 I went through a phase of embarrassment around just the word Jesus. I felt I could notice some embarrassment coming up in certain contexts or publicly. It's funny to say it to somebody in a conversation, but in a public way it was almost like a threat to an image. And so I think for a lot of people it will say the Judeo-Christian world, which is pretty far-reaching. And I think that took me a number of years to kind of like be rinsed of it, so it wasn't something that was like just a quick pop it was gone. It was actually through a lot of rinse cycles and I think it's more of what the mind is associated with and comfortable with and familiar with. So in that's the general context for this, it's taking you out of the familiar. So I think there was a time when I think when you were here, Chris knew the latter part of you being here and there was a whole association with just the teaching don't ever take the Lord's name in vain and you just had a lot of anger that day in church and just decided to curse a blue streak in the chapel because it was part of that rinsing of that almost like threat. Like don't ever take the Lord's name in vain, like some of us were told that when we were children as if the Lord has an ego to be offended by profanity or that. It was more just like that God and love is sacred and don't ever forget how sacred love is or how sacred you are, that's really the positive interpretation but when it comes out as don't take the Lord's name in vain it's almost like there's a threat that there will be some huge consequence if you ever do, but that's more of an anthropomorphic God and it's a lot of washing free of any of the connotations around the words. Yeah, he does say in the Course, forgive me your illusions so you might say that when you do see the images and so forth that that's part of the forgiveness of letting go of whatever meaning the Christ is neither male or female or man or woman and it's a washing free of all that and the neighbor even came over and said, what happened to you? And she said, I've been forgiven. And I said, what are you talking about? And she said, it's just love, it's all God and love and then the woman asked what church do you go to and she said no church and then the woman was, well, it just started off with that but so now it's kind of gone more to just an expression that comes through but it's not so much of what the world would call Christianity, it's just coming from an experience but it is good just to watch any feelings you have around the words and I had to watch that when I was just beginning to go to Course groups and just being in and noting those little tinges of embarrassment and what's that? It felt like I was going on there, it was a good mind-watcher. I remember I was in Columbia and a young woman had come up and said, I have a question to ask but I'm way too embarrassed to ask it in front of this large crowd in Cali, Columbia with around homosexuality which she was identified with and which in this predominantly Catholic country just the very idea of bringing up the question, she couldn't even imagine doing it so she told the translator who was doing it in an enclosed booth to tell me after the break to explore the topic so we did but that was just the way the spirit took it so it could be explored in a way where it wasn't too threatening and she could benefit from the whole answer but there was no personal threat to that and that's also why we encourage a lot of mind-watching with movies because a lot of times you can identify with what's going on with the characters and you can see the transfer value in your own life, your own mind without that it was happening directly to you it would be way too intense I've always seen that as the value of travel just like fish out of water when you're in the same environment and they say familiarity breeds contempt it's that there is something very sneaky about familiarity that can seem to be cozy and comfortable and yet it can be delusional as well and not seen as delusional and that's the sneakiest of all traps to have self-deception and not be aware of it