 J-E-L-L-O! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Johnny Green in his orchestra. This is Pat Weaver pinch-heading for Don Wilson. The orchestra opens the program with yours truly is truly yours. Now is the time for springtime salads, and that makes it an ideal time to serve Jell-O as a salad. Jell-O combines perfectly with fruits and vegetables. Lime Jell-O, for instance, blends wonderfully well in salads with grapefruit slices. Orange Jell-O is delicious with sections of an orange and sliced banana. Lemon Jell-O makes a grand combination with grated carrots and shredded canned pineapple. Try one of these delightful combinations as a salad real soon. It's another way to enjoy Jell-O's true fruit goodness. No other Jell-O than dessert can equal Jell-O's extra-rich fruit flavor. Every one of Jell-O's six flavors is good with an added goodness. Satisfying with an added satisfaction. So if you want the best, always order Jell-O by name. Always insist on genuine Jell-O. Now we bring to you not the hero of Bunker Hill, not the catch of Cape Cod, not the dean of Harvard University, but who do you think? Give up. Jell-O again, it's only me folks. Will you fool for a minute? No! Fine, welcome to Boston. Well anyway, here I am, one week in Baltimore, next week in Cleveland, this week Boston. Oh, I guess it's the gypsy in me. Hey Don, you've lost a lot of weight since last Sunday. Have you been on a diet? No. Now what happened? Well, I happened to be another announcer. You see, Don Wilson couldn't make it. Oh, well the streets are narrow here. He had a little trouble last year, you know? You know, that Wilson guy is pretty heavy. I know, but the streets in Boston aren't that narrow. They're not, eh? You know what happened yesterday? No. Two worms collided in the middle of Washington Street and held up traffic for three hours. Is that a fact? No, but I thought it might get a laugh, you know? So you're taking Wilson's place tonight, eh? Yes, Weaver is my name, Patrick Henry Weaver. Henry, like in Ford. Oh, I see. And yours? John Quincy Benny. Quincy, like in Throbe. Tell me, are you enjoying your stay in Boston, Mr. Benny? Yes, but don't be so formal. I mean, you can call me Jack, you know? Thanks, Jack. You can call me Mr. Weaver. Well, thank you. But I am having quite a time here. I spent a few days looking over the historical points of interest. Oh, yes, there's a lot of American history connected with Boston. Oh, yes. You know Paul Revere wrote here? That's right. Say, was that Rockingham Park or Narragansett? I don't know. I don't know. I even forgot the name of the horse. I think we did that joke last year, two of them. Well, it's not important. Say, Pat, you're a stranger in our little group, but now you won't feel offended if I give you a little advice, will you? No. You won't get mad? No. Promise now? For heaven's sakes, what is it? Well, come here a minute. Now, as Don Wilson probably told you, dignity is the keynote of this program. By that I mean, you only mention J-E-L-L-O with the six delicious F-L-A-V-O-R-S if it happens to fit. You know, don't drag it in. You mean strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime? Not so L-O-U-D. Somebody will hear you, you dope. I'm sorry. Well, just be careful, that's all. Come in. Mr. Benny? Yes. On behalf of our great commonwealth, it affords me extreme pleasure to welcome you to Boston. Well, and I hope that your sojourn on this metropolis will be most diverting. Well, thank you. And who may you be? I may be the mayor, but at present I'm a dishwasher at Charles. Bravo! Well, a fraternity brother, huh? A washer-drop-addition? No, mappa-upper-floor. Goodbye. Goodbye. Nice fellow, wasn't he? Charming. What are we talking about, Pat? Oh, about Boston in general. Oh, yes. Well, I must say that it's a great thrill for me to be playing in Boston. You do meet such cultured and intelligent people. Hello, Jack. What was that last line? Oh, Kenny, I was just telling Pat that in Boston you meet such cultured and intelligent people. You said the same thing about Cleveland. I know, but I can't write new stuff every week. Oh, Kenny, this is our announcer for tonight, Mr. Weaver. How do you do, I'm sure. Well, how do you do? Have you seen much of Boston during your stay, Mr. Baker? Oh, sure. I've been everywhere. This morning I was out to Harvard University. Gee, I'll bet it was the thrill. You can get three to one on that, yeah. What are you doing at Harvard, Kenny? Well, as long as I was in Boston, I thought I'd stop by and pick up a degree. Did you get one? No, they're closed on Sundays. Oh, never mind. You can pick one up tomorrow. Hello, Jack. Gee, I had a hard time finding this place. Hello, Mary. Welcome to Boston. Say, Jack, want to hear something? What? The cutest little Boston bull followed me all the way down the street and right up the steps of the studio. He did? Yes, and he's still here. Well, maybe he's lost, Mary. Is there any identification on his collar? Yeah, officer 215. Oh, that kind of a bull. Hello, officer. Hello, Jack. Sorry dropping on you. Isn't he cute? Yeah, say, Mary, I want you to meet our Boston announcer, Pat Weaver. He's taking Don Wilson's place this week. Well, how do you do, Miss Livingston? I'm so glad to meet you. I've always been a great admirer of yours. Oh, yeah? Well, let me tell you something, Mr. Weaver. We better understand each other right now. I'm a homegirl, and I don't live in Texas. You can keep your old diamonds and furs, who wants them. And another thing, I get more kick out of a good book than a highball, so there. But, Mary... I've got a good mind to tell Mrs. Weaver. Well, Miss Livingston, I didn't say anything. But I know what you're thinking. You men are all alike. You love us, you marry us, and then you look around for a pinnacle game. Well, you can't do that to me. Why, Mary, all he said was he's glad to meet you. Yes, but the way he said it... I suppose the next thing he'll do is invite me to dinner, and then what? What are you talking about? Well, Miss Livingston, I wasn't going to ask you to dinner. Oh, so I'm not good enough, huh? Well, you can keep your old New England boy dinner. I don't like that kind of fool anyway. What is it? And another thing, a girl isn't safe anymore. Believe me, you wouldn't talk to me like that if my big brother was around. Listen, oh, play, Johnny. Will you play? Just because I'm young and pretty, you think you can take me out. I've got to hurt my... Mary! ...some nerve. That was lost, played by Johnny Green in his orchestra with some nerve by Mary. And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our feature attraction this evening, we are going to offer... Oh, say, Jack, how did you like that last number I played? Oh, all right, Johnny, but you have been better. I thought your baton was a little off-key there for a little bit. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Well, just for that... What? Oh, never mind. Well, anyway, tonight, folks, we are going to offer an unusual drama, something entirely away from our regular... Let's say, Jack, are you going to the party tonight? What party? The one Johnny's aunt is giving. It's a big tea party. It is? Yeah, Johnny invited me. Gee, I didn't hear anything about it. Who's going? Kenny, myself, and the boys in the band. Oh. Weren't you invited? No, this is the first I've heard about it. Well, maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Oh, I don't care. It's a party, party, party. I'm sick of them. Gee, I went to one every night, 12 years ago. Well, anyway, folks, as I said before, tonight, we are going to offer an unusual drama, something entirely away from the... Well, say, Jack. Yes, Kenny. Do you mind if I quit early? I want to go to Johnny's party. Oh, Kenny, what do you see in all these parties, parties? Why don't you stay home like I do? Oh, then you haven't been invited, huh? I'd rather stay home and practice my violin. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Later, later. Oh, Jack. Yes, Johnny? What time is it? Oh. It's about 7.15. Hey, Johnny, you know, I was only kidding before. I thought your number was all right. Oh, I don't mind. I'm kidding. Say, have you seen much of Boston, Johnny, since you've been in town? Yes, why? Well, I just thought I... Well, you know, I know the town pretty well, and if there are any of the local sites you want pointed out, I'll be glad to point at them for you, you know? Well, thanks, but Boston happens to be my home. Oh, well, I didn't know that, but, Johnny, you know, there's an old saying that nobody knows less about a town than a man who was born there. Well, I don't agree to that. Hey, wait a minute. You take my hometown, Waukegan. Why, until when? Wait a minute. You take my hometown, Waukegan. Why, until I was 18 years old, I never even knew where the railroad station was. How'd you find out? The sheriff showed it to him. Oh. He did not. Well, anyway, Johnny, I hear that your aunt is giving a... Pardon me, Jack, will you? I've got to arrange some music. Oh, okay, Johnny, okay. Do you need any help? No, thanks. Well, I just thought I'd be glad to... Oh, excuse me. I'll see you later. All right. All right. No, say, Johnny, I was just thinking I'm not doing anything this evening, and would you like to join me in a little party, you know, where we can sit around and chat, you know? Oh, I'm afraid I can't make it, Jack. Oh, you mean you have other plans? Yes. Some place else to go, huh? Yes. Yeah, that's right. You mean another party, for instance? That's it. Well, hey, Johnny, I certainly envy you. I wish I had some place to go. You don't know what it means to be alone in a strange city. No, I guess I don't. Well, it's a long, Jack. Now, who wants to go out anyway? It's raining. He won't be raining inside. Yeah, I'm tired. Oh, I don't feel like going any place anyway. Guess I'll go right to bed after the broadcast, you know? Oh, Jack. Yes, Johnny! Uh... Doesn't Kenny have to sing his song now? Yes, sing, Kenny. Oh, parties, parties. A bunch of kids. A bunch of kids. Gee, but you're wonderful, you lovely you. You completely satisfy. I'm confessing that is why there's nobody like you. You, so much depends upon you. Tell me, Jew, will it be my fate at all? I have a rate at all with somebody like you. Just the things that you love me makes my future look strong. I swear by stars above me I'm darned if I don't feel like writing a song. A song about you. Music and words about you, lovely you. Let me sing out praises for, let me sing out praises for nobody but you. You're the inspiration of my fondest dreams. Here's the situation. This is how it seems. You can make me happy. You can make me blue. All I am or hope to be is really up to you. Music and words about you, lovely you. Let me think up praises for, let me sing out praises for nobody but you. Baker singing you from the great Ziegfeld and very well done, Kenny. That was well. You know, they like you here. Thanks, Jack. They, Kenny, with that voice, I'll bet you'll be the life of the party tonight. You said it. Gee, I hope there's dancing. You know, Jack, I've been taking ballroom dancing from a girl who teaches me and she says, I'm doing fine. Ballroom dancing, really? Yeah, one more or less than I can dance alone. That's so. Come on, fellas, let's go. Hurry, Kenny. You too, Mary. We've got to get going. We'll be late for the party. Oh, dear. I can't forget that. Well, so long, Jack. Gee, I'm sorry you're not coming with us. Oh, that's all right, Mary. I'll stay home and listen to the radio. There's a swell lecture on tonight, the home life of a grasshopper. I don't want to miss it, you know. Who's interested in a grasshopper? Another grasshopper. Well, so long, Jack. See you later. So long. Guys, I better have a swell time at that party. Well, it's all right if you have nothing else to do, you know. I'm going to a theater and see follow the fleet for the twelfth time. Come on, Kenny. Come on, Kenny. Everybody's waiting. We'll get in your car. My car? I haven't got a car now. You haven't? No. Did you see that new telegraph pole on Fremont Street? Yeah. Well, I didn't. Well, Mary, it looks like they'll all have to go in your car. I haven't got a car either. You haven't? You have one yesterday. You know that corner at the post office? Yes. Well, it isn't a corner. Oh, gosh, this is awful. We'll never get to the party. Hasn't anybody got a car? La, la, la, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Oh, Jack. Mm-hmm. Why don't you drive us to the party? Well, I'd like to, Johnny, but, gee, while everybody's inside having fun, I don't want to stay outside and wait. Jack, you don't have to stay outside and wait. No, you can go home. Oh, come on, Jack. Come on. Don't be stubborn. Come on along with us to the party. Well, coax me. Well, if you insist, let's go. Come on, fellas. Hey, there's a car, boys. They piled your instruments in the back. Hey, Jack. Jack, I can't get the grand piano in the car. Oh, no wonder you forgot to put the top up. Hey, Roy, slide that trombone in. Hey, Jack, how can I get my cornet in? I can't. What? How can I get my cornet in? Push the middle valve down. Well, are you all set? Everybody in? Yeah. Well, that's fine. Let's go. Close the door, boys. Release the brake, Mary. Hey, Kenny, throw out the clutch. What was that? Kenny threw out the clutch. Play clutch. I mean, Johnny. Music and dance from the picture, Follow the Fleet, played by Johnny Green and his orchestra with the piano on Johnny. Hey, Mary, I want to see what street this is. Would you mind getting off my lap? Say, Kenny, get off my lap, will you? Okay. Say, Johnny, get off my lap. Oh, watch out, Jack. Watch out! No! What's the matter, Kenny? You almost hit a car. Oh, I thought you were driving. Hey, hey, this is the place, Jack. Stop right here. Here we are. Everybody out. Hey, say, Johnny, you sure this is the right place? This is the waterfront. I know, Jack. We have to take a robot out to the party. A robot? A robot. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the party's on a yacht. On a yacht, eh? Oh, boy. Yeah, see it over there? I'm gonna call it up. I guess the party's in full swing. Hey, here's a robot. Hey, wait a minute, Johnny. We can't get all of that stinky little boat. How deep is the water? About two feet. I don't mean in the boat. Gee, I'm afraid. Oh, don't worry, Kenny. If anything happens, I'll save you. You know, I used to be a lifeguard. Ask Mary. Say, Mary, is Jack a good swimmer? No, but he can wade like the devil. Oh, we're wasting time. Let's get in the boat. Yeah, women and children first. Come on, Kenny. Hey, don't push. Gee, I'm afraid, too. Mary, if you want to be afraid in this crowd, you'll have to stand in line. Boy, this is a heavy load. Hey, who do the rowing? Well, let's take turns. Who wants to be first? Hmm, mutiny on the rowboat. Come on, Johnny, who's gonna roll first? Say, Jack, you want to hear a riddle? It's a fine time for riddles. What is it? When you're in a theater, where do you like to sit? Well, I like the first row. Give them the oars, Johnny. They should have known better. Gee, I'm afraid. Okay, Jack, shove off. Aye-aye, sir. Hey, be careful of the dock. Okay, you know it's the oldest dock in the country. Hey, Mary, where are you lamping at? It's a country dock. Boy, this is a tough pull. Hey, Johnny, what kind of a party is your aunt giving? Well, it's a patriotic affair to commemorate the Boston Tea Party. Oh, no kidding, huh? Hey, where's Mary? Here I am, Jack. I just went below Jack. Below Jack? This is a rowboat. Oh, no wonder I'm all wet. Oh, Jack, what was that Boston Tea Party about? Well, as I remember it, they were having a little blowout in Boston Harbor, and the tea was too strong, so they threw it overboard. They might have thrown the tea overboard, but they certainly ate the jello with its new extra-frit, rich, fresh fruit flavor. That a boy's fat, that was fine. You didn't drag that in. MUTH! So try jello with its much delicious flavors. Strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, and lime. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. A pass of lemon was left out. Maybe they're saving it for the tea. Bravo, bravo, Miss Livingston. That was very clever. Oh, yeah? Well, let me tell you something, Mr. Weaver. I'm a homegirl, and I don't want to see any essays. And you can keep your flowers inside. Oh, Mary, Mary, you're overdoing it. Hey, Pat, what are you doing here on the boat? Oh, I just thought I'd come along and help. Is there anything I can do? Yeah, get out and push. Oh, boy, there. Party coming up. Blow the ladder. Oh, hi, everybody. Climb on board. Oh, yeah. What is it, Kenny? I'm scared. Oh, shut up. Boy, this is some God. Come on, Mary. Climb up the ladder. Where is it? On KJ. Oh, there's my aunt now. Good evening on Clementine. Oh, there you are, you naughty boy. You're late. Mary, get a load of Johnny's aunt. What a ritzy dame. Yeah, look at those eyeglasses on silk. You may introduce me to your friends, Jonathan. Hmm, Jonathan. Auntie, this is Kennethon. Oh, how do you do, Kennethon? Hello. And who is this young lady? I'm Marathon. Oh, Auntie, this is Miss Livingston. How do you do, Miss Livingston? Are you of the East, Miss Livingston's assault-like city? No, Springfield. Springfield? That's what it says in my scribe. That's a lot of treats. And, uh, who is this distinguished-looking gentleman? Allow me, I'm Jackathon Benny. My uncle has S-bandied cats with me, Benny. Do you know him? Yes, a lot. Hmm. I say, uh, here comes Uncle Kensington. He's looking rather chipper than the auntie. Quite. Dear old Kensington is a new man since he recovered from his recent inhibitive neurosis. My how utterly devastating. Was he in a bad way? Rather. He went nuts, you know. Oh, well, damn things will happen. Oh, Uncle Kensington. I want you to meet my good friend, Mr. Benny. Hello, friend. Strike me, thinker. Why, clever, where'd you get the name? Where'd you get a name like Kensington, huh? It's Vectific. Oh. It's what I call a non-deplume. Hello, Mary. Hello, Slap. Well, I must problem along and rejoin my guest. Our reward, Slapington. Toodle-doo, second mate. Second mate? Yes, I was married twice. Oh. Hey, Jack, is this a shrinky party? They got here the sweet cream of society. Oh, the 400 are here, huh? 450. They brought their friends. Jack, it don't be a wallpaper. They got plenty of food. Caviar, chicken, turkey, and whatnot. I'll take the drumsticks. Drumsticks? This is a Boston tea party, not the spirit of 76. Come on, Jack. There's plenty to eat by Zove. Don't be bashful. Have a cookie. Ah, Slap. This is too much. All right. Break it in half. Here, have a cup of tea. Oh, boy, that's just what I need. Oh, have another cup of tea. Get into the spirit. Be careful, Jack. Hey, this isn't bad, you know. Here, have another cup. Hey, what's the idea of a spoon in it? To keep the lemon down your dopey. Hey, this tea is all right. Sure. Come on, have another cup. It's emulating. You forgot the sugar. All right, here. Thanks. Now, have another cup. It's love of guesting, I'm telling you. Wait a minute. This is the eighth cup. Ah, don't be a detotal. Come on, Jackie boy. Have another cup. It's nauseating. Oh, Kensington. Kensington. Yes, Clementini? The guests are all assembled for the annual ceremony. Come on, everybody. Gather around. It's time to throw the tea overboard. Leave it to me, Mama. Stand aside. Look out below. Wait a minute, Slap. Wait a minute. You're throwing me overboard. What's the idea? What can I do? You drank all the tea. Play, Johnny. Here's a special announcement for you who are listening to Station WJ's E, either in metropolitan New York or New England. Jell-O is introducing a new product in your territory. Its name is Jell-O Ice Cream Mix. And with it, you can make the best ice cream you've ever tasted. Jell-O Ice Cream Mix comes in five luscious flavors. Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, orange, pineapple, and tutti frutti. The three fruit flavors are actual fruits in their own sweetened juices. The vanilla and chocolate syrups are wonderfully rich and mellow. Each flavor freezes to smooth, flawless perfection in the trays of your automatic refrigerator. Just open a can of Jell-O Ice Cream Mix, add some milk, some whipped cream, pour the mixture in the tray of your automatic refrigerator, stir just once during the freezing, and you'll have your ice cream. Six generous portions of it. Rich, fluffy, amazingly smooth and creamy. Real luxury ice cream. Ask your grocer for Jell-O Ice Cream Mix tomorrow. And if he hasn't it in stock yet, be sure he orders it for you. Don't accept any substitutes. There's no better way of making truly fine ice cream than Jell-O Ice Cream Mix. Remember the name, Jell-O Ice Cream Mix. Last number of the 31st program in the new Jell-O series. And we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time broadcasting from New York City. Oh Pat, I want to thank you for helping us out tonight. Well, that's all right. I was glad to do it. So long, Jack. So long, Pat. And goodbye, Miss Livingston. It's been a pleasure knowing you. Oh yeah? Well, let me tell you something. I've said about enough from you. If you think that I'm a kind of a girl and you can just talk to the side like a cat's off you. Oh, good night, folks. Good night. She loves me not. The program has come to you from station WBC in Boston. This is the National Broadcasting Company.