 You have started a new relationship and your partner seems perfect. They lavish you with gifts, stay in touch, and profess their love to you almost daily. Seems like the start of a fairy tale. Right? Unfortunately, this fairy tale may not be all it's cracked up to be. The gifts may be getting more expensive. The 24-7 check-ins may be becoming increasingly overwhelming and your partner never really gives you any space. These could be signs that you are being love-bombed. What is love-bombing? Licensed counselor and professor at Northern Illinois University, Suzanne Decks-White describes love-bombing as the practice of overwhelming someone with signs of adoration and attraction, which can be used to win over your trust and affection so that the abuser can meet a goal of theirs. Being observant and aware can help you avoid being love-bombed. So here are some telltale signs to look out for. It's always your birthday! Kinda. Does your partner surprise you with expensive gifts and weekend getaways? Do you feel obligated to accept these gifts or go on these trips? Getting gifts from a friend or partner is normal for your birthday, anniversary, or other special occasions. But when the gifts keep coming regularly, this may be a sign of love-bombing. According to the licensed therapy and founder of Messy Authentic Counseling, Halen Sapiensky, when a partner gives you gifts that feel over the top and lets you know how expensive they are, that's a love-bomb. Think back to the last time your grandma or aunt got you something. They brag about how they got it on sale and what a steal it was, right? This brag of how much they spent is their way of saying they love you more because they paid more. This is also a manipulative ploy that creates a sense of obligation in their partner or guilts you into staying with them even when the relationship takes a turn for the worse. The text-aholic. Does your partner bombard you daily with texts and calls saying how much they love you and get mad when you fail to respond immediately? Do they need to know where you are at all times? As a licensed marriage and family therapist, Dr. Amy E. Keller points out, it feels great when a new potential love interest starts sexting you or bombard you with texts, calls, and flowers, but when texts and calls become increasingly overwhelming, that's a red flag. In her previously mentioned article, Dex White advises readers to be on the lookout for text messages that increase in frequency or intensity because these are often designed to manipulate you into spending more time with the love bomber and less time with friends, family, and yourself. Now keep in mind, this is different for every couple. Some couples can talk and text all day, then be with each other all night, which works for them. It's only love bombing when you are not comfortable with the high level of communication. The Katy Perry. Does anyone remember that 2008 Katy Perry song Hot and Cold? Well, that song is literally this sign. Does your partner compliment you and then criticize you within seconds of each other? Do they have a way of lifting you up and then bringing you right back down? Board-certified psychiatrist Dr. Dale Archer says that love bombers are experts at detecting low self-esteem and exploiting, often to feel better about themselves like emotional vampires. According to the dictionary of US domestic shelters, the key to spotting love bombing is noticing that things are uncomfortably intense consistently, sometimes to the point of fear. If you're afraid of what will happen if you ask to slow down or if you end things, this might be a sign they're love bombing you. Why aren't you paying attention to me? Does your partner demand you love them above everyone else? Do they purposefully try to separate you from your family and friends and want your undivided attention? Licensed counselor and doctor of behavioral health at Banner Behavioral Health Hospital, Jeremiah Fox says love bombers will demand your attention and time ignoring your time and schedule. They may isolate you from family and friends and may become angry or make you feel guilty when you make plans with others. Imagine it's Friday night and it's one of your closest friends' birthday dinner, but your partner asks if you want to grab dinner and catch a movie. When you politely let them know you already have plans, they get very angry at you and say things like, I see if I ask you to hang out again or maybe I'll just go out alone and find someone else to find dinner with. Licensed counselor Tabitha Westbrook put it best, true love does not want all your time and energy focused on them. Love bombers do this to gain control. If your partner truly loves you, they will respect other commitments, ideas and boundaries. That doesn't work for me. Look, no one is perfect and we all have our own red flags. When you're in a relationship, you might notice some of your partner's red flags, which could turn into problems if not addressed. When you address any issues and set healthy boundaries with your partner, what happens? Do they respect you and the boundaries? Or do they turn into the Hulk on a really bad day? According to Fox, love bombers get set off easily and become defensive or abusive if criticized or challenged. They may become violent if they don't get their way. They may use controlling tactics like gaslighting to control their partners and reduce restrictions. They'll typically guilt trip their partners and paint themselves as victims because they want complete control and easy access to their partners. But establishing boundaries is a part of any healthy relationship. According to Westbrook, love bombers get upset about any boundaries that restrict access to you or you accepting their displays of love. It's like a tsunami of affection and they expect you to accept it all at once. Oh, breathing space. Copious amounts of gifts, your phone is going off when you're not with them and when you're not in school or work, you're expected to be with them. If you feel overwhelmed, it's normal. It can be hard to say no to the person we love and even harder to recognize when that person is not right for us. But if you are constantly feeling overwhelmed or anxious with your partner present, it may be time to move on. Archer says that love bombing works because humans have a natural need to feel good about who we are and often we can't feel this need on our own. That's why giving yourself space and trusting your intuition is so important. Yes, love bombing works because we often need others to feel validated. But that's why it's so important to remind yourself that you are valid with or without anyone else telling you so. A small part of us wants to be a showered with love and affection from time to time. But when that adoration turns into a 24-7 show, that can make things toxic or dangerous pretty fast. Do you recognize these signs from a previous or current relationship? Do you know someone who may be being love-bombed? Westbrook says it's important to be attuned to your intuition so you can be informed instead of being carried away by love bombing tactics. If your intuition tells you something is wrong in your relationship, please consider reaching out to a professional or loved when you trust. Thanks so much for watching and don't forget to like and subscribe and we'll see you next time.