 This is why narcissists mistreat you, this is why they treat you badly, cruelly and unfairly. How a person treats you is not always a reflection of who you are, how a person treats you is a reflection of how they feel about themselves and this is true for everyone but it is even more true for narcissists, people who are self-absorbed and lack empathy because they don't connect or attach to you, so they don't even know who you are as a person, all they have is their own feelings about themselves, what they project onto you, so how they treat you is nothing more than a representation of how they feel about themselves and sometimes they're in a bad mood, they're hating themselves, they feel insecure, so they will project that onto the person closest to them and they will expect you to take accountability for it, they will expect you to assume that it has something to do with you and they will see it as though you're consenting to this type of treatment because you're not leaving, they will see it as though it can't be that bad, when the narcissist first meets you sometimes there will be a love bombing phase and during this stage they may idealise you, they may think they're in love with you because they feel good when they're around you, so they will express this to you and they will treat you good because they feel good about themselves but in time the love bombing phase will end because it can only last for a short period of time, it's fake, it isn't real, it can only ever be an illusion, so it won't last for long because they don't have the tools to sustain it or to make it a reality, so soon enough the illusion will fall apart and then they won't feel good anymore and it may be because you said no to something or because you set a boundary and narcissists are like children, they're emotionally immature so they can't deal with boundaries, they can't deal with the word no because they want to be able to do whatever they want whenever they want to do it, so as soon as you do that they won't see you the same way anymore, they may even get mad at you at how they feel inside will result in how they end up treating you, because in their minds you did something bad to them and if they feel bad they will try to make you feel bad because that false character never even existed, it was something they invented based on your ideals and interests, they lied about who they were from the very beginning, they never presented the real authentic version of themselves to you, because they already know you don't want to see that but they wanted to get your attention, they wanted you to notice them, the reality is that if you present the authentic version of yourself from the very beginning and then the other person treats you bad so you start to feel bad, you never intended on doing anything bad because you were authentic from the beginning but narcissists are not authentic so they're not putting in as much effort and determination as possible and they don't have a genuine objective that considers you because they're not really being who they are and they weren't being who they are from the very beginning because they already know that if you saw that you wouldn't want anything to do with them and once you do catch on and you see who they regard they won't see you in the same way, they won't value you anymore because if you don't validate the illusion they feel bad inside they only feel good when you validate it, when you believe in it, when you accept it as your reality and however they feel is what they will project onto you, they can only give you what they've got and if they feel bad inside that's all you're going to get from them because they can't give you something they don't already have within themselves, they can't produce something out of thin air, it has to be something they've already generated within which they are then projecting onto you, you will know how a narcissist feels by how they treat you and once they begin to mistreat you there is no going back, once they know that you're not going to accept their false self they will crawl back to the hole where they belong and by that point all they can do is try to pull you into the hole which is why you need to become stronger and more confident in yourself because otherwise they're just going to drag you in and try to trap you because they already know they don't have the means to meet you halfway so by default all they can do is try to pull you into the hole where they can mistreat you and they will do that by giving you glimpses of a false character a momentary or partial view to make you believe that maybe you got it wrong to make you think that it's real but once they've got you there they're only going to mistreat you they're only going to treat you bad again because that's all they know how to do once the illusion falls apart they need people to validate the illusion so that they can feel good because they can't generate those feelings from within they're very insecure because they already know that it doesn't make any sense they already know that the illusion isn't real so they need people to validate it and if you're not going to do that it falls apart and then they feel bad so they will mistreat you because that's another way for them to support the illusion it makes them feel powerful and important it tells them that if they were not powerful then they wouldn't be able to affect you so they will beat you down and try to keep you there so that they can experience that sense of power so that they can feel like they have conquered you narcissists just want to feel powerful they want to feel like they have the ability to affect you and if something is not working in the way that they would like they will try something else thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.me slash narcaviva you can book a one-on-one with me on my website it's narcaviva.uk thank you for watching and i'll talk to you soon