 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Doctor said you had a sperm count lower than most women Yes, that's Hey gonna handle that. Oh I don't care. Are we live Matt? Yeah, we are. Hey mom. Hey dad shut up They're not watching Matt Sorry mister and Mrs. Brown do not watch this Episode number 37 of the Marty and Michael fully actual podcast We've look we've fucking we've we've got we've hit we've hit a rich vein of brand deals We've been hit up left run center and We're doing a trial run with mother and Athletic greens this episode and we just it's a trial run if it goes well next season We'll be fucking amazing and we'll pump all that money that we make back into the podcast and shit's gonna get crazy bitch lava guava So not to mention more good news. We're all on a fucking high the podcast sold out in like 40 hours Yeah, that's that's pretty quick 200 tickets gone. We'll admit I didn't think we'd do it I just I don't know I thought I just I thought it would take a bit longer I thought we'd need to sell to the public a bit, but yeah, I did but we pretty much just People and website yeah, we may need to put a story up to say that it's sold out because people are asking We can't get tickets. What's going on? Just say there are still some available and then put your PayPal details in And then you get the money and then block them Even mother glasses, but now now the realization has hit us We're gonna be doing what we're doing right now in front of 200 fucking people. I'm sweating already Matt is you you live in a concrete tower and you have we little puppets that you scream at and mince on And now you're gonna have 200 strangers gawking at you sitting on a fucking milk stool I will have them by the end of you have a new chair. You know it's episode 40, which means a new chair bear. Oh No Hang on. No, I got excited because I thought it might be something nice, but it's not Yeah, it might it's it's the 40th. Dude. It's the for finale. It'll be the seat you wear for the 10 next 10 episodes the next season Anyway, so we got this episode. We got Paulie and Blake coming on. We got the prank call We got bachelor brown. We got everything. All right, everything's fucking back. We're ready. Whoa. All right Now as we mentioned guys, we have two new brand deals today. So So just help us actually we have three we have a new segment this episode as well Sponsored by mother. So just fucking bear with us. All right I was gonna say Oh, yeah, and of course, please don't worry about commenting anymore like this We're still running the comment competition So the more times you comment the higher chance of winning a thousand dollars on the season finale But don't worry about that shit anymore. Just like subscribe and just watch the whole video all the way through Yeah, if there's some segments, you don't like just just go do the dishes We go do the dishes go have a shit have a shit let it play through and it's all about watch time and Five-star reviews on spotify, you know, we were ranked 46 highest comedy Australia yeah, I think we dropped out but we were at one point at that I'm sure we'd still be in the top hundred. All right for fuck's sake man. What are you doing? How ridiculous is it? Yeah, fuck me Five-star reviews on Spotify, please. All right, let's let's have a crack at these fucking sponsors come Okay Why why are you so sad? At home Is it maybe because You've made wrong decision after wrong decision That's kind of led you down a path where You're now overweight alone in a job that you hate And you can't get up in the mornings and you're sort of just waiting for the weekends to get on the piss Well, maybe you need to set up Open your fucking eyes and listen Because manscaped.com can help you you piece of shit you dirty dirty cunt Listen, open your ears Manscaped.com has all sorts of male grooming products so you can strip that hair off your back So women don't vomit at the very sight of you. You can't And they have some very exciting news Manscaped products are now in Woolworth's Really? Yes Before Christmas they're taking over Australia in time for the holidays They're life-changing hygiene products now available in all Woolworth's Australia retail stores So you can go and gift manscape presents to your loved ones using our discount code Fully actual 20. Do you understand? I don't know if that applies in Woolworth's But it's worth a try to say that you know us Because we know the bosses of manscaped. I used to work at Woolworth's too 100% Michael knows both of them cunt so manscaped.com fully actual 20 for 20 off and turn your life around Get up snap out of it before you know you'll be 50 You want to be 50 in a line? There you go. You cunt. You fucking cunt. It was so for women also for women Dude you break the table calm down Um, yeah, and they got like um, they're they're signature lawn mower thing as well. All right, so Oh look, why are you so destructive? Look, it's oh Blake and Paulie Is everything small? You got karma. Yeah, everything's good Why are you so destructive the flyers are here the schlalak lala All right. Let's quickly do athletic greens, right now. This is a brand new sponsor everyone. All right So fucking hold on to your hats. All right Now do you do you do you know what athletes greens is Matt? No good I'm glad that you fucking don't because I do athletic greens is this powder here. Okay It's 75 of the densest most bioavailable nutrients that help you You me health wise massively Why do we take ag1? I don't know. Why do we take it? I'll tell you why because there was a time in michael's and eye's life in our early 20s When we sat down one evening and we did 15 We did 16 16 Okay, 16 and following six months. All right, we couldn't think properly. I didn't laugh or smile I didn't know who my own parents were so we have a lot of damage to undo and ag1 I'm fucking serious about this Will help you that they literally does I come I come over in the mornings and I have my ag1 I notice my blood pressure's gone down And I feel great Matt. You've got to start taking it. You Why are you not taking it yet? It's around the house. It's free for you And all you're gonna do is just open one of them powders Put it in a glass of water, right? And then you're sweet. First of all go to manscaped Second of all get athletic greens ag1. All right And at least counteract some of the shit that you do to yourselves over the weekend to make it easy athletic greens He's going to give you a free one year supply of immune supporting vitamin d and five. That's free Travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athletic greens.com slash fully actual Okay, again, that is athletic greens.com slash fully Actual to take ownership of your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. Can't I fucking love it. It is good. Like I I wasn't that big a fan of the flavor, but I just skull it Look, we're always going to be honest with you guys. I just skull it Michael and James love it Yeah, Michael and James love the flavor. You will hate it You will fucking you'll think it's disgusting, but just just skull it and give it a try Yeah, so if you're a fucking love your benders get some ag1 It's like a monthly subscription. They send you new shit every month. Trust me It's not bad julian Shut up. Have you got it? I fucking love it. It's literally I'll have it and then feel better Instantly, I'll have more. It is pretty instantaneous. It is and I'm not lying about that. I'm not saying that just for the sweet sweet cash So much money right now. Holy shit, but we're not saying it for that I wouldn't even be Considering this if it didn't work if this didn't make me feel better Matt. I would say no, thank you. You can hang on to that check What's wrong man, huh? Have another mother Yeah Fuck anyway Yeah, so uh go and have a look Sorry, anyway boys. Um, look we have fucking Paulie and Blake have just arrived if you don't know who they are Fuck you They're from charmie's crew Blake does uncut kitchen and paulie is just a fucking menace man He goes out and king hits old dudes on tiktok You've got to look him up paulie on tiktok. It's fucked up He's facing like what 17 charges at the moment of grievous bodily harm It's hilarious. Yeah, it is honestly so funny. They are not expecting it new age comedy Just get someone to film and just even hit a woman. Yeah, right at the base of the skull and she dropped hard Man, anyway, all right, let's get um, let's get paulie and Blake on some mat Can you just fucking stand over there? Do you want a bon break first? Or just want to? Yeah. Yeah, that's a great idea Oh Is that close enough? Yeah, that's all you hear me Paulie's real hair Can you see my beautiful face hasn't cut it for ages? Yeah Well, this is jingle. Yeah, something's up with that one. Have a little feel of the brown Decent one Oh, sorry, that feels so good And we're back. All right, we're here with fucking paulie and Blake We've been meaning to get you boys on and fucking she keeps coming up But he's our third time's the charm excuse is that we're fucking here in the flesh and paulie's highs fuck right now I'm not gonna do that. What did you guys do today? Oh fuck. We got stoned and then we basically went into Where was that? Oh, yeah, we played our hide-and-go-seek at a big w stoned. Oh, wow with gopro. So We went to an abandoned house and I got we did a weegee board and I became possessed and Found my and chase michael and ray played catch and ray. Well, we should hang out more We look like the same kind of we're doing the same shit. Just like a pg of oh, I guess you're on drugs But yeah ours was yeah, we weren't on drugs We're playing hide-and-go-seek and the staff are like looking at his hiding behind this shit and we're fucking grown adults What the fuck are we actually doing? I give it up to people at big w. They helped us hide Oh, really? And then I heard I go. Yeah, the kids are back there. We're like kids I need a girl. I need it. Oh for bad day. What a loser So you guys have been with fucking how did you guys get involved with with shami and the boys? I think that was a start. Shami signed up for your only fans or something, didn't he? Yeah, it was basically my only fans and then you got in touch with me and said they got in touch About a root. You and flopper. Yeah, basically. Yeah, that's how it all come about There's a fucking video that Julian and I is quite what what is it the fucking cock fucker? Yeah, yeah, he's on before even a new about you. We always say that. Yeah, it's addictive to say Yeah, he fucking props it to every can comes out to him. Cock fucker Loves it. Has he ever cheated on his wife? Cause now's the time to say something I reckon. Oh great. Let it out now. Hey, if you're lucky to pick up a call, then I had a fucking wife. That kind of thing was fuck Has he got a good dick? Is that why it's flopper? Yeah, that's what he says. He just fluffed out. Yeah, as you know, he gave it to himself Is it running the family or? Wow, I don't know. I have to sign up to the only fan. Yeah So how'd you get involved? Did you know shami before? Yeah, we all hung out. Um, fuck I don't even know. I think it was just I met the boys at a party or some shit. Um, and then I was doing videos with them while I was in construction And he's like, yeah, jump over and come work for me. And I said, no And here you are. I said, no, no, I'm easy breezy on the sideline Um, and then over time they came up with the uncut kitchen and like we'll give you our own kitchen show And I was like, yeah, so it's over. So how the fuck do you know to call? Well, you just that's the thing I don't He's a train chef. We know we thought you were a train chef. No, you are he's trained in nothing He's got a guarantee. I'm not even trained in podcasting. I said, would you say podcasting? Casting like I'm fishing. No, I'm not really. So it happened about, I don't know about three and a half years ago Single most of my life and I was just always eating the same shit And I had nothing else on I was always skateboarding my body started deteriorated a bit And I was like, I need some kind of new hobby And I was just always partying and doing drugs and shit. And I was like, you know what, I'm going to just start cooking Um, because my plate was just all meat. I used to go to the supermarket like the main meat one in bundle or something Goldy and I would buy like 300 dollars worth of meat and then I'd wrap it up and I would have like if I'm a getting came Like I was sweet for at least half a year of just me. So I just had sausages chicken steak like everything like that No veggies or nothing And so I just self-trained and just started getting into it and I was I'd get drunk in my unit and film it myself Is there any houses? And then they kind of seen that going. Oh, yeah, let's put those two together and get this shit can't cook So I was falls kind of like went into it Drove straight in and I was like, I know like three recipes off hand and the other 220 or something I've done now I've never cooked them before you never make a mistake or anything That's how are you so well you do make mistakes? I guess but you I like Doing stuff and just you have to do it the camera is rolling like we kind of set it up like All right, you can have these days where you practice and I was like, yeah Yeah, sweet and once I got kind of confident. I was like fuck the practice. This is shoot Yeah, and so I'll do it and then when at the end the results like I was like, so that's how you do it. I was like Oh my god, do you eat it all or the boys this time? I I pan it off to the other boys I've been trying to get them fat for a few years now. It's worked on a few of them But I um, yeah, I gotta I go back in I want to keep going and Yeah, half the time I'm kind of drunk and yeah, I don't really eat that much when I'm drunk Usually just when I'm wasted So I feed it to them and then I just pick out it and yeah, whatever But I surprised myself more than anything. So that's what I kind of push in cooking is like Look, you can say all this and that like I'm gonna cook Shit fuck driving a camera in front of your face and cooking every day like it is doable So like you guys have ate my food tastes like piss a bit No, no, you made that piss taste all right. Yeah for those of you haven't seen on the website Blakey cooks a three course meal and the main ingredient was piss. What was it? It was piss batted fish shard fish everything Piss batted sword jelly It was oh, yeah the bender jelly piss The boys after we bended we filled up these bottles and then we sat out in the sun for two weeks And they brought their own fermented piss as well So we put them together and we made food I can still smell it. Oh, man. It's like locked in me. I can still smell that fucking horror You shat on the fucking plan as soon as you ate it. Oh, yeah I vomited on Marty You vomited me and vomit. Yeah, that's a Why is it a rough day? Why? It's delicious. I thought yeah. Oh, yeah He just does that with everything he eats. He's blaming. So that's what happened I kind of just snowballed from there and I'm about I know maybe probably up to like 230 meals now Yeah, wow all different meals. I saw I never thought before then I had about two or three meals I've cooked that I know off by heart and then the others are kind of learnt off books and like off internet and that But I'll just put stuff together what you kind of want to eat and try and make it easier for people at home and People from around the whole world send in their results like I'm in the kitchen now Blake I've got a root fucking my man. That's the whole mission if you get a root Like don't go go on to a dinner and take them out in your first day So here's the Titans like you don't know what you're talking about be at home Put something on you're just whipping up in there having some wine to drink the Talking starts going and then this chicks like damn this mother fucking kind of cookie burnt that a little bit But this guy can cook and you're already at home. And that's the whole you're at home. You've got a home Yeah, are you taking her out somewhere to try and get her home easy to drug them then too if you make No, well, if you if you drug them the saddle at the right time they you get two meals you get to eat And they don't even eat they're just and you can put it in the freezer and save it for the next one. Yeah, exactly Yeah, well Jeffrey should have done that That's why you got caught so many things are seen that Jeffrey fucked up on like I like the excuse that the freezer broke down to get away from a meat thing But he should have chopped up shit and froze it for real no one would smell it Yeah, that's so true. You shit fucking shit. I don't think you could afford like freezers though. He's such a poor I was watching that chopping up a bodyguard amateur. What a loser He didn't season it correct. Yeah, that's some salt on that So what's the plan like after so what's the end goal with this? Well, what do you because you guys fucking party a lot? How often do you guys party at show me like because it seems like you guys fucking party like a lot So how on average in a month? No, how many times do you guys get on? Well, we get on it a lot But I feel like we've cut down a little bit I don't know maybe maybe because the whole fucking corona shit too Everyone just started staying at home and wanking online and put on only fans are going You know what? I can make money and not leave the house and Yeah, I don't know like I feel like it's tying down a bit. But yeah, we still get on it Usually once a week at least yeah where before it was like three or four Yeah, well before I met those boys. I was really like the group I came from like we bended a lot Like we did two to three days straight. Yeah, it was a bender king. Yeah Yeah, I've gone a bit over those days. I loved it Yeah, fuck when's the last one world that we hadn't had a we haven't had a bender like a good two three day session years Yeah, you hear a bird whistle me like That is literally when the best shit starts to happen. Yeah, everyone's so twisted, but everything's funny too Oh, yeah, have you seen this pencil hasn't got a rubber on the end? We should buy a business together You should dump your girlfriend man. You should get in the park You just go on. I love her man. But yeah, it's taking off bender stories You told me and I can't really remember it that well, but it ends in some fucking carnage When we were down at charmey's once you told me a story about a pool cue. Can you explain? Chris johnson big shout out to chris. Yeah, that's crazy. Oh, yeah Yeah, we're on a bender and um this one it was two and a half days in and they'll play and pool and the someone put the pool cue against the pool table and Chris got pushed or he tripped. I can't remember And as he tripped the the table got shook a bit and the pool cue fell down And he felt the same perfect time it dug into the carpet and went straight through his body and out the other side Oh my god, it's skewered because it was 10 10 mil or something like that off his spine Oh That much through Through his You're just watching your mate And I love chris and he's one of the best benders ever. He's like Uh like that. I'll just grab the chalk and no But yeah, he got yeah, he got skewered and he's just sitting there like And yeah, man, he got like like so he came through Here and out the back About that much out. He's back. So what did he do? Did you guys laugh? Oh, I had to I would have to finish the game What's the reaction when that happens? Did did anyone laugh like black balls? I guess um, no it was intense man. It was kind of that like Ha And then that other thought of oh, I'm not going to the hospital I'm fucking cool. And then yeah, he he got a fucking he had a shit bag for like so long like a little I can't remember what that called man But yeah, he had a girlfriend at the time and she had to like wipe his arse and shit And he's still got crazy scars here and his belly buttons over here now Whoa, but I reckon it was a couple more mil and it would have Yeah, that's either gone like what the queue the pool queue end bit was sharp enough to just go through His he's the pressure the body. He's like six foot fucking three or something Man, that is fucked. And like so when he's fallen, that's like a lot of weight and because the pool queue grabbed into the carpet It's it was just the perfect timing. Yeah, it's just one of those things So if you're playing pool guys, be careful when you're bendering. Oh man, so I went straight through Yeah, he went he went to the hospital when everyone kept bendering, but yeah, oh, yeah, you got it I think you call them an Uber or something and off use went So did he leave it in just and then just run out to the he had to leave it in and then when They he went into surgery and yeah, they they took it out and just straight through him and um I don't know if he kept that part of the pool queue or someone wanted it back But yeah, it wasn't the same show. Have you got is anything topped that and a bender story? There's oh man, there's so many of them. Oh, there's one that will honor I'm not sure Well on this island or something more camping and they ran out of drinks and the nick and pat dandy is this crazy guys pro skater He's just a nutter. He um They went to get more drinks had to come off this island or some shit and He goes, oh, Nick, can I take you need for before it drives like yeah, yeah, and they're all on Mandy And he gave it some and nick had his seatbelt on pat didn't And they swung out and hit a tree head on and pat went through the windscreen And went through it pulled his face out of the glass looked at nick He goes am I all right and his nose just flipped that way off And he goes, you know, and he put it back on then it flipped down He's like do I can I can still drink and then he went I've got photos actually I'll give it to you guys to And yeah to wank too, but his whole face was demolished He went to hospital And then nick went with him or one of the boys and then I heard this And they want needed a skin graft He goes no, and they just banished it off. He goes no I'm going back to a park anyone bended for another two days with his half his face off Whoa. Yeah, and he just kept going man. That's the the group that I came from man Like yeah, like I try to push this on to shami or that and um, yeah like that Are they dead now some of them? Jesus. Um, no, they're just a shitload of scars like Well, they come out of benders and shave half their head and half their face and then Yeah, I don't know if I think about this worse stuff than that. Oh, yeah, well, we got to get into it Then paulie you're coming up. Yeah, what's what's what about you paulie? You surely you've done some Fuck shit, man. Yeah. Well, I remember actually on a on a bender There's me mate's mom This is gonna sound sick for a little bit, but I had this goat in this paddy cry It was fucking skits like you go up to the fence And immediately just like fucking kicking out the side of the fence trying to get you and spitting Like actually like this thing was fucking psycho We used to jump the fence and there was this big gum tree out in the middle of the paddock As soon as you got in there, that was like a fucking bull just steam train and like pissing ourselves laugh and tripping over Trying to run around this fucking gum tree. We got back. We're all running back with this massive herd I've jumped through a couple of jumped over and zack one of my other mates he's jumped His cock has landed on top of the steel wire that runs along the top of the fence and it's just squashed in between his stomach And the fucking full force of his cock Actually blew it out to like this fucking ball Like it was this purple look like a purple fucking cricket ball He's got his hands in his pants. He didn't want to get his cock out and I'm just going probably like honestly He's like, I don't want to fucking look. I don't want to look I was like probably just give us a look just get it out. You gotta get it out Anyway, he's like, no, I'm fucking not getting it out. The missus fucking. She's gonna dump me. She's not gonna want to root me I can't root her Yeah, he pulled it out and I'm just like, oh, yeah, she's gonna dump you And we're not friends anymore So he ended up going to hospital and they put it in a in a splint. Is it? Oh, yeah Yeah, and it had to he had to hold it up on his guts for fucking the next week or something like that And it's that fuck it. Yeah, so it's still worse. Yeah, he's pumped out a kid. So wow, but the kid came out of a fucking wall Holy fuck man, that's some mutilation story. Did anyone fuck the goat? I thought you were going to go The goat was gonna die like some of julian's stories What were you guys like at um a school you guys the little fuckwits at school? Yeah I was a fucking Little I think the words can't Yeah, I I I was always in detention always in trouble Always failing, but I loved school like I was the only one in my whole family generation to actually finish They thought I was going to be the one in jail and not finish But I actually got to a point where I was like, I think one teacher mr. Waller the south african teacher He's like Like you can do this you can be do all this fucking around but just don't get caught And for some reason that just stuck with me. I was like, he's right like He's like you don't get caught. So that just made me him worse and then I was getting teachers fired and shit And I was got way more fun. I kind of kid. Well, you What had you found? My dad was in My dad was in um construction. So you dropped me off early at school. So I had all the time in the world So I'd go steal shit from the sports fucking cages that unlock them the janitor before even the teachers got there And I'd so I'd have a vortex And I'd stand up above it was kind of like above the talk shop and I'll peg these vortexes that people's head Well, they're trying to get food Mr. Miskin this guy came over this nerd teacher just done computers and shit and he's like Blake look come here. All right. I go fuck off liskem He's like, what'd you say? You can't swear at me. I'll go. Oh, you can't swear at me Don't tell me to fuck off. He goes no, I didn't no, no, no You swear at me. I go mate. You just told a kid to fuck off. He's like No, no, no, no you and I said guys, did you hear that little boys? They always have about they go ma you shouldn't do that to a kid And then I've gone mate. I'm going the principal No, I'm going the principal and then we kind of were rushing to the principal door and that guy hated me and he's like whatever and um, I thought I was getting suspended but then Jacob marty my mate's real smart guys. I can't believe he swore it out And he was a great student never in trouble. I yeah, did you hear he goes? Yeah I'm like, so I went with I go. Can you be my witness? He's like, yeah And so I remember rocking up to this meeting miss. Mr. Hayes. I'll go it is time Melbourne And then I just brought in the a plus student And then the other teacher's there and he's like, oh, so he got yeah He got I got suspended three days and he got suspended two days and he's like a real good teacher Wow, that's such a beautiful Life a bit. Yeah, he would have fucking despised you. Yeah, like there was so like the school for me I figured out that there's a pay phone and every time I get sent up to the office I was like, I need to get this before phones like iPhone like mobile phones It's like I need to get the word in when my dad before they get the story because if you get your first one They go off your story because I'm blood like this consists of teacher So I worked out that they had this pay phone that no one used and I'll get sent up the office So I went fuck this call data go away. They're gonna ring in blame it or blame me for some shit Ra Ra and I remember going in and mr. Hayes always after he's like, like he's got this face I've got you this time and I put my he's like I'm ringing your data go gay for it And I put my feet up on his desk. Yes. Get your feet down. And when he got the phone to him I put him back up and he's like, yeah, it's mr. Melbourne. Yeah, it's a good bloat I No, I don't know where you got Okay Okay Back to class. I started learning how to like you should have called in a bomb threat on your way to the office school to me my uh, my cousin actually did that with candles He did it we put he wanted to not go to school and they on the weekend They put a fake clock with candles and done a bond threat and then they um, yeah, I didn't open up the school until they found it for three days Oh, fuck. That's genius. Yeah, there's just candles and a fucking bed clock So there you go. If you want to get out of work with school guys bomb the cunts Pretend to well I found out school was fun, man. If you turned it to your table It was like social it was just like a social occasion And it was more fun for like recess and lunch come class time. It was just like sleep time How'd you just fake notes too at the talk shop? I learned how to print money and then I was using fake notes. I wasn't paying for Holy shit Turn the place upside down. Yeah, fucking hell. Like I went to the same school Steve Owen. Oh really? Clander, I might with how how he would have been like well graduated, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, fuck No, no, we both went to prom together bro. He's a couple of years above me Was he school captain or anything? I wonder how he was at fucking school. He would have been the biggest bogey man He goes, I want to hang out on him Because I remember growing up going to going to his thing and he was always just sweeping the cage This is before he was known. He's like, how's it going guys? You see the crocs? You're like, fuck it And then he got a whole fame. I was like, damn it. I wish I got friends with him Wow What about your um, your parents today, what do they think about what do they think about what you're doing poorly? um, so obviously, um I spent a lot of time with flopper flopper actually the uh, he he brought me out my parents passed away when I was younger Oh, fucking no, but um, so Oh, he he loves it. Like he thinks it is, you know, yeah, well, he's fucking easy in the videos And um, my auntie will she just goes with the flow. She Yeah, she loves it, but she's like, oh, you should do I got this idea and you know, you should put all the paper on He's back or something. It's like, oh, that's a great one Shut up, auntie Shut up All right, I just want to say it's a fucking shitless idea. I've never heard my fucking life But I sort of got a suit, you know, she's She did a lot for me like I got growing up. You do it probably still get millions of views Uh, fuck But yeah Oh, wow. What about your parents? Are they proud of you, Blake? I'd say so Do they talk to you about the shit that you do? Uh, yeah, they profit. So dad's like retired now and he plays He's always played lawn bowls and he um, there's an actual uncut kitchen lawn bowls team in tazzy Oh, he went to tazzy back home and and I'm not from tazzy. I haven't got fucking to But he He went there and he's got they've got all shirts and now he's a big dog in fucking tazzy. You're like, hey, that's fucking That's no idea like I'm like son Blake's son. Wait, that's that's that's like dad. That's like Nigel's son. Yeah, so you guys know more about My mom's a legend man. She's fucking yeah, is she hot? Yeah, she sounds. Yeah, she is cool Dad's an idiot because they were married. He had this mustache and shit had a bang and wife and he blew it when I was two I was like, and then he had all these deadbeat girlfriends after that. I'm like The only cool girlfriend he did have he dated this chick for like 15 years and my stepdad was like, uh, The police commissioner of australia. Oh, Queensland. Sorry. Yeah, Bob Atkinson So like I used to be when I was a little shit gone like drinking at parties I'm like, oh, hey dad's take us home to these other days. Like, oh black. Yeah, I'll fucking tell Bob So I was just to get free lifts and go on there right here. I just annoy the fuck out of him So what do you guys think you'd be doing if yous weren't doing vids? Well, what job would you guys have? I'd still be wanking construction. What were you doing to construct you later? Yeah, no I was doing I was 13 years of concrete pumping my last job was at east coast Matt does that matt matt matt wholesome from house. Oh wholesome. You're an agi driver Were you an agi driver? Did you miss concrete? He's always So you'd know east coast then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He loves ordering. So yeah I was like, I ran a few drop sites and I actually fucking loved my job. It was very stressful and you can Fuck up very easily and cost the company like Fucking half a million within a couple of minutes if you lose a line or does that if you crash a pump Yeah, happens. Did you ever do that? Um, I never crashed a boom pump or flipped one a lot of people have only one time They get fired then immediately. No, no, there's well depends on how they set up on that But it's a very risky job where a lot of people when some things can go bad real quick Because it's concrete, right? But under that I thrive under it. I'm like, it's going bad And I'm going to fix this and I was a young guy and everyone out those older people Like they wouldn't risk putting old concrete in, you know, put concrete in a pipeline after like Close to two hours old. I'm like, we'll get this kind in but like I understood concrete a lot well but like I was rural risk taker which Kind of excelled me in it, but very ballsy because Yeah, you fuck up man. It's not a very good feeling you got 30 meters or 30 stories of a tower with concrete. It's gone off and heavy pipes It's a shit show. All right. So you there's no social media left. You can't go back to that job. What do you do? Oh, I don't have fans only fans sell this shit dick I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. No, I'm not a chef. I wouldn't work. The funny thing is about what I'm doing Now I've really skipped the line those poor chefs Wash dishes and do all the cooking the hard yards all weekend work I rock up drink beer cooks some shit and then fuck off and I've got nothing to do with like I don't have a chef. I'm not a chef and so yeah, I don't think I'd ever be a chef Yeah, it would be taking that way. It'd be there's no there's no life. It's kind of hectic. You have to really Love it, but I don't know what I'll do to be honest like we'll start thinking about it. All right I'll think about it. What about you pullie pullie. So yeah, I um, I worked at my last job for 16 years I used to drive a loader back in northeast Victoria like in the sticks Yeah, we used to unload log trucks. Oh, they come in from the all the pines and I'd unload the log trucks and we're talking like trucks that are like what 10 meters long 20 yes, so Concrete and wood What are we doing? So basically, yeah, the log trucks you just come in and I'd unload the log trucks With your hands just with me hands, I just go Chop the ropes and then grab them and put them in the pile But yeah, then I moved up here and I drove a dump truck I went for a load of driving it ended up on this dump truck where I was driving it around for 11 hours of the day just thinking I want to fucking kill myself like this is fucking death like just in and out of this one hole Yeah, that sounds hard. Fuck dude. Fuck in and out of this one hole. You're still doing that Every week and you're in and out of a hole It's gonna be hot if we run the wigs man, I'm sitting you guys fuck my ears Yeah, they get so itchy, bro. We can't turn the fan on it's just fucking hot in here the rest of the house is We've only got two more episodes in here. Then we got the live show Yeah, we're doing a live show And there's gonna be 200 fucking people watching us do this imagine this with 200 people there Instead of them two times a hundred is gonna do it naked Uh, what's what's your favorite beers? I've um, I used to be my first beer I got onto when I came here and met all my skateboarding mates They just I never used to really drink beer, but I started on bb I have a drink that for a while now now. I'm on to like xba So the bolter the bolter But I feel like they fucking get you with a hangover or I'm getting old. I don't know which one the strong ones too Yeah, so I black out on which is fun. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the whole point, right? Yeah 100% My choice would probably be like if it was just one if I was giving one beer Just give us one of the big fucking king brown baby long necks. So it's Hot day Hey, um How about boys you have you we're doing a we do a lying segment, right where we lie to locky every week we try to Should we try and get the boys to help us lie to locky? It's his birthday today. Yeah, he'll probably be fucking doing something whiny. Fuck it. We got to try. I'm the best lie I've lied this whole show What can we do my whole life? It's not bad at a prank call actually All right. Well, well, let's fucking um I'll put my phone on private Yeah, maybe maybe what's uh, what's we need the subject? What's the subject? Yo something about his dad and uh Or something that's been stolen or something G'day mate. It's council Hanson here from Palm Beach police station. I've only speaking with a uh Of he's he's really on to like he's he's he's like because we've lied to him like a lot and he picks up Yeah, yeah, he's well It's thursday night. So it was so we got a that's what i'm thinking He won't he won't immediately recognize either of your voices. Yeah, fully So let's try and use that to our advantage He probably won't answer a private call to be honest We got to try it So we call private and we say look why don't we call greg and blake can talk because greg won't recognize Blake's so something about his student a kid. Yeah. Yeah. So greg is greg is our old tennis coach from like when we were kids And we've just remained friends ever since So and he's yeah, he's a fucking tennis coach. So let's just call him you pretend to be a dad or one of the kids and just say say that One of the coaches hit a ball into your kid today and he's come home with a big bruise on his back He's gonna say what what's the kid's name? Yeah. Yeah. Just say yeah, just say um, kandace Yeah, it's it's gonna be up to me a little timmy or luke or something. You've got this black Oh, he's greg Yeah, hi greg. How are you? He's uh I'm just uh, is this greg from Yes, yeah, how's going mate? Um, I just want to talk to you about uh, my son luke came home Uh, one of your young coaches has just been belting him with the tennis balls. He's got three bruises Two on his hip and one in his back Um, he's telling me mate that the coach has taken it out on him Like i'm taking my kids there to get taught how to play tennis not taught how to take welts on the back I made a hundred percent and sorry. Sorry. What's your kid? What's your kid child's life mate? Harper luke harper yeah Um, it's just disappointing because i'm taking him there to discipline and Yeah, no a hundred percent is this at which venue are you um kelvin grove? At kelvin grove. Yeah, he's in um, I can send you through the picks. It's pretty disturbing like I'd yeah No, no, no, I like because I want to go down the courts and just line him up You know what I mean and get a tennis rack and show him how good my backhand is No, no fair enough. He's he's so young mate. It's just ridiculous. He's 13 almost 14 And like that he has a few bruises that's from me, but that's he's my son so I don't need him to go to tennis and get bruise from some other guy And then you got two blokes bruise and one kid. That's not fair You know what I mean? Like it's he's getting hit with tennis balls I don't know apparently got put up against the fence and he goes. This is how you do it pull your shirt up And then he serves bloody a 140 at him Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is uh Oh We fucking had you there for a big problem is Right, the problem is No, there's no Luke Harper. So I'm like Luke Harper and then I went age is like Oh, man, then 13. I was like, no, there's no one in the world Maybe the 13 rolls would even play that game. Yeah, I don't know shit about tennis. That's why I just picked that That was but you're pretty good though What would you do Greg if that fucking happened if we fucking you get a call as one of your coaches Tennis ball and a kid can't Mate, I've been in bed sick or And so I'm not I'm not answering my phone Sorry, this this is Blakey that the boys told me if I got you got you for at least a minute I got like some free sessions or something. So is that still on the table? Oh You were scared for a little bit you will worry them and you thought you were getting sued hard come No, I was like, uh, well like when I was like, no the first part of it was like pretty good because It just sounded so well done Sorry about that Greg. No, that's okay. No, no worries. Sorry to waste your time. Um, I guess we'll um, we'll chat to you later Yeah, go back to bed and then sleep off your disease. I don't vlog my kitty though. I don't have one But he's my son I can't both be floated. It's not fair Very good. Oh, we have fun boys. Yeah, it's wise, brother. We'll chat to you soon. Hey Yeah, righty Anyway, got him a got him a little bit. Yeah, no, they counts it half counts Yeah, we should have jumped in as soon as he was looking We should that's when we should have jumped in we made a mistake Well, I didn't realize how much you guys have got him or also wouldn't have gone down the lines of the whole Flogging thing a bit too much for the day Yeah, I was like, I was like, I was sort of wanting you to get real fired up and start abusing him Well, I was leading up to it. I just wanted to put some stuff in first and get him thinking Yeah, yeah, but it was the third day. I actually got 13 14 I was like, I don't know shit about tennis. Don't you start young to be good? Yeah, dude. Yeah, you got to start when you as soon as you're born. Oh, yeah, as soon as you're born So you came out just back in the swing and ended a racket. I think I said to him I think you served a 140 out of isn't like a 140 if you're talking miles. Yeah, that's pretty accurate. Yeah I know tennis. Look at that All right, boys. Well, thank you very much for coming on That's you're welcome to sit and watch the rest of the show Always can fucking have it do some burnouts and then fronting on was if you just want to do you got any food in the fridge Yeah, go help yourself. It's maths Oh to go All right, guys, we're gonna have a quick a bong break and we'll be back with the rest of the shit. Hell yeah All right, and we're back go Michael Go go quick What the fuck man? What is this? Oh, man Oh, do you want to swapy swapy? Yeah, that'd be lovely All right, man, you know what it's time for It's time for the bachelor Brown segment and this is a segment where we help our mid 40s friend He's 35 I'm 35 find someone to spend the rest of his life with because he does not know how He's been single since he's like 15 or some shit I have no doesn't know how to talk to women anymore. And today we have a very special Bachelorette come on and actually Michael and I are going to leave and just let you Take center stage here because I feel like sometimes I know we're trying to give you guidance You never fucking leave but sometimes I feel like we might be like it's too much information coming in And we'll give you very simple straightforward Just stay confident and just try and keep the conversation flowing. You're a confident mid 40s man You're at a high level job at concrete 30s. Okay. Concrete is your life. It's runs through your veins You can do this matt brown All right, I don't like that. He's at the door and I don't like that. You guys are taking off your shit. Fuck me It's a lie. It's a lie. Can this week's bachelor bachelor at brown. Please come forward and sit right here Is it poorly that'll be nice This is gonna get weird Put your headphones on what an honor baby, then you can hear me Hello, hey, how are you? I'm good. How are you? Oh, that's fucked. What are you doing? Be normal? Why you're all standing over there stop jumping around you're making the camera shake talk to me There you are very nice skin, where are you from? Thank you. Um, so I've got a uh, italian background and a spanish background. So have you got any italian in you? No, maybe, uh, No, yeah Paulie if you do you know what you've committed to Absolutely, if I pick you in the top five, you got to come to the live man, mate. I'll be there That's if he makes top five Um, I know you're making me nervous now Oh, yeah, do you like Lord of the Rings? Honestly, I I don't but I would love to sit down and start from the start of Lord of the Rings And you can show me the whole way through that's the most commitment I've had out of all the girls Thank you Um, what? Oh, yeah, um, so the extended cuts are a bit longer So the originals are like three and a half, but the extendings are like four hours Would you commit to a four hour movie with me? So what we we we watch it and then we we go again Basically is yeah, well, there's three of them But you know each one's four hours Don't be shy So you're from the Gold Coast nipples. No, what sorry No, don't rip the mother's shirts. Uh, oh Michael no, I'm not I'm not doing that. He knows what he's doing. I'm not doing that. No, I agree. I agree with Michael No, I'm not doing that Um Oh, sorry, I thought you I was just I was just um hiding my uh, what so where are you from? Why are you for you? Do you live on the Gold Coast? Shut up. I'm trying to find where he lives So, yeah, I'm from the Gold Coast Matt and uh, you welcome down anytime. We're about to the Gold Coast. Do you live? I live in uh, Kira. Okay. I grew up in Palm Beach Oh Uh, do you like anyone from the podcast more than a friend? Yes Oh, sorry, I didn't get what the I've been I thought you meant follow as you walk around Sorry Um, is it okay if um, I follow you on instagram? I'll follow you right back. Okay No, I don't want to be that Whoa Um, um, if um, um, would you ever consider dating someone from the podcast? group Yes Don't destroy the set. Okay. Uh, what do I say? Um, yeah, so um, what I'll do I'll follow on instagram Um, I'll get with together the boys will sort out if you made the top five or not If you make the top five That means you get to come to the live and you get to sit on I guess you get to sit on stage with me as I Choose the winner. Yeah, and maybe if I'm the winner I can sit on your face Oh It's too too hot in here You did so well, thanks. You did so well And there you go All right matt what did you think and be honest? What did you think? He's got a very nice skin. Do you like him more than he sent me olive. Is he the hot male? Is it just his hand? All right, so just just forget he's here for a second. All right. It's just you and us Is it how? How is he in relation to the top five? I need the board Ilar Greg Jess from the uk Carly and lia. Greg can't make it to the finale by the way. Fuck off. He can't he can't he's pulled out He's got a tennis tournament on Actually golf Whatever. I still want to keep Greg in there. He deserves it. All right. Well, we're gonna have is I'm so sorry, but Carly's gonna have to go I'm so sorry. Wow That's big. That's big pully. All right. So pully's in the top five. So there is three. Oh wait. No two males Two males in the top five. So we've lost Ethan now. Yeah, I feel bad because I kind of like Ethan's coming to the family. Is he coming? Oh, yeah, he's coming. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, yeah He'll be in the crowd, but like in your ass Fuck yeah, holy shit brown. I like you. He did well man getting better at shit Well, I feel like you do pretty nervous. I didn't know what was coming through the door. Jillian got me with that one It's um, I feel like you do better with the boys. Maybe you should start investing more time in that area And I think you're better in person on the phone, you I don't know I have to admit. Yeah in person is I don't know surprisingly easier And dude, I think because you thrived with your favorite things like the Lord of the Rings And stuff like that. Yeah. Wow Mom beach connection. Yeah, that was unreal. That was crazy. We all lost our shit then man. That was fucking sick, bro Fucking sick. Anyway, that's bachelor brown for this week And there will be a conclusion to the bachelor brown segment on the live fucking show the finale Who's in my top five? I've kind of forgotten. Let's have a look So we've got a quick look Isla, Greg, Jess from the uk, Paulie now and Leah. Okay Oh All right guys moving right along to a brand new segment and this segment Is brought to you by one of our new sponsors, maybe Mother energy drink and mother energy drink are running a campaign where they want you to can fess Confess confess things that you wouldn't ever share with your real mother only the mother drink So we had people send in And anonymously send in some confessions that they would never share with their real mother And we're going to take it in turns to fucking read some now if you want to send in your confessions Either damn the marty and michael instagram or the marty and michael fully actual instagram. We're going to compile them all And then we're going to read out the most fucked up ones. All right These are stories from complete strangers true stories Things that their mothers don't know Should I start with one? Oh, wow. Have you got one? Yeah, it's my all right brown. Oh, you've got oh, you're right So there's one I need to confess something if my mom hears it It's going to be fucked because she trusts there's a lot of things on this podcast that your mother should never hear about So um when I was 14 I was first had sex. Oh my god I have number one or she was number one. Yep your mom. Um, no Anyway, uh Well, I was quite nervous about um the the parents finding out that we're having sex. We didn't know how to break it man, um And basically I would uh, I would hide the condoms I would put a knot in the condoms and I'd hide them in my wallet So the so her parents use condoms. Yeah, so her parents didn't catch them and my parents wouldn't find any I'd throw them out when I no one ever looks in wallets. Anyway one night. I um, I forgot to throw the condom out So I had a full condom on your dick in my wallet And uh, anyway, my mother I can't remember why but my mother wanted something and I opened my wallet to look for it I can't remember might have been like Medicare card. She was asking for And so I had we had like a family shared Medicare card and I had one And so I opened my wallet to get it and the condom literally Fell out and I've gone and dropped picked it up. My mother's looked at me and gone. That's not used is it? And I lied to her and said no no I just opened one and you know for the boys and we're having a laugh Oh, you would have gone so red and fumbled your words and she would have known you were lying She looked straight in my soul like she knew I was lying, but she as a great mother accepted my life And that's my can fashion man, that is she never knew that about you. All right, this next anonymous can fashion is from julian wards Come and sit with me julian my story is shit compared to your guys now No, but when I was like, I don't say this specific age Just because if I do say the real age you'll be like you suck a shit But I was a teenager could be very late in my teens But my parents went overseas to america and when they came back they had heaps of leftover like us cash So I went into my parents room and stole it all it was probably like 500 bucks us And the next day my mom found out like almost immediately And she blamed it on the cleaners who they just hired it was like this indian couple who barely spoke a lick of english And they were in the cleaning the day before and she's rang them up fired them and then just abused them And they like crying on the other end of the phone like I've been able to speak english properly He's a hanky can fashions. I felt fucking nothing and I bought myself a new bike from ashgrove cycles It was fucking sick maddie Can we tell you can we tell your mum that? Huh? Can we tell your mum that? No, don't It's anonymous. It's anonymous from jillian woods. Fuck it. Show me your phone Do not call my mum. Yeah, I'm smiling up for the next one. Shut the fuck up man. She likes all the pictures What pictures the pictures that I post on the fully actual page. That wasn't on here Anyway, look we need to move on. Look. Well, I'm not it's next can fashion can fashion number four all right This is from someone sent this in When I was younger my siblings and I hated christmas eve My mum would always make us drink the christmas juice and we hated it Wasn't until I was older hanging out with my friends. They were excited for christmas I said I hated it because having to drink santa's christmas juice. They all looked at me funny That's when I found out that all these years She's been drugging us with the night will to put our asses to sleep Smart though, so then you can put the presents out easily. Whoa, and then the kids just pass out Think about the trauma of all those nights on christmas eve where you're just waiting up all night You don't enjoy christmas because you're up all night and then the next day ruins your mum does that She's helping you put you to sleep christmas comes quicker. You get your gifts So the mum pretty much like jeffrey darman her own kids for good Something I would never tell my mother or anyone else. I share my husband with my girlfriends That's fucked up man Oh like some cuckold shit. Yeah, I guess so yeah I sent that one in sorry So anyway, look what about this one then? Hey, what about fucking this one? Oh god. Here we go I slept with my ex-boyfriend's dad for 10 years He found out and still stayed with me and I still carried on doing it. His dad was better than him Wow, see that's who found out the dad was the dad the boyfriend How do you stay with that found out Imagine put yourself put yourself in that position. You find out a go that you're dating has been fucking your dad julien Anyway, that is the mother can fashion segment send in your confessions guys Because I guarantee you this segment is just gonna get progressively more fucked. Look matt and julien are kissing and mother Will love that too. Oh, it tastes delicious. Paulie's right here. Are you doing the black book? Yeah. Yeah, we're doing it now We're running my chance of the boy all right guys Drink mother moving right along. Hmm. I might have another sip. It's delicious All right now sugar Moving on to on this day and this is where matt comes in and he Researches as hard as he can and find something that happened on this day in history Don't you matt and you take this very seriously putting in lots of hours and then you send it to me Don't you don't you that's what you do. That's you you write this. It's yours. Here we go On this day In 1578 The battle between right and left began right demanded the immediate surrender of left But left sent in a full surprise attack Lefts slaughtered the right and right had to retreat right regrouped in the middle right out numbered left three to one The next day right surrounded left. They slowly advanced and that sundown right attacked It was a total slaughter and left did have to surrender left suffered such heavy casualties that these days Left only makes up 10 to 15 percent of the population right was right all along I'm matt brown and I love sitting in a nice hot bath and shaving my legs So that's why most people these days are right-handed 90 percent. In fact, except for me. Well, you're one of the 10 percent Oh, yeah, you were back in the day when the lefts fought the rights disgusting All right next is my diary. Okay, and this is where I've just found old diary entries That I find around lying around mum's place. All right back when I was a little german boy Diary entry number Today my class went on a school excursion to la zoo I was so excited on the bus. I went to sit at the back But some of the Australian boys said that the back is only for Australians I said that's okay and sat at the front with the teacher We got to the zoo and I cried with happiness when I saw the giraffe It had such a nice long neck The other kids all teased me and said that the giraffe is my mother or something Because its neck is the same as mine I laughed but it really did hurt my feelings At lunch. I didn't have any food and one of the kids threw animal poo at my back I started crying and ran to the bus. My favorite day was ruined It was a pretty good day Your favorite day was ruined and that's a pretty good day Holy shit giraffes. I've there's a fabulous photo of you in Spain in Barcelona. I love zoos. Yeah, every fucking place we went in Europe If there was a zoo there even in Thailand and Bangkok he went to a zoo He was at this the zoo in Barcelona And there's a photo of you feeding a giraffe with the happiest face I've ever seen. He's just like Oh And the giraffe is like the leaves out of those animals looks so weird You never see that you never see that walking around prism Have you seen him battle with their necks? Yeah, that's how you fight exactly All right next we have Michael's bible and this is a where Michael has taken all of his wisdom And he's just funneled it into a little book And he's actually written his own bible and he prefers to be referred to as beezus during this It's like jesus accepts You are a fuckhead dude kind of nervous Okay, this is It's just scrambles down really chapters scrambles A picnic or a picnic with rick I said a picnic with dominic Oh a picnic. Oh, who shall I pick to have a picnic in the park? There is one person I'd like to spend the day with One person I really really like him one person guess who he is That person is Michael And that's relatable to everyone listening you can take that however you want That applies to you. So thank you dude. That's okay I've never wanted to Superman punch someone in the face so badly. What's a Superman? Where do you get these violent? Dude, what do you mean? No, I felt I felt love and inspiration. It's a song about myself. Yeah, I felt quite It's self love. All right, everyone fucking listen up It's time for matt browns black book and this is where he has written all of his sexual experiences from his whole entire Fucking life and let me tell you this cunt is the most fucked twisted cunt used to be and he has written it all down He's written it all in this book. I'm gonna read you an entry out of it. Okay. Here we go everyone fucking get ready Okay, so as you remember last week He went over to jeff dama's house And jeff has drugged him And to get jeff off of him He's had to go into his dream state and he's gonna try and have a wet dream So he can jizz his hot mints on jeff in real life to get him off But it turns out questin his brother Is in the dream controlling it. Wow, and he is attacked questin and that's where we left it. You remember So they're fighting in the dream and there's thousands of questions there and it's raining matrix Smith, I don't know what the matrix is. But yeah, sorry So it's a continuation from have number 71 My huge body lurched forward as a large amount of rage and adrenaline Saturated my swollen heart Thousands of questins watched on as I careered towards the main speaking questin I balled my hand into a fist and drove it square into questin's fucking eye socket His head snapped back and his shitty black sunglasses shattered Shards of sunglasses powerfully embedded deep into his left eye as he flew backwards and disappeared into the crowd of questins The other questin stared at me stunned Just as I was thinking that maybe this was going to be easy I saw the main questin jump up and out of the sea of questins straight for me I could see his left eye was destroyed from my attack But he was too fast He slammed his knees straight into my chest and I flew backwards and skidded along the road I tried to stand immediately, but he was already on top of me He straddled me and pinned my arms down with his then he started headbutting me over and over and over and over Bang bang bang my skull banged into the road over and over again I managed to free one of my arms and with an outstretched thumb Drive it straight into his other eye as he headbutted down at me questin pulled back and let out a shriek I rolled over saw as I was on top of him now and started scratching at him like a panicking house cat My fingernails tore strips of skin off his face and chest and questin desperately tried to blindly deflect my scratching arms with his own HELP! screamed questin and all the other questins started converging on me I stood and started spinning on the spot with my arms outstretched I spun so fast I became a blower and as the questins reached me they were smashed away by my spinning arms I spun so fast that as soon as they came into contact with me Their heads would be ripped off of their bodies and their torsos would drop to the ground I spun faster and faster until I lifted off the ground like a fucking helicopter can't I could hear the main questin beneath me groaning in pain from his injuries completely blind I flew up and up hundreds of meters as I spun I flew so high that I reached the edge of the earth's atmosphere Then I stopped spinning mid-air and started falling straight down with my right knee pointed down at the ground I gained massive amounts of speeds and morphed my body into a more aerodynamic shape I was traveling at such speeds that my knee caught fire I'd break through the clouds and look down to see all the questins still surrounding the main questin I line him up and FUCKING BANG! I land my knee directly on questin's neck The force of the impact was like a meteorite hitting earth and questin's body is savagely blown to pieces Leaving a huge crater all the other questins were blown back and most are killed instantly I quickly stand but my knee is destroyed from the impact I knew I didn't have much time before Dharma killed me in real life So I gritted my yellow bloodied teeth and crawled to the closest questin corpse I pulled its pants down and fed my little brown straight into its arse The sounds of thousands of moaning questins stiffened my cock in an instant and I started fucking LOOK AT ME NOW, QUESTINS! I'M YOUR FUCKING GOD! THOUSANDS OF YOU AND ONE OF ME! I started fucking harder and harder as I continued to boast I could see the remaining questins rolling around in pain and glancing back at me while I absolutely destroyed this corpse I got that feeling in my legs and with one final thrust I pulled the dead questin's body into me and buried my dick as deeply as I could Mints began flowing. I had done it. I had turned this nightmare into a wet dream Which means I must be coming in real life too. I sprayed my mints around wildly like an unmanned fire hose Then I felt myself start to wake up. My ejaculation was enough to wake me from the deepest of sleep POP! I wake up in back-in-reality and hear Jeff screaming What the fuck is that? My face. My body was still extremely weak, but my mints had splashed all over Jeff And it was stumbling around the room with his cock out. I could hear my mints burning into his skin I looked down at my body and see that he had stabbed a hole in my stomach and had been fucking it I must have been seconds from death. Oh, holy shit. I can't fucking see man I picked up a knife laying next to me and stabbed it into Jeff's back He fell to the ground Listen here Jeff. You're going to go to the cops and turn yourself in. You're going to tell them everything Or I will come back and kill you. Do you understand? Yeah, yeah, man. I promise. Please, please I stumbled out of the house and walked home fueled by a rage I'd never felt before I had to find question and kill him in real life once and for all Wow, so the dream question if you kill the dream question, that's killing question No, no, you just killed him in the dream now. I see I'll kill him in real life But you are the reason why Jeffrey Dahmer Is he confess? You're the reason why it was just so open with it. So you are a good guy Yeah, of course. Thank you, Matt. Dude, I feel so privileged sitting next to you right now Thank you so much, Matt. Seriously, dude Say sorry. Sorry. Thank you. Sorry. You're a couple still flicking around All right, what have we got now? We're fucking What are you looking at there? I'm looking at the board or whatever. I shit written on it Every time he looks out the door. I get nervous. Something's coming. Yeah, fuck me that takes it out I don't know that black book. Dude, you're sweating Yeah, fucking oath I am cunt. It's like a gym workout Look at his shirt Yeah, look at this. His female mother shirt glistening in the whites All right guys, it's time for questions. We'll do the comment of the week first Which Matt has butchered the entire season. We have a board where we're meant to put all the questions that win But we never do. There's like seven of them. I've got them all We'll have it done for the finale, but if you if Matt picks you for this You're in the running to win a thousand dollars at the end of the season. All right, you will know this Get on with it. What have you chosen Matt? This will be good Um comment of the week went to pat my homes Um always comments very good, dude. Um Marty and Michael are such carons when they role play as customers Oh, fuck me Matt. That is so far. Of course you picked that Matt. You guys do that had no likes on it By the way, I had four likes in that screenshot forced nothing. That's all we get Is that it? Yeah, fuck that is a fucking there you go. Mahoney, you're in the running to win a thousand dollars with that Mahomes Um, all right. Now we're going to answer some of your questions So if you want to stay into your question comment on the Marty and Michael fully actual youtube channel We answer the most like questions first So once you're commenting question have a scroll for all like the other questions that you want us to Fuck an answer Go Matt So first question from Sam Warner Um Have you guys mastered the ability to take pranks from each other in a comedic way no matter the situation? So, um, how much do you guys suppress genuine anger? So do you guys hide anger at all? Yeah, sometimes when the cameras are rolling. Yeah, julien's shit at it But julien gets very mad. Yeah, but sometimes yeah, there is there is a rage suppressing But like can you give an example? What about when I shoved anal beads up my ass the other day and then If you did that to me, I would have absolutely lost my shit. I've been doing it as long as them They've only been like pranking. No, we've been doing this since we'll fucking 15 not the anal beads thing But not like that That's disgusting. Yeah, we filmed a website video the other day where we beat each other with sex toys and michael Decided to thread the entire anal beads up his ass You got so deep to help. Yeah. Yeah. I did help. I pushed. I actually shouldn't Be done. I've been out of the edit but no, Michael was like, I'll get up to like three He got like five in like up to the ones that were like this round. I was so proud of you, brother Yeah, and then I slapped them on my you'll see it's on the website but to answer your question Yeah, but not so much anymore. It's like, you know, fuck the pain in the game But yeah, then when you realize of course, there's gonna be a camera rolling. You don't want to be like Because it's like a crazy Times when I'm like like it happens and you're like, oh, there's definitely a camera So you just like chill with it But then there's times that you do shit that is too far and I just look you in the eyes and you just always have this little look Oh Even now just jump out and just like Homer Simpson does the bar just strangle you. Yeah, you don't like me much I Next question is from milking stool It's even a big got a picture of milking stool Where is your milking stool? That's just that Um, all right, uh questions from milking stool. Can you all uh, will you guys be oh Can you also stream the live show for fans abroad? So will you leave where you will we stream the live show? We're not going to stream it like live, but we will be just filming it and editing it and posting it like a normal So much money to do a proper live stream live The only way we could ever Possibly do it is off a phone and then plus then who plus and who would pay to come because you just watch it live exactly Flala Watch it on the youtube and get keen for us to come near you Yeah, if this guy's well, I'm so scared. We're gonna be shit. I'm so scared. We're gonna be shit So it's hard to yeah, so walk out for the crowd like whoever bought tickets No, dude. Hey, that's why we made him so cheap making it when I warm you guys up It'll be so much it'll and like like you come on out with this after. Yeah. We'll have some beers after it's like, you know Just we maybe we won't do it. Maybe we'll just sit there. We might cancel it. Yeah, so maybe we'll prank everyone Don't show up. Yeah, good one. That's the lie. That's the lie Blind to fans, it's a final line and we take their money That's so sick Next question is from D coda who I think is coming to the live show. Um, have you worn the venue about the live show? Not really no We told them it's I said that it's very dark humor, but we haven't really Like imagine how much they're gonna freak out about my intro and the black book as well Like it's pretty intense what you've written In there, man, it's like Yeah, it's hard to hear sometimes. Sorry. Is it a special black book for the finale? I don't know. I don't read ahead No, no, you'll see So Look at the way he just scrolls. He's looking through only fans catalogs Flicking through his subscriptions flicking around flicking around Um Quick next question is from victor calvo calvo calvo Um, would you let the ringworms ask questions live in the season finale? Oh, we have some kind of direct interaction during the show That's a great idea That'd be a good thing to get them to lie in both sides or just one side and give them a microphone I was thinking about that or we could let them Yeah, they might if unless they could go badly that's all have some backed up just in case the ring gets scared And doesn't want to say ask a question 200 people that of course people will want to ask you something There's people who are going to dress up People have messaged me saying they're going to dress up like how you dressed up during the podcast Oh, it'd be great to see some characters in the show There's some people traveling far. I read the comments. Someone's driving 12 hours We should probably tell tell that whatever venue we're going to after that like there's a like 100 people coming I could all go is that is that okay? Oh, yeah, you can do it But like 100 people's a lot of people even if 50 calm that's still a lot But I can tee something up with some venues worst case. No, I would just go to the park Shut the fuck up. Yeah, we'll get a few goon bags and go to the park Like it's true. Yeah, we'll supply the booze a place in the gap called pedo bench massive field Three-seater bench. It is crazy. Dump is way outside the city. It doesn't matter, man. It's fine. So get on some scooters Oh Question for the podcast from menu or Manuel Depending where he's from um question for the podcast. Who is the most romantic out of all of you? I'm gonna say Marty for sure He did the Amy Shah's proposal Amazing that again, Michael's becoming more romantic as days goes on Yeah, I'm very romantic behind the doors, but I'll never let any of the boys see that because that looks like I'm trying and actually it's gay Used to be well, you you become more romantic as well I can't be with who with um with the porn stars that he watches Yeah, he puts rose petals out. He's on Eila's only friends right now Don't talk about have you ever looked at her only fans and be honest honest Why not? Oh, we should get a lie detector for the if we gave you some money If we gave you some money, would you do it? No, I'd rather sign after you smoke meth After you smoke, you're hot too We're teeing that up by the way Julian's got it teed up. So we'll have the meth at the boys For those who don't know, Matt agreed to smoke meth for a thousand dollars. I'll do it with you We can lock arms and It'll be good. So Next question is from Amy Jones Uh, do you guys plan to have henry on uh at any time? I'm sure we'd he would have some great stories about you Yeah, we're gonna invite him. We'll get him on. We've invited him to the finale just to see the crowd not to come on But um, yeah, we'll work on it. We'll work on he's he doesn't like like Yeah, we remember we discussed this once we weren't sure crowds and stuff Yeah, I don't think it'll be like I reckon next season we'll get him on he'll come on as he's agreed He said yeah, we'll just get him drunk and then we'll get him on. Yeah, yeah Oh, I think he's down to just come on and talk about old stories and shit Sorry, sorry Sorry, uh next question is from elix finnegan If michael wins a game will the host leave him alone or will the host only come back stronger? I don't know but michael has one Michael won the last one with the uh mouse traps, but then he got to squalified. Yeah, so close. So So, yeah, it has happened. He was so bad at pronouncing names too, man I'm like you are butchering every single one of these. It's just racist. Do I look like like sorry? You don't care about the fans. Wow depends where they're from Next question is from Collin Oh, wait, wait boys. Don't feel you have to stay. Sorry if we're keeping you. Yeah, sorry Paul is sleeping over Next question is from Kyle And kyle has asked Um, what did michael and julien's loved ones think of the highly scientific pineapple experiment? They love ones that know about that. Dude. Yes, they do. Oh, you're loved ones, man, man, like Chico's seeing at the time her roommate my parents curse dude Okay, so I got home and I thought it would be funny to be like Hey boys to like the group chat of rappers that I'm in so it's like curse a complete like all these like Well-known rappers. I'm like, hey boys. I fucking I drank my own juice today and they're like what? And I was like, oh no, it was funny, but like I didn't swallow it or nothing They're like, no, but you you had come in your mouth And then I by mistake had already sent the videos which they had saved like just snippets of me doing it And that was what two years ago now and it still gets brought up every single day when I go like what's up boys? They go, what up come guzzler. That's what they call me Have you told anyone I think that you love? Oh, I don't really love much. I don't Amino's and that's like fuck it's your own calm So for those who don't know do it for those who don't know if you're over 18 Come and eat it yourself. No my chick friends like at parties and kick-ons I'll be like look at this people don't care It was just like the first people I told were rappers who wouldn't usually Yeah, you know for those who don't know we're talking about a website video where we eight come Yeah, I was It's one of us need to be the scientists how to get all the data So the boys eight pint they came into a cup Then they pine apple and came into a cup again to see if the room is true that it really doesn't affect flavor But you gotta watch the video. No, you gotta watch the video. I mean you gotta watch the video does It's crazy man. They come was like it was pineapple juice Mine was post-bender cum as well. I just had a shit diet been doing all sorts And remember I was gagging on the foot. Yeah, it doesn't taste nice, but like egg whites and sea salt. That's gone a bit off Yeah, especially the first one was in the fridge and the cold going. I was so worried that you were gonna swap the jug You're lying We're just after you got so angry. We just never told you you're lying Because we knew you'd freak out bullshit Well, we've done it and then like because I'd already changed your labels and then like you said you'd kill me So we like yeah, I was like it's been so long now You're fucking kidding. You knew You're fucking lying. Oh, I'm sure man. They told me but I don't I didn't even know I'm sorry Okay, thank you Man feel my palms. Yeah, I felt the anger in the cat feel that dude Oh, man, even if that was two years ago to drink instead of your cheese Mmm, so you're lying. Yeah, I'm lying. Okay. Oh god. I might be lying about lying Next question two questions left. Um next one's from I can't say this name at all. It's gonna be yannick yannick Just just say it with confidence man yannick walton. There you go Done. Um, will there be bong breaks at the live show? We'll have breaks There'll be like an intermission, but um, I don't know how the venue would react if we all pulled out of bong We're gonna make like a few little short sketches to play Like intermissions, aren't we like little like a little special. I don't know about that. We have a lot to do I'm not committing to that a lot of time. Sorry. What do you mean? Well, yeah, I think we said we'll have one intermission. That's it So no probably not but like there'll be drinks there so you can go and have fuck cutler beers Well, I'm here's a bar. Yeah, there's a toilet there. You can do lines off the fucking seat count She will leave a couple of glass pipes lying around For matt. Yeah matt. Would you do math at the live show? No, I feel like you should man. No Okay, we'll leave it there. Thousand dollars on the table. Stop it. All right Last question Jonah hindera And his question is uh Are you boys regretting anything you did in the past you ever regretted anything you did in the past? What's an example of that? Oh, just fucking I remember one time at school when I was in year four Me and my mates on the weekend Pissed in a bottle And then all the girls at school found out about it And man that was not cool socially for like a good three months. Did you piss in a bottle? Yeah, it's like I pissed in a bottle. It's a bottle There's like, oh my god, you pissed in a bottle Fucking shut up. I drink my own cum now. I think you've done that one Okay, it's nothing compared to that. I wonder what they would say to that now Man, they gave me hell for pissing in a bottle I used to chase the girls around at school going scrunchy saying I was gonna scrunch there for jonas and shit How like last week? That's actually real. No, no, that was grade four I was around grade four and then I remember it was like social suicide for a while Me and my mate were known as the piss bottle dudes and Mine was grade four and I was chasing chicks around Yeah, but you would have been that fucking like kid called Dylan who had like learning difficulties and fucking asperges Someone said in the uh the university uh page on facebook They were like you were definitely the kid with no friends at lunchtime I was the kid at school with the dead possum in his handgun Yeah, yeah, I could see like everyone just stayed away from you. Everyone'd be like, yeah, just stay away from that kid Oh, thanks, man Yeah, everything was good until then, but it was only like a three month like sort of hiatus from Three months is like majority of the school year. Yeah, well, it was a long three months But then eventually they forgot about the piss bottle when I went back to normal, but that three months suck And I regret that Dude, you've pissed in like 10 bottles in my car with pissing more bottles than ground. Yeah Yeah, it's nice, but like as a kid. It's not cool Sorry Hi guys, that is the end of questions which leaves us now with our final Fucking segment and I pray to god that this can't answer his phone So last week we called some security company guy And it made it sound like I was breaking into a house and got into vouching and say oh if the cops come You said it was all right And I called us the cops And then he was like no, no, he sounds like a fucking junkie. I never said he could break into the house So now I'm gonna call him back again As the guy as Darren and say oh you fucking snitched on me or what the fuck me So that's the plan Let me just put my phone on fucking private this time. Oh, because he's got my number I feel like I'm just gonna tell him it's a prank call at the end because we've never done that I just want to see the very end the very end just to see Just to Huh, maybe keep your number. No because he wouldn't want to talk to me. He's fucking snitched on me Yeah, good day, mate. Um, I don't know if you remember me. Um, I called um last week about um switching off security system rock Um, and then like I use like oh you like oh, you know, I've got your lock when the cops come I'll say no, it was all good and that and then the cops came Right and you then tell them like that unlock some um, you don't know me and that so I was like what the fuck like I thought he's like the action for me in that and then like I hear the cops like talking to you and that they like full rough me up, brother Do you know what I mean? So I'm just calling like like I'm not like after enough. I just want an apology Do you know what I mean? I just want like man a man I know I don't know what you've been. I don't know who you are I've had no idea you are so I can't help you mate. Well, what do you mean? You bloody tell me one thing and then you go and tell the cops another thing And I'm just like and then I ended up bloody watch house with bloody with bloody grazes all up and down me chin Rock and I'm just calling you look from the heart That's what I'd have to do with me, mate I've had a feeling he was going Fuck From the heart Is that the same bloke? Yeah, it's the same guy. Um, all right. What was the plan B? R. A. C. Q. Darren's car is Broken down, but he can't afford To sign up, but like can you just do this? No, that's right. I'm going to I'm going to call R. A. C. Q And just say yeah, I'm a member or some shit Yeah, I can't fuck now I wouldn't go to CQ red side of speaking. How can I help you get a mate? Um, Of lock, uh, got my car parked on solid road. Um, just in north brissey And um, I've got keys inside car rot and the cars locked up on me and I'm gonna need I'm gonna need you boys come out here and um, give me a hand Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah As quick see his reckon he's gonna get out of here because like, um Let's just sketchy area and that and I'm like like I'll go to lock get back to Lock them up. Yes, isn't that? I'm just trying to find a 231 rex rex. Yeah. Yeah, rex Yeah, oh, yeah, not rex 231 is it? Yeah, yeah, mate. Yeah, yep It might not be is that not coming up on the thing or something No, yeah, well, what if like you just send one of your boys out? I've got lock 250 300 cash on me. Um, I can flick his lock 200 call 11 years do your little buddy put your little fucking little fling through the bloody window They in the pop it open and I'll flick your 200 cash And you you send your boy off and all um, like get out of here No, that's no must brother All right. Yeah. All right. Okay Um, all right Give me some details here I can transfer you through the membership team if you want to join up and we can get that all sorted And we'll still send you off already was I thought it was already joined up in that lock. Um, I've only just got this car lock No, what's your what's your vehicle registration number? So not your radio. What's your phone number contact number? Uh, zero. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah zero four two one Yep, I four Yep, two one Yep, two one I love twos and I love ones Love two love ones. All right. You had it requested in there a second You can do that You can request lock one. I mean, yeah, it's pretty stupid. Yeah Yeah, look, unfortunately, we don't have anything coming up in that radio All right. All right. What I'll do is, uh, I can arrange for patrol to come out and I'll tell you Uh, one off call out to you if you like. Yeah, right, right. Or we'll get you signed up up to you Yeah, how's quick? Can you just get out of here and that because like, um, if someone come, I mean if if like I stick around here like it's real sketchy air in that lock. I'm sure we'll tell you I'm just starting off breezy. Um, up in, uh, Strafporn Strafporn, I grew up in Strafporn. Yeah, there you go. Well, you know what I'm talking about, mate There's bloody bikes. What bikes are walking around bloody Norse and that What's the address? Yeah, fuck. What's the street around here? Um It's Gibby Road somewhere. Um, yeah, there's like, um, there's like a little set of shops in that. Um, not too far down All right. Like there's like a little subway in that So 200 cash to cover all this shouldn't it rot if I'll just cash you like I don't need to lock Write my name down. You don't need all my details in that lock and just use just open the car up and then you leave Um, and then lock you just leave me with the car, right? Uh, we'll have to get some details off here. You'll have to get your name, your phone number and all that sort of stuff in the system Or how about I'll just flick in lock enough 50 in that lock. I don't need to lock my car and all that Well That's that's sort of the whole thing. We do have to make sure we get into Well, he's my car. Look, it is my car. Look, I can show the bloke lock more awesome than that when you get here Yeah, that's that's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh sick. Yeah, all right. It's going to find out where you are. All right So what's the address there? I can see is the subway at westfield strathbarn is one of the further Yeah, a little bit further down that one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah All right down that towards uh, gippy road and uh, what's that street there? Bell's pocket road down that one there. Yeah, yeah, that's it, mate Yeah, I've just come running up that street. Yeah, so and then I've seen um, yeah Me car there on the side of the road. Yeah. Yeah, that's the one All right, okay. Here we go second. Let's get the right details here. Yeah. No, that's good. Um, all right, subway All right, he's my car. Yeah Yep, strathbarn Gippy road Right there it is here on the corner all right 441. Yeah, so the guys come and like I don't need to like prove Like um, like he's just he can open the car, right and then he'll just go he'll just go away, right? He won't like he'll have to he'll have to check your ID Make sure we get the right people and got the right details in the system But like if he won't like he won't like take like my like photo or nothing or record any of that lock down Like I'll just show him my license right and then he can just get out there and I'll leave him throwing another 50 bucks How's that saying? Yeah, I don't Yeah, I don't know if that's exactly how they'll do it, but uh, right Yeah, they do have to have um You know some of the rules as to what we can and can't do. Yeah. No, no, right. You can't just go around lock opening cars Yeah, no, no, no. Yeah. No. No, I don't like I'm not lying on that though. So like Like and everyone's got props like do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, so if you just come in like Look I can get your t50 today and like give me like two weeks Like you give me your like bank details and that look I can write down and I can send you like personally maybe like 500 bucks something if you want if you don't feel comfortable You don't feel comfortable with that. I'll just I'll just lock privacy in that. So it's like if this goes, I understand Yeah, so if this goes like taking all my details down on lock like I'll just get more backup I'll like I'll get fucking lock. I'll get a little roll up in that lock and I'll get all fucking for it. I'm not too It's like Yeah, it's more of it's a sedan. This one is a sedan. Yeah, it's a wrx. Yeah. Yep All right. What year model is it? Oh Looks like Maybe like 2007 or some 2008 somewhere around there or something, you know, yeah Oh, is it a petrol or Petrol is it automatic or a manual? Let me have a look in The walk color it's an automatic automatic and it's a walk car Yeah, quick quick day. There's a lot of people looking at me and there's like there's a couple cars around and it's Yeah, I don't I don't need to grab your name. Your name is look. Oh, um, Darren. Darren's my name Darren Thompson Thompson P-h-o-n Yeah, but that's like you don't keep that on record or nothing right Oh, it'll just be on this on this car for the car All right, all right. So just Just confirm and right once you use rock art He's just open the car. I'll give that bloke 250 or 200 what do you want? Well, well, I love he's a call out fee Right. Um, all right, and then the keys are in the car. Uh, whereabouts are they in the ignition? Um, I can't I can't see him In the car. Um, they must have locked dropped on the Floor or something, but don't worry. You tell your boy just once he's opened it He can just he can just fucking get out of there. I'll find them. I'm sure they're like under the seat or something Um, and then like and then yeah like all just I'll find them So he don't even need to worry about wearing that just get the car open for us Flicky a bit of cash Give me bank details and that and I'll flick you for All right, okay, let me just see uh, who's the Sorry in the area and if you have our way you'll be All right No cops or nothing to like he's don't need he's don't like give any of these info to the coppers or nothing to use Well, if they ask for it, we have to give it to them afraid. So just hold the line for a second mate I'll be back in a second. I'll make a quick phone. I'm on par All right, let's hold the line. No worry, ball. So are you there Darren? Yeah, mate. Yeah bloody hell. Fuck yeah, look. Yeah, sorry about that But I had to get in contact with their dispatch team to find out where the patrols are in the area Yeah, you want to talk about cops just then. Well, yeah, you're bloody talking to your dispatch team, wasn't? Yeah dispatch, but we've got we've got because it's a non-member event. Uh, we have to contact dispatch And they have to give us approval if we've got anyone in the area That was a bloody long time, mate. You weren't talking to the cops anyway, huh? No, no, no But look what they've what they've suggested is that they can't service you tonight with the uh Non-member event because you're not a member Your best option is we contact a 23 hour locksmith, right? Right, mate. Come on, mate. You've just bloody gone and told me that it's all gene You got a bloody bike around the corner. Why can't he just come flick around like no one even needs to know nothing Or lock lock you and me talking just forget about it, right? Your boy rocks up here you get to 250 cash for like 10 minutes work, right? I'll get uh, I'll get the car And then everyone's everyone smooth smooths it out, bro. You know, there's all Unfortunately, we've got a lot of jobs on at the moment and our dispatch team has said they can't handle any non-member events Mate, if you want to give me dispatches now, I'll give them a buzz because look I'm sure he takes a yes to 250 cash even after he shifts down or something shit Yeah, sorry, mate. We can't help you tonight To to grant I'll give you two grand once I flick this car next week Yeah, sorry, mate. Can't do it Come on, mate. You fucking fucks come around There's a couple of time around and so I don't know where fucking garden one ball Sorry, buddy. I can't help you tonight You have to contact a Lock All right, look, bro. Come on strong and you sort of lock You come back at me like you're pushing back and it's like No, no, no, look, I get it. Like you more respect level for you just then Like went from like like quite a lot. I'll be honest like quite a lot on the rung But now he's like come up like I've just realized you look You're up there with me. We're like two alpha boys, right? And um, no, I'll respect that And like no, if you want to grab a beer sometime like you let me know, you know, you know What number to call me on um And like we can go around cruising down the streets and that I'll give you an old rexie brother So now you're done. Oh, no First option, mate. Just have a quick google search and see if you can find 24 l I've just seen a brick I've just seen a brick on the other side of the road. I'm just gonna smash the back windscreen and just Crawl through there and for trying to find the case. It's all good, brother I'll get it flick. I'll flick it for maybe 300 or less with a smash window, but Money's money. You know what you gotta do what you gotta do, you know what I mean That's it, mate. I wouldn't go knocking knocking windows out I'm like, yeah, well, mate, you bloody, you know, no, no, no, no, no, you mate Or I might respect you bloody give yourself a little give your wife one for me, brother I might know Okay The following advice is to assist you at the breakdown location Always activate Fucking hell That guy was like super light. See is it annoying that happens in prank call sometimes? Yeah, he would have just been stalling a hundred percent of it if we were at that location where he said it right now There will be a patrol car going past there. Who knows there might be a crime committing there right now and we save We save the day or we could have taken that policeman away from an actual crime and someone could be getting murdered because of that Not in strath pine. All right guys, that is the end of episode number 37 All right, we got two more and then the finale and then that's the end of the fucking season Fuck me, brother. It's been a big year. Bloody oath, man. Holy shit balls We're gonna run down but we've got new sponsors and we're one of them's an energy drink And the athletic greens gives us energy too. That's so true, Michael. It fills the gaps now. Let's invoice them We're the best we're the best we're the best we're the best Say it julian This is your moment Say it julian