 So in today's video I'm going to be teaching Carly Steele how to meditate. What is up everybody? It is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution. And today I am joined by a very special guest. Go ahead and introduce yourself. Hi I'm Carly Steele and I'm a mess. Yeah and because of that mess we're gonna try to teach her how to meditate. But this is part of the collab so we just actually filmed a video over on Carly's channel about addiction and I dive into some brain science. Carly opens up about some stuff. What other stuff do you know? I don't even want to ask what you have over on your channel like what has your channel been kind of focusing on lately? Kind of refinding my mental health, my spiritual, God and just making myself a better person all around. Yeah so make sure you go follow her. Like it's awesome. Like I've been watching the videos and it makes me tear up. I'm like a big brother and I'm like oh you're learning. But something that Carly has been driving me nuts about is I keep trying to get her to meditate like a lot of you and she won't do it. So in this video I wanted to show her like this is way easier than a lot of people know. But first like what I want to talk about is is like answering questions and also hearing your excuses. There's something going on outside and hearing your excuses about why you don't meditate because trust me this isn't to put a spotlight on you but I know a lot of them have those same excuses. So why haven't you started meditating? Like I told you that you only had to do a five minutes a day. Why haven't you done it? I'm not going to give excuses because because I make time for things you need to do but I feel like it's just because I don't know how. I don't want to. Yeah even though I showed you apps that will guide you through it. Yeah. Is it well let's be honest. I guess some people will say they don't have time. Yeah but do you think like here's something that I struggle with. I'm like how is this stupid thing gonna help me? Yeah a little bit a little bit that way and I believe in prayers so I'm like well it's almost the same thing and we're gonna jump into that pretty soon. All right so when you say you don't know how like when you think of meditation like what do you think it is? I think it's me sitting and just shutting my eyes and trying to not think of anything but when I don't think of anything I'm thinking of not thinking of anything so let me think. Thing is misconception about meditation. Really? So everybody thinks everybody thinks that meditation is about not thinking which is insane because did you know did you know that on average the human brain has between 50 and 90,000 thoughts per day. I believe it. Right and check this out 90% of them are repetitive. If you think about the same thing over and over and over and over and over right so no matter how much you meditate the greatest Buddhist monks can never stop thinking. So meditation is not about stopping your thoughts it's about noticing your thoughts. Gotcha. Okay so one way that I personally kind of picture it especially when I first started was just looking at them as like clouds in the sky. All right just kind of passing by. See our problem is is that we latch on to that cloud and we get drug we get drug away with it right. So like for example like let's say somebody pissed you off okay let's have fun. Tell me a situation without naming any names no shade no tea how has somebody pissed you off recently just like what they did just that's it what they did. Put blame on me when I it's not all me. Yeah okay so that's a good one right so what happens is is somebody put blame on us right and then we think how dare they then we start wondering what are they thinking then our ego comes in it's like don't they know who I am then we start thinking about how we got to defend ourselves if you're vengeful like I am I start thinking about all the ways I'm going to get back at them I'm thinking all the shade what can I tweet what can I do on Instagram do you see what I'm saying so it was rather than them just putting blame on you and you're moving on and letting go it turns into this whole story does that make sense yes so all we're doing with meditation is we're catching that first thought noticing oh this is anger this is fear this is anxiety or whatever and then moving on okay so mindfulness like somebody taught me a long time ago mindfulness is just letting go over and over and over again so when we're talking about specifically like a feeling like anger think about it like holding a hot coal right like we're holding on to it forever but the more you practice meditation you start dropping it a lot faster so it's because when you sit there on the angry like do you notice how you get more angry the more you think about it yes right you create this whole story in your head okay so are you guys starting to learn while we gotta meditate okay so again it's not about stopping your thoughts it's about noticing your thoughts okay a lot of times when I'm meditating I start laughing because I think of all the crazy shit going on in my head right if I'm just quiet I'm like I'm just sitting here and nothing's happening and then all of a sudden I'm thinking of like some kid in eighth grade who did something stupid I'm like I wonder what that jackass is doing today you know and then I'm laughing myself I'm like why do I care you see what I mean like it can be fun it can be very simple easy yes all that stuff all right so did we get rid of that myth yes all right that makes it a lot easier just by knowing that because trying to not think is like I feel like it's impossible for me not to think how do you not think yeah nobody's sleeping yeah if you had that's the other misconception is that we think that we have control over our thoughts like if I had control over my thoughts I would never get angry sad scared depressed anxious right I would just be like don't be anxious you know we have absolutely no control of our thoughts so part of meditation is accepting that we don't have any control over our thoughts all right rather than resisting it so the other way I kind of explain meditation is like before meditating it's like imagine watching a movie on a movie screen like before it we are the people in the movie right we're going through all this stuff that story that we create when you start to meditate now it's like you're the person watching the movie now you're just watching that story go by but you're not getting swept up in it and it's okay to feel emotions like you ever watch you'll watch a movie that just gave you the feels oh yeah what's the last movie that just made you feel um I don't know I don't watch movies very often no but 13 reasons why I watched that show oh do you have you watched my reviews no I haven't oh my god that show makes me my feels Grey's Anatomy makes me my feels yeah there you go so so yeah it's okay to feel those things right but we don't get like swept up and I'm like like does something on Grey's Anatomy and this might be a bad question if you're like really into it but has it like kept you up at night no okay exactly so that's what we're trying to do with our normal yeah exactly so so exactly so rather than being in the movie or in the show we're stepping outside of it okay now the other misconception about mindfulness which is what we're going to be doing today is that we think that in order to meditate we've got to sit be quiet watch our thoughts like that is one thing that is one thing all mindfulness is I'm gonna give you the definition of mindfulness as explained by the father of western mindfulness a guy by the name of John Kabat-Zinn and it's paying attention on purpose in the present moment and without judgment okay that's all it is you don't have to sit there and be like no that's one we call so we call that formal meditation but there's also informal meditation okay so there's all sorts of stuff okay so I've got Carly chocolate what that's the only reason why I'm here I'm just like hey girl what kind of what kind of those are my two favorite not not sponsored by the way okay which one do you want to use this one okay all right Carly's friend behind the camera heard that we got chocolate can I eat it so that's what we're gonna do okay so let's see meditation's fun all right now before I hand you this piece of chocolate you gotta promise me two things you're not gonna do anything unless I instruct you to do it okay okay and you're gonna pay attention to what your brain's doing something that we're trying to do we're trying to be like scientists we're trying to investigate trying to research okay so hold on to this okay that's it hold on to it that's it oh now are you interested okay behind the camera here follow along behind the camera okay all right you can do it with us okay we're all going to do so this is what we call mindful eating and it's fun so over on Carly's channel we were talking about addiction and everything like that so by the way for anybody out there who wants to do this pause the video go get a snack or whatever you follow the same rules you can't do anything until I tell you to all right pause the video go get yourself a snack or whatever so one thing I want you to do is as I'm talking notice how many times your brain says just shut the hell up and let me eat this all right okay so guess what you two are being mindful right now you're noticing your thoughts okay so anyways what we're going to be doing is we're gonna notice our brain is always in two constant states attraction and aversion right give me more or get that away what's the food that you hate apples I like everything okay all right so you it's a little bit harder but yeah if you have been into an apple you're bringing this their egg and get it away same thing with our feelings okay so the first thing that we're gonna do okay is that we're just going to notice as much about this piece of chocolate that we can using all of your senses sight sound smell not taste yet man okay uh touch but I'm gonna add a sixth one thoughts okay so just examine this piece of chocolate like you're an alien you've never seen this thing before okay notice how much it weighs notice the little grooves in it any kind of weird dots or imperfections in it smell it notice if your brain's saying I want to eat this right now you can even see what does this thing make a sound and if you do that and you think that's stupid then notice that thought all right so you're just examining this thing okay now we're going to unwrap it and now we're just gonna hold it in our hand now I'm not gonna do this I'm just gonna instruct you okay so now what you're gonna do is raise it to your mouth but notice the entire action of raising it to your mouth how your arms moving do not bite into that thing until I tell you to okay so open your mouth and just let it rest in your mouth all right like put it in it but don't bite it yes all right and notice the thoughts going through your head notice is your mouth like salvating are you in smells all right what is your body doing in this moment okay now go ahead and take a bite don't swallow it yet just chew it in your mouth notice how the texture changes in your mouth notice is your mouth making more saliva all right notice the sensation to swallow it and think about or notice rather do I want more do I want to eat the rest of it all right now go ahead and swallow it and notice how it goes down your throat into your stomach and now just notice am I full do I want more what are the thoughts going through your head for people who struggle with eating like is the thought like I can eat 15 more of these okay all we're doing is noticing the thoughts all right finish the damn buttercup okay this is the best club ever that's it mindful eating so what we're doing I appreciate it more exactly so one of my favorite meditation teachers says a lot of people are trying to like double the length of their life but what meditation and mindfulness does it helps us enjoy life a hundred times more because we're paying attention like how many times you just sit on the couch and just shovel chips in your mouth or how many times are you just really hungry and you just you know sit down at the dinner table your food comes right like an expensive meal even so this is about slowing down really noticing everything about it you know so if you can do this is a challenge to all of you including you two in the room is try to do this at least for three or four bites each meal okay that's it is it that hard Carly no since I can't get you to sit down and meditate for five minutes yeah eating anyway is right I'm proud of you too I feel like that like I feel so satisfied from that one job like I don't even want another one but if I would have just shoved it in my throat but I've had another one exactly so it's just about noticing these things like it was so much better like so you you two just did mindful eating that's it that's all it was but now we're gonna do some more okay okay so I've sold people on mindfulness right yeah all right so next one is you are trying to reconnect with God right rebuilding your spirituality in the video we did on your channel you mentioned prayer are you going back to church yes so I'm not religious I am spiritual and we're not diving into that but part of this is and what I saw from your video probably I was like an hour long video I suggest you go watch it and you talked about reconnecting with God so part of that to my understanding or what I've learned in my you know my 12-step programs about spirituality is that you want to live in a way that your God would want you to right yes so another way to be mindful I'm gonna give you two different ways but for somebody practicing a religion is whenever you're going to make a decision stop and say what would God want me to do in this moment that's being mindful of your decisions that's all it is it's pausing for a second when you want to send that tweet when you want to send that text message when you want to you know clap back at somebody in a video you know or whatever it is ask yourself what would what would you know God want me to do now for people who aren't spiritual who aren't religious find somebody that you look up to you know what I mean and this could be a figure right now like who's like who's a good role model Justin Bieber yeah right now yeah right now okay so ask yourself what would Justin Bieber do in the situation me I was thinking along the lines of like MLK Gandhi all right but I'll take Justin Bieber but ask yourself like what would this person do right or something that I've done and a lot of meditators do is rather than having like an external higher power there's this higher power within and say like like imagine the person that you want to be like what does that person look like so when you're about to make decisions say what would that person do in this situation because we're all on this journey trying to improve ourselves and stuff like that like for example I'm trying to lose weight so when I'm sitting there and I want to buy stuff when I'm just show my freaking face like what would the person the healthier version of me doing that situation so that's another way to be mindful is just to pause and ask yourself that question boom two mindfulness lessons wow right there I know right it's like I'm a a magician all right so the last one this is one that I just want to show you real quick because I've been meaning to do it on my channel and here we go so this last mindfulness practice is called noting noting like writing notes okay okay so five senses again sight sound I always screw sight sound taste touch touch here wait no no it's that sound taste touch feel oh wait that's touch smell okay so those five and add thinking so all noting is my son and I we do this in the car together okay so basically what you're doing is you're sitting there and you're noticing which one of those senses is most prominent right there okay we're gonna do this for like literally a minute and a half okay and we're gonna switch off okay so just notice what which sense is most prominent in that moment okay so we're gonna switch off I'm gonna do it and I'm gonna tell you to do it okay so there's a buddy system one you can do with a friend okay okay just watch me do it and you got this okay so that's it you're relaxed all right so seeing hearing thinking thinking seeing hearing tasting thinking seeing all right you try so I just say what's going on like the sensing what is happening in your experience right now okay tasting hearing thinking hearing thinking thinking thinking tasting not feeling nope I'm done that's it well that was that was totally fun like sometimes you'll just be like thinking thinking yeah I kept hearing the clock I was like hearing see and that's like how how many times have you noticed that clock since you've been here once right there boom right so all this is is experiencing life more fully so that was called noting you can do that anytime anywhere just say you know what I'm gonna take a few minutes and just do note it right or like like I said my son and I would do it in the car but there's also mindful listening something that I do is I go outside I just get quiet I see how many sounds I can recognize right so like even if you if you're just like all stressed out and you need a break just walk outside and see how many sounds you can hear whether it's a wind cars motorcycle birds whatever it is so and every time you do that remember on your channel I taught her I taught her about this you guys the whole hand model prefrontal cortex you guys just did like push-ups for your prefrontal cortex strengthen it and guess what this prefrontal cortex does let me tell you impulse control self-awareness emotional regulation I need emotional regular logical decision making let me repeat that logical decision making so every time you do this even if you like studies have shown that even if you do this five minutes a day it will strengthen the prefrontal cortex and those are all pretty sweet abilities that we all need it also improves things like empathy morality all that stuff and it also helps to regulate the flow of dopamine which we also talked about on your channel gotcha all right so are you gonna meditate yes that was it's so easy I know I could do in the car I could do it anywhere exactly real quick something I always tell people is like you know I like to do mindful driving and like oh my god you're like meditating in the car it's like you better be mindful driving like how many times do we get in the car and we're going someplace that we already know and we're there and we don't even we didn't recognize I'm like I'm like did I go through like seven stop signs because I don't remember exactly so sometimes that's where I meditate right sometimes I get anxious while I'm driving and I'll just put my hand in front of the air vent and I just notice what that feels like right so there's so many different things that you can do that don't involve that formal meditation that we're talking about all right any last questions about meditation is there a certain amount of time I have to do it every day or just five minutes a day you'll get results okay that's it 10 minutes yeah okay right like I said it's like going to the gym for your prefrontal cortex you don't even got to go anywhere right five minutes a day 10 minutes is good right just so you all know everybody watching this I do five minutes 10 minutes is a stretch for me like I have some of the audience members come out and they're like hey Chris I've been meditating for like 30 minutes a day I'm like damn or sometimes what I'll do is I'll do like five minutes in the morning five minutes around lunch five minutes a night stuff like that so that's about it you'll start noticing differences in my experience the people around you will start to notice differences in you before you do they'll be like wow Carly you didn't react to that situation like you used to because you're strengthening your impulse control she's already doing that yeah yeah see so I would say it because like sometimes I try to point out when people have been mindful like you're being more mindful about improving your mental health you know it's something that maybe you put on the back burner right so mindfulness is coming in everywhere all right so here's what we're gonna do you're gonna start doing this every day you can be your accountability partner have some mindful eating if you want like I said just just three or four bites every meal you're golden yeah all right but anyways we did a video over on Carly's channel too it'll be linked down in the description below anything else cool going on in your life that people need to know about nope all right well that was fun links to her social media will be uh down in the the description below she has like a million but jillian followers and stuff so so yeah go check her out all right anyways that's all we got make sure you like this video subscribe thanks to all the patrons and we'll see you next time bye