 Hey, what's it you guys welcome back to my channel today? I thought we could talk about some of the struggles relating to being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder BPD is a heavily misunderstood mental health condition. Personally, I remember when I was first diagnosed with borderline personality disorder I was in crisis all the time and I phoned the crisis team pretty much every day and It never really helped. Crisis teams are shit. BPD has caused me so many problems over the years It's ruined most of my relationships with people Basically to prove it in my life But what are the struggles of BPD? The main struggle is getting help or support. I had three different care coordinators when I lived in south-west London and and None of them helped. BPD is a very complicated disorder and Honestly members of the NHS staff In the community setting They just don't want to deal with it. Well, I'd get to appointments about my mood And they just talk about bipolar My PTSD My eating disorder and my anxiety But never BPD. They never mentioned BPD. I Only found out I got diagnosed with BPD because a psychiatrist wrote it in a letter No one said anything to me about you mean the zest for borderline personality disorder I find it's one of the hardest disorders to live with because professionals don't want to hell We're seen as attention seekers Time wasters When in reality, we're just struggling Personally, I'm in a much better place than I was before and I have got it under control now. I Don't act on my impulsiveness. I don't Impulse if you do things anymore But those years I did struggle. I never had any help It's just really sad to think about how little support people BPD get I There is such thing as personality disorder pathway is Who do we see actually getting off of these things? Honestly, I genuinely feel like professionals just don't give a shit about people who BPD When we act impulsively we need support Not told. Oh, just don't do it Urges don't work that way When we're suicidal we need you to listen to us If someone was there to just listen to us, I Could guarantee there would be less suicide attempts In people who borderline personality disorder If we had someone that would listen to us when I tried to phone the crisis team and I was suicidal. I got hung up on Multiple times I recorded one because I I suspect it was gonna be the one not how it was hung up on me I wanted proof that this is what he was doing to me. So I recorded the phone call and It's he was like it doesn't seem like they're being challenged Like I was crying and I said I spent years trying And I said okay, bye Yes borderline personality disorder is a complex disorder, but you also have complex care treatment teams I used to be on the complex care treatment team So it's not like there's not resources available It's just then used. I see it on Instagram all the time people saying they're reaching out for help and then police turning up It's really unnecessary Just because someone's suicidal doesn't mean they need to go to hospital Suicide of thoughts come and go The only reason you need to talk to a suicidal thoughts is if you're thinking of acting on them It's the intent Personally, I don't ring ring a crisis team if I'm struggling Because I have no little respect for them. I Call a charity helpline called shout Drop on screen now Basically shout a charity organization that you can text This is UK only so sorry if you live in another country. I don't know helplines abroad But I do have some links in the description down below Whereas first diagnosed with BPD all I wanted was someone to listen My mom didn't understand it and my grandparents didn't understand it it was just a Diagnosis nobody knew anything about Which is the reason I make videos I make videos to raise awareness for things like borderline personality disorder But also PTSD bipolar other mental health conditions as well It's a really hard disorder to live with and I said some of the struggles are that staff don't care They don't listen you're left to your own devices And there's not enough support Because self-help shit only works if you're ready to put in the effort And if you're struggling with suicidal thoughts, you don't want to be sitting reading Documents for hours. I think one of the things that has helped me overcome my borderline personality disorder a bit is my medication So those don't know I take haloperidol 10 milligrams a day So it commands a pan 0.5 milligrams twice a day. I Take vortioxygen 20 milligrams at night To tracidone 50 milligrams at night to lithium a thousand milligrams at night I take a lot of medication, which I know is it's a lot, but it helps me get on with my life I'm able to go to university and sit through a four and a half hour lecture Which I just I've never been able to do I've always struggled and I've always had to take time out of lectures to refocus But I'm still allowed to use the autistic lounge, but uni They're a sensory room service that Which I think it's pretty cool for a university to have Honestly, so do you get met film school has been amazing And you're back on the topic of the video There are so many struggles of having borderline personality disorder You never know what's gonna hit you next You never know if you're gonna be happy or sad, you know, and if you're gonna be suicidal or not You might be impulsive that day So I might have left your life so you're the number of abandonment issues Then there's the trauma of how you've been treated Because we're getting BP these stems from trauma slash unstable homes It just needs more awareness and more support His staff weren't so afraid of the language borderline personality disorder It decreased all the suicide attempts We often attempt suicide and in the PD especially We attempt suicide here because We don't know what else to do That feels like the only option so we take an overdose we try to hang ourselves we Do whatever we're going to do to end our lives Sometimes look has it and we're saved Other times we lose people to us to suicide Which isn't right professional's need to bulk up And actually start dealing with the issues at hand I genuinely do blame professionals in this Because they don't help at all because they're afraid of the diagnosis That's all I've got for this video. I Hope it made some sense and if you do have a PD and you are struggling feel free to reach out to me And I'm happy to talk, but please remember. I'm not a professional and Don't send triggering content to my own strong DMs, please Thanks Have to put that a little bit. I don't want to get triggered