 Hi shoes seven and big. Okay, so I know I've been in my for a while, but I'm back. Okay, so today I want to tell y'all about Not being so Cleanly, okay ladies when you are in a relationship when you are trying to get into a relationship when you are dating You do not need to be clingy. Okay? This is the first sign of insecurity When a woman is too clingy always wants to call you text you know where you are Wants to do stuff with you. Even if you already have plans tries to get you to break on This is called being too clingy. Okay, and this is a red flag This is a red flag for many things Okay, when a man knows that you're clingy, he knows that you can take advantage of you very easily because you are clingy, okay, he also knows that You're probably going to be able to do anything for him and he also knows that he's not going to be able to Do what he wants to do By telling you the truth. Okay, so this sets your relationship up already for lies and trickery. Okay, so When you enter into a relationship or when you first start dating or you're in a relationship You don't need to be clingy. You need to have something to do. You need to have a hobby You need to have friends on your own that are not associated with him or his friends You need a night or you know an activity to do without him at least once or twice a week Okay, you need to not Be all of under him all the time If there's you know Don't always sit by him and cuddle with him sit on the next chair at let him ask you to come over Okay. Oh, why are you sitting way over there come over here? If you're always on him? You know, he can't breathe. He can he's gonna get tired of you faster. He's gonna like clingy So always let him invite you to sit next to him Like if you sit next to him don't sit so close and sit on the other side of the couch or just you know Let him say well, what are you doing way over there? Come over here. Don't don't Get so close to him or he can't even ask you to get closer You know I'm saying because at that point he's probably wishing you would move Okay And a lot of women make this mistake. They are so in love so infatuated So in la la land that they forget that they're smothering someone. Okay, so it is very important ladies I don't care if you don't have plans or not make plans do something by yourself Go to the mall go walk around but do not try to smother this person or this man in the relationship Because that's how it ends fast. Okay, you can't just smother someone with all this attention and expect them to stay Interested, you know for a long amount of time So also if you're one of those ladies that always have to know what your man is when he's doing who he's calling That's understandable, but you don't need to let that be known, you know, if you're gonna Inquire about those things do it in secret. Don't let him know that you're doing it Don't ask him all the time where you are Let him tell you you know I'm saying don't tell him where you are let him ask you. Okay, because a lot of times These are red flags, you know and a guy will not commit to a woman who's always questioning him Where you been what you doing da da da da and I know a lot of women will say oh these are signs that she cares about you That's true But you don't want to give that away too fast You don't want to let you them know that you're so concerned with them that you have to know where they are Every second of the day, you know And I'm gonna tell y'all something Men and women are gonna do what they're gonna do Anyway, so it doesn't matter if you're keeping tabs on them know where they are doing this Isn't that they're gonna find a way to do what they want to do anyway. It's that's what they want to do Okay Usually people that have more freedom or flexibility and not as smothered are more eager to get back To their girlfriend or boyfriend or spouse. Okay, because they don't feel smothered. They don't feel pressured They're not gonna get drilled at the door where you've been who you've been with, you know So they're more comfortable to come home. They're more comfortable to be on time They're more comfortable to tell you things that you didn't ask and volunteer information and tell you about their day without Fear of you getting jealous and say well, why didn't you tell me and why didn't you invite me? You know, so all this insecurity All this clinginess has to go out of the window if you want a successful relationship with a man, okay? And ladies, I always suggest that you get a man who you look better than who a man who will want to be with you More than you want to be with them This is gonna cut out a lot of the suspicion anyway because you know, oh, he can't do no better than me You know, and if he is I can do way better than him So it's not really something that you're overly concerned with you know what I mean So this is why I think a lot of relationships fail It's because there's too much control like once a woman Feels like she has a relationship with this guy or once a guy feels like they have a relationship with the woman They start to put their claws in and it becomes too much for one of you know A lot of people are free spirits a lot of people don't like to be bound You know a lot of people just got at their parents house and trying to be free and now, you know Now they have a second mom and they can't you know like their girlfriend telling them where they can go When they can go this is and they don't want that especially young guys They want to be free to explore to do this this this and that this is why I would say if you're trying to commit don't get a young guy There's they're just Spreading their wings. You're not gonna get some 22 year old 23 year old 24 year old 25 year old 26 year old 27 year old 28 year old 29 you're not gonna get anybody in their 20s trying to get married Okay, so job ladies forget that okay, let them have fun if you want to get married go for an older guy, okay? Have you ready to settle down have your kids move to the suburbs? Go get you an older guy because these young guys. They're not ready to settle down I don't care how much in love you are with them. There's always that freedom that That they crave and they're not going to rush to settle down with someone unless they're desperate and need a place to live Okay Most guys do not mature as fast as women and want to settle down for families They still want to go on adventures have fun. See what else is out there. Okay, they don't have this biological clock like women So they're not in a rush to settle down so Putting that pressure on a younger person is just gonna push them away You know if you're really serious and you're like look I'm 25 26 27 I'm trying to get married go get you an older man at least in late 30s early 40s They're ready. Okay, they've already been there done that You know been to the clubs explored seen options have a good career by now And they're they're ready to go ahead and settle down. Okay And plus their maturity level is probably going to be the same as yours because women do Mature a lot faster as far as you know wanting to settle down get their life at a certain point Okay, so this is like very Important, you know if a lot of people that get married at this, you know, who are the same age or close to the same age You know, it works out sometimes But sometimes it doesn't because you grow apart you want to do different things, you know You one wasn't ready and you know, there's too much um There's like a gap Of you know maturity level one is more responsible than the other So you have to take all that into consideration. Okay, and being clingy you know makes Makes people not want to even be with you. Okay Um when they see you come and they're like, oh god And then they'll start to push you away and you'll feel like something is wrong or they're cheating or something But really they just need to breathe Okay, um a lot of women are just naturally Like want to give affection and nurture and just hold someone And get a pen. Okay. You want to hold and you want to you feel this urge to squeeze and hug kiss something go get a pen and Spare this person because I have seen this type of thing ruin so many relationships People are very uncomfortable with clingy people and I know I would be you know if Unless I was just as in love and as infatuated and just You know the same type of personality this person was clingy to me and we were clingy to each other That doesn't last very long. Okay, and After that feeling is gone You can't still be there and they don't feel that way. You got to kind of back up give space Make them wonder about you make them wonder what you're doing have them call you instead of you calling them all the time You know what I mean? um Women get very obsessive when they get a partner because they oh, this is the one this is the one I'm gonna marry you they say this about everyone they meet. Okay And then a lot of times they're disappointed they put too much effort into it They put too much stock into it. They put too much planning into it and then they mess it up The man is opposed to chase you ladies. You're not supposed to Do any you know Of this and still be seen as you know Oh, this is the woman I want to marry. She's always over me all over me. She's clingy. She asked me everywhere I go. No, that's not what they're gonna say. They're gonna say dang I need to get out of this relationship so I can be free. I feel like I'm back at my mom's house, you know So ladies give your man space. Okay, if they're gonna cheat they're gonna cheat anyway There ain't nothing you can do about it. Okay Nothing Okay, if you're gonna cheat you're gonna cheat. There's nothing they can do about it But if they miss you if they want to see you if they ask where you are if they Say come sit next to me. That means they want you and they're Looking for you and they are asking you to become closer to them instead of pushing you away. Okay, so it's better not to be too clingy In the beginning of a relationship as well as in the relationship If you are codependent, you need to get a pet You need to get a friend because this ruins more relationships than anyone a lot of people. Oh, I can't do this by myself Oh, I need I need someone I need to get it. No, if you're not happy and Fulfilled within yourself, no one will ever make you happy You will always be Have a void in you and you will always be looking for someone to feel it who can't Only you can feel that void and if you look for it by being clingy with someone else, you're just going to be Pushed away even further and your feelings are going to be hurt even worse. Okay ladies, so Don't make this mistake. Get you some friends. Get you a pet Get you a life The man is supposed to be the added bonus to improve your life. That's someone you need to Depend on for emotional support 24 hours a day and always be touching and know where they are, you know that Most parents don't even have that type of close relationship with their kids And then you're gonna put this on some man. That's crazy. You know what I'm saying? You need to be able to let go and trust even though you can't really ever trust anybody you need to at least Give them the benefit of the doubt because they're gonna cheat anyway. They're gonna find a way They will lie to you if they cheat if they don't cheat but What they value is their option and their freedom Not to have to report back to someone or Worry about coming home and getting cussed out because oh, you didn't answer your phone That's crazy. Okay, and let me tell you I'm I'm older. I've been in Relationships. I've been married forever All that where you've been what you're doing. Don't work out. Don't even worry about it, you know Let them ask you that when you walk through the door Flip the script. All right, I'll see y'all on my next video Thank you guys so much for watching if you're new subscribe if you have any ideas for a video topic Put them in the comments and see y'all later. Bye