 I'm thrilled and honored and privileged to introduce you to Ms. Maya Gonzalez. Okay, you ready? Okay, so I have to tell you a couple of few things before we get started. One, somehow magically I'm functioning on about five hours of sleep in two days. Which is cool in one way because I was in South Carolina on Wednesday having one of the fullest days I ever have had. Working with kids and pre-service educators at a university back there. So I think some of the thrill and the excitement that's kind of moving through me is sort of like coming into this. This has been one of those awesome weeks. And Dr. Julia Lopez Robertson, who I work with at USC and Meredith Steiner said the same thing. We just want you to come and just be Maya. And I was like, I can do that, I can do that. So please, please forgive me. I'm kind of, I don't quite even know why I'm still functioning but I'm super excited to be here. But I'm going to do something I never do is I'm going to read. I always like charge around and just like pull out whatever comes out of my mind kind of focused in the direction. But I have so many things that I really, really wanted to convey that I actually wrote it all down on the plane yesterday. And I have one other comment before we get started is I'm going to do just kind of have this be a rolling slide behind me. I like to overwhelm people with lots of input. But I'm not going to say anything about whale heart. So I just wanted to put that out there. All right. All right. So to begin with, I would love everyone to close your eyes. Just breathe in for a moment and then breathe out. Really feel your weight. I love gravity. Gravity reminds us that we belong here. That this is home, not just earth, but also our bodies. Feel your body. That weight just really holds you in that perfect place. Breathe in again. And as you breathe out, just really breathe into all of that gravity. Breathe out into all of that gravity. Just really land here with me for a moment. I want you to touch your chest. It's so beautiful to see all of you. I'll close my eyes for a moment too. And I want you to sense a nest, a nest in your chest. It can be any kind of nest your imagination creates, but you see an egg there, a small, simple egg, and it's cracking open. Breathe in. And as you breathe out, that egg opens up and you find a dragon. And this dragon is curled up in this little nest, but it's so excited to be here. It raises up its wings and it stretches out and it takes off into what you realize this enormous, limitless sky within you. And just feel that soaring. Feel that sense that there's so far that you can go. Imagine that all these other senses you didn't even know you had are opening up. Feel your arms stretching out, your huge wings, and this is your heart reaching out. Now as you come back, I want you to open your mouth for a moment and just feel that big space. Feel the longing to sing. Feel that openness. Thank you so much. Let's begin. In January, I attended the ALSC's Day of Diversity in Chicago as a co-facilitator for one of their breakout sessions. We talked primarily about communities of color feeling welcome in the library and to a far lesser degree, the LGBT community. I have been honest that while I believe every step counts, it felt like a small one, especially for those of us actively working toward... Oh, and I thought this was great. So I'm using equality through this, but I think I'm going to be changing it to equity really soon because that's what I mean, so just as an aside. I'll go back for a moment, especially for those of us actively working toward equality, equity. For many years in the children's book industry it was an even smaller step for those of us asking the larger questions. Like, can we effectively and fundamentally create equality within a system rising as it does from the old paradigm? Especially when, for many, one of the major takeaways from the Day of Diversity is that diversity sells. There were a few radical moments from Katie Horning, Pat Mora, and Sacha Orange. These moments held the power of the day for me as it connected with other women of color and a Native American woman. Librarians Edith Campbell and Debbie Reese and author Zetta Elliott. With diversity cells ricocheting through my inner terrain, I went into February and March researching LGBTQI Two-Spirit Children's Books for the next offering of my online course, The Heart of It, creating children's books that matter. I add to my library... I'm going to just kind of pop this as we go, so hopefully you can do this. What was that? We were spinning things at the same time since kind of me doing that. Each time I teach the course, I add to my library of artist author spotlights and book reviews another section from a community historically under or misrepresented in children's books and generally in society. I was researching African American children's lit, very emotional during the time of Michael Brown's murder in Ferguson and the acquittal of Darren Wilson. This time it's LGBT children's lit during a period when we have had so many trans people of color either murdered or commit suicide. And I'm a cry baby, so just so you know I might cry. This current experience of research has struck a profound chord within me, a reverberation that puts saleability to shame. I've been heartbroken. The number of LGBTQI children's books is appalling and books buying about queers of color verging on non-existent. We don't even make the CCBC's multi-cultural children's book list. There are so few. But what really brought it home for me was when I realized that the one non-fiction children's books specifically about a gay historical figure and his work for our community ended with his assassination and his killer getting off scot-free on what is known as the Twinkie Defense. Quite frankly I was stunned. That's the only non-fiction we have of an important ancestor. I wept and I wept again. And this formal wise radical queer who generally knew what I would find. For some reason I had no idea that I needed to prepare myself. I live in the Castro. The neighborhood that grieved the strongest when supervisor Harvey Milk was murdered by Dan White. The neighborhood that flew into outrage when Dan White was acquitted and found no peace when Dan White took his own life. I walk in Harvey's footsteps every day as I buy groceries, mail my mail, take my baby to the park and walk with my handsome partner. I've lived there for 20 years now. From a deep place in my heart I let out a public cry. We desperately need more LGBTQI children's books from queers of color. Francisco Alarcon came forward. He and I now have plans for our sixth book together. A book of queer poems and art by us. Two queer Latinos. But will it sell? Luckily for Francisco and I that is insignificant compared to our knowing. This is what our queer youth and families of color need. I believe when we remove and revision the framework of saleability from children's books we open the doors wide to something greater. Something culturally significant. Something transformative and revolutionary. Children's books are powerful tools which I know you all know because you're librarians. Their potential toward social justice is limitless. For 20 years I've been singing the praises of relevant, meaningful reflection in children's books specifically for our children of color and our Native American children and I am far from alone. Reforma, Pat Mora, Center for the Study of Children's Books, Ed Change, Rethinking Schools, American Indians and Children's Literature and more. Which brings me back to the library and feeling welcome. As a child growing up queer in Chicana I loved the library but it always felt like visiting a foreign land. Someone else's home where I always felt like an outsider somehow standing behind a glass wall looking in. What I've discovered is I've come into schools and libraries, community centers and festivals as a children's book author and artist is this is not a thing of the past. Not something from the 70s or 80s. Not surprisingly I found this resonates with the thousands of children of color I've played with over the last 20 years. When I ask if they see themselves in their books I watch as they search their minds and realize that they don't. Or seldom do. And for queer youth and families of color I don't even have to ask the question. So what can be done? Especially right now for our most at risk, most silenced, most invisibleized, most isolated queer youth and families of color especially when we don't have the books yet. There are a number of veins I'm going to explore with you. The first is in relation to privilege which is awesome since we've been talking about that a lot today. So I'm actually not going to go into the whole sort of structure of privilege, right? So I'm just going to assume you all know what I'm talking about. For those of us who hold any privilege, even me, as a fair-skinned cisgender queer Chicana how do we leverage our privilege for good? I believe in order to have a lasting, effective, transformative impact we must support equality and power that rises from the bottom up. We must begin actively, visibly supporting our most marginalized people. The most under- and misrepresented children in our society today are transgender and gender-creative children of color. And to be honest, we can't begin too early in their lives. Some children as young as two years old begin to discern their preferred gender identity and it can and does override what they were assigned at birth. There are also some children who don't fully identify their preferred gender until much older sometimes well into adulthood. Naturally, there is lots of variation. But by beginning early, we have the most likelihood of supporting all of our trans and gender-creative youth and by extension families with trans and gender-creative parents and extended family. But the support isn't just to be shared with our trans and gender-creative youth. We do some of the most good by sharing it with the children and families who are not trans or gender-creative because these are some of the ones who bully them aggressively and or micro-aggressively. So what does this mean personally and what might this look like in the library? Let's begin with the personal. This is the crux of the whole thing, the foundation, the bedrock. We communicate the most powerfully through the non-verbal. If we're reticent, if we hold unacknowledged fear or judgment, this will modify the message, water it down, possibly even negate it by attracting conflict that we can't face or even embarrassment that arouses our own deep insecurities of not belonging, not being good enough, not having the right to speak out or openly support the most marginalized. So this is the key moment of acknowledging and leveraging your own privilege. It takes being honest with yourself. It takes one of those fearless inventories of yourself, your real self, your heart of heart self. I don't believe it's possible for any of us in our current situation to not have internalized some bit of homo or transphobia. By beginning to acknowledge this within yourself, you begin the most important work. Immediately, you begin to communicate non-verbally that this matters. I want to tell you it's okay to acknowledge your homo and transphobia. It's okay to see that you've been affected by everything and possibly everyone around you and that our culture is not honored and respected queer people and has in fact been aggressive and inappropriate toward queers, socially and legally. Take it slowly if it's new to you. Often our insecurities are connected and you will find that other feelings of insecurity, of fear and even safety are tied in. Part of me wants to be gentle and say, don't push yourself. Let it evolve naturally and to some extent that's true. But I want to point out that means our trans and gender creative children are taking the full hit. They are bearing the full brunt of a society that for all intents and purposes states that they don't belong, are unwanted, even flawed or sick. So think about that too. What does your privilege afford you? What does your lack of action allow you to feel and not feel? Now relate that to our trans and gender creative children. How must they feel? What must their heart of hearts be navigating? If not now, then soon. And to what ends? From a lack of self-esteem to full-on self-hate to suicide. And what are the children who are not trans or gender creative? What bruise within their insecurity? Who will they naturally lash out at in a society that abuses one of her own? Your privilege affords you quite possibly more than you ever imagined. A security, a sense of belonging, a feeling of a simple rightness in being that a trans or gender creative child may never fully feel. Ask yourself, can I handle the discomfort? Can I help shoulder the burden until it is dismantled and homo and transphobia exist no more? Next, it takes educating yourself with an open mind and an open heart. Be curious. Embrace your revolutionary self. Take on the job of social activism if you haven't already. Now's the time. Learn everything you can about gender. Look online, find reading lists, read blogs, interviews. Look at history and especially nature. Get comfortable with the information. This will, of course, be felt in herding your voice and your actions as you begin to externalize your wisdom and support. This is by no means all that I can say on the subject, but I leave the rest to you. I trust that if you put your feet on this path, you will find your way. Like Fannie Lou Hamer stated, nobody's free until everybody's free. Your own need for true freedom will guide you. I trust that you'll find your way. Don't be afraid to make mistakes along that way. That's part of it. Often how you handle those situations are the most significant to how others learn and grow with you. Now let's touch on the practical for a moment. I'm basically going to tell you my fantasy library experience. How me and my extended family would feel welcome in the library. Let's begin with books. I won't go into lists and so forth. I trust you can find the resources. You're trained professionals. But what I will say is be creative and develop a keen, critical eye. Look at the underlying messages and the repetitive narratives in the books available. In particular, pay attention to only showing the books that include bullying in them or books wherein the trans child must be exceptional to be valuable. I just want to put it aside. Sometimes if you get a bunch of books and you think, oh, I got all these great books going on and they all include bullying, what you're actually communicating is that you're going to get bullied. And if you only have the books that are positive that show that exceptional child finding their way into acceptance, then kids are only going to hear like they have to be exceptional to be included. Creativity counts because we don't have a lot of books. You'll have to explore books without gender pronouns. Use books about being true to yourself or being unique and different to frame a trans or gender-creative narrative. Play with books that do use pronouns by switching things up or opening up the idea of assumptions. My kid that went to school with Meredith's kid, one of my kids only knew Little Mermaid. I think we had the book, not the movie. And for some reason she just loved it. I always switched the gender pronouns. So she only knew Ariel was a beautiful boy and Prince Eric was a handsome butch. Which actually if you start looking at it like that is really true. Beginning with books that don't support gender stereotypes is a great step in also. The trick is not to let go but continuously find small ways to keep this a part of your story time. I can't stress that enough. Like we were looking at earlier and like I said at the very beginning this really amazing compulsion. This like snap back to always have a straight white cisgender gaze. And so I really can't encourage you enough to constantly be bringing in other narratives, right? Including queer. If you learn about gender and nature you will find that finding Nemo is a great mind expander. Surprise, surprise. Books about polar bears provide a perfect opportunity to consider how nature negotiates gender and sex assignment differently than our current human culture. Animals don't judge. This is alone a powerful element to include. Keep evolutions rainbow and the genial gene two books by American ecologist and evolutionary biologist Joan Reffgarden on hand. They're excellent resources to have as well as biological exuberance by Bruce and I'm going to spell his last name A-G-E-M-I-H-L. Nature is a constant guide and teacher to me. When asked recently to talk about my latest book, Call Me Tree I found that I had to contextualize my journey through all three of the books that I've written and illustrated. Following is an interview is a piece from the interview with the Huffington which I heard got posted and shared so some of you may have read this already so sorry. If I were going to claim an overarching concept I would say it's the culmination of what can happen when we connect with nature personally relationally and universally. Nature is a perfect resource to help us see through societal projections and feel powerful within ourselves and with each other even when times are rough. Call Me Tree is a final book and a trilogy to share with kids just how valuable our connection to nature can be. My colors of my world began because I was haunted by the memory of hot pink desert sunsets when I was a child. I followed the image to uncover how seeing myself reflected in nature was vital when I was young and if you see them come up again I think it just starts when I... does it roll when I go like this? And then it just rolls through. So when you see the sunset in this, that's me. I realized that not seeing any queer or Chicana representation in children's books or any media for that matter left me feeling invisible and irrelevant. But feeling an affinity for the hot pink sky helped give me a sense of self and belonging that I carried with me into adulthood and my coming out. The second book, I Know the River Loves Me continues the focus on nature but now it has evolved beyond a sense of self into relationship. I found nature to be my true and constant friend when I was disowned by my family because of their homophobia. The river story rose at a time when I finally felt fully and unconditionally loved and supported in my life. The river actually told me the story. In these first two books I wanted to share with kids the notion that nature is a constant resource not only to see ourselves but also to feel held when we need it. We're never alone no matter what. Call Me Tree takes it to the next level as a child actually embodies nature. In this book I step out of writing from a personal experience and enter a more universal one. Here everyone is the same and everyone is different. As a tree, a part of nature the child feels their own strength individuality and belonging and because of this experience they naturally see it and celebrate it in others. All trees have roots. All trees belong. It was in looking back over the three books that I understood how they fit together and why it was so important to me to share them with kids. When asked why I didn't use gender specific pronouns throughout the text I replied as a parent I see the first few years of a child's life is a time to grow into the fundamentals of who they are. This can include gender identity. Our culture has a powerful trend toward the boy girl gender binary and conformity comes into play from a child's earliest possible moment. By being gender free Call Me Tree provides for some a much needed break from the constant boy girl assumptions and requirements. It can also provide a moment to pause and consider those assumptions, requirements and their impact. Despite the fact that there are no gender specific pronouns reviewers have assumed the main character is a cisgender boy. The main character is actually based on an assigned girl. The specificity doesn't matter as much as the opportunity to notice the assumption. Many of us assume a child with short hair dressed in a t-shirt and pants is a cisgender boy. What does an assumption like that fully communicate about gender requirements fitting in living up to expectations being accepted who doesn't leave out and what is the impact of being excluded. Call Me Tree also opens up the possibility that it's okay not to know the gender of a child. No matter what their gender identity may be what is valuable is that they feel free, strong, a sense of belonging and appreciative of difference and sameness in themselves and others. At last but not least I chose not to use gender specific pronouns because in my book Gender Now an Educational and Activity book for all ages I explore how all of nature reflects multiple levels of gender expression as a part of nature so do humans. Because Call Me Tree is about kids embodying nature open gender identity and expression were built in. I was asked why is it important that we have children's books that are inclusive of characters outside of the male-female binary. There are so many reasons why it's important but I'll begin with reflection. I know when I was a child and I didn't see anyone anywhere that looked or felt like me I felt less than, like I didn't matter. It wasn't something that I knew with my mind it was more of a background fact about reality. Working with kids I've become very conscious of what messages they're surrounded by all the time. They're absorbing everything to understand the world around them that looks or feels like them in their books or any other media it means something. It means something about them and about the world. With meaning in mind current research shows that when kids who see images in their books of kids who look like them playing with kids who do not look like them they are more likely surprise surprise to play with kids who are different than they are. The research goes on to share that it doesn't this demonstrates the power of children's picture books and why it's important to begin early sharing like these. Finally it's important because there is truth here. We can learn through nature history and studying cultures from all over the world and throughout time that there are more than two ways to identify and express gender. Acknowledging this simple truth especially as reflected in nature helps take apart the outdated idea of a binary gender system. Gender non-conformity is one of the leading causes of bullying and can have long lasting even tragic consequences. By beginning early and sharing age appropriate books that help kids see through gender assumptions gender creative kids can relax and trust that they are perfectly natural and valuable and kids who are cisgender can know that they're part of a larger picture of diversity. This sets the stage for more learning about diversity and inclusion as they develop and helps dismantle gender based bullying before it begins. I included this because you can use me as an example of a queer Chicana who cares about everyone. Especially trans and gender creative kids knowing that they are perfect and belong here naturally. I know a number of queer children's book authors they're not necessarily closeted more demi closeted as I call it. I appreciate that for numerous reasons this feels best for them. The truth of the matter is it still isn't completely hip to be queer and for many it's not hip yet to support our trans and gender creative kids or adults. It can feel like a very real financial risk and more for others of us although not closeted it's time to be clear. People like me in Francisco Alarcon and others are stepping forward and saying we're queer we're here and we care. Finding queer children's book authors of color, perf call us out. As I've said we are in desperate need of more books by people like us. Let's make sure to inspire our next generation of storytellers. Now let's touch briefly on displays. Providing something clear and exploratory out and visible for folks to look at is a fantastic way to gently plant seeds and provide kids and grownups alike the opportunity to be curious independently. It gives them time and space to negotiate their initial response. When gender is approached this way I personally have heard only tales of how cool kids are and that it's grownups who need time to update. I encourage you to display lots of different kinds of books like the nature ones I already cited that show a variety of work effectively devoted to a greater understanding of gender. Perhaps create an entire board about birds focus on a few species and specific examples of how they express more than two genders. There was one that like expressed 20. It's kind of like snow. You can make it all sciency or artsy or naturey see if you can find picture books that include these birds. They could provide the aesthetic like you know how a book will have like maybe a folklore look so you could do like a folklore aesthetic or something like that. This will definitely open up the conversation including simple coloring pages about the birds linking the scientific information with the picture books I could go on and on. I have to say bats are also great for this. Bats are awesome and they have all kinds of genders that they express. I have a tattoo of a bat somewhere. Using art projects is of course a great way to begin the conversation non-verbally. Keep it simple. You could even do bats for Halloween. Tie it into science and nature as well as gender. Creating layers and connections is beautiful and Halloween is one of the high holy days for many in the queer community. As you gain confidence in your understanding and ability to share what you've learned and experience the impact it can have on our community, you will feel your own freedom coming closer. Your own heart will change and you will sense your deep connectedness to the beautiful people we haven't yet honored in our culture. Which brings me back to feeling welcome in the library. It begins with more than books and displays. It begins with you. It begins with your heart and your freedom. It ends with equality, equity for all and a return to feeling the connectedness between all people and with nature. The first book I ever illustrated was by the fabulous scholar of Chicana cultural theory, feminist theory and queer theory, Gloria Anzaldua. She says Yeah Gloria. Being the supreme crossers of cultures, homosexuals have strong bonds with the queer white, black, Asian, Native American Latino and with the queer in Italy, Australia and the rest of the planet. We come from all colors, all classes, all races all time periods. Our role is to link people with each other, the blacks with the Jews and Indians with Asians with whites with extraterrestrials. Gloria so rocks. It is to transfer ideas and information from one culture to another. Interesting, I don't remember what the era of this is but she, I'm quoting her colored homosexuals have more knowledge of other cultures have always been at the forefront although sometimes in the closet of all liberation struggles in this country have suffered more injustices and have survived them despite all odds. Chicanos need to acknowledge the political and artistic contributions of their queer people listen to what your hotaria is saying and what this hotaria wants to leave you with is this if we want to address diversity and inclusion in children's books we must look at things in an all way when we approach from a holistic nature based perspective paying attention to our bodies, our minds our hearts, our spirits including our unknown then the hollow promise of diversity cells becomes pretty clear and in its place we begin to hear our full self we begin to feel our real connection to each other our children the trees, the sunsets to the perfection of everyone's bodies and everyone's sense of self and identity we begin to see through our cultures projections and rigid limitations trying to control that which cannot end should never be controlled we begin to taste our own freedom and revel in the growing freedom of our fellow humans especially our children from this place we can responsibly help shoulder the burden of our trans and gender and who have carried it for so long and so often alone we can create lasting change real inclusion and a place of honor for all expressions of self I'm going to close our time together with a poem I need a dragon today to show me fire in the sky on the exhale to remind me how to lie on the ground and feel like a mountain and have an eye that can see through the fog and into the heart of a star I need a dragon today to open my mouth with the power of story and the ability to endure come dragon I'm ready come now thanks