 It is a beautiful day and we feel really lucky and blessed to be alive. At least I do, don't you? Plus it, Afkan, season hashtag Y254afkan. Again, just in case you did not hear me there last time. Nyongaze volu mama tuneru de hashtag Y254afkan. We are showing the game live. It will be at the Cairo International Stadium. Yani, gei ita kwenyesha, ita kwa Y254 from 8 p.m. Don't miss it. It's a date between you and me, all right? Na shangiliana ni. Na oli kuna ni imbe predictioniako. It's between Uganda and Zimbabwe. Tell me who you think you win. I mean, really. Dotele keleka kitu angalao tufkuzeri ni. You know what I mean, right? Yeah. My name is Sovalentine, or at Colonyville. And you can find us on Y254 Facebook, Y254 channel on Twitter. Hashtag is Y in the morning. Now I want to talk to my ladies. And today we are talking about red flags. What is a red flag? Let's go, let's figure out what you want to say. Kuna king, kuna swag, yo. Let's start over here. Hi. Hi, Vau. How are you? Kwa po ha? Kwa na kwa ita na ni kwa. Thank you. Yeah, so I'm Grace Ngege. I am a PR specialist and a content creator on the side. Yeah. Bitu kuba kuba karebuko. Just try, just try. Yeah, so you can find me on all social media platforms at kishgrace. Also you can subscribe to my YouTube channel at kishgrace. Oh, you have tutorials up in there? No, really. I just talk about stuff. Amani kum tu ndo nijone. Yeah, just go there. Teza kawa yupia. King was good. Hi, hi, Valentine. So fresh tall. Thank you, thank you ma'a. Anuskun monap kwa pete. Oh. Shri be kiss the ring. The ring on the dawn. Sultan kind of. Thank you, thank you. That's so sorry. Radha. Radha Safi. Yes, please. Okay, my name is Victor Zyuko. Creative artist. Has loved the year. You can sell water to a well. Wow. So yeah, thank you for having me today. Also smooth talker. Also smooth talker. You sound like you about to have red flags also. What do you mean by red flags? We'll get to it in a short while. Queen was good. Thank you. Your message? Niye tu amaniyanani? Forever or never? Niye tu? Ameli kuatu accident? Gizunia kilam tu. It's very fitting for cross talk. Exactly. I'm Lorraine, a student tale. I'm hoping to finish school. On social media, Lorraine Yanaro Facebook and Yanaro Lorraine on Instagram at Lorraine Yanaro Twitter. All right, so you know the drill. You know how we do it. We have a couple of slides put up for you that we are going to show in a bit. And I will really, we would really appreciate your feedback. So why do I form Facebook again? Why do I put channel on Twitter? Hashtag is what in the morning. Hashtag, what to buy for Afgan. So guys, what is a red flag? What do you think a red flag is? Well, for me, I define red flags as those signs or those small, small things that you see that tell you that it's time to pack your bags and call it quits. That is what I define red flags. So what do you think a red flag is? To me, a red flag. Let's have it in Kisweli, bende ranyekhundu. Okay. Those are just petty signs. Okay, they are petty, but they are serious signs in our relationship or in anything you are doing or to see if it will work out or not to work out for you. Kabla rina kwa Victoria Miwi naijuwa red flag. Kisa manabalsini red card. But red card niku umetoka. Agu iyo yellow ni warning red is z. So are we saying it's the warning signs amma they are just... What do you think red flag means? Red flags. First of all, let me start by saying all my girls love me. Eish. So red flags. Yeah, yeah, they love me. So red flags. Nama kwa mese ma red flag o redi. That is a red flag, what you have just said. Oh. So yeah, red flags. I'm thinking basically like is hotel signs unanza kwa mbe o ume unapigasim yo bing told eh, I'm a bit busy. I'm normally go out on certain days but today I'm kind of busy. So I'm thinking da kuna kasponsa someone started sending Oh my gosh, guys have red flags too. messages and yeah, yeah, we do have red flags. Come on this. It's kinda cute though. It's Kenya, it's Kenya baby. That's fine. Alright, so we defined red flag as you can see on the slide coming up. We defined red flags as warning signs of danger like yo, there's a problem. Check it out, check it out. It's not everything is okay. We need to fix something. And we came up with a couple of scenarios but you tell me, give me one of your personal red flags. Ok, skia yuko. Kami is communication. Communication is very important in all relationships. So if the way we used to talk and communicate goes down a bit and I start noticing some little things in communications that for me is assigned to work. Yeah, what's one of your red flags? One of my red flags I'd say is oh no, just weird vibes. We normally call each other, talk kawaida but all of a sudden you're not picking up my calls. And you don't want to hang out though you used to. So I think that's a red flag for me. You call and they're very short with you. Yeah, they're like man, you can just feel the vibe through the phone. You can just feel the vibe through the phone. Situmalize story. What's one of your red flags? For me a red flag mostly is when someone is picking their calls. It's saying like maybe before they call you are so constable you just accept the calls right there but now because they are standing and they're picking up your calls. What are you doing with the red flag? So this is what we call when someone is picking up your calls and you don't want to hang out with them. All right, so here we go. What is a red flag? A red flag is used as a warning of danger. So this is, I don't know if it's the universe or your partner kind of, is it subconscious or it's intentional? Is it really? Is it low key like this, yeah? What are some of it? It's okay, continue. Keep giving me, keep giving me. I appreciate you. White 544 Facebook and White 544 channel onto the hashtag is a why in the morning. I kind of feel but anything that I eat drunk and lucky don't go mwisho. Red flag kwa ngo squeeze it's no more like one red flag like this it's done. It's a wrap like. Bye. The first team to go on Afghan even just a red flag me mwa ambiari. Bye. See you, see you. At a second chance, akuna. There are certain red flags you can't play with. If you find someone who is who let's say cheats on you and is okay with cheating on you. In fact, I mwa kwa mbe tu pole ju me jam, siya tiali he is sorry that he cheated on you and he will do it again and again and again. In fact, experience is the best teacher. So the way he cheated on you this first time mukam shika sasa shacha rafomila. Okay, alina shika jiai story. Okay, paitagora. So if I do like this ya, so now I won't get caught. Imagine we're not that smart. Saita, nime wa ona. Yeah, these guys can pretend for a whole three, three, four years just pretending to be good. Wewe. Give me another slide. Give me, give me, give me. Give me another slide. So, case scenarios. He has a terrible temper and gets violent with you. He has a very, very bad temper and gets violent with you. And this is maybe the first time it won't be ati with you. Maybe mndapukau tili you've ordered for food and the waiter maybe spilled something on his branshu nushoos. Yay, kelele. His temper comes out, smoke is coming out of his ears and he is suddenly very violent. He wants to fight everyone. Do you know who I am? Very expensive shoe. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Do you think that's a red flag? Yes, it is. And Val, that is one of those that we said that you see it once and you walk away because we've seen so many cases of people in relationships getting violent and they lead to so many bad things that we know of. So if someone has anger issues, violence and all, they should first of all deal with themselves, you see. So if you see that, I think it's really important for you to just give yourself some time, give them some time, let them deal with their anger issues and their violence because really it will get worse when you are in a maybe somewhere mkopeke enu and then something happens. What if he feels it's not an issue? What if he comes and tells you you're the one who's blowing it out of proportion? Like I was ready to get upset and this is how I get mad you deal with it or you don't. Okay, with guys, they always want to blame the ladies when it comes to their anger and mostly you will say when we dating people, we should look at the relationship with their moms. So why would you be so violent over the, I call it like a spill on your shirt. We basically will kill, we like at the end of the day we will clean the shirt. So I find it like for a lady if you have a guy over the issues, he's already here, he just walk out. It doesn't really have to be. You can't fix him, actually say you can't fix someone at that point. And you know, you think he loves you so much he'll never do such a thing to you. You tell yourself that he can't do that to you. So what do you mean he can't do that to you? It has already happened. I say ma'am, you've seen him being violent with someone and then you assume it's just because maybe I'll come and kill you but you don't know the whole story. Then one day he will high five your face. Baby, high five. But if it happens with someone else one thing we should know is we're not any different. Even if as much as we're dating we're not any different. At some point he'll forget that he loved you or that that anger will just take the better part of him and it's going to be you and it's going to be high five. Constantly. And then it's a cycle. He high fives your face and next he's going to lift you with his foot. Then he'll say sorry and that sorry will be sorry there will be tears involved there will be flowers whatever you like. Gift, actually yes, that's what happened. You get a lot of gifts and they're like sorry. And then you stay where baby, karada. Tell us. First things first. So ready to get into this. Let's not play the bling. Blame the entire family. The guys see devil. True story. Let me give you a true story. Where I live after like two weeks as Jaisha those are girls beaten seriously with a girlfriend. Seriously. I wish wasongu ahom na jwokinu oniwa no na chek. Whom say like dense scarf is so like hookinambles to the violence and guys to meet kwa ones. Yes, it's rare but it happens. So let's not. Okay. So it's also a red flag. If you see her. But if violence involved just step out. Like coming from both sides just step out. Yes, not worth it. If you're listening and say if she's violent if she's violent just step out. Let's make love not war man. Aish. Apu kwa love niko tusawa na wewe. All right. So we have scenario number two. He emotionally blackmails you. He emotionally blackmails you. Maybe like anakpati atu not nice things that he oh when you maybe you get fed up and say you know what I'm tired. I'm done. I am through. Kidok dogo atas kwanakutaka. Atan kwanakati asistako. Ni wei tu leji force. In fact, I am just dating you because we lili atu ka insist unataka tu kuwa girlfriend. That's the only reason. Guys, how do we deal with that? And you know it's it's it's funny now and it could be funny when someone you don't really care about tells it to you. You have no use for the opinion but when someone you cared about or you're just trying to separate yourself from says that to you. Don't you think it would hurt a bit? It does. Actually it hurts. Yeah, like with pop of violence it doesn't have to be physical. There is emotional torture. You see so if you're in a relationship and you find out that this guy is just blackmailing. You know, it does a lot to your inner self and people may not notice but to you you just have to realize what it is doing to you first. So if you realize that you're in a relationship and you're going through emotional abuse just walk away. It's a red flag. It is. Maybe on the same breath of abuse before we get to you, queen. I want to shift it a bit to make it psychological. I once and I learned just the other day that if I share my experience maybe someone else will have a moment they will come to their senses. There was once I was seeing someone a situation ship. My my daddy had just died. He was killed. So I was in a very dark place but umsa li kwanani cheza. I was played like a Spanish guitar guys. Spanish guitar. And I'd go and confront and like yo I can see this and this. He'd be like no you're just in your head. It's because you're depressed. What kind of person does that yo? Ham na utu? Meaning? Am I supposed to take his side? I want you to help me understand. Understand that. Okay. Well what I can say is sometimes to be honest guys sujoku sense sujoku sense vulnerability. Sujoku sense like I can tell when you're sad when you need some comfort you know. So it's all about you being smart. Like so uli sema like you are depressed. So I'm thinking yo that's what you've expressed. That was nilianda off I was on autopilot. So I'm thinking you must have figured out this is an easy target. Ah ladies are you listening queens? Are you taking notes? Shinda shinda toa pwemi. Oh I'm sorry guys nimo yubi asiri. But umtati kwo. Oh that's what come to me. But yeah it's true uh sujoku sense. We can sense when you're feeling down nini nini. But it's upon you to be smart. It's a jungle out here man. Say no one has it easy. Help me yeah yeah. Say what ya but thinking right now. Say it. When you say it's a jungle out here and how you know at her situation when we look at it she was like down down down down. And all you need is support. No someone to tell you it's in your head. Okay when you're down animal human being would know if someone is emotionally down they're not going to do stuff that they normally do. That's a voucher. That doesn't mean no na kufa na ni karebe tu ni kule. But my it's a voucher no? My services are supposed to. But next time they love taking advantage of our emotions when we down you'll find this there'll be only that sweet person what you want. You can see it like what happened. Yeah and then they'll always be there only with one boy. One intention. Are we communicating amatunga ze volume? Hashtag is a why in the morning. I can hear you but I want to see you on Facebook at Y254 Facebook at Y254 channel on Twitter. Hashtag is a why in the morning. Okay case scenario number three he wants you to provide and gives nothing in return. Ati beb aki su ni jenge man say kwa chagun. su ni pekaki to so give me something. Like in kwa tuna ske and taki tokama say amani konama shida mobi down sendatuna shida bro help me understand. Let me first understand the case scenario. Is it a guy asking for cash? Yes. Are there guys who exist? Are there guys who ask for cash? Are you for real? I think it's a little too much. Do you want me to start pointing names and naming things? That's even against nature man to quit to honest. That's even against nature like. Let me be honest with you. Nadiem? Kwa li kwa? Ya ya like and I buy gifts every once every once in a while man. Okay, me na almost four days. So ya man guy is mwanza. It's my birthday. Good thing it's my birthday today. Everybody is happy birthday. It's my birthday today. Happy birthday. We need a queen somewhere to lay up and give to pass it on. Mwanza apu me bwangakatu akun. So what do you think about this? And it doesn't have to be money. Just resources. One thing I'd say is we pay the the poor have different type of loving that those who would love for giving. Ya they just think pampering a guy with gifts and gifts and gifts and gifts that would make the relationship work. And then those guys would feel like since my god is pampering me with gift it becomes our platform for extortion. So to be like oh baby I'm supposed to do this I'm supposed to do that. He asks for money. I guess sometimes we as ladies we make the guy feel if she can provide for me if she can't buy me gift constantly then she can also provide for me which should not be the case because many dollars do they provide in kwa. When kusaya tum baya kdfs kumoja won kwa na kwa niya wiya konanja kwa say kwa. Wait. It's not a great. Ghoja, goja. Is it checki? It's not bad to buy them. It's not. My point was don't make them lazy How do you translate? Okay babe I care about you na since hoji tole wa chatame ni kuspoe How do you translate that to ah siatali pato? Sii kila okia kwa fix every time okia kwa fix unan Oh like As in what's wrong baby? Just because nili kupia was So wrong. It doesn't mean yeah that's what I'm saying just like you just be like as a lady just to wake up and you're like I'm out because I'm not going to feed you I'm not your mommy to feed you at that moment. Yeah. Apokwa I'm not your mother Where where? Apongas of all you We are not your mothers Where? Ken scenario Now you can applaud I'm glad to nashka why So next case in Nari he uses your own insecurities against you he uses your insecurities against you So perhaps maybe you feel some type of way about your body or you feel some type of way about I don't know some feature about you and then he just uses that but yeah ushe scheme to anongesa chumvi mali ushaumia then ya kakitu kawuchungu and bros yuki niolau ne kanga spirit so ya a kaka feeling yo kaka feeling yeah it's true I mean kutumia insecurities against we all have insecurities fun enough nani fun it's true everyone under the sun the people who like pull you down all the common secure like if you've ever noticed so me I'm not a fan of using insecurities against other people because we all have insecurities that inspector general of police so ya insecurities