 I had a lot of intense emotions coming up in the parable of David early on and working with the Chorus and I could see that the Chorus was teaching there's only two emotions, love and fear so I was quite interested in the fear emotion because it was very intense, like a recoiling it was a very sharp and harsh, intense reaction and I was asking about that and like how the fear arise or how can I be free of the fear, how can I lose the fear and so as part of a series of questions I remember one time I did ask Jesus I said what is it that I am really afraid of and the answer that came back was love and at the time I remember saying to Jesus, I don't get that I don't comprehend that I don't understand what you're talking about I love love, I love the feeling of love, I love the experience of love I want to fall in love, I mean my whole life is dedicated to love and now you're telling me that I'm afraid of love, it's just incomprehensible so then I said okay, I don't get that at all, let's see you're saying I'm afraid of love so I'm defending against the love I don't get that, I need another way if I'm defending against love, what am I defending for what am I trying to protect against this love what am I protecting and he said a self-concept so that's where the fear is coming in I'm trying to protect the self-concept that's where all the fear comes up, that's where all the resistance comes up he says exactly, you are afraid of love and all your defense mechanisms and all of your shutdown feelings, your contractions, the sharp feelings of pain all those intense emotions are all part of a protective mechanism of the ego to protect a false identity, a false self-concept he said is this false concept a personality self and he said oh yes and more and more and the whole world you perceive as outside of that personality concepts, the planet, the stars, everything the black holes, everything, that whole subject-optic split you being a person, the subject, the perceiver and the perceived world that you see that's all the self-concept and every time you feel the sharp emotion, the contraction if you feel fear arising in any form in any degree from minor annoyance to minor fatigue hunger, irritation to rage and very seemingly violence kind of emotional reactions all of that is coming from the identification with self-concept so at that point I said okay then that's helpful then that means I need to pay close attention that underneath those emotions that are so sharp they aren't just emotions that are all by themselves they just have an existence of their own their strings underneath them there's attachments they're being generated those emotions are being generated by the cling to a false self trying to protect a false self so then I would just use all my encounters on earth to pay close attention to notice when the contraction would come up and now I was given my clue what was going on so I could see things in a helpful perspective and I could always relate the emotion to an identity attachment and that helped me start to empty my mind of identity attachments keeping it around the core so being a teacher or being a father, brother, sister, brother all the roles that the ego attaches to it made them up and tells us we are these things nationality, cultural background, pride and many shapes and forms you start to see that it's almost like just a balloon and if the balloon is the emotion the cord is the tether it's still or something still holding on and that's the journey of emptying the mind and he does say learn this course requires willingness to question every value that you hold not one can be kept hidden or it will obscure your learning so I just at that point said thank you thank you Jesus and bring it on let's bring it on let's get to the bottom let's get to the root of all these tethers that keep me from knowing who I really am and it was, it started to accelerate I think from that point it started seemingly more and more joy more and more consistent peace because I was getting more to the root of the error and that was what was holding me back