 How's everybody, how, y'all worn out? I can tell, I can just, you know, I can just tell. And I don't think it's just my, I'm not just projecting. I know I'm exhausted, but I know what you do. You know, they told me this was the title, so I'm gonna do what I wanna do, but that's, that's, they see, I said, I said, we could do this or that. And she says, well, yeah, whatever you do is gonna be called the Sankofa moment. So, so, you don't know about the Sankofa bird, right? It's an African bird, says Sankofa's a word from, so it's from Ghanaian language. Translates as reaching back to get it and you're reaching back into the past so that you can what, move into the forward, right? So you think of San, what, Santanas? Sandianas, right. Sandianas, you have to, if you don't know your past, you get to repeat it. And that's what I spent a lot of time doing, of course, looking at the past. And I have to remember now and then I'm supposed to move forward because I kind of love the past. So that's where we're headed and we're hosting it. And this is gonna be very different pace because you're gonna do a lot more work than you did when I was talking yesterday. So I thought to get our energy going, we would treat this a little bit like a worship service. So I thought we'd do opening words and then we're gonna sing, okay? So let's do this together. I do not wish to breathe another breath if it is not shared with others. The breath of life is not mine alone. Brought myself to be with you, hoping that by inhaling the passion, the courage, the hope found here, I can exhale the fear, the selfishness, the separateness. I keep so close to my skin. I cannot live another moment, at least not one of joy, unless you and I find our oneness somewhere among each other, somewhere between the noise, somewhere within the silence of the next breath. And, y'all know this piece? Okay, well let's sing it together once and then we'll see if we can handle a round, okay? Why don't you stand up? Gathered here in the mystery of the hour. Gathered here in one strong body. Gathered here in the struggle and the power. Spear, so do it again together and then after the next time we'll split up, okay? Gathered here in the mystery of the hour. Gathered here in one strong body. Gathered in the struggle and the... So I should say that first reading, yes. It's all right. This is Kristen Harper, our colleague and you can find that if you go to the Meadville Lombard website and go to the Sankofa Archive Collection and go into Worship Resources and that's there in a whole bunch of other materials as well. So what are we gonna do? See, this is how I know what I'm gonna do. Ah, nature of racism and how racism affects us. Actually we're gonna look first at our own lives. That's what we're gonna do. So you're gonna have to do some work and you're actually gonna have to sit closer together. So what I wanna start with is for you to provide the content for yourselves. So what I want, let's see, did I put it? Oh, there it is. What is your earliest memory of becoming aware of race? So this is what I want you to do. I want you to pair up with someone and you're both, you're gonna talk for two minutes. One person's gonna talk about their earliest memory. I'll have to tell you when two minutes is over. The other person will talk for two minutes. Then you're gonna find another two people and the one person will report on the other person's experience in one minute and the other person will report on the other's experience and all four of you will do that. You'll keep that to four minutes. They'll tell you when three minutes has passed and then you'll have a little brief discussion about whether there's any themes. You got any with me? Was that clear? Okay, no, it was not clear. Okay, so that's what you're gonna talk about. Yes, you got that. Okay, then you're gonna find a person, you're gonna sit with somebody and the other person's gonna look at you delightedly, no matter what you say. Okay, completely affirming, 100% affirming your inherent worth and dignity. And you're gonna tell your story for two minutes. What is your first memory? And then I'll say, switch. And when I say switch, the other person will talk about their earliest memory from memories for two minutes. And then I'll say, find two other people. Then you're gonna find two other people and the person that you heard the story from, you'll repeat that story to the group of four. Okay, you with me? And you get a minute each to do that, that's four minutes. And then one last minute to see if any themes bubbled up. Okay, and then we'll report back on those. So find somebody, I'll briefly let you do that. Okay, if everybody's got somebody, you're gonna start right now. Time to switch to the other person. Okay, find another pair to speak to. Yeah, we're fine. I mean, switch. Yeah, go ahead. Your time, you get four minutes, one minute's each. And I'll let the whole thing play out. Then I'll say one, two, three. So one more minute and then you're gonna see if you have any themes that came up. You should begin talking about whether any themes emerged out of the stories. I'll give you a minute to do that. Okay, time, turn around back this way. So I'm always tempted to just let you talk because I know I could do it and completely get away with it and you would never even know. Oh, what a good workshop, right? So would anybody like to speak to a theme that emerged? But we should use the mic because the room is big and I don't think, I think it swallows up sound pretty quickly. So if a couple of people would speak. It just occurred to me even after we finished talking that we were all fine until somebody else told us that these people were not friends or worthy or whatever. And it was the message we got from other people, not ourselves as children. Thank you, thank you, wow. This may reinforce that. We all felt that we started from place where we were when we first became aware. And for at least three out of the four of us, that place where we started was pretty much Lily White. Thank you. Well, as the song says, all of us as children were surprised that it was a difference, that made a difference. Yeah. Similarly in our group of four, there was a certain innocence, but for all of us, things really happened when we were children. It wasn't going away and being in a totally different environment. All of us again, found out from other people, not from our families, but from other people that there were differences and there were certain lines you didn't cross. Thank you. Hi. So our group thought we didn't have any similarities running through, but then as you asked the question, with the exception of me, the realization of race came later in life. So for me, I just talk about it being kind of since I was born, but I think with the rest of the people in a group, it was once there was exposure to other that it came. Right. For our group, all four of us, there was, it was about a first encounter with a racial group or potentially having contact with a different racial group, and there was also fear associated with each of our stories. Thank you. Let's, okay, this is last. For our group, it was kind of a mutual experience of confusion. A couple of us had families that were pro-racial integration and then were confused when the rest of the world wasn't that way or the arrival of African-American children in an all-white school and how those people needed to be welcomed. The difference between the lives of the family and the lives of the housekeeper who lived in the poor black section. Thank you, Linda. For our group, the awareness was important, but it was how we became aware, which was through our parents. Each of us had a story that had to do with how our parents handled something, ranging from scout troops being blended by race, one partnering with another, or one having parents spank them with the use of nigger when that was the only spanking that they ever received. Wow, wow. Thank you. You're gonna sit down, right? Are you gonna say something, Bill? Bill's gonna say something. Go ahead. When I was six years old, I went to my father's hardware store in downtown and he and his clerks were serving everyone equally. Black, white, Oriental, Indian, Metis. This was in Winnipeg, Canada. So I grew up feeling we were all part of the human race. So you knew there were differences, but it was still, they were inconsequential. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. It was a shock to come to the United States, especially the South. Thank you. So pretty, yeah, interesting. We got these themes all right. It's pretty typical stories. Like, I mean, I don't remember not knowing. I mean, so I think you're a person of color. You don't remember not knowing. It's just, you know. And you know, so early there was no moment. And my experience at Meadville, because this is one of the issues I start my class with, is that many Euro-Americans don't think of it for some, for a long time, they live in so much inside of your American bubble that the issue just doesn't arise. And then sometimes it's family. I mean, you raise the issues. I mean, it's kind of, so I'm gonna, let's see where I'm gonna go with this now. Because all you're gonna do is echo things you've already said. Our fundamental nature. No one is born a racist. What we need is to be held, fed, and feel the world is absolutely delighted with you. That's all Ferdinand, that's Ferdinand there. He's five months old. That's all Ferdinand needed, right? And I've known his mother since she was, what, 16. And I met Ferdinand for the first time in December. But we got, you know, I would put him on my chest and she would, so I was there so she could take a break and she'd go out and we'd just cuddle up together and he'd go to sleep. And whatever these things are. I mean, no one's born a racist. That's the whole, we know that, right? I mean, that's not, that's a given. Children are naturally curious about everything. Difference only momentarily frightens them. They will adjust if there's no danger and their fear is not reinforced, right? That's, so these are the things I've figured out. That's, so that's Sophie is the little girl on the right, your right, is that, left? And on your right. And that's her grandmother, Brigitte. So I've known her grandmother since 72. Actually, I knew Sophie's mother when she was that age, Bettina. And just a little, so Bettina, at that age, Bettina moved with them, they moved to Bangkok. That's where she grew up in Bangkok. And then later, Sophie was born in Namnibia. That's where they were. So again, that's, if that's what Sophie grows up with, that's, you know, people of color and difference is not, doesn't faze Sophie because that's, I know her parents or grandparents don't communicate any anxiety about that to her. So that's, again, it's not in your inherent nature, right, your natural nature is to be interested in difference and to go toward things. And if something happens, what do you do? You run, grad, mom or your daddy's leg and go, for a while. And then that gets boring pretty quickly. And then they venture back out. I mean, y'all know this, y'all did it and you've all seen it. That's what they do. Children are naturally, emotionally attuned to fairness and protest the first time they see prejudice acted out. And I actually have got something here on a, where is it? I'm gonna get my glasses. This is, these are not quite kids, but it's from Southern Witnesses. This is just my, I'm pitching for Gordon here. For those who haven't seen the book yet. So this is about Unitarianism in the South. And he just has, this is about Wade and Becky Till and they're older, but it's enlightening. Becky Till, who he's writing about, they're members in Tennessee and Knoxville. Becky Till grew up in Africa, where her parents were part of the United Presbyterian Mission. Her childhood playmates were African, living in Knoxville as an adult. She joined the Cedar Springs Presbyterian Church. She recalls that a very nice, well-educated, middle-aged black businessman lived in the area and came and asked to join. When he was turned down, she left the church and never returned. So she ended up a Unitarian. Wade Till, her husband, grew up in Mississippi. He recalls noticing and reacting against the mistreatment of blacks. When I was in high school, I was beginning to get pissed off about these things that were going on. Hell, I was raised with blacks. I knew they were people. I went in the service and wound up playing football and working with blacks in the Air Force. We played football together and lived together and worked together. I just didn't go back to Mississippi, he says. So the, I think kids, well, no kids are, I was, I assume you all were a fairness boy. If my brother got a crumb more cake than me, you know, I was, I mean, kids are kind of concrete, and they kind of know what's fair and that's not fair. You're not treating this people person the way you treat that person. I think that's something built into the nature. I think kids think fairness should be this way for me and for you too. So I think kids are distressed the first time they see a prejudice act out, and probably sexism too. So, but if a child knows nothing else, it will come to accept racism as normal, okay? Given our inherent nature is not to be that way, but if you see nothing else, that it looks, begins to over time look quite normal to you. Prejudice is learned. That's prejudice is something that must be systematically taught and culturally reinforced. I don't think it can probably exist without that. That has to be taught to children, that children on their own wouldn't do that. But that's, you were saying that, right? That it didn't come from, it didn't come from in here. I didn't say here, anybody said that. I heard the say it came from outside, whether from those surrounding your parents or others, but it wasn't inherent in you. And I don't think it's inherent in you and that's why it has to be, and that's why it has to be literally culturally imposed. So I mean, the message behind this course is nobody, you're not to blame. People really ultimately aren't to blame no matter on this. So it's a parent's response to a child's openness, abandon curiosity and then reflects a parent's fear as both real and fictitious. And with me, so it's what the kids end up regulating off of because what kids are out there, right? They, you know, I mean, everything in the mouth and you know, whatever it is, they want it all. That's my experience. Kids are endlessly curious. They want it all. They want to engage in everything and they don't know, they don't really respect limits. They don't like limits. They don't appreciate limits. Well, you know, because we have to have childhood, what did we talk about? We child-proof the house, right? That's, you know, and we pretend it's for their good, but it's, you know, it's more often for us. And so the kids out there, so that's not what they pick up then. And who is it? It's they pick up on their parents' anxieties and fears and some are real and should be real. You know, you don't, kid doesn't walk out in the street and many are completely fictitious. They have nothing to do with reality except the emotional reality the parent carries within. So a parent's response to a child's moral protest, so this is when the child says, no, it's not fair, right? Well, the parent then says ranging from violence to hushing, shaming, scolding, to withdrawal of affection. So the UUs probably, you know, kind of range on the scold, the shaming kind of thing. That's my, my mother would never hit me, but she had to do, she had to look. Your mother had to look? Yeah, my mother had to look and I knew, I knew right then that, uh-oh, better stop doing whatever I was doing. She never had to, she never had to hit me. So I think that's, but it doesn't happen once, you know, you understand this doesn't happen, this happens, it happens, it happens, not even a hundred times, it happens a thousand, it happens 10,000 times. That's, I think kids are pretty resistant, but against that kind, I mean, it's probably ceaseless. They pick up on a parent's anxieties and the kid will be completely, you know, you have someone with, you know, purple hair, kids see this guy with purple mohawk, what are they gonna do? They're gonna go, oh, look, he's got a purple mohawk. Well, the parent, not about, yeah, but if someone of color, they said, oh, he's got brown skin, then the parent, even without saying anything, when they hear the breath go, cause the parent doesn't, is embarrassed. The kid knows, just like that, just like that. So kid learns, kid learns, you know, we pick up. The child faces a dilemma. Why? Because well, the kid at some levels gets confused and no, it doesn't make sense, but he idealizes the parents as well as needing and feeling they belong in a group. So they, I mean, these are basic need for the parent, right? You have to, they can't survive without the parent and they really can't survive without the group. So even though this stuff is getting late on them, even though they know at some intuitive level that it doesn't make sense, their survival depends on their parents and on the group. So they have to somehow come to terms with that. So a child experiences moral confusion. Someone talked about that. When have you mentioned that, right? Moral confusion and emotional pain when faced with this dilemma. What, I'm having this experience, it doesn't make sense. I don't like it, I don't think it's fair, but if I say anything, mom and dad's not gonna be happy. You know, I'm gonna get hushed or slapped at worse. So they're trapped at this point. And what do you go with the, I mean, I can remember having things I've wanted to talk, even about race, wanting to, but knowing that the conversation probably wasn't gonna be welcomed. And so you just don't go, I remember my first major confusion over. So my first major confusion actually was, mother was quite fair skinned, as was her father. And, but it didn't have to with them. It actually had, there was a boy down this block, name was Eugene Payton. I thought he was Italian or something. I mean, you know, he was, and he had that kind of look. And then I went down one day to play with him and there was this older African-American woman on the porch and I went in and I, boy, how the prejudice stuff worked. I assumed, I thought, I immediately thought, housekeeper, boy, that's my classism. That's my classism, I completely own it. And I went back, hey, Eugene, can we play? He said, no, my grandmother's here. And the penny dropped, I must have been about seven or eight. Penny dropped, that was his grandmother and he was black, looked white. And I remember going home and looking in the mirror and looking at mother and actually feeling unfair because I'd already picked up at seven or eight that it wasn't good to be black. Even though mother protested otherwise, I knew differently because, oh society, I mean, why they had all that bleaching cream in Jet Magazine? Wow, that hair straightener in Jet Magazine, you know, I mean, it was not hard to pick up. And I remember, but I knew if I went to mother, this was not gonna be a welcome conversation. So we didn't, I just kind of left, spelt with that confusion on my own. I got talking about it, I can kind of feel it in my stomach. So in response to the dilemma, the child may remain silent, which is what I did and sacrifice their sense of justice and fair play and accept the confusion. Join in in order to win back approval, right? We do that. Narrow their lives to avoid the repeat of the situation and the unbearable sense of shame they care of. So you just, if you don't go certain places, don't do certain things, then you're not, then you can protect yourself by your little bubble. Become fearful of difference. I mean, I think there's a limited number of kind of ways kids would deal with that. And those, I think some of the ways. Miseducation, so this is big. Falsehoods, distortions, omissions, reinforces sense of confusion, further promote isolation. So, well, there's just a lot of falsehoods out there, right? Distortions, omissions, a lot of huge omissions. I mean, what was I talking about yesterday? I mean, I talked about the GI Bill. I mean, none of that appears in the history. You know, about sundown towns, everybody knows about sundown towns, more or less? Well, if you're a person of color, you gotta be out of town. Southern, they had them in Ontario, too. They got them in Ontario, too, down Lemington. Lemington was a sundown town. If you were a person of color, if you're a Native American, you had to be out of town by sundown. Tens of thousands of towns, and not in the South. Not in the South. But they don't tell you that history. I mean, there's all kinds of history stuff that people just don't learn. And therefore, since they don't learn the history, they get real confused, because they can't figure out what's going on, or why it's going on at all. I mean, it's, well, what's wrong with you people? Well, because the table was never even. It was never flat. And then there's all kinds of distortions, and just, I don't need to go on about that. You know what I'm talking about, right? Okay. Whoop, what do I got here? Oh, what does that say? Whoa, white privilege, white privilege. That's the way white privilege works, gang, right? You can, huh? That's the way white privilege, you barely know what's happening, right? We didn't even have the language, you know, we didn't even have to talk about it until what Peggy McIntosh wrote. What's it, wrote, I've got it. White privilege unpacking invisible NAFSA. You know what year that was? 88, 1988. So not until 88, it's what, 25 years ago, we didn't even have language to talk about that. We didn't know how to approach what white privilege meant, and that's just, and she just introduced the concept, though I have to say in the Selma Awakening, in the book, already in Median 65, someone began talking about privilege in a meeting after Selma, and it kind of was like this blip, but someone who had this vague awareness that there was something going on, and use that word to describe it, but it was clear people didn't, they didn't, I don't think really picked up on it. So, what do we, oh, there we go. So, white privilege. White privilege means you don't know what DWB means. Y'all know what DWB means? Okay, how many know what DWB means? Okay, most do you do. Not, okay, okay. Tell them what DWB means, gang. Okay, thank you. Good God, did y'all, were you Unitarians, right? Like William Barber said, you're Unitarians, right? Did you notice he got, he knew it was Parker who said that and not Martin Luther King? Did you pick that up? Boy, he did his homework, actually. Clerks, don't follow you around. You can take pride in your heritage and believe in your behavior and mores are normal. Okay, give me your, so, yeah. So that's what actually, yeah, but I'm gonna say, yeah. It's interesting, you don't even, sometimes you don't even wear your heritage. You just assume your heritage is normative, period, and everything else is other. You don't feel that you represent your race and must be accredited to it. Y'all, you have to do that? Okay, so I, my mother is, my mother is right here. I, my mother, I couldn't go out with her without her reminding me that I was a black person and you know what I'm talking about, right? Right? And you gotta look right, you gotta act right, you gotta, and you gotta act better. You gotta act better. I mean, and this was unreliable. I couldn't get out of the house without that conversation. Couldn't get out of the house without that conversation with mother. And what a burden. What a burden. People don't assume you got your job through affirmative action. Huh? It's true for women too. Yeah, there's a lot of parallels. There's a lot of parallels. And remind me if I jump over them, but I know there's a lot of parallels. And you don't have to educate your children about the black code in order to keep them safe. Y'all know about the black code? Oh, good, goddess. Yeah, you are easy. Let me, we gotta talk about the black code. Let's talk about black code. What's the black mail code? So, okay, so, oh, I was gonna hear. I guess I wanna read before we go into that. So, after Trevon Martin, here, okay. And the month, okay, the black code. The month after Trevon Martin was, Jesse Washington wrote an article. Most of you seen that article? How many have you seen the article? Okay, Danny's seen it. Okay. It's entitled, Trevon Martin, My Son and the Mail Black Code. It begins, I thought my son would be much older before I had to tell him about the mail black code. He's only 12, still sleeping with stuffed animals, still afraid of the dark, but after Trevon Martin's tragedy, I needed to explain to my child that soon people might be afraid of him. So, these are some excerpts from what appeared in that article. Always play close attention to your surrounding sun, especially if you are in an affluent neighborhood where black folks are few. Understand that even though you are not a criminal, some people might assume you are, especially if you're wearing certain clothes. Never argue with police, but protect your dignity and take pride in humility when confronted by someone with a badge or a gun. Do not flee, fight, or put your hands anywhere other than up. People, please don't assume, son, that all white people view you as a threat. America is better than that. Suspicion and bitterness can imprison you, but as a black male you must go above and beyond to show stronger than strangers. What type of people, you person, you really are. So, I've got a couple of stories. So, I go to Thomas and Tulsa, preaching at all souls, very upscale neighborhood. The art museum in town is just around the corner and big monster houses. And I went out for a walk and I had my dreads at that point. And I have to emotionally prepare myself and think about that it's quite possible that I'm gonna run into a police officer and I kinda coach myself beforehand. I mean, this has been the last six years. That's routine for me. So, why is it routine? So, this is in Toronto. I'm in Toronto. I had a support group I was in. It was at a Unitarian's home. And it's upscale neighborhood on the west side. And I got there early, nobody was there. In any case, nobody was there. And I was in jeans, had my dreads again and I'm sitting there waiting. And I'm waiting and waiting and nobody shows up. And then a cop car goes by. Well, yeah, big deal. Until I went by the second time. And then he went by the third time. And he stopped and I have to brace myself. You know, I have to get ready. And he comes up and I say, yes, officer, can I help you? I mean, I put the whole minister, I'm not dressed like a minister, but I, and I know as soon as he hears me, he looks in my eyes, he knows. He knew instantly he needed to extract himself from this situation, but he has to go through with it. And I'm sure some neighbor called. I'm sure some neighbor called. So we go, I said, well, yes, officer, I'm here, I come here every Sunday for pa, ba, na, na. And he said, I have to have your ID. And so he takes my ID. He goes, text, types and the thing. By the time he gets back, the people have arrived. And they're largely white women and they are pissed. They are really, really pissed. And they let in doing. And I couldn't do that gang. I couldn't, I knew I couldn't do that, right? To escalate it. I had to keep it under control. They escalated, anyone can do shit to them. But if I escalated it, you know, huge risk. So I, but I carry that all the time. That's white privilege doesn't don't, you know, that's, that's what my privilege is. You don't carry that with you every minute. And I know 99% of the time nothing's gonna happen, but I don't have a switch. I mean, I've got some mindfulness. I know when it turns on. My, my buddy's, I don't know, Skip Gates. Skip Gates forgot that day and ended up in the White House having beer with Officer Crawley. But I'm like, you know, I'm like, Skip, what are you thinking about, man? You know, you know, he knows better. Colin Powell says, he knows better. Colin Powell said, well, my mother taught me, did you? I don't remember that. Colin Powell said, you know, right? Colin Powell said, my mother told me how to behave. You don't front on a police officer. Yeah, but I don't care where you know. But he forgot, he forgot. That's what's, I think hard for folks to realize that you just, you know, that's inculcated. We know you can't do that because I know who's got the gun. I know who's got the power. I know how to, I can read the badge number. I mean, I can memorize the name, but I'm not gonna front on an officer. Are you out of your mind? Well, he was, I don't know. He was tired and sick and, you know, the rest is history. Let's see, what I got next. So because African-Americans and Euro-Americans every day experience vary so much from one another. What happens? Whites, since it isn't a problem for them, don't see it as a problem. And they don't even talk about it because it's not a problem. What's to talk about? Works for me? It sure does, kinda. Whites are ignorant and confused about race. Yeah, they don't know nothing or they got the wrong information or they get confused because they don't understand it because then again, they can't match their experience with it. I mean, their experience is one. Right, it doesn't. So blacks, though, frequently experience micro, we're gonna talk about microaggression a moment. So micro, which is going on all the time and blacks have a tendency to see everything problem as an issue of race. So I should, so I mean, how often do we think of race every day? How many times a day? All the time. You two? All day every day. All day every day, okay? You two? You don't think about race? Okay, okay, how often do y'all think of race? And you do too. How about y'all think of race? Once a week? What, once a day? No, you're married to a black man. You do, okay, okay. I mean, if you got a reason to, right? But otherwise, again, that's where you get to kinda, what, is it a problem? Oh, if you're black, it's just, and they think we're racializing everything. So it looks like we're the problem because it looks like we're racializing everything, but the fact is the world is racialized and we experience it and white folks don't. That's it. So, but you see how the difficulty in communicating then, because we've got these two fundamentally different experiences that, and then we don't talk because a lot of folks live in isolation and even if you know one another, we're often not comfortable enough to have the conversations where you might discover what it's like. So people with, yeah, married to black folks or hanged with black folks, they actually know. They actually know, because they've been in there deeply enough. What's that? Ergo, white sphere, blacks are, oh, it says exaggerating. Right, that's what I'm saying. They feel exaggerating. You're making a big deal out of something that should be no deal, because actually, aren't we all equal? We know we're all equal. We're equal. Aren't you equal? Yeah, yeah, they tell us, this is America, right? So what do we got next? Whoop, the new face of racism. Okay, microaggression. Microaggression is a form of unintended discrimination is depicted by the use of known social norms and behavior or expressions that while without conscious choice of the user and has the same effect as conscious, unattended discrimination. Anybody want to speak to what microaggression looks like? You want to talk to it? Everybody's singing? Anybody got any examples? I mean, I got, yeah, go ahead. Someone speak, go up. Go to, talk to about microaggression. We gotta go to Mike so people can hear. Chip. So a good friend, person of color, walks toward the elevator and the white lady there moves her purse to the other side and clutches it tightly, right? Right. And they've done studies like that. Come on up, if you guys, they've done studies like that where people have attested one thing and then they film them and they do exactly that. They move the purse to the other side even though they've said something differently right before that. I mean, they set these things up. Go ahead. So in working in the corporate world, having someone tell me after knowing me for a couple of weeks, wow, I didn't realize you were so smart. Oh, the one that always gets me is that, well, everybody knows. So if the address is, some of Thera's gonna be at the club. So, you know, everybody but you. I didn't grow up with you. Thank you. Woman enters, white woman enters elevator. Black male enters elevator. Woman leaves elevator. Right. Across the street, as the case may be. Yes. I'm gonna go through these real quick. So my hair is straight right now but usually it's curly in this natural state. So can I touch your hair? I just got it. It probably wasn't intentional but oh, you said that's articulately or you get a B on your paper because you couldn't have possibly wrote that. I'm not gonna keep going, okay? Okay, that's just a sample, huh? My husband went to Oxford. He doesn't sound black. He's handed the keys when he's waiting for his car and asked to get other people's cars at restaurants. My daughter, who's mocha colored when she's two, I speak Spanish to her and only speak Spanish to her and someone said to me, where's she from? And I said, she's from me and she said, no, she's not. They then asked me how much she cost, where did I get her from? Oh yeah, yep. So it's continual when Dave and I are together, everyone says good morning to him because they're proving they're not racist. Well, I walk around, they don't say good morning to me. So it's a microaggression world. Right, but you imagine this all the time. Right, yeah. I think when whites consistently use terms like dark, black, et cetera, refer to something as refer to negative or evil or not positive or threatening. Right. Happens all the time. Right. Oh God, you guys remind me so many things. So on that one, if you've been in the storm so long, I know I'm selling my books, but I don't care. There's a great thing, dark and black and white dark, dark and light, light and dark by Jackie James that addresses exactly that issue. And if I had it, I'd read it to you because what it shows how deep this stuff is because our language is loaded. Jackie went through the entire hymnal and could not find one affirmative mention. This is the old hymnal, sorry. Hymns for the celebration of life, the blue one, could not find one affirmative mention of black or dark. She found dozens of negative references to black and darkness, not one. That's where we went through putting the new hymnal together just to balance the language. But that's, so what does that do to your consciousness? What does that do to your consciousness? One, you need, if that's another workshop I do, you know, there's not one reading. There's not one gospel. There's not one spiritual in that old hymnal. One they did right after Merger 62, 63. Nothing about black culture. You got Gandhi in there, you got Kabir in there, you got Lao Tse in there. You got nothing by an African American. Not one word, not one reading, not one hymn. But this is what happens, huh? That's not in there. No, no, it's not in there. It's in, you know, the place that first appeared and you think the stuff is in the one they did in Los Angeles, how can we keep them singing? That's where it first appears. There's nothing. But you see, that works on consciousness. When that's the language, it just reinforces this other stuff floating out in society and just reinforces, just holds it in place and by its associations, negative associations with black and darkness. The other place we've got a sermon Jackie delivered a sermon at the UUA Chapel and that's in darkening the doorways, the entire sermon where she discusses and it's titled, Is There No Beauty in Darkness? I have a little more, I was talking about this stuff in Cleveland and a woman who's been a long time Unitarian sent this note to me. My experience there as a long time member is that members are still asking me, oh, so where do you live? And mistaking me for one or the other of the few women of color in the congregation. And that actually, so that reminded me of, she wrote me this and that reminded me I had a conversation with a man in Reading who was furious, because everybody kept mistaking him for this other man. He pointed at the other man across from him. He didn't look, nothing, a light gang, I mean, nothing. And then in Toronto, oh, here we go, you know. So there was a Gloria, sorry, Elizabeth lived and was a member of Toronto First, Gloria was a member in Ottawa. And every time we had national meetings, people couldn't keep Elizabeth and Gloria clear and they would keep, and so whenever I'd see Gloria, I'd say, oh, hi, Elizabeth. And every time I see it, this is how we deal with microaggression, we make fun of it because we knew what we were doing. I'd say, Elizabeth, I'd say, oh, hi, Gloria. I'd say, Gloria, I say, hey, Elizabeth. And then we have our laugh and then we go on because it was bound to happen. So that's, oh, another microaggression happens and this real unconscious, I can go on. How do African Americans dress when they go to church gang? Oh, yeah, y'all, you probably noticed if you went to church with us on Thursday night, African Americans tradition is to dress up, right? You dress up. I mean, you have to think about these, probably largely working class people, you know, wear uniforms and what do you want to do? How do you want to present yourself to your community and your God on Sunday? What do you want to do? You want to dress up. How do we dress? We dress now. Now, we're not bad people because of that because most of we have white college jobs, right? And how do we bring our authentic self? You dress casual, not just because you want to be you. You don't want to be in your business uniform. But what happens when an African American walks in that door and sees all these Priests in the parking lot and people dressed down? Like, before they get in, they already know, actually, if they scan the parking lot. But Susan, from that door, they all of a sudden, the emotional feeling is, oops. Oops. And we're not even, and since you're in the box, we're in the box, we don't even think about it. We don't even go far enough to think, maybe we ought to ask our greeters and our ushers to dress up. You know, maybe not everybody else, but maybe that's part of the job description that if you're a greeter and usher, you just dress a little more nicely because it may be somebody, and probably this is true with working class and other people too, who are going to come to church a little dressed and it might ease their way in. But again, when you're inside the box, you don't do that, and you don't experience this microaggression. But when there's, I mean it doesn't even, you know, when these little microaggressions are coming all the time, it kind of wears you down, and you try to keep yourself out of those situations. So we get confused why white black folks don't show up. Well, it's either if so used to it, we don't notice it anymore, or the folks disappear. Okay, let's see, what do I got there? Oh, liberals, liberals. So I'm shifting gear here a little bit. So, because we want to do right. I didn't know a question we want to do right. An attempt to bolster, how am I doing it? Okay, an attempt to bolster our ego. How much time do I have? Boy, am I, oh I can go forever, but I, 4.15? It was two hours. Oh no, shit, oh God, you know, oh God, it's how stereotypical. Okay, I'm going to drop one piece of what I was going to do, but we'll keep going here. An attempt to bolster our egos, we often find our values in others' actions, rather than in value in our actions, rather than our inherent worth. What's our inherent worth in dignity and goodness? Worth and goodness. I am good because why I do good rather than I am inherently good. It's a form of neo-puretinism. So we pretended that we gave up, we no longer puretins, but it's bullshit. It's, you know, I mean, I know how you read, we grew up, the first principal, what's the first principal gang? Worth and dignity of every person, right? And then we go dot, dot, dot, and you all fill that in. You know, if I'm a good, if I'm an activist, I'm good. If I do this, I'm good. You all got, there's all kinds of qualifiers on there, but you look, there's no qualifiers on there. The only qualifiers on there in here. That's where the qualifiers, and I know you, I know you've got them. So part of our activism is connected with doing good. It's tricky, it's a bit dangerous. I'll come back, I'm gonna come back. Because, okay, I'm gonna start with that. I'll come back to that, and I'm gonna say it. So the trouble is the activism is attached to what then? Guilt and self, right? It's not attached to the person it's attached to you feeling good about yourself while you're pretending that you're doing it for the other person. That's the problem with do-goodism. Are you with me on that? That's the problem. And it's the sleight of hand that we do it ourselves. I mean, it's this kind of thing we do it ourselves. We fool ourselves. I'm activist and therefore I'm good. No, you're good whether you're an activist or not. Okay, you're good whether you're an activist or not. You're good whether you're a baby. You're good whether you're 90. It doesn't have nothing to do with inherent worth and dignity. Nothing at all. But we attach, especially us in midlife who think we need to outdo this stuff, we attach our actions to our goodness. And that's why we're still puritan and in denial. You see, there's up there. Okay, you all know Bill, right? Bill Schultz wrote, guilt deals cruelly with vision. Guilt may initiate action, but we cannot sustain the work if we remain mired in feelings of shame. Eventually, we'll either distance ourselves from the ego corroding acid of shame or become addicted to the moonshine of feeling holier than thou, okay. So it's got, it's got, ill guilt doesn't go far. Actually, Barbara, Reverend Barbara, when he was up here, I did a turn on this, I think. He phrased it, I think, affirmatively rather than the negative. He talked about the restoration of imagination. I think that's what he mentioned, this restoration. So that's the flip end of this. He says, cruelly with vision, that is, you don't have vision that comes out of guilt. Guilt's like, guilt's pretty self-involved, actually. It's like, ooh, I did something, I'm great. Vision is actually expansive, vision is relational. And so I think it was just a, he turned the fray. He just took a different approach, but I think it's the same idea. Boop, ooh, boy. I can't, I said, that didn't work too well. Let's see if I can. My eyes are still somewhat good. So it's his healing. The real issue is healing. Our motivation is to feel whole. Again, not doing good for them, but healing oneself. This is spiritually rooted in the intuition that we are deeply connected in that, in healing ourselves, we work to heal the world as well. Thank you. So, here I had another exercise, which we were not gonna do, because it was gonna be this meditation from Wendell Berry, but this is what I have to say. That it's a little confusing because most white folks don't think of yourselves of being hurt by racism, and that this piece I was gonna read by Bender Warrie talks about how he finally realized how he had been wounded by racism, and that it was the mirror image of the wound that African-Americans carry. Different, but nonetheless there, and very deep, and he realized to be whole, he had to go into this place that he had avoided motion, so it was adult's life. It makes you fearful and keeps you unconscious because you don't wanna go there. What is, how does it do? It keeps you out of relationships you might have built that, relationships that might have enriched your life because you were fearful and wounded. It lets you build lives, and you sense yourself on false assumptions. This is what it does, okay? You let you build your lives on false assumptions. So, and the nice thing about it is you can do this work anytime because it's your wounds. It's you beginning to mine your experience and actually look a little harder and gathering more information, and actually realizing that everyone's wounded by racism, not just black folks. And as you do this work, what does it say, you're gonna fall on your face? Can't help it. I mean, if you were a child learning to walk, you'd expect to fall on your face. They don't learn how to walk without falling on their faces. So in this work, work mistakes are inevitable. So enjoy making, I mean, why the hell? You're gonna do them. So might as well enjoy making them. See them as the learning opportunities that they are. It's the only way to learn. I mean, has anyone else learned how to do anything except making a mistake and then making another mistake and another mistake? Certainly, if you're right. I mean, I edit and edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit. But I think everything is like that. What are we doing? I'm like, wait, basketball, tennis, ski? I mean, what do you do? Learn a language? I mean, what is it you do where you don't make mistakes? You tell me and learned anything. I don't think it's not possible. And so we're supposed to deal with racism, with all this other stuff behind it and learn how to be comfortable on crossing borders in a multicultural world and not make mistakes? I don't think so. I don't think so. So you just get, in my eyes, I said, you know, you gotta make them what's to be scared of. What's the option? Retreat. Retreat again. Well, that's pretty boring actually. We live in our little boxes then that's kind of, well, it's kind of dead, frankly. So, fall on your face. And since you know, it's hard for, actually it's real hard for us. I think, because we don't have a God there to catch us. We don't have a God there to catch us. I think it's different for some other folks. Your approach, be led by your heart and a desire for connection rather than ideology. You know, but I'm gonna come back. Let's see what I got next. Okay, no, okay, I'll come on. So you know about ideology. Trouble with ideology is what are you trying to do? What are you trying to achieve? Where's the idea? It's out there and that's what we're trying to aspire to. But does it have anything to do with our relationship? Is it what we come up with together? No, it doesn't have anything to do with our relationship and you're either right or wrong. You're either inside the ideological box or you're not. So I was just talking about yesterday. We choose right belief over right relationship. So at the close of the UUA board meeting in Selma, Don Harrington read these words from Howard Zen, the SNCC, right? The New Abolitionist. It was a history of the founding of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee. Why don't y'all read it together? Finally, all boils down to human relationships is the question of whether I shall go on living in isolation or whether there shall be a we. Love alone is radical. Political statements are not. Programs are not. Even going to jail is not. Love alone is radical. Boy, does he hear these echoes? Who's talking about we today? Barbara was talking about we, wasn't she? And so was, and I was talking about, and what's CT Vivian? Oh, was Bomba talking about we? Okay, I mean, you hear these echoes? This is not accidental. Because this is the truth. This is the truth. Build relationships, that's, I mean, that's what I've said yesterday. I spent 40 minutes doing, but it's about building relationships to one another. It's what will take us forward as opposed to, and yeah, as opposed to embracing ideology or doing good. Robert Latham, another colleague. We, why don't you read it again? We'll keep you guys working here. We can cherish all our individual diversities as we like, but it will be those essentials we share in common that will empower us to transform the world as we wish it to become. So the diversities actually make our lives rich. Individually, different groups, I mean, kids like, we all like different things, but it's the things we work out together. It's back to the we, right? It's back to the things we have in common and the things we do together that will transform the world. Again, these just echoes, you hear this over and over and over. If you leave nothing else, those are the themes that you're gonna carry with you. Boy, that green was a mistake. Be hopeful. Knowing that the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice, work in complete confidence rather than earnestness. That's the advantage of that. I mean, if we were in the Christian tradition, what we'd say, it was G, you know, we had to get to them the service. You say Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior. But we know the arc of the universe bends towards justice. So why be earnest about it? We know where it's headed over the long span. Are you with? I mean, don't, I think if you want to say forget your life spans, it's too small. You know, if you're lucky, you might, I mean, it's a miracle for some folks that Obama was elected. But often that's too short of life. You need to give up, I mean, this is kind of Buddhism. You got to give up your ego stuff and being attached to hearing now and look at things in big sweeps. There's no way from Jamestown in James, you know, Jamestown 1619 to get here when the first, you know, English settlers were there and the Africans came in and the Native Americans were there. There's no way to get from 1619 to this day. You can't foresee. But the arc, the arc is gone. You can't get from 1965 to 2015 and imagine how this has changed. I walk around, I remember when I was a kid, I was gone flying down here. First time, and I have to admit, I had a privilege of bragging. First time I was on a plane was, I was probably 10 or 11. So it was probably 1959 and we flew Viscount. That's what they had back then to DC. That's what my dad's parents were. And then we took a, and we took a boat to Europe in 62. I can't, there were no black folks. I mean, dad and dad was worth it. He said there was, there were no black folks and there's the places he went and he did. There just weren't exist. You can't go into an airport now. You just can't, there's black folks every place, the pilot. You know, it's a she or it's an African. I mean, you can't, if we get so caught up but if I just look in my lifespan of 60 years, it's almost unrecognizable and almost unimaginable. I remember you'd go to Chicago, out in our hair field and you go to the airport and every time you saw a black person, you nod. You nod, cause you know, you're only gonna see a couple of us at most, right? Hey, now you're going like this all the time. And they think you're effing crazy, right? I mean, who are you? So, and we get, I mean, it's not, I'm gonna say the day is good but it's not yesterday. And that doesn't help to get, keep that confused either, to pretend that it's like it, you know, like it is now, like it was, cause it wasn't and it's never going back. Okay, we're gonna end up, so I'm more or less on time. God, that's, my Canadian wife trained me to be on time. So, let's gonna say this together. You know, Joe Cherry, here's our minister in Cleveland society, so I should say, well, I'll talk a little bit about Joe, just a moment, just you know. So Joe is a Polish father and Hispanic mother and he's the only person in his family that looks white. Now you care that it's not easy, it's not easy. And then, so Joe has to listen to people say terrible shit about Hispanics cause they don't know what he is when they look at him. I mean, that's, that's, that's that unconscious stuff and it's quite pervasive. So, so, but you get to work on it. So I'm gonna say have fun with it and get to notice and cry about it and laugh about it and make mistakes and all these other things. Cause there's no other way to do it, right? Just kind of wade into it and things. It's gonna change anyhow, gang. So you just might as well, I'm gonna say play in it but just give it, earnestness doesn't keep me. I don't wanna talk about earnestness, I'll get carried away. So I mean, what happens when you do something and you're earnest about it? How do you do it? You know, you're tight, you're serious, you know, this is, I mean, it's not, I just, it's not the way. That's why music is so great. And because, you know, music lifts you up and it can make you cry but it enters into you in a whole different way. It doesn't have this earnest quality to it. So I just don't go away earnest either. And I don't know if some folks get mad at me, no serious business, people are dying. Yeah, that's true but being earnest is not gonna help them. Okay, let's do this together. If we have any hope of transforming the world and changing ourselves, we must be bold enough to step into our discomfort, brave enough to be clumsy there, loving enough to forgive ourselves and others. May we as a people of faith be granted the strength to be so bold, so brave, and so loving. Blessed be, thank you for coming. Thank you.