 Mother, is Maxwell House really the only coffee in the world? Well, your father says so, and your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert Young's father. A half hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House. The coffee that's always good to the last drop. When it comes to definitions, you can't do much better than Webster, can you? So let's see what the old master had to say about the word den, D-E-M. Taking our trusty dictionary in hand, we find that a den is the layer of a wild beast. It is also, and again we quote, a quiet, snug, private retreat, as a room set apart for reading. Doesn't seem to be too much connection, does it? A half hour spent with the Andersons and the White Frame House on Maple Street will help us to understand that Mr. Webster knew exactly what he was talking about, like this. Stand still, Betty, please. Mother, if you only knew how I hated this dress. Nonsense. All it needs is a little touching up, and it'll be as good as new. But it'll still have shoulder straps. Betty, if I hear one more word about that dress, you can't go to the dance at all. But Father, every other girl jumping creepers. Most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. A man comes into his own den to read a magazine, and he can't even do that. We'll be finished in a minute, Jim. That's what you said an hour ago. I know, but Betty, I can't do a thing if you're going to wiggle like that. I'm sorry. Dad. I've started this article eight times, and I haven't gotten past the first sentence. Is it a nice sentence? It's... Kitten, why don't you go upstairs? That's a fine place to study. It's lonesome. Dad, this is a big house. A living room, and a dining room, and a breakfast room, and a... Why does everybody have to congregate in the den? Betty, you're moving again. You're tickling me. Dad. Daddy! Doesn't anybody ever listen to me? Did you say something, dear? I said, honey, let's be fair. There's no need for everybody to be in this one small room, is there? We'll be finished in a minute. How does that feel, Betty? Okay, I guess. Dad. Daddy! Margaret, this is supposed to be my den. I'm supposed to be able to relax in here, quietly. But it's a sewing room, and a study hall, and a... Pathy, stop that. What? Those are pencil shavings. They don't belong in my pipe. Oh. Dad. So help me if I don't... What is it, bud? What? What do you want? Oh. What happened to the original capital of the United States? Jack Benny's got it. Now, will you please let me read this article? Jan, if the boy needs help. Why does he have to ask me? He's got all these books right in front of him. Daddy! What is it, Kathleen? Ask me what the Indians used asphalt for. I don't care what the Indians used asphalt for. Dear, it's part of her lesson. All right. What did the Indians use asphalt for? The Indians used asphalt to fix the roofs of their houses. Fine. Now... Ask me if the pioneers liked asphalt. No. Jan, really. I'm going to finish this article if it's the last thing I ever do. The pioneers did not like asphalt. Kathy. Because their horses would get stuck in the swamps. Kathy. And die. That doesn't. What does what? Margaret, if it cost me $8 million, I'm going to do it. Do what, dear? Build an extra room. All right, Betty. Turn. That's a good girl. I'm getting so tired of this dress. Margaret, didn't you hear me? Yes, dear. You're going to build an extra room. How could Jack Benny have the capital of the United States? It says right here, turn your attic into an extra room. And that's just what I'm going to do. There. Now, how does it feel? It feels fine. I'll turn it into an extra room with a lock on it. That's what I'll do. And I'd like to see anybody come up there. Come up where, dear? To the attic. What are you going to do in the attic? Honey, this article I've been trying to read, it's got all the plans and specifications for turning an average-sized attic into 200 square feet of living space. For less than half a cent a foot. You mean it tells you all that in one sentence? It was a very long sentence. All. You see this, honey? That used to be an attic. Dad. It cost this man in Milwaukee only $73.45. And look what he's got to show for it. Dad. But not again. But I have to ask you something. Go ahead. That thing about Jack Benny, that was a joke, wasn't it? Yes. It was a joke, son. That's what I figured. Well, let's get going, Margaret. Going? Where? Up to the attic. We've got to get started on this, don't we? You mean now? This very minute? Naturally. When I make up my mind to do a thing, I do it. But, Jim. Come on, bud. Put those books away. You too, Kathy. Holy cow, Dad. Jim, let's be sensible. You're not going to start building a room this very second, are you? No, but I'm going to clear the decks. We're going to cart all that junk out of the attic so I can lay out my plans. Oh, dear. Father, you can't expect me to go up there. Why not? In an evening gown? You'll be the best dressed junk mover in town. Let's go. I still think... Honey, will you please trust me just this once? All right, bud. Kathy? This is going to be fun, isn't it, Daddy? Come along, Betty. Jumping creepers. What does he mean, junk? I didn't see any junk in the attic. Jim, are you really serious about this attic business? Of course I'm serious. I don't know why it couldn't wait another day. It's waited long enough, and so have I. After all, I do a lot of work at home and I need a place where I can be alone to figure out things. You certainly can't call my stuff junk. It's practically invaluable. All right, bud. Open the door. Yes, sir. Jim, I just thought of something. Where do we put the things we take out of the attic? It's very simple, honey. We, uh... Well, we'll find someplace. I think it's going to be quite a problem. It isn't going to be a problem at all. We'll just throw most of it away. My pogo stick! So that's where it was. Should have thrown it all away years ago. Look at it. Broken furniture, old boxes, pieces of... Where did that come from? You mean the metal? That's valuable, Dad. Did you cart all that junk up here? It isn't junk, it's magnesium. Look at this. A three-foot pile of broken records. They aren't all broken, Father. They've got to go. But they're collector's items. Betty. Some of them go as far back as 1946. Get rid of them. Jumping creepers. Now, what's this? Broken toys. Dolls with their heads bashed in. I don't have to get rid of them. Do I, Daddy? Please? We're going to get rid of everything. My old toys. From when I was young. Jim. Honey, you're as bad as they are. But if the children feel... Look at this old sewing machine. You were going to give it away 15 years ago. I can't give it to anyone, Jim. It doesn't work. Then why keep it? Because it belonged to my mother. She made my wedding dress on it. And how about this high chair? What earthly reason can we have for a high chair? We've had it a long time. I know, but... Margaret, we can't afford to be sentimental. Aren't there some things we can save? Where? Well... We can probably find some place, Father. If the government saves things, why shouldn't we? Because we don't own places like Texas. We own as one small house. Downstairs? You said it was a big house. It is a big house. It's a big house for some things, but it's small for other things. How can it be big and small? Kathy, I haven't the time to... But you know what I mean, don't you? Hmm? Oh, sure. Good. Then you tell her. Why? I've got to drag out all these heavy boxes and things, so you explain it to her. But why should I? Holy cow. Well... Well, this is a big house for houses, but... Well, you see, a warehouse is bigger, but people don't live in warehouses. They live in houses that are smaller, and for houses that are smaller, ours is bigger. You see? Sure. You don't understand it either. Oh, I guess that takes care of that. Isn't it amazing, Jim? I mean, the things that pile up... That's what I've been telling you. You know, this is going to make a terrific office. I never realized how much space we had up here. I'm still worried about where the children are putting everything. Yes, sir. Box it in with some plywood walls, and it'll be quite a place. Now, let's go downstairs. Jim, didn't you hear me? I said... I know, honey. You're worried about where they're putting everything. Well... Frankly, I don't care, as long as it isn't up here. Jim. Hmm? Just a minute. What? Oh, that. I thought we ought to say that. Jim Anderson. It's just that one thing, honey. And it's very valuable. This monstrosity? Now, wait a minute. That isn't a monstrosity. It's a genuine antique. And naturally, an attic office is exactly the place for a genuine antique hitching post. Honey, I don't intend to use it as a hitching post. That's a comfort. But you certainly don't expect me to get rid of a thing like that. Why not? We're getting rid of my mother's sewing machine. But, Margaret, my great-grandfather got that hitching post right after the Civil War, and the man told him, I suppose Abraham Lincoln hitched his horse to your mother's sewing machine. And I suppose your mother made wedding dresses on that silly-looking hitching post. Margaret, you're losing your temper. I'm not losing my temper. But if my mother's sewing machine goes, so does your grandfather's hitching post. My great-grandfather. Exactly. Dad! Fuck! Keeping a hitching post. Just a second, honey. You did what? We got it all in, father. We don't have to get rid of anything. Wait a minute. What do you mean we don't have to get rid of anything? We put everything in the garage. We don't have to throw anything away. Not even one little thing. There you are, Jim, you see? You mean everything fit into the garage? That's right, Dad. Except one thing. What was that? The car. It looks as though he'll have trouble turning the attic into an office. The way the family is helping him, it certainly is not a sure thing. On the other hand, there are some things you can always be sure about. For example, you can always be sure of rich, truly satisfying flavor every time you fill the cups with Maxwell House coffee. That's why more families buy and enjoy Maxwell House coffee than any other brand at any price. They've found that no other coffee can give them that wonderful good to the last drop flavor. No coffee but Maxwell House. And there's a good reason why that's so. You see, coffee grows all over the world in countless grades and varieties. But on the mountain plateaus of Latin America, there grow a few select extra flavorful varieties. Maxwell House buys more of these fine extra-flavor coffees than anyone else in the world. And our Maxwell House is made first and foremost from these choice coffees. For example, fancy Manizales coffees are selected for fragrant mellowness, superb mellons for extra richness, choice Bucaramangas coffees for fine, full body. And our Maxwell House people with traditional skill blend these superb vintage coffees in just the right proportions to create that world-famous good to the last drop flavor. No other coffee tastes like Maxwell House because no other coffee is made like Maxwell House. The result is truly good coffee you enjoy cup after cup. Maxwell House coffee, the one coffee that's always good to the last drop. By now, we know all about Dems, don't we? We know what they're for, how they're used, and how one beards a lion in his own. Dem, that is. In this case, it's almost a full day later and the lion, Jim Anderson by name, is on the phone, like this. That's right, we've piled a whole mess on the front lawn. All right, there isn't any lawn. It's out on the front snow. Mr. Adams, I don't want you to buy this stuff. I'm giving it to you. There isn't any catch. Just drive your truck up here and take it away. I'm not trying to pull anything. I just want... Look, Mr. Adams, if you aren't interested, I'll give it to another junk antique dealer. Well, that's more like it. Okay, in about an hour? Fine. Goodbye, Mr. Adams. How do you like that? Now you can't even give the stuff away. What did Mr. Adams say, dear? I don't know what's gotten into people. Just because you want to give them something for nothing, they immediately get suspicious. Isn't Mr. Adams coming? Oh, he's coming all right, but he didn't sound very happy about it. I think he was doing us a big favor. Isn't he? Of course not. Some of that stuff is very valuable. Like Abraham Lincoln's hitching post. It wasn't Abraham Lincoln's. It was my great-grandfathers. And it's certainly worth a lot more than a busted... Margaret, does the sewing machine mean that much to you? It isn't a question of what it means, Jim. It's just that... Well, we've had it for so long. But you don't even look at it from the end of the year to the other. I know, but... I suppose I am being rather foolish. I wouldn't say that. Look, if you really want to keep it... No, no, you're right. It's just an old sewing machine. We might just as well get rid of it. Honey, we'll find a place for it somewhere in the garage or the basement. Jim, let's not argue about it. We're getting rid of the sewing machine, and that's that. Okay, that's the way you want it. And we're also getting rid of your grandfather's hitching post. Fine. Dad! All the ridiculous things to hang on to. Dad! But we're not hanging on to it. I told you. Dad's calling you. But I told you... We're in here, bud. A hitching post. Margaret, for the love of Pete, if you want to keep the sewing machine, keep it. I wouldn't have it as a gift. Oh, I don't know. Say, Dad, you better come outside. Is Mr. Adams here already? No, but there's a whole crowd of people. There is. What do they want? Everybody wants to buy something. Bud. They do, Mom, honest. Well, we'd better see about this. Let's go, bud. Bud, you were told to watch our things, not sell them. I didn't sell anything, Mom. It was Kathy. You mean she's already sold something? Sure. She sold three of those beat-up dollars for 80 cents. Jim, isn't that awful? Here's your coat, honey. Thank you, dear. But I told you distinctly. But I didn't do it, Dad. It was Kathy. That's right. Blame it on a poor, innocent little... Holy jumping, Kathy. Look at the mob. Oh, dear. What are the neighbors going to think? Kathy? Hi, Daddy. Father, hurry, please. Kathy, what on earth are you doing? I'm selling food, Mother. You've got to stop her. It's awful. It isn't either awful. It's fun. Now, just a minute, Kathy. Nobody told you you could sell anything. I only sold my own stuff. I know, but... I told him you'd sell the rest of it. Kathy. You see, I didn't have anything to do with it. We'll never be able to look anyone in the face again. Why not? Jim, you've got to do something. Like what? The lady over there says she'll pay $2 for Mommy's sewing machine. She will? Jim Anderson. Now, wait a minute, honey. Let's be practical about it. I don't mind giving my mother's sewing machine away, but selling it for $2. Margaret is going to cost at least $75 to fix up that room, and if we can get part of it this way... Jim, I think you really would. Well, why not? Father! There's nothing disgraceful about it. Is there? I don't think so. It's the most disgraceful thing I've ever heard of. But why? It's our stuff. Why shouldn't we sell it? Mr. Anderson. People sell things every day. Not in their front yards, they don't. Mr. Anderson, I understand that adorable sewing machine is for sale. Well... It doesn't work. Of course not. That's what makes it so charming. I'll give you $2 for it. Not so fast, Irene. Don't forget, I saw it first. Look, I think we'd better... I'll give you $2.5. $3. Callee! At $42. Never mind. Margaret. It's my mother's sewing machine, and if I want to bid $5, I'm going to. But, honey, you... $5.5. $6. Margaret, if you'll... $6.5. Well, I'm sorry, folks, but it looks like this sewing machine isn't for sale. I guess we took care of that. But here's a genuine antique hitching post. Would anybody be interested in... Excuse me, Jim. What? Betty, help me carry the sewing machine back to the attic like a good girl. It'll be a pleasure. Margaret, you don't have to do that. You sell your little hitching post and don't bother about us. But... We'll get along fine. Won't be, Betty. You sure will. Well... How about the high chair, mister? Hmm? Oh, all right. The high chair. Pull it over here, bud. Okay, dad. Now, here's a high chair you won't see very often. It's all wood in the yard wide. It belongs to that exotic period known as Early Grand Rapids. What am I offered? $0.40. $0.40? Why, the gravy stains alone are worth that. Will someone start it off with a dollar? $0.50. Do I hear a dollar? Will someone make it a dollar? $0.55. Mildred, you don't have any use for a high chair. $0.60. Well, neither do you. $0.65. I'll make it a dollar if you throw in a baby. Ladies and gentlemen, there's one thing you seem to forget. This high chair was occupied by three of the finest babies in the entire city of Springfield. You aren't buying merely a high chair. You're buying a wealth of happy memories of happy hours and... I'll make it a dollar without the baby. But... Yes, Dad? Take the high chair into the house. But the man said... Take it inside. Okay. But he said he'd give a dollar. Is that all a high chair? I am sorry, folks, but the high chair isn't for sale either. This is the screwiest auction I ever went to. Daddy? What is it, kitten? I was doing better before you got here. I know, but we'll do all right. Now, how about this hitching post, folks? It's genuine antique and probably the only one of its kind in existence today. Mr. Anderson, are you going to sell that bassinet? Of course, we're going to sell everything, but you wouldn't be interested in that. The whole bottom's coming out. I'll give you $0.40. $0.45. $0.50. $0.52 and a half. But it isn't worth anything. We only kept it because... Cathy. Yes, Daddy? Take the bassinet into the house. But the man bid $0.52 and a half cents. I'll make it $0.53. Go ahead, Cathy. It isn't for sale. Gee whiz. All of a sudden, nobody wants to sell anything. Look, mister, is anything for sale? Of course. Now, here's one of the finest hitching posts you'll ever see. Hitching posts. It's hand wrought iron and dates back to the Civil War. Now, what am I offered? $0.40. Hold on now. This isn't a laughing matter. It's a piece of genuine Americana. Abraham Lincoln tied his horse to this hitching post, and that alone ought to make it worth... Who started off with $5? $0.45. Well, well, well. What seems to be going on here? Hello, officer. We're just selling a few little things, that's all. I see. Cleaning out the attic, huh? That's the idea. So far, he's taken half the things back inside. Well, we did take back a few things. Say, that's a fine-looking hitching post. Is it for sale? It's for sale right now. Will someone give me $5? I will. You will? Yeah, that's right. I don't know why, but I've always wanted a hitching post like that out in front of my house. Okay, you just bought... $5.40. I'm sorry, but I just told the officer... $5.50. Mildred, what on earth are you going to do with the hitching post? How do I know? $6. $6.50. Mildred, really? Well, I've got just as much right to own a hitching post as you have. $7. Well, you just said $6.50. Well, I said $7. $7.40. I'll make it $10. $10? That's right. Officer, you just bought yourself a hitching post. Oh, come on, Irene. Let's get out of here. Yeah, we might as well. I've never seen such partiality. I suppose hitching posts are too good for the common people. $0.40 for the common people. No, but it looks to me like I've driven all your customers away. Well, that's all right. I guess this is a little out of my line anyway. At least you got rid of the hitching post, didn't you, Mr... Anderson, James Anderson, Sr. Thank you. Could I trouble you for your address? Well, it's $6.07, Maple, but... Fine. Now, if you just sign here. Sign? If you don't mind. Oh, you mean a receipt for the hitching post? No, not exactly. It's more in the nature of official business. Official? I don't want you to think this is my idea, Mr. Anderson. I probably feel worse about it than you do. About what? I wish I didn't have to do things like this, but after all, I'm only a public servant, and if you just sign here, please. Officer, will you tell me one thing? I'll be happy to if I can. What did I do? What I thought you knew. There's a $50 fine for running a public auction without a license. Oh, no. A truly good cup of coffee. Now, that's a pleasure most of us look forward to day after day. And to most Americans, rich, truly good coffee means Maxwell House coffee. Bought and enjoyed by more people than any other brand at any price. You see, no other coffee has the fragrant, heartwarming flavor of our Maxwell House coffee. Temptingly good to the last drop flavor you enjoy cup after cup. Believe me, when you taste that satisfying goodness, you'll say Maxwell House is your coffee. Then if you'll just count all the downright good cups you get from each pound, you'll say it's Maxwell House for value too. At your grocers then, look for the big white cup and drop on the familiar blue tin of Maxwell House, the one coffee that's always good to the last drop. A few days have gone by and once more we find ourselves in the Anderson Dam. It's the same cozy spot, warm and friendly and brimming over with happiness. And people too, like this. Six gazettas, 35 times. Six gazettas, 36, 6 times. Six gazettas. Cathy, will you please stop that? I have to learn my gazettas, don't I? Cathy. Yes, Daddy? Learn them quietly. Yes, Daddy. Dad. Let's all do everything quietly. Dad. Let's see if we can't behave like an average normal family full of human beings. Just once. Dad. Yes, but... Where's the capital of... Oh. What? I, uh, never mind, Dad. I'll look it up. Fine. Jim, did you see this article? Which article, honey? On the other side of the one you were reading the other night. It says, turn that extra space into a sewing room. And you know the way they explain it? It seems like an excellent idea. It's very simple too. All you have to do is... Jim, aren't you... Betty, what happened to your father? I don't know, Mother. He was here a second ago. That's odd. I could have sworn. Jim, where are you, dear? Jim, I'd like you to read this. Jim! Hey, what's your hurry? We're having coconut cream pie for supper. Your wife must love you to go to all that work. Why, it's no work with jello, coconut cream pudding and pie filling. You mean it? Sure. With a new jello, coconut cream pudding and pie filling, you just add milk and bring to a boil. Say, I'm going to get some for my wife. You get some, too. Jello, coconut cream pudding and pie filling for red letter desserts. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson with Roy Vargy in the Maxwell House Orchestra. In our cast, Baroda Williams as Betty, Gene Vanderpile, Ted Donaldson, Norma Gene Nilsen, Isabel Jewell, Virginia Agnello, Will Wright, and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee, always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James.