 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the Great Gildesleeve. The Great Gildesleeve is brought to you each week by the Kraft Foods Company. Kraft, a name that for years has meant fine cheese, is the maker of the new Kraft Deluxe slices of wonderful pasteurized processed cheese. These slices are perfect, no dried edges, no broken pieces, because they are wrapped right in the spic and span Kraft plant. You'll find Kraft is delicious processed cheese and slices in neat half-pound packages in your grocer's dairy case. Eight big slices in every package. Tomorrow, take home some of these convenient packages and get acquainted with Kraft Deluxe slices, the most delicious processed cheese you've ever tasted. Last night, as the quiet hours rolled by, the Great Gildesleeve and his little family slept peacefully in their beds. Well, all except his little nephew Leroy, he lay wide awake, and the wheels of his mind were turning around and around, and a little while they began to turn faster and faster, and then he got an idea. Now it's morning. Birdie the housekeeper is in the kitchen cooking breakfast, and here comes Leroy. Hi, Birdie. Good morning. Leroy, you up on... What happened? You dare fall down? No. I got a busy day. I'm flying. Well, you better tuck your shirt tail in. You're not only flying, you're flapping. What you got there, Leroy? Is that your piggy bank? Yeah, I got a neat idea. I'm gonna make a pile of money for Christmas. Don't you go bustin' open that pig? No, I got a better idea than that. I'm gonna sell guesses. Guesses? Sure. You know how stores have people guess how many beans in a jar? Well, I'm gonna have them guess how much there is in my piggy bank. Ten cents a guess. Keen, huh? How you gonna do that? Well, simple. Everybody guesses how much is in it. No one is the closest gets the pig. Oh, for pity's sake. I got a hundred guys to guess. Ten cents a guy, that's ten bucks. I got a thousand guys to guess. That's... ooh, that's a hundred bucks. I never heard of a scheme like that. Yeah. And there's only two dollars and thirty cents from the pig. Pretty neat, huh? Me? Leroy, you're a slicker. That's what you are. You're a slicker. Yeah. Leroy, come to breakfast. Okay, I'll come in. Guess what's in the bank for ten cents? What a... Good morning, my boy. Good morning, Leroy. Where's Bronco? He is. Where is that husband of yours, my entry? He left early. He's working on a big deal. Yeah, so am I. Bronco won't have to work after a while. Neither will you, Ron. You always say so. When Roger's baby gets here, I'll buy all the stuff for it. You will? Sure. I found out how to make money. It's easy. I get guys to guess how much is in my piggy bank. Ten cents a guess. I make a hundred dollars on one pig. And if I had ten pigs, I'd make... Leroy, just a minute. You want to guess? No. What a dizzy idea. What's dizzy about it? Leroy, you can't do that. It's not legal. It isn't? They put you in jail. They what? Certainly. Poor little Leroy. You thought you had everything figured out, didn't you? Yeah. I was going to get some money for Christmas. Well, there are other ways. Plenty of them. Yeah, I admire your ambition, Leroy. But let's try to think of something a little more practical. You could deliver packages at Mr. P.D.'s drug store. I don't want to run around with aspirin. I want to have a business. That's the right idea, my boy. Hey, how about a skating rink in the backyard? All I have to do is squirt the hose on it and let it flee. Leroy, nobody wants to go to a skating rink in the winter. All they have to do is get down to the river. Yeah, I didn't think of that. You're smart, uncle. Oh, well, I've had experience. You get a business where you're selling something people need, like bread and cheese. Cheese? Something is necessary. Look at me. Yeah, I'm in water. Everybody has to have that. I see what you mean, uncle. You bet. Start a little business and do it all yourself. Get something everybody needs. For instance, right now, I need a haircut. Okay, I'll be a barber. Where's the scissors? Just a minute. That takes training. I was only illustrating a point, Leroy. But you've got the right idea, and you keep at it, my boy. You'll think of something. Sure. You're keen, uncle. Well, thank you. You'll just leave you have a wise old head on your shoulders. You should have been a teacher. Slip right into the chair, commission. Floydie Munson puts out the quickest haircuts in town. My electric clippers got overdrive. Yeah, boy. Yeah, I intended to come in this morning, Floyd, but I was pretty busy at the office. Had to wait until noon. Pumping a lot of water these days, huh? You bet. You know, a little Leroy dropped in to see me this morning. Really, did? Yep. What a salesman that kid is. Talked the shirt right off my back. Who, I says? He's in business, picking up laundry. Yeah? Sure. Some new outfit in town called a million-dollar laundry. I gave him all my shirts. Had kids that go get it, commission. Yeah, laundry business is all right. He took my advice. He had something that everybody needs. You get him the job? Certainly not. He got it by himself. Oh. I simply advised him. A million-dollar laundry. He sounds like a big concern. Hey, George Floyd, that shows you what a boy can do when his uncle gets behind him. The way that kid's going, you're going to be way behind him. Leroy the Laundry King. Ah, but you got nothing to worry about, commission. When the kid's a big laundry tycoon, he'll buy his water from you. Well, it's all right with me, Floyd. After all, I started him out. He's a clever little lad, but with his old uncle that taught him the principles of business. He is, sir. How about a shampoo, commission? A shampoo? Yeah, why not? If your nephew's going to be the head of a laundry, why not launder the head behind the laundry head? Yeah, sure. Shoot the work, Floyd. Okay. Imagine that. Leroy must have gone right out this morning and landed that job. It shows he has ability. It shows, too, that he has good advice behind it. The boy follows in the footsteps of the man. And I make some pretty good footsteps. I think I'll drop in and tell P.D. about it. Oh, Mr. Jones, please. What can I do for the water, commission, today? Well, I haven't had lunch at P.D. You're watching the sandwiches today. They say more baloney. Well, that's good. Yeah, I'll take a baloney sandwich. You're going to eat it? Certainly, P.D. Why shouldn't I? Well, no reason, I guess, if you like to stuff. They can't figure out why people come in here to eat. This is a drug store. Well, people get hungry. Why don't they go to a restaurant? I don't know why I sell sandwiches. Restaurants don't sell aspirin. Your P.D. There you are, Mr. Jones. Oh, why? This is delicious sandwich. The best I ever tasted. Why do you say all those terrible things about your food? Psychology, Mr. Jones, please. If I say the food's good, the customer says it's bad. But if I say it's bad, the customer says it's good. It takes as a trade. Oh, P.D., you're shrewd. By the way, have you heard about Leroy? Yes, Leroy was in this morning. He said he's in the laundry business. Yep. My idea. You don't say. The boy wanted to make some money for Christmas, so I coached him how to get started. I'm beginning right now to give the boy the benefit of my experience, P.D. Well, I hope the laundry does good work. I send all my charity. You did? What a nice thing to do. You don't have to worry. Leroy's doing just as I told him. All right, George. He's going to be exactly like his uncle. Yes, he's taking after you, all right. You bet. Working with the laundry, he has the water and became soft soap. You know I never soft soap anybody. No, I wouldn't say no. Look at that, P.D. You're what a kidder. Soft soap. He's a wonderful little fellow. He just says those things because he likes me. Leroy. Well. You're pulling your little wagon Yeah, I did like you told me, uncle. I got a business. I'm in laundry. So I hear. A million-dollar laundry. It's keen, uncle. I get all kinds of customers already. Floyd Munson, Mr. P.V., Judge Hooker. The judge? Well, good. Yeah, and even Mayor Sir Williger. The mayor. Leroy, you're doing fine. Sure. I'm getting all the important people in town. How about you, uncle? Can I have your laundry business? You certainly can, my boy. After all, we're practically partners. Where's your bundle? You'll find my shirts upstairs in the clothes hamper. Okay. How about the one you got on? You wanna get on? You got a spot on that cuff. Well, I'll keep my coat on. I have to go back to the office. Okay, I'll get it tonight. See you later, uncle. You're what a salesman. Floyd was right. You talked the shirt right off your back. Glad this day's over. He was hot in the office. Keeping my coat on all afternoon to cover that spot on my shirt. Oh, now little Leroy's getting along with his new job. Oh, how can he miss it? Well, I'm home, my jury. Where's Leroy? Oh, he's here. You are good. Have you heard about the laundry? Yeah, I heard. My jury, I practically suggested it. Remember this morning when Leroy asked me for advice? You suggested it? Well, it was the same thing. Leroy's just a boy. He needs an older head to help him along. How's he doing? Ask Birdie. Huh? Just go out in the kitchen and ask Birdie. Yeah, I don't like the sound of this. What's going on around here? Yeah, hello, Birdie. Well, you won't be last, Mr. Gilsleeve. I'm glad you won't. Oh, what's up, Birdie? It ain't what's up, Mr. Gilsleeve. It's what's down in the basement. Well, what's in the basement? Leroy. You know what that boy's doing, Mr. Gilsleeve? Well, yes, Birdie, but... You know what he's doing in that basement, Mr. Gilsleeve? No, Birdie, but... Look at that sign. He's stuck up on the basement door. Well, you see, million-dollar laundry Leroy Forrester president. Over. That's what he's doing in the basement, in my washing machine. In the washing machine? He's doing washing. He's doing everybody's washing in my washing machine. Well, Birdie, now wait. Let's look and see. I ain't looking. I'm just sickening and fuming. I ain't looking. The boy was only trying... He's got the soap down there and that machine's are going. The suds are going to be coming out to winters and I'm just sickening and fuming. Well, Birdie, let's look at this comedy. Leroy is just a boy. You'll have to admit it's a pretty clever idea. The suds are going to be coming out to winters. Now, wait. More than one bigpins was started just this way. Sit. Maybe he didn't go about it just right. But at least he's trying. Kill him. Let's try to be understanding. I understand. He's down there with the soap and the machine going out to sicken. Oh, let's see you. I'll see what's going on. I know you're going to do this in the basement. I can't take the washing machine upstairs. Boy, I'm nearly turning out the stuff. Oh, aren't you not sore? Me? You certainly not. Birdie and Marjorie are a little upset. They'll be all right. You have the right idea. You took the bull by the horns and started your own business. That's what counts. Of course, you'll have to find some other way to do it. But I'm not angry with you for this. No, sir. Ah, keen on. I told all the fellas what a smart boy you were. Just like your uncle. And this proves it. Gee, thanks. Look at all the shirts I got. Yours and everybody's. Yeah, good for you. Whose shirt is this? Gee, I don't know. You don't know? Are you going to tell who they belong to? Who they belong to? Are you going to get the right shirts back to the right people? Back to the right people? You mean you didn't mark them? Uh-uh. Leero. We'll be back in just a moment. Friends, when you get craft deluxe slices, that marvelous pasteurized processed cheese in slices, you're in for many delightful surprises. First of all, when you open up one of these neat packages, you'll be amazed to find eight big slices, each one as large as a slice of bread. And you'll notice too that there are no broken pieces or dried out edges. But now comes the most wonderful surprise of all, your first taste of this fine cheese. Notice that flavor, that wonderful cheese flavor that's so unusually good. And the reason why craft deluxe slices taste so good and are so perfectly formed is that they're made differently. For instead of being cut from a loaf like other sliced cheese, craft slices are formed by a new craft invention that captures all the fine processed cheese flavor into each perfectly formed slice. Then wrapped and sealed in a spick and span craft plant, protected all the way to you. And of course one of the nicest things about this extra good tasting processed cheese is the convenience of the package. You can easily keep three or four varieties on hand all the time because these packages take up so little room in your refrigerator. So be sure to look for them tomorrow in your Grocer's Dairy Case. Convenient, delicious craft deluxe slices. It seems Leroy's million dollar laundry has made a slight mistake. Plenty of shirts came into the laundry but now there's a little problem of getting them back to the right people. In fact it isn't a little problem at all. It's a mighty big one. The million dollar laundry has had the shirts over a week now and the president is in trouble. I know you didn't mean to but they are. You'll have to figure out some way to sort them out. How can I sort them out? Don't ask me. This is your laundry. It's your idea. I know. The white shirt looks like every other white shirt. And mine are in there too. You better think of something Leroy and you better think fast. Aren't you going to help me, uncle? No, sir. It's your business, Leroy. You got yourself into this mess. Now get yourself out. I'm going for a walk. That boy has to learn to watch it. It's his own fault. Not mine. What a mess. Poor little kid. He's scared. Well, he deserves to be scared. He'll do him good. Kind of a mean trick though. Leaving him in trouble like that. You'll just leave. Don't be a heel. No, I'm not being a heel. Yes, you are. Well, maybe I am. Don't cry. We'll figure out something. You're going to help me? Yeah. That's all part of being a good businessman, my boy. There's no problem that's too big to be solved. And we'll solve this one. Gee, thanks, uncle. You bet. We'll straighten this out in jig time. I'll take it, my dream. Hello. Hello, Gail there. Leroy there. Leroy? Certainly, judge. Leroy is for you. Me? He's wondering about my shirts. Yeah? What'd he say? He's wondering about his shirts. Hello. Hello. What'll I tell him, uncle? Well, tell him... Leroy, when do you even get that pile of shirts off the back porch? Oh, brother. Hello. We can't move out there, uncle. What'll I tell him, uncle? How'd I ever get back into this? Leroy, tell him he can have his shirts this afternoon. Hello, judge. Give me that phone, Leroy. Judge, you'll have them this afternoon. You can eat them for dinner. Goodbye. Well, what are you going to do, uncle? Won't you ask? Well, I had to tell the judge something. I don't know how we're ever going to sort out those darn shirts. Well, why don't you let the fellas come to the house and pick them out? They'll recognize them. Say, that's not a bad idea. We'll make a little party out of it. Serve punch and cookies? Sure. Every man picks out his own shirts. Right, George, I knew I'd find a way out of this thing. Hello. Hello, sleeve. This is Mayor Tawiliker. Oh, hello, Mr. Mayor. I bet I know what you're calling about. You do. You lost your shirt. This is no joking matter, you know the sleeve. I've been wearing the same shirt for three days. You else don't mind. Keep your shirt on. Everything's going to be all right. What happened to my laundry? Well, a little mix-up, Mr. Mayor. The markings got lost. We're having a little get-together at my house this afternoon with refreshments. Come on over and pick out your shirt. You're doing one of those things. It can happen in the best of the laundries. I'm taking charge, so don't you worry. Just come over this afternoon about five o'clock. All right. I told you I'd get this thing straightened out. Gee, you're the smartest uncle in the world. Well, it's all a matter of using your head, my boy. Yes, sir. Miss Giltley, what about them shirts? You know, it's all settled burdens. We'll all pitch in and iron them up neatly. And then the fellas are coming over this afternoon to pick them out. Clever idea, don't you think? You mean they're going to come in and find their own shirts? Sure. And I'll pick out mine, too. Mine are in there, you know. We'll have a nice little party up. What's the funny? This is love to be some party. What's that? What happens when two men both decide on the same shirt? Oh, that couldn't happen, Bertie. It couldn't? Miss Giltley, have you ever been to a bargain sale? Well, it won't be like that, Bertie. I can see them men tanning into their shirts. Miss Giltley, you're going to have a hassle. No, Bertie. Yes, sir. I can see them men pulling and yanking. You're going to have a hassle. You're all right, Bertie. Miss Giltley, you know what you're going to have? Yes, Bertie. That's right. You're going to have a hassle. You set them on the table there by the punch and quit eating them. I have the last of the shirts, Anki. You're good. They spread them out there in the couch, my dear. The others are on the dining room table. Holy cow! I really took in the laundry. Yes, you did. Almost five o'clock, Miss Giltley. Well, I'm already, Bertie. What are you doing? I'm taking the breakables out of the living room. There's going to be a hassle in here. I'm going to save the good stuff. Here they come, Anki. I'll open the door. I'll go to the... Hi, LeRoy. Hello, Mr. Noon, Mr. Munson. I'm Arge. Hi, Commissioner. Well, greetings, Floyd. You're the first one here. Yes, that's me. Come early and stay late. I figured I'd get here a little ahead of time and get the pick of the shirts. Well, take it easy, Floyd. Wait till the others get here. Oh, you got the best ones spotted already, huh, Commissioner? Good day, Roy. Good day, Roy. Well, Judge and Phoebe. Glad to see you. Glad to see you, girl. I'm glad you see my shirt. Phoebe. You all right? Hey, if the Chief was here, we could have a Jolly Boys meeting. Well, George, we could have that. I'm certainly happy to see you fellas taking this thing in a friendly spirit. Well, you never can tell, Gilday. I might go out of here with better shirts than I had before. I didn't wear my glasses. No, Judge. Hey, we ought to draw straws to see who gets first crack at them. No, indeed. It's every man for himself. You, brother, maybe Bertie was right. Yeah, that looks like your man. Yeah, I'll let him in. Now I see who gets the best shirts. No. Thank you, Gilda Sleeve. You married to Williger? You know all the fellow? Yeah, she has howdy-do, boys. I am the man. Well, here we all are. All shirt owners. I'm in the same boat, you know. So, fellas, look them over and find your own. Sure, let's get started, huh? No, no, no, let's not get excited. There's plenty of shirts for every man. I know we all trust each other. Well, of course we do. That looks like mine. With a pearl button. Oh, this one's mine. Hey, I found one. Oh, this is like a game. I spy. I found another shirt. No, fellas, don't overdo this. You got one there with your frayed car? Here's another one. That's two I got. I got three. I found another. Yes, this is mine. Let them go. This is the best party we ever had. I sure took care of that situation. You sure did, Aunt. They all got their shirts back, and they had a fine dime beside. Yeah, they were a nice bunch of fellas. Yeah, king guys. You see, Leroy, there was no squabbling. It all worked perfectly. Not a single shirt left. I noticed that, Aunt Gia. Where are your shirts? Oh, they're right over here tonight. All right, six. I forgot all about them. They're all gone. Oh, what a sneaky thing to do. Gildersleeve will be right back. Now you can please every member of your family with Kraft Deluxe Slices because these slices of fine pasteurized processed cheese that Kraft wraps eight to the package come in five delicious variety. There's wonderfully mellow Kraft American. Kraft American with Pimentos added. Nutsweet Kraft Swiss. Kraft Brick with that grand, rich taste. And Sharp Old English brand. Get several half-pound packages so everyone can enjoy his favorite for quick snacks and sandwiches that are so easy to fix. Tomorrow, look for them in your grocer's dairy case, the five varieties of Kraft Deluxe Slices of delicious processed cheese. Something for you, sir? Yes, you can give me four white shirts in size 1636. There you are. Shall I wrap them? No, I just put them in a bag. Yes, sir. That'll be $7.85 with the tax. Hello, Gilday. Well, hello, Judge. Oh, what do you have in the bag? I just came from the bakery. It's full of dried bread for my pigeons. I'll set it here on the counter. Nice party yesterday, Gilday. Eh, nice. Ate all my cookies, drank all my punch. Somebody ran off with all my shirts. Probably you, Judge. Well, I'll take my bag and be on my way. Good. Goodbye. You know, I'll take my shirts. Shirts? Doof? Judge! Judge, you got the wrong bag. Dried bread. Oh, keep it. Gildersleeve, today you're the pigeon. Great Gildersleeve is played by Willard Waterman. The show is written by Paul West, John Elliott, and Andy White with music by Robert Armbruster. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Mary Lee Roth, Lillian Randolph, Arthur Cube Ryan, Stanley Barar, Earl Ross, and Dick Legrand. This is John Heaston saying good night for the craft foods company, makers of the famous line of craft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the great Gildersleeve. Want to taste something good? Well, next time you make a cold meat sandwich, don't forget to add a little craft-prepared mustard. For when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Every bite tastes better. Now you can get two kinds of craft mustard. Salad mustard delicately spiced for those who prefer a milder flavor, and craft mustard with snappy horseradish added. Get both kinds. Then with every meat dish hot or cold, just add a little mustard, and you'll add a lot of tang. Craft-prepared mustard. For a half hour of spine-tingling excitement, hear the falcon every Sunday over the station. Check your newspaper for time of broadcast and listen next Sunday as the falcon solves the case of the raw deal. Here comes that madman Groucho Marx on...