 It was a week before Christmas and all through the house a creature was stirring and boy. What a rat This is another in the adventures of America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator Johnny dollar starring Charles Russell At insurance investigation Johnny dollars only an expert at making out his expense account He's an absolute genius expense account submitted by special investigator Johnny dollar To home office industrial insurers incorporated Hartford, Connecticut attention, mr. Eben Stevens general manager The following is an accounting of my expenditures during investigation of small-time swindles of big-time department stores Or how I played Santa Claus and almost got left holding the sack Or going for a sleigh ride without benefit of snow can be tough sledding Friends account item one One dollar tip to messenger who delivered this assignment writing by hand to my apartment Thanks, Mr. Dollar you have never been known as a fast man with a buck mr. Stevens And I must say your note to me also mark you in my mind as an economist with words dear dollar Our client the association of department stores of Greater Manhattan has requested help on the following problem A young man has been making the rounds of New York department stores during the current Christmas rush Using his equipment an official looking sales book He goes to a busy department makes a quick sale on some large item writes it up in his furious sales book takes the customer's cash And disappears and closed fine varying descriptions as furnished by victims to date and Check for your usual retainer fee Please put a stop to this nefarious practice at once signed even Stevens general manager Account item two $6 and 21 cents train fare Hartford to New York next morning at 703 on the bankers special a Train very cleverly named that because 75% of its load is made up of bankers. I Sat among them in a parlor car watching them limbering up for the day's chores Slowly shaking their heads from side to side and softly whispering. No We arrived at Grand Central at 920 the bankers got off and headed for their granite vaults I got off and headed to face my stone wall Spence account item three 4 bits cab fare to offices of the association of department stores of Greater Manhattan There things got brighter right away. Her name was Judy Whitehall Boy, how she's been missed by the scouts for the Copacabana. I'll never know I Have been assigned to help you all I can miss a dollar. What would you like to know first your home phone number? Oh, well, maybe we better wait until later for that How many stores are there in your association miss Whitehall? We have a hundred and twenty members stores Great, you know in one department store on the kind of a guy that can't find a glove department And now I've got a hundred and twenty stores in which to find someone I don't even know well We do have the man's description. Yeah, as a matter of fact, we have a lot of descriptions all slightly different and the regular store Detectives are all on the look house like looking for a noodle in the spaghetti and all the sales personnel have been worn It's beautiful What's beautiful your face? Really miss the dollar after all. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes, I know business Well before I start maybe you better give me a letter of an identification I spent all day mosing around deployment stores without buying anything I can stand a good chance of getting picked up as a shoplifter right away Hello, this is miss Whitehall. Oh Yes, Mr. Sandler Oh my that's terrible My goodness, that's awful Good gracious, that's worse. Well, well the insurance investigators here right now, mr. Sanders. We'll be right over What's so terrible with that man the one we're looking for he was in the Miller store making a phony fail in the camera department Oh, you also said it was awful It was a little girl picked up a camera and snapped his picture and the man tried to take it away from when the girl held And then her mother screams and what made it worse? Well a store detective came running and the man shot him Then he grabbed the little girl camera and all and it ran off. They called the police really I can't imagine why The mob scene in the Miller store would have made the Notre Dame backfield hot or uncle Christmas neckties were selling like hotcakes only compared to most of the ties a hotcake would look better on you The camera department was on the mezzanine and the store manager. Mr. Sanders was on a rampage. Why doesn't somebody do something? Why can't they find him? I've got men posted on every door. He's in this store somewhere and oh miss Whitehall needs about time Mr. Dollar from the insurance company. Well, I don't know what you can do darling I've already got 20 police when running all over the store. It's absolutely ridiculous for phosphorus and fantastic That's what it is also amazing Now tell me mr. Santa about that little girl who picked up the camera and snapped the culprits picture Did they find her yet? They certainly did in the rug department She'd been shoved in the middle of a pile of 9 by 12 oriental on sale at a hundred and twenty-three fifty She was scared but not her the girl was found without the camera I suppose naturally but the camera wouldn't do us any good After all, I'm sure the camera didn't have any film in it. They never do women display Well, how about the store detecting the one who got shot in the hospital miss hall They'll call me here as soon as they find out how badly he's been hurt Well, look getting back to that kid was she able to give you a good description of the guy who grabbed her She hasn't stopped crying long enough. How about our mother neither is she Where are they now that in my office? That's why I'm staying right here Where is your office? I'm the aid floor right next to the credit office Well, this may be the first time I ever got past the credit office. Come on, Judy Come on, blow your nose Then not be a brave little girl. Come on now, Bobby All you have to do is tell us what that bad man looked like We'll get him and then we'll fix it. Come on. Okay, Bobby. Okay. Okay. Just a minute Now Oh, Judy. Yes, Johnny looks like it's a child psychologist. I'm nothing At this point, I feel like telling little bobby to go out and play with some old razor blades Got any suggestions? Well, it is almost christmas. Yeah And one thing little girls don't want to do at christmas is getting wrong with santa claus Ah, gotcha. Good gal. Where do we find santa claus in the toy department on Well, give me about five minutes to explain things to santa and then bring bobby down Oh, bobby You know what happens to little girls who make santa claus mad at them What happened? They don't get to look at television before they go to bed. I mean at christmas. What happened? They don't get any toys all they get is old sweaters and underwear Well, listen, bobby This guy santa happens to be a good friend of mine. What do you think of that? Tell him I want an air rifle He would okay. Okay. I'll even fix it so you can tell him yourself. How's that? Just fine. Ah, good girl Hey, where'd you get that blood on your coat? You got a cut? No, okay, julie. Here I go Oh, and uh on the way down maybe you better stop by the dog supply department to buy little bobby a muzzle If the kid doesn't like his looks old saint nick may get nick Department stores should have some kind of a congressional medal for salespeople who work in the toy department just before christmas I took the elevator down to five and when that door slid open Stepping into dotty sinferno junior grade First I got on a house phone and called santa who was still in the camera department He had word from the hospital the store detective had died without regaining consciousness I was no longer trying to catch a cheap swindler. I was now out to swap blood with a dirty murderer A line of fidgety kids led me to santa claus sitting benignly on his throne Had a short talk with him and a short wait for judy and little bobby Okay, santa now we've got to make her talk that that is you've got to all right though All right now kiddies you'll have to wait for a moment We have a special little visitor coming to see me. Hello, johnny. How's that? Yeah, all set Okay, bobby ma girl. Now just let me give you a voice different to santa's laugh He wants to ask you a few questions I want an air rifle. Now you'll be a good little girl and answer all santa's nice questions and you'll get it When I'm where I like to give it to you I'll be gone There we are honey. Oh, tell me what do you want for christmas? I want an air rifle Well, we'll see what we can do about that. Tell me. Have you been a good little girl? Yes, sir Well, first we'll just have to look up your name and my little black book and make sure Hmm pretty good all but one little thing what I do. I didn't do nothing. Well, that's just it You you see bobby I have a no care that today some people asked you what a certain man looked like and you wouldn't tell them Is that right? Well, bobby, maybe you and I had better talk this over if you won't do something for us A little bobby's description of the murderer wasn't the greatest by any means But it was better than none of all with which we had been furnished by the personnel in the camera department and the kid's mother We took the girl to the advertising department or an artist made a sketch Armed with the drawing we made a tour of the store exits showing it to the police posted on every door Giving them a rough idea what to look for A medium build pudgy man with black hair And when they came across such a character, he was to be issued an invitation to show his hands If he was sporting bobby's teeth marks, then they'd really know Well, this chore out of the way miss white hole And I sank our teeth in a pair of sandwiches in the tearoom the shoppers delight sandwich to be exact Cream cheese walnuts watercress and pineapple on a whole wheat bread We found the store manager sandler back in his office He too was eating but he was on a diet of straight fingernails Oh terrible terrible terrible that's what it is now. Don't worry, mr. Sandler. He'll be caught as a swindler He might have gone on for years But as a murderer it won't be long believe me. Oh what to do what to do what to do Well, I've got several ideas and the first is to get out of your office and start at the top of the store and work my way down They're already doing that another sign of him. Well, I once found a mouse and a halo so be not disencouraged And a pretty little mouse you want. Oh dear Oh, please try to relax mr. Sandler everybody's doing your best Yes, I'm sure they are it's just that I Hello, yes, it's mr. Sandler Oh no Where? How long has he been there? Hello I'll be right down What's the matter now? About an hour and a half ago our store Sandiclaw stepped out in the employee's restroom for a smoke He was slugged from behind when he came to he was all tied up in a broom closet And somebody has stolen his sandiclaw suit. They just found him about an hour and a half ago Judy, you know what that means? Oh no Oh, yes 45 minutes ago when little bobby was giving Santa Claus the murderous description He was giving it to the murderer himself. Oh gracious instead of a kid's air rifle It could have gotten us a revolver size 38 In just a moment we will return to the second act of johnny dollar But first CBS is going to bring you one of the biggest presents you ever received from show business tomorrow afternoon christmas day For a full hour on the entire cbs network You're going to get all the comedy all the laughs and one of the greatest broadway and hollywood hits of recent years The man who came to dinner And the man who came will be played by none other than jack benny plus charles boy Jean kelly dorthy maguire greg re peck and broslyn brussel plus henry fonda and john garfield as narrators You'll hear them all on cbs's special holiday hour tomorrow afternoon jack benny playing the man who came to dinner and breaking a leg had to stay on and on and on Now with our star charles russell we return to the second act of yours truly johnny dollar There's no place like a crowded department store for a fresh made murderer to be on the loose Especially one that's playing santa claus for a lot of rosy cheek little nippers Back to the toy department But when I got there the cupboard was bare Our lethal saint nick had decided to give up his red flannel and white whisker hiding place We found the empty suit in a storeroom tossed high on a stack of baby buggies That man's a murderer What are you going to do? What am I going to do now? Listen, judy by now? There must be 87 cops sifting through this store looking for that guy They've got two cops on every door now all i'm going to do is help them look This is one of those everybody's problems. You're right. I guess i'm just getting excited Well, that's you have a right to do come on. Let's get out of here. I've got an idea. All right, johnny Oh, mr. dollars. Thank goodness. I found you. Mr. sandler wants you right away down on three An old lady has just been shot in junior mrs. Lingerie Serves all right for not acting a rage. Let's go judy Right over here dollar. All right. Let him through please let him Lady please stand back now Well, dollar congratulations Before this store was only going to see that company of yours for one million dollars Considering what this shooting will do to our reputation. I'm going to make that five million. Mr. sandler keep your powder dry First of all, it's not my company and second you can't sue them for something they didn't do And third you'd better get this poor old gal to a hospital How badly has she heard and how did it happen the doctors on his way and we've sent for an ambulance This woman was lost out on the back stairway looking for the lady's room that maniacs are coming toward him and ran down the stairs firing Over his shoulder. The bullet just seems to have grazed her left side. Um pretty lucky Where are the police? They're searching all over the store dollar. What are we going to do? This is terrible for business Well, I suspect at any minute now the cops will be telling you to do something is going to be even worse for business Close the store. Well close the store Why we're staying open late tonight is the last minute rush I'm just telling you what I think I think the cops will double the lookouts on all the doors and make you close the store and they can go to work We lose thousands of dollars. They can't make me close the store. If they open you might lose a few more customers the hard way Where's that doctor? He'll be here any minute Yes, what is it? Well, they called up from the sporting goods in the basement That man has been down there and held them up and he took four guns and six boxes of ammunition six boxes. Oh my What's this going to do to our store? You're not careful. It's going to turn your store into the world's largest shooting gallery with live targets You know what I suggest mr. Sandler what what tell me what don't wait for the police to tell you close the store Sandler didn't like it and neither did the customers as they filed out of the store Past the scrutiny of the police officers still clutching their unfinished Christmas shopping lists The process was slow and while the customers were leaving the clerks finished up their business Put the white shrouds over their counters and they too filed out into the early night The boys in blue watching the doors came up with several men answering the general description of our friend with a loose trigger finger But none of them had little bobby's teeth marks on his hands That made it a 50 50 chance that mr. Killer was still in the building There's nothing more eerie than a department store at the closing And it's white sheets the whole joint seemed to be playing ghost I sent Judy over to a steakhouse on third avenue told her to wait And I had sandler get me a gun from the sporting goods department But that lonely scared feeling there's no medicine that quite takes the place of a piece of cool steel in your little hot hand The sergeant in charge of the police detail posted men outside all exits The rest he took up to the roof with them They were going to run the whole store through their burly blue sieve floor by floor counter by counter inch by inch Sandler stayed with me down the first floor Just for fun. I thought I would start working my way up Donald don't you think we should get out of here and leave this to the police? I have several goosebumps to agree with you mr. Sandler, but uh, I have a very dangerous habit of trying to earn my money Oh, this is terrible Look every counter and post in this store is just the kind of hiding place a sniper would pray for I get paid for this kind of work. You don't I want you to go out for a nice safe walk It's my duty to stay here I'm sticking with you. Okay, but remember two of us gave him twice as much to shoot at I had to go and open my big mouth get out Getting down on that floor could have been committing suicide in itself The killer's bullet had crashed into a showcase A sea of broken glass is a risky place to practice diving I mean to swim out of it was twice as bad, but that's what I had to do. Oh, mr. Sandler, keep your head down. There are your face in the glass, but keep your head down. Here's daughter Tell you what to do anything, but get me out of here. I have a wife and three kids Well, if you'll do what I tell you to do your wife will go on having a husband and your kids will still have a father Yes, yes, just just killed me. I don't know exactly where that shot came from But from the looks of this glass it must have been from behind Now I'm gonna leave you and crawl over near those elevators While I'm on my way you rattle around this glass. Let him hear where you are Give me about two minutes and then do something to draw us fire What do I do do anything but one thing don't stand up I think of something better, but don't take any chances. No, no, but what are you going to do take some chances Once I was on my way Sandler went to work with a vengeance I could hear him thrashing around in that glass like he was trying to corner the band aid market I made it over the elevators scooting flat along the floor till I hit a car with an open door and slithered inside Behind the protection of the elevators front wall. I stood up Peered over at the edge of the door and waited for Santa to make the move that would draw the murderer's fire I must say Santa was dead game the way he made his move He also stood a good chance of becoming plain dead First he stopped wiggling around on his bed of glass and then he just stood straight up The shot missed but my eyesight didn't the killer was shooting from high up behind a pole He was standing up on a glass showcase hoping for a better view And it didn't take me long to decide to give him a better view of the inside of that glass showcase I started deliberately shooting his foothold out from under him He was bleeding beautifully when I started to run straight for the back of the store firing as he ran As one last souvenir he threw his empty gun over his shoulder at me People living glass houses shouldn't throw guns. I decided to join the track team and one on the chase Back out of the main floor For the employee's entrance out for the dimly lit shipping department And it's loading dock filled with packages ready for shipment. I could hear him moving around among them Okay, get your hands up and come out. I'm giving you a chance, but it's not going to last long Get moving. I don't need your Okay, so you want to play I think I'll give you a couple of yuletide presents early and I'm sure nobody'll mind if I open your head before Christmas My hot-headed friend was hiding behind a high pile of wooden boxes ready for shipping I grabbed a heavy empty dolly gave it a flying start Send it crashing into the bottom box of the pile Beautiful the biggest crash since 29 Tough fight, but mom I don't think I won at best. It was a draw About the 15th time I belted him He belted me right back Okay, then he got his hands on a hammer later to cross the side of my head I got the hammer did the same for him I made a hole in one A man-sized packing case flying at the foot of the packing bench I was getting weak dizzy I had to hold him One thing to do Top of case flying right there Already nails part way in Put it on right right over from nail it on Good, then everything went white Corny is this may sound. Where am I? You're in the hospital johnny dolly, but don't worry. It's only a slight incushing. They brought you here last night I suppose I have a hammer shaped hole in my head. No, no darling. It hardly shows How could these bandages covering it up? Well, at least I got them. You what dear? I got him the killer Oh, no, dear. You couldn't have they're still looking for him. Oh, oh no. Oh my gosh What time is it? Good in the morning. I gotta get out of here. Why johnny johnny, please Johnny, you're not supposed to get out and get away after all my trouble Somebody was gonna need a doctor Judy and I hit the department store on 12th and it's flat one minute later I was in the shipping department talking to the head man. No, no, mr. Dollar just calm down Everything's gonna be all right Now exactly what is it you want to know that big packing case the one that was lying right here in front of the bench last night Where is it? Oh, uh, the great big one. Yes, the great big one the one about eight feet long and three feet wide Yes, the one about eight feet long and three feet wide. Well, there was something very peculiar about that case You're telling me where is it? Well, this morning we came to work the boys saw it all packed up So they put it on the truck for upper new york state. Oh, no Oh, indeed they did But what was peculiar about it even though they found it all ready to go Later on they found all the merchandise that was supposed to go in it lying around loose It had never really been packed well then quick The least you can do is tell me where it went. Well now that I can do that box was the boss's big annual Charity shipment of goods that particular box is on its way to some of the Unfortunates who'll be spending this Christmas away from home. All right. So where is it? By now it should be at the new york state prison up in arsoning Expense account item five $12.80 Dinner check at p.a. Trose where I had asked mr. Judy Whitehall to wait for me the night before and where I inadvertently stood her up Although how a gal can stand up at the reading $12.80 worth of food more than I just figured out Um, it's the uh expense account item six $10 medical supplies for those poor cbs sound men Burn Surrey and billy ghoul who had a break all that glass during the show Expense account total $511 and uh 50 cents You may think this amount is a little high, but uh, isn't everybody at this time of the year Uh signed yours um truly Johnny dollar Scripted by paul dudley and gildow Feature in the cast were jay novello georgia ellis marlene aims parley bear paul duboff and conny crowder The special music is written and conducted by leith stevens Your announcer is bob stevens. Be sure to be with us at this same time next week When another unusual expense account is handed in by yours truly johnny dollar Pleasant gentlemen of music born Monroe and gene autry will be around with special christmas music tonight on cbs On his caravan bond will feature a medley of christmas carols And you'll hear the maestro and his band featuring vaughan's new song success the tolly old man in the bright red suit Gene autry will bring you christmas music and the christmas eve story western style Be sure to hear these two saturday night cbs stars Vaughan Monroe and gene autry on most of the same cbs station Now stay tuned for vaughan Monroe's caravan which follows on most of the same station This is cbs where yours truly johnny dollar meets adventure every saturday night the columbia broadcasting system