 The video you're about to watch was filmed just before the Shelter in Place guidelines and it is sponsored by Cottonelle who I want to give a big thank you to. Now by now many of you are aware that there is a toilet paper and flushable wipe shortage in many different cities and Cottonelle brand wants to let you know that they are working tirelessly to get their products back on the shelves ASAP. Now one of the good things that's come out of these extremely strange times is that many people are more focused than ever on self-care be that mentally or physically and that includes down their care. My go-to after sex ritual is to suggest we take a shower together. Usually because I have such a high sex drive I want round two maybe round three. I like to stay butt naked and lay in my bed, drink my water, put on a movie and then I go to the bed and wash off my partner. Sometimes it's quite interesting seeing the reaction especially if it's casual. So my partner and I started dripping hot candle wax on different parts of my skin in order to reconnect me to my physical self. I'm a poet I'm a writer so oftentimes I'll just get on my phone and start going off or on my notebook might be about the sex probably isn't going to be about the sex. Lay in bed watch a tv show watch a movie or if we have plans that day we will get up take a shower together get dressed together. Usually you take that time kind of ask for a performance review you know. I like cuddles and I like to remain connected so if you think you're going anywhere you got another thing coming. What up lovers and friends we're talking about what people do after sex today and to help me with this conversation I want to introduce you to my sponsor of this video Cottonelle. Cottonelle wants you to focus on your down there care all of the time but I think it's especially important to make an emphasis on down their care when it comes to pre and post sex and that is where Cottonelle's toilet paper and their incredible flushable wipes can come in handy. Now whenever I'm talking about healthy sex I'm always discussing three different components. Number one is your birth control methods that you are in control of your family planning. Next it's about a barrier method to ensure that you are protecting yourself from STDs and finally I'm talking about hygiene because you want to make sure the only thing that remains after sex is good vibes. In addition in this video I want to talk about some other parts of sex that rarely get highlighted. First and foremost is your hygiene routine. Next I want to talk about your cravings and rituals after sex and finally what do you do if you and your partner have totally different post sex needs. If you've been watching this channel for a while you might recall in a previous video I discussed my post sex routine in detail. When we are done we sit in that after sex glow and we look at each other and we say I love you and we just experience and feel we let our heart rates come down and let our sweat dry for approximately 10 seconds and then we get up. Like this has been our thing since the jump and I actually think Jared's the one who introduced this to me. We get up and we go to the bathroom together immediately after sex again maybe like roughly like 30 seconds afterwards like once all the pulsing is finished we're like that was great let's go. So I go to the toilet he goes to the sink. So to recap for me after sex is done I get my butt up I go straight to the bathroom I pee I wipe up with toilet paper then I move over to the sink. Now there are some occasions that I just splash with warm water then I pat dry with a towel but when I really want to be thorough I use a flushable wipe. Now why I love cotton nails so much is that it is made from 97% purified water. When it comes to your genitals you don't need a lot of harsh cleaning agents or fragrances truly what you need to do is ensure you are getting in between every single crease and crevice I use one wipe for the front one wipe for the back and that will do the trick because your genitals are a self-cleaning system all you're doing is removing any bacteria that might have been introduced to the area. Now if you are not convinced and you have yet to establish for yourself a post-sex hygiene routine I want to introduce you to somebody who will really drill the point home. Dr. Donica Moore is an OBGYN and physician she is my go-to expert whenever I need accurate advice on sexual health and she is going to explain how hygiene and sexual health have a very strong relationship. We talk a lot about safe sex but not enough about clean sex. Yes sex is messy and it can be as dirty as you want but how should you clean up afterwards? Here's some do's and don'ts to consider. First do have a box of tissues or even a roll of toilet paper nearby to wipe up when you're finished front to back ladies especially if there's a wet spot. Women do get up to urinate afterwards if you don't this will help you flush bacteria away from your urethra the p-hole and enable you to wipe up any vaginal wetness more effectively thus reducing your risk of vaginal and urinary tract infections. Of course condoms are famous for reducing your risk of sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancy but a bonus benefit is that they make it much easier to clean up afterwards. Do you need to shower afterwards? That's completely a personal preference and not necessary if you showered before. Don't douche for any reason however unless your doctor's instructed you to for a specific reason. In general the vagina is a self-cleaning organ and does not like any chemicals or heart stones. I just want to say a massive thank you to Dr. Donica Moore for always giving such accurate and approachable advice when it comes to sexual health. One more point that I want to make on why I want you to consider using Cottonelle's toilet paper plus flushable wipes in your down there care routine. Cottonelle's toilet paper plus flushable wipes are built strong plus they have cleaning ripples which remove more in just one wipe per sheet versus the leading value brand. These products paired together can be extremely helpful with post sex cleanup to remove bacteria or hair that may have been introduced to the area. So what does your body want to do after sex? Do you want to go to sleep? Do you feel energized? Are you mad hungry? Do you feel disinterested in contact? Are you craving cuddling? The truth of the matter is it's different for every single person. Now Masters and Johnson has a sexual response model and the sexual response model has a four prong system that begins with arousal and it ends with resolution and resolution is what your body is doing as it returns to normal function. So while you are having sex your adrenaline is pumping, your heart is racing, you've got blood flowing to your genital area, you've got oxytocin in the mix, you've got dopamine in the mix and then all of a sudden everything starts to come down. Now during that come down phase some people experience a wave of euphoria, other people experience a wave of sadness. There really is no right or wrong way for your body to respond to this massive physiological adjustment. Now what the right way is though is listening to what works for you and in addition being curious about what works best for your partner and not judging them if it doesn't align with your own. Now a lot of people have very different needs. Sometimes I cry after sex. It has nothing to do with feeling sad, nothing to do with anything. It's just an emotional response that happens that's kind of inexplicable and I've stopped putting so much judgment on it for myself. I am also one of the people who do not feel tired after sex. I know a lot of people use self-pleasure or use sex as a way to get them to bed quicker. For me it'll actually keep me up for about an hour to an hour and a half longer. That is why it's important to really assess what does your body do during the resolution phase and figuring out a way to care for yourself afterwards. Alright so what do you do if you and your partner have totally different after sex needs? You would be surprised how often I get this question in my DMs from people who are heartbroken or confused by the fact that their partner responds after sex in a very different way than they do. I think a really really big cure for this confusion is self-understanding. When you know what works for you and you can identify how good it feels when others respect and prioritize your resolution needs, that's when you can give others the exact same courtesy. It's kind of the same thing as love languages. You begin to really respect other people when you know how good it feels when people respect yours. A lot of people's resolution phase or after sex rituals have nothing to do with their feelings towards you. It truly is a personal thing and it accommodates for their personal needs. For example in my relationship after sex, like I said, I can tend to get very emotional and I definitely crave intimacy. My partner in the other hand runs hot. They are hot. They don't want to be touched in that moment and so the way that we manage this gap is we prioritize hygiene right after. So no matter what, as soon as we have established the play is done, we both get up and go to the bathroom and we take care of ourselves as individuals. They do their own after sex hygiene routine. I do mine. Then we'll go to the kitchen, get water, snacks, whatever we need and we both know eventually the goal is to meet back in the bedroom for the after sex intimacy that I require. That way they're not being smothered and I'm not being left out in the cold. A really important thing to note as well too is that your after sex rituals really should be mindful of the style of relationship that you're in. For example, if you are in a friends with benefits or a no strings attached sexual relationship after sex cuddling, although it might be part of your normal resolution, may not be the best idea because that is the time where a lot of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, is still circulating in the body. So after sex cuddling can actually make you feel more attached to someone that you well know you don't want to be attached with. Now when it comes to negotiating with your partner, this is where having a conversation can come in handy. Having a conversation that is led by curiosity, not by expectation can make all the difference in the world because that way you can understand and not personalize what the other person's after sex needs are. So lead it with things like after sex, I get really hungry. What do you feel like or after sex? I've noticed that you really crave intimacy and I value that. But at the same time, I'm also way too hot and uncomfortable. And during that time, I kind of need a little bit of me time to settle before I'm ready to re-engage with somebody. How does that sound for you? By really bringing these conversations to light, no one feels left out in the dark. Now the one area that you should challenge the incompatibility on is in your post sex hygiene routine. If you notice that your partner doesn't like to clean up or get up and prefers just to lay in the post sex aftermath, that is when you can have an educating conversation with them to say, Hey, especially if we're going to be having sex over and over again, it's important that both of us really prioritize that to ensure that again, the only thing that remains after we get down is good vibes only. And educating your partner can also be empowering them with tools. So I love the cotton nails flushable wipes because it comes in a resealable bag just like this. So you can have these right on your nightstand and just give one to your partner. Just say, give a quick little wipe around the area. Make sure you get all in between the folds. Maybe you can even clean them up. That could be a sexy part of your thing. I'm not really quite sure what you're into, but nonetheless, empowering them to prioritize down their care so that your down their care is also prioritized. Thank you so much to Dr. Donica more for taking part in this video. Also everybody else who submitted and who shared their truth. And now it's your turn. Let me know in the comment section below. What is your post sex hygiene routine? Also, do you have any rituals or cravings that you feel comfortable sharing? And speaking of comfort, if you are down to improve your down their care, I want you to consider using cotton nails toilet paper plus their flushable wipes. If you want more information, travel down to the info box below to begin your more confident and refreshing down their care journey. Thank you. Cotton now for sponsoring this video.