 The reason why the narcissist tries to intimidate you. The narcissist has to be in control of you. They're very competitive. They really want to win. They really want to be more successful than you are. They want to be the best. They want to be the most intelligent. They want to be the most important person. They want to be superior and they want you to be inferior. They have to be better than you, which may be very different to how you think. You may feel no desire to compete with them. You just have your own ideas and preferences, which they see as a threat to their reality. You may try to coordinate with them, but they can't do it. They see relationships as a game, where one side wins and the other side loses. So to gain control of you, they will try to intimidate you. They will try to provoke fear within you. They will make threats so that they can maintain their position of power, so that they can feel like they're in control. Which is why they will often shout at you or put you down. Which is why they will start a smear campaign against you. They have to be independent and self-reliant, while picking apart your ideas and preferences. And being very critical of who you are and what you think. They will treat you with contempt. They will ask trick questions. Just to keep you in a state of confusion, they will withhold attachment, devotion and love. They will withhold money. They will withhold their cooperation with something you need to be done. They will spread rumors about you. They will sabotage your success. They will give you the silent treatment. And it may not make any sense to you, but it makes a lot of sense to them. Because they see it as though they're winning. They see it as though they're accomplishing something that is in their favour. Which is why they habitually seek the harm and intimidate you. They're self-absorbed. And they lack empathy. They're full of their own hangar and self-hatred. And they don't know how to regulate these emotions. Because they're very insecure. They just pretend to be confident. But there's really nothing you can tell them. If you confront them on their behaviour, they will always find a way to rationalise it. They will always find a way to shift a blame onto you. They will always make you feel like you're the problem. And they don't care about how that makes you feel. They have no interest in your feelings or pain. When they intimidate you, it gives them strength. It gives them energy. It makes them feel alive. They just see you as an object. The relationship is transactional. So as long as the engagement continues, they don't care about what it does to you. And the narcissist tries to intimidate you. You need to stop them in their tracks. Because they don't know when or how to stop. They will exceed the limits of what is reasonable or acceptable. Until you feel like you have less value and importance than other people. Until you feel like your opinions don't matter. If you allow the narcissist to intimidate you over a long period of time, you will become a shell of who you want to be. Or at least when you are around the narcissist. You can't be yourself. You can't be open, honest or trusting. You can't be authentic. You have to prevent your own development and expression. You have to prevent your feelings, impulses and ideas. You have to suppress everything that aligns with who you want to be. Because that's what their intimidation is designed to do to you. You will become very anxious. You will become very cautious. You will feel worry, nervousness and unease about anything with an uncertain outcome. You will feel very eager and concerned to do something or for something to happen. You will become very careful to avoid potential problems or dangers. Just when you're around the narcissist, you're constantly walking on eggshells. You're very careful not to offend or upset them because anything could set them off. And you're left with the assumption that they have the power, while feeling as though you have no power, which causes you to seek their validation. You feel like you always need their approval before you do something. But that's something they're never going to give to you. They're never going to let you feel like you're enough. Instead, they will keep you in a state of anxiety, where you are trying to challenge or avoid criticism because you feel like you have no other options. And whenever you try to leave this intimidating person, whatever you like or prefer will be used against you. Which means you have to put everything on the line if you want to leave them. But if you choose to remain around them, you still have to distance yourself to some extent. You need to manage your expectations. You need to create your own false self to be able to deal with them and to be who you really are somewhere else because that is the only way you're going to be able to regain control over your life. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching queries, you can email me at coaching.narksurvivor.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.