 Too often, the media focuses exclusively on the violent and tumultuous crises occurring daily around the world. And with clickbait exploiting negative social events for the sake of increased ratings and revenue, there are a few incentives for media outlets to focus on the good that is happening in the world every day. Even media channels dedicated to peacebuilding and sustainable development remain focused on the ills of corruption, war, and conflict, rather than the efforts of peacebuilders within those conflicts. But peace talks too. And with this show, the voice of peace will be amplified. Mr. Rogers is often quoted in saying that when crisis strikes, look for the helpers. This show intends to do just that. Every day, right here in Vermont, there are thousands of engaged citizens actively building peace. And we plan to amplify their efforts, and we seek to develop a platform where peacebuilders all over the state and the U.S. at large can connect with each other across social boundaries and industry sectors to collaborate for the benefit of our collective community. Ladies and gentlemen, this is peace talks, and today we are meeting with Tamara Parks. She is an educator, an advocate for New Americans, and the director of the multilingual program through the Essex Westford School District. It's a pleasure to have you on the show today, Tamara. I am delighted to be able to talk with you about this subject. Yeah, so let's just kick it right off. Tell us about yourself. What are you doing right now? Thank you. It's great to be here. I am the district coordinator of multilingual learner programs in Essex Westford, and to start to tell you about myself, my name is Tamara Parks, but I often go by Tamara Ekloff Parks. And as a child, I was actually born in the U.S., and then my family moved back to Russia, and I went to kindergarten there. Okay. So yeah, what parts of Russia were you living? So we were living in Moscow, and my ancestry is actually Georgian and Latvian and Russian. My father and mother are both professors in Russian history and Russian literature, and my mother is an immigrant. Okay. Yeah, so what was that like? You were born in the U.S., but you spent your early childhood in, what is that, the southwestern parts of Russia over there by Georgia before it was its own country, right? Yeah, the memories I have are, they're pretty powerful memories. One of them is in the morning my parents would have to take me to school on skis, and I just remember having conversations with my grandmother who had to, I don't want to say kidnap, but you had to take me to get me baptized. There's a lot of that. Take you to get you baptized. Let's unravel that a little bit. I need a little more context. Why would your grandma need to kidnap you or take you away to get baptized? Can you speak to that a little bit more? I can a little bit, yeah. At that time, and I think maybe still in Russia, there's consequences for having religious beliefs and participating in religion, and so that was something really important to her. So I just remember that relationship with my grandmother, and also on the way over here I was just remembering a time where I was speaking with her in Russian, and I was upset with her because she wanted me to wink my eye, and I couldn't do it with both eyes. We had this whole conversation with each other about winking and how to wink, and a very special relationship. Wow. Yeah, no. So your grandmother, she grew up in that same region of the world, the southwestern parts of Russia. This was during the Soviet Union that you're talking about, right? Yes, yes. Yeah. Grandfather, he was a wonderful man. There's a lot going on there. I could tell you a long, fascinating story with him, and if you have time, I will. Yeah, maybe we can get into that a little bit, but that might have to be a longer conversation for later. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you went to kindergarten, and then you moved back to the U.S. after that? What was that about? Why the back and forth? Maybe we can... Yeah, I mean, they were doing... So my father is a Russian historian, and my mother's roots are there, and so from what I know, there was some work to do there, and then when they came back here, I had been attending a school in the U.S., but we had ended up in Baltimore, and so my experience there, I would say, wasn't the most welcoming for... When you came back to the U.S., okay. So your parents were there primarily for work, and your mother, you said, was an immigrant, and so was the move back to the U.S. just because the work ended, or was this connected to turmoil in Russia? Oh, I'm sure it was about the work ending. My father has spent a lot of time in Russia regardless of turmoil, maybe not at this day in time, but previous times during the collapse of the Soviet Union, and so I'm sure that it had something to do with work, and for me, as a child, my memories are primarily around school and family and things like that. Yeah, no. Now, in regards to memories, you mentioned a particular memory just before we got started about your father being on CNN. That was fascinating, and I think it relates to a little bit about what we're doing here. Do you mind sharing that as well? Sure. So he was, I think the word is correspondent in addition to being a historian, and one of my memories as a child is watching him on TV, and he was in a burning hotel during a coup, and my question as a child to him was like, what's it like to be on TV? And he was like, the lights are really bright, but he did some work there too, kind of just as an expert reporting out. Goodness, kind of wrapped up in the middle of all that turmoil and transition at that time, and then you ended up in Baltimore. Yeah, so they were working at Goucher College, and we lived on campus, and then we I was attending a pretty conservative public school. There was a, my school photo was a picture of me in front of the American flag. Wow. How was that for you? Your early childhood years in the kind of collapsing Soviet Union obviously tied to like deep historical and political roots because of your parents' background, and now you're in this conservative school in Baltimore having to stand in front of an American flag for your picture. What was that experience like? Oh, well, I remember in Russia, the kindergarten I went to was very strict, and one of my memories there was getting in trouble for eating my soup wrong, and it's one of the few times I've ever gotten in trouble as a child. And then coming to Baltimore, the school was also strict, but I didn't know the words to the Pledge of Allegiance, and I still think I'm saying it wrong, Pledge of Allegiance, I don't know. But while I was trying to say that, during every morning we had to say it, these boys behind me were pretending to shoot me, and they called me names, you know, communists and whatnot, and I didn't even know what that meant. At the time, because you were just so young. Yeah, so one of my, unfortunately, one of my earliest memories was not being welcomed, but my culture was not welcome, and that I was not welcome, but the teacher was pretty good. She responded. She responded in the moment, and I think she tried to make it a welcoming environment. So I always felt welcomed by my teachers, but there were definitely times where what was going on politically was impacting me as a child, and I didn't understand. Yeah, well, I mean, you were coming into America with a Russian name and a Russian heritage at the collapse of the Soviet Union after, what, 50 years of, you know, Red Scare, Cold War era politics in American life and culture. Yeah. I mean, it's apparent if there's little kindergarten boys pretending to shoot you for not being able to say the Pledge of Allegiance. That's got to be a very intense experience to try and grapple with. I'd say what it does for me in a way in my life, I've tried to turn these experiences into strengths, and it is a way for me to have a lot of empathy for anyone who's coming in who may not be feeling welcomed. I can't at all say that I understand everything people experience. I can't ever do that. But what I can say is that I do have a tremendous empathy for, especially for children who are coming in who are not knowing how to navigate and not really fully understanding all the political forces that are happening. Yeah. So, like, there's this book that you and I have talked about a little bit. This is actually something that I was made aware of by my wife. It's called Third Culture Kids, Growing Up Among Worlds. Were you able to look into that at all? Or, like, I know the title kind of speaks for itself. It sounds like you had to grow up among worlds, like, you know, with, again, the professional and political background of your parents, you had to grapple with this idea of multiple worlds, multiple world views all the time. What was that like growing up? Oh, I, in a lot of ways, I think it's a gift. I think having a home language different than English is an amazing experience to have, you know, my parents trying to talk about things that they think that we don't understand and using big words in that language and actually being able to understand. But just having that uniqueness is a big, it's a wonderful thing. It also creates a lot of unique situations. And so the feeling of not really ever fitting in anywhere, it's also hard to answer the question, where are you from? And you know, it's definitely a lot of things, I'd say. Yeah, this idea of it being a gift, that feels like a very matured perspective. That feels like something that you grew into. I imagine, you know, this story you share of the Pledge of Allegiance and trying to fit in, having your parents speak a different language at home, you don't have a Russian accent, so you've clearly been able to learn English at a young enough age and get involved in that way. Can you speak to what that was like trying to fit in as you were growing up? Like, how did that mature into this space where you're like, this is actually a gift, this is actually something that can serve me in my world? Oh, that's a great question. To be honest, I think I was trying to hide everything about me that was unique for many years. What? Can you maybe have some specifics? Sorry to interrupt. No, it's okay. My name, for example, so my name, Tamara Parks, is not the name that my family and closest friends call me. They call me Toma Ekloff. Okay. And so I had Americanized the pronunciation of my first name and dropped my last name and changed it to my married name, which is Americanized version of Pushkosh. And so I ended up with a very easy-to-pronounce name, but something didn't feel right. And so now I've gone back and hyphenated my original last name and started to share with more people I meet, how they can call me like you and your family can call me Toma because we are friends. So you can, I mean, that's an example of it. It takes a little bit for me, but because I still feel a little bit like I won't fit in, yeah. So this kind of touches on a point that I think you and I have spent a lot of time exploring about assimilation versus integration. When immigrants and when new Americans are coming to this country and they have to figure out how to be a part of our community, you know, I think the conventional methods, the historical or traditional methods, are kind of captured in this name change, right? That's a process of assimilation. And that kind of imposes on you this need to hide those parts of yourself that don't fit the culture in the community you're a part of. How did you grapple with that growing up and how do you feel about it now, like this idea of assimilation? Yeah, I have a lot of feelings about that. So I started my teaching career, actually I started in Florida for one year and then I moved to New York City around 2005 and my second year I was invited to help start a new school for students who were newly arrived to the U.S. and I was surrounded with people speaking different languages in Queens and New York City. I don't think I've ever felt so welcomed and, you know, accepted. In Queens there's just so many different languages and so much different food and in this school that we were starting I learned a lot of really good things and we were collaborating with a community organization and immigrant people were standing up for their rights and going on marches and proud to have this unique background and unique to the U.S. Really kind of pushing against this notion of assimilation, this idea that we all have to fit some kind of monoculture. And we had students who spoke indigenous languages and the teachers were just, you know, working to promote how wonderful that is in the school and so it was moving to New York City and living there for 16 years that really helped me understand, you know, I think New York City opened her arms to me and I don't want to get emotional, but well, that must have been such a validating experience, you know, given the experience you had originally coming to this country and having to feel like you have to hide parts of yourself and then entering this space where you're just inundated by cultural diversity and embrace of those differences. In fact, a celebration of those differences. That must have been such a validating experience for you. How did that how did that change your perspective on the world? Is that, is that, I have too many questions. Let's start there. How did that change your perspective on the world? Oh, I mean, I don't know. I actually don't know the answer. I would, I will say that I still feel very connected to that. The students and the teachers in that community and I also am, you know, developing connections with families here also. So for me, I am just learning that the power of being in this collective space with others who are just bringing all their everything about them that's unique and wonderful and it's just where I like to be. It's the space I like to be no matter what state I'm in is around people who have a multitude of perspectives and languages and backgrounds and stories. Yeah, you found your home within diversity. You found your home within that acceptance of difference rather than, you know, having to find a way to fit into one thing. Yeah, and I think that connects to that culture, idea of cultural wealth that I think we can all find that, that wonderful experience in groups of people who are very different from us and I recommend it. Yeah. Well, you know, something that I'm thinking about as you're talking on this is like the American dream, you know, like this, this idea of the American dream, I think it has a bit of a salty taste for a lot of people right now. This concept of, you know, you know, you come to America, we can, you can change your stars, you know, it's the melting pot of the world. And there's this contrast between what you're talking about here, right? There's this, there's the American dream as it was propagated, as it was distributed throughout the world for 100 plus years, hundreds of years. And then there's your experience as a child that, that doesn't really fit that dream. In contrast to like this experience you're talking about in New York City where, where things were a little different, like what, what does that mean to you? What does the American dream mean to you? Oh, I mean, I think in a lot of ways, my family had probably a much, much, much fewer barriers. So there are, there's this idea of, you know, pull yourself up by the bootstraps, you'll do it, everyone will do it. But what, what I see is that the reality doesn't really match the experience, that kind of, you know, concept. And there's a lot of barriers for people. And kind of barriers are you talking about? So, you know, for example, I'm white and my family's white. And so that probably definitely resulted in privilege that allowed us to more easily access things that would help us be successful. And we also, the, you know, in terms of immigration status, that can also create a lot of barriers in terms of accessing support. So, yeah, I mean, I think it really depends a lot. The American dream is not as available to all. It's not as available to all. Yeah, and these barriers, I'm kind of just stewing on that in my head. You know, it ties into this dichotomy that we're talking about, assimilation versus cultivation. It sounds like a lot of those barriers are tied to this notion of assimilation, like how well you can fit in to the dominant culture, right? You know, it's a tough thing to swallow, I think. You know, if we think about the American dream in its ideal state, this idea that, you know, anyone can come here and we can all, you know, participate together through the democratic process and through the opportunities that America purportedly provides. But, you know, I don't feel like what you're saying, I don't feel like that fits in with this notion of assimilation. Yeah. Yeah. So, we've kind of looked at your experience in New York as kind of a counter to that, more of an integrative process. What does integration mean to you? How does, how is that different than assimilation? Oh, you know, it was funny, I think I was using it, the words incorrectly last week, I was saying a culturation assimilation. So for me, assimilation is a, the process of kind of blending in with the existing culture. And for me, my current understanding, integration would be coming in and retaining your culture and still being able to navigate and function within this new place. And I believe it's a better goal to integrate rather than assimilate because with assimilation, you would lose things that are not only important to you and your family and helping you feel connected to your roots, but also those things are really valuable to the incoming, the incoming place where you're, where you're living. To the community that you're part of. Yeah, I mean, they're untapped. Potential. Potential. People with different perspectives, different ways of knowing, different foods, different ways of thinking can lend to incredible innovation, cultural wealth. Yeah, no, that, that, you know, the concept of innovation as this is a bit of a departure, but I feel compelled to kind of share a little bit about like, you know, when we talk about innovation in a business sense, one of the primary ingredients for innovation to occur is, is a diversity of perspectives, a diversity of thinking, a diversity of knowledge bases, you know, and if, if we've been driving towards assimilation towards, you know, a mono culture or a mono experience, this singular way of doing things, that seems to be counterproductive to, you know, American business and, and, you know, these things, like how do these both, both of these values are, are being coupled together that are a paradox. It's, they're, they're, in fact, working against each other, but like when, when we talk about integration, when we talk about an acceptance of that diversity, when we welcome it into our communities, we benefit, right? How did the, how did the community in New York benefit? What were some of the benefits you saw? Oh, well, New York as a whole, I mean, you're going to have in any group of people, I think, so maybe I shouldn't talk in general about New York, but New York's a big place. It is a really big place and there's a lot of different things going on, but I was actually, while you were talking, I was thinking of a simple example. Okay, yeah. And so there's, you know, in the school in Queens, what, one of the things I learned was that different cultures view time differently. And so we had, you know, in the U.S., it's kind of expected that you're punctual and, you know, when you say arrive at eight, that means arrive at eight. Or 755. Yeah, or even 755, like we all tried to get there early, so that, you know, we could be there right at eight. But when I was teaching, I was realizing that I would set up a meeting maybe with parents and they would come in, you know, socialize and then the meeting would start later than normal. And it made me question whether how I was doing things was actually the best way. Maybe I didn't need to be so, you know, synchronous with time. Maybe it was more important to focus on relationships and so there's, so just different ways of looking at things. If you can, I think the most important thing is to be open to those different ways instead of being upset that parents will come later. For me, it's about asking why am I always so worried about starting on time. Yeah, yeah, as a cultural value as, you know, that's a norm that has been kind of ingrained into us as Americans and to, you know, it's etiquette. You know, you're being polite and you're being respectful by showing up on time, respecting the other person's time. But what you're talking about in terms of like relationships, you know, it's a different kind of respect. You're respecting the relationship you have with that person where time isn't the most valuable thing. The most valuable thing is that you and this person that you're connecting with can share space together and can appreciate each other. Another example would be if I'm, you know, as a teacher trying to have the best lesson plans that are just my own lesson plans and the alternative might be that I focus my energy on making sure that all of my peers also have, you know, what they need and that we're all together working together as a group collectively to get to make sure that the students are learning. So there's just different ways of doing things that are valuable and new ideas and new perspectives. So let's, let's kind of shift. I think we've really laid the groundwork here and established like this, this framework, this perspective that you're bringing to the world, right? What are you doing in the community right now? Like in your role as a multilingual, as the, you know, director of multilingual program in Essex Westford school district, how do you bring this experience, this, and this rich perspective into this work right now? What does that look like? So I will say that I'm relatively, I'm actually quite new to my role here. I started last year in the, in the role as district coordinator of multilingual programs in Essex Westford and a lot of my time has been spent on kind of solidifying infrastructure and just making sure that, you know, our interpreters and translators and multilingual isons have what they need and EL teachers have what they need and so that's been a big focus to make sure that the program is solid and that we're in alignment with federal, state, local, law, and policy and just making sure everything is set up right. Right. But another big focus was meeting the parents and the best way I could think of to do that was to just throw a party. Essentially that's what that was. And so just through a big party and a big potluck and invited every single parent who was interested in joining our multilingual potluck and we ended up with a pretty nice size group and then from there I think it's really important to not just stay in that space of, you know, celebrating diversity. We want to like continuously build community and continuously have opportunities to get to know each other but also to create some structures for parents to get involved in building the program together with me and you're in that group. Yeah, this is how we met each other. It is and it's led to a lot of really wonderful things and we've been building very slowly so there's something about really taking time in meetings to get to know people and then we set one meeting for our community agreements and another meeting just to talk about our values because the values around the table, we're all bringing in so many different experiences, lived experiences and so that really we needed to take a lot of time for that and now I think there were a few more steps and halfway actually getting closer to the end of the year we're now just starting to talk about our goals that align with the district equity policy and that's actually going to take another meeting because that was such a long rich conversation so yeah having those, you know, creating those spaces to come together and do things together is something that I feel has been really helpful. Yeah and powerful, you know, how do you feel like this is changing the experience for children? You know we've talked a lot about your experience as a child coming into the U.S. and having to grapple with this massive change in your life, you know, like what you're doing now in our community here in Vermont in this area how is that changing the experience of the children that you work with? So it's going to be hard for me to talk about this without crying I have to give you a heads up because I love your passion. It's a book so we sent, I found a book called the Arabic Quilt, this is just an example of what we're doing, sent it out to all of the Yale teachers and the community who receives our newsletter and I found a video of someone reading the book and the book is really, I highly recommend that anyone involved in multilingual programs reads this book because it's another story but it's similar to the one I shared earlier in this interview and it's about a little girl who comes into a school, elementary school and they make fun of her because she's speaking Arabic and what the teacher does is the best part of the book. She notices this and then she creates a lesson plan where all of the students names are translated into Arabic and they put it up on a wall and they make this quilt out of the students names and the part that is hard because I feel emotional about this but one of our EL teachers took that just took that opportunity and actually turned it over and did that project in her school with the help of one of our Arabic multilingual lizens translated students names into Arabic and so it's these kind of things you know finding the resources to you know the EL teachers do so much and then whatever that I can do to support them in the wonderful work they're doing and then it's they take sometimes they do something that will shift things. It's a cascade right you know by creating this space and allowing for acceptance and this welcoming culture to be allowed and to be you know just present. Now you see those those seeds growing right you see people from within this community that you've helped create taking off and creating their own things and you know okay I have to share a poem this is a poem I wrote in grad school and I was studying the theory and practice of peacebuilding and we were asked to we were asked to define conflict transformation with a haiku you know haiku is very short five syllables seven syllables five syllables right and so the poem goes one drop ripples but a thousand drops birth new life together we reign and it's this togetherness it's this collective participation that creates something new all on its own we we that's wealth right that's that's new creation right we this the the result that we're given and the continued results that come from that are far greater than the sum of the parts that we put into it right and you know I just I I'm gonna get emotional you know I'm gonna I I find that to be such a powerful experience and you know it's most people would would look at this kind of program that you're starting to develop and you're you're talking about having translators like a whole cater of translators for how many languages are you working with well we have I think around 36 in the district but we for the families that benefit from interpretation there's around 14 and then we have three multilingual isons yeah so like we I think from an outside perspective you know with the birds eye view someone just passing along they would look at that say wow that is so complicated and that's so much going on and you know that's got to be an inefficient process you know there's all these things that could be said but that that ignores the value that is created and the potential value that comes beyond that right you know this is this is uh you know I would argue that the the inputs the things that that you're having to spend to create this are rather marginal in comparison to the value that is produced on the other end thank you for saying that I really hope that's the case I mean I love to hear that the the things that those people who are involved in the program are doing are making a change and I think that's that's what that's the purpose is to make things better and I also want to add that by making things better for the multilingual and multicultural community it makes things better for everyone and that's the peace building part yeah that's what I was just about to ask is you know how are you how do you think you're building peace in the community like you know everything we've talked about is related to peace building but I want to zero in on that I want to distill it you know and I want to get your view on what that means for peace building you know how do you think you are actually building peace in our community today um I think we're building peace and that's the differences yeah we we are building thank you for that distinction together we're building peace and that's what's really exciting and it's something that I'm a part of and I um I watch our multilingual advisory council meetings and they're facilitated by a different member in the council every meeting and some of the things some of our goals that we have are geared towards helping educate people about the different cultures in the district and even creating a decision-making process within our advisory council and beyond the advisory council it is also about making sure that we are setting things up in a way that people have access to the things they need in order to participate equitably so anyone who needs interpretation should have access to an interpreter anyone who has children in the school district and there's there's also a lot of really wonderful organizations in Vermont that support immigrant people and for me as a newer multilingual coordinator I am reaching out to those organizations getting to know people creating this big network of support building social capital social wealth that's connected to our families so that we we know who does what and who can help with what and that's another part of it is kind of all hands on deck everyone everyone's helping it's not just this school building it's part of like a much larger fabric yeah yeah yeah well um I don't know what else I could say I think you said it right there and we the collective we are happy to have you be a part of this community I know I've been I've felt welcomed uh being a part of the advisory council and I felt welcomed and I know that my wife and her daughter who spent there my my stepdaughter Sarah she was born in Jerusalem spent her childhood in Jerusalem in Palestine right and a lot of the experiences you're sharing you know she's having to go through now and um it's through the efforts of the programming that you're putting together that I'm seeing those dividends pay out for our child you know we're seeing a very different experience for Sarah there's still issues don't get me wrong there's still challenges and you know when we're talking about creating space for many different kinds of cultures that's that can be a difficult thing to grapple with from uh from someone that's not used to it right but but on the whole um it's it's Sarah that that is important here right it's that next generation the future prosperity of our community is wrapped up in what we're talking about here it is absolutely yeah well thank you so much for being a part of the show I'm so glad that you were willing to do this interview and um yeah ladies and gentlemen this is peace talks it's brought to you by community wealth development and as you've seen today we speak with folks from all over the Vermont Vermont from many different walks of life that are all seeking to build peace in our communities today and I think we've seen a really incredible example of that with tomorrow parks thank you it's always great to collaborate with you Daniel yeah cheers thank you