 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the great Gilder Sleeve. The Gilder Sleeve is brought to you partially transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. Kraft, makers of the one and only Miracle Whip salad dressing. We say one and only because there just isn't any other salad dressing like Miracle Whip. Miracle Whip is different and it tastes different. Miracle Whip tastes so good it's become the most popular salad dressing ever created. More Miracle Whip is sold in the next 20 leading brands of salad dressing combined. Try it. Make your salads better tasting with the one and only Miracle Whip. There's something about a teenager. You can always tell when one inhabits a house. When it's raining outside there's mud on the carpet. They roar through the house like a capricious whirlwind scattering debris here and there then disappear down the street emitting wild cries. And there's ample evidence that a teenager lives at the Great Gilder Sleeve's house as the water commissioner arrives home from the office tonight. Oh my goodness. What's happened to the living room? Books scattered over the floor, lunch pail on the piano keys. Leeroy! Oh, where is he buddy? He's locked here but he's zoomed out again. I know he was here. There's proof in the parlor. Yes, there's proof in the kitchen too. Yes, there's buddy. He came in to raid the icebox while I was waxing the floor. He left tracks in the wax so I had to wax the tracks. Oh? Mr. Gilder Sleeve, all I got to do is wax the floor and turn my head and there's tracks. Too bad, buddy. Looks like all Bertie does around here is wax the tracks. Sorry, Bertie. How's dinner coming? Well dinner may be a little late because Bertie's been waxing the tracks. Oh yes. Mr. Gilder Sleeve, you know why dinner may be late? Yes, Bertie. Because Bertie's been waxing the tracks. Well, I guess I'd better pick up the books. That boy keeps us hopping around here. Oh, hello, Anki. Hello, Marjorie. Did Leeroy leave his books on the floor again? Yeah. Uncle Mort, you just have to talk to him. I talk to him, Marjorie, constantly. But it goes in one ear and out the other. The only thing Leeroy remembers is breakfast and lunch and dinner. You should see his room, Anki. It looks like a circus slept there. Why, he didn't even make up his bed. Oh, that boy. He has shirts hanging on doorknobs, and he uses neckties for light cords. I'll talk to him, Marjorie. But I can't be here to watch him every minute. Where do you go this afternoon? Don't cross the street to see Babs, I guess. Here he comes now. Leeroy, you're letting in cold air. Close the door. Okay. Don't slam it. Sorry, Aunt. Do you want me to close it again? No. Okay. Just get ready for dinner. Go wash up. Leeroy, don't leave your roller skates in the middle of the hall. No. And please keep your books off the floor. And you didn't make your bed this morning. Well, gosh, why make it up? Right when it's getting comfortable. Leeroy, you make up that bed. And don't leave those skates on the floor. And go wash for dinner. Wait a minute. What do we do first? Wash the skates. Dinner's ready. Or eat. Just a minute, Bertie. Maybe I'd better go eat. Young man, you go up and wash your hands. I think I'll go along and take a look at your room. Okay. What's this about using neckties for a light cord? That's my own idea. I've strong enough neckties together so I can get in bed and turn out the light. What a brain. You come along, young man. Upstairs. Oh, watch the skates, auntie. Skates? Darn kids. Leeroy, I've not told you to pick up your skates. I was going to. I put your cap on me about what to do. No wonder I get confused. Leeroy, if we didn't tell you, you'd never get anything done. How do you know I wouldn't? Well, we know you, Leeroy. You wait to be told everything. Oh, gosh. By now it's a habit. I'd probably wait for it subconsciously. Man, that's the trouble with you. You're subconscious. No, Marjorie. You're telling me to do so many things. I don't have time to do anything on my own. Do this. Do that. Don't do this. Don't do that. Boy, why would nobody have told me to do anything? Would I do it? Hey, you mean you would or you wouldn't? I'd be picking on me. I know what to do and what not to do. I'm not a little kid anymore. Well, Leeroy, we don't like to nag. Well, we don't. But you still need guidance. Well, if you'd lay off me for a while, I bet you'd be surprised at what would happen. Yeah, I bet we would, too. Yeah, all right, Leeroy. I'm going to take you up on that. Yeah? For one week, nobody around here will remind you what to do. Are you kidding? No, I'm not. You have your little chores. You know when to study. You know when to go to bed and when to get up. In general, you know what's expected of you. It'll be up to you to follow through without being told. This will be a lesson in self-reliance. Boy, this will be key. Just remember, one slip and the deal's off. Now go wash up for dinner. Uh-huh. Yes, Leeroy? You weren't going to tell me what to do. No, sorry, my boy. And just to show you how things will work, I left my sweater outside and nobody has to tell me to run out and get it. Yeah, good boy, but don't slam the door. This will never last a week. Tell me, is your uncle calling you home tonight, Leeroy? He isn't calling me home. You mean you can stay out as long as you want? I don't know. I'll go home at nine o'clock as usual, but uncle isn't going to call me the way he would a kid. Well, if you have to go home at nine anyway, what difference does it make? Well, it's hard to explain, but there's a big difference. You know you have to do it, but you don't have to be told to do it. I don't get it. Let me ask you, do you always make up your bed? Well... Do you leave your clothes scattered all over the room? What business is it of yours? You're not neat, huh? Leeroy, forester. You can't do things without being told, huh? You don't know what fun it is. What fun is there in hanging up your clothes? Well, I don't know, but I'm going to try it tonight. Leeroy, I don't understand you. Well, I guess it's because I'm so self-reliant. Self-reliant? I bet you still have to be told to get up in the morning. I like to be told to get up. I like Uncle Rumson to call me every morning. Yeah? Because then I can go back to sleep. I don't really have to get up until he bangs on the door and yells. Well, that's all right for a young girl, but I'll be getting up by myself now. I don't know about you, Babs. You don't know what? I don't know if I can play with you much longer. I seem to be outgoing you. Leeroy, you're talking crazy. Oh, yeah? Do you know what my uncle's letting me do? He's letting me do anything I want to do for a whole week. Anything? Anything. Just so it isn't anything wrong. Uncle Rumson's always telling me what to do. Well, you probably still need guidance. Besides, you're a girl. That has nothing to do with it. I'm going to have a talk with Uncle Rumson. I never let you get by with anything. He's too hard-boiled. All right, Smarty, here comes Mr. Gilder's sleeve now. Yeah? You looking for mail? Just out looking at the stars. What time is it? It's five minutes to nine. But I didn't come out to call you. Okay. I think I'll go to bed now. Good night, Leeroy. Good night, Uncle. Good night, Pat. Good night. You see, Babs, he didn't call you, did he? Nah. Uncle and I are on a man-to-man basis now. Bab. Yes, Uncle Rumson? Nine o'clock. Come inside. Right away, Uncle Rumson. Good night, Leeroy. Good night. It'd be tough being a kid. It's two minutes past nine. Well, so if it's important. Well, now, what do you want? I just want to sit on the arm of your chair and talk. This is so comfortable. I can't be talking in the morning. I'm reading. I have to talk now, Uncle Rumson. I've just decided I'm not going to be a problem every morning. I'm going to get up all by myself. You'll never have to beat on the door again. Babs, you've stayed up too late. You're tired and hysterical. Now, I go to bed. I mean it, Uncle Rumson. You won't have to tell me to get up and you won't have to tell me to straighten up my room. What are you after? Me? Let me see now. It isn't Christmas. You've had your birthday and I've given you your allowance twice. You're wonderful, Uncle Rumson. That's why I want to do something nice for you. You do? I want to relieve you of the horrible responsibility of me. Are you well, child? Perfectly, but I'm not a child. In fact, it just occurred to me that you do all my thinking for me. Well, if there's thinking to be done, it should be done right. Uncle Rumson, from now on I want to make my own decisions. Babs, where did you get this silly idea? Well, Leroy makes his own decisions now. Mr. Gildersleeve doesn't do his thinking for him anymore. Then there's hope for the boy. Mr. Gildersleeve isn't going to tell Leroy to do anything for a whole week. Leroy can go to bed when he places and get up when he places. And he doesn't have to consult his uncle about going to the movies or anything. Gildersleeve is permitting all this while he's undermining the neighborhood. He is not. Mr. Gildersleeve is a very modern uncle. He represents progress. If that Neanderthal numbskull represents progress, I'm taking the first rocket to the moon. Uncle Rumson, do I or do I not get the same privileges as Leroy? You do not. You're still a child. If I am, it's because you won't let me grow up. There. Good night, you. You old-fashioned uncle, you. Old-fashioned? She slammed the door. She's never done that to me. She's becoming incorrigible. Gildersleeve will pay for this. My. What a pretty package. Doing. Are you doing your Christmas shopping early? Yeah, I'm wrapping a new pair of skates for Leroy. Little reward for doing his chores without being told. Oh. You bet. We made an agreement. For a whole week, Leroy gets to lead his own life without any interference from me. Judge, do you realize what we'd have if all parents would give their teenage children free reign? Pandemonium? No, Judge. Don't misunderstand me, Gildy. I don't think a parent should hold the reins too tightly. And yet I think it's dangerous to give a young cold his head. Judge Leroy is not a horse. I know. But if you'll take my advice... I don't want your advice, you old goat. Well, if you're going to be stubborn, the old goat knows who the mule is. Whoops. Watch it, Horace. If you're going to let Leroy do everything he pleases, what if he decides to run away and join the Navy? The Navy? Anybody who hates to take a bath the way Leroy does it never join the Navy. Besides, he's not old enough. What would happen, Gildy, if all the children in your neighborhood had no wonder answer to? Well, that might not be so good. Gildy, please! Are you in there? It's Mr. Bullard. He's here. Come on in, Romsen. Gildy, please. What ideas are you putting into the heads of our children? Me? You mink-a-poop? No, wait a minute. I thought I was doing the right thing. You can't tell me you think. Thanks to you, I've completely lost control of little Babs. What do you mean, Romsen? Last night, she slammed the door in my face, and this morning, she tasted coffee. Put it on the wall this evening. I was just telling Gildy before you came. You're all right, Judge. All right. Maybe I made a mistake. Don't rub it in. Well, Gildersleep, what do you propose to do about it? I don't know. I told Leroy you could do anything he wanted to for a week. I can't go back on my promise. Because of you, I had to make the same promise to Babs. Anything can happen in a week. Leroy may go to sea. Babs has always wanted to be one of those TV dancers. Why, she may end up in television. No, fellas. I haven't committed any crime. Well, it's too early to know what you've done, as the twiggy's bent so grows the tree. Well, that's true. And you'd have them grow willy-nilly. Well, thanks to Gildy. There's nothing you can do but hope for the best. What have I done to our children? We'll have to wait and see, Gildersleep. And then wait and see what I do to you. You, you, I know, nincompoop. The great Gildersleep will be back in just a minute. Here's a wonderful way to make meatless, leavened meals tempting and satisfying. It's easy. Just serve salads often. Make them bigger and better than ever, especially attractive, hearty, and good tasting. And don't worry, those salads will be especially good tasting if you make them with delicious miracle whip salad dressing. Miracle whip gives salads marvelous flavor, a flavor that's peppy, lively, teasing, yet not a bit too sharp. It's a flavor millions of folks everywhere call just exactly right. It's a flavor you won't find in any other salad dressing because miracle whip is actually a different kind of salad dressing. It's made from a secret craft recipe that combines the qualities of old-fashioned boiled dressing and fine mayonnaise to give you the best of both. Try it, just one taste, and you'll know why miracle whip has become America's favorite salad dressing, outselling the next 20 leading brands of salad dressing combined. For your luscious fruit salads, for colorful vegetable combinations, for shimmering gelatin molds, for delicious salads, use miracle whip. Put a jar of miracle whip in your shopping basket tomorrow. Just be sure you see the name miracle whip on the jar you buy. There's only one miracle whip salad dressing, and it's made only by craft. Well, a couple of days ago, the great Gilda sleep put Leroy on his own for a whole week. He isn't telling the boy what to do. In fact, Leroy is doing as he pleases. This teenage independence has spread across the street to the Bullard home, adding to the water commissioner's worries. Bullard has no reason to be angry with me, Marjorie. Well, ordinarily, Mr. Bullard doesn't need a reason. Leroy and Babs have behaved beautifully. I guess that's what worries Mr. Bullard. He thinks it's just the calm before the storm. Well, if the kids step out of line, the least it'll bet we'll clamp on the lid. That's the agreement we have with them. We should hurry and step out of line. I can't stand this suspense. Birdie? Yes, sir? Have you checked Leroy's room today? Yes, sir. It's as clean as a pin. He's been hanging up his clothes and shining his shoes. No, George, I don't understand it. It isn't natural for Leroy to be so perfect. The boy's taking advantage of the promise I made you. You mean you want him to make a mistake? Well, it might be the best thing for it. It's like the judge said. It's dangerous to give youth a free reign. Birdie, did Leroy take the ashes out of the furnace this morning? No, sir. I didn't see him do it. He took his bath, came down, ate breakfast, thanked me for it and rushed out. Oh, he said he wanted to be the first one in school. So he forgot the ashes, huh? Right, George, I knew he'd slip up. Oh, that's Leroy now. Listen, he's wiping his shoes on the mat. He never did that before. Hi, everybody! Leroy! I'd like to have a little talk with you. I'm the rocks away. Well, you could just toss them on the living room floor. Oh, no, I have to put them away neatly. Oh, brother. Who to say me about, Aunt? My boy, wasn't this the morning to clean out the furnace? Yes, it was. I understand you didn't do it this morning. No, I didn't. Well, well... I did it last night. Excuse me, I'll go clean out the garage. You? You're getting your little chores out of the way so you can go to a movie tonight. Ah, don't you know this is a school night? Yes, but I hope you might. You, I mean, thought you might go anyway. I wouldn't think of it. I could never make it home by nine o'clock. Well, Uncle Mort, aren't you ashamed of yourself trying to tempt Leroy? Well, I wouldn't have to do it if he wasn't so good. What a problem, child. Yes, that Leroy sure is a problem when he's good. Another couple of days and the week will be up. Leroy's still a model boy. Why doesn't he do something? Darn kid. Well, that's Leroy spent a lot of time at Peabee's. Wonder if he's noticed anything. What can I do for you today? Peabee? Has Leroy been drinking many sodas lately? No. In fact, I believe the pharmacy's losing money on Leroy this week. He waged the comics, but he hasn't bought anything. Well, he puts them back in the rack and goes out jingling his money. He doesn't like the boy to stay within his allowance. He isn't under books for anything, is he? No. I have a little bill for you, though. Am I overdue, Peabee? Well, it was due on the 10th. Of course, this is only the 27th. Well, now it's supposed to be the 10th of March and the 10th of February. I'll pay it then. Very well. You'll understand if I wait till next month to pay my water bill. Yes, yes. Mr. Gildersley, why are you so concerned about Leroy? Well, bullies. Bullied and I are letting babs in Leroy make all their own decisions for a week. And it's working so well that I'm worried. And don't say. It isn't right for youngsters not to have to come to their elders for guidance. What if they're doing all right? They've been lucky, Peabee. And so have we. And thank goodness this week will soon be up. And Bullied and I can pick up the reins again. Mr. Gildersley, what if the kids don't want to hand over the reins? Well, if they improve and they prove that they can accept responsibility and don't need your guidance, what can you say? Peabee, I'm afraid you're right. That's why they've been so good. They have no intention of giving us back the right to tell them what to do. Yes, they haven't. Understands the reason the teenagers need the council of older heads? Yes. It's too much to expect that they'll make the right decision every time. Yeah, yeah. You know, I wouldn't be the fine young man he is today if he hadn't had me to look to. No, I wouldn't care. Nice of you, Gildersley, to come over and sit on the stoop with me. Well, Mr. Bullied, I saw you wandering around the yard all alone. Well, I have felt a little lost the past few days. I know what you mean. I suppose it's because of Babs. Because of her independence, she's grown away from me, Gildersley. Well, Leroy and I don't seem to be pals anymore. We haven't had a quarrel for days. Frankly, Gildersley, I'm glad this week is up tonight. I can hardly wait to begin helping Babs make decisions again. Well, I'm not so sure we can do that, Mr. Bullied. Why not? It is Peabee pointed out. If they've earned their independence, we can't take it away. Oh, Gildersley, they can't be independent. They're not old enough. They have to be told what to do. They've been doing everything they should. What can we tell them? Well, we can tell them. We can tell them that we... Godfrey. What can we tell them? Babs has been an angel. It's hard to believe, but Leroy's been perfect, too. You know, I can't supervise him anymore. There's nothing to supervise. Gildersley, I just had a horrible thought. Who? The children no longer need us. We've lost them. Our little birds have tested their wings and have flown away from what they once considered their sanctuary. Yeah, we're just a couple of old bird nests. I'll never forget the last time Babs came to my study, asked to sit on the arm of my chair. But that evening, she wouldn't take my advice. Gildersley, I like telling people what to do. Me, too. I guess that's part of the fun of being grown up. Yes, well, I'd better go sit by the fire. Good luck, Gildersley. Good night, Gildersley. Shin up. Shin up. Well, I'd better go home and sit by the fire, too. Is that Leroy's bike sitting right in the middle of the driveway? How many times have I told him not to leave it there? I'll have to have a talk with that boy. Hello, birdie. What are you doing? I'm cleaning up the front yard. That Leroy made a kite and left strings, paper, sticks, and glue all over the front yard. He did? And you ought to see that room here. It's a wreck. Well, wonderful. What's so wonderful about that? Leroy slipped his last birdie. Yes. Look at the pilot. School books all over the floor. What a beautiful sight. Yes. Here's you, Mr. Williams. I've just made the most marvelous discovery. Babs forgot to tie to her room. She did? Life is beautiful again. Well, look at my pilot. Books strewn around. Oh, lovely. Love. It's in the middle of the hall. I don't understand this. You're biking the driveway. Books cluttering the floor. Your room is shambles. What happened? Oh, gosh, I'm the week's up. Well, am I glad for everything yourself? Did you hear that, Bulders? I certainly did. What a fine boy. You bet. Kill on, Bulders. Let's celebrate. Oh, watch out for the skates, Gilda Sleeve. Skates? Are you hurt, Gilda Sleeve? Not a bit. It felt good. Great Gilda Sleeve will be with us again in just 30 seconds. There's no trick to making really good deviled eggs if, and this is important, if you make them with miracle whip salad dressing. When you add miracle whip to that egg yolk there, you're adding wonderful flavor, a lively, teasing flavor that's just sharp enough. It's a delicious flavor no other salad dressing can give you. Try it. For the best deviled eggs you ever tasted, and for wonderful salads, be sure the salad dressing you use is the one and only miracle whip salad dressing. Any orders again? Well, suppose I am. A man can feel pretty useless when nobody needs him. By the way, 9 o'clock, Leroy. Bed time. Okay. Soon as I finish this book. How many pages do you have to go? Let's see. 105. Leroy, put down that book and go to bed. And put your bicycle in the garage. You pick up the newspapers you left in the dining room table. And you get your galoshes out of the living room. You take the hammer off the mantle. You put the cushions back in the couch where they belong. You don't leave that banana peel on the coffee table. You act. Take it easy with your orders. You can be replaced. By George, he's right. Good night, folks. It is played by Willard Waterman. The show is written by John Elliott and Landy White and is partially transcribed. Shooted in the cast are Walter Tetley, Mary Lee Robb, Lillian Randolph, Barbara Whiting, Gail Gordon, Earl Ross, and Dick the Gram. Musical compositions by Jack Meakin. This is John Easton saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of The Great Gilded Sleeve. Delicious cold cuts for luncheon or supper make a welcome change of pace from the hot meals you've been serving. Easy to fix, too. But here's a tip. Be sure there's delicious Kraft prepared mustard on the table. Because when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. There are two kinds of Kraft mustard. Mild Kraft mustard, so smooth and delicately spiced. And Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added to give it extra zip. Keep both kinds on hand for different tastes. Next time, get Kraft prepared mustard. Stay tuned to Groucho Marx and You Bet Your Life, next on NBC.