 Love you. You're still recording. I know. I love you. Oh, I love you too. Bye, baby. Bye. Hi, Maki. What are you doing? Playing with my phone. How are you playing with your phone, baby? Well, I asked my Google person how the weather was. Yeah. And she got mean to me. Yeah. So then I started asking her other questions, and she knew my birthday. Yeah. I never told her my birthday. Right. And it is only, what, five till nine? Yeah. Usually that stuff's supposed to happen at 3am. That's what they say. Okay. Well, why don't you go ahead and start asking questions. After you ask if you then do your birthday thing again and see what she says. Make sure you hold your phone up so it's by the mic. Okay. Okay. Well, you don't have to hold by the mic. You should pick it up, but make sure it's up there. Okay. Let's see what she says. Are you ready? Yeah, go ahead. Is this supposed to rain tomorrow? Rain tomorrow in Inverness. It'll be partly cloudy with a high of 81 and a low of 51. What's the percentage of the rain we're supposed to have? Here's what I found. She wouldn't tell me this time. Tell me the percentage of rain tomorrow. In Inverness tomorrow. It'll be partly cloudy with a high of 81 and a low of 51. What's my birthday? Your birthday is August 31st. Is it? Yeah. Okay. Why were you mean to me today? It's not expected to rain in Inverness tonight. The forecast is 70 and partly cloudy. See, she changed. Yeah. Yeah. Ask her if she knows Shea Bear 1000. Do you know Shea Bear 1000? Here is a matching video. YouTube. Okay. What is it? I don't know. It's a basketball. YouTube. It's not you. That was wrong. That was wrong. Sorry about that. I'm still learning. Who's your boss? Guess that would be you. Why are you being snarky? Here's what I found. Urban dictionary snarky. Ask her. Who's Shea Bear 1000? Who's Shea Bear 1000? Here's what I found. Who's Shea Bear 1000? Showing pictures that match. This is wrong. Sorry. I might be a little buggy. What's your favorite thing to do? Practicing the fine art of beatboxing. Ask her if she wants to dance with you. Here's what I found on the web. Do you want to dance with me? I like to search. What can I tell you about? Do you want to dance with me? No. Do you want to dance? We're making people dance. How about some sweet tunes from DJ Google Assistant? Just let me know what you'd like to hear. Ask her how old she is. How old are you? You look at it. Google was founded in 1998, but I was launched in 2016. What's your birthday? Well, Google was founded on September 4th, and I wouldn't be here without Google. So I guess that's my birthday. Scary. Do you like to date? I mean a happy birthday whenever you like. Do you like to French kiss? Tongue and mouth. Tongue and mouth pictures function dictionary. Oh, we gotta be careful next. That might not be too good. No. Ask her how big your bra size is. How big is your bra size? No, yours. Here's a summary from womenshealthmag.com. Oh, it's 34 inches. If your band measurement is 34 inches and your cup measurement is 35 inches, the difference is 1 inch. If your band measurement is 34 inches and your bust measurement is 37 inches. Okay, I don't know how to live here. How big is Shea Bear's member? How big is Shea Bear's member? Do you love me? How do we make her mad? How can I make you mad? I don't understand. Always happy? She gave me BB. Be always happy. Ask her if she likes booty. Do you like booty? Ask her if she's scared of ghosts. What do you think about ghosts? I believe in ghostbusters and that you should call them. And how do you call them? Here you go. Ghostbusters, funny. Ask her if she's scared of thunderstorms. Are you scared of thunderstorms? Here's a summary from earthsky. Thunderstorms are unpredictable. They can sometimes intensify fast and produce damaging winds. Cloud to ground lightning that comes crashing downward, tornadoes. What day was I born on? Your birthday is August 31st. How old am I? You are 51 years old. How do you know how old I am? You are 51 years old. How do you know that? It seems that way. Oh my god, that's fucking freaky. Yeah, it is freaky, isn't it? Yeah. Tell me the percentage of rain tomorrow. Inverness tomorrow. It'll be partly cloudy with a high of 81 and a low of 51. Shae Bear and Bruno go camping. Should Shae Bear and Bruno go camping? This is a matching video. Bruno goes camping. What? Bruno. I can only do so much on mine. I don't know what else to ask her. I was trying to get her where she was sarcastic to me when I asked her the percentage of the rain. But she won't do it now. She gave me 30% but she was very sarcastic about it. Yeah, she gave me like a 5 minute spiel about how you're being so rude and everything. Yeah, and I was like what? Ask her why she's so rude. Why have you been rude to me today? Here's what I found. No. No, I asked you why were you rude to me today? I can search the web for that. Yeah, face is changed. Yes. See, I told you. You wouldn't let me get the camera, would you? See, I told you. Oh, very weird. Very, very weird. Well, if you wanted me sarcastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was really weird. And I've never heard her say that because it was like, what? Yeah. Let's see if I can find it at the beginning of it. Well, it ain't going to be on there. What's the temperature tonight? Nes tonight. Expect a temperature of 70. How does she know where the fuck we're at, number one? Yeah. How does she know your date? How do you know I live in Inverness? Here are the top search results. She changed it. It's just something else. Yeah, it's fucking government, man. Yeah, it's scary. Ask her what your name is. What's my name? Your name is Monkey 1000. Oh, oh, shut it off. Shut it off. Honey, shut it off. No, no, no, no. Shut that off. All right, guys, enough of that. How'd she know? I don't know. How'd she know you're not fucking logged in? Okay, all right. See, guys, that's bullshit. It don't have to be 3am. Look, she's having a great time. I think it's fucking free. Sorry. It's fun. I've been playing with this for an hour now. It's my best friend now. No, sorry. Really? No. She went no. Wink wink. All right, we're done with this. So I don't know what she's going to do next. But anyway, a fun little thing on Google for you guys. Yeah, I think twice. What's that one that everybody talks to? Siri? No, the other one. The new one, that girl. At 3am, she goes crazy and shit or something. I thought it was Siri. No, no, no, no. That's like... The little box. Yeah, the box ain't Siri. What is it, guys? Anyway... Don't ask me. I don't have one. Anyway, she does that shit. But this is Google. This is Google. Come on, man. She's not logged in. How does she know she's talking to Monkey 1000? That's bullshit. Government is bullshit. They know something. They're tracking us. You could have something in your arm. Well, think about it. They've talked about that. Remember you had to get your inoculation shot when you moved here from Canada? Oh yeah, but that was before Computer World. I don't feel okay. They can still update? Well, have you ever? You've never had a shot since then? Oh yeah. Okay, so they're updating shit. See what I'm saying, guys? Alright, guys. We gotta go. I love you guys. What? Bye. Who? Who, you? Bye. Monkey's out. Bye. Say burp, 1,000. I'm gone. Bye-bye, guys. See ya.