 hi hello today's a life update video i'm feeling a bit more upbeat now and that's good so i'm in hospital you can tell that based on my surroundings was i don't want to go into details as to why i'm in hospital but i'm sure i made an attempt on my life it was pretty serious and now i'm in cycle moving on life update so my helipereal dose has been increased i now take 2.5 milligrams this is a lot higher when i came in i was on 0.5 and that was 2.5 and it is really helping it's really happened with me i've done most of my training for my job which is positive i'm getting back into youtube again another positive for me i started doing my coursework for uni again which is huge huge huge but those folks have small things in hospital while i've been in hospital i've only had one incident i have itself harmed i've made an attempt on my life i haven't kicked off and i haven't tried to leave so much so that i actually do have a scorted grounds leave tomorrow i'm seeing a consultant and i'm going to film near the heart this video after i spoke to the consultant to you because tomorrow there could either be uh you getting discharged you're staying longer it could vary the way personally i think they're going to keep me in longer just personally i can't see them discharging me tomorrow with it like they won't even let me call hospital grounds escorted i have to be escorted on hospital grounds but i don't know do you never know i decided to film this tonight because i thought i'd film how i feel before the meeting and how after a lot happens it's my last update anyway meeting with mental health has happened me and becker split and i don't say that easily i actually want to cry now we split and we're moving into several places beckers moving home to parents i'm looking at moving to brighton nothing neurotic happened we were just both our mental health was suffering like we're still friends and i still care enormously about becker and i always will she'll always have a place of my heart and you know i do genuinely love her i i didn't just say that i meant that and i love her as a friend now that's the difference so that's been hard to deal with everything happens for a reason and i hope i believe that i stand by that as far as medication goes there hasn't been any other dramatic changes so i've got a water round today and anything could happen i could be discharged i could become an informal patient or they could do nothing um i don't really know so i'll update you guys after so i do this little clip now i'm very anxious about that i've got this discharged i'm going home successful successful water round i'm going home ayy