 CHAPTER XIV DREAMS AS A DREAM WHEN ONE AWAKENTH Do you have dreams? I do not mean dreams when you are asleep, but those glorious ones that come when you are awake, where you are accomplishing the things you like to do, always succeeding in all your undertakings, dreams in which you taste the sweets of love and praise and beauty, where your upward way is lined with achievements and failures are never known. What a foolish question for me to ask a girl. I might as well ask if you eat or sleep. You would be just as natural a girl without doing either, as to live without dreaming. Dreams are as much a part of your youth as are your fair skin and sparkling eyes. It is impossible to think of a girl into whose life no bright dreams come. Such a life would be dark indeed. Dreams have a large place in character building. In them the dreamer works out many problems and comes to decisions as to what is right and wrong, in many changing circumstances. If a girl will watch her dreams, she may know what kind of creature she is. If her dreams are of social conquest, fine clothes, and a life of gaiety, that is what she is in her heart. Though her life may be ever so humdrum, she will never be happy till she gets these things she dreams of. She is fitting herself to be satisfied with nothing but that of which she dreams. Her nature is being shaped to fit that kind of life. And how little such a life brings in real happiness. After the best that it can give is all devoured, the heart is left as empty and hungry as before. Such dreams are so much wasted time. Perhaps her dreams are of romance and love, and she builds great castles in the air around that time in her life when one shall come who looks upon her as the best, and most to be desired of all earthly creatures. She clothes him in the richest of garments and calls him in fine carriages, and he carries her to riches and luxury. She is all outside the plain life as she finds it. Her eyes are large and dreamy as she looks into the magical future to which she is coming. Such dreams are foolish and silly, and never build up good, sound, common sense. They unfit the girl for usefulness and make her unable to appreciate the good about her. She will pass by true love with a frown of disgust while she is waiting for her love dream to come true. Such dreaming is not only wasting time but is making soft and mushy the character. Again the girl's dreams are of the time when she shall have a true lover, a husband, a home, and children. She looks ahead in her dreams and sees how she wishes to be a true wife, a good mother, and to fill the place honorably. She in her dreams sees many of the very circumstances that have come up in the lives of men and women about her, and works out these problems, always with the thought of God and right. She never allows herself to dream of being other than a true woman, being in a womanly way. Such dreams, if not carried to excess, are true character builders. A girl should look ahead to what she expects in life and endeavor to fit herself to fill the place as it should be filled. Yet again a girl may allow her dreams to dwell upon things that are not pure, and she may sip of forbidden pleasures through her imaginations. It is possible for her to become vile in her heart, with a mind as foul as the lowest character on the street, and yet live apparently a pure life, just by unclean dreaming. Such a girl has all her guards down, and will, when the temptation comes strong, fall into acts of sin, as well as thoughts of sin. Such dreams are sinful in the extreme, and cannot be found in the girlhood, beautiful. Other girls dream of success in business undertakings, or in some other chosen field of work. They not only dream, but set to work to make those dreams come true. I will say that no girl has ever made a success at anything in which her dreams have not gone ahead to brighten the way before her. She has been able to dream dreams when the circumstances about her were all against their fulfillment. They have given her courage and strength by the way. Such dreams are always good. And again we find some girls who feel deep in their hearts a desire for usefulness in some special way in the world. They want to be nurses, or teachers, or missionaries, or gospel workers. Every dream of theirs is of the day when they may be at these things. And true to their calling they endeavor to make their lives bend toward those ends. Every glorious life lived unselfishly in toil on these chosen fields is the fruit of these dreams. Without the dream the girl would never have undergone the work and hardship of preparation and service. Would that every girl had some such dream to beckon her own. Mary Slesser, the White Queen of Aqoyan, from childhood dreamed herself a missionary in Africa. It is my privilege to know personally women who have given a large portion of their lives to gospel and missionary work, and they tell me of their dreams, which became more than dreams. Why do girls dream? Because all life is before them, and they cannot but anticipate the future that awaits them. Youth is the time for making ready, and why should a girl not try to get some idea of the thing for which she is making ready? She is like a person standing upon the shore, watching her ship come in. What goes on around her is of little account. All her riches lie out there in the deep, in that slowly approaching ship. So the girl stands and looks forward. All that has been in her life and all that is now are only passing and of little weight. Her riches and joys lie in the ship just ahead. Dream, my little friend, dream. But guide your dreams lest they wander off into forbidden paths, and do not let your dreams consume time that should be given to present service. The girl who sits in dreams of the good things she is going to do, while she lets her mother overwork for lack of her help now, is making poor progress in the fulfillment of her dreams. The girl who dreams of the time when she, a woman, will be kind and gracious to all. One who is loved for her thoughtfulness and gentle ways, and yet who gives place now to sharp words and impatience, is wasting her time. The only dreams that are worthwhile are those that can be, and are, worked out in practical everyday life. A girl will dream. She cannot help it. She may let her mind wander on, wasting the strength and power that might come from proper musings as the power of the waterfall is wasted till it is harnessed and put to work. The true character-builder harnesses her dreams and makes them work for her, building up pure ideals and a strong purpose to make those dreams come true. Dream, but let the dreams be of usefulness and service, of purity and truth. Look away to the mountain heights, and, after looking, climb, climb, climb. Make your dreams come true. You can do it if they are the right kind. God bless the girl with dreams. Friendships A friend, loveth at all times. Friendship is a wonderful thing. The love of friendship is often stronger than the love of brotherhood or sisterhood. There is a cord of tenderness and appreciation, binding those who are friends, which is lovely beyond words to express it. Every true-hearted girl loves her friends with a devotion that beautifies her life and enlarges her heart. She, who is unable to be true in friendship, has little of value in her. A friendship does not grow up spontaneously. It must have a good soil in which to take root, good seed from which to start, and care and cultivation in order to become its best. The good soil is sincerity and truth, coupled with kindness and affection. The good seed is love and appreciation, and it must be watched closely that no words of jealousy or envy creep in, and the soil must be constantly stirred by kind acts, words of appreciation and affection, and mutual admiration. There dare be no selfish interest nor evil suspicions in true friendship. The smallest bit of mistrust will blight it like frost. Friendship is tender, but it is beautiful. An old friend is more to be prized than a new one. The longer friendship stands, the stronger it becomes, if it be the genuine kind. New friends spring up and fall away, but old friends cling to you through all. Hold fast your dear friends and those who have been friends to your father before you. They have your interest at heart. They will judge kindly when new friends condemn. A person is made better or worse by his friends. If they are well-chosen and faithful, they build up and make strong the best that is in one. But if they are unwisely chosen, they drag down and destroy all that is pure within. For a man will be like his friends. Show me the friends of a girl, those whom she most appreciates, and I will tell you what kind of girl she is, though I never see her. Good girls have friends who are pure, noble, sincere. Girls who are careless of their deportment and reputation have just the other kind. You will find them seeking friends among those who are like-minded. A girl cannot rise higher than the level of her friends. Either they will lift her up, or she will descend to their level. A girl should have many friends, but only a very few intimate friends. There is an inner circle into which a girl with true womanly instinct cannot invite many. Her nature is such that she must have a confidant, one to whom she feels free to tell out her heart's deepest secrets. But she is foolish indeed who tries to be thus confidential with many. The safest girl is the one who makes her mother her most confidential friend. Every girl wants a chum. A chum used in the right way is a good thing in a girl's life, but there is a chumminess that is detrimental in the extreme. When a chum comes into a girl's heart closer than any other person, and to that chum is told every little secret, not only of the teller, but of her family also, and into her ears is poured out every bit of gossip and slander the girl hears, that chum is a detriment. When two girls plan together against the laws and management of their homes, vowing undying fidelity to each other in their secrets, chums become a menace indeed. But when two girls can be understanding friends, each able to go to the other for help and encouragement, and whose plans and lives are kept open for the inspection of interested mothers, such friendships are good. Figgleness in friendship is a common girlish fault. Youth changes so fast that she who pleases for a while soon becomes dull. For a few weeks or months the vials of love and devotion are poured out on the chosen chum, and then in a moment of misunderstanding the cords are broken, and in another day bound upon another friend. To the new friend are poured out all the secrets gained from the old friend, and so the gossip grows. A girl who will become miffed with her friend and tell what she has sacredly promised to keep is not worthy of being called a friend. Some girls take their girlhood friendships too seriously. They allow a sentimental love to bind itself around a chum, so that a few weeks of separation may cause oceans of tears to be shed. The red eyed one goes about feeling herself a martyr to love, when she is only enjoying a foolish sentiment. In friendship be sensible. When girls have friends among the men and boys, even more care should be used in their selection and treatment than when with girls. There is only a small margin between the love of friendship and romance, and what the girl may have begun only as friendship may develop into something more serious. Again, if a girl will make herself too familiar in her friendships with the other sex, she is liable to give them a wrong conception of her. She may appear to them to be only a good fellow, and they may interpret that appellation to mean that she has let down some of her womanly guards and does not expect to be treated with the deference and respect, usually given to good women. Any girl is in a dangerous position when she gets this reputation. When girls work and play with men and boys, as they all will do some time or other, they should be sociable, friendly, even jolly in their association together. But never should girls forget that it is their place to avoid and resent any bold familiarity, and that every true man or boy will respect them for keeping up their guards. True friendship will never ask a woman to step down from her womanly dignity and discretion. She holds her honor and her appearance of honor higher than everything else. My dear friend, choose your friends carefully and keep them loyal. While you are kind to those who have fallen, remember that it is not for you, a young girl, to raise them up by seeking their company. You are too easily drawn away yourself. Let your friends be chosen from among those whom you can admire and emulate. That is, those whose conversation and deportment will lead you up instead of down. Keep in mind, of course, the two classes of friends. That outward group to whom you are always sociable and friendly, and the inner group with whom you become really intimate. One should be friends with those who need friendship, even if they are not so desirable. But no girl can become intimate with people of low standards and morals without becoming contaminated. If you are a young Christian, seek out friends among those who are longer in the service, and keep out of the company of those who draw your mind away from the things that are right. Old friends of your parents who have proved themselves true and all circumstances in the past, respect and cherish also, though they may seem queer and out of fashion now. Those who have loved and advised your father and your mother will be all the more careful in advising you. Though they be plain people and little use to the things common to you, listen to them and use their advice as far as you can. Be a true friend yourself. Never let it be said that in you was placed confidence that was not deserved. A man that hath friends must show himself friendly. End of Chapter 15 Chapter 16 of Beautiful Girlhood This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale Chapter 16 An Accomplished Girl She looketh well to the ways of her household and edith not the bread of idleness. I read in the society column of a paper the praises of somebody's daughter in which she was referred to as an accomplished young woman, and the reason given for calling her by this high-sounding term lay in the fact that she could sing well, spoke three languages, was active in social work, and so forth. I could but smile as I read. For from my point of view, these are not the accomplishments a girl needs the most. Such things are good in their place, and if girl can gain them as she is fortunate. But the best accomplishments are in the reach of every energetic, enterprising girl. First of all, a girl should know how to keep house. She should not only know how a room should look after it is put in order, but she should, by actually doing it, know the work necessary in bringing that condition about. She should know how to make beds, sweep and dust, and other hard work necessary to keeping a house in order. It should not be below her dignity to know the use of the scrub brush and mop, though she may not do the work regularly. She should know how and be able to fill the place when necessary. The girl should be able to cook good, nourishing meals. It is not enough that she can make fudge and salad and cake. She should be able to cook vegetables and meats in an appetizing manner. The girl should be able to launder her own clothes and do it well. The steam will not ruin her complexion, nor will her hands be spoiled by the process, and she will have a great deal more sympathy for the one whose life is made up of hard work if she occasionally fills the backache that comes from this kind of flavor. Our girl should know how to sew and to mend. It takes time and patience to learn these things, but it pays in the long run. There are few girls who have ever come to a time when these things were necessary. The girl may plead that she does not need to do this kind of work, that her father is able to hire it all done. That may be true, but it is also true that many girls who began life in just such an easy way have come to circumstances where help could not be hired. I shall never forget the disconfiture of one dear girl who had become quite accomplished on other lines, but had not learned these homely arts and did not begin to learn them until she had two small children to care for. Small help her music and other accomplishments were then. She needed just the things we have been talking about now. Our accomplished girl should know how to take care of her own body, keeping it clean and in a healthy condition. All her learning will be of little service if she is sickly and weak. Our girl should learn some useful way of wage earning so that in case of necessity she will be able to make her own way. Such things happen in life when the strongest bars are taken away and the girl all shelter from danger and hardship is pushed out by the hand of fate, and if she is not able to do something that will bring her a livelihood, her lot is a sad one. And every girl should have an education in business, or at least an understanding of common business methods. Many are the women who face the world in terror because they must do business and have no idea of how it is done. These things I have been talking about constitute, it seems to me, a real foundation for true accomplishments, and all that a girl can learn over and above these is that much to her praise and credit. She should know how to entertain. According to her place in life, she should be able to be a hostess to her friends and those who come within her gates and do it with ease and grace. Although girls of today are entering open doors of opportunity everywhere, becoming teachers, business women and social leaders, yet most of them will after all in time become homemakers and mothers. And since this is the life work of the many, ought not they all be accomplished in those things they will need the most? Since practically all girls have a home to learn these things in, ought they not to take advantage of their opportunities? The world will call the woman accomplished, who can take her place in the social life and work of the world. But let us not forget these homely accomplishments which are the real foundations of woman's work and place in life. THE GREAT ENGINE Upon the track might have every part complete, with fire in the box and steam in the boiler, but it will not go as it should unless it is well oiled. While perfect workmanship and fire and water are all necessary, the oil is needed also. Just so it is with our lives, we may build high ideals and have lofty aspirations, may do many good deeds and be prepared for usefulness in many ways, but if there is not in our lives the oils that lubricate the machinery of life we shall be unable to make progress. You have heard the creek and groan of wheels that needed oil, and you may have tried to use a machine whose oil cups had become dry, friction dragging the whole machine. Un-oiled lives are just the same, running hard with much complaining. You can tell them by their lamentations and murmurings and by the friction they produce. There is the oil of kindness which should go down into the heart, and which, working out from there, will make the daily life go smoothly. In fact, this oil is of little use if it does not go down into the heart. For any that is only put on the tongue, or over some special act for the time being, will soon wear off and leave the machine as creaky as before. But she who gets kindness down into her heart will find it working out in her words and actions until she becomes a constant blessing in the household. One who has kindness of heart is able to look upon the failings of others with consideration and patience, for she remembers that she herself is not without fault. She who has this precious oil in her life is not saying cutting things and giving way to hard speeches which wound and hurt her companions. Another oil very good to put on with kindness is called politeness. Used alone it does not do thorough work, because it does not reach every part. It will help in conduct toward those who are higher or of more apparent consequence, but the tongue and actions will be rough as toward the poor and old and weak. But politeness with kindness makes a very smooth and pleasant combination of oils. Only when politeness is used in this way will it show a genuine character. Little courtesies help along very much in oiling life. Thank you, and if you please, are two short phrases that oil a request and make it smooth and pleasing to the one receiving it. I beg your pardon and please excuse me, are two more little polite remarks that make good lubricants. To rise and give your seat to an older person, to show particular courtesy to the aged, to speak respectfully to and about the old and infirm, are little things. But they make glad the hearts of the aged pilgrims through life and cause their faces to shine. It has been said that these little courtesies are like air cushions, nothing in them, yet they still the jars of life immensely. Let us have plenty of them to help us over the bumps of life. Kind thoughts are also good oil to place on troubled waters. If one will, by God's help, always keep his thoughts of those about him, kind and forgiving, no matter how trying things may be, then he can go along without friction. Every unkind word and act is the result of some unkind thought, and some of these thoughts bear fruit almost immediately. So long as I can keep a thought of kindness in my heart, I can treat my brother well. Patience is another oil much needed in life's machinery. There is so much that tends to annoy and fret a girl, that goes crosswise to what she wants it to go. There are so many days that she has to spend doing things she does not care to do. So many disappointments and little vexing things that if she does not keep well oiled with patience, she is liable to become cross and sharp spoken. When any one in a home runs low with patience, it is keenly felt by all the rest. The expression of the countenance, the tone of the voice, the manner of speaking, all tell instantly that patience has run low. Every girl needs a good supply of this precious lubricant, which not only smooths the rough places, but gives to the life of fragrance that is very pleasant. She who is both kind and patient is always desirable. Thoughtfulness and consideration are two more oils needed in any home. The members of a family live so closely together that when one member is rusty it affects all the rest, more or less. On the other hand, if the daughter of a family can keep always well oiled in tongue and spirit, with kindness, thoughtfulness, and patience, her sunny, pleasant smile will drive the shadows away and bring the sunlight into the home. When I find that I am getting sore and fretted with the annoyance of someone rubbing me the wrong way, I may know that my oil cup is getting low. For when I have plenty of the oils of life, I can stand a great deal of rubbing without getting peevish. And again, if I find I am rubbing someone else till he or she is getting all worn, I had better look. It may be that I am rough and need to stop the friction of my own acts with more oil. The place to go to get fresh supplies of these precious oils is at the throne of God. Every girl who will seek may have of him all the grace she needs to keep her life running sweet and smooth in her home and in her school or wherever she may be. Or if she must be with those who are full of friction and strife, she may, in spite of it all, be so covered with the precious gentle oils that the sweetness and smoothness of her life will have a quieting effect. End of Chapter 17 Chapter 18 of Beautiful Girlhood This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale Chapter 18 Home Life Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excelest them all. Not every language has a word equivalent to the English word home, but instead use a word meaning about the same as house. How much more the thought of home brings to our minds than merely the thought of the house in which we live. The beloved ones living there and our associations with each other, our hopes and fears and joys and sorrows, all mingle together in one place of rest and sweet communion, home. Home is a little community with authority, laws, and citizens each having a part to perform that life there may be perfect. The form of government in this community is very simple. Father and mother begin a partnership in which each has responsibility and rights. There have to be laws to govern the conduct of this community as it grows in numbers and responsibility and authority to execute these laws. It is just as impossible for a home to be safe and happy without its members obeying the rules of right deportment as for a nation to be safe without laws and government and wisdom sufficient to be given that liberty. How much of the happiness of this home rests at the door of this sweet girl we cannot say. The younger daughter in the home has it in her power to make home a sweet comfortable place to live where laughter and sunshine will cheer the cloudiest day or she may turn all its pleasures to bitterness and bring sorrow and heartache. If she can submit to her parents' control, can be obedient, kind, and thoughtful, she is a constant comfort. But if she is always contending and arguing, speaking up in a saucy manner when she is crossed or scolding and quarreling with the younger children, she makes home almost unbearable. If she has a separate set of manners for her own people from what she uses when with company, she is a constant disappointment. I never liked the blank look that a mother's face takes when someone commends the gentle kindness of a daughter of this type. She does not wish to lower her daughter in her friend's estimation, nor can she heartily agree as to her daughter's kindness. A girl should have her full share of responsibility in the home. She should go about her work willingly, not as if it were an irksome duty which she was ill-disposed to perform. She should count herself one of the family, one of the children, having only equal rights and privileges with the rest. A girl and her father should be good comrades. Too often this is not the case, that they live lives entirely apart from each other in interest and enjoyment. This is not always altogether the girl's fault, but it is a condition she can remedy, to a great extent, by a little thoughtful kindness. Father very often has been too busy to keep acquainted with his growing daughters, and finds them rather out of his range. They seem as much strangers to him as are their young friends whom he meets in the home. He thinks they do not care to have him about, and takes himself off to his room or chair or on the porch, and leaves them to themselves. One girl, who found herself thus a stranger to her father, formed the habit of going to meet him each evening she could get off. She was either at the corner, or at least at the door when he came, and when she could, she was at his office, so that they might have the whole way home together. It was only a little while until this homecoming was the happiest part of both their days, and many loving confidences were exchanged, which would never have been possible without her first step. Another family had the father's hour, as they called it, the first hour after supper, and both he and the others planned their day to have this hour together. Fathers do like to be counted in. Any girl who will speak disrespectfully, either to or of her father, is lacking in one of the first principles of real womanhood. She should always remember that father has the right to direct her life, to say what she shall and shall not do, to forbid her to go anywhere that is not proper. His word to her should be final. His approval to her should mean much. The daughter and her mother come into closer relationship. They touch each other on many more points than do daughter and father. And if the daughter is safe from the temptations and allurements of sin about her, she is a girl who makes her mother her chief confidant. To her goes every secret, every hope, and every fear. All the perplexities of her young life are threshed out by mother's side. But mother has so much of her daughter's life to oversee, that it becomes irksome to the girl. When the girl is small, her mother is responsible for almost every act, every hour of the day. She says how the child's hair shall be calmed, what dress she shall wear, where she shall go, and what she shall do. This oversight does not end all at once, for the mother dare not let loose of the responsibility till the girl is able to take hold of it. And the changing over from complete supervision to self-direction is often a hard time for both mother and daughter, the early teens usually being the hardest struggle. Let us think of a long bridge reaching across the years, one end of it resting on those approaching years, from ten to twelve, and the other end resting in the early twenties. When a girl begins to travel this bridge, her parents have her complete oversight, and are wholly responsible for her. And by the time she reaches the other end, their responsibility ends, and she is on her own. Somewhere along that bridge, the reins of her life slip out of her parents' hands and into her own. The young person begins to fill the urge to be independent, grown up, and on his own, and the parent tries to hold him back till he understands better. If parents always understood, they would give over responsibility just as fast as young folks could bear it. But unfortunately, parents do not always understand. If boys and girls understood, they could be more patient, for grown up years will come in no time at all. But since it is hard for both the parents and the boys and girls to understand, there are a few years along in the teens when some very hard struggles occur between parents and children. One of the sweetest places a young girl may have in any home is that of a big sister. What a field of happiness and usefulness is open to the girl with little brothers and sisters. They are ready to look up to her as a guide and a pattern in everything. If she manages rightly, she can have unlimited influence with them. Have you seen her, the ideal big sister? She is ever ready to kiss away the bumps and bruises of little heads and hearts. She knows just how to mend broken dolls and balls. She likes to pop corn and make candy for little people to eat. She knows such wonderful stories to tell or read. She will pick up and put out of sight those evidences of childish neglect that might bring little people into trouble. She understands and is a companion for every one of them. Yes, many homes have just such older daughters as that. The girl who is learning day by day to be a good daughter at home and a good sister to the young children is also learning day by day how to make, in time, a good wife and a good mother. She is getting ready for the greatest work a woman can do. It was a woman who had given her life for a noble and far-reaching work and who had never married, who incommended for the much that she had accomplished said, I would give it all for a pair of baby hands. There is no work so good for any woman as making a good true home for somebody. Every truly beautiful character is at its best at home. Let us never neglect the home life. Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale Chapter 19 A Girl's Ornaments Who's adorning, let it be, the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit? The girl is the woman to be, and girlhood is the dressing-room for womanhood. The perfect woman has graces and powers of body, mind, and soul that make her able to be the mother of men and to guide them into the right paths of life. Her example and influence are unbounded, not only in her own home, but in society in general. No girl can come to this perfect womanhood unless she uses the opportunities of girlhood rightly. If she does not develop a healthy, active body, she is handicapped through all her life. If she does not come to womanhood with a mind and soul that are clean and clear and properly directed, she cannot rightly feel her place. A vain, silly, giddy woman is just as unfitted for the responsibilities of life and mind and soul as a sick woman is in body. A right attitude toward her dress will not only help a girl to grow strong and vigorous in body, but will aid her in growing strong and beautiful in mind and soul. Let us always keep in mind that the perfect woman is a Christian woman. To be a true Christian is to take the path in life that was mapped out for us in the life of Christ and to show daily in life and manners the graces and the spirit of Christ. He was meek and lowly in heart, and showed always the opposite of vanity and pride. Paul speaks to Christian women of the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, and the girl who is growing into a perfect woman is noticed for her kindness, sympathy, gentleness, sweetness of spirit, and her willingness to be of service. There is about her a humility that makes you feel that she does not despise you and think you below her, that she is rather thinking of your happiness than her own personal appearance. These beautiful graces, kindness, sympathy, humility, gentleness, purity, are the real ornaments of beautiful girlhood. But it is in the ornaments that clothe and beautify her soul and mind that make her a lovable and desirable creature who carries happiness and cheer wherever she goes. Seek first the more beautiful inner ornaments and then clothe the body, so that those more important ornaments are not hidden. Your clothes should not be conspicuous among your comrades, either as old-fashioned or odd, nor as being smart and daring. It is not a trait of beautiful girlhood to expose the person in a way to call forth course, remarks, and criticisms. It is impossible to point out certain things that are wrong. For a fad that is causing strong comment today may, in a few years, be forgotten. But this principle always holds good, that our girls who are striving for a beautiful girlhood and a clean and useful womanhood should always dress so as to appear modest and quiet and inconspicuous in their environments. The same thing is true of the use of jewelry and any ornaments. For a girl to be wearing jewelry and gems gives her an appearance of pride and haughtiness that is not at all in keeping with a Christ-like spirit, nor with the girlhood beautiful. To drape herself with jewelry makes her appear silly in vain. But any girl can easily settle these matters for herself if she will keep in mind that her business is always to keep in evidence the true ornaments of mind and soul, and then be careful that in clothing and beautifying her body she does not dim her more precious ornaments. There is yet another angle regarding dress that our girls should keep in mind. Good girls behaving as they should are one of the strongest influences for good in the lives of their boy associates, and every girl striving for a clean and beautiful girlhood should not in dress or action do that which in any way lowers her in the estimation of clean-minded boys, nor causes her to become a temptation to those who are weak. I have taught thee in the way of wisdom. I have led thee in right paths. I had gone out with Betty and Jean, two very dear young friends of mine, and we were comfortably settled in our places in the street-car when an exclamation from Betty made me look up. Coming into the car was a group of girls led by a pretty young creature yet in her teens. It was she who had called out the exclamation of my little friends. She greeted them cordially, and they introduced her to me as a schoolmate whom they had not met for nearly a year. While the girls talked I could observe the new girl and her comrades. All of them had their cheeks painted red and their lips a deeper crimson than nature ever intended. Their dresses were cut in the latest fad and were startling in appearance, while extravagance in their general manners was very noticeable. They were giggling and simpering, purposely calling attention to themselves and enjoying that attention, in every way showing themselves to be silly, vain creatures. As well as I knew Betty and Jean, I found myself wondering if I had been mistaken in them, and if this was the type of girl they chose as friends, if in their hearts they were like this. The conversation lagged, and I caught my girls watching me with furtive glances as if trying to fathom my thoughts. When we stood again on the street the girls turned to me with flashing eyes and flushed cheeks and said almost in one breath, I hope you do not think for one minute that we approve of those girls. We were glad to see Belle after such a long time, but she used to be just like we are. What has changed her so? Why, she looks and acts like a bad girl. My mind was relieved as to Betty and Jean's ideals, but I could not refrain from pitying the girl who had brought upon herself their disapproval, and not only theirs, but that of every right thinking person. No girl need to be classed among the purest and truest of women who appears on the street as Belle and her companions had appeared. A girl is generally taken at her face value. That is, she is thought to be just what she appears to be. Some people will take time to know her as she is, but the great majority pass judgment on appearances only, nor are they far wrong in doing so. There are not many of us who can for any long time keep up a false appearance. Our real selves will show through. The time was when girls did not go out on the street and in public places as they do now. Even today, in some oriental countries, the women are kept secluded, and shut away from the eyes of all but their own family. When the Western nations broke away from these old customs of seclusion, they still kept their wives and daughters away from public life. But all that is changed now, and women and girls go upon the street and in public places as freely as do the men. This change in customs gives the girls many outlets for their energies and efforts that formerly were close to them, but it also gives them many more temptations. You who are living through a beautiful girlhood want to know how to use these new opportunities, and yet escape the temptations that they bring. When a girl dresses to go on the street, she should prepare herself in becoming dress, being neither untidy nor conspicuous for the brightness and godliness of her clothes. She should remember that upon the street she meets all kinds of people, and among them will be some who would put an evil construction upon any carelessness in this respect. It is for her protection and good name that we would insist upon a street dress that is modest and unassuming. The more simple the street dress, the better it is. Also, her hair should be done in a simple manner, and such as becoming to her face and years. She should strive to look just what she is. A quiet, unassuming girl going about her own affairs. The cheeks and lips painted a scarlet beyond anything nature would ever give is bad taste at any time, and is an index to a vain and foolish heart, and will not be found in beautiful girlhood. Good health and perfect cleanliness will bring a rosiness and flush to both cheek and lip that is far more beautiful than anything that can be rubbed on. When the girl is on the street or in public places, she should never laugh nor talk loudly. To do so will only call upon her undesirable attention and criticism, and it is a sign of vulgarity. A real lady will not do so. Neither will she be giggling and simpering, nor in any of her conduct will she seek to draw attention to herself. She will not doubt boisterous nor rowdy, nor keep the company of those who so act. There will be something about her which is a reproof to those who would be boisterous. A girl should never loiter about public places when she has no business calling her there. If she does so, she is forced into temptation and made an object of criticism, which will in time bring her into very undesirable situations. One girl, a very young girl, who had formed the habit of loitering about a depot at train time, picking up a conversation with some of the men she met there, thinking only of the fun there was in it, had the following experience. One day a gentleman alighted from a train which was to wait for the passengers to eat. He began walking up and down the platform. He was fine-looking and soon attracted the attention of this girl. She watched him furtively out of the corner of her eye, coughed a little, and laughed merrily and a trifle loudly with a group of her acquaintances. But at first he paid no attention. This peaked her, and she made more ardent efforts to attract his attention, for her companions were teasing her about her failure to land her catch. Her power of attraction was being tested. At last he noticed, turned, and sought her out and came directly to her. Her foolish little heart was all in a flutter at her success. She meant to do no more than to chat with him a few moments, and by so doing satisfy her vanity as to her attractiveness, and clear herself of the charge of weakness the girls had teasingly made. My dear girl, he said, tipping his hat, have you a mother at home? Why, yes, the girl stammered. Then go to her and tell her to keep you with her until you learn how you ought to behave in a public place. And, saying this, he turned and left her in confusion and shame. It was a hard rebuke, but this man had told her only what every pure-minded man and woman was thinking. Girls can hardly afford to call down upon themselves such severe criticism. A young man was walking down the street of a small city intent only upon his own affairs, but he happened to be good-looking, and a group of schoolgirls spied him. One of them expressed her decision to make his acquaintance and find out who he was. She and her companions walked rapidly and overtook him and passed him, laughing merrily and managing to catch his eye as they passed. Then they loitered till he had to pass them in getting to the corner when he turned off on purpose to avoid them. They followed him and passed him again, and this time the girl who was leading the attack was more bold in catching his eye, and with a glance challenged him to speak. He saw the challenge and flushed. He had sisters at home and had been taught by a good mother the proper respect for women. Stopping he addressed her with a smile that was not merry, and she, thinking she was about to accomplish her foolish design, waited for him to speak. He said, My young friend, you are not a bad girl, but you are acting like one. It is only a little way on the path you are going to where you will be what you pretend to be now. Promise me that you will never, as long as you live, do as you have done this evening, but that you will be a true woman. He waited a little for her to answer, turning his head so as not to see the painful flush on her face, for he was right. She was not a bad girl, just a silly one. I promise you, she said faintly, and he turned and passed on, and the group of humbled girls hurried home. If all men were as these two gentlemen, girls would not be in the danger that they are in from an unguarded act, that these were exceptions. While they set the girls back to right paths, too many would have led them on to lower depths. There is no more beautiful adornment to womanly character than purity. And the girl does well to see that everything that concerns her dress and behavior, when away from her home, on the street, or otherwise in the eyes of the public, is pure, clean, modest, and quiet. Though she should have to pass by many things that other girls count good times, she will, in the end, be far happier. End of Chapter 20 CHAPTER XXI A NEW AWAKENING Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth. Every girl who has had ordinary religious training knows that there rules a God, over all, who is all-powerful and is called our Heavenly Father. She also knows the story of Christ's life and death, why he came to earth to suffer and to die. She has heard and read of heaven and the angels and our future home. She has also been taught that we owe our service to God, that we ought to do right and not evil all the days of our lives. She has been made to feel that when she does wrong, it grieves God and brings his displeasure upon her. With many of a deeply impressionable nature has come a desire to profess Christ and to serve him fully, while they are yet but little girls. As the child passes into her teens, there comes a deeper awakening, and sometimes this new awakening seems to bring the girl into the presence of God himself. Somewhere along in those years, the child who felt responsible only to her parents for her actions now begins to realize that she must answer to God himself. Before, this child thought of wrong only as something forbidden by her parents, but now she begins to answer to a higher court. It is in this sense a solemn time. When the girl reaches the age where she feels accountable to God for her own actions, she begins to feel the need of higher help in order to do right. She looks with a new questioning upon the conduct of others, even of her parents, and sees in their lives a lack of true conduct or motive. She finds herself unable to do what she knows she should do, and realizes that her help must come from a higher power. This change of attitude toward God does not come instantly, but as the trees bud and leaf in the spring, every day bringing a gradual change until they stand in full leaf. So the girl, week by week, develops and gains knowledge and experience until she stands a woman grown before her God. At first there were only glimpses of character and purpose to which she wished to attain. Now she understands fully what her duty is before God, and as she saw her duty clearer and clearer before God she realized more and more her shortcomings. Then came the natural cry of her heart for God, the longing of her soul for help from above. The young heart, thus first really awakes to its needs, finds the simple story of the cross and power of Christ to save easily comprehended and embraced. The mind has not been filled with the doubts and questionings that often hinder those who are older, and the truths of religion are quickly grasped. This is the time when the greater portion of those who later are faithful, earnest Christians begin their service and feel the first touch of divine forgiveness. This awakening of the conscience toward God is a wonderful thing. It brings a vague uneasiness that causes the young heart to stop, to ponder and consider, and turns the thoughts naturally to holy things. If our girl will open her heart at this time it is to ask of someone whom she trusts, many questions about God and religion, and when she sits under the preaching of God's word, she feels a strong impulse to give her life to him. This will appear to her to be her duty. She will feel a shame and remorse for the wrong she has done, and sorrow that she has not been a better girl. Compared with the new life she beholds in Christ and his love, she sees herself a sinner, lost and without home of heaven, and when opportunity is given, she comes to God with her dear young life. With many girls this first impulse to divine service is dulled, and she slips back into her old ways. But it is her privilege to go right on in the service of God, learning more and more of him every day. This awakening of the heart to its sins and the need of the forgiveness of God is called conviction. That causing conviction, which whispers to the soul, pointing out its needs, is the voice of the Spirit of God, and she who hardens her heart and will not listen is shutting her door to Christ. He will come again and again, knocking louder and louder as her need is more clearly understood. But if she continues to reject the wooing of the Spirit, he will go away, leaving her heart harder than before. When conviction is yielded to, it brings the girl to repentance. Anyone is sorry for wrongdoing when called or about to be punished. But the sorrow that brings repentance comes because God has been grieved, and true repentance will make a person quit his evil ways and make right his wrongs so far as he is able. When a girl has wronged someone, or been deceitful or dishonest in anything, repentance will bring this all to her mind and make her willing to ask forgiveness. And repentance will also make her willing to forgive others as she wants to be forgiven. When she has done all that she can do in forsaking her sins and calls earnestly on God, she shall be forgiven, the Bible tells us. She will know in her own heart that she is forgiven. The Spirit, who so faithfully warned her of her sins and God's disapproval, now whispers to her heart that she is forgiven, and is an adopted child into the family of God. The burden of sin and guilt will go away, and in its place will come a feeling of peace and quietness. From this time on our girl should seek to do those things that are pleasing to God. She will find it easier to do right, and will find a joy in the service of God she never knew before. This experience we have just been describing is in the Bible called conversion, and being born again. To be converted means to be changed from one thing to another. The converted man is changed from a sinner to a Christian, from being guilty to being innocent, from the wrong path to the right one. To be born again means to become a partaker of a new life. The one who is born again begins a new life in Christ. This experience is for every seeking heart. Jesus said, you must be born again. Every person who fails to come to Christ, repenting and seeking forgiveness, will at last fail to have a home in heaven. There is no way into the favor of God and the path that leads from earth to heaven, but the way of the cross. The Christian life is the only perfect life, and that can be attained only by coming to Christ, forsaking the things of this world, which are contrary to his will, and following him all the way. Beautiful girlhood must make room for Christ and the precious word of God. There is beauty untold in God's service. CHAPTER XXII. A Christian. The disciples were called Christians first in Antioch. A disciple of Christ is one who takes Christ for an example and seeks to emulate and glorify him in all things. Only those who are thus earnestly following Christ are worthy to be called Christians. To be a Christian is the most honorable and righteous thing a person may be. There is no way to be a Christian. There is no way to be a Christian. There is no most honorable and righteous thing a person may be. There is no life, no matter how high or noble it may be, that can compare in satisfaction and happiness with the life of a real Christian. While the doors to many favored places are closed to the throngs, opening only for a favored few, this blessed life of Christian living is open and free for everyone. It was never meant that the years of any person should be filled up with the common rounds of life with nothing higher or nobler to lead on to greater things. The heart of man cannot be satisfied with the things that earth has to give. There was planted in man's heart from the beginning a desire to know and understand higher things and to commune with his maker. The complete satisfying of this God-given nature cannot be had except by knowing God. A person may become very wise and fill his mind with many things and put all his time into learning, yet there remains something unsatisfied until he finds God. Christian womanhood is the only perfect womanhood. If this be true, then we cannot find girlhood in all its beauty and perfection until it is a Christian girlhood. The life of a Christian is not too hard for a girl to live if she has the right start and really tries. First of all, to be a Christian one must be born again. Christian living is not something that people put on whenever they get ready, but is the result of the change that comes into the lives of those who have given their hearts to God. A Christian girl is truthful at all times, is honest and sincere, is pure and noble, and everything that a right living girl should be. But living that kind of upright life is not all there is to being a Christian. It is possible for a girl to be truthful, honest, sincere, pure, and noble without being a Christian. A Christian is that and more. A Christian has taken Christ as her guide and example, and she will not refuse to confess his name wherever it will glorify him. A Christian has taken Christ as her guide and example, and she will not refuse to confess his name wherever it will glorify him. She is not ashamed to tell her friends and associates that she is a servant of God. Though she may feel timid, it is not from a sense of shame, for she counts it an honor to be a servant of the Lord. The Christian girl studies her Bible and seeks to make her life a reflection of its teachings. It is her guidebook, and by it she directs her path. If she finds that anything is forbidden or spoken against in that dear book, she lets that thing go, and she is just as ready to do all it tells her to do. When a girl is a Christian, she has learned where to go for strength and courage to do right. She knows the secret power of prayer, and is often found in secret communion with God. Every girl has temptations to evil. Thoughts will come that are not right. Evil suggestions will present themselves. But if she has learned to go to God in prayer, she will have strength to resist every one and to keep her life clean. The more she has learned to look to God in prayer and trust, the more beautiful is her life. A Christian's life is not all sunshine and joy. The great pattern did not pass through life without hardness to endure, and so it must come to every Christian. One of the Gospel writers has said that it is given unto us to suffer for his sake. These sufferings must come. But who would not be willing to bear a little for one we love? There is something about a clean, positive Christian life that will make the girl different from other girls. She will not fit perfectly into all their plans. They will want to go places and do things that she feels in her heart would not please God. So of course she must refuse. They will talk in a way and allow their minds and thoughts to dwell on that which her inward consciousness tells her is not what she should do. And her quietness and lack of enjoyment in what they are discussing will rebuke them, and they will feel somewhat uncomfortable in her presence. It cannot be any other way. The Christian girl will not fit in perfectly with girls who love only the things of this world. And some of those with whom her Christian spirit does not blend will speak evil of her, snub her, and seek to make her life hard. She will be persecuted for her faith in many little ways. But for all that she may have to suffer from misunderstandings of this kind, God will supply grace and glory so that her life will be peaceful and happy anyway. Being a Christian will not hinder a girl from becoming successful in any honorable work that she may choose to do. If she will remember that she is a Christian first of all, and never allow her youthful ambitions to rise above her desire to please God, nor take the time that she should be given in a particular sense to his service, then she may study and work as hard and rise as high as possible. It is only when her ambitions take the place of Christian purpose that they become a snare to her. I have set looking over congregations of young people whose faces were as fine and intelligent and whose hopes and ambitions rose as high as any you will find anywhere. Yet whose countenances were fired with a light and purpose that were not of this world. It is a mistake to suppose that being a Christian will in any way interfere in those pursuits that are right and noble. If any calling will spoil the character of a Christian, it will also spoil the character of any person. The Christian religion crowns all noble purposes and ideals, and is a rebuke and barrier only to that which is impure and evil. The one whose girlhood is perfect may fearlessly say, I am a Christian. Our girls will meet some who live noble, upright lives whose example of morality and generosity seems perfect, yet who do not profess to be Christians, and who may even boast that they are as good without the help of Christ as the Christian is with Christ. Let us remember that such people are actually reflecting the teachings of Christ in their lives in spite of their boasts. They are as if the moon should boast of her light saying, See, I shine by myself. I need not the sun. This light that I give is all my own. We know that if the sun were not shining somewhere, the moon would be without light, for she has no light of her own. She gives only what she reflects from the sun. The high standards of morality and generosity that these upright people boast about were learned from Christian teachings. Had they been reared where such teaching could not be had, they would be in as great heathen darkness as any people. It is foolish for any to boast of his own goodness. The girl will also find some who say they are Christians, yet whose lives are not according to the Bible standard. She will find that every other good thing is counterfeited. Money, gold, jewels, everything of worth has its counterfeits, and so has Christianity. The thing that should most seriously interest every one of us is to see that we have the genuine religion of Christ. CHAPTER 23 THE QUIET HOUR Come in with your own heart and be still. Have you learned the value of a quiet hour? It may not be an hour, literally, of sixty minutes, but it is a season away from the rush and whirl of the day, when you may get your bearings and know where you are. We live in an age when everyone is in a hurry, and the girl of our homes does not escape the rush. From morning till night, week in and week out, her hands are full of work and play. If she is an ordinary energetic girl, practically every moment will be taken up with something to do, somewhere to go, or someone to see. When we work too long or too hard, our bodies become weary. When we think or study or read too much, our minds become tired, and when things do not go right and all our efforts will not pull them straight, our spirits get worn. From all these wearinesses, the quiet hour is a blessed balm. If the body is tired, to step aside to a quiet place and find a comfortable chair or couch to stretch out our weary body and let it relax to the very toes and fingertips, and there to lie till the tangled nerves straighten, resting, simply resting, will bring back vigor and strength again. There are some simple secrets in resting the body that are well to remember. To lie down a few moments upon the back with every part of the body possible touching the couch, just as an infant relaxes to rest and remain but ten minutes will refresh the body more than half an hour or more sitting in a chair or lying curled up on a couch or bed. Learn to relax if you would rest. When the mind is tired, let the books or problems be put aside and go to the quiet room or better still into the great outdoors, and there think only of those things that are pleasant and in tune with the quiet and peaceful surroundings. Soon the thickness will disappear and the feeling of stupidity give place to clear, active thinking and you will be rested. But the quiet hour is best for the wearied spirit. The girl gets into this spirit weary condition more often than some suppose. Plans are broken or frustrated. Work that is unpleasant and entirely undesirable has to be done. Misunderstandings come between her and her mother or others. She is reproved or actually scolded. Oh, there are many things to set a girl cross- wide with the world about her. And if a girl is trying to do right and is endeavoring to follow Christ in her daily life, she will look with alarm at the surging thoughts and feelings that seem set to overwhelm her. Possibly in the pressure of vexations she has spoken harshly or imprudently, and that adds to her agitation. It is now that a little season in quietness will do her good. Let her get away from everyone if possible, and the door shut so that she is entirely alone, and then have a sober talk with herself. Let her rest her body a bit if she needs it, and quiet her thoughts. There will be something in the very quietness of the place that will soothe her ruffled spirits. As soon as she is quieted, let her pray and then think quietly and soberly. Though everything seems in a turmoil at first, soon it will begin to calm down with her own spirits and order will come out of chaos. A wise mother will, if possible, provide opportunities for her children to be alone, so that each one will learn how to fall back upon himself for counsel and entertainment. If little people, when they get all worked up and out of humor, were more often sent away to think it out by themselves, many a hard time could be passed smoothly. But now that the girl has come to older years, let her learn to be wise and have her quiet hour. Those who would keep their spirits in rest and quietness should not wait till driven to seek rest and quiet from every vexation of spirit, but should make a practice of going aside and giving a portion of every day for meditation, contemplation, and prayer. Prayer is more than saying of words with the body in a certain position. It is talking with God, telling him of your joys and hopes and desires, and receiving back his answer to your own heart, making you know the things that please him. To meditate is to dwell in thought on any subject. The Christian gains much by meditating on the will and word of God. Prayer and meditation go hand in hand. Let me describe a quiet hour of mine which shines out from my girlhood with brightness as I am now writing. It was at the end of a busy day. I was never strong, and the day's work had made me tired, and its perplexities and annoyances had harassed me, so that I came to my quiet hour with the spirit somewhat troubled. I sat on the doorstep with the clear, star-lit heavens above me. As I looked up into the night, my thoughts were something like this. What a beautiful night. It is so calm and clear and quiet, and the stars shine so brightly. God, who is my father, made those stars, and he made me. He is the creator of all things. Then I was lost in wonder as I thought of the greatness of his creations. I looked at the great distance to the nearest stars, and like a flash of light came the verse of Scripture. As the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. The thought almost overwhelmed me for a moment. I knew I feared the Lord, and so his mercy was as great toward me as the heavens were high above me. All that space was filled with God's love and mercy to me. My very soul seemed in awe at the thought. I felt so safe, so calm, so quiet and rested. Then together, my Lord and I, the day was reviewed. My thoughts went back to a place where I had spoken hastily, and I felt reproved and sorry for it, and said, Lord, I will be more careful to-morrow. Then my thought went to a time at which I had kept still when someone had taunted me, and it seemed almost as by a voice so clear did the assurance come to my heart. I was pleased with you then. And I said, Lord, I will try to be even more humble the next time. So we went over the whole day. I said, for the Lord seemed very near to me. Lord, do I stand clear in thy sight? Is everything right between thee and me? And the answer came back to my own heart in the quietness of the hour. You are my child, and I am pleased with you. It was time for our family worship, and I rose and went in, with my spirit rested and my soul as calm as the summer night. I have found that these quiet hours with God, these times when I have come, as it were, into his presence, have been the strength of my Christian life, and I know they are what every young Christian needs. My dear girl, if you are not a true servant of God, the quiet hours in rest and pure meditation will make you better, and perhaps in them the precious spirit of God will talk to your heart and show you how to come to him. I pray that it may be so. But if you are serving God, do not miss these quiet hours with him. Have some time each day to go aside to meditate and pray. Be willing to do and live as you fill in your heart you should do and live after you have thus sat before him. Learn to love to be alone, to know how to depend upon yourself for entertainment, and to find in your own heart and mind something to think about and meditate upon. Do not allow yourself to be one of those light-minded creatures who must always have the stimulating effect of a companion to find enjoyment. End of Chapter 23 Chapter 24 of Beautiful Girlhood This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale Chapter 24 Making Friends of Books Of making many books there is no end. Who would not count it an honor to have among her friends the wisest, noblest, and best of earth, and have their friendship so intimate that at any time she might go to them and converse with them and have their opinions upon the matters of importance? If only one such friend were yours or mine, should we not feel honored indeed, and would we not cultivate that friendship that if possible our lives might be brightened by the association? I am certain that each one of us would feel just such an interest in so exalted a friendship. Would you be surprised if I should tell you that such a friendship is possible, not only with one or two superior persons, but with all the wisest and best of all time? As the fact in the case, we are all provided with means by which we may become acquainted with those who have moved earth's masses most, whose lives have influenced most people for good. Knowing the very motives and desires of their hearts and learning exactly what their opinions were or are, the medium for all this wonderful knowledge is the printed page. Through books we may, very intimately, know the wisest and the best. I may take a book and go into the quietness of my room and there read, as a great personal letter, what the author has to say, and there compare his views with those of others and with my own, gathering wisdom for my personal store. What a privilege this! It is said that a person becomes like his friends. This is a very truthful saying, for association makes a great difference in the life of any one. Especially is this true of the young. Boys and girls in the teens will almost certainly be like those with whom they most intimately associate, especially if they have chosen their associates. Like begets like, and we naturally seek out and enjoy those who are congenial to us, passing by those whose taste and manners are offensive. It is not only the personal touch that makes this likeness, but the exchange of ideas. By the interchange of thought and expression all become to a great extent one, each giving to the other something of himself and receiving to himself of the other. What is true of personal friendships is also true of book friendships. If I choose only the books that I like to read, and after a while give you a list of those books, you can know, though you never see me face to face, just what kind of person I am, just how my thoughts run, and what I admire most in people and things. And if I habitually choose books that I believe would be the best for me, and read them carefully until I understand them and make their thoughts my own, I will in time become like those books in thought, and will be lifted out of the rut I naturally would have run in. When a girl chooses her friends, she should as much as possible select those who will be a help to her. If she chooses the quiet, modest, sincere, earnest girls for her friends, she will become like them. But if her friends are mostly the thoughtless, giddy kind, though she had been a reasonably sensible girl in the beginning, she will soon be as her companions. So it is with books. If a girl will choose her books from those whose ideals are high and whose language is pure and clean, unconsciously she will mold her life like to those portrayed in the books she reads. But if her book friends are the giddy, impure, unchaste kind, you may be certain that the girl will become like them. I have heard the assertion that to go to any girl's bookcase and their study for a little while, the books she reads, will give to one a true estimate of that girl's character. And I believe this is in the main, true. If a girl is interested in history, she may have at her command the works of educated men who have made history a special study. And there she may seek out just what they have learned on the particular point that interests her. If she is interested in science, medicine, art, chemistry, music, or business, in books she can find the thoughts and conclusions of those who have made these a life study. Every girl likes in one way or another the social side of life. By going to the proper kind of authors she may get glimpses of and even come into intimate acquaintance with the lives of the purest and noblest of earth. She can, through her book friends, converse with people of the highest and noblest ideals. Or she may seek out those whose lives are foul and bitter and enter with them into their dark deeds, smudging her young heart with the worst sins of the world. I believe every girl would be able to choose rightly if, when she begins a book, she would ask herself these questions. Would I like to read this book aloud to my mother? Would I feel honored in intimately knowing the people of this book in real life? Would pure society approve of the conduct of these story-people? Can I profitably make my life pattern after the ideals I here find? Would the reading of this book help me to better serve my Lord? If these questions can be answered in the affirmative, then she may safely read the book. But if not, even though the book is very enticing, let her put it away, for it is poison. The reading of love stories in which the lovers have secret meetings in dark and lonely places, embrace and caress each other, and whose acts stir the fever of romance and imagination of the reader, is very detrimental to young girls, and is good for no one. Stories of murder and crime that stir the mind with horror or excitement, or that make heroes of evil characters, are not good for the young people. It is almost as bad to read books that make you intimate with bad characters as to make personal friends of that sort of people. In both, you learn their intimate thoughts and motives, and will condone their wrongs if their personality has appealed to you. More or less, my young reader, you will be like these people whom you admire and like to read about. Light, frivolous reading brings the brain into a condition where it is almost impossible for it to grasp and hold weighty matter. When the girl who habitually reads novels undertakes to read anything that requires thought, she seems to be only uttering words, and not comprehending a thing. She will throw the book down and say, It is not interesting, and I see nothing in it. But let her keep at the heavier reading, going over and over the same paragraph or chapter till she does understand it. She will in time become able to grasp the thoughts as she reads, and if she keeps on at the deep reading, she will lose her appetite for the light stuff. It will seem chaffy and foolish to her. It will not hurt any girl to read a few stories, and in fact, if the right kind of stories are chosen, she will learn much that is useful and good through story reading. That she who wishes to become educated and make her reading a means of culture must select the greater portion of her books from those authors who deal with facts in life. Works of history, biography, and other branches of learning are good for all. Books of travel are very good, for they make one acquainted with the people of other lands. In the great field of choice, pick out those book-friends that will widen the outlook and lift up the standards of life. Books can be the greatest of blessing in the life of a girl, or they can become her curse. Which will you have them be in yours? Chapter 25 Waking of the Love Nature Love is of God. Every real woman loves. Her first love is that of the little child for its mother. Once, to lie in her mother's arms and to look up into that dear face filled all her little heart. After a while, she was conscious of her father and her brothers and sisters, and gradually they began to fill a large place in her affections. By and by her widening circle of love took in her little friends and older people who were kind to her. Until at last the school girl of ten or twelve, if her childhood had been what it should be, stood at the door of beautiful girlhood with a wealth of love in her own heart, and with just as bountiful a measure of love bestowed upon her by others. It is at this time that another love nature begins to awaken, something the little girl has heard about, but never has felt before. The cause of this awakening lies in the changes that are taking place in her body. Organs that have been asleep all these years begin now to rouse from their stupor and to stir into growth and action. Her whole body grows very rapidly and takes on a new form, and feelings and emotions are awakened and thrill her very soul. This change in the body is so rapid and it affects the disposition so greatly that the girl gets all out of harmony with herself. It is as if she should come home some evening to the very house where she had been living all the time, and, going in, should find the rugs and curtains all changed and considerable new furniture about, but nobody present to tell her what it all meant. How bewildered she would feel as she stood for a while trying to understand and how awkward and confused she would feel. At such a time she would very likely call out for her mother that she might understand the changes that had taken place in the home. Just so it is with the girl of twelve or thirteen. It is her same body, she is herself, but for reasons she cannot fathom, everything seems different. New feelings and emotions have come into her heart like new furniture, while her love for her dolls and many childish games seems to have been set back out of the way. If the girl at this time will call out to her mother for explanation and guidance, she will get along all right. But some girls turn resolutely from their mother just now, when they need her most, and get themselves into tangles that almost spoil their young lives. One of the strongest new emotions that come to furnish this house the girl is to live in is her new love nature. By this nature I mean that affection that comes between boys and girls, and which is meant in time to prepare them properly to choose a companion for life. The effects of this awakening are peculiar. The boy becomes bashful and painfully self-conscious. He feels awkward and ill at ease and has a great dread of strangers, especially if they are women or girls, keeping himself out of sight at such times as much as possible. The girl, on the other hand, is liable to be more bold, and you will see her if she is not properly guided by a wise mother, doing many things that are bold and daring. She dresses her hair in new and extravagant ways, is very particular about her dress, and studies her face to make it as beautiful as possible. All that she may be attractive and pleasing. Often she is unconscious that her attitude toward the boys has anything to do with her extreme care as to her appearance. But it has a great deal to do with it. Her new nature is waking. This new love nature wants someone to love, and is soon reaching out to find that one. But it is not wise to allow it to have its own way, or the purpose of God will be frustrated. This nature is intended to assist in the choice of a life-mate when the girl has grown older. Now it should be guarded carefully, and allowed to grow and develop until the girl is capable of loving in a true, womanly manner. It is impossible to choose understandingly for life, while yet in extreme youth, and those who are wise wait till they are older. If girls allow themselves to fancy, they are in love when they are yet very young. They will form extreme attachments, imagining they are desperately in love. Only to have this passion pass away to give place to a new fancy. Thus in a few years the store of love that should have been saved till the good time when they should have a husband and home is frittered away on this one and that, and they are left almost without ability to love. This new nature that is waking should be thought of as a beautiful plant given to God to be protected and cherished till it has become large and strong. If you had a delicate house-plant that was meant to be handled carefully and kept from the wind and heat, would you not be foolish to carry it out with you exhibiting it to everyone you met, letting it fill the hot sun, the sharp wind, and even the bitter cold? Your plant would either soon die entirely or be stunted and never become perfect in beauty. So it is with this new nature within you. If it is kept carefully as a sacred trust, it will grow into strong, warm affection that will be a rich store of joy and happiness for you by and by. But if brought out now and allowed to go to this one and that one, it will wear itself away and lose its warmth and ardor. Mary Wells often felt that her life was made hard because she was not allowed to go into young company as Bessie Wilson did. They were about the same age, neither of the girls being yet sixteen. Mary was treated as a little girl and that she seldom was allowed out at night, never went with the boys, was kept regularly in school, and was referred to as Mr. Wells' little daughter. Bessie, on the other hand, dressed like a young woman, was often out to parties and theaters, had a sweetheart, and passed among the older girls as one of them. In school Mary was ahead of Bessie, who was just ready to quit because she was tired of school and had so little time for it. Papa said Mary one day, I am as old as Bessie Wilson, I am in a higher class in school, and I am as tall as she is. Yet I may never do anything she does, but have to look and act like a child. When are you going to let me grow up? Mary, do you remember that lily that blossomed here in the windows so early this spring? Yes, but it is dead now. It seemed to give its whole strength to make that one blossom. It looked pretty then, but really those which blossomed at the right time were prettier, said Mary. That is just what I wanted you to remember. That lily was pretty, but it was forced along too fast, blossomed before its time and died. That is the way with many girls. They blossom before their time. I want my daughter to come to her full, mature beauty. Do you mean that Bessie is blooming too young? asked Mary. When you come to the fullness of your youth, when you are like a rose in full bloom, poor Bessie will already be fading. Mary said no more, but she watched, and her father's prophecy was true. When Mary came to the full beauty of her young womanhood, Bessie was already a disappointed young wife, with her health gone. Girls who are guided properly through the age of first love are reserved and careful. It is not always easy for a girl to submit to the advice of mother and father, to keep out of the social world, to remain a little girl, to dress modestly and act as quietly as she should. But every girl who will bring herself into obedience now will have much to be thankful for in coming years. At no time in a girl's life does she need her mother's oversight, as in those years when the love-nature is waking, and new experiences are crowding in upon her. A girl should not go out alone with boy-company, nor should she be one of a crowd of boys and girls out at night or off on a long hike or ride, unless they are properly chaperoned. All these safeguards about a girl are like a wall of protection to her. "'You act as though you cannot trust me,' said one girl, because her mother insisted that during these years she should be carefully guarded. "'I do trust you, daughter, but I would not have you placed in a position in which I could not personally vouch for your conduct, if any questions should come up. You are not old enough to be safe in relying wholly on your own judgment.' Generally when a girl has passed her sixteenth birthday, she begins to see things more clearly, is not so broken up in her nature, and possibly begins to understand what a blessing her mother's care has been to her. If she is a girl of ordinarily good judgment, she will in another year or two begin to look at things from the standpoint of a young woman, not with the excited eyes of a child. CHAPTER XXVI OF BEAUTIFUL GIRLHOOD This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. BEAUTIFUL GIRLHOOD by Mabel Hale CHAPTER XXVI BOYFRIENDS DISCRETION SHALL PRESERVE THEE. UNDERSTANDING SHALL KEEP THEE. It is a strange experience in the life of any girl when she begins to realize that there is a difference in the way she feels toward boys and girls. While she enjoys being with her girlfriends, she seems to also enjoy the company that includes a few boys. When she was bit ten, she could be her happiest, with never a boy about. And if they did come and wish to join in her play with the girls, she felt angry about it. She said they were always teasing and tormenting, and the girls were better off with the boys away. Now, since she is in her teens, this attitude changes. Before marriageable age, the girl should be friendly to all, but serious with none. Her friendship with boys should be frank and open with nothing in it lover-like. Social gatherings in her home should be without courtship and pairing up of boys and girls. Some social gatherings are in place if they are conducted in a spiritual atmosphere and if older persons are present. When boys and girls in their early and middle teens begin to think of themselves as sweethearts, they are getting on a footing that is not good. At that age, neither of them has been awakened in the affections to know what they are about. The feelings they have are immature, though they may be the beginning of true love. Generally, these romances are not permanent, and sometimes they are foolish. The wise girl avoids all such sentimental attachments and is contented with a hearty friendship. Good times that are spoiled by proper chaperoning are to be condemned. I know sometimes it seems as though parents think their children will never grow up and keep looking after them till they are entirely through their teens, but in every case it is all the better for the young people. It is right that the girls should have opportunity for a pleasant social life, and parents will give them the opportunity as far as they are able. But if a girl can have jolly, frank friendship with her boy acquaintances, such as is open to every girl in school, and yet keep herself from forming any sentimental attachments, then she will have a chance to know boys as they are. She can see their faults and virtues in their true light. She can notice the difference between the boys who smoke and those who do not, between those who are coarse and vulgar in their speech and manners, and those who are pure and clean, between those who respect women and girls and always treat them with deference and those who do not. And seeing these differences she can form her ideals of manhood and nobility. Girls have more influence with boys than they often realize. A boy who is rough and rowdy in the presence of one girl will be gentlemanly when with another girl, all because of the girl. If she is boisterous and will laugh at his silly and offensive remarks he will act on that level. But when he is with a girl who never smiles at that which is rude and vulgar, who is always quiet and modest in her way, he will act as he knows pleases her. He may seem to have the better time with the first girl, but he respects the other girl more. No girl is doing herself justice if she allows the boys any familiarities with her. She can so conduct herself that they will not be taking liberties. Girls should not scuffle with the boys, nor allow them to put their arms about them, to kiss them, nor to hold hands with them. Kissing games are foolish and harmful. It is not the proper thing for girls to be seeking, nor too ready to receive, compliments from the boys. Be reserved and careful, and though you do not seem to be so popular as the forward giddy girl who is always cutting up with the boys, you will have the respect of the best boys and young men, and she will not. If girls could always wait till the Lord would reveal who the right one was for them instead of having sweethearts and trying to choose for themselves, they would often save themselves from doing foolish and silly things. It is not best for a girl to seek to be what is sometimes called a good pal with the boys. Being interested most in boys' games and doings. Men and boys expect women and girls to be different from themselves, and when they find one who is always aping their ways and manners and activeness if they were trying to be one of them, it cheapens that girl and sex in the boys' eyes. We do not like the sissy boy nor the womanish man, nor do they want us to act manish. A girl can be a good friend and an interested comrade with her brother and his boyfriends, without in the least making herself common. Chapter 27 The Girl Who Can Be Trusted I have chosen the way of truth. A girl who can be trusted. What a treasure she is. What a strength of character she has for her young life's beginning if she has learned to keep her word exactly, to be trustworthy. But not every girl is naturally trustworthy. Many have to learn through bitter experience that it is better to be true to one's word, to stand by a promise, to be obedient when out of sight and hearing of those over her, than to choose a different path and take it secretly. It was a scene not to be forgotten by any of the three. The mother sat directly in front of the fire, its faint flickers showing the troubled lines on her face. The father sat at her left hand. His face set sternly, for he was a man to resent the actions of any one who brought anxiety to that dear face beside him. At her right, in a little huddled heap, was the young daughter. She had just passed her fourteenth birthday, and she was as troubled and in as great a turmoil as many another girl of that age has found herself. She had been taking things into her own hands and having good times that had come about through deception. But the owl-like eyes of her mother, who like many other mothers, seemed to see what was done entirely in the dark, had found out all the winding paths she had taken, and now the escapades were to be laid bare before her father. She dreaded the ordeal, and already was beginning to see that deception in all its results was a very unhappy road to follow. Mother began to speak, while she glanced sadly at the girl beside her, for she pityed Laura very much. Laura, I have asked father to talk with us this evening, because I feel that we must have his advice and help in our present complexities. I am going to tell him what our difficulties are, tell him exactly what has happened, beginning back a few weeks, so that he can understand what has led up to our present trouble. I will tell it just as I think it is, and I want you to listen closely, and if I am not telling it as you know it to be, speak up. For we want father to understand clearly, so that he can judge rightly. I want to be absolutely fair with you, child. I would not lay one ounce of flame on you that does not belong there, so be free to speak if I make any mistake. Laura sank her head a little lower on her breast as her mother was speaking, and both the parents felt deep pity for her. It was not going to be easy to lay everything bare before even as kind of judge as her father. Slowly then the mother began telling the whole thing. Laura's willfulness, her small and greater deceptions, her sawsiness and anger when faced with evidences of these deceptions, her promises to do better, all broken, and at last the escapade that had brought about the present crisis. The girl had thus far interrupted but once or twice, and then only to clear up some minor point. I gave her permission to spend the afternoon away from home a couple of days ago, and she returned just when I expected her, and reported the good times she had had, even giving some of the details of their games. But to my surprise I have learned that she was not where I thought she was at all, that had spent the time with a crowd of young people like herself, gating about. I have investigated as far as I can, and I find no evidence that she has done anything disgraceful or unladylike during the afternoon. But the fact that she was not where I thought she was, that she tried to deceive me when she came home by falsehoods of what had happened during the afternoon, and that when I began to face her with evidences of her deception, she actually told more untruths to cover her fault, proves that she has not been trustworthy. I feel that all my props are gone, and that I must hold her in the right path by my own force of will. I do not feel that she is really trying to help me. Father, this is the way it looks to me, and I want Laura to understand it. While a girl is young, she is liable to do many things that are not wise, because of her lack of judgment. But if she will be obedient to her parents in a few points, that she will go exactly where they say she may, and not off somewhere else, and will tell the truth just as it is when asked about occurrences while she is out, then they can be a guard for her. They will know at all times just where she is and what she is doing, or has done. Then, if any question comes up as to her conduct, they can give an answer to all who would censor her. But if the girl will not go where she promises to go, and is away somewhere else, out of their knowledge, or if she will not tell the truth when asked about what has happened, then she places herself where her parents can be no protection to her. Now, while I can easily believe that Laura went nowhere and acted in no way that might be a reproach in the eyes of the world, the fact yet remains that if any evil tale should be started about her behavior, no matter how vile the tale might be, my testimony would add to her shame. For even in court I should have to say that I did not know where she was, that she deceived me and told me untruths. Can we afford? Can she afford? To have things thus. I confess that this is the most serious matter that I have ever faced in Laura's training. I must have help in some way to get this to her. Laura, as mother told this just as it is, asked her father. Yes, sir, I think she has, so far as I could see, answered she. Then followed question after question until the father was satisfied in his own heart that his wife had searched the thing to the bottom. Have you asked God to help you, Laura, in doing right? He asked. No, I have thought I could behave myself if I tried hard enough, she said. You have not been trying very hard, I fear. Now, Laura, we will have no more of this sort of thing. If you can behave by yourself very well, I think you ought to ask God's help, but be that as it may, I give you one more chance to prove yourself. If you cannot master yourself, I will take a greater hand in it, for we will have the victory over this deceptive way. You must be true, and you can be. I will, Father. I promise you that nothing like this will ever happen again, and you may depend upon me. There was a note in Laura's voice, now so free from sauciness and anger, so full of humility and purposes, that gave her parents hope. Come here, Laura, said her father, tears in his eyes as he saw her meekness. She rose and went to his side. He drew her into his arms, and sitting there on his knee with her head on his shoulder, she listened while he told her of all that she meant to his life and to her mother's. Of the hopes and prayers that were wrapped about her, and how grieved they were at her fault. But that now they believe she meant to do better, to be a girl who could be trusted. I will, Father. I will, and I will prove to you that I can be true. She sobbed earnestly with her arms about his neck. Then let us pray and ask God to bless and help us all, the father said. After prayer she kissed her parents and went to her room, with a purpose born of a new insight into trustworthiness. Her lesson was not forgotten, and she became what she purposed in her heart to be—a girl who could be trusted.