 From the Land or Lakes, Minnesota Public Radio is proud to present Cinema Publico as we look at the movies that you're going to watch eventually if you ever steal your brother-in-law's Netflix password. Here's our host, the diligent Doyen, who helps you pick your flicks, Harold Escott Lozano. My guests today include two distinguished film critics, on my right is... Allow me to introduce myself. I am Leonard Schmaltin, the chief film critic from St. Paul Times and Chopper Gazette. Thank you for coming. Charmed, I'm sure. And this is my colleague Pauline Kail Anspinich of the Minnesota Chronicle and Penny Saver. How do you do? Oh, you are very attractive bourgeois type. You don't sound like you're from Minnesota. Oh, you have excellent ear. I am originally from Missouri. Yeah, I thought it was pronounced Missouri. Oh, I am from Eastern Bloc. I mean Eastern parts of state. We pronounce it Missouri. Enough of decadent chitchat. We are a couple of all-American movie critics from the heartland. And we are ready to talk cinema. So who do you think will win this year's Oscar for best screenplay? The winner is who cares? Boris, I mean, Leonard is right. Stalin had best idea about writers, paid them nothing, then murdered them, then paid them less. You mean Joseph Stalin, the Soviet dictator? Oh, no, easy mistake. I mean to say, Roseanne Barr. Let's discuss best picture contenders. What do you think of the artist? Why don't they turn up William? They need to adjust color. Everything looks black and white. Um, what do you think of Moneyball? Typical patch of American lies about baseball. A sport that was actually invented in Russia by Abner Ilyovic Dubutorovich. But performances were amazing. Yes, Brad Pitt was wonderful. And his fat girlfriend, Joni Hill, oh, she was tremendous. She will win best supporting actors. Oh, that was Joni Hill. He's a man. That guy's breasts were bigger than Samovar. He should get the best actor for his betrayal of large breasted American woman. Ha, ha, you have nice pair of Samovars, too. Thank you. What did you think of Meryl Streep's portrayal of a cold-blooded head of state with the feminine side? Oh, she plays Kim Jong-il. No, Margaret Thatcher. Thatcher? I hardly knew her. His little joke. Meryl is tiny. Thatcher is enemy of proletariat. Come to revolution, she'll be stood against the wall and shot by the fighting squad of a 11-year-old girl gymnast. Are you too sure you're American? But of course! I am the Yankee Tudl Dandy! And I am the Yankee Tudl Davoska. You don't look like anyone I know from Minnesota. is no good, Leonard. I mean Boris. Public radio potty with large thighs has figured us out. We are sleeper spies sent by the Soviet Union to infiltrate America and help topple the government. So you're just a pair of foreign freeloaders with no real connection to the movie industry and no knowledge of films. You know what that makes you? It makes us eligible to vote for Golden Globes. Tune in next week when Harold tells Natasha. I've never tried this position with a woman. And Natasha says, Just make sure you don't leave teeth mark on my samovars.