposed to another I reckon it's time for me to be going sir Sir Higgins at the clock struck 10 home so Margaret very softly he understood her and took her off her hand homeless you may trust me I am of the union I do trust you most barely Higgins stay so Mr. Hill her age in the bookshelves Mr. Higgins I'm sure you'll join us in family prayer Higgins looked at Margaret doffily her grave sweet eyes met his there was no compassion only deep interest in them he did not speak but he kept his pace Margaret the church woman her father does center Higgins the infidel note down together they did them no harm end of chapter 28 comfort and sorrow chapter 29 north and south this is a liver fox recording all liver fox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit liverfox.org recording by rose also known as robas Amsterdam the Netherlands north and south by Elizabeth Gascoe chapter 29 array of sunshine some wishes crossed my mind and dimly cheered it and one or two poor melancholy pleasures each in the pale unwarming light of hope silvery its flimsy wing flew silent by moss in the moonbeam collage the next morning brought Margaret's letter from Edith it was affectionate and inconsequent like the writer but the affection was charming to Margaret's own affectionate nature and she had grown up with the inconsequence so she did not perceive it it was as follows oh Margaret it is worth a journey from England to see my boy he is a superb little fellow especially in his caps and most especially in one you sent him you good dainty fingered persevering little lady having made all the mothers here envious i want to show him to somebody new and hear a fresh set of admiring expressions perhaps that's all the reason perhaps it is not nay possibly there's just a little currently love mixed with it but i do want you so much to come here Margaret i'm sure it would be the very best thing for Aunt Hale's health everybody here is young and well and our skies are always blue and our sun always shines and the band plays deliciously from morning to night and to come back to the burden of my ditty my baby always smiles i'm constantly wanting you to draw him for me Margaret it does not signify what he's doing that very thing is prettiest graceful as best i think i love him a great deal better than my husband who is getting stout and grumpy what he calls busy no he is not he has just come in with news of such a charming picnic given by the offices of the hazard at anchor in the baby low because he has brought in such a pleasant piece of news i reject all that i said just now did not somebody burn his hand for having said has done something he was sorry for well i can't burn mine because it would hurt me and the scar would be ugly but i'll reject all i said as fast as i can cosmo is quite as great a darling as baby and not a bit stout and as ungrumpy as ever her husband was only sometimes he is very very busy i may say that without leaves wifely judy where was i i had something very particular to say i know once oh it is this dearest margaret you must come and see me it would do until good as i said before get the doctor to order it for her tell him that it's the smoke of Milton does thus harm i have no doubt that it is that really three months you must not come for less of this delicious climate all sunshine and grapes and common as blackberries would quite cure her i don't ask my uncle here the letter became more constrained and better written mr. hail was in the corner like a naughty child for having given up his living because i dare say he disapproves of war and soldiers and bands of music at least i know that many dissenters are members of the peace society and i'm afraid he would not like to come but if he would dear pray say that cosmo and i will do our best to make him happy and i'll hide up cosmo's red coat and sword and make the band play all sorts of grave solemn things or if they do play pump and vanities it shall be in double slow time dear margaret if you would like to accompany you and aunt hail we will try and make it pleasant though i'm rather afraid of anyone who has done something for conscience's sake you never did i hope tell aunt hail not to bring many warm clothes though i'm afraid it will be late in the year before you can come but you have no idea of the heat here i tried to wear my great beauty indian shawl at the picnic i kept myself up with proverbs as long as i could pride must abide and such wholesome pieces of pith but it was of no use i was like mama's little dog tiny with an elephant trapping on smothered hidden killed with my finery so i made it into a capital carpet for us all to sit upon here's this boy of mine margaret if you don't pack up your things as soon as you get this letter and come straight to see him i shall think you're descended from king herod margaret did long for a day of eated life her freedom from care her cheerful home her sunny skies if he wish could have transported her she would have gone off just for one day she yearned for the strength which such a change would give even for a few hours to be in the midst of that bright life and to feel young again not yet 20 and she had had to bear up against such hard pressure that she felt quite old that was her first feeling after reading e this letter then she read it again and forgetting herself was amused at its likeness to e this self and was laughing merrily over it when mrs. hail came into the drawing room leaning on dixon's arm margaret flew to adjust the pillows her mother seemed more than usually feeble to a laughing at margaret asked she as soon as she had recovered from the exertion of settling herself on the sofa a letter i have had this morning from edith shall i read it to you mama she read it aloud and for a time it seemed to interest her mother who kept wondering what name edith had given to her boy and suggesting all probable names and all possible reasons why each and all of these names should be given into the very midst of these wonders pester thornton came bringing another offering of fruit from mrs. hail he could not say rather he would not deny himself the chance of the pleasure of seeing margaret he had no end in this but the present gratification it was the sturdy wealthiness of a man usually most reasonable and self-controlled he entered the room taking in as a glance the fact of margaret's presence after the first cold distant bow he never seemed to let his eye fall on her again the only state to present his peaches to speak some gentle kind words and then his cold offended ice-mid margaret's with a grave farewell as he left the room she sat down silent and pale do you know margaret i really begin quite to like mr. thornton no answer at first then margaret forced out an icy do you? yes i think he's really getting quite polished in his manners margaret's voice was more in order now she replied he is very kind and attentive there's no doubt of that i wonder mrs. thornton never calls she must know i'm ill because of the waterbed i dare say she hears how you are from her son still i should like to see her you have so few friends here margaret margaret felt what was in her mother's thoughts a tender craving to bespeak the kindness of some woman towards the daughter that might be so soon left motherless but she could not speak do you think? says mrs. hale after a pause that she could go and ask mrs. thornton to come and see me only once i don't want to be troublesome i will do anything if you wish it mamal but if but when fritter comes ah to be sure we must keep our doors shut we must let no one in i hardly know whether i dare wish him to come or not sometimes i think i would rather not sometimes i have such frightful dreams about him oh mamal we'll take good care i will put my arm in the bolt sooner than he should come to the slightest harm trust the care of him to me mamal i will watch over him like a lioness over her young and can we hear from him not for a week yet certainly perhaps more we must send martha away in good time it would never do to have her here when he comes and then send her off in a hurry dixon is sure to remind us of that i was thinking that if he wanted any help in the house while he is here we could perhaps get mary higgins she is very slack of work and is a good girl and would take pains to do her best i'm sure and would sleep at home and need never come upstairs so as to know who is in the house as you please as dixon pleases but margaret don't get used to these horrid Milton words slack of work it is a provincialism what will your aunt show say if she hears you use it on her return oh mama don't try and make a bugbear out of aunt show said margaret laughing edith picked up all sorts of military slang from captain lennox and aunt show never took any notice of it but yours is factory slang and if i live in a factory town i must speak factory language when i want it why mama i could astonish you with a great many words you never heard in your life i don't believe you know what a nopstick is not eye child i only know it has a very vulgar sound and i don't want to hear you using it very well dearest mother i won't only i shall have to use a whole explanatory sentence instead i don't like this Milton said mrs hail edith is right enough in saying it's the smoke that has made me so ill margaret started up as her mother said this her father had just entered the room and she was most anxious that the faint impression she had seen on his mind that the milton air had injured her mother's health should not be deepened should not receive any confirmation she could not tell whether he had heard what mrs hail had said or not but she began speaking hurriedly of other things unaware that mr thorton was following him mama is accusing me of having picked up a great deal of vulgarity since we came to milton the vulgarity margaret spoke of referred purely to the use of local words and the expression arose out of the conversation they had just been holding but mr thorton's brow darkened and margaret suddenly felt how her speech might be misunderstood by him so in the natural sweet desire to avoid giving unnecessary pain she forced herself to go forward with a little greeting and continue what she was saying addressing herself to him expressly now mr thorton though nob stick has not a very pretty sound is it not expressive could i do without it in speaking of the thing it represents if using local words is vulgar i was very vulgar in the forest was i not normal it was unusual with margaret to obtrude her own subject of conversation on others but in this case she was so anxious to prevent mr thorton from feeling annoyance at the words he had accidentally overheard that it was not until she had done speaking that she colored all over with consciousness more especially as mr thorton seemed hardly to understand the exact gist or bearing of what she was saying but passed her by with a cold reserve of ceremonious movement to speak to mrs hail the sight of him reminded her of the wish to see his mother and commend margaret to her care margaret sitting in burning silence vexed and ashamed of her difficulty in keeping her right place and her calm unconsciousness of heart when mr thorton was by heard her mother's slow and treaty that mrs thorton would come and see her see her soon tomorrow if it were possible mr thorton promised that she should converse a little and then took his leave and margaret's movement and voice seemed at once released from some invisible chains he never looked at her and yet the careful avoidance of his eyes betoken that in some way he knew exactly where if they fell by chance they would rest on her if she spoke he gave no sign of attention and yet his next speech to anyone else was modified by what she had said sometimes there was an express answer to what she had remarked but given to another person as though unsuggested by her it was not the bad manners of ignorance it was the willful bad manners arising from deeper fence it was willful at the time repented off afterwards but no deep plan no careful cunning could have stood him in such good stead margaret thought about him more than she had ever done before not with any tinge of what is called love but with regret that she had wounded him so deeply and with a gentle patience striving to return to the former position of antagonistic friendship or a friend's position was what she found that he had held in her regard as well as in that of the rest of the family there was a pretty humility in her behavior to him as if mutely apologizing for the over strong words which were the reaction from the deeds of the day of the riot but he resented those words bitterly they rung in his ears and he was proud of the sense of justice which made him go on in every kindness he could offer to her parents he exalted in the power he showed in compelling himself to face her whenever he could think of any action which might give her father or mother pleasure he thought that he disliked seeing one who had mortified him so keenly but he was mistaken it was a stinging pleasure to be in the room with her and feel her presence but he was no great analyser of his own motives and was mistaken as I have said North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell Chapter 30 Home at Last The saddest birds of season find to sing southward Never to fold the robe of secret pain again Never, weighed down by memories clouds again To bow thy head, thou art gone home Mrs. Hemons Mrs. Thornton came to see Mrs. Hale the next morning She was much worse One of those sudden changes those great visible strides towards death had been taken in the night and her own family was startled by the grey sunken look her features had assumed in that one-twelve hours of suffering Mrs. Thornton, who had not seen her for weeks, was softened all at once She had come because her son asked it from her as a personal favour but with all the proud bitter feelings of her nature in arms against that family of which Margaret formed one She doubted the reality of Mrs. Hale's illness She doubted any want beyond a momentary fancy on that lady's part which should take her out of her previously settled course of employment for the day She told her son that she wished they had never come near the place they had never got acquainted with them that there had been no such useless languages as Latin or Greek ever invented He bore all this pretty silently but when she had ended her invective against the dead languages he quietly returned to the short, curved, decided expression of his wish that she should go and see Mrs. Hale at the time appointed as most likely to be convenient to the invalid Mrs. Thornton submitted with as bad a grace as she could to her son's desire all the time liking him the better for having it and exaggerating in her own mind the same notion that he had of extraordinary goodness on his part and so perseveringly keeping up with the hails His goodness verging on weakness, as all the softer verges did in her mind and her own contempt for mystery, Mrs. Hale positive dislike to Margaret where the ideas were occupied Mrs. Thornton till she was struck into nothingness before the dark shadow of the wings of the angel of death There lay Mrs. Hale, a mother like herself, a much younger woman than she was, on the bed from which there was no sign of hope that she might ever rise again No more variety of light and shade for her in that darkened room no power of action, scarcely change of movement veined alternations of whispered sound and studio silence and yet that monotonous life seemed almost too much When Mrs. Thornton, strong and prosperous with life, came in Mrs. Hale lay still, although from the look on her face she was evidently conscious of who it was but she did not even open her eyes for a minute or two The heavy moisture of tears stood on the eyelashes before she looked up then with her hand groping feebly over the bed clothes for the touch of Mrs. Thornton's large firm fingers she said scarcely above her breath Mrs. Thornton had to stoop from her retinas to listen Margaret, you have a daughter my sister is in Italy my child will be without mother in a strange place if I die with you and her filmy wandering eyes fixed themselves with an intensity of wistfulness on Mrs. Thornton's face for a minute there was no change in its rigidness it was stern and unmoved nay but that the eyes of the sick woman were growing dim with the slow gathering tears she might have seen a dark cloud cross the cold features and it was no thought of her son or of her living daughter Fanny that stirred her heart at last but a sudden remembrance suggested by something in the arrangement of the room of a little daughter dead in imitancy long years ago that like a sudden sunbeam melted the icy crust behind which there was a real tender woman you wish me to be a friend to Miss Hale said Mrs. Thornton in her measured voice that would not soften with her heart but came out distinct and clear Mrs. Hale her eyes still fixed on Mrs. Thornton's face pressed the hand to lay below hers on the coverlet she could not speak Mrs. Thornton sighed I will be a true friend if circumstances require it not a tender friend that I cannot be to her she was on the point of adding but she relented at the sight of the poor anxious face it's not my nature to show affection even where I feel it nor do I volunteer advice in general still at your request if it will be any comfort to you I'll promise you then came a pause Mrs. Thornton was too conscientious to promise what she did not mean to perform and to perform anything in the way of kindness on behalf of Margaret more disliked at this moment than ever was difficult almost impossible I promise that she with grave severity which after all inspired the dying woman with faith as in something more stable than life itself flicking flitting wavering life I promise that in any difficulty in which Miss Hale call her Margaret cast Mrs. Hale and when she comes to me for help I will help her with every power I have as if she were my own daughter I also promise that if I see her doing what I think is wrong my Margaret never does wrong not a wealthy wrong pleaded Mrs. Hale Mrs. Thornton went on as before as if she had not heard if ever I see her doing what I believe to be wrong such wrong not touching me online in which case I might as opposed to have an interested motive I will tell her of it thankfully and plainly as I should wish my own daughter to be told it was a long pause Mrs. Hale felt that this promise did not include all and yet it was much it had reservations in it which she did not understand but that she was weak dizzy and tired Mrs. Thornton was reviewing all the probable cases in which she had pledged herself to act she had a fierce pleasure in the idea of telling Margaret unwelcome truths in the shape of performance of duty Mrs. Hale began to speak I thank you I pray God to bless you I shall never see you again in this world but my last words are I thank you for your promise of kindness to my child not kindness testified Mrs. Thornton and graciously truthful to the last but having eased her conscience by saying these words she was not sorry that they were not heard she pressed Mrs. Hale's soft-language hand and rose up and went her way out of the house without seeing the creature during the time that Mrs. Thornton was having this interview with Mrs. Hale Margaret and Dixon were laying their heads together and consulting how they should keep Frederick's coming a profound secret to all out of the house a letter from him might now be expected any day and he would assuredly follow quickly on its heels Martha must be sent away on her holiday Dixon must keep stern guard on the front door only admitting the few visitors that ever came to the house into Mr. Hale's rooms downstairs Mrs. Hale's extreme illness giving her a good excuse for this If Mary Higgins was required as a help to Dixon in the kitchen she was to hear and see as little of Frederick as possible and he was, if necessary, to be spoken off to her under the name of Mr. Dickinson but her sluggish and incurious nature was the greatest safeguard of all They resolved that Martha should leave them that very afternoon for this visit to her mother Margaret wished that she had been sent away on the previous day as she fancied it might be thought strange to give a servant a holiday when her mistress's state required so much attendance Poor Margaret, all that afternoon she had to act the part of a Roman daughter and give strength out of her own scanty stock to her father Mr. Hale would hope, would not despair, between the attacks of his wife's malady he buoyed himself up in every respite from her pain and believed that it was the beginning of ultimate recovery and so, when the proxoms came on, each more severe than the last there were fresh agonies and greater disappointments to him this afternoon he sat in the drawing room unable to bear the solitude of his study or to employ himself in any way he buried his head in his arms which lay folded on the table Margaret's heart ached to see him yet as he did not speak she did not like to volunteer any attempt at comfort Martha was gone Dickinson sat with Mrs. Hale while she slept the house was very still and quiet and darkness came on without any movement to procure candles Margaret sat at the window looking out at the lamps in the street but seeing nothing only alive to her father's heavy size she did not like to go down for lights lest the tacit restraint of her presence being withdrawn he might give way to more violent emotion without her being at hand to comfort him he was just thinking that she ought to go and see after the well-doing of the kitchen fire which there was nobody but herself to attend to when she heard the muffled door ring with so violent a pull that the wires jingled all through the house though the positive sound was not great she started up past her father who had never moved at the failed dull sound returned and kissed him tenderly and still he never moved nor took any notice of her fond embrace then she went down softly through the dark to the door Dickinson would have put the chain on before she opened it but Margaret had not a thought of fear in her preoccupied mind man's tall figure stood between her and the luminous street he was looking away but at the sound of the latch he turned quickly round is this Mr. Hall said he in a clear full delicate voice Margaret trembled all over at first she did not answer in a moment she sighed out Frederick and stretched out both her hands to catch his and draw him in oh Margaret said he holding her off by her shoulders after they had kissed each other as if even in that darkness he could see her face and read in its expression a quicker answer to his questions than words could give my mother is she alive yes she's alive dear dear brother she as ill as she can be she is but alive she's alive thank god said he the pie is utterly prostrated with this great grief you expect me don't you no we've had no letter then i've come before it but my mother knows i'm coming oh you all knew you would come wait a little step in here give me your hand what is this oh your carpet bag dixon has shut the shutters but this is the past study and i can take you to a chair to rest yourself for a few minutes while i go and tell him she groped away to the taper and the Lucifer matches she suddenly felt shy when the little feeble light made them visible all she could see was that her brother's face was unusually dark in complexion and she caught the stealthy look of a pair of remarkably long cut blue eyes that suddenly twinkled up with a droll consciousness of their mutual purpose of inspecting each other but though the brother and sister had an instant sympathy in their reciprocal grances they did not exchange a word only Margaret felt sure that she should like her brother as a companion as much as she already loved him as a new relation her heart was wonderfully lighter as she went upstairs the sorrow was no less in reality but it became less oppressive from having someone in precisely the same relation to it as that in which she stood not her father's desponding attitude had power to damp her down he lay across the table helpless as ever but she had the spell by which to rouse him she used it perhaps too violently in her own great relief Papa said she throwing her arms fondly around his neck pulling his weary head up in fact with her gentle violence till rested in her arms and she could look into his eyes and let them gain strength and assurance from hers Papa guess who is here he looked at her she saw the idea of the truth glimmering to their filmy sadness and be dismissed thence as a wild imagination he threw himself forward and hit his face once more and he stretched out arms resting upon the table as he had to fall she heard him whisper she bent tenderly down to listen I don't know don't tell me it's Frederick not Frederick I cannot bear it I am too weak and his mother is dying he began to cry and wail like a child it was so different all which Margaret had hoped and expected that she turned sick with disappointment and was silent for an instant then she spoke again very differently not so exultingly far more tenderly and carefully Papa it is Frederick think of Mama how glad she will be and all for her sake how glad we ought to be for his sake too a poor poor boy her father did not change his attitude but it seemed to be trying to understand the fact where is he asked he at last his face still hidden in his prostate arms in your study quite alone I lighted the taper and ran up to tell you he's quite alone we'll be wondering why I will go to him broke in her father and he lifted himself up and lent on her arm as on that of a guide Margaret led him to the study door but her spirits were so agitated that she felt she could not bear to see the meeting she turned away and ran upstairs and cried most heartily it was the first time she dared to allow herself this relief for days the strain had been terrible she now felt but Frederick was come he the one precious brother was there safe amongst them again she could hardly believe it she stopped crying and opened her bedroom door she heard no sound of voices and almost feared she might have dreamed she went downstairs and listened at the study door she heard the buzz of voices and that was enough she went into the kitchen and stirred up the fire and lighted the house and prepared for the wanderers refreshment how fortunate was that her mother slept she knew that she did from the candlelight of thrust through the keyhole of her bedroom door the traveller could be refreshed and bright and the first excitement on the meeting with his father all be over before her mother became aware of anything unusual when all was ready Margaret opened the study door and went in like a serving maiden with a heavy tray held in her extended arms she was proud of serving Frederick but he when he saw her sprang up in a minute and relieved her of a burden it was a type a sign of all the coming relief which his presence would bring the brother and sister arranged the table together saying little but the hands touching and the eyes speaking the natural language of expression so intelligible to those of the same blood the fire had gone out and Margaret applied herself to light it for the evenings had begun to be chilly and it was desirable to make all noises as distant as possible from Mrs. Hale's room Dixon says it is a gift to light a fire not an art to be acquired and Margaret was glad to hear a quotation once more however languidly given dear old Dixon how we shall kiss each other said Frederick she used to kiss me and then look in my face to be sure I was the right person and then set to again but Margaret what a bungler you are I never saw such a little awkward good for nothing pair of hands run away and wash them ready to cut bread and butter for me and leave the fire I'll manage it lighting fires is one of my natural accomplishments so Margaret went away and returned and passed in and out of the room in a glad restlessness that could not be satisfied with sitting still the more once Frederick had the better she was pleased and he understood all this by instinct it was a joy snatched in the house of morning and the zest of it was all the more pungent because they knew in the depths of their hearts what irremediable sorrow awaited them in the middle they heard Dixon's foot on the stairs Mr. Hale started from his languid posture in his great armchair from which he'd been watching his children in a dreamy way as if they were acting some drama of happiness which was pretty to look at but which was distinct from reality and in which he had no part he stood up and faced the door showing such a strange sudden anxiety to conceal Frederick from the sight of any person entering even though it were the faithful Dixon that a shiver came over Margaret's heart it reminded her of the new fear in their lives she caught at Frederick's arm and clutched it tight while a stern thought compressed her brows and caused her to set her teeth and yet they knew it was only Dixon's measured tread they heard her walk the length of the passage into the kitchen Margaret rose up I will go to her and tell her and I shall hear how Mamari is Mrs. Hale was awake she rambled at first but after they had given her some tea she was refreshed they're not disposed to talk it was better that the night should pass over before she was told of her son's arrival Dr. Donaldson's appointed visit would bring nervous excitement enough for the evening and he might tell them how to prepare her for seeing Frederick he was there in the house and could be summoned at any moment Margaret could not sit still it was a relief to her to aid Dixon in all her preparations for Master Frederick it seems as though she could never be tired again each glimpse into the room where he sat by his father conversing with him about she knew not what nor cared to know was increased the strength to her her own time for talking and hearing would come at last and she was too certain of this to feel in a hurry to grasp it now she took in his appearance and liked it he had delicate features redeemed from an effeminacy by this warliness of his complexion and his quick intensity of expression his eyes were generally merry looking but at their times they and his mouth so suddenly changed and gave her such an idea of latent passion that it almost made her afraid but this look was only for an instant and had it no doggedness no vindictiveness it was rather the instantaneous ferocity of expression that comes over the countenances of all natives of wild or southern countries a ferocity which enhances the charm of the childlike softness into which such a look may melt away Margaret might fear the violence of the impulsive nature thus occasionally betrayed but there was nothing in it to make a distrust or recall in the least from the newfound brother on the contrary all their intercourse was peculiarly charming to her from the very first she knew then how much responsibility she had had to bear from the exquisite sensation of relief which she felt in Frederick's presence he understood his father and mother their characters and their weaknesses went along with the careless freedom which was yet most delicately careful not to hurt or wound any of their feelings he seemed to know instinctively when a little of the natural brilliancy of his manner and conversation with not gyre on the deep depression of his father or might relieve his mother's pain whenever it would have been out of tune and out of time his patient devotion and watchfulness came into play and made him an admirable nurse then Margaret was almost touched into tears by the illusions which he often made to their childish stays in the new forest he had never forgotten her or Hellstone either all the time he'd been roaming among distant countries and foreign people she might talk to him of the old spot and never fear tiring him she'd been afraid of him before he came even while she had longed for his coming seven or eight years had she felt produced such great changes in herself that forgetting how much of the original Margaret was left she had reason that if her tastes and feelings had so materially altered even in her stay at home life his wild career with which she was but imperfectly acquainted might have almost substituted another Frederick for the tall stripling in his middies uniform whom she remembered looking up to is such admiring awe but in their absence they had grown nearer to each other in age as well as in many other things and so it was that the wait this sorrowful time was lightened to Margaret other light than that of Frederick's presence she had none for a few hours the mother rallied on seeing her son she sat with his hand in hers she would not part with it even while she slept and Margaret had to feed him like a baby rather than that he should disturb her mother by removing a finger mrs. hell wakened while they were thus engaged she slowly moved her head round on the pillow and smiled at her children as she understood what they were doing and why it was done I am very selfish said she but it would not be for long Frederick bent down and kissed the feeble hand that imprisoned his this state of tranquility could not endure for many days nor perhaps for many hours so Dr. Donaldson assured Margaret after the kind doctor had gone away she stole down to Frederick who during the visit had been a juror to remain quietly concealed in the back parlor usually Dickson's bedroom but now given up to him Margaret told him what Dr. Donaldson had said I don't believe it he exclaimed she's very ill she may be dangerously ill and immediate danger too but I can't imagine that she could be as she is if she were on the point of death Margaret she should have some other advice some London doctor have you never thought of that yes said Margaret more than once but I don't believe it would do any good and you know we have not the money to bring any great London surgeon down and I'm sure Dr. Donaldson is the only second in skill to the very best if he is indeed he is to them Frederick began to walk up and down the room impatiently I have credit in cadiz said he but none here owing to this Richard change of name why did my father leave healthson that was the blunder there was no blunder said Margaret gloomly and above all possible chances avoid letting papa hear anything like what you have just been saying I can see that he's tormenting himself already with the idea that mama would never have been ill if we'd stayed at healthstone and you don't know about agonizing power of self-repoach Frederick walked away as if he were on the quarter-deck last he stopped right opposite to Margaret and looked at her drooping and desponding attitude for an instant my little Margaret said he cursing her let us hope as long as we can poor little woman what is this face all wet with tears I will hope I will in spite of a thousand doctors bear up Margaret and be brave enough to hope Margaret choked in trying to speak and when she did it was very low I must try to be make enough to trust oh Frederick mama was getting to love me so and I was getting to understand and now comes debt to snapper asunder come come come let us go upstairs and do something rather than waste time that may be so precious thinking has many a time made me sad darling but doing never did in all my life my theory is a sort of parody on the maxim of get money my son honestly if you can but get money my precept is do something my sister do good if you can but at any rate do something not excluding mischief said Margaret smiling faintly through her tears by no means what I do exclude is the remorse afterwards blot your misdeeds out if you are particularly conscientious buy a good deed as soon as you can just as we did a correct summit school on the slate where an incorrect one was only half rubbed out was better than wetting a sponge with our tears both less loss of time where tears had to be waited for and a better effect at last if Margaret thought Frederick's theory rather a rough one at first she saw how he worked it out into continued production of kindness in fact after a bad night with his mother for he insisted on taking his turn as a sitter up he was busy next morning before breakfast contriving a leg rest for Dixon who was beginning to feel the fatigues of watching at breakfast time he interested Mr. Howell with vivid graphic rattling accounts of the wildlife he had led in Mexico South America and elsewhere Margaret would have given up the effort in despair to rouse Mr. Howell out of his dejection it would even have affected herself and rendered her incapable of talking at all but Fred true to his theory did something perpetually and talking was the only thing to be done besides eating at breakfast before the night of that day Dr. Donaldson's opinion was proved to be too well founded convulsions came on and when they seized Mrs. Howell was unconscious her husband might lie by her shaking the bed with his sobs her son's strong arms might lift her tanderly up into a comfortable position her daughter's hands might bathe the face but she knew them not she would never recognize them again till they met in heaven before the morning came all was over then Margaret rose from a trembling and despondency became as a strong angel of comfort to her father and brother for Frederick had broken down now and all his theories were of no use to him he cried so violently when shut up alone in this little room at night that Margaret and Dixon came down in a fright to warn him to be quiet for the house petitions were but thin and the next door neighbors might easily hear his youthful passionate sobs different from the slower trembling agony of afterlife when we become enured to grief and dare not be rebellious against the inexorable doom knowing who it is that decrees Margaret sat with her father in the room with her dead if he had cried she would have been thankful but he sat by the bed quite quietly only from time to time he uncovered the face and stroked it gently making kind of soft inarticulate noise like that of some mother animal caressing her young he took no notice of Margaret's presence once or twice she came up to kiss him and he submitted to it giving her a little push away when she had done as if her affection disturbed him from his absorption in the dead he started when he heard Frederick's cries and shook his head poor boy poor boy he said and took no more notice Margaret's heart ached within her she could not think of her own loss in thinking of her father's case the night was wearing away and the day was at hand when without a word of preparation Margaret's voice broke upon the stillness of the room with a clearness of sound that startled even herself let not your heart be troubled said and she went steadily on through all that chapter of unspeakable consolation end of chapter 30 chapter 31 north and south this is the LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org north and south by Elizabeth Gaskell chapter 31 should all the acquaintance be forgot show not that manner and these features all the serpents cunning and the sinners fall George Crabb the chill shivery October morning came not the October morning of the country with soft silvery mists clearing off before the sunbeams that bring out all the gorgeous beauty of coloring but the October morning of Milton whose silvery mists were heavy fogs and where the sun could only show long dusky streets when he did break through and shine Margaret went languidly about assisting Dixon in her task of arranging the house her eyes were continually blinded with tears but she had no time to give way to regular crying the father and brother depended upon her while they were giving way to grief she must be working planning considering even the necessary arrangements for the funeral seemed to devolve upon her when the fire was bright and crackling when everything was ready for breakfast and the tea kettle was singing away Margaret gave a last look around the room before going to summon Mr. Hal and Frederick she wanted everything to look as cheerful as possible and yet when it did so the contrast between it and her own thoughts forced her into sudden weeping she was kneeling by the sofa hiding her face in the cushions that no one might hear her cry when she was touched on the shoulder by Dixon come miss Hal come my dear you must not give way or where shall we all be there is not another person in the house fit to give a direction of any kind and there is so much to be done there's who's to manage the funeral who's to come to it and where's it to be and all to be settled and master Frederick's like one craze we're crying a master was never a good one for settling and poor gentleman he goes about now as if he was lost it's bad enough my dear I know but death comes to us all and you're well off never to have lost a friend till now perhaps so but this seemed a loss by itself not to bear comparison with any other event in the world Margaret did not take any comfort from what Dixon said but the unusual tenderness of the primal servants manner touched her to her heart and more from a desire to show her gratitude for this than for any other reason she browsed herself up and smiled in answer to Dixon's anxious look at her and went to tell her father and brother the breakfast was ready Mr. Howe came as if in a dream or rather with the unconscious motion of a sleepwalker whose eyes and mind perceive other things than what are present Frederick came briskly in with a forced cheerfulness grasped her hand looked into her eyes and burst into tears she had to try and think of little nothings to say or breakfast time in order to prevent the recurrence of her companion's thoughts too strongly to the last meal they had taken together when there had been a continual strained listening for some sound or signal from the sick room after breakfast she resolved to speak to her father about the funeral he shook his head and assented to all she proposed though many of her propositions absolutely contradicted one another Margaret gained no real decision from him and was leaving the room languidly to have a consultation with Dixon when Mr. Howe motioned her back to his side asked Mr. Bell said he in a hollow voice Mr. Bell said she a little surprised Mr. Bell of Oxford Mr. Bell he repeated yes he was my groomsman Margaret understood the association I will write today said she he sank again into listlessness all morning she told on longing for rest but in a continued whirl of melancholy business towards evening Dixon said to her I've done it miss I was really afraid for master that he'd have a stroke with grief he's been all this day with poor missus and when I've listened at the door I've heard him talking to her and talking to her as if she was alive when I went in he would be quite quiet but all in a maze like so I thought to myself he ought to be roused and if it gives him a shock at first it will maybe be the better afterwards so I've been enough told him that I don't think it's safe for master Frederick to be here and I don't it was only on Tuesday when I was out I met a Southampton man the first I've seen since I came to Milton they don't make their way up here much I think well it was young Leonard's old Leonard's the draper's son as greatest scampus ever lived who plagued his father almost to death and then ran off to sea I never could abide him he was in the Orion the same time as master Frederick I know though I don't recollect if he was there at the mutiny did he know you said Margaret eagerly why that's the worst of it I don't believe he wouldn't know me but for my being such a fool as to call his name it was Southampton man in a strange place or else I should never been so ready to call cousins with him and nasty good for nothing fella says he miss Dixon who would have thought of seeing you here but perhaps I mistake and you are mystics are no longer so I told him he might still address me as an unmarried lady though if I hadn't been so particular I'd had good chances of matrimony he was polite enough couldn't look at me and doubt me I were not to be caught with such chaff from such a fellow as him and so I told him and by way of being even I asked him after his father who I knew I'd turn him out of doors as if they was the best friends as ever was so then to spite me for you see we were getting savage for all we were so civil to each other he began to inquire after master Frederick and said what scrape he'd gotten into as if master Frederick scrapes could ever wash George Leonard's white or make him otherwise the nasty dirty black and now he'd be hung for mutiny if every were caught and now a hundred pound reward had been offered for catching him and what a disgrace he'd been to his family all despite me you see my dear because before now they helped help Mr. Leonard's give George a good rating down in Southampton so I said there were other families as I knew who had far more course to blush for their sons and to be thankful if they could think they were earning an honest living far away from home to which he made answer like the impudent chap he is that he were in a confidential situation and if I knew any young man who had been so unfortunate as to leave vicious courses and wanted to turn steady he'd have no objection to lend him his patronage he indeed why corrupt a saint I'm not spelt so bad myself for years as when I was standing there with him the other day I could have cried to think I couldn't spite him better for he kept smiling in my face as if he knew all my compliments for Ernest and I couldn't see that he minded what I said in the least while I was mad with all his speeches but you didn't tell him anything about us about Frederick not I said Dixon he never had grace to ask where I was staying and I wouldn't have told him if he had asked nor did I ask him what his precious situation was he was waiting for a bus and just as it drove up he outed it but to plague me to the last he turned back before he got in and said you can help me to trap left turn and now Ms. Dixon will go partners in the reward I know you'd like to be my partner now wouldn't you don't be shy but say yes he jumped on the bus and I saw his ugly face leering at me with a wicked smile to think how he'd got the last word of plaguing Margaret was made very uncomfortable by this account of Dixon's have you told Frederick asked she no said Dixon I run easy in mind at knowing that bad Leonard's was in town but there was so much else to think about that I did not dwell on it at all when I saw master sitting so stiff with his eyes so glazed and sad I thought it might rouse him to have to think of master Frederick's safety a bit so I told him all though I blushed to say our young man had been speaking to me and it has done the master good and if we're to keep master Frederick in hiding he would have to go poor fella before mr bell came oh I'm not afraid of mr bell but I am afraid of this Leonard's must tell Frederick what did Leonard's look like bad-looking fella I can assure you miss whiskers such as I'd be ashamed to wear they're so red and for all he said he got a confidential situation he was dressed in fustion just like a working man it was evident that Frederick must go go to when he had so completely vaulted into his place in the family and promised to be such a stay and staff to his father and sister go when his cares for the living mother and sorrow for the dead seem to make him one of those peculiar people who are bound to us by a fellow love for them that are taken away just as Margaret was thinking all this sitting over the drawing room fire her father restless and uneasy under the pressure of this newly aroused fear of which he had not as yet spoken Frederick came in his brightness dimmed the extreme violence of his grief passed away he came up to Margaret and kissed her forehead how one you look Margaret said he in a low voice you have been thinking of everybody and no one has thought of you lie on this sofa there is nothing for you to do that is the worst said Margaret in a sad whisper she went and lay down and her brother covered her feet with a shawl and then sat on the ground by her side and the two began to talk in a subdued tone Margaret told all that Dixon had related of her interview with young Leonard's Frederick's lips closed in a long view of dismay I should just like to have it out with that young fellow a worst sailor was never on board nor much worse man either I declare Margaret you know the circumstances of the whole affair yes mama told me well and all the soldiers who are good for anything were indignant with our captain this fellow to curry favor and to think of his being here oh if he'd a notion I was within 20 miles of him he'd ferret me out to pay off old grudges I'd rather anyone had the 100 pounds they think I am worth than that rascal what a pity poor old Dixon could not be persuaded to give me up and make a provision for her old age oh Frederick hush don't talk so Mr. Howe came towards them eager and trembling he had overheard what they were saying he took Frederick's hand in both of his my boy you must go it is very bad but I see you must you have done all you could you have been a comfort to her oh papa must he go said Margaret pleading against her own conviction of necessity I declare I have a good mind to face it out and stand my trial if I could only pick up my evidence I cannot endure the thought of being in the power of such a blackout as that Leonard's I could almost have enjoyed in other circumstances this stolen visit it has had all the charm which the French woman attributed to forbidden pleasures one of the earliest things I can remember said Margaret was your being in some great disgrace Fred for stealing apples we had plenty of trees of our own trees loaded with them someone had told you that stolen fruit tasted sweetest which you took au pied de la letre and off you went to robbing you have not changed your feelings much since then yes you must go repeated Mr. Howe answering Margaret's question which she had asked some time ago his thoughts were fixed on one subject and it was an effort to him to follow the zigzag remarks of his children an effort which he did not make Margaret and Frederick looked at each other that quick momentary sympathy would be theirs no longer if he went away so much was understood through eyes that could not be put into words both course the same thought till it was lost in sadness Frederick shook it off first do you know Margaret I was very nearly giving both Dixon and myself a good fright this afternoon I was in my bedroom I had heard a ring at the front door but I thought the ringer must have done his business and gone away long ago so I was on the point of making my appearance in the passage when as I opened my front door I saw Dixon coming downstairs and she frowned and kicked me into hiding again I kept the door open and heard a message given to some man that was in my father's study and that then went away who could it have been some of the shopman very likely said Margaret indifferently there was a quiet little man who came up for orders about two o'clock but this was not a little man great powerful fellow and it was passed for when he was here it was Mr. Thornton said Mr. Howe they were glad to have drawn him into the conversation Mr. Thornton said Margaret a little surprised I thought well little one what did you think asked Frederick that she did not finish her sentence oh only said she reddening and looking straight at him I fancied you meant someone of a different class not a gentleman someone come on an errand look like someone of that kind said Frederick carelessly I took him for a shopman and he turns out to be a manufacturer Margaret was silent she remembered how at first before she knew his character she had spoken and thought of him just as Frederick was doing it was but a natural impression that was made upon him and yet she was a little annoyed by it she was unwilling to speak she wanted to make Frederick understand what kind of person Mr. Thornton was but she was tongue-tied Mr. Howe went on he came to offer any assistance in his power I believe but I could not see him I told Dixon to ask him if he would like to see you I think I asked her to find you and you would go to him I don't know what I said he has been a very agreeable acquaintance has he not asked Frederick throwing the question like a ball for anyone to catch who chose a very kind friend said Margaret and her father did not answer Frederick was silent for a time last he spoke Margaret it is painful to think I could never thank those who have shown you kindness your acquaintances and mine must be separate unless indeed I run the chances of a court-martial or unless you and father would come to Spain he threw out this last suggestion as a kind of feeler and then suddenly made the plunge you don't know how I wish you would I have a good position the chance of a better continued he reddening like a girl that Dolores Barber I was telling you of Margaret I only wish you knew I'm sure you would like no love is the right word like is so poor you would love her father if you knew her she is not 18 but if she is in the same mind another year she is to be my wife Mr. Barber won't let us call it an engagement but if you would come you would find friends everywhere besides Dolores think of it father Margaret be on my side no no more removals for me said Mr. Howe one removal has cost me my wife no more removals for me in this life she will be here and here I will stay at my appointed time oh Frederick said Margaret tell us more about her I never thought of this but I am so glad you will have someone to love and care for you out there tell us all about it in the first place she is a Roman Catholic it is the only objection I anticipated but my father's change of opinion nay Margaret don't sigh Margaret had reason to sigh a little before the conversation ended Frederick himself was Roman Catholic in fact though not in profession as yet this was then the reason why his sympathy in her extreme distress at her father's leaving the church had been so faintly expressed in his letters she had thought it the carelessness of a sailor but the truth was that even then he was himself inclined to give up the form of religion into which he had been baptized only that his opinions were tending in exactly the opposite direction to those of his father how much love had to do with this change not even Frederick himself could have told Margaret gave up talking about this branch of the subject at last and returning to the fact of the engagement she began to consider it in some fresh light but for her sake Fred you will surely try and clear yourself of the exaggerated charges brought against you even if the charge of mutiny itself is true if there were to be a court-martial and you could find your witnesses you might at any rate show how your disobedience to authority was because that authority was unworthily exercised Mr. Howe roused himself up to listen to his son's answer in the first place Margaret who is to hunt up my witnesses all of them are sailors drafted off to other ships except those whose evidence would go for very little as they took part or sympathized in the affair in the next place allow me to tell you you don't know what a court-martial is and consider it as an assembly where justice is administered instead of what it really is a court where authority weighs nine-tenths in the balance and evidence forms only the other tenth such cases evidence itself can hardly escape being influenced by the prestige of authority but is it not worth trying to see how much evidence might be discovered and arrayed on your behalf at present all those who knew you formally believe you guilty without any shadow of excuse you have never tried to justify yourself and we have never known where to seek for proofs of your justification now for Miss Barber's sake make your conduct as clear as you can in the eye of the world she may not care for it she has I'm sure that trust in you that we all have you all not to let to ally herself to one under such a serious charge without showing the world exactly how it is that you stand you disobeyed authority that was bad but you have stood by without word or act while the authority was brutally used would have been infinitely worse people know what you did but not the motives that elevated out of a crime into a heroic protection of the weak for Dolores's sake they ought to know but how must I make them though I'm not sufficiently sure of the purity and justice of those who would be my judges to give myself up to a court martial even if I could bring a whole array of true speaking witnesses I can't send a bellman out to cry aloud and proclaim in the streets where you have pleased to call my heroism no one would read a pamphlet of self-justification so long after the deed even if I put one out will you consult a lawyer as to your chances of exculpation ask Margaret looking up and turning very red I must first catch my lawyer and have a good look at him and see how I like him before I make him into my confidant many a brief list Barrister might twist his conscience into thinking that he could earn a hundred pounds very easily by doing a good action in giving me a criminal up to justice nonsense Frederick because I know a lawyer on whose honor I could rely if he's cleverness in his profession people speak very highly and who would I think take a good deal of trouble for any of aunt shore's relations Mr. Henry Lennox Papa I think it's a very good idea said Mr. Howe but don't propose anything which will detain Frederick in England don't for your mother's sake you could go to London tomorrow evening by night train continued Margaret warming up to her plan he must go tomorrow I'm afraid Papa said she tenderly we fix that because of Mr. Bell and Dixon's disagreeable acquaintance yes I must go tomorrow said Frederick decidedly Mr. Howe groaned I can't bear to part with you and yet I'm miserable with anxiety as long as you stop here well then said Margaret listen to my plan he gets to London on Friday morning I will you might no it would be better for me to give him a note to Mr. Lennox you'll find him at his chambers in the temple I will write down a list of all the names I can remember on board the Orion I could leave it with him to ferret them out his ediff's husband's brother isn't he I remember your naming him in your letters I have money in barbers hands I can pay a pretty long bill there is any chance of success money dear father that I had meant for a different purpose so I shall consider it only as borrowed from you and Margaret don't do that said Margaret you won't risk it if you do and it will be a risk only it is worth trying you can sell from London as well as from Liverpool to be sure little goose wherever I feel water heaving under a plank there I feel at home I'll bring up some craft or other to take me off never fear a Wednesday 24 hours in London away from you on the one hand and from somebody else on the other it was rather a comfort to Margaret that Frederick took it into his head to look over her shoulder as she wrote to Mr. Lennox she had not been thus compelled to write steadily and concisely on she might have hesitated over many a word and been puzzled to choose between many an expression in the awkwardness of being the first to resume the intercourse of which the concluding event had been so unpleasant to both sides however the note was taken from her before she had even time to look it over and treasured up in a pocket book out of which fell a long lock of black hair the sight of which caused Frederick's eyes to glow with pleasure now you would like to see that wouldn't you said he no you must wait until you see her yourself she is too perfect to be known by fragments no mean brick shall be a specimen of the building of my palace end of chapter 31 chapter 32 north and south this is a levy vox recording our levy vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit levy vox.org recording by Penelope USA north and south by Elizabeth Cascoe chapter 32 mischances what remain to be denounced drag it may be in chains Warner all the next day they sat together day three Mr. Hale hardly ever spoke but when his children asking questions and forced him as it were into the present Frederick's grief was no more to be seen or heard the first park system had passed over and now he was ashamed of having been so battered down by emotion and though he sorrow for the loss of his mother was a deep real feeling and would last out his life it was never to be spoken of again market not so passionate at first was more suffering now at times she cried a good deal and her manner even speaking on different things had a mournful tenderness about it which was deep in whenever he looks fell on Frederick and she thought of his rapidly approaching departure she was glad he was going on her father's account however much she might grieve over it on her own the anxious there and Mr. Hale live bless his son should be detected and captured far outweigh the pleasure he derived from his presence the nervousness and increase in Mrs. Hale's death probably because he dwelled upon it more exclusively he started at every unusual sound and was never comfortable unless Frederick sought out that they needed you if anyone entering the room towards the evening he said you will go with Frederick to the station Margaret I should want to know his safely off you will bring me word that he's clear of Milton at any rate certainly said Margaret I should like it if you won't be lonely without me papa no no I should always be fancying someone had known him and that he had been stopped unless you could tell me had seen him off and go to the outward station it is quite as near and not so many people about take a cab there there's less risk of his being seen what time you should train Fred 10 minutes past six very nearly dark so what will you do Margaret oh I can manage I'm getting very brave and very hard it is a well-liked road all the way home if it should be dark but I was out last week much later Margaret was thankful when the parting was over the parting from the dead mother and the living father she hurried Frederick into the cab in order to shorten the scene which she saw was so bitterly painful to her father who would accompany his son as he took his last look at his mother partly in consequence of this and partly owing to one of the very common mistakes in the railway guide as to the times when trains arrive at the smallest stations they found on reaching outward the dead nearly 20 minutes to spare the booking office was not open so they could not even take the ticket they accordingly went down the flight of steps that led to the level of the ground below the railway there was a broad cinder path diagonally crossing a field which lay alongside of the current road and they went there to walk backwards and forwards for the few minutes they had to spare Margaret's hand laying faggots on he took hold of it affectionately Margaret I am going to consult Mr. Lennox as to the chance of exculpating myself so that I may return to England whenever I choose more for your sake than for the sake of anyone else I can't better think of your own position if anything should happen to my father he looks sadly changed terribly shaken I wish could get him to think of the could this plan for many reasons what could you do if you were taken away you have no friend here we accused the pair of relations Margaret could hardly keep from crying at the tender anxiety with which Frederick was bringing before her an event which yourself felt was not very improbable so severely the cares of the last few months told upon Mr. Hill but she tried to rally as she said there have been such trains and expected changes in my life during these last two years that I feel more than ever that it is not worthwhile to calculate too closely what I should do if any future event took place I try to think only upon the present she paused they were standing still for a moment close on the field side of the style leading into the road the setting sun fell on their faces Frederick had her hand in his and looked with wistful anxiety in her face reading there more care and trouble than she would portray by words she went on we shall write often to one another and I would promise for I see it was such a minor things to tell you every worry I have but pa is she started a little a hardly visible start but Frederick felt a sudden motion of the hand he held and turn his full face to the road along which a horseman was slowly riding just passing the very style where they stood Margaret bowed her bow was deeply returned who is that said Frederick almost before he was out of hearing Margaret was a little drooping a little flush as she replied Mr. Thornton he saw him before you know only his back he's an prepossessing looking fellow who is cow he has something has happened to vex him said Margaret apologetically he would not have thought him on prepossessing he had seen him in Mama I fancy it must be time to go and take my ticket if I had known how dark it would be we wouldn't have sent back the club Margaret oh don't fidget about that I can take up here if I like or go back by the railroad when I should have shops and people and lamps all the way from the Milton station house don't think of me take care of yourself I am sick with the thought that learners may be in the same train with you look well into the courage before you get in they went back to the station Margaret insisted by going to the full light of the flaring gas inside to take the ticket some idle looking young men were lounging about with the station master Margaret thought she had seen the face of one of them before and returning my proud look of offended dignity for someone in pertinent stare of undisguised admiration she went hastily to her brother who was standing outside and took hold of his arm have you got your bag let us walk about here in the platform said she a little flirtatious idea of so soon being left alone and her bravery losing out rather faster than she liked to acknowledge even to herself she heard a step following them along the flags it stopped when they stopped looking out along the line and hearing the ways of the coming train they did not speak the hearts were too full another moment and the train would be here a minute more and he would be gone Margaret almost repented the urgency with which she hadn't treated him to go to London it was showing more chances of detection in his way if he had sailed for Spain by Liverpool he might have been off in two or three hours Frederick turned round right facing the lamp where the gas started up in vivid anticipation of the train a man in the dress of a railway porter started forward a bad-looking man who seemed to have drunk himself into a state of brutality although his senses were in perfect order but your liveness said he pushing Margaret rudely on one side and seizing Frederick by the collar your name is a I believe in an instant how Margaret did not see for everything dance before her eyes but by some slight of wrestling Frederick had tripped him up and he fell from the height of three or four feet which the platform was elevated above the space of soft ground by the side of the railroad there he lay run run that's Margaret the train is here it was lanners was it oh right I would carry your bag and she took him by the arm to push him along with all her feeble force a door was open in a carriage he jumped in and as he learned out to say cut let's remarket the train rest passer and she was left standing alone she was so terribly sick and faint that she was thankful to be able to turn into the latest waiting room and sit down for an instant at first she could do nothing but cast for breath it was such a hurry says the sickening alarm says a near chance if the train had not been there at the moment the man would have jumped up again and called for assistance to arrest him she wondered if the man had got up she tried to remember if she had seen him move she wondered if he could have been seriously hurt she ventured out the platform was all alight but still quite asserted she went to the end and look over somewhat fearfully no one was there and then she was glad she had made herself go in his pack for otherwise terrible thoughts would have haunted her dreams and even as it was she was so trembling and frightened that she felt she could not walk home along the road which didn't seem lonely and dark as she gazed down upon it from the place of the station she would wait till the downtrain pass and take her seat in it but what if Lannis recognized her as Patrick's companion she peered about before venturing into the booking office to take a ticket there were only some railway officials standing about and talking loud to one another so Lannis has been drinking again said one seemingly in authority he'll need all his bows and influence to keep his place this time where is he? asked another one market her back to us them was counting her chains with trembling fingers not daring to turn around until she heard the answer to this question i don't know he gave me nine five minutes ago with some long story about a folly toad suing awfully and wanted to borrow some money from me to go to london but in the next up train he made all sorts of tipsy promises but as something else he didn't listen to them a tone took aboard his business and he went over the front door he said the nearest falls had be bound said the first speaker your money would have gone there too if he'd been such a force to lend it catch me i knew better was his london man why he has never paid me off that five shillings and so they went on and now all markets anxiety was for the train to come she hid herself once more in the lady's waiting room and fancy every noise was on a step every loud and voice was voice was his but no one came near her until the train drew up when she was severely helped into a carriage by a porter in this way she does not look till they were in motion and then she saw that it was not london's end of chapter 32