 is a God of faithfulness. He is always faithful. In fact, he can't be anything but faithful. So no matter what you're going through today, you can have hope today. Hey, that's a name. That's a good name for a show, right? Hope today. This is Hope Today. I'm Tom. This is Sydney and Amy. And we're just saying God is faithful all the time He is with you no matter what you're going through. And we're gonna talk a little bit more about that, Amy. Yeah, today we are going to break down what's left you feeling broken. We're going to break away from the pain of the past and we are going to break through to the promises of the future. But really it all depends on you. In her new book, Christian Bavir, Break Up With What Broke You. So I'm just praying today that we will dive into this. We're talking shame, regret, the past. It's a great time, Sydney, to rewrite our stories. This is one of my favorite topics is because God is near to the brokenhearted. And I feel it is so important that when, especially as Christians that we dive in deep, we look at the traumas, we look at the things that may have hurt us, the things that are keeping us stuck so we can be uprooted and walk in the fullness of God. And speaking of brokenness, I know, Tom, we wanna take a moment to talk about the tragedy that happened in Maine because you have a personal connection of what happened. Yeah, I mean, I've been to Lewis to Maine many times and my sister-in-law and her husband live probably less than two miles from where this happened right across the river in Auburn, Maine. And so I've been up in that area. And so in case you don't know, there was a shooting in a bar bowling alley kind of area in Lewiston, Maine that the count is now up to about 20 lives that have been taken and the shooter is still on the loose. They have not apprehended him yet. So we just need to pray into this situation. It's truly scary. I mean, I know I saw like reports that were breaking out. I got alerts on my phone saying the police and authorities were saying, stay in your home, lock your doors. So definitely wanna keep like Maine in prayer. I mean, and just honestly, like I think when we hear these senseless tragedies that happened, Amy, it's hard for us to fathom but we know that God is even in the midst of that and just that spirit of fear would be broken and justice would be served. And that man wherever he is, that he would be captured. Absolutely. It's like watching a bad dream over and over. It's unbelievable that this is in the hearts of any man or any woman to take the life of another. And honestly, we're still like in shock and trauma from all that's happening in Israel and Gaza and Palestine. So I mean, I know that on earth, it's not perfect. This is not the Garden of Eden. There is sin on the earth. There's evil. And I mean, we just have to pray. We have to keep faith. We have to keep hope. And we should pray that number one, that that killer murderer is caught in Jesus' name. Why don't we do that? Why don't you pray together with us? I'll lead us in prayer and we'll commit this to the Lord. Father, we just pray right now for the people of the Lewiston, Maine Lord that you would be bringing hope and comfort and healing to them, Lord. And I pray, as Amy just said that this perpetrator would be captured and taken into custody, Lord. And we just pray in the name of Jesus that you would bring hope into that situation. This is evil. And as Amy has said, it's kind of a relentless evil that always seems to reveal itself. But Lord, we know that you are able to bring hope. You are able to bring healing in that situation. And we ask that you do it today and protect everyone around there. Protect my family that's in that area, Lord. Protect the people of that area. And I pray that that fellow is apprehended quickly in Jesus' name, amen. Amen. Regret and shame. Those are two words that can linger in the hearts of many of us, especially when it refers to our past. Our next guest has dealt with these issues herself. And she says freedom can be found through the one who is greater than all of our mistakes. Christian Bavir is an author and her new book called Breakaway with What Broke You. She joins us now to share how God can redeem and rewrite anyone's story. Christian, welcome to Hope Today. Amy, thank you so much for having me. I kind of wish Tom was holding my pink book. I think it just would have worked great with his stoic statue. But I'm so happy to join you guys this morning. Bavir, we haven't heard that name before. You know, I think you have because you actually pronounced it right. It doesn't always happen that way. Well, and John and Lisa are dear and precious to us here at Cornerstone Television. But their amazing daughter-in-law has written a book. You're so real, you're so honest. When I think about breakups, it kind of triggers something in my junior high years, that first breakup and your heart is just like, you just think you're not gonna get it back in one piece. What do you mean by breakup in this book? Yeah, well, that's exactly what the title was supposed to do. It was supposed to transport you back to a time where you know, I probably needed to end this thing in my life earlier, but something within me wanted to cling on despite the feelings of knowing this isn't the best for me, despite the painful feelings that accompanied it. But there takes a point in a moment where we have to say, is this serving me and is it enabling me to serve God? You know, I'm a recent mom and even just with a one-year-old, something within my mom's wisdom has risen. And I think mother discernment is very, very real. And I remember times in high school where my mom would say, that's not the best relationship for you. That's not the best friend. I was like, oh, what, you know, what do you know, mom? You don't know them. She was right. And I think there's so many times where God will do that for us. It's like, hey, Amy, this isn't serving you. This isn't my best for you. But sometimes when we are entertaining shame or regret, comparison insecurity, we find these earthly things that we think, well, if I can just have that or this will just numb the pain for a little bit. But in the long run, God has so much more freedom. He has so much more peace in our lives as readily available. He's walked me through that. And like you said, I am a firm believer that He has that opportunity waiting for us all and just advocating for young women and men also to say, let's take this bold step, break up with the things that are not serving us so we can walk in God's best. One of the things that you suggest that we break up with is shame and regret and every human being has mistakes or regrets. And shame is just like a constant thing waiting there to jump in your mind and in your heart. How do we silence shame and regret? Yeah, you're so right. And shame has actually become more of a hype word lately. Part of me is glad for that because I know what those feelings feel like. And part of me is also wanting to tell people, hey, don't just see that as a hot topic. What does that mean for you? What have you carried that reminds you of shame? And I like to coin the phrase that shame is an inability to separate what we've done from who we are. And if we think about that, that means we're taking on all of our sins, all of our mistakes and saying like, God, this is who you made me to be. This person that is just disgraceful to you. It's kind of like the prodigal son analogy. I'm lesser than, I'm no good to enter your courts, but his lavish love welcomes us back and actually redeems us, reclokes us in beauty and in splendor. And I think we need to break up with that so we can fully run to him, not head down at arm's length, but fully embracing all that he has for us and a practical way to break up with that. I go at length in the book and I really encourage anyone to listen, listening to go get it because it's very much a peer to peer, hey, I've been there, we can do this together. But a practical step is to first identify what are those things that is breaking me? What are the areas in my life that I keep discounting myself and pushing people away because I just think my sin and my shame is too dark for anyone to touch and no one wants to see me? If we can identify those, we can break up with them because you can't break up with someone you don't know. You have to first call them by name, have the awkward conversation and the same is true with our shame. We have to identify it so we can break up with it. How do people identify it? I mean, what if, you know, to thine own self be true? What if they just don't see it or they can't recognize it? How would you suggest that they go about, like pinpointing it and identifying it? Because you're right, we can't get the victory if we don't know what our fight is with. So true. Yeah, and oftentimes you won't be able to identify it right away. I mean, if we talk about the complexities within this issue of it is childhood trauma, things that happen to us and that were not of our choice, sometimes those painful memories can either be guided by our subconscious and our psyche or it just is so painful, we don't want to go there. So I think the best route is starting small. So just saying, okay, God, I'm open to this. David posture of search my heart, highlight things to me. Maybe it is just, oh, well, I talked to my husband in a way this morning that I didn't want to. Why is that God show me how to heal from it? That's very much when I was engaged, I began to notice things and through that journey of just being open to God teaching me and clarifying things in my heart, it led to unweaving and realizing, oh, this is why I felt less and this is where my shame and my regret is coming from and why I feel the need to compare or strive or try to be a perfectionist, right? Like it kind of is a court, a court we have to unravel. But just one piece at a time, I don't think we have to get it all right today, but it's more a heart posture of being open, being willing. And I think God is faithful and a gentleman to expose it and rectify it and purify it in a way that is very much a walk with him. It's not all on our own and we're not alone in this process. Christian, one of the things I love about our Lord is how he restores and redeems our past and makes us into the who we were meant to be. Can you explain that, unpack that a little bit? How does he rewrite our story? How did he rewrite your story? Oh, goodness, you're right, Tom. He's just so good and he's so merciful to take what we in ourselves discredit and think that this is the final. My mistake is, for me personally, I had relationships and I was just not good at relationships. I wasn't my true self. I wasn't honoring, wherever the term can go for whoever's listening. And I just at one point I said, God, I need you to teach me how to do relationships. And when I met my now husband and there's a funny moment where we were talking and I threw my phone back in my car and I said, God, you know that I'm not good at relationships. This is a great man. I do not wanna do anything unless you were in it. So I need you to walk me through this step by step. And I saw how he redeemed my heart. He redeemed how I received and gave love. He redeemed purity. He redeemed intentions. He redeemed so much in the sense of, it's not just everything in our past goes away. I think sometimes we wish that, right? Like there's just a time machine analogy, but what God does is he says I'm bigger than your past. I've seen your worst mistakes and I've loved you at your darkest hour. Let me show you how big my love is that it can show you how to heal. It can show you how to conquer new land. It can show you how to have a healthy marriage, a healthy family, a healthy mental health. And it's unlike anything I've ever seen. It's unlike anything I've ever tried. I know in society today, we think of just going to counseling, which I think is great for anyone listening or turning to a substance or turning to striving for the career. But none of these things offer the freedom and purpose that is found in the Lord. And I'm so incredibly thankful for that. And that's why I wrote this book to show people, hey, there is a way that is actually true where your heart can be healed, your future can be restored and it's only through Christ. There's a scripture in Proverbs 28, 13. It says, whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper. But he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. Christian, is that an important scripture in your journey? Yes, I mean, there's no scripture that's not important, right? But in my journey, I've seen this be true. I've seen the times where I wanted to fix myself or just keep striving. And one day when I'm clean enough, I'm good enough Christian, then I can come to God. No, it was actually in the identifying and the repenting of what I've done that actually led to my breakthrough. And it was this idea of once I confessed and renounced, I found the freedom to say, I no longer identify with those. Those are no longer a foothold in my life, but I'm going to throw those off and run to Christ. I think of also limitations 214 and it's talking about this idea of these false prophets that were just like giving kind words to people and saying like, oh God loves you, you know, all this, but they weren't actually exposing the things in the people's lives that we're breaking them down and keeping them from God. And in our heart of hearts to be kind and loving to ourselves and to others, I think we can miss this very important truth that is actually in the truth and love, the righteousness and kindness that we lead to the ability to pinpoint and identify things and say like, this is not me. I need to renounce this sin. We need to sharpen each other and say this no longer serves you my friend and say, what is God's way of righteousness? What has he called us to do? And not stray from that path. And that's often the hardest part, you know, the breakup is so messy because we have to detach from the things that we've been serving, the things that we've loved and come back to the heart of the Father. So this is probably the hardest step in the journey is the first step, but from there we just find more and more freedom available to us and we come to the light, we renounce what was darkness in our life and we just see God move through that, through that posture of surrender. And that's how we get rid of shame and regret. I like how in your book you referenced a couple of great women of God, Rahab and Abigail, just to name a few, what did they have to break up with to get the breakthrough in life? Well Abigail quite literally had to break up with her husband at the time. He was just a man that wasn't following the ways of the Lord and he actually was contradictory to David who was king at the time. And so Abigail had to break up with fear and anxiety. She had to say, am I gonna be so scared of what could happen to me that I'm not courageous enough to fight for me and the people that are under me. And she made an outlandish attempt to get back in David's good graces and it led to her quite literally getting in David's good graces and she became one of his wives. And then we see Rahab who had to break up with what are people gonna think of me? What is society saying to do? And she went so counter-cultural to what the norm was and even what her position was. At the time she was nothing but a lowly prostitute as the Bible says. And she came to this point of, I don't care who I am at this moment. I don't care what the norm is around me. I know that God has put a favor over these men and I'm gonna serve that no matter what happens to me. And so we see her life literally redeemed through that act. And so these women of valor encouraged to say, what is God calling me to? Who is God in this situation? Despite where I've been, despite who I've been, this is who God is. And that's what I'm gonna partner my actions and my intentions and my values with. Christian, what if we don't break up with regret, shame, comparison, what happens? I think those two continue and they only amplify. I think that shame and regret are snowball effects where we can take the very instance that caused them, but then we act out of character and it causes us to heath on more instances where we're not being ourselves. We're not being authentic to who God called us to be. I know that for me is shame has a way that it veers where we feel shame inside. It comes out the way we act among others and we act to our family and our friends and people on our church. It's just this tendency to try to be this persona of, okay, well, what would a good Christian do? Or I think these people think I'm just a terrible person. So I have to overcompensate and we're not truly acting in our true character. And the problem with that is God has put facets of himself and us and gives us ways to glorify him uniquely through our talents, through our speech, through our hearts. But if we're not in line with that and acting out of our true character, we're missing out on being the people that the Lord needs us to be, to being the hands and feet of God in an authentic way. Some people say, I might have this little thing that I'm ashamed of. It's not really changing my character. It could be a little bit or it could be a lot, but what is the benefit in staying in that realm instead of actually just saying, Lord, show me who you want me to be. And so I think the greatest pain of that is just knowing, wow, there's so much more freedom and there's so much more purpose in how God has called me to live, that I want to be completely uninhibited to thrive in that lane, to walk in my purpose fully. I don't want anything of my past, of my perceptions to taint that. I want to see, Lord, you fully on display. I want to be that clean vessel, that pure vessel just shining for you. And I'm so passionate about that. And I say it with a smile because I've seen the difference in my own life of how I acted, despite good intentions, despite even going to church at the time and how I can walk freely now, how more evident the Lord's voice is and how sharply he says, no, that's not who you are. No, that's not where I've called you. This is who you are and this is who I've called you to be. And it's most freeing and edifying thing of ever experienced. I believe that there are women and men that really want to experience that same freedom that you're talking about right now. Can you take a minute and can you just pray for those that need to have breakups in their life so that they can see the breakthrough? Absolutely. Lord, we just thank you so much. That redemption is your nature. We thank you that you've not discredited a single one of your sons and daughters and you are not about to now, Lord. I thank you for the men and women that are saying, Lord, I want more of you in my life and less of my past. I want my future to be written by you and where you are the key. Highlight, Lord. And I just pray for the wisdom and the courage to break up with anything that has inhibited them. Even things that they might not know yet, Lord, in your goodness, will you guide them? Will you show us? Will you identify the things that we need to leave behind? We need to leave that as less so we can embrace your more and we thank you for every good and perfect thing that is from you that you have put in front of us. And we ask just for the keen insight to be able to walk into those. And Lord, we thank you for what you're doing on this earth. We thank you that you're raising your sons and daughters and you are just strengthening your kingdom here on earth so we can glorify you. Thank you, Lord. Amen. Amen. In Christian's book, she says he can take your broken heart and make it whole. He can take your broken hopes and give them a second chance. Your brokenness doesn't define you when Christ defends you. Thank you so much, Christian. Thank you, Amy, Sydney, and Tom. It was great to be with you. Great. Stay with us because when we return in 60 seconds, we will provide you with a word of encouragement for anyone who is struggling to find freedom from their past. We'll be right back. Cornerstone Television exists because of the faithful support of our partners. Thanks to you, we get to proclaim the good news of Jesus, both locally and around the world. All this month is our way of saying thanks. We are offering this beautiful and inspirational 16-month calendar for your best gift to CTVN. This special Israel calendar, 75th anniversary edition, celebrates 75 years of modern Israel as a nation. Each month, you'll enjoy a new and beautiful feature of the Holy Land. You'll be blessed to see places in the Bible come alive. This 16-month calendar runs from September 2023 to December 2024 and has plenty of space for writing your daily activities. Request the special Israel calendar, 75th anniversary edition as our thank you gift when you give to CTVN today. To give, call 888-665-4483 or go to ctvn.org slash donate. Hope happens here. We're glad you're joining us for Hope today and we just wrapped up our conversation with Christian Brevere and you just saw just moments ago that spot of how you can partner with us and link arms with us because when you give to Cornerstone Telstra Network, we're able to provide this message, this vehicle of hope today. And as Christian was just speaking, something that God spoke in my spirit and just reminded me of a scripture, we're talking about brokenness that God says in the book of Psalms that he loves a broken and a contrite spirit. And I think a lot of times when it comes to our brokenness, when it comes to our pain, a lot of us like to anesthetize our pain. We like to kind of numb our pain. We like to say, oh, I'm blessed and highly favored. Oh, I got it all together. I'm good, but you're not. And I think it is so important in these seasons that you have to investigate within yourself, that you have to look deep within to uproot those things that are holding you bound. You know, I've been very open on this program and show about something of my own personal pain, my own personal trauma of going through sexual trauma as a young girl. And it wasn't until I was an adult that I started realizing how much it had me bound, how much it affected me, how much it trapped me, how much it was changing my thinking. And it wasn't until I really was like a pastor told me like you need to get help. It was not until I decided that I'm gonna go to therapy. It wasn't until I really came before the throne room of God and laid it down that I began to see God do such a deep work in me, in my spirit. And sometimes he has to break us down even further, get us to the end of ourselves, where we have to cry out in pain, where we have to say, God, can you take it? God, I'm gonna lay this all at the altar. And that's when his presence come in. That's when he has people come over in your life that'll speak life over into you. And so today, if you're walking through something that is so painful, maybe it's your marriage is falling apart, maybe it's your children, whatever it may be, just know we are here for you. And you can give us a call at our prayer line at 888-665-4483, because our heart for you is to find wholeness, to have that shalom, that peace of God, and it only comes when you have an encounter with Jesus and when you're allowing others to love on you, to pour on you, and to speak the life and truth and live, love you back to life. Tom, what are your thoughts? You know, we mentioned in that conversation a couple biblical characters, and one of them was Rahab. And Rahab, think of where she was. Think of who she was. Think of at the lowest level of society, a prostitute looked down upon, hated by the people around that territory. Look down on by the respectable people, mocked and in a profession that everyone would say, that's awful, but God intervened in her story. And she took the step of welcoming the spies. She took the step of understanding where God was in that story, and she's commended in the hall of faith for it in Hebrews, thousands of years later, God has not done writing your story, and he wants to write a new chapter in your story, and he wants to take the shame and the pain and those things from your past that we all have. Everyone at varying degrees has something in there that they feel shame about or that they did wrong themselves and need to have a healing from that. We all need healing. God is able to heal you. Don't say, I'm just always been this way. No, Rahab's probably thought that too, but God changed her story. Well, I believe that Rahab is in the lineage of Jesus Christ. The great, great, great grandmother, maybe I have to reread it again. But like, don't let a moment in life or a major setback or a major disappointment be the final chapter, like don't camp there. Let God work on your story. There's chapter seven, eight, nine, 10. You know, so many people say to my husband, you gotta write a book about raising a strong-willed daughter. And we're like, listen, the final chapter is being written right now. We're not gonna write it too early. We're letting God work on our story. So don't try to force things before their time. And honestly, I mean, from our message yesterday with real talk, Kim, she said, you gotta get up. And then today it's like, you gotta break up with what broke you. I mean, I think, I'm not the sharpest tool in this. God might have a message for us today. Let's get up. Let's do the work of redemption and sanctification. Let's let God all in to every part of our story. You know, it's important to let him in. And you know, one of the things I think sometimes we have this idea that we wanna microwave our healing and microwave our deliverance, but can I tell you it's a process? And so sometimes he will allow you to be in the refiner's fire for a moment. And so maybe that's you today. That is sometimes the getting up is allowing the Holy Spirit to come within you so that you will know the truth of who you are. God wants to release you from your shame. God wants to release you from your pain. God wants to release you from those shackles and those things that kept you bound. And the most important thing is that you know that he is with you in the fire. He loves you and he's gonna redeem you and store you so you can become whole like never before. Have a great day. On tomorrow's Hope Today, discover how obedience to God is the key to lasting, meaningful joy. Author Kelly C. Miller encourages you to pursue a life of obedience and surrender, which will unlock the fulfillment of being able to live a deeply joyful Christian life. That's tomorrow on Hope Today. Cornerstone Television wishes to thank all our faithful viewers, whose consistent prayers and financial support have made this program possible.