 For the safety of your smile use pepsidon twice a day see your dentist twice a year Leaver brothers company presents the pepsidon show my friend Irma created by Cy Howard and Starring Marie Wilson as Irma with Joan Banks as Jane Friendship friendship, just a perfect plan ship when other friendships have been forgot There's will still be hot Stacey and I live with Irma Peterson and believe me. It's a problem. I won't say she's stupid I'll just put it this way. I told her that fish was brain food So for three weeks she's been on a diet of fish fish fish and you know what the result is? She now has the IQ of a sardine But don't get me wrong. I really love her It's just that there are times when well for instance the other day. I sent her to the store for a pound of drift coffee She brought it back in a hot water bottle Well as they say patience is a virtue Peterson and believe me living with Jane Stacy is quite a problem There are things you just can't understand no matter how hard I try to educate her Now for instance the other day she sent me out for a pound of drift coffee And she was so surprised when I brought it back in a hot water bottle She doesn't stop to think that if I carried it in a paper bag it would all leak out before I could get home As they say patience is a virus Different points of view but right now we have a problem in common What is it a complete shortage of that exquisite commodity known as men? Irma cleaned house first She gave Al the air for a new boyfriend, but the new boyfriend is afraid of Al So now neither of them comes around I On the other hand have just quarreled with my guy Richard Rhinelander So here the two of us sit without boyfriends like two old maids Irma what honey don't sit there like the world has come to an end just because you have no boyfriend But you know girls supposed to have a fellow. That's why girls put perfume on themselves The track man that's known as animal instinct What's the difference I'm too miserable to speak Irma your thinking is all wrong Many women have lived rich full lives without men famous women name one. Well, there was a No, she liked children too much. Let me see. Oh I know Florence nightingale. That's different. She had her singing to keep her busy And she's just one no no there are many what about the Joan of Arc. She's in the movies I'm talking about plain working girls girls like me who get lonely at night But we don't have to kill ourselves just because we haven't any men. Oh, Jane. You're such a child Love is the only thing that counts Believe me Irma men aren't the only things in the world a girl can have other interests what for instance Well, there's a there's a there must be something I Certainly we can take up a hobby hobby. Yes, many women take up hobbies Well, do you think you could find one for me? Well sure sure honey. Do you have any idea what you want? Oh, I'm not too particular as long as he's fairly tall and a good dancer Irma I said hobby not hobby Now I want you to face this thing honestly Who has made you cry almost every night? And who always embarrassed you wherever you went? You see what I mean? He gave you two years of misery. Yes, that's right Why are you crying? Oh misery loves company and now I'm not keeping company with anybody Silly you and I have been kicked around a little by the opposite sex and I think we ought to call it quits Show our independence. What do you mean Jane? Well, we'll we'll just busy ourselves with other things We'll forget all about men for a while not even mention men Right Irma Then it's an agreement, right? Let's shake on it man to man No, Irma. We don't even mention the word from now on our lives are centered around our hobbies It's only me professor Kropotkin Janey and Irma my two little busy bees one with her mind on her work and the other with a mind that doesn't work Why professor excuse me a little joke I got stung with Professor you're just the man we want to see Irma and I want to take up a hobby Yes, you have so many you play the violin the Spanish castanets and castanets. I don't play castanets But I've heard you many times. Oh Irma darling that isn't castanets. It's just that when I sit in my room my teeth chatted Professor I'm sick and tired of hearing you complain your room isn't that bad. Oh, no, you've never seen it Why don't you come upstairs right now and see for yourself? Okay, let's go And since we're looking for a hobby we might as well make something useful so like well Maybe Irma and I can knit you a bedspread impossible girls. My bed couldn't stand the extra weight Well here we are girls. This is my room We go in Everybody take two giant steps. Oh, that's child's game. Yes, it's a child's game But if you want to live to be an old lady a better do it There's a hole in the floor Professor I can see your touches here in there. That's a nice painting you have on the wall. That is no painting That's the lady next door Mrs. Horowitz you mind if I draw the curtains. I got company. Thank you Well girls, how do you like it Jenny? Would you mind standing sideways so Irma can come in and look? Come in. I'm It's dark in here. Do you mind if I raise this shade? Stop Irma. Don't pull that. That's the wallpaper Excuse me girls. What kind of a host am I? Let me get you. Oh, no, no, no, thanks I just like a little cold water. Well, that's easy. Open your mouth and pull the cork out of that pipe No, the small cork the big one is for the shower I've never seen a room like this What period is it early English? I think Jenny, are you familiar with the period of the English and the French colonial wars? Yes. Well, this is where they fought So thanks for volunteering girls, but unless your hobby happens to be blasting there is nothing can be done for my wrong We want to help you professor Bless you my darlings But be smart if you girls want a hobby go down to the hobby shop and they will give you a wonderful one Say that's a good idea. Come on Irma More to walk with us professor. No, thank you. Mrs. O'Reilly is coming up and we both have a hobby Oh, what is it? She likes to tell me how young she is and I like to sit and count her chins To the hobby shop and on Thursday night. I sat home and embroidered while Irma busied herself with her hobby stuffing bird skins Around nine o'clock. She said Jane. I think this hobby is too hard for me I think I'm putting too much cotton in this bird skin. I wouldn't say that why it looks exactly like an eagle Do you really think so? Uh-huh, then I'm in trouble. It's supposed to be a sparrow We decided to look for a different hobby But a letter in the mailbox almost broke Irma's determination to forget about men It was from Al that live wire with a loose connection And it read dear chicken roses are red violets are blue Like the elbows in my sleeves. Don't tell me we're through I Write this poetry to you only because my heart is broken and I want you to know that without you I am alone and cold like a dancer without her fan. I Am so desperate. I can't even pick up the phone and say hello Joe So you see chicken. I appeal to you. Don't be so headstrong soft enough think it over Remember we always wanted to have children and if we ain't speaking to each other it will have a very bad psychological effect By the phone to hear what you have to say so watch your language. It's a party line Love when we decided to take up knitting Irma, are you happy could take the place of fellows? Oh, yes. Yes, it's it's a peachy keen Jane I Haven't much will power. How can I make sure I won't weaken? Well, it's easy, honey Whenever you fit your wavering you just say to yourself I am master of my mind and fate for only the weak give in to their desires Oh, that's easy. Let me hear you say it. Um, I need to master my desire because fate gave me a weak mind Just Dismissed the thought of fellows. Oh, I already have I never think of men Do you Jane silly dude way so much time with them? We could have been knitting Yeah, but they're all Irma. Are you sure? Certainly then why are you knitting men socks and socks they can be for a woman with short legs Okay, Jane Jane you don't want to break the agreement about no more fellows. No, no, I I've never been so happy Men aren't really necessary. I Just love to knit one pearl one knit one pearl one Very a trip me Jane Bessie, what is it Jane? You know that fellow you met New Year's Eve at my house Gordon MacLaine Yes, well, he says he'd love to call on you tomorrow night. Are you interested? Oh But there are complications if if you meet me at the beauty parlor in five minutes We can discuss aforementioned M-a-s-c-u-l-i-n-e goodbye M-a-s-c-u-l-i-n-e you're wasting your time Mussolini is dead We're just holding services See you later. Goodbye That one I do in sitting there and looking so gloomy. Oh not to have anything to do with the opposite sex Well, I'm glad to hear it. So many men have said that to me. This telegram came for you Well, let me see. I'd like to see you your old classmate from Minnesota. You have such a wonderful dancer I'd love to see him tomorrow night, but I don't know what about your agreement with Jane. I can't help it I'm star for the company of a man. I'm tired of knitting wool is all right But what good is it if you don't have a man around to pull it over your eyes? To find some way to get Bert up here without letting Jane know it but Jane'll know it's a man After all you'll have to introduce him and say this is Bert Necessarily I may put a ribbon in his hair and say Jane. This is Bertha Gosh, I hope he doesn't have a mustache Run the tip of your tongue over your teeth If you feel a slippery coating you have film on your teeth and you need pepsidon with eryum to remove it For film is worse than you think film collect stains that make your teeth look dull Pepsidon toothpaste removes film makes your teeth look bright film harbors germs that cause unpleasing breath Pepsidon removes film makes your breath fresh and clean film glues acid to your teeth the very acid many dentists agree Is the cause of tooth decay pepsidon toothpaste removes film and the acids it contains film never lets up It forms continually on your teeth. Yes, you have to fight film every day So brush your teeth twice a day with pepsidon toothpaste Because no other toothpaste can duplicate pepsidon's film removing formula No other toothpaste contains eryum or pepsidon's gentle polishing agent. So start now to fight film Brush your teeth twice a day with pepsidon's the toothpaste with an exclusive formula for removing film Beauty parlor feeling miserable. Why? Because I let Betty talk me into meeting Gordon McClain Gee, I I double-crossed Irma, and I feel like a Benedict Arnold. I'm so nervous. I can't even sit still for a manicure Jane if you don't keep your hands still I won't be able to finish your manicure. Oh I've got myself in a fine mess Irma, and I agreed to substitute hobbies for men and I have a fellow calling on me tonight You're in a spot chain, but believe me hobbies is nothing compared to fellas. I Used to collect pictures of baseball players, but just to have one to bat you around is better than all the pictures in the world I Tell me how you're gonna fool Irma. Oh, well, I've already taken care of that You see when mr. McClain comes over this evening I'm going to introduce him as my hobby instructor, and we'll talk about the rocks or something But ain't you afraid that Irma will get wise? Oh, no not Irma. She's so naive And I wouldn't want her to lose faith in me. So please Hilda don't mention this to anyone Look Jane. I take a note. I should drop dead Or remain an old maid I'll give you a choice Jane believe me as sure as my name's Hilda Mason. I won't be the word of it to anybody. Goodbye She was all the poor thing. Oh Hilda. I feel so guilty. Would you please give me a mud pack? I can't look myself in the face That we were that we were through with fellas you see and we were gonna take up hobbies, but who do you think's in town who? Bird hair is my school day sweetheart He wants me to he wants to come up tonight and see me Well, what are you worried about dear? I don't want to hurt Jane's feelings. She she has such faith in me, and I Don't know how to explain Well, why don't you just introduce bird as your hobby instructor? Do you think it'll work? Well, I understand it's being done a great deal these days It does sound original That's what I'm going to do. I'll tell Jane. I'm going to take up painting and that bird is a personal friend of Rembrandt Again, Janie. You sent for me. Yes, professor. I thought perhaps you might be able to help me out I need some stones and rocks Stones and rocks Janie darling, you don't have to become violent When mrs. O'Reilly comes for the rent just tell her you haven't got it Professor be serious. I need some stones in connection with my new hobby Janie, I'll be glad to help you. I'll go get the rocks. Where will you find them? I'm sure there must be a couple in my mattress Where's that book of knowledge? Oh, um Rocks are a solid formation of inorganic matter And are to be found it. Oh, oh, hello Jane. Oh Oh Hello, Irma My you uh, you look pretty too. Oh Thank you Not dressed up for our hobbies Yes, it it is funny Most of us would be breaking our necks to get a date. Yes Yes, that that's true All right, you glad we're not. Yes Irma the way Irma did um, did you hear that I gave up knitting? You did? Yes. Yes. I uh, I have a new hobby Rocks coincidence. Oh, well, that's wonderful Irma and say I have a great idea since you're interested in painting Why don't you go over to central park and study the view you don't have to come home until? Oh, we'll after midnight Thinking since you're interested in rocks. Why don't you go out now and find some? Um, no Irma. No, I um, I want to stay in tonight Rubble and spades By the way, Irma, you have no idea how intensely interested I am in my new hobby and just for uh, um scientific purposes. I'm having a A man come over tonight who knows all about rocks a convict He's my instructor Well, I hope he gets along with my instructor your instructor. Uh, yes, I'm having a Man over who knows all about painting. I think he's going to bring his brush and weasel Jane this uh, this doesn't in any way break our agreement. Does it why of course not? Uh, Jane, uh Is my lipstick on straight I'm not that I think of bird as a man, but you know artists are interested in paint. Oh, yes, I understand here Is uh, is my dress on straight not that I think of gordon as a man But it's just that in his line of work. They're interested in uh formations I will come in. Uh, this is my roommate Irma Peterson. Irma, this is my instructor. Mr. McClain How do you do? Oh, pleased to meet you. I'm sorry. I didn't know you were coming. I would have bought some rock candy I beg your pardon Uh, well, uh, Irma knows all about your hobby. Uh, my hobby. Yes rocks Rocks Rocks. Oh, oh, I want to be sure rocks. Yes. Yes. Yes, indeed Rocks, yes My instructor mr. Harris Come in Well, here I am I couldn't bring a canoe and you said on the phone and I was to pretend I was your hobby instructor But you were supposed to say your hobby was painting Painting We must have had a bad connection. I thought you said punting You know the truth and I I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't mean to break our pack, but I was so lonesome for a man. I was willing to take anything Thanks, Irma. You're just as sweet as you were in school Uh, are you angry, Jane? Well, of course not, honey. I'm just as guilty as you are. Gordon here isn't my hobby instructor, are you? Me? Well, the only rocks I ever had were in rock and rye And here I was so worried now we all know we're fellows and girls and we don't have to be ashamed of it Right, Jane? Right, honey. There's no hobby that'll take the place of boy meets girl. Well, come on. Let's roll up the rugs and dance Now you're talking. Gee. I wish I had my sx-42 here. We could get that hot band in hallelujah Are you a short wave ham? Certainly. I'm sqr 420 420. I'm 426. No kidding. No kidding. Fellas, help me with this rug. Wait a minute. Gordon, I notice you're coming strong. You you got a power booster I got a booster. It's over at the hotel. That's my hobby. Well, it's mine too. Gee. I'd love to see your outfit best rig in the world Come on. Let's go wait. Wait fellas wait fellas fellas Pearl one Drop one you are safe from film nearly everyone has it Just run the tip of your tongue over your teeth If you feel a slippery coating, that's film and you'd better get pepsidon toothpaste to remove it For film collect stains that make teeth look dull It harbors germs that cause unpleasing breath Film glues acid to your teeth the very acid that many dentists agree is the cause of tooth decay And remember film never stops forming. No, it never lets up So brush your teeth twice a day with film removing pepsidon No other toothpaste contains irium or pepsidon's gentle polishing agent No other toothpaste can duplicate pepsidon's film removing formula Get pepsidon toothpaste with irium today Friend Irma is produced and directed by sci-howard and stars Marie Wilson as Irma with Joan Banks as Jane Mark Levy writes the script with Stanley Adams and Roland McClain And it is brought to you by pepsidon toothpaste with irium another fine product of leverbrothers company The part of Al was played by John Brown Hans Kahn read his professor for potkin. Gloria Gordon was heard as Mrs. O'Reilly Music was under the direction of blood glaskin This is Wendell Nile speaking BRISK brisk flavor, that's what you get in Lipton tea Yes brisk flavor that picks you up brings you back alive in a hurry Brisk flavor that comes from Lipton's very special blending of the finest orange pico and pico teas Try it You will find that this brisk flavor of Lipton's leaves you refreshed and ready to go again And you can enjoy it often because even wonderful tea like Lipton's costs less than any drink except water Always ask for Lipton tea the brisk tea with that heartwarming Lipton lift Tune in one hour earlier next week and listen to the lux radio theater followed by the pepsidon show by friend Irma This is CBS Columbia broadcasting system