 Hello everyone, welcome to the Narc Survival YouTube channel. Please hit the thumbs up and down below to show your support. Thank you. Proof, narcissists do not love their children. There's normally no greater connection in this world than what is shared between a parent and their child. But unfortunately this is usually contaminated by the narcissist as they affect it with their bad and undesirable qualities. Because narcissists are not motivated by connection or love. They're driven by their desire to maintain their false image. Because how people see them is very important to them. But this then complicates their relationships with their children. Because they don't value genuine connection. They just view people as objects. And their children and relationship partners are often nothing more than trophies or fashion accessories. Rather than them being separate individuals with their own personalities who have the right to live their lives under conditions that they decide. Narcissists view their children as possessions. They manipulate and control their children to their own interest or advantage without any consideration for them. Because they do not love them. They are incapable of loving their children. Instead they create this illusion of the picture perfect family which is really just based in shame and feelings of unworthiness and incompleteness. So they obsess over physical attributes and accomplishments. As though these are reflections of their own effectiveness, skill or expertise. There is a clear fixation on surface level characteristics rather than emotional depth which actually destroys the potential of any real connection in the relationship. Their golden child is expected to meet their parent's standards and expectations. And in the process they end up losing their own sense of identity while developing narcissistic traits. Their scapegoat child is seen as though they fail to meet their parents and realistic expectations and then they are devalued and abused. So an narcissist treat their children very differently because all they're concerned with is maintaining this illusion of perfection which is based on their own ideas or opinions. But it may also be based on reference to whatever certain people in their lives deem to be desirable. So it's not always a one size fits all. It may not be suitable for or used in all circumstances. And in fact at times they will shapeshift and try to mould themselves into whatever they think they need to be to extract the most validation. But that only works if their audience is on the same page about what they deem to be appropriate. Because otherwise it could have an adverse effect. They will often show favouritism to one child where they're given unfair preferential treatment often at the expense of the other children. And this child may also be used to manipulate and exploit their siblings for their own gain. When the narcissist isn't especially fond of the child they're just using them to dominate and control the other children. The narcissist is like the puppet master of the family dynamic. They are always pulling the strings. And each child is programmed and indoctrinated to behave in a certain way. Typically in an effort to win the parents approval other than the scapegoat child of course. Because the scapegoat child is the only one who truly understands the family dynamic and how it is affecting everyone. Which is why they are typically neglected or abused. While the other children may be showered with love and affection especially in public. But even then it isn't real. The narcissist doesn't really love their children. It's just something they use to gain admiration from people outside of the family. Which is why they will often neglect their children within the home. But then in public they will seem so loving and caring. Because that's how they want to present themselves to be. Even though they actually have no genuine concern for their children's happiness or well-being. All they care about is the show they put on for other people. Their relationship with their children is transactional and inconsistent. It's based on certain conditions rather than the child being loved unconditionally. It's all about what the child does for their parents. And it's only when the child achieves their standards that they are then deemed to be lovable. But even then the narcissist is never satisfied. So nothing their child does will ever be enough. And they will always feel like they're not good enough. But nothing can fill the void of a narcissist. Nothing will ever make them feel whole or complete. But there are short periods of time where the narcissist may shower their child with love and attention. If their child is doing something beneficial for them. But even then they just view their children as tools that they use to manipulate and control other people. And their children become their personal therapists. So when who has to listen to them complain every day or mediate disagreements. Which are responsibilities that they should never have to tolerate or endure. As well as this. The child may also be used as a weapon against the other parents. Which may make them feel like they are trapped in an unpleasant situation in which they lack freedom. Which of course will cause them agony and distress. Because they're being deprived of the proper guidance, support and direction. And they're being manipulated and controlled by their parents. So that their parent can indulge in their delusions of grandeur. While their own needs and desires are not noticed or considered. Because all their parent is concerned with is their narcissistic supply. They don't care about developing an authentic connection with their child. They just want to present an image of the picture perfect family. Which is actually very damaging to the child. As their emotional needs are disregarded. Because all their parent really cares about is their appearance and accomplishments. Rather than any emotional depth. Which destroys any real connection between the child and their parents. Because the parent just views the child as an object to a fashion accessory. Rather than a separate person with their own feelings once in needs. Which affects the child's personality and identity. Because they're in the copious amounts of pressure and control. They're not being allowed to develop naturally on their own. And instead the narcissist molds them into their desired image. Because all they want is an extension of themselves. Which strips away the child's individuality. Even if the child tries to express their unique qualities and characteristics. The narcissist will see this as an act of rebellion or defiance. And then they will coerce the child into compliance and submission. While also using the child that they show approval and preference for. To manipulate and control the defiant child. Because they're not concerned about the child's emotional needs or genuine connection. They're seeking dominance and control. So there is no room for love in that type of environment. Because they view their children as objects who has extensions of themselves. Who has pawns on a chessboard that they can use to manipulate and control the family dynamic. So they discourage self-expression, individuality and deviation from their expectations. And instead they suppress their child's identity. Because they're only concerned about their narcissistic supply. About gaining approval and admiration from other people. But then in private they will be detached and disconnected. It's only when other people are around that they will pretend to show an interest in their child. Because they don't care about their child's well-being. Their entire lives are a show. A performance. And everyone in their lives is just a supporting cast. When the child is a toddler it may seem like the narcissist loves their children. Because at that age the child is able to gain admiration from other people. And the child is obedient to the narcissist. They're not even able to talk yet at that age. So they see their child as their possession. As this thing that belongs to them. And the child always wants their attention. Which is a potent source of supply for the narcissist. So it may seem like the narcissist loves their child at that age. But as the child begins to grow older. And develops their own separate personality. That is when the narcissist will begin to turn against their child. And try to suppress their development. Because any unique qualities or characteristics are seen as an act of defiance and rebellion. While narcissists demand compliance and submission from their child. Because all they're really concerned about is creating this picture-perfect image of a family. Rather than any emotional depth. Which is why the children who support and enable the narcissistic parent. Ends up losing their identity in the process. And they all typically end up becoming narcissists eventually. While the scapegoat who receives unjust and unfair treatment. Tends to hold on to their identity. Rather than trying to conform to the picture-perfect family image. Which is why they tend to be the only child in the family. Who is able to experience a genuine connection. And that is why the entire family tends to turn against them. Because narcissists despise authenticity. It reminds them of how they're not authentic. And how they have to manipulate everyone. In order to get their needs met. Which is why if you are the child of a narcissistic parent. Your individuality will be mocked and ridiculed. And they will humiliate you in front of other people. In an attempt to prevent the development of your identity. Because they see it as a threat to the illusion. It exposes them. Thank you for watching. If you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up. Share your thoughts in the comment section. Hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications. If you would like to support the channel. You can donate at paypal.me-survivor. You can book a one-on-one with me on my website. It's narcsurvivor.co.uk. Thank you for watching.