 Hello everybody, welcome to esoteric Atlanta. My name is Bryce. Of course right now. I am still up in Connecticut But nonetheless, we're gonna push forward with our reading in our study of the Magdalene manuscript This is part 80. This section is gonna be a little bit shorter today than most as you guys know I am dividing this book into smaller sections and what they the writer has this book divided into just so you can Take the time to really integrate the teachings I do apologize if you hear some noises around me There is some yard work going on outside and I have a cute little dog that you might hear her clicking around The dining room as I record this but anyway, if you're new to the channel welcome. I'm so happy you're here I would suggest you starting with part one I will put the playlist called understanding the Magdalene that has all the parts to the Magdalene manuscript It also contains all the parts of Megan Waterston's book on Mary Magdalene, which we started this we started with and also This would be a code which we have just completed All right, so let's get into the Magdalene manuscript part 80. This is the alchemy of relationship Many of us do relationships the way we play poker We do everything possible to get the upper hand and if that fails we bluff We pretend to hold cards. We don't have we cheat we lie and while this is the model for many Relationships in our post-modern era. It is not the model for its sacred relationship as described in the manuscripts Let me be very upfront here sacred relationship is not for everyone In fact, I suspect there are far fewer persons capable or even willing to undertake it And there are those who prefer to play emotional card games This type of relationship demands utmost honesty both with oneself and with one's partner Instead of hiding our cards We lay them out on the table all our hopes all our fears all of our petty and jealous thoughts all our Covenings all of it to get laid out in the clear light of awareness for who for our partner to see and He or she must do the same It will not work if there are any back doors unlocked with mental escapes in mind It will not work if both partners are not absolutely impeccably honest with each other And the reason for this radical type of honesty is that without it the alchemy of relationship cannot take place Now this may be a new term to many even students of internal alchemy Since the dynamics of internet relationship are rarely discussed in the four major alchemical streams egyptian Taoism yoga tantra and Buddhist tantra So I think it might be a good to define what I mean here and to lay some type of foundation Like all types of alchemy this type of work is about changing one form into another The form in this case is the inner dynamics that have become habitual between two people And after a while people tend to get into ruts The liveliness that existed at the beginning of relationship against a fade the honeymoon period Both people become more or less unconscious. The harsh reality is that it takes continual Effort to keep a relationship conscious and alive Many relationships drop by the wayside because the partners are either unwilling or unable to make the efforts required to sustain them Instead of experiencing a newness of each moment within the relationship a kind of dullness seeps in over time What used to be exciting is now boring and worse a kind of psychological and emotional Lethargy sets in and both partners succumb to the dueling effects of unconsciousness This type of unconsciousness is a death kill to psychological awareness and insight and although it is rarely mentioned This type of unconsciousness has a negative effects on one's spiritual life as well So the form that needs to be changed within a relationship is literally the form of interactions that eventually takes Take place between the two partners Like all types of alchemy there must be a container for the reactions to occur And in this case it is a container of safety and appreciation that provides the reservoir for transformation If there is a lack of safety or appreciation this type of alchemy cannot be undertaken And if you have decided you wish to try this type of alchemy in your relationship I suggest you do so as an analysis first Honestly assess if you feel safety and appreciation in your relationship If you don't you will be wasting your time trying to undertake this type of alchemy with your current partner I suggest you focus your efforts instead on a solitary practice mentioned in the manuscript If you still want to give it a try get your partner to talk about these feelings of danger and lack of appreciation that you are feeling Only if and when they get resolved should you consider taking taking on this type of alchemy absolutely, I've actually really Gone into a deep place of healing for myself so that I can't be in this type of a relationship because That type of honesty starts with you being really honest with yourself first and really going and doing the shadow work And healing yourself so that you can you are in a place to put all your cards on the table for your partner or soon to be partner And unfortunately Your partner here she has to do the same thing too and if they're not willing to do the same thing and it's not going to work So he's right here So now we have two of the three elements needed for alchemy something to be transformed the habitual patterns of Interaction and the container the safety net if you will of the relationship itself A third element is needed and that is of course energy to drive this reaction There is usually plenty of energy and relationships in the form of neurotic patterns hopes fears and desires We'll get to all of those in a moment, but for now I want to talk about steel Our psychological selves are much more like swords made from still alloys They have been forged in the hot searing foundation of our childhood and the formative pressures of our early experiences It is if this early period of life that bonds the elements of our psyches together and like still this was done under immense heat and pressure Some of us were abused by overbearing or downright hostile or even destructive parents Some of us were left to our own devices without any kind of support or guidance And every kind of parental child relationship falls between these two polarities The possibilities of a childhood pressures are virtually endless And so too are the psychological owl is that result from these types of experiences There is a lot of talk about the child within and many personal growth groups And while there is certainly value in making contact with this younger self. It is not always pretty No, it's not. I've done a lot of work with that myself in trauma therapy Our cultural myth is that childhood is a time of innocence a time in which everything is right with the world For some children, this is true for many. It is definitely not for me. It is definitely not from the outside looking at My child left probably looked awesome like wealthy parents beautiful home All the toys vacations all that kind of stuff But there was definitely a lot of abuse in that house. And so for sure you never know what's happening behind closed doors I remember being a fellow therapist's house for a party quite a few months ago Most of the adults were practicing therapists psychologist psychiatrist and several clinical social workers I just plopped myself into a big oversized sofa and sipped my iced tea I noticed a remarkable event One of the therapists had brought his son and his son's best friend to the party It was clear that the two boys were bugs They were playing some kind Of car game and respectfully giving each other a turn There were no attempts at cheating and they seemed to be in a bubble of camaraderie Then the boy's father came into the room and asked both kids if they needed anything They both looked up with cherub faces and smiles. No, they said and the cutest little boy voices The father patted his son on the back and as he walked off he nonchalantly Padded his son's friend on the back as well For a moment his son looked at the incident and object horror You could see that he could not believe his eyes and then as his father turned the corner into the room His son pulled back and hit his best friend in the face This was not childhood innocence. This was childhood rage He was not willing to share the affections from his father Not even with his best friend This type of jealousy is typical of higher mammals and we are for all our self-righteousness Self-congratulatory delusions still mammals no matter how high we get spiritually We will for as long as we live share traits with our mammalian brothers and sisters The inner life of a child is often far different than those around him or her imagined it to be Surrounded by both dangers and opportunities, the psychological life of a child is directly shaped by how here she chooses to deal with them Whether it is something as life-threatening as a deranged parent or Or seemingly innocuous as to whom to go to the prom with does not in some ways matter While the impact of fighting for one's life may very well imprint a child's behavior well into adulthood The little decisions of life like who to socialize with or not also have impact All these major and minor decisions create internal psychological heat pressure The alloys of one's personality get bonded together are burned away The sword has been tempered by by the time we reach adulthood and the alloy of our personalities have been set Some of us emerge from this childhood fondry with sharp edges other others of us are blunt Some of us hold our edges and some of us can never seem to hold on to anything The thing about still is that it tends to remain in its original form once it's leave it leaves the foundry And one of the few things that could be ever reconfigured the alloy is that this still gets as hot as it did when it was first form Exactly That's why you have to get hot in your Shadowwork you have to actually physically get your body hot because that's the only way you can mold things As my teacher in the ds says the way to clean gold is to boil it Bring it to a boiling point so you can wash the impurities off heat our tapas as it's called the sanskrit tapas are ugly is Of the almost you're not doing spiritual work if you're not getting hot whether with your emotions in Therapy or on the mats sweating preferably both 100 percent And the alchemical work of sacred relationship. We voluntarily put ourselves back into the foundry Absolutely the heat that arises between two people when their neuroses rub against each other can get quite intense If both people can find the courage to be radically honest with themselves and with each other in these Searing moments the psychological alloys can be altered a new type of aliveness that enters the relationship fueled by the energy of psychological truth The thing is most of us will do almost anything to avoid psychological heat. Absolutely When we get uncomfortable many of us get the hell out of dodge Now for some of us this means literally packing up and getting out of town or at least out of sight For some of us it seems that we are psychologically present but no longer emotional and present We numb up. We become auto automatons. We move and talk almost like normal, but we have retreated far far inside Other of us numb ourselves with alcohol or drugs and some of us will do it with television We are humans We humans are after all quite clever and creative. We can find all sorts of ways to avoid facing ourselves In fact, they are far too numerous for me to list here, but I suspect you get the idea I guess the real question here is what do you do when things get psychologically too hot for you to taste? What do you do when you are on the verge of feeling something that you don't want to feel? For those in sacred relationships, that's feelings are a call to presence It is time to be radically honest and for both partners to express their true feelings No matter how embarrassing or scary they might be by speaking their truths to each other and Enlivening elements enters the dynamic Psychological honesty results in psychological insight and with insight there is hope for awareness and with awareness there can be change This chapter is hardly a manual for the alchemy of relationship. It's mainly I think a warning Magdalene alluded to this in the manuscript. She calls it Obscurations to flight That sounds wonderfully exotic, doesn't it? Well, it isn't very exotic when the Obscuration is clearly in your face and it isn't very exotic Feeling when the founder of the relationship gets so hot that you feel you are dissolving Psychologically that is it takes courage and fortitude to stay in the foundry when the heat begins to weaken the stability of one self-perceived image Few of us care to look foolish scared petty or jealous and we will often go through elaborate means to hide these feelings from ourselves and others But in sacred relationship these things invariably float to the surface like mud that has been stirred up from the bottom of the barrel The thing is to realize that this does not mean you are doing a sacred relationship wrong It means you are probably doing it right until my students at all the time if you're uncomfortable if you're pissed off You got to go throw up you're doing it right. It worked the alchemy worked As Magdalene said in the manuscript the power of the alchemy extrudes or pushes out the dross This can be fascinating when the dross is being pushed out of your partner But it's truly horrific when it excludes But it's truly horrific when it comes out of you What makes sacred relationship sacred is that it is truly a holy way of being The root of the word holy actually means to make whole So when we do something that creates wholeness in this case psychological wholeness, we are engaged in a sacred or holy act In the crucible of mutual safety Honesty and appreciation it is possible to forge a new kind of self This new self is psychologically more honest more aware and freer than its counterpart before entering the foundry of relationship And like the phoenix that rises from its own ashes. This self has queens It can fly places that could it could only imagine before There are mysteries here and treasures that await those who have the courage to enter the depths of themselves and their partners It is not as I said for everyone You will probably know if you are more more of a likely candidate because you will feel it in your soul and your heart If you enter this path know that there are no Manuals there is precious little guidance out there The path to spirituality has traditionally been one of solitude absolutely and there he's right The work in yoga is just teaching you how to do how to make yourself uncomfortable It doesn't tell you what to do once you feel your shadow work come on You have to do that yourself and it is very lonely path for sure And which and while times of solitude may be necessary for those in the sacred relationship something has turned They agree to walk the path of the god head together side by side through both heaven and hell Through the brilliant summits where all things are suddenly crystal clear through the dark valley of psychological death Where it is hard to even see one's foot in front of the other and yet through the darkness of not knowing A deep primordial force begins to rise up It requires an unusually type of holy trinity three things for it to do its most holy task Mutual safety psychological honesty and appreciation of the beloved Have a good journey. He does have a note to the reader here, which we will read There is an implicate danger in writing about such things a sacred relationship Yes, for one some people might assume that the writer is an expert on such matters I assure you that I am not and I wish to place into a written record this fact If any teacher tells you they found enlightened that they surely have not For sure have not I have found myself several times running from the heat of the founder of relationship For as I mentioned earlier when the emotional and psychic heat of a sacred relationship gets really hot There's tendency to feel that oneself is being obliterated Of course, what is being obliterated or at the very least challenge is our own neuroses not our existence Which is what feels what which is what it feels like Our neurotic habits are tendencies and they don't give up easily. This is also attached to the ego too My experience is that that they often fight to death so to speak rather than fade gracefully into the past But that is just my personal experience And I don't wish to imply that this might be your experience as well The art of sacred relationship I believe is learning how to be in the heat of transformation and not automatically run from it I also think that this way of being in a relationship is enough with another is one of the most challenging and rewarding things I've ever asked of myself because this way of relationship is so dynamic and life changing I think the entrance into this path should have a warning sign. So here it is Warning enter this path with sobriety and abandon know that those who enter the path will never be the same Nor will you I was redundant here for those of you who think you are an exception to everyone else All right guys, we're going to end it there and next week. We'll start on a woman's story in this family script Thank you so much and I hope that you're having an awesome day. I'll talk to you soon. Bye