 It's like we're back to atonement. What seems to be not atonement? Yeah, I guess I don't see how I feel like I need to know how to do it. And I don't feel like I see a doorway or I don't see the cliff. Stay attentive. It's right there under your nose. I remember metaphorically in the life of David, so to speak, of being drawn, drawn, drawn to these ideas and and still having my doubts. But I mean, it's like I sense that there was something there. And you sense that there's, there is something. You sense that there is a hope of, of emancipation, a hope of happiness and peace and freedom. But it's not real anchored. It's more of a hope than an assuredness. There you get time. I still, I still say from the experiences I had on the mushrooms, it's very clear that it's there. I mean, even as long as, even though that seems to have been seven or eight years ago in linear time, the intensity with which I, that I experienced that, you know, lets me know that it's real and, and the little experiences like the one I had the other day, is letting me know it's real. But I feel like I'm in a maze and I need direction. To find out, you know, I guess how to get to the, to the cliff so that I can jump. Or to get rid of the fear so that I can jump, you know, when you want to take it out of space and get rid of, you know, get rid of the obstacles that are my fear or whatever. I want not to be afraid. And that's kind of, I guess, the way I've always had an idea that God is gentle and he knows that I'm afraid and so that I kind of always envision this process where the fear is, is slowly minimized to the point where the jumping is, you know, natural. And that's been a very helpful metaphor. Now you're, as you're starting to see the veils are starting to fall away on that one as well. You said it. You just said, so this Atomant thing is either, it's either it or it's not it. You know, you're starting to see, you were starting to just express that it was an everywhere. Again, I still, I have the sense that even when it seemed to happen because of the mushrooms that I had a choice at that point, I really feel like I had a choice at that point in time. And I feel like that this point in time is really no different than that point in time. It seemed more clear at that point in time. And I guess I had the sense that it was going to always be that way, that it was going to have to make a choice whether I wanted to go for it. And I didn't feel strong enough at that time to let that be my reality. It's great. This is a replay of purposes and only choice. So let's do like we did in that dialogue. You believe that choices and decisions are in linear time. You know, you're describing it as if I had a choice back then. So it's, who was the eye that had that choice? Keith. Keith. Keith seems to have choice. Beyond that, what is Keith? He's the person. So you must believe that persons have choice. Not only does Keith have choice, but it seems like Rhonda has a choice. Beverly has choices. Do you think they've had choices in their past to make? Like you're talking about, you believe that too. So there we go. Now we're getting down to some fundamental building blocks of what you believe. You believe that persons have choices. You believe that there were real choices in the past. Do you believe that there are some real choices coming up in the future? There we go. So it's obvious that you believe that choice is within the realm of linear time. The persons are the instruments or the agents that have the choice, the entities that have choice. As you get a fresh, crisp copy of purposes and only choice, you can follow it in because that's exactly the line of questioning that we follow in. To coming to see that, if there is a choice or a decision that will end all choice, then when would that have to be? See, I still think of now, though, as a moving now. Oh, a moving now. So there were past nows and futures. The past is always following now and the future is always being pushed off by the new now. So that's the way I think of now. It's just marching now. That's good. Now we're getting into your beliefs about time because we have past nows and future nows. I guess I was reading something in a metaphysical book and it was talking about, well, if now is the only time then you don't plan. And whatever and the person enlightened, one would say, well, if you've got an appointment next week on Thursday at noon, you write that down. And when that becomes now, then you go to that appointment. So that's why I think that's a symbol of that belief that certainly seems like there are weeks to come. And I have commitments that I've made to be at Mountain Jacks at, you know, like 315 today. And even though I understand that that thing's just going around and really nothing's changing, life isn't changing because this thing's going around. But when that thing shows three o'clock, I'll make every attempt to get up and put on my clothes and go to Mountain Jacks. Until I can see something else that allows me to say, I don't know, I'm not going to do that anymore. So you believe it and therefore you've had experiences that witnessed to it, including reading that book of what that enlightened teacher was saying. You know, it's like the mind gets exactly what it wants and the mind sees what it believes. If the mind believes in linear time, it sees a world in which time seems to be linear. Not only that, but there seems to be other figures in the dream that seem to also be moving around on the clock. But that's what we do when we go in question, question, question, question, question. It comes down to if there is a choice that will end all these seeming choices, that it has to be now and it has to be a choice that's very different than the choices of the world. Choosing to buy an escort, choosing to work at Mountain Jacks, choosing to marry Julie, choosing to leave this house today at whatever, going to three. Would you say after now it has to be now and what? It has to be now and it has to be very different from the choices of the world. The choice that we're talking about is now and is the choice of content, not of form. The choice between going to Mountain Jacks or not going to Mountain Jacks, marrying Julie, not marrying Julie, deciding to have a child, not deciding to have children. On and on and on, all the personal choices of the world, all those choices that you believe are real in the past and all those ones that you believe are real in the future is questioning those and saying is there a choice? Am I open to a choice of purpose, a choice of content that I can only make right now? But isn't it always right now? See that's the thing, how can I get away from that idea of if I accept it, it's always right now? Couldn't I have made that choice yesterday? Who is it? Do you still believe that choices, there's an eye that... Okay, then let me take it away from that. When I start to realize that I'm not a body, I realize that I've always been an eternity. And that will be right now because it's always now an eternity. There's no time. It's important to not to get too hung up, but I think it's great that you're seeing how it all boils down to time. You have, just by sitting there and talking about it, you're saying, yes I believe in past choices, yes I believe in future choices. Yes I believe in that person that had past choices and future choices. That is all the wrong mind, but as you continue to question that, as you continue to just keep open and say, hmm, I want to look closer at this, maybe it isn't the way I think it is. Maybe I've been mistaken about everything and you're open to an experience that is different than the way that it has seemed to be. It will come. It has come. You will accept it. You will be aware of it. See, and that's, I still, I have this feeling that I didn't accept it. There was a time when I didn't accept that. I have a feeling that that's what life is about, is just accepting, you know, what life that seems to be on the planet Earth is about, is about that acceptance. The sole responsibility of the miracle worker or the teacher of God is to accept the atonement for himself. That's boiling it down. Sole responsibility, more than my responsibilities in Mountain Jack, my responsibilities as a parent, my responsibilities as a husband, my responsibilities as a citizen, as a law abiding citizen, you know, all of that. The sole, it can be so simple as the sole responsibility is to accept the atonement. But I guess I need to talk more about what that involves because I don't know if that, those are just words to me right now. Have we talked about anything other than that in these teaching sessions? That's what a teaching session is, is to talk further on what is in the way of that acceptance right now. You know, what a joy to start to see some of the assumptions and the things that one believes in. You know, it may not seem comforting to think, oh, great, I believe in it. Yeah, I was thinking, it's kind of like going to the dentist and saying, oh, I didn't think I had any cavities. Oh, I've got cavities. I'm in with that bunch of people. I've got cavities. I was just like, oh, I didn't think I would need to know. It's kind of the old thing of being twice removed from reality. If you believe in illusions, but you don't even have a clue that you're believing in illusions, that you think you're really living in a real world and you don't even have a clue that there's anything beyond this. Mind? What's a mind? I can't see it. I can't taste it. I can't touch it. I can't, I don't even know that there is such a mind. You know, if I'm believing so much in the reality of what the senses are showing me, and I don't have any clue that there's anything beyond that, then I'm twice removed from reality. So what's once removed from reality? Oh, this is a world of my own making. I believe, I'm being told, I'm reading in the Course, that this world is made up, that I have made this world up and that it's my beliefs. I'm bought into false beliefs. Well, that can still be uncomfortable. Where's the rest in that? I'm bought into false beliefs. But you're one step from reality. Reality of stepping back and seeing that's not me. The ego is history. I'll read you a little passage from the very back of the book, which is in the clarification of terms. It's number two, clarification of terms in the teacher's manual, and it's number two, the ego, the miracle. What is the ego? Nothingness, but in a form that seems like something. In a world of form, the ego cannot be denied.