 And we're live unlike the previous times I've had Heather on we are not here to talk about quality timeless literature like Shakespeare We're talking about for the killing of kings by Howard Andrew Jones For anyone who doesn't know Heather if you I don't know if you want to introduce yourself a bit Uh, my name is Heather. I am a professor at Purdue University and yeah, I have a couple degrees in English We usually discuss Shakespeare today. We're doing fantasy. Oh, this is quite a step down Was really hoping and high hopes maybe that's where my problem was I I mean I had So I already owned a copy of the first book because a long time ago Someone had recommended it to me really highly so I had got it, but I hadn't read it and then we now received the full trilogy So I have two copies of the first And um my god Like I was like going into be like, oh, this will be pretty good. Like, you know, it'll be it'll be fine Yeah, it was it was so so bad So I am these tabs signify when something is wrong bad or dumb And Like at the halfway point, I was like, I need to stop tabbing and just finish this thing And then I would come across something heinously stupid and I was like, no, I have to tab that too So I dabbed all the way through having every time I rolled my eyes at something like either a description or a plot point And then I got like, yeah, then I was going to finish this It's gonna an agenda or a book title or the title of Jamie Lannister is out of a group thing Okay, I mean honestly like the part of this book where we get the reason for it being called for the killing of kings I was like I got it at that point. I was not expecting it to be good, but I was like Well, and it doesn't make any sense for it to be titled that way when it's supposedly like a matriarchal society like I mean There's so much so they uh, I mean very quickly No spoilers for anyone that wants to not be spoiled What how would you like sum up this book like neutrally like what is it about? It's about Probably like a couple of soldiers trying to uncover a conspiracy within like their realm a realm that is also In cont, like in contest with like a bunch of other There's like an institution for magic users and there's like conspiracy among the magic users So there's like two perspectives one that's like on the outside and when it's like kind of me on the inside Yeah, yeah I think what's hard about this book is that it seems a little bit unfocused like you're trying to get What are they doing? Why are they doing it? What is the point of any of this first hundred pages is about this like missing sword and I don't know it just there's it keeps them like hinting to this bigger conspiracy But even when you find out what that conspiracy is like the stakes never feel that high Well, I mean just like that was it for non spoilers. We'll just dive in now whatever But I was gonna say so like I mean a lot of it is to do like you said there's like a Hero who everyone believes dead mystical magical sword that was that heroes sword that is like a treasured artifact But is also maybe missing and there's like all these like things about you know mysteries from the past or things that you believed That were actually untrue about the government or whatever and the thing is like I was not clear up until even the end What is the status quo? So for you to be trying to shock me with upsetting the status quo or learning the status quo has been a lie I'm like, I don't even know what the fucking sex quo is. So like I'm not shocked. I'm just like what is what It's like something if it's like an urban fantasy that takes place in the real world You just take our status quo and like apply it but here I mean he is not only is he creating a fantasy world that like Exit like the realms exist differently than how we even imagine earth going because there seems to be like rounds that are Like on top of each other like a weird kind of like physics journey We go on Also the the entire way that this society is supposedly built like only Queen's rule. There's only goddesses There's not like gods So, I mean it's like it sets you up thinking that even like the very structures and status quo are like different It's supposedly this like matriarchal society, but that's not what happens either like there's no kind of like fleshed out World also then like these ideas if you take a bunch of ideas and throws into a book Like none of it is ever fleshed out. Well, again, so like so supposedly on its surface You would expect it to be matriarchal and therefore like Bless or a different version of sexism than we'd be used to but the main characters like act like this is a patriarchy But then it is the laziest most Ridiculous characterization of the enemy where they just show up and out of nowhere Make some kind of like gay feminine feminine joke and I'm like, oh surprise like the the enemy is Immediately diving into and you have women on your side. Ah, ha ha. This means you're weak and I'm like Serious right now. Yeah, and like And like the book spends like so much time building up this enemy that it like that Supposedly going coming and invading their borders like these people that they fought in the past and like to some degree The the male emcees that we see is always trying to be like no We don't really like you don't really know who these people are like like we're at war with them But they are real people like it's trying to like do this thing where it's trying to give empathy to like the other side But then we meet the other side. We're very like primitive, right? Like it's a stereotypical like primitive view that's like so I mean well the way that the enemy is written and the way that low-key everything is written is it feels like a video game Like the way the magic works the way that like the questing works the way that the information is delivered to you The way that the enemy like is like the final boss that you have to like beat with your like magic McGuffins that you literally recharge and like that's how it works It's like you have like vitality bars for like oh you've almost run out And then some friend of yours can like recharge you and you're like Also ready to fight on like I was like this is this Consistent right because like one person like I still have no idea what the magic system is So like you get like primarily just like two or three like point of views It's it's it's told in the third person, but you get like specific point of views And one mainly to except for occasionally when we decided we needed someone else's perspective So instead of like a disciplined author who's like well, this isn't one of my perspectives So how am I gonna do it? No, I'm just gonna randomly make this a perspective We're like a hot second, and okay, we're back to our regular perspectives, right? And so Alani, I think that's how you say her name I don't know I think it's Eleanor Eleanor As good as any It's it's felt like Elena, but with an I at the end so like I was like Eleanor I Do that L and I is like the main female point of view and like She is describing the magic system She's describing the magic system to us and she says like oh I do like two minutes of magic and I and I'm already spent But then like proceeds to do like hours of magic and like no like hardly any repercussions like and even oh and then like So like when both she both at both the perspective so Elena or Elena and Rylan are basically our two perspectives for the most part and both of them are magic users Both of them are like the same in the same like magic user like Institution and they both use like the inner sight Which is when they like switch to like magic view and it's literally like witcher sense in the witcher games when you like You know you hit the button and now you have witcher sense and now you like see The like underlying magical more knowledge of the area thing. It's like like a freaking video game. Yeah Yeah, and it's like that doesn't make sense either because okay, so Eleanor and Rylan are part of this Magic institution, but they're also soldiers, but then you also have mages who are Sort of soldiers to major auxiliary, but they're primarily magic. They wear a different color Not quite clear what like their difference and skill level are like it's not like I Don't like Mark Lawrence very much. So but also I know how Either Like I know that authors reviewing other authors work in the same genre like unless they're known for being like Roxane gay Who will like tell it like it is like they mostly like, you know, toe the line They're like support my fellow colleague five stars to your new book five stars to my new book So I don't take that Men like I've only run mark Lawrence book and I knew he was not for me And then when I found out that he was like sort of a horrible human being to like women I was like, oh make sense not gonna read him anymore And then like so that's what bothered me most about this person Is that like the way I mean mark Lawrence like I he's not my favorite, but like he is a much better writer But the things that bothers me like the thing that bothered me about his book in the way that he wrote his characters Which one did you read? I've read a couple Prince of Thorns or I've read that as well I read sisters the one that everyone loves and that one is like from that's basically kind of matriarchical It's like assassin nuns and all the all the characters are like primarily female But it feels like how a dude would imagine writing badass ladies, right rather than actually like badass ladies Like which is exactly how this one feels like it very is much like the strong female character archetype that like I mean it feels like what there what happens a lot when men write women is that like they They seem to like I want to show that like women are different but also powerful But like that difference is all that like comes across And it reminds me of like George RR Martin when he was asked like how do you write women so well and he's like I write them as people and it doesn't feel like some authors like warrants in this person Let's just say like what I asked her Abercrombie, you know like how he gets in the headspace of you know Well, no, I asked him how he gets in the space of bad characters But then I was like how what I wasn't even saying how do you write women? Well, because I just like take it as a like we understand you're a good writer therefore you write women well But more specifically like things that I would forgive you not being good at you know Like periods and pregnancy and like you've never experienced that you don't even have the equipment to experience that So like to write from the perspective of some woman who's experiencing like extremely specifically feminine bodily issues Like I was like, what did you do to write that or to research that or to like get in you know that And he was like, I don't know you just kind of like put yourself in their shoes And I don't you just kind of think like I don't think it's rocket science Just kind of like figure out what they would be feeling. I'm like what you would be surprised Yeah Where it's like a lot of times it's missing some I mean, oh wait, uh clouse heather also likes abacrombie. So there this is not There's gonna be abacrombie mentioned Yeah, uh, he's like now become like the bar that I measure a lot of like fantasy against because you know We've talked a lot about how abacrombie can get you to like these really morally gray or even like downright awful characters, right? uh and like That's the problem with this one's I think that's what he's trying to do Like he's trying with especially with rylan like I think part of making rylan so sexist and always commenting on like women's bodies Like I think it's supposed to be this like mark of character growth that by the end he doesn't screw the girl that like well actually So like I was gonna bring up abacrombie anyway because like I was reading it I was thinking to myself that Rylan is gizelle, but as written by gizelle. So he doesn't know that it's bad I was actually thinking that exact same thought this morning in the shower I was like, I hated gizelle at first remember and you know, but but like tort like you still kind of root for this Like collective and like even though You're you hate gizelle at first like you know that abacrombie is not speaking through him that there's like He understands that like gizelle's a horrible character, but like rylan I mean it seems like more of a self-insert than that like it seems like Well, like once in a while and we have I mean The female character who is like sort of his superior is not written well and we'll get into that But like here and there she'll chime in with like you need to stop thinking about sex and you need to stop thinking about whatever But it like that is it that's the only thing that's inserted to like undercut how often he thinks of women In like clearly objectifying ways and again gizelle does that all the time And it's very very clear that you're meant to think that gizelle's a piece of shit for objectifying women in this way Whereas rylan is like a hero who goes like on a hero's journey of like he's earned the right to ride a dragon Basically because he's the specialist special and like this like super brilliant lady Who's his superior chose him out of everyone to like be her number two? She's like his one character for always like a little bit too into the ladies But like he's not a little too into the ladies like he's a piece of shit Like I cannot tell you how many times I tabbed a page and like underlined something that rylan either thought or said And then just wrote in the margin. Fuck you It's not that he's always thinking about sex. That's the problem. It's the fact that he doesn't like people Like that's the problem with that like gizelle like starts to treat women as human beings like that's his journey Whereas so it's like not just about like the sex part and that's where this book misses the mark It's not that it's not bad that rylan wants to have sex with people. It's bad that he like treats women Like as like as just bodies to like be even the way that he describes the Genius which we'll talk about why she's not genius But the genius superior is described to us in terms of like she's not that attractive and that like she's a bit older And like she's like nothing compared to these other ladies that are more attractive and i'm like sir Stop it And like and that well the one part that really bothered me because again like you can kind of say okay Well rylan's a piece like he's like Sexist and that's why he's doing that and maybe he'll grow out of it But there was that one moment where like The vera verama is I don't know if that's her name for like she There's like this one part where he watches her like fix her appearance in the mirror And he was like I can't believe that she cares about her appearance And it's like that's the framing that really bothers me It's like because that's supposed to be like oh, he's growing He didn't I don't know like everything that's supposed to show his growth just like shows how it misses the mark But andrea any live on my channel is inevitably a first law chat It's kind of like if you've read good omen's how every cassette and every cd in the car turns into queen Every live on my channel turns into first law Yeah, and now that I've read it too Yeah It always comes back because like it becomes a standard by which you measure everything else You're like, you know how I know this can be done. Well, it's not just like wish like a wish that I could see someone do this Well, no, no, I've seen it done. Well, I know it can be done. Yes And this was not it Here for you who just joined this is what we're talking about It's yeah 0 out of 10 do not recommend I mean, honestly, like I don't know what I'm gonna do with this because like I tabbed every page almost and um And I wrote in the margins of a lot of the pages in pencil So I could erase it if I wanted to like sell it or something But like I have basically annotated This entire book and most of my annotations are just like what? No. Fuck you. Are you serious? No. Wow It almost seems like the writing itself too is just part of the problem. Like it's there's too many adverbs There's too many like also like literally incorrect uses of words and incorrect structures of sentences Yeah, and it seems like in his it seems like what he's trying to do with some of his sentence structure Is sound like he's writing a Tolkien novel like he's trying to like should you still have to get the grammar right? Right It seems like he's trying to capture a tone I'm here. Oh, that's what Tolkien did basically. I mean, he didn't annotate it But like they gave him or offered him No, I think they gave it to him June by Frank Herbert Uh, because you know even back then they did the thing of like here's a copy for a review Basically, because you're a big deal and Tolkien like to this day. We don't know why we just know that he was like disgusted with Dune and was like, do you want it back? I don't want this And I'm not gonna say anything about it In Tolkien style, I'm like, do you want this? Yeah, yeah I don't know. It's just like so like like the one thing that I can't get over which is how I knew I was going to hate it Was like when we meet the female emcee Elani. Is that how we decided to say her name? Elani Just like Elena I Come on and A is when we meet her when we eat calorie She like gets up and she she spends like like her character introduction is her like getting dressed and like describing her appearance And then she looks near and she says that her eyes looked guileless That's like herself Look at her phone reflection and be like I look Guileless and like I think that was just like she looks young and she's feeling like insecure about that This woman is supposed to be in her like mid to late 20s. She's supposed to be like About to become like one of these important soldier type people like she's like has been in training for years Like he writes her like a stupid teenage girl like it's so condescending the way that he writes her And it like really irritates me like the whole time But like I'm like it would be different if she was like a teenager and this was YA like I almost feel like you could We'll never know I would love to I mean I think he was thought he's being I mean the most PC thing I think would have been to say nothing So it was pretty rude to be like do you want it back? But like he didn't actually say like he didn't like compose a blog About like, you know, why was the weather worse? I would love to know Like if I had I mean, I'm sure he told Personal acquaintance of his like I would have loved to have talked to the fellow. Tell me why Oh, apparently uh that he'd written the oxford standard dictionary top control Um, okay, but back to this nightmare Um, yeah, I mean well and there's just like The word choice is often baffling and like it does feel like, you know Like wanting to use an sat word where you you probably should know what it means if you're gonna use it Because that's not what that means actually there's like so many times still like again these tabs are, you know For a lot of probably the majority, but it would be like, you know 60 or 70 versus like 40 30 Um is stuff that I thought was bad and dumb, you know, like rylan being a piece of shit But there was like a I've seen a lot of times where like I underline something where I was like That's not what those words mean in that combination or like that's not what that word means or like you can't use it that way or why There's like a few instances of like you can't say anachronism because this is a fantasy world Or like it feels like an oddly modern Turner phrase that they wouldn't have Straight up alludes to shakespeare and I was like you can't do that You can't Well speaking of like the he wanted so badly for this like Quoting of plays to be a thing and I was like it is not a thing And like in order for you to have like in universe, you know These words that like like equal similarly to our universe where people just quote shakespeare because like He just had a way with words and those have stood the test of time and people know these quotes Even if they don't know the plays because they're just like marvelous ways of like Saying a thing Sir you fail even at the just basic prose for telling your story So to have the hubris to think that you could write some like lofty sounding in universe things That would have stood the test of time because they are pure poetry Like you didn't and like half the time when you did it those were some of the things I underlined and was like That's not what those words mean together. Like this doesn't actually mean what you think it means Yeah Yeah, I mean, but there there was like a couple of moments where you could tell that he was trying to write Like not a story but a quote Like he wanted people to like take that out of the story and be like, whoa Or was literally having his characters quote a thing that he himself wrote but in universe like is an existing And I mean like for that to be like it was clear that he only introduced the thing of Ellen and I having come from a slightly theatrical background Just so that our pov would recognize when kerkenal was doing that was like quoting a play because it is in no way Like relevant to her character. I mean it should be but it's never actually like you it's not a part of who she is It's like really important to know about her. It doesn't come up in any other kind of way It doesn't give her valuable insight into like maybe how to play a situation because like There could have been like a really clever use of like they're tricking the enemy because they're pulling the scene from a play And that's how that was handled in the play and like, you know, like code You know sort of like, you know, if you if you recognize when I'm saying you recognize that scene from the play Which means you know what I'm about to do because you know that kind of thing, but they don't do that either It's literally just so that when kerkenal says things that the author thinks Sound like poetry she'll be like, oh, he's quoting the third act of that famous play And I'm like, why is that play famous because that was garbage Well, it's like and it's supposed to be like, oh look, he's charming Like that's like and I just feel like that's what I also hated about all of the character representations, especially Kerkenal is basically so the difference between how you're on gray joy is in the actual song of ice and fire books versus how you're on gray joy was In the final seasons of game of thrones, which they are not the same character So kerkenal is like tv show version of you're on gray joy It's like definitely like they're trying to do this like swagger over real Substance like there's like all of these dudes are like cool dudes. They say like One like often well, they keep like working like his madness and how he's just this wild card I'm like, you can't just have him like say weird things or like out of place things and be like, that's just how he be You know, he's such a wild dude. I'm like, no, absolutely and like and it feels like all like She does is this like react to his character like it feels like and this is also why it's a key It's like the writer was like, oh, I have this like female mc Who ends up becoming important to the plot But then what she does for most of the book even though she does some impressive things in like the world Well, they'd be impressive if I understood what the She was supposed to be doing It seems like mostly she's just there to react to the male characters who are like that her heroes essentially So what happens is is that like kerkenal like basically He's like a hero like he's supposed to be like 10 to 15 years So I couldn't even figure out like the age gap between them But he's like older of this like previous age before she joined Where like they defeated the big bad like 10 years ago and that's why she decided to become like a soldier because of like these guys and so Like when he comes back to uncover the conspiracy and kind of she gets swept along because of her Of things that she's done And like she gets like swept into this conspiracy But like she doesn't really have any Like choice in it. She has like no like feelings about it She just seems to be kind of swept along to be like, oh here are my heroes And then like she's just described as having a crush on them like these heroes that she hangs around She's constantly feeling jealousy when like they talk to other women She's constantly talking about how handsome they are and how attractive she is to them But like it's it feels like so like a one-sided like little girl crush. It's just offensive Rather than it also isn't enough of a hang up for her to where it's like an important part of her character either Because like like I kind of forgot she seemed to have a crush until like it came back again to like it being really clear That kirk and all was like into this other chick and she was like, oh kind of kind of jelly I was like, oh, that's right. You I guess you had a crush on him Like it's not like significant to her internal journey either of like constantly like if that had been a thing with her Because like that'd be realistic that you know that you have this crush on somebody because he's literally like Kind of a legend in his own time So you'd be kind of like it's like that star power of just being kind of like nervous around him And that like having to like reconcile is like is it do I really like him? Or is it just that like he's like kind of a legend and then like, you know, it was just like Not really a thing. It was just there to be awkward and weird and kind of sex us But I was so confused now that these guys are really great Like we're supposed to like, you know see through her eyes that these guys are just really great Even though like we don't really know anybody because it's like all we hear like from her are like her thoughts But we don't get any feelings from her. We don't get feelings from anybody Although it was better about that than Norwegian Woodward. That was literally no no feelings whatsoever. I was like, sir, are you a person? Um, but I was also genuinely confused and for a sec I thought maybe like it was that it was the same person and that one was her first name one was her last name But it's two different people that Kirk and all seems to have been romantically attached to Ryala and also, um Kalandra Kalandra and because I was like because like uh bad dude with the what's this dek dek ring? Yeah, yeah, he was jealous because Kirk and all had like Had a fling with Riala But then in the present day who Kirk and all is really upset about not having with him right now and having seemed to have lost is is uh Kalandra right, so I was like Are they both his ladies? What and it's like again, it's like he's supposed to be like Ryland is just basically like a younger version of Kirk and all Like we're basically when he was Younger he just like slept with everybody because he was so charming But like you never explain why kirk and all's eyes are weird. They do They do but it doesn't make any sense because it's the same reason why like it says at some point that if you have a magic ability sometimes you have a physical representation of that so like Or whatever her name is has like blue skin There's only but it's only him and her right one. It has blue But like the biggest legend of their time who they thought was dead, but isn't actually dead Uh, no no Uh, he doesn't seem to have any kind right doesn't make it So that's like this is what happens in this world Is that like so some people who have magic have like a physical mark that they have magic But then like only two people do and then like they're they don't even they're not even the best magic users The best magic users and what I don't understand and this is what bothered me too So if all of these people like Kirk and all or whatever are all magic users. Why is it that he makes Elani Be the one that use it. Okay. Yeah, I was about to say. Yeah, okay So the other part about this book is that they they've discovered these like stones that not only are they magic users But they're higher ranked more experienced older legendary magic users and she's like still, you know, like the intern And like they're making the intern do all of the magicking Like literally even when like man from legend who they thought was dead is woken up again He doesn't do anything magical except wield this damn sword And I'm like I thought like if she was helping you or if she was particularly good at one Kind of magic and you're like that seems to be your speciality So do that. But the others are just like here with our swords ready when you are to do the magic thing. We'll wait So they're like they I guess like they sort of say that she's a weaver, which is apparently a specific type of magic user But again, like none of this is explained in a way that like you understand consistent rules in this universe because she'll say oh, I feel other weavers in like my magic vision But in her witcher sense in her witcher sense She says now I feel other weavers, but they never tell you what weavers are or if like if there's you know Like different levels of different kind of users So again, like kirk and all it seems to me that maybe it was because like when they found the hearthstone Which like we can talk about how hearthstones make no kind of sense But that would she found the hearthstone and and kirk and all couldn't like make a hazard tales of it But she could and so then she could and he was like they're super dangerous You shouldn't use them but also for this entire quest We're going to keep asking you to use the hearthstone Even though I told you you shouldn't use it because it's super dangerous And everybody else who uses the hearthstones like fall in love with the power kind of and I wrote at one point It was kind of like the magic ring From lord of the rings like if you wear it too much it like makes you go Insane and like become obsessed with it Which is what happens to everybody else but her for you Well, also dekron who I also did not expect to die as quickly as he did because he seemed to be set up as like Quite a huge antagonist for them. And then he just died and I was like, okay Well, that's fine We'll hear about the guy that starts with an m from like the other lands like the big Mazikant and I was gonna say about the naming quickly. So like there's a city called elantris spelled with an a There's a book with the title elantris with an e by brandon sanderson. It's about a city called elantris So I was like, are you allowed to call change it to an a and it's like phonetically the exact same and call your city elantris and then like Mazikant sounded so similar to like malazan, which is like, you know, the malazan book of the fallen by steven erickson There's a few names where I was like, these are your contemporaries. I don't think you're allowed to use these Yeah So like so we hear about mac mac whatever whatever his name is we hear about him and he is the warrior king of this distant land that is fighting And it's a prophecy in the lore with erion the sword erion is gonna kill him someday. So like Again, this is a trilogy. So you think oh, we're gonna You know, they're talking about how like he's been preparing for battle for years And how like he's gonna it's gonna be so hard and if they see The army walking and it's such a big army But then like they do the thing that some people like I hate when books do Which is basically they make it like this really easy way of defeating it Like the way that they ended defeating this giant army is that alani Like scares their cattle and like the cattle tramples the army. I mean, they basically move farce of him Your army like an entire army And you're like, oh, so we've been like waiting this whole time for a battle and they just like well I mean, there is like a big fairly large amount of the force still left which then attacks them But I mean, can we also just talk about the nonsense battle strategies in this book because like the idea that is This army, which is still an army like they decimated a good chunk of it with the mufasa strategy But like there is like a good huge like a large substantial force still that that we need to be defeated. And so This handful of magic users There's like, I think five of them because kirk and all does a little like speech that's like meant to be Shakespearean of like the five who stood against them and I was like, no, no but um anyway So they have taken like a high position Um, and they're so that that's more defensible so that they can like attack this like larger force this larger army And then that army is now willfully like knows that that's happening and is attacking these five people that are on this hill and like If you're defending a village if you're defending a fortress if you're defending people Then this is you need to stand your ground and you're going to do it any way that you can But they're not like there is no village here There is nothing to be defending and there are five of you and there's a large force So the only thing that really makes sense for you to do is guerrilla warfare Where you would infiltrate their lines and get them and pick them off one by one But instead they're acting like they're defending a fortress which like I don't know why they're defending this hill This is literally the hill they've chosen to die on and I don't know why because a part two Why would the army attack this hill because there's no Actual strategical reason for them to want to gain the ground over the hill like they don't need to get over there They could just be like, uh, it's cool that you're up on that hill But we're just gonna keep on marching as we were marching. I don't know why you're on a hill Bye The enemy force is described as like super dumb like they're like a brute force and dumb But then like they're supposed to be super scary. You can't have something be Super scary, but also like Dom and bad at right. I was low key just picturing the sort of like the hordes in warcraft Right or like because it's a video game Right or just like that sea of orcs where they're just like nonsense monsters, but like But they're not they're humans and so then they so then like there's still troops left But then like the warrior king m Decides that he's going to like fight nalar as like this I mean, yeah They wanted to like so then like they're like Oh, well m wants to have like a duel to prove that he's like a better warriors But I literally wrote in one of I I'll never find it in all of these tabs And when you have this many tabs it ceases to be useful Like the part where like, okay So like they've for whatever reason this worked defending the hill and they attacked the hill and they appeared them down to like nothing And they basically won Um, but they've got, you know, mazacan who's like prophesied that the only way he can be killed Is by nalore with a sword area and who is standing before you right now And he's like, you know what everybody else fight everybody else, but me and him mano a mano I'm like sir. This is the one thing that you have heard a prophecy about because that's how they're gonna kill you What can you possibly gain by suggesting this? Like if it was the other way around where like, uh, they had backed them into a corner And and our hero nalore was what it was like We're gonna spare all your men if you agree to fight with me mano a mano And he's like i've your prophecy to kill me, but if it means saving my people then i'll agree to but it's his idea He's like, you know Even worse is it's not even like presented as saving his people It's about saving face like he's trying to prove to his people that he's like stronger So he's gonna overcome the prophecy and that's why he fights and that's why nobody else is gonna help him While they have this duel because he's gonna prove To his warriors that he's a warrior because then because then all of a sudden we hear about what has very like a till of the hunn vibes with his like And we also hear from this instance that like all is not well with like malik nazikam's army like They don't necessarily want hand that they are like warring tribes within themselves. It's like, why are we hearing this now? but the worst well, they did mention briefly that the reason like earlier in the book about that like Excuse me about how It would have been uh when they talked about why there was a truce seven years ago And how like I was a bad idea because like they were close to defeating them and they could have just picked them off But like this was the one guy that could unify the disparate tribes because like He it's a little bit like bathod in in verse law or like they're all like disparate tribes But this one strong man was able to unify them But it's not an easy thing to to unify them. So if you don't have this one strong You know personality to be the unifying linchpin If you take them out, then then they'll kind of go their separate ways because they can't agree on anything Um, the only thing they seem to agree on is that he should lead them And so like it makes sense in that kind of situation that like you could literally defeat them all if you take out the one guy Because he's kind of unifying them But also like he's it's told to us that he's a smart leader and that's why he was able to unify everybody And it seems like he's really stupid Yeah, but then what's the worst part is that then we finally get to this duel, right? We've been hearing about this duel the entire God, there's also the way in which that prophet I thought it would be like an ancient prophecy But in fact, it was literally just the day they made the sword. They just had a moment of like We're gonna say a prophecy after we made the sword like it was like 10 years ago Because like some magic users randomly get the gift of prophecy like eleni But like she apparently has like the gift of prophecy too like sometimes into the future sometimes But like and this is like new to her anyways But when they do the duel what I think is so hilarious is that like we're seeing it from ease perspective And then like she's looking somewhere else when the lar has the killing blow against this guy that they've been talking about So we as the reader don't even see this duel that they have been talking about for 350 pages All we hear is like, oh, she was busy doing something else And I just and I missed the killing blow and all of a sudden magic anus on the floor You're like, excuse me like you spent and again if this was like a better book That could feel like an intentional You know commentary on how like you're not necessarily going to see the moment when something like that happens and like again If Abercrombie written it it would have been like very intentional Commentary and like that was so many things like um I wanted to think that rylan is a commentary But he's just not written well enough like it's more just that it's so absurd that he's like this That the only way that this could be in some way justified on the part of the author is if it was uh like A poor attempt at a commentary, but I don't think it was Yeah I think it was just a like a really lazy way to show character grow was that like oh at the beginning of the book He's willing to do stupid things for sex But in the end he doesn't he turns down the lady that doesn't that wants to have sex with him Like that's like literally what it seems to be that like he's growing and it's like no Also like the conversation I guess we're back to rylan that varama is like so this like Sexy magic user who's been described to us many times with how sexy she is Um, we're actually she's very sus. We think she's up to something So I want you to like talk to her um and like find out what she's up to And he literally thinks to himself, but she's so hot. I'd rather not think that she's up to something I hope she's wrong, but I guess I'll have to trust to my own judgment. I'm like you fucking moron What she just told you to not think with your dick and you're like, but I like thinking with my dick So That's what I'm going with It's like varama like the reason why she thinks that this other sorceress is suspect is because she used magic to make herself more beautiful She also made like a robot horse We can't trust women Who want to be beautiful? I don't know like there's just not there's just it's again like trying to I mean there was so many mentions of how beautiful she is I was glad that at least that that wasn't just that that like it was meant to be like Oh, she's like suspiciously beautiful that like that's why we're getting so many mentions of how beautiful she is because you're meant to be like Something's up. She's more beautiful than she should be so like I think it's still dumb But at least it wasn't literally him just salivating over somebody that is pretty. It's meant to be like That's a clue But I think that like I could go through the list of female characters and tell you whether or not they are Pretty or not because like that's how they're primarily described like it's just like what you like The the former like big mucky muck leader that dies on the battlefield and her niece who's like kind of into rylan Um and like she shows up and he immediately, you know It finds her attractive at some meeting where she like comes in and like oh my god He literally when she comes to see him he does not recognize her because she had a bath And he's like she's really attractive this lady I don't know who she is who's standing outside my door and she's like who are you and she's like you don't recognize me I'm so and so and he's like wow. Yeah, she did clean up nice, huh? I thought that she might and i'm like you literally don't recognize her when you spent like a battle with her Are you anyway, but then she comes in later And she's wearing an armored skirt Does she also have an armored bra, please tell me she does Okay, when I read that line, I literally started complaining to my husband as I was reading it He was on the couch with this goddamn book I was like man, and then when I got to the part with the armored skirt I turned to him and I was like he wrote an armored skirt like I got so mad at it I almost threw it across the room. What what is the point of an armored? Oh my god So dumb but also she wasn't like later She would be putting on you know like boots right now. She was wearing nicely strapped sandals So it showed off her calves under the armored skirt and that's what he was admiring and I was like I think that's one of the times when I underlined it and I was like fuck you Like it's like a zena warrior moment and it's like no you can't do that in this world right now Like that's the thing is he would just like throw an idea in as it came to him And like but it didn't make any sense for like there But there was no pattern to figure out what the rules were in this book and that said, yeah I have no idea what the like mode of dress is in this world other than that Alton's wear blue and have blue rings and they have like Coat things that are it's also magic armor I guess it was very kind of grisha And then like leggings like they described as leggings which also takes me out of like a fantasy world because I just imagine like leggings from target They're basically wearing a buddy of the elf outfit. Yeah I know what it looks like on the cover too. It's just blue. It's like a blue And I mean the way that the rings worked also felt like an apple watch Like it was like your magic system is literally like gadgets and gizmos that you're like There's a part where she's basically trying to find she's like searching with her magic site to the hearthstone And it's not the one she's been using this is a different one And she's trying to figure out how to operate it and she's looking basically for the charging point Yeah, and she's like she can't find where the like charging portal is on it Basically how to like put the magic into it and I'm like you can't find like usb connector for it is basically like The vibe At one point where she was like oh, there's this knob Magic knob on you turn it on and off and I was like She's and they keep talking about how like, you know You power on the hearthstones to use them But then to do so you're not detected you power it down like so your cell phones gps doesn't get tracked You turn it off like is that basically what you're telling me? And they basically have like a FaceTime call with With people via the hearthstones. That's what dekron does to talk to the queen. He basically FaceTimes her using a hearthstone Yeah And again If this felt like a conscious choice on the part of the author to basically like again be sort of like a Fun way to be like, you know, we have we are surrounded by technology that is kind of borderline What magic used to accomplish in books before we achieved that so if you purposely wrote a fantasy Where you wanted that to be kind of the takeaway that like They are functionally the same as our gadgets But it's magic as like some kind of a commentary on technology like but this doesn't feel like that It just feels like a stupid video game magic system where it basically works like gadgets and tech Well, and it just seems like one of those books where magic is just used as like a plot device There's no like inner working is like there's the way This world works doesn't make any sense how magic interacts with other people like we don't even really get to understand like what Like how people exist in this world Yeah, I mean outside of the Altenar I core who are the magic users and then like the hordes of like faceless armies I have no idea what they are defending the villages of people or the cities or like I guess there's theater We know that because kirk and all quotes it Um But like there's no sense of the world beyond like this particular conflict and conspiracy Right, and there's no sense of like a map like I don't understand because so The queen rules over this one city, but then there's also governors that like rule over Hurt like because they were like, oh, we'll tell because they all can they kind of talked about how basically the different gods Created their own little patches of the world the way that they wanted Right, that's why they're different and then they use the hard stones I don't know like Like I don't know what the queen is in charge of because it seems like all of these cities that they travel to Are within like the same realm and like the queen is like sort of in charge of them But then they talk about governors They're like we're gonna tell the governors about what the queen's doing the governors are gonna It also seems like the queen is like elected right question mark question mark Governors because like that's part of like decker and thinking to himself about how like He's like not on this he's not on the side of the baddies or the goodies He's like kind of on this side of the baddies until such time as he could overthrow the baddies and take charge himself And then he gets killed in the book because like that would even be an interesting thing to have Throughout you know that you have somebody who's not on your side He's not one of the good guys, but he's not really on the side of the baddies He has no invested interest in them succeeding He's just like on their side until he can be like see they're dumb and bad overthrow them I take power which is what his plan was and like that now he just gets killed So I was like, all right. I don't know what point that was And like and then like he but but this was established as like a matriarchal society that there's all So he hasn't been one line where he's like, well, there's only been queens, but like maybe I can be Yeah, he's saying the queen doesn't suspect him because it wouldn't have occurred to her that a man would imagine He could rise to power and it's like but so if that really is the world Like I would really have loved to see a matriarchal world But then if it was a matriarchal world, wouldn't the men behave differently than? But they don't You're like, so like why would he think that if only queens? I don't know That's part of the thing that bothered me. It was like again trying to be like Since we're talking about the sort of like political situation like let's talk about how stupid In the beginning of the book when rylan is first chosen by varama to be like He's not going to go on the quest to find kirk and all he's going to stay back because she picked him to be like Her number two and um, she's told him that like they need to infiltrate the auxiliary the mage core Because and you need to go in there and use the fact that you used to date one of them to like infiltrate their Stuff because like they refuse to talk to The altens the altennar eye core So like you go over there and you see what you can find out and like how Bullshit that plan was and how poorly thought out it was and how on the one hand Like this it would be a super difficult secret mission to like because if they really are Keeping this hush hush and refuse to share any of their secrets you'd have to be super clever to infiltrate that So like that's a bad plan But also it's shockingly easy because like this super secret stuff They just like tell him immediately what's going on like they're not at all suspicious that he showed up asking questions So like oh Let me tell you how all of this works like Surprisingly this plan worked way too well for like something that are you sure this was the secret secrets? Like I think maybe you're a little bit too paranoid and it's not secret secrets because they seem fine with sharing And that seems like everybody they meet on the road like knows about the hurt stones Like these are supposed to be like super secret things that nobody knows about like the people like the squires who have been training in this like You know the special army Didn't know about it, but then like everybody else does And then like part two of their plan where they take polyjuice potion And infill re-infiltrate them just so they can steal some stuff and then immediately Gather everybody who's on their side in the city and yeet on out of there in like a massive Army and I'm like how did you just organize everybody leaving? After your stupid polyjuice plan like this happened even like it's two days And this is what this is what the book does is Ryland's like oh Well, we just know that someone so is brilliant and that's how she figured it out Like that's we're just like told that people are brilliant and good at things and that's why things continually to work out for people So there's no like stakes. There's no suspense because it's just like things just work like the first time um Ilani like gets the uh Eleni gets the uh hurt stone She's like, I don't know how to use this. I've never heard of this before and he's like We'll just try and then like she just does it like she just can do now She's in charge of all magic on their quest And like and then she just always does exactly what she needs to do even though she's never trained this way before The only thing people seem in this book to come up short on is healing They can do anything, but then can you heal them? No, you take hundreds of years to learn healing arts. I can't you know, like, okay That's yeah And that's just like but then no one's trained in it. Like what are you trained? It's like you're this magic Like army then what are you actually trying to do if you can't like do I I don't know And then like also so like Varama being brilliant Yeah, like it's said over and over and she doesn't do or say anything really and she does very stupid Foolhardy reckless things and I'm like I went where but there was literally a part Towards the end right when again, I can't find it even with my tabs, but I did mark it and write on it where More in the ending bit when there's like a dead squire that they find and she sends Ryland to go check out the body because she doesn't have time to check herself So then he goes to look at the body and to see what he can figure out about like how he died and like where he was And so he's like, I bet she could get more in front than I could out of this But you know, I got what I could and so then they like, you know Vulcan mind meld so that she can see what he saw anyway And um, and then she's like, okay, your conclusions were pretty good But you actually missed 50 billion things and he's like like what and she's like Well, the particular dust on the boot of his shoe was actually from this part of the world I was like, okay, I know you want her to be Sherlock real bad, but she's not fucking Sherlock. This is stupid And it doesn't like do anything to the was it important to know And again, maybe it happens in like the next books, but it just Again, it was just like all this description with no actual like Care like, you know, I feel like a lot of us Like they we figure out characters through their actions and through their feelings But all of this we're just constantly told what characters do What they think what they're thinking but and like they're We get to know characters by how other people think about them That wouldn't be my favorite thing But it was clear that the author was really really interested in his own world building And so you were getting a deep dive into how the magic works How the politics works and the characters don't really feel like characters Because he's really focused on like explaining all the point But the magic makes no kind of sense So it's not like if you and then that can work if like the main focus here is the characters So we're really getting to know the characters and the magic is kind of like incidental to that But there's like everything in the book is incidental to everything else So I'm like, what is your focus? Like, what am I meant to be getting out of this? Yeah, there was not like personality or like thread that I could connect to because it's like I can read bad writing like I I tried to like that this It's like recent vampire book that was published and it was really terribly written But like the characters were just kind of fun So you just you just hooked on to that and then whatever followed the plot through Well, presumably at least the jokes are funny. Kirk and all's jokes are not funny And like yeah, there's no like personality to it They're just like retold that they have these like fun personalities But the only one I liked was that like lizard creature that was like guarding Kalandra's land or talk And he kind of like came off as Drax the destroyer from like guardians of the galaxy like this big brutish like very literal But again, like he feels like a kind of character we've seen before and I was like, oh, he's he's funny I like he was mainly comic relief He was mainly comic relief and it was supposed to be like don't judge a book by its cover kind of like moral lesson in there Like because he's trying he said he's trying to touch on these things Like, you know, you think that like you can trust your government, but really there's a huge conspiracy So you can't put up women in charge because it's bad news And that's like really these people are your enemy, but they're also just people like, you know, there's We we don't keep our words like they're trying to like touch on these things And it doesn't really carry you through to like all of the plot points. So you're like what So it's like with like the no no our people that are these they're warring tribes that they're trying to fight We're sort of told that they're just people who we're trying to get back land And that there's a complicated history that we don't know yet But then when we meet them, they're not they're like stupid and they're like homophobic and Like the far we're like rylan faces off with one and he yells at him something about him being like a fairy boy fucker or something And I was like so the only way you could make the enemy worse than rylan because rylan is the worst Is to have him say the most like it it's not only that it's like Uh on the nose on it's like it's like out of it's like why would this character Suddenly say that other than for you to be like see the baddies are homophobic and sexist isn't that bad I'm like, but if you were trying to show that like actually the baddies are complicated and this is actually really complicated Why would you make them? Thoughts about the insult is like why would they even think that that's an insult like they're such like primitive people? And I'm like sir, you are not want to talk don't even and so like and like you can tell that like this author was trying with like inclusion Because the guy that gets killed at the beginning is gay. Like he he has this often mentioned that he had We literally buried our gay isn't like the first first And uh, like he has a husband and so it's supposed to be like it feels like look what i'm doing wink wink And it's a queen in charge We're going in charge But like none of that actually like shifts how the world works like none of the main characters are Well, it does is has the baddies be like we hate queers and women and you're the good guys Well, we have queers and women and you feel no kind of way about that therefore. We are the goodies But I mean even so like uh I mean, I think you're meant to feel like a kind of like aha wow when you know dead hero Nallore whatever is actually not dead and they find him in his sword And the thing is like it's not even a situation where like I mean in theory like the more time you have to develop And establish that somebody is dead has been dead everyone knows they're dead They've been dead a long time like this is just like not a thing you expect to see it's a part of the myth of this people And then to find out they're alive should be like whoa um and like I mean, I guess you could say We hadn't been the book hadn't spent long enough establishing that but I don't even think that's true Because like I've read books were in the very first chapter You set up that a thing exists or doesn't exist and the end of that chapter you find out that it does or doesn't Like which is a big surprise and I am surprised even though I had only one chapter to acclimate to that like even in A song of ice and fire like in the prologue for clash of kings It's like a it's like a short story unto itself that you could read as a standalone Because like you take it presents you entirely different characters and entirely different situation from what you saw in the previous books Um and is like explaining to you new magic use new faith like a new situation And by the end of the prologue there is like an massive like subversion surprise And by the end of that prologue I am like on tenterhooks and like oh no Oh my god, that really happened and like in a prologue So like the fact that was his name coming back is not does not feel shocking surprising or like a wow moment Is not because we didn't spend long enough believing he was dead. It's just because it's badly written Yeah, but I didn't feel anything like I was trying because you had warned me that you didn't like it And I was like I'm gonna go in Open mine because sometimes Yeah Like sometimes I enjoy like bad thing like I like serpent and dove like just fine Like I like, you know, even though I can acknowledge the bad parts of it I would rather read serpent and dove than for the killing. Yes. I was thinking about the whole time And so I was like, maybe, you know, but there was no feeling there was no personality. Like there was not there was also no point Yes Like I I was like, you know For the first hundred pages we're talking about this missing sword And it's supposed to be building suspense to when we get this reveal that this guy is actually alive and the missing sword It's supposed to be the clue to that But like there is no He just keeps telling it us over and over again. It just feels like a very clinical Like like like you said like a clinical description of a video game. It doesn't feel like there's something There's any feeling or personality to any of it Well, so I often watch but recently I have Dipped better dive. I have been binging once again Videos unpacking my rise of skywalker is bullshit So like it's been on the brain as it always is but more particularly right now And there's like a lot of fantastic videos that address different aspects of it But one of the recurring sort of themes that people like to address is, you know Why does this plot feel empty? Like why does this not work? And like for those who say that you know It doesn't matter because it's like space wizards or whatever and they're like fine Okay, say you don't care at all about the lore of this world say it doesn't have to match up with previous lore and you can change it That's all well and good. The reason it doesn't work is because these characters. There's no point to anything They're doing there's no logic to anything they're doing the things that they are doing are not dictated by what Needs there would be or what the character would choose to do thereby what the plot needs to happen next So they happen to do the thing they happen to find the thing And none of it is like affecting anything none of it is driven by their want None of it is driven by their agency. And so like that's exactly what reading this book is like. I was like, okay so like The he kirken all comes back just because like he comes back all the time when this guy the anniversary of this guy's death And then like accidentally finds out that like there might be a bad thing happening So he guessed he has to leave because like they're in trouble And what's her name? I guess is going with him because they have to leave and after that They're just kind of like so where to now um I don't know. We'll try going there and then like they find another thing and they're like, I don't know I guess we'll try going here like there's no there's no quest that they're driving towards There's nothing they're trying to accomplish And same thing with like rylan where he's like well this lady told me to investigate that and I did and now we've left the city and fleeing as well and I guess we're being attacked and I guess and the coincidence of this big army that's been amassing It is finally attacking basically the day that they woke up the hero from seven years ago Like that all happened at the same time like how convenient Well, I like that's the other thing is they're supposed to be traveling these like large distances, but They're supposed to be traveling these large distances, but there's no concept of time Like there's no concept of the passing of time. They all have they have the food that they need They have all of the needs met there. There's no stakes They're not like Occasionally they mention that they're a little bit uncomfortable But like everything seems to happen within a week, but it doesn't really make sense. It's like all of the This is supposed to be hard Where to There's no there's no telling what's driving these people Like there's this idea that like they all want to be heroes in some way and that they all have some kind of loyalty Also, I mean they make a big deal about that kirk and l has been absent And the only time he comes like and then none of them even knew that he comes back once a year to like Have a drink over his his dead best friend's grave But like what is he doing the rest of the time? And like if he hadn't stumbled on this conspiracy and had to flee for his life with Ellen I like so what would he be up to and like if he thinks that things have gone to shit like He's just been mumbling around like yeah, that's what Well, I think like are these people loyal to their queen? Are they religious like rylan who was supposed to be like Loyal to his army really easy. He's like oh the queen's bad. Okay. I guess i'll join you to take her down And it's like but why would you do that like as a soldier as somebody who you said is loyal You don't even stop and pause for a minute. I also it is not at all clear Like there's some throwaway line about her being paranoid, but like if she's the queen Why would she need to hide that she's decided heart stones are important and that we need to divert government resources to studying them Like if that's what the queen has decided to do Then why is that a secret Well, I'm sad that then then you get into like so then like the world building like the actual world Actual world building makes no sense because again It's like this idea that like realms are on top of each other But they're also next to each other and you have to travel through realms that are Shifting like literally moving like the staircases and harry potter Like and then like if you fall you could end up in a void that exists nowhere So because like I guess that's where I seem that explanation about the gods that they worship about how they used hearth stones to each like Make their own little paradise how they wanted God made stable lands within these shifting ones and that the hearth stones Help this land stability. So the queen is collecting these hearth stones because The barriers like the literal burials between lands are like melting away So she's trying to stay up. So then that sounds like a good thing So it sounds like the queen if she's trying to stabilize then you find out that that's why they're breaking down because she took them all Right, but then they later say that that's so I got confused as to like which was actually true Like because then she's talking about how she's collecting them to stabilize the land in order for the goddess to return it's like well and the person that knows any Is Calandria and she's you know off somewhere pursuing more knowledge about this And she's left behind a literal like hologram of herself that has like memory capacity for like it like downloaded her memory for like for who she was at the moment Exactly like Superman's like Superman's like Or isn't super girl like the tv I may I don't know but like super man It's like a tech thing like it doesn't seem like magic Right because it's like it happens in super girl Where like her like little realm that she goes to like she has this like image of her mom that she can ask questions to That's like it's a memory. So she can't ask her like things that she doesn't know Anyways, it's like the same thing that happens there But again, it's like They found this realm by like dropping through Like so it's like the world was built like this but also like that and it doesn't make sense How they work and like the characters don't really know but then always happen To to get where they need to go the only thing that kind of Makes or like is how I feel like it is is that like you know the gods made their like Solid lands that these are their lands and then the shiftingness between is kind of like the ocean between continents You know, it's like that wibbly wobbly stuff that's in between and so then in order to like swim through the wibbly wobbly stuff That is like the shifting lands. That's why that's like Wibbly wobbly It's not really clear how the characters know What direction they're going but they always happen to get where they need to be when they need to get there And like that's one of the things that um, eleni uses like the hurt stones for is to like build a road within these shifting lands Even though she's never traveled there before she has no idea where she's going She doesn't know like what she's doing She just magically figures it out when she needs to and then like the two heroes are like nice job little girl And again like even the description of like the mechanics of what they're doing is is entirely unclear And it's also really hard to discern like what is only possible through a hearthstone Or is this just something that the hearthstone made easier But is already within like an ability that somebody could have it would just take take a lot out of them Because at first it seemed like when we were first introduced to hearthstone It seemed like they were just kind of like amplifiers But they could like make you stronger make you feel better Make you a little more adept at something But then it seemed like other things were only possible through the special powers Bestowed upon you through the use of a hearthstone or you know, if you find the little hole where you plug it in with your power Um But then also also when like two people would connect to a hearthstone Then they would be like psychically trapped inside of it And there's a part where she kills somebody by doing that where they're both She's like, I'm not gonna fight her. I'm just gonna like back out of the hearthstone while they're in it And then they're gonna be trapped in it somehow and then cut off from their body and then be dead and I'm like What the fuck is a hearthstone? Well and it seems like the only certain people can use hearthstones But then no that's not true either because anybody can use a hearthstone to amplify any of their powers But then like Kirk and Gull doesn't use a hearthstone So it's like and then it's it's like one of those things where the mage army Or the army Or whatever they are they they use magic, but then like It would be interesting if it's this idea where like magic has kind of lost its importance in this land And so like these people who have some magical ability haven't been trained in it because Like magic is less important, but we know that the queen Likes magic and has created a special mage force to study magic Even though they already have the el tenor eye, which are like institutionalized mages right so that's like what is the difference between these two? Why does one learn more magic than the other? Why don't they know more magic is like a big deal that like The auxiliary mage core has been like stealing people away from the el tenor eye And like that's why that's like that part of their infiltration plan Is that rylan's supposed to pretend like he's considering breaking away from the el tenor eye So that he can join the auxiliary mage core, but you're like but the queen is in charge of both of them Like the queen is in charge of everything so like Why make these rules that both of them have to like Study this thing like again like if the queen had said we're going to figure out how to use this Then why it seems like there's a lot of people like more people numbers-wise that are in the mage core And if if this is the whole thing of like because they make it sound like We weren't really supposed to know that she made the truce in order to get a bunch of hearth stones because like that's shady So that's the thing where like okay I have all these hearth stones But like they can't know it because it's bad for pr because that's kind of why I ended the war is to get them So I can only have a few people know about this, but why is the mage core huge? There's like hundreds of people studying them But this like small group of you're a highest elitist trained mages the el tenor eye They're not allowed to know about this and like it seems like everyone else does so like if it was like A different thing right where like she had decided to have of the el tenor eye A super elite like a new level for them to reach where there's like only a handful And those are like her direct reports And then that would be the elite people she trusts with studying them And then they were going to try to like rise in the ranks to infiltrate That but no there's like this massive bunch of people who all know about this and it's so easy to infiltrate The because the people guarding it. He's like I want to go have a drink Oh, you're gonna clean you're gonna like sign out for me great I'm gonna go with my like that's who's guarding the big mega government secret of the hearthstone to some guy who's like My ship is almost over. But like I wanted to watch the game You're like, I will take over and therefore infiltrate like really Like everybody's supposed to be an idiot besides like our core five people But it's like I mean compared to them I guess virama is basically short lock homes because everyone else is a complete and income poop But I mean one of those things where there are no stakes in that moment Like that like you never worry that they're not going to win and like people die But there's no like I was frankly worried they're gonna win because I would like rylan to die Yes, and thank you And like the talking dragons were cool But again, it doesn't feel like it just feels like something else that he brought in that he thought would be cool And again, like we talked about where it seems like the dragon wouldn't just let anybody ride her And the fact that she's like rylan is like the successor to her former Like sister is how she refers to like her land sister or whatever her sister. Um, because she dies tragically in battle I was like why him like he's literally the worst because you know how to pick literally anyone else Well, and it's like supposed to be like, you know that like hypo graph where like in harry potter You're supposed to like bow to the hypo graph and be very polite to it That's exactly what happens like he's polite to the to the dragon and like is nice to it So the dragon's like, oh you must be a good human The hypo graph can't talk whereas the dragon is like his sentient has speech can explain what she's been seeing is like Oh, I did a survey of the land and I saw the army and they're over here so like The fact that like a Abyssal animal that can't talk is like going off of like physical cues like oh you're submitting to me therefore This is like but something that can talk in reason and is like, I guess you can be my friend What like there's the part where like he convinces her that you know instead of taking vengeance now We should help the army help the living. She's like that's actually some good logic right there. I'm gonna go with that and I'm like You can't have it both ways. Well, especially because it's established at the end that like her People I guess like her I don't know if it's like a rave They're like sentient and they have lands So like I don't know. Anyway, so her kind is fighting With the big bads, right? So like it's not really clear Like she was so loyal to this human Well, then they're all very confident that her kind will never fight with the bad guys because the bad guys did like steal their land Right, but like then but I guess they are fine with it now. So yeah For some reason It's just like the whole book. I was like, okay Okay, and okay It's just nothing But why and then at the end like Like even the end when uh masakans like son or grandson has like, oh you did exactly what I want He did my granddaddy and now I'm in charge But he's not in person there He used an elaborate and presumably difficult form of magic to like Mentally transport himself into like a bunch of blood that took his shape so he could talk at our heroes Just so he could say ha ha ha it doesn't matter that you defeated him because I actually wanted you to defeat him And now be born I will be killing you shortly and I'm like what possible benefit Is it to this guy who's like, okay, great They did what you wanted and you they fell perfectly into your trap So baiting them right now like you got I don't understand other than for our heroes to find this out There is no possible benefit to this character showing up through blood magic to be like You're doing exactly what I wanted after that reveal Alani is like, let's go let's go to my home and see my dad Well also like I did underline this because like so they describe at length You know the blood is like forming and forming and then it forms into like a very specific shape It's not vaguely human like they can tell he's wearing leather armor. That's how specific this blood shape is Um, and then after he's done being like, ha ha you fell into my plan. I will be vanquishing you shortly. Bye. Bye So after he does that, um Alani is like that was blood sorcery and I was like, no shit I think I figured that out for myself. Thank you another form of magic in this world Because everybody just seems to have it I guess Because we don't really meet anybody who can't do magic Except for like, I don't know Do we meet any like normal people don't even think we meet any normal There's like vaguely the villagers that must flee that we're defending Right. So and then I mean kirk and all and the lore basically don't do any magic They make ellen I do all of it. So for all intents and purposes, they're not magic So kirk and all uses like battle magic Where like he can confuse his Opponents because that's how like she was alani was originally ellenie was originally trained That she has these like necklaces That's like also amplifiers And like while she's in battle she can use one to be like you're afraid You're confused Like she can use I definitely forgot about her like little Little amplifier necklace that doesn't come into it again ever Like that's what they're trained to do is that like in battle they can like use But also like if those little like physical Thingies that she's wearing or amplifiers are how are they what are they if they're not hearth stones? Like what is this thing that you were using before? They're to describe as theater masks So she wears like a necklace of like these little masks that are in the like they where they have So it's like again. She's her dad's in the theater Hey, this looks so much are those Of those her stones like so yeah, it's again like one of those things where So I think kirk and all does that thing too where he can like do that kind of stuff in battle But it's not clear how and like why he can't do other forms of magic But he's I just decided to flip to a random page to see like what I tag because I tab so many things and like the very first Because like I didn't tab in the beginning. I hadn't decided yet that that was the thing I was doing and I was like forget this is bad. I'm tabbing everything And like just the first thing is is an error where it says and they'll be no need to tolerate anyone like you You mean there'll be Not they'll be Like do you know how english works and then like this was not grammatically incorrect, but it's stupid that like Red and white kirk and all suggested he was right. Yes Like you don't have to say he was right And yes, like yes conveys that he was right Why Dialogue does not feel natural. It feels like I am using dialogue to tell you how this world works I am telling you a story about the past and then yeah, so the dialogue is just like very kind of clunky Yeah, there's and there's like so many times when they say stuff that I'm like There is no possible reason for this character to be saying this other than for them to be communicating this information to the reader And that information may even be character information not world information Like you wanted me to know that this character feels a kind of way about this So even though it makes no sense for them to bring up that they feel this way about this thing that we weren't talking about They've decided to talk about it right now so that you know that this is how they feel about a kind of thing like that I that's the like next page that I tabbed was um Kirk and all randomly in the beginning asking ellen I if she's a Praying person and that if so she should like pray and she's like what are you not? He's like no prayers are useless like we don't believe in the gods And I'm like if you think they're useless and you don't believe in it Why on earth would it occur to you to say you should pray right now? I mean, I think it's stupid and it's not like they were already talking about faith She just out of the clear blue. He's like, are you a praying person? Then you should pray Do you pray? Do you believe it? No, I think it's stupid. It's like why did you bring that up? Like if you think it's stupid, you just wouldn't bring it up Well, and it's like she's like like discussed as pious like and like she like does pious things But then like that's not even something that stays consistent throughout the whole book Like then like she doesn't even like so again like her piety It's not clear why it's a thing And and but like also all it feels like her piety is again just like a measure of kirkenahl's like Impiety, so it's like so again Like she doesn't even have anything in her character that stays consistent That's driving her character because if she was like super religious it would make sense Like it like it would give her some kind of drive That's like not even consistent because it doesn't Get mentioned more than that and then in the end when you find out more about the goddesses like it's Supposed to be this like big reveal about how the these they're not actually gods. They're just like humans who Found these rocks who created the world. So they're not actually gods Like they're in this sort of like Eden like garden where there's berries and nuts So it's like but wouldn't that blow your mind if you're like a pious person And then all of a sudden you found out that it was actually people who found Brooks bones that created the world I don't know where these people came from that they I feel like she does think to herself that that someone then must have created them right, so Blow your entire world view like you're talking about this like the way that you thought the world worked But again, it doesn't say like nothing phases any of the characters Or at least I mean it phases them if it's like a oh, no great danger approaches We must do magic things again Okay, but oh, so no no like There are so many things that like okay, so if you say this is how the magic works I guess is how the magic works So like I don't think it makes any sense But like I can't say that's not how a thing works because it doesn't exist But there's so many things that we said like the battle strategy It makes no kind of sense and that is how a thing works So like no and there's a part where like it's specifically like if you just hadn't described this Like and just like I'd glossed over it. It wouldn't have mattered but Rylan is on the back of the dragon thingy and then he like jumps off of it From like I guess a bit of a height and then Like if they had just said that I'd like okay, we're moving on No, no, it specifically tells us that he braces himself on his palms and then rolls To break the the momentum of the fall and I'm like so you broke your wrists Like if you fall from a height height and brace your fall with your palms Which is what it says you will have broken your wrists That is the worst thing you could possibly do and if anyone is reading this and going if I fall from a height I read in a book you should catch yourself. It's the opposite of what you should do But it makes a point of telling us that he does that and I'm like Why would why why are you even making a big deal of explaining? Specifically that he does this when it's the worst thing you could do like the but the way that he It's written also is that he then like picks up the threads of his witcher sense And then tries to control the wind so that it slows down His fall and I was like, how can your magic do that? Like so now you can control the wind and if you can control the wind Why can't you just fly does that mean he knows the name of the wind? So again, it's just like he he writes in magic moments like when it Sort like he's like, oh, this would be cool if his magic my magic could do this Like literally like it's it's like one of those things where it becomes such a it's not even So there's like a lot of times when like you establish rules for magic But then you bring in new things new like but now the magic can also do this and people are like, okay But there's no stakes if the magic will always like do a sex mock and a save them But this is the part where like I have no idea what the rules are Like I don't know if I'm supposed to know that it could do that Like I can't even be like, oh it couldn't do that before but now it does this I'm like, I don't I have no idea how any of this is supposed to work And there's like sometimes there's like threads like when they're in their witcher sense There's this idea that you can see a bunch of magical threads and then like manipulate those threads But even that's not consistent to then how the magic looks when you're because you can also use magic when you're not in your witcher sense Like again, it just seems like he wrote this and it was just like, oh, this would be cool if this happened This would be cool if this happened, but none of it has like a Sense of forward momentum that like Like I don't know what we're also like, I mean, I've often said this about like big magic books. We're like, okay That's why I tend to prefer low magic because like the butterfly effect of any magic in your world Like the way that people react to that use it how they organize themselves How it would change the rules of everything because the way that people operate in a world where that's possible It's going to be different entirely So like even a little bit of magic like I often feel like, okay But if they have this magic like they wouldn't still have x y and z institutions They wouldn't still behave x y and z ways. It doesn't make any sense anymore But this there's like such bonkers levels of magic all the time that I'm like, I don't the butterfly effect. What like there's just what And like if magic just exists randomly if people are gifted it and I mean honestly this entire like the shifting lands is a metaphor for this entire book because like everything is Shifting and wibbly wobbly all the time. I have no idea where we are or what we're doing Yeah, and so it's like kind of sold as this like great world building, but no Like world building what I don't know Well, so okay, I was thinking about this this is not a new series like this didn't just come out So that I'm like if they're having trouble moving it not surprised Well, they sent the publisher sent it when the third one came out third one came out in august And they sent us like the full trilogy in like september or october, right? And I think it's because we would review other fantasy things on our pages. And so I think they thought we would like it This cover doesn't look too good like when you just see like a little thumbnail image, but up close It is truly atrocious like their faces are it's unfortunate. It's really bad And it's also the way that the background is like very Indistinct like you can't tell where they are or what this world looks like You it will not become clearer if you read the book Like this is exactly what it's like reading this book like some figures that are on a like a vaguely magical plane of Existing where magic things are happening to them And it's like then like the towns that we do come across because it's like for most of it We're on this class with everybody I don't think we watched the video Like what they should sell is my annotated version But when we see the cities they're like vaguely medieval like they have outer rings and things like that like vaguely But then also, we know that the what what battle strategy there is which is, you know, not much they refer to like catapults and Swords and schemes and things like that It's like vaguely medieval like some fantasy is but then at the same time when he was describing the city at the very beginning He talks about there being suburbs and I was like, excuse me, sir I mean, they basically wear like apple rings instead of apple watches. So Yep push like a little the fact that like That that's the words that he's using to describe the magical things that you turn them on and off Or that you're charging things. I'm like Basically convey the same thing if you it was a way to like activate something magical like that's a thing Like there is definitely like Magical objects that you need to do a thing too for them to like be functioning in their magical way and that you can get them To stop but like it's a literally talk about turning it on and off. I'm like Do you want us to think that these are gadgets? Yeah Well, and it's like you if people didn't have electricity In these days like why would they even think about turning things off and on like you wouldn't have that kind of Framework If you don't have things that actually do that So like that's also what doesn't make sense is that it feels like it's trying to be like vaguely medieval the way fantasy is Like because they don't have running water and stuff like that So I ride on horseback everywhere and have forms. They don't have guns. It's not even flintlock fantasy right, so then it's like So like the magic doesn't even seem to do anything for the world and again like that There's like one big city But then they talk about realms, but there's not really realms or even villages. They don't meet villages in between these bigger cities To know what to say. I feel bad. I'm sure this key worked very hard on it I mean also we haven't mentioned that uh Despite all of the many many many like objective errors i.e. That's not what that word means That's not correct grammar, which like that is not a point of debate. That's not a matter of taste He's an editor is his job. So And he's Because it says that he does an imprint and so I'm wondering if he's an editor For like an imprint of same martin's press and maybe that's why But it said he's also the editor of the sword and sorcery magazine. I think Yeah, it says he edits the sword and sorcery magazine tales from the magician's skull and serves as executive editor of the perilous worlds book imprint I just opened up to one of my tabs and it says Ellen I had never been interested in majorie as martial training despite her natural affinity But then like that's all she does. So it's like literally all she knows. So then what is she interested in instead? Yeah In this page, I literally I just like marked the paragraph and wrote vomit I think it's a rylan chapter But it's like there's no sense of her having a character before she met Oh Oh, this was a part where like this was both rylan being sexist and also a weird inclusion Of like racism from the author where it was not meant to be like racist But the fact that he's using describing it this way is like, why are you describing this? Um, it's uh, because he's surprised to learn the denalia that chick who wears the armored skirt Is the niece of the magic user all ten or I who just died Um, there was a world of difference between denalia's peaches and cream complexion Just visible beneath the layer of grime and aridels not brown But there had been frequent intermingling between denizens of the realms for generations rylan was less puzzled By the declaration of familial connection that he uh, was further saddened. I'm sorry So like he's not this paragraph is telling us that he's actually not surprised that somebody whose pale was a relative of somebody that was brown So he wouldn't actually be thinking this but the author is having him noted in order to not be surprised by it So that we can know that one was white and one was dark But it was just like such a weird like there was a world of difference between her peaches and cream And the not brown but he's not surprised by this so he's not actually thinking about this at all He's just sad. It says he's not surprised He's sad to learn that she was actually her niece and that's that's sad because that's her relative now But you included this whole paragraph about intermingling of the denizens of the realm like Yeah, that's why I just marked the paragraph vomit Again, it's like no sense of like where people come from like skin tones come from specific places because of environmental things And then like now because people either especially because like but also this this al tenor I who just died Her aunt Like I would imagine this like sort of capital city where the al tenor I trained would be pretty cosmopolitan So like you would have a lot of people mixing from all over coming to be part of the artillery core for the al tenor I So like it's literally there like rylan isn't even surprised The author is the one that's like it's weird that there are different colors But he's not surprised because he's not racist and because we have lots of intermingling What and it's like I wanted to see what other people thought about it And that was what one person said that there's like two like lgbtq characters And then they both die and then there's like two people of color Who are described like that like and there could be more people of color But the two that are described well, and also the enemy is coded as like hordes of probably Yeah Like that's what I also had a problem with too Like like first of all like people's skin tones It's not like really clear like where they all fall unless the women are described as being pale and beautiful because like we always get All the ones that are described as beautiful are described as being pale is being pale, right? So then but so then you do get the description of like the bad tribes and they are coded as like almost like a native people Like an like an like a almost like a native american kind of Feel and you're like this does not feel good Like this does not and I don't even know if it's like on purpose like if he's like coding it on purpose but again like we don't Get a lot of it like we don't get a lot of description in that sense So but there are like some parts where I was like is he is he doing that? Is he because I don't really like the way that he's describing these like savage lens. I don't know I randomly found the page where I marked him Falling on his palms and I underlined it and wrote that's a terrible idea. You just broke your wrist So it's a lot of fun reading this book constantly going Yeah And like you can skip whole paragraphs because it was just like a list of questions the characters were asking themselves And I was like I hate this I was like I don't even notice if I I don't even know if I've seen this in other books this way But it's like instead of like internal feelings and dialogue Yes, exactly instead of internal feelings and dialogue They'll just like ask themselves a series of questions. Am I supposed to be doing this? What does this actually mean and it's like again supposed to be like kind of creating I don't know some kind of suspense for the reader, but it's just like a series of questions It's like a boring way to introduce that It's it's like how it's not just how what not to do inclusion It's how not what to write like the all of it like Poor pros poor sentence structure poor grammar poor world building poor magic building poor character development poor It's also narratively like it's not paced in a way. That's like, you know, um, don't know what's happening But like I'm kind of into it. He's like, well, nope. It's paced terribly Like there's not really like I mean there's not a three act structure Like it's like there is no like arc to this. It's just like stuff happening like a video game Where there's like here's like this little quest and then we kind of defeat like when they defeat that animal It's just Kirk and all in Illinois when they first go to that like That fortress and they beat the like Well, first they beat the guard soldiers and she's like, oh no one of them should have been taken prisoner All of them a jet and then like they move on Yeah, and they think beastie together because they defeat that boss And then they and then oh we had to reveal that this character is actually alive You found a thing and then we move on to the next part of the crest where we like find We encounter the guy in his little the guy that they were going to see but he's actually gone crazy because of the heart stones So then they acquire that heart stone and she learns how to like charge it like a literal device and like Then you move on it's all just like little like quests in a video He's like a dungeons and dragons person or something, you know, like is it it could be that too or just plays a lot of video Yeah, yeah, so we're just like going on these like quests and there's no like really Like we know that there's like a bigger conspiracy. We know there's a bigger war but The stakes don't feel very real and I think as much as I hate lot Ryland at the very least His plotline is like we're trying to find out a thing We found out the thing and now we're acting on that knowledge So it's like a little bit more driven by intentional purpose But like not much more And again, like not really even like character growth And then maybe it was that I just like had read Abercrombie and it was like so blown away by the way that he creates such Voices for his different point of views and how like it really is a complex look at the way that this world works And you do it wasn't fair and as easy to tell Ryland and Ellen I apart because one is a piece of Shit and the other one is a non-entity. So Well, and it's like in Abercrombie the magic like you don't like nobody really has it and it's unclear like how it works But that works within like the realm that he's created like everything Also, there's very few magic users. There's like it's not like everyone is walking around doing wild magic They're like, what is that don't know like it's like very rarely mentioned and so it seems like a mysterious thing that like You know it it being mysterious does not mean the rest of the plot makes no sense Right, exactly. And but and it works with like the way that it's mysterious the way that like string theory is mysterious to us now Like it doesn't affect my life, but like that's wild It's not used as like a day's mock and I like it's not used as like an out all of the time Like and there are like real consequences to it and it's like that's not even like by as by as is like real power Is more than just his magic. It's like his way that he Well, I guess I don't want to spoil the last book for anything I mean, it's also the fact that like none of your pov characters are magic users And so then like and it's I still even though by as is not a pov character I have a better sense of like how magic works and what he's doing Then anything that was for everybody was every pov in this book was a magic user and I have no idea Magic is supposed to work When you read the first book in that trilogy it does feel Sort of aimless or kind of like I wonder what this is all going to add up to then you get to the end and you're like, ah get it But yeah, it was like or just like I'm not sure where this is going But like I'm getting a real sense for the characters. I'm getting a real sense for the world I'm getting a real sense for the magic. I just don't know Where we're going with any of this yet. Whereas this book. I'm like, I don't know who these people are I don't know what this magic is this world what world like I don't understand anything and I don't know where we're going with it Well, there's like a huge payoff at Abercrombie Like there is a huge payoff like in like you have these moments where you're like, oh that was all worth it Like all of that to get here to this point and as I look back it makes so much sense Here I kept like waiting for there to be a moment of payoff like a moment of like character development A moment of plot that made sense a moment where it was like, oh the magic Something that would pay off and like make things look into place and who never get that And you like even if it's a trilogy you need to have like a moment in the first book that kind of like clicks it all together And you just don't get it Even when you have to be good at at least like I said before like if he was really into Developing a magic system and clearly characters aren't a strong suit I'd be like well, that's not my favorite kind of thing to read but like that's where your strong suit is And if it was the opposite right where like you're not so good at world building You're not so good at magic, but like you really get people So this is like a people story then I could also that's a little more magic So like okay, I get that that's what like this is not going to be a perfect book It's not going to be a great book, but like that's more where your focus is it's like how a lot of people will talk about Sarah J mass books And talk about how she really should stop pretending to be a fantasy writer and just like lean in to being a smut writer Because like that's where her interest is and so when you read it you're like Well, I don't like to read that necessarily but I can see that if she has a strong suit That's it. That's more what she's interested in writing. That's more what she's into doing And so the other things suffer for that reason because that's not really what she's interested in So like again in a fantasy book where like the characters are it or the magic is it And so the other will suffer for not being the focus of the author But like there is a strong suit to be had but this doesn't have one Or there's like that third option of being a plot driven book, right? Like I feel like Sarah Dean moss can do that too Like she there was like several mystery type things in this and so if it had really felt like a mystery type Book where I could be like I really want to know the mystery answer But no because most of it was answered really quickly and it was stupid answers Yeah And so like they're like because I can read books too that have just like A plot where it's like you're just constantly being propelled by what's happening next and you can kind of get And I feel like serenade moss does that too. Were you kind of like ride this wave of like, oh my gosh, we're doing this And then we saw that everybody this but like that's not really even what happens here Because it doesn't even be driving into a plot an answer to that question. No when you read the end of this book It's more like a well, we must regroup so that we can avenge the fallen dead It's the only like lingering mystery is like the fucker hearthstones and who are the gods, but like I don't care I don't even know like like it feels like the next book would be the same kind of thing where they just kind of like Saunter around the world around more more of this one of the covers has the picture of uh A dragon on it But also the way the dragon is described I'm very confused about how I'm into picture because it's mainly they call it a worm Which is like another word for dragon basically in fantasy books, but it's feathered and it has a beak Yeah, it's like a hippogriff too I'm like, uh, and then the way that it talks like a human being like it can form You know those sounds but it has a beak. Yeah And it has feathers because magic. I know it's a dragon Okay, whatever Yeah, again, there's no like consistency to it and like there's not even like a mystery. There's like nothing left over from the book It's like, oh, I wonder Like you you don't really get that because like some of the big things It's not even like the payoff of the prophecy like you in this book You find out that this hero has been dead for seven years and then you find out He's actually alive And then this prophecy that is foretold that only he can kill the big bad the big enemy only he can do It with this sort he does that at the end of this book So it's not even like with the kinkular chronicle Well, there's like a lot of things you know about quotes legend where like These are the things he's supposed to have done in his lifetime that he's a legend for And then during the books like the first book you see like one or two of the things And then the second book you see two or three of the things And there's still a lot of things left over from his legend that like he has not done yet Um, but here like there was one one mystery and one prophecy and both were resolved Yeah, and I care about nothing too bad guys are dead to time That guys are dead by the end of the book and then like the queen might be a bad person But I don't even think she mostly sounds like she's written as being like them the hearthstones have like made her crazy Yeah, which is like In a matriarchy where the queen is in charge and she's crazy Makes me so mad. I love to see it Like I would have rather her been like Intelligent and interesting, but we only meet her once and then she's not even Again, it's not particularly devious or cunning her plan to like it didn't feel like a wow deep like Jean le Carré story Reveal of deep conspiracy of the state to find out that the truce with the enemy was actually Because she wanted hearthstones and that there's this whole section of the other magic part of the government That's investigating hearthstones like it didn't feel cloak and dagger It didn't feel like a deep, you know black ops like state secret that you found out It's like in plain sight and is like why didn't you know that she's been doing this She doesn't even have like a cloak and dagger reason for doing it She says she's doing it because she thinks that she's going to bring almost like a second coming To her land and everyone that interacts with the hearthstones gets all loopy about this this goddess coming back Right, so then it's like she's just crazy. That's just it. She's either it's either She's just crazy or she's right and she really is trying to save her people But her craziness seems to be a kind of craziness that everybody who like gets in because like that What's his name their friend from seven years ago who like got too deep with his hearthstone? He was also talking about the return of the goddess And he's got to protect these people by freezing them in time until such come until such time as the goddess returns and they're like Oh, he's crazy now And then it's like and then when uh the bad guy decking on or dig the necron whatever his name is Like then he easily like manipulates her to like she's supposed to be this like brilliant queen and then like He flirts with her a little bit And then women are so easy to fool Besides like, um, eleni and uh Brahma, um Like all of the women you can just like flirt with them to get them to do whatever you want Like that's things sometimes they flirt with you to get what they want Like the beautiful sorceress lady who's evil with her beautiful evil-ness and her evil beautiful-ness Waste of my life Yeah The other covers are better than the first one like the one with the dragon on it was like pretty cool looking And I think that's why I was like bummed because I was like, oh, I like the idea of dragons And I think that there were a couple of I found that even though in theory I like dragons almost every book that has a dragon I don't like yeah Yeah, and I think it's because they do this because it doesn't really make sense but It's would be a cool video game. I guess like if I had to like do these quests as like a first person I feel like at least a video game would have to make it somewhat clearer what the magics are so that you can interact with them as a gamer like user But like yeah, yeah Because like even like the dragon part where like wylan gets to write like that's not a payout Like all of these things that are supposed to be payout kind of feel like disappointments Because I thought I mean like speaking of like mary susan gary sues Like the fact that the dragon picks him to like be the successor Like it's not like if it had been set up or his whole life. He was like wouldn't it be cool I really regret the back in the day They had these dragons to ride and I I'll never get to be a dragon rider Um, and that like he sees this and is like wow That's so amazing and then to for him to be like humbled by but that doesn't happen He just shows up. She's like, okay, you ride me now and he's like, okay. I ride you now like Wow You that like Brahma is there. She's the more brilliant one. Like she should be the one Julie pray to heights though because she's a weak woman So rylan gets to be the hero and then here again, like this is a thing that I thought like a better rider I'd be confident in like he's making a commentary But here I was like, I don't understand what you're trying to do with this The fact that like rylan himself feels like that the reputation He seems to be earning is unearned that he like feels like he did a few things in battle And then he like took some trail mix from the guards and like that's all he's done But then when he hears about how people talk about him, they're like, he's this great legendary warrior And he shuns the better food to eat with his men and he's like wow like I'm in like and that's where again It feels like jazelle or like except jazelle They're intentionally written to be that and about where like we're intentionally talking about how people Build a legend around you that you don't necessarily earn But here is just like it just seems like because like the fact that the the common people Have like rumors about him that grow and grow and grow like that's kind of what coath does Where he feeds lies about himself to like get a reputation on purpose But here like Like there's also varama who randomly chose him to stay behind to be her number two So like you have people who actually know him and actually intimately know his abilities Constantly validating him as well. The dragon did pick him varama did pick him Like the what's her name who's in love with him with the metal skirt She is into him So like it's not just that people who don't know him people who are because like that's what happens with jazelle People who know him are like you're a piece of shit But people like the common people who like see him do things think he's handsome Think he's like done some heroic things that they've heard about Um, and like that's why it's a commentary on like the masses and how easy it is to kind of like Yeah, so there was a situation where like he had like Stuff like somehow gotten that position under varama and she didn't want him But he was the one that had been given to her as her assistant She's like fine. I'll work with what i'm given that would have been a more interesting dynamic And in the first place to read about is him having to earn her and like that would make sense Where she doesn't tell him things because she'd just be like i've been like you've been forced on me So I will use you but like I don't like it But instead she's like specifically choosing him because like he's got more abilities than he realizes and i'm just like Does he though? Yeah, yeah It was not like yeah, none of it like paid off Yeah Don't recommend We are not reading the trilogy We're originally going to read all three and that's why I messaged you. I was like I started the first one I am not reading two more of these Because by the end I was just like skimming it too because like it was just too much and I don't know again. No payoff if I'm gonna like spend them and it like didn't read quickly because like some of the sentence structures Are really weird like I'm a fast reader and I was like oh a week for 380 pages. That's plenty of time And I would yeah, I would like I it was a slog to get through just like the pros. It was just like why isn't this over yet? Yeah, but it's over now and you're welcome. You don't have to read it because we did Spend two hours here instead of however many hours reading that I was gonna say like it's only fun that I like knew someone else was suffering with me being heather Like if this had been a book that I randomly picked up I would not have like finished it to post a review for it by myself But I knew that like I could talk to heather about it and like Just get it all out Plus, I mean, it's honestly like at this at I continued tabbing even though like I was like I need to just stop and I just read it because like every time I saw something egregious I was like I just I can't believe that's in this book So I have to tab it too. Yeah Yeah, because I've read like a lot of bad books in a fun and entertaining way Especially like some of the candle unlimited books are like fun like bad in a fun way And it's like there's still like a plot and if they're short, right? They just kind of gets you through but this one like nothing And if it was like a situation where it's kind of like a simplistic silly derivative magic system But you're like whatever like it gets the job done but here like What I keep coming back to like comparing it to serpent and dove where like the world building was kind of messy The magic system was kind of messy, but I saw it a fun time reading that book Like it was a fun. It was a fun ride and I felt like compelled to finish You know, but there was like nothing about like if I didn't we were going to talk about it today I probably would have stopped about a third of the way through. Oh, yeah I would have stopped on like page 20 and been like what no This is terrible If you are going to give it a try you could read like 20 to 30 pages And you'll know right away if you if you care enough to continue because like some of the grammatical errors are like on page two so I like even like and like the the introduction of some of the characters right away like the Eleni like Giles I probably would have stopped there. Like this is not going to be the book for me It'd be like looking in the mirror and thinking, ah, I look enigmatic Do you to yourself? No, you don't ever and like even then like the things that like are supposed to be mysteries like the first Like we get this kind of prologue as a visitor visiting Also say I don't like serpent and dove but also that is a situation where like the point of the story Is this character relationship and like everything else is incidental to that but here There isn't a point to any one thing where you're like, this is the thing and everything else is incidental All of it is incidental. That's why I don't know why we're doing this Well, I thought like maybe Ellen and I like like having a crush on percanol like that would develop into like a thing But then like it never did there wasn't any even any chemistry It was just like very briefly a low-key jealous when she realizes that he's into calandria and she's like She had for me. Okay, move on. What occasion I'd be like, oh, I really want his praise. Oh, he's really handsome Oh, he's really this. Oh, he's really that and so I thought it was gonna like get somewhere And then it never it was just her fangirling over him So that's why like a lot of the main character like the three male characters nilar Percanol and rylan just seem kind of like these male self-inserts because it's like everybody's always like, oh, they're so good And you don't get that like I mean you get like oh the women are smart And they can do their own drama is basically sherlock. So I don't know who Elani eleni is supposed to be eleni. Oh, you know who she is if we're doing sherlock. She's molly Um, what's his name says what's her name? Which one's molly? She's the like she works In the lab and she has a huge crush on sherlock. Oh, I was like Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like she's she's like convenient and she helps them do things Yeah, because that's what they use her for in sherlock She's always at the lab and she can like give them a thing and a sciency You know solution and she's just like delight for sherlock. Yeah Yeah, I was just gonna say and like that's like her character is to just be kind of like, oh, you're so amazing So it's like if sherlock was told from the perspective of them Yeah, no, really. Yeah, so the the only redeeming character was like or talk, but he's like not in and enough And even then it's like it's because it's like a fun comic relief because if you finally get to a point where you're like, oh, there's some like Jovialness in this book at this point where because like the other part honestly I felt like I understood him as a character and his motivations better than I mean that's it too. Like he's his character is totally explained Because I think that he was trying to be funny with some of rylan's and kirk and all's character jokes But none of it's funny because it's I mean Again, kirk and all has that kind of sherlock energy of like he's this like wild rude badass Who's the stuff of legend but he's like so brilliant and so good at what he does and he like Quotes plays and it like says Random things that seem callous, but I'm just like everything he says is stupid makes no sense The quotes from plays are terrible when he says that it doesn't come off as like Because you can write a character where like in a moment that you would think would be dramatic They'd say something flippant and it feels like that's true for their character And as as unusual as that is or as unexpected as that is like it fits and this is not That it just feels like the author thought well, I'll I'll just say whatever Thing would make him sound wild and Then I just wrote that in and it wasn't good or funny or fitting the character and I'm like no That's like he kills everybody like he kills really easily and like She's like shocked by that like oh, that's why he's crazy because he kills But then I so it's like he's trying to create a morally great character But again, like you don't like feel anything about it Like you don't because nothing feels like This part of it the part where uh rylan goes to look at the corpse of the squire to like Go check out the body so that he can report back to varoma I feel like they explained to him like how he was killed and he's looking at this mutilated corpse And they're all like the people who are with him like they knew him when he was alive So they're upset about it and rylan says well damn Like I literally circled that because that's his reaction. Well damn Like Yeah Well Like we're done dancing the boil of rage that's been slowly filling Is now now I see why you may grant videos because you just want to like get it all out It's cathartic cathartic for sure So I'm excited to read good or things with you and talk about good or things like you'll be on the podcast to talk about Last argument of kings and then in april we're doing our triple lear Yes, that'll be so at the very least king lear itself We know that at least one of the three will be good. Well, the thing is like I started the queens of enus I actually have it right here. This is one of the ones we're going to be discussing and I've actually like read Uh like a hundred pages of it before and it's really beautifully written and I like the idea It was just really cannot be said for this It was just really really slow and so I wasn't like in the headspace because it is really long And it was very slow and I was like I need something like, you know, like sometimes you just like need something That's a little faster pace. So that's like why I stopped not because it was bad in any way But because it was just a little slow And then of course we have no idea if done bar is going to be good, which is the hogarth lear Yeah, but at least those are short And I was gonna say like as much as like, okay I guess the only thing that we've read together that is worse than for the killing of kings is mcbeth by Jonas If I couldn't even finish that at least I was able to like well that one was like offensively bad This is just like what why? Yeah Yes, exactly. So but yeah, I You hate lear why? Well, it's not it's not like my favorite. We did my favorite off. Hello. Yeah I think it's it's an interesting play at the very least and I like that the queens of enus in this lair is like it's told through the perspective of cordelia And so I I really like what that's doing like again It was really interesting and it like introduces a kind of magical system to it And I think they're all women of color And I'm slightly more interested in because I like the play better. Um tessa gratton also wrote um Something based on Henry five. Yeah, I said that this this covers really pretty too. Oh lady hotspot. That's it Yeah, so I'm excited for that one one day. We'll have to do that and the lady hotspots. That actually sounds like really fun I'm sorry Okay This was fun though. Yeah It feels good to let it out especially because like I was finishing it this morning and just being like Uh That was me last night like my husband. I just like every time I would just turn it and be like, I can't do it It was also because like, uh, I need to be finishing. Um For the end of the month, uh, the third book in the live ship traders by robin hob the ship of destiny and robin hob is like Like on par with abracrombie and it's just like so good And I'm like, I could be reading that right now, but instead I'm reading this garbage Yeah That's how I felt too I was also I'm usually also like Fair enough fair enough He's he yeah, he's pretty awful. Um, but uh I was I'm also like listening to a book that I'm not like really enjoying too So I was like reading and listening to a book. I was and I'm like, I need something. I need something better Well, I think we've earned better books Yes, but also pretty much any book we read after this will like benefit from the this coming off of this will be like, well, it's better than that So it's great All right, well, thanks for having me again Yeah, and you'll be back again again very shortly because the next one's on bethany's channel, right? Or on the podcast we're gonna do last argument of things and then april We're here and then at some point henry and lady hotspur. Yes yes All right back on to better books for the rest of the week Here we go