 All right, we are now live here My name is Matthew coast and I am here with Helena Hart Say hello say hello Don't say hello say hello or hi Yeah, we're live we're live So Yeah, so today we're gonna be talking about The eight things that make men lose interest So this is a hot topic that a lot of women come and ask me about they're like and what am I doing? Am I doing something wrong here? He's pulling away. Was it something I'm doing, you know, and so we're gonna talk about eight possible things that you might be doing that might be kind of Making him lose interest and potentially pulling away or just like Completely losing interest all together certain some of these things We'll do that, you know and and I just want to throw a little caveat out there real quick where You know, you might not know that you're doing some of these things and that's okay I don't think that any of these things that you can do in fact I don't think anything By itself that you can do if a guy really likes you I mean, maybe like in the first initial dating stages If you if you do some of these things they might be red flags for him and he might want to run But if you're in a relationship or you've got a guy that's really interested in you and you do some of these things He probably Like just initially if you're doing them it won't It might be kind of a turn-off or unattractive for him but usually What makes it like what really makes him lose interest is kind of the long-term game here of him Of this kind of impacting him or being unattractive or being a turn-off long-term So Yeah, without further ado. Do you have anything to say Helena? No, no, I was just sharing this to my Facebook page. Oh, you're joining. Yeah, you're sharing Man we should I Always forget to do that. You only do you want me to share to the group to yeah? Yeah, if you want to share it to our group go ahead Hey, if you're new to our channel make sure that you go and hit the subscribe button It's down on the bottom right hand side. I believe of here. It's somewhere on the page There's there's definitely a subscribe button that you can hit if you want to get more videos on how to have the Relationship that you want how to attract the man that you want And how to create the love that you want in your life So that's that so Yeah, so what what makes a man lose interest? Let's talk about a few things that are kind of giant turn-offs for guys One of the big things so the first one that I've got here is talking about your ex, right? And there's a lot of people do this a lot when they're dating and it's to a guy Actually do anybody to a guy or a woman if you're talking about your ex Really what you're telling the person that you're seeing is that you're still Emotionally connected to your ex right like so you're still potentially in love with your ex, you know, obviously there's special circumstances like You know you have kids with an ex or there's an ex that's still in your life or maybe your ex is a stalker or something But outside of that you really shouldn't be talking much about your ex because it's just like Man, it just feels weird and gross You know like if you're on a date with a guy and there's they start talking about your ex and it just like Makes you want to like put them in the friend zone immediately and you just you don't see them in a romantic way anymore I'm assuming it's like that for guys as well. So Yeah, big turn-off for men and women. I think absolutely And if you're new, wow, we've got a lot of people On her watching this right now if you're if you're Just coming in make sure that you say hi in the comment section leave a like and You know, we love chatting with people we love talking with people these live streams are really for The people that love, you know being interacting with us on our channel and talking to us and hanging out with us And so if you're here hanging out and Make sure that you say hi, you know So, yeah, okay, so was there anything else you wanted to say about that? Elena um, no No, just that it's yeah, it's really unattractive both ways for men and women think about it when a guy does that to you How you feel and it's just like oh, it's just such a turn-off. You know, so it's um, I'm assuming that it's similar for men as well Absolutely, it's similar. It's absolutely similar for men And then there's even kind of this thing where it's like Like when you're on a date and a woman starts talking about her ex it's almost like this like You know like I can't even like it's not even necessarily Describable and in like terms of words, but it's almost just like this sinking like if I'm Like if I'm a guy and I'm listening to it. It's kind of like this sinking feeling like, you know, because it's there it's kind of this indication that That you're not going like especially if you're talking crap about your ex it's kind of this indication that you're not fully Engaged or you can't you're not fully available to be in this relationship So all right, let's talk about number two the second thing that is really really that makes men Lose interest and is really really unattractive and that is pretending to be someone that you're not so You know, if you're a comedian or you're an actress or something That's a great time to pretend like you're someone you're not but if you're not Then you shouldn't be pretending like you're someone you're not and this happens Sometimes unintentionally right so like if you end up meeting a guy and you're like really Attracted to him and you really want him to like you And guys do this as well there's kind of this tendency to try to pretend like you're Everything that he wants so that he'll like you more, you know and and be you know And so that you'll you'll be the person that that he wants you to be if you want to Really attract a man and you want him to feel like you're like the one or that just this Amazing woman that he's met. You're just this really special woman to him. There's much better ways to Connect with him in that way to make him feel like you're amazing than trying to be a doormat or trying to Just like be a you know like a yes woman The term is yes, man, but I you know like I guess yes woman You know, there's much better ways, you know, one is really connecting with your heart, which Helena's really really great at and And there's there's also a ways to talk to him That make him feel like you're an amazing special woman but pretending like you're someone you're not is not one of those things like pretending like You know your life is more interesting than it is, you know that What ends up happening when you do this is that eventually it comes out, right? The reality comes out If a guy's into you He's gonna be into you And if you like he's and you're not gonna need to kind of make up a bunch of stuff in order to Make him, you know feel like you're more interesting, you know, he's gonna Genuinely and authentically be interested in what it is What your life is really like right and the more you kind of Side-step that and try to pretend like you are someone you're not or your life is like someone that it's not Or something that it's not The the more of a disconnect happens, right? And so it's like this erosion of trust It Helena. Yeah. Oh gosh. I have so much to say about that. This headphones driving me nuts. I said, can you hear me? Okay? Yeah, yeah We like got in this little argument right before we alive over It's less of an argument more of like so so you notice that I have these things on my head and I was when I was when I did the Interview with Allison Armstrong. She was like she's like it looks like you're about to go land a plane or something You know, and I'm like, I'm like, yeah, you know, it's funny whenever I do interviews and with other people I tend to want us both to have some kind of thing like this because if it doesn't there's like this big echo that Happens and if you're on our last live stream, you probably heard that echo that happened between Us and it was really really bad. I mean just horrible horrible bad And so Helena's trying to get used to I don't like hearing myself. It's just really distracting, but if you can hear me, okay, then that's great Yeah, no, I totally agree with everything you're saying like I remember I used to go on dates maybe like ten years ago practically like Rehearsing my lines like I something I thought okay well I need to show this guy that I'm like really easy going and sweet and really like intelligence and and it's just not what makes a Man feel attracted to you and I love what you said about They they can feel that there's a disconnect if you're not connected to yourself in your own heart There's like this incongruence there and it makes a man not trust you on a deep Sometimes like subconscious level. They're like hey well what what she's saying is not congruent with her vibe That's the whole thing they're picking up on is their level of tension or your your level of tension and your vibe So if you're pretending to be super confident and cool and relaxed, but you're not really feeling that way deep down There's this like disconnect and it will you know when you're at that place a man cannot Connect with you and he can't fall in love But when you're like in your feminine energy when you're in your body and being authentic He can you know, he can connect with you and fall in love that way So yeah, really important to not pretend to be someone you're not Yeah, and and and so you know, there's kind of a argument in The dating space, right? There's this like thing where people are like Just be yourself, right? and Well, it's it's hard to like not talk about that, you know, because it's so so important because there's it's like You know, it's really fascinating to me like that the argument I get it, you know Usually when somebody's telling you to just be yourself What they're saying is it's like this pick-me-up thing, right? It's like it's like just go in there and just be yourself, you know, and and you'll like you for who you are, you know And I think there's a lot of value To feel that way and to think that way And I think at the same time You know, like There's so many different multifaceted aspects of ourself, right? Like if you go on a date with a guy and And now I know that I'm going off on a rant here, but if you go on a date with a guy and You know, he is acting like a jerk, right? He might not get that second date with you, right? Or if he's You know, just really Really grumpy like I was a little bit earlier If if if he shows up and he's really grumpy, you know, he might not get that second date with you and That's not to say that he isn't a really awesome guy, right and that maybe You guys might be really awesome together What it is to say is that we have different aspects of ourself, right and sometimes if we're if we go out on a date and we're just trying to just be ourselves and You know at the time where we're, you know, there's something weird going on with us or whatever it might be a really Negative experience when you want it to be a really positive experience, right? It could be Really boring when you want it to be really fun and interesting and so I think that there's Like a very very valid thing when somebody says just be yourself, you know, it's it's like Yeah, you know, I want to feel good about myself I want to feel like I'm a cool and awesome person and that people like me for who I am and I Think, you know from a Like connecting with a man from your heart and being an authentic human being like I think that's very important is This whole like not pretending like you're someone you're not And I also think that on the other side of that there's this thing where We're kind of in this is one of the biggest challenges that we are having right now as a society is that When we go on on dates men and women both of us what we do is we expect the best Right, but we aren't willing to live up to those expectations ourselves Right, so we believe that we deserve something Like the best person in the world, but we aren't willing to put in the effort to be that person that deserves This amazing person to come into our lives, right? And so I think that You know Being authentic is really really powerful and I think also growing and developing ourselves is really really powerful as well It's like You know, nobody tells you, you know, if you're like, hey, I want to go and you know And lose some weight, right? Like no nutrition expert No person that is an expert in helping people lose weight is going to be like, oh, well, just go be yourself Right if you go to a gym and you talk to a personal trainer And you're like, yeah, I want to learn how to work out and be stronger No personal trainers ever going to be like, oh, just go into the gym and just be yourself, right? Because you have to learn things, right? You have to Learn how the equipment works. You have to learn how your body works. You have to learn how food impacts you, right? And it's kind of the same thing in relationships, you know there's this aspect of us of being authentic and Connecting with ourselves and connecting with another human being from that place of being authentic But there's also kind of this skill thing that's involved in relationships where we need to Learn about each other, right? We need to learn how to connect with ourselves and other people in In ways that that take things deeper, you know, um, and You know and sometimes you run into people and things just work, you know And sometimes you don't you know and sometimes you have to work on things, you know And and in every relationship I've ever been in and every every relationship I've ever taught There's like this thing where a lot of people try to pretend like They they can just show up and things are going to be perfect in a relationship like I'm gonna come in and You know, it's this fairy tale thing and we're in love with each other and you know, things will be perfect forever and Usually when I talk to somebody and they're like, oh my god My relationship is just so perfect and we're the perfect couple and everything's perfect and love and La da da da da da. I'm like, okay, cool You know and I like I'm just waiting because usually what ends up happening is in the next couple months What ends up happening is there's this huge fight because you a lot of times in relationships like that there's like there's two different types of people there's kind of these people that believe that Relationships should just be perfect or they're not right and then there's these people that believe that In order to have a great relationship. You have to work on it, right? And the people that tend to think that a relationship is perfect or it's not right are people that usually tend to have massive fights and Horrible break-ups, you know, they're they're the people that are like, oh everything's so perfect and next thing, you know, they're divorced I know quite a few people that were like that in my life and You know, I think that a healthy perspective is this perspective of looking at things like This is something that we need to work on, you know, I we are a Or a project to to you know, work on to learn about each other to I'll learn about ourselves to grow Together to to grow in general um, oh Yeah, I'm just off on tangents over here You know, I totally agree. Yeah, some of the best relationships that I've seen have had problems because then it's like That's how you work on things and it grow together and it's not this like surface level thing where there's a lot going on under the Surface and it's not being talked about, you know, so I totally I totally agree with that Yeah, and a lot of times people say, oh, you know because I talk a lot about feminine energy and a lot of my work and videos and stuff like that and people a lot of people really like that but some people think it's like pretending like well I'm not naturally that way. So that would be pretending or playing games where nothing we talk about is like a game or a Like a superficial strategy because there is this whole other side of you a lot of time work mostly with women There is this whole other side that's just like waiting to be uncovered So it's about being more of who you are not not pretending to be a certain way that where it doesn't feel authentic yeah, and I just want to speak to that whole like feminine energy thing real quickly because We do get a lot of comments about that and you know, it's interesting like everybody's like Both men and women I get this with For those of you who don't know I used to be a men's dating coach and a lot of guys are kind of resistant to this whole like being a man thing, right? Which is understandable in our society for a lot of reasons and I could talk about that for hours, but You know like if you want to attract a masculine guy You you need to connect with your feminine energy and it's not like this thing where like I'm telling you that you need to go and Pretend like you're someone you're not from like, you know, I don't know that much about feminine energy because I'm a kind of somewhat of a masculine dude and and I have some feminine traits to me or whatever, but You know for the most part I do know about masculine Right being in my masculine and for me like being in my masculine when I'm being a man It just feels so good. You know, it just feels so it feels just right, you know, and There was a time when it didn't and it was because I was trying to like live up to these fake societal standards that Existed and I didn't understand masculinity. I didn't understand being a man and And I think there's like this, you know, like this weird belief system that was in my head when I was growing up that was like, you know masculinity is bad or something and You know, I've totally gotten over that and I love I love being masculine now, you know, but My guess is that there's something similar in being feminine like it's this primal like for me It's like this primal thing where I get into it and it's like, I mean, I just feel at home, you know, I feel alive in ways that I don't feel if I'm like trying to be feminine or trying to Like trying to Be somewhere neutral or something like that when I get into my like my primal masculine Kind of archetype or, you know You know, what whatever that is that that when I'm being masculine that I get into it Just it just feels so good, you know, which is another reason why when you're talking to a man and you say things that Show that he's being masculine like he loves it, you know, guys love that kind of stuff because it's it's Talking to this this deep internal primal part of him where he Where it's just this powerful thing that it is that he looks up to and he from like a Deep deep inner space just loves, you know, even if he hasn't spent that much time in it Or he hasn't really explored it or discovered it or whatever I think that with most men There's kind of this, you know, like this masculine thing that we A lot of us have lost because it's in many ways. It's not necessary In our current society If you're in the United States and in most places in the United States that there's definitely some places where like danger exists and things are You know, you need to kind of be in your masculine when you're out there if you're a man to survive or whatever All right, I'm going off on tangents again, Elena No, I told yeah No, like you were saying where something doesn't feel right when you're not in your masculine same with Well, I guess I can speak personally. Yeah, if I'm not letting myself feel something. It's like the worst It's almost like an out-of-body experience. I happened to me yesterday. I was really Feeling really really depressed yesterday, which I don't experience all that much these days And I was like driving around running errands like holding back like tears It's kind of embarrassing to share but I think it might be helpful like just on the verge of tears like all day long and Let me know type it into the chat if you've ever like just been like blinking back tears all day And just like finally let yourself cry and like feel it then you're done And then like five ten minutes Then you feel like yourself again and you get through it and then that's it but it's that holding back of Not letting yourself feel what you're feeling that causes this disconnect a lot of times All right, cool screen just froze. Can you see me still something? Yeah, I can I can see what screen froze Yeah, you are screen froze for a second my screen froze Okay, you're good. All right, so I just want to say hi to some of these people talking to us in chat, so Lore Lorea Lorea hi Hi go on so miracle love. Hey, it's Neil says I get it Julie says why does a man playing cat and mouse games with you? We can talk about that later But when you conform to them you lose yourself Yeah, yeah, so it's Neil was saying that there's definitely um That's kind of a that's a I'm not sure if we're gonna be talking about that or not No, we aren't but there is this thing where a lot of times I hear from women like they'll say things like you know, I gave my everything to this relationship and He ended up taking me for granted or he ended up losing interest And I think that there there's definitely You know, there's kind of this noble thing where a lot of women are like, yeah, I gave my all to this relationship I'm giving myself completely to this relationship and usually the problem in there is that you're smothering a guy, right? and so When you smother a guy like that his natural reaction is to pull back and if you continue moving forward He'll just keep moving backwards so That's I'm not sure if that completely answered that That's a really common thing over functioning over giving I always say anger and resentment build in direct proportion To the amount of effort and energy you're putting out as a woman So if you're trying to do all these things and give to a guy to try to Get something back from him in the relationship like get him to step up and commit or something like that If he doesn't behave the way that you're hoping he would you're going to feel angry and resentful So when you start to feel that way, you can always ask yourself where am I putting in too much effort? Where am I hoping that this man is going to do something where do I have an expectation? That's not being met and you can rain it back in that way. Yeah, absolutely We could talk about that for a long time as well So let's go on to the next one. So here's the number three number three thing That makes a guy lose interest is trying to be his mom, right? And you know, I hear Helena laughing about this and I you know, it's it's funny In some ways, but there's there's this thing. We were talking about Alice and Armstrong earlier One of the things that she says is that women Treat men like they're like they're just hairy Women, you know, like like men should act like women but they But but they're just like misbehaving, you know, I mean like they're these misbehaving Women or something just hairy and You know this this whole thing of like acting like a guy's mom usually what comes out in this is like You know trying to make his decisions for him you know trying to train him into You know being this like finely groomed Chihuahua that You know, you're your pet that you keep with you And there's nothing attractive about doing any of that. There's nothing attractive about Mothering a man, you know, there's there's this feminine element that is incredibly attractive, which is like being nurturing but There's kind of this over-the-top element of like being mothering and being like, you know, you shouldn't do that and you know, let me you know, you should start behaving this way and Did you have any Yeah, men don't want to romance their mothers, right or their teachers a lot of clients I haven't go into this teaching mode or mothering mode or even like a counselor mode kind of telling a man how he should behave or What a you know a good man in a relationship should do this and this and this and it just like turns a man off faster than Almost anything else I found Yeah, it's pretty kind of destructive for relationship long-term especially and that kind of Kind of moves us into this number four number four like doing that number four is treating him like a slave, right? And so what I what I'm talking about when I say that you're treating him like a slave is doing it's doing things like You know trying to order your guy around berating him mocking him You know making him abandon his own passions or something You taking him for granted, right? and this This can like this is okay if your guy is like I I'm friends with this guy who's super feminine, right and his wife is like this like She's like this alpha female, right and she like is like It's you should see it It's hysterical like it's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life and it like to me It's like the most God-awful relationship in the world. You know, I mean as a guy I would never ever want to be treated the way that she treats him She's just constantly like you need to be back here, you know at this time and you need to you know Do this and you know stop hanging out with those people, which is kind of the mothering thing as well But you know, she kind of like puts them down and it's just really really painful for me to watch he kind of likes it You know, maybe he's just into Emotional abuse. I don't know. There's some people that are into that kind of thing But for most guys, it's not attractive at all, you know mocking a guy, you know making fun of them there's this kind of like playful banter thing that you can do with a guy and That can be attractive in small parts, right? What I've noticed is that a lot of women end up going like full mode into this and it's like, you know A guy can't even open up to that woman without being like berated and mocked and like made fun of and you know totally stupid or something and If you've gone that far, it's kind of like this masculine thing and it's For most guys, it's just really really unattractive and if you're an attractive woman like physically You what will end up happening to you is you'll end up being in lots of casual Relationships, you'll end up thinking that guys don't want anything long-term. You'll think that guys don't You know don't want to get serious at all, you know, it's it's kind of interesting talking to women that I don't I don't do a lot of coaching anymore, but back when I used to do coaching It's like the transformation that a woman can go through when she goes from being like this like masculine, you know berating like tell a guy what to do all the time type of a woman and like Into her feminine and the difference that she experiences with men who all of a sudden are like You know into her like asking her for marriage, you know, like, you know It's it's funny because there's like these women out there who are like And I'll see this in my comment section, especially on our Facebook page Is you'll see a bunch of comments of these women that are like men don't want anything serious men don't want You know aren't looking for a commitment men just want one thing and it's sex and then you go over and you See these other women that are commenting and they're like in these, you know I mean, it's like every guy I meet, you know wants to get married to me every guy I mean wants a committed relationship with me and a big difference between that is feminine energy and What did I tell you right before we started this Yeah But just a woman like that the tiniest little shift in this other direction that we're talking about can't get you the biggest most Incredible results just the tiniest little shift into your feminine energy if you tend to be that type a kind of Driven sort of person that wants to tell everyone around you what to do this the smallest shift I was I always want to say lean back, but If you can just lean back just a little bit and start to see the kind of results you'll get I mean that we've seen comments Even just in the past couple days where people are like I've gotten the most incredible results even just a day of doing this It's it's pretty amazing Yeah, absolutely. Um Okay, so the next thing I want to talk about so this is number five is thing that is really unattractive is I put it as being too easy But really it's not even really saying that being easy is a turnoff, but it's like It's like So so there's a couple different elements to this right one is like being Like too sexually aggressive which can be fun for a guy like short term Or if he's like kind of a submissive in the bedroom or whatever but the other side of this is like You know Like being too Too easy for Like for for him right like just kind of being a doormat or just like doing whatever he wants This is a problem. Like there's there's this thing called boundaries, right? And nobody Really wants to talk about it But it's like one of the most important things that you can do in your dating and relationship life is have boundaries because it Makes a man feel that you're really valuable, right? And the more valuable a man feels that you are the more special He feels that you are and so if you are just like letting him do whatever he wants to do especially initially he will lose He he might come on hot, but then he'll end up losing interest and it's One of the things I talk about in my programs is that Men commit because of investment, right? So the more a man invests in you, right? A lot of women like to call this chasing, right? I like to call it pursuing But the more a man invests in you the more he'll feel like he doesn't want to let you go, right? So it's like if you ever look at this is probably a Guy-topic, I don't know if you look at stocks for instance, right? A lot of people what they'll do is they'll There's been a whole bunch of research on this people will like do a whole bunch of Like research into stocks, right? And they'll be like, okay, and they'll find a stock that they really really really believe in and Then they'll put all their money into this stock, right? And it might do well or whatever but at some point it starts going down and it might go down a lot, right and What ends up happening is that a lot of times these people end up losing all of their money because They have so much invested in the research that they've done on this stock And they were so certain about it that they're willing to Write it all the way down to the bottom because they're like, no I picked instead of doing smart things with stocks, which is selling at a certain price They just write it to the bottom and they end up losing all their money and This is gonna sound really bad like transitioning it over to men, but like a man Will if he invests a lot in you I'm not just like monetarily, but like Emotionally physically from a time standpoint the more he invests in you the less he'll want to Lose you right the less he'll want to let you go and so if you give a man everything without Making sure that he's Putting effort into This potential relationship that you have Then it won't feel like a big deal if he leaves you, right? He won't feel like he's that invested he won't feel like you're that valuable to him And because of that he won't feel like you're that special woman that he's always been looking for Yeah, I totally agree. Yeah, I'm just reading the chat. Yeah, Candice Pretending you're okay with something casual when you really want a relationship. Yeah, definitely It goes right along with that. Um, I Totally agree. I think you said it all there. That was great. Cool. Hey, hey, if you're just joining our chat Make sure you say hi We like it when people say hi to us if you're new to our channel Make sure that you hit the subscribe button to get more videos on how to have the relationship. You've always wanted so next thing that we're gonna talk about is This is number six is of eight just in case you're You just got here and you don't know we're doing eight here so eight things that make men lose interest and and You know, these are things that are unattractive things that make a guy pull away things that make a guy lose interest And so this other thing is kind of It's gossiping about him too much, right? So there there's this kind of thing where there's this loyalty thing around men, right like men want loyal women, right if I was to Lump all men together, which we tend to do in a lot of this stuff on men want loyal women And so it's like if you're talking about a man To other people You know talking about him in a positive light is Can be really beneficial because when he talks to other people they'll be like, oh, yeah I heard so many cool things about you And if you talk badly about him behind his back he'll probably find that out and It'll destroy your relationship But there's this other thing which is kind of talking a lot about him, right and To a guy it makes him like if a guy figures out that you're talking about him a lot to other people Even if it's your own friends you're your best friends, right and and he talks to them and they're like, oh, yeah I know this one thing and they say this one thing that's like personal and private to you um a Guy will start to Like lose trust in you, right? He'll feel like He suddenly can't be as open with you and tell you all these things that he wants to tell you because um It'll feel like You're you know because he's he's he becomes afraid of what you might end up telling people which could end up ruining his ruining his reputation um and He might end up seeing it as like being manipulative or something um Yeah, I tell a lot of times I just tell my clients Just just if you can try to avoid talking about the guy you're dating or your boyfriend when you're with your friends Just because it can you can get into like complaining and that just you that gets in your energy And it just get it creates this like negative thing around your relationship And also I love what you said to you like men need to feel like they can safely open up to you And when they feel like they can trust you and confide in you and tell you things that they don't necessarily tell Everybody else or anyone else in their life. That's what makes them feel like they like this is the one woman I can't live without so it's really important Absolutely, absolutely. All right. So moving on. Let's see if we oh, hey, hi Easter Pastels pastels Thanks for the important tips on how to handle ourselves be yourself room for improvement Oh, you guys are these comments are great. Hey love your channel I recently found y'all and love your content. Thank you We love you guys You know really the best part of our channel is really you guys, you know Yeah, all you women out there that are a part of it Who help each other out who ask us questions who? You know are growing there's nothing more rewarding to me than seeing a woman Go from being in a space where she feels like she's stuck to being in a space where you know All of a sudden all these amazing things are happening to her with men It's just so like it's just so rewarding. It's it's really really powerful and so yeah, thank you Thank you for being here And being a part of our channel. So yeah, if you're new if you're new to the live stream Make sure you say hi we love it. We love it when you guys say hi, so Okay, moving on to the next one number seven. So we've got two more So number seven is being too hot and cold and so This So there's this like Viral video out there right that talks about like a woman's attractiveness to crazy scale Right Yeah, it's it's kind of like it people show I've seen it like I've had people send it to me multiple times And it's it's over years over a few years. I've had people send it to me multiple times and You know, this is really what people are talking about on the crazy scale, right? Is this like being too hot and cold like a man? So men have most men have kind of You know, they have a limited amount of So there's this book out there. It's called the way of the superior man And it's by a guy named David data and one of the things that he talks about in that book And I found this to be incredibly true is that men are like on this path Right like they have this thing that they're going for if a man is is a mature masculine man he is on a path going somewhere in his life and Yeah, you know, they they kind of describe this masculine energy as kind of this dull You know forward like darkness like And they describe feminine energy as like this Light this beauty this flowing this dancing. I'm like giving my feminine thing right now and For a man who like runs into feminine energy It can be this really a luring kind of distraction almost right and it can be really really powerful for him to kind of join forces together and them to you know, like come together and You know because she'll kind of pull him off this path and and give him these fun detours of Experiencing life right like I've heard feminine feminine energy be described as like The experience of life, right and masculine energy is kind of this cold hard Thing that is just you know this forward driving force this really powerful forward driving force So some women out there take this to the extreme, right and they go like Hot cold, you know, and you know, maybe you've even experienced guys doing some of this before but it's it's usually for a guy It's like distracted, you know, like path distracted path whereas for women in their feminine, it's like this Kind of like flowing like all over the place at least from a guy's perspective when he sees it He's like he's like seeing this like woman go from these different polarizations and It's really kind of confusing for a man. Um, it can be interesting initially But if it goes like way too far, what ends up happening is he feels like it's just like this weird confusing like Annoying sometimes if he's getting pulled too much off of his path, you know Like to the point where he can't even he he can't even focus anymore He can't even like go back on to his path because he's being so distracted by this feminine energy that that is sporadic and Kind of just all over the place it can be really detrimental to The potential relationship that they have and a guy will immediately throw a woman into like this woman is Crazy wild and fun, but not relationship material category Very very quickly if he experiences too much of this Do you have anything to say about this? I've never heard anyone put it that way before so I was just listening. No, I think that was totally I think that was totally brilliant I mean especially if you're being hot and cold is like a Game or a strategy to try to make a man to manipulate the way He feels about you or try to get him to behave in a certain way a lot of times a man Won't he might not be able to tell what you're doing But if he can tell you're doing something He can tell you're doing something to affect him in some way That will cause him to want to like stay at a distance and not come too close. I found Yep, for sure for sure Yeah, it'll keep him at a distance Yeah, Julie Julie says why does a man play cat in mice games with you? That's kind of like the other side of it when the man is hot and cold or when he's trying to do something To affect you. Yeah, it depends, you know So there's kind of You know, we could probably do an entire video on just on that. Yeah so for a man it could be a Like a conscious thing that he's doing and it could also be a like completely Subconscious like, you know, he's not aware that he's even doing it right because you know, I've actually had women accused me of doing that in the past and Usually when they're saying that to me, I'm like, I don't even know what you're talking about You know, like they've made up in their mind like this whole Scenario that's going on. I'm playing games with them. I'm doing all these things and really At the time I think what was going on with me was that I was really just conflicted, right? I had kind of this thing where I wanted to Like date this woman, but at the same time I was kind of It wasn't my priority, you know, and so it would come up It was like, yeah, I want these emotional connections. I want this woman. I want Love I want sex. I want all these things and at the same time I'm like, you know, I've got this, you know, business that I'm working on or this job that I'm I'm doing that I that's really important to me Or Another thing that happens sometimes With guys is is that they're just not that interested, right? and so, you know, you come up in his mind and then he contacts you and then You know, he forgets about you because it's not like this Because you haven't become that important to him yet And so he like just kind of forgets about it and then, you know gets distracted on things that to him are a higher priority at the time and You know, there's also scenarios where guys intentionally play games, right? So if a guy is consciously doing it, that's a huge red flag But it's it's kind of, you know, I've never dated a guy before so I don't know How to say like this is a game You know, I know that in dating women I've had suspicions that women were playing games with me But it's hard to ever pinpoint whether it's they're doing it consciously or whether it's not, you know Because it's like, okay. Well, if you ask them, they're probably gonna deny it, you know, because it's like, oh, yeah You're right. I've been playing games with you, you know Who's gonna admit to that? You know, maybe some people But for the most part it's difficult to determine whether it's conscious or not and If it's not conscious then it's it's it's just a matter of priorities and the question isn't whether Whether he's gonna whether he's playing games or not, but whether he's in a space to make your priority or in a Open at all to Having a relationship as a priority in his life if he's if he's not because some men aren't, you know, there's there's I'm going back to Allison Armstrong again. So Allison Armstrong has this book. It's a great book. You should go pick it up it's called The keys to the kingdom, right and it talks about Men and these stages that men go through in their lives, right? And there's like I think she she calls it like the I can't remember what the the young one is. It's like and then there's like a prince and then like a King, I don't know. There's a bunch of stages. I don't you know, I'm just gonna You know make this sound ridiculous if I try to see what they are But but there's different stages that men go through right and there's like the stage where a man is like on this adventure, right and To have a woman with him if he's still in this kind of immature Adventure stage he needs a woman that isn't gonna try to tie him down Right, he needs a woman that is willing to go on this adventure with him, right? And then there's this next stage where a guy is like building his kingdom, right and I might be skipping a stage I don't know but there's a stage where he's like really really like focused on work and usually there's two types of men in That category one is like this man who isn't going to Commit to any woman because he's not ready yet He doesn't feel like he can be in a relationship without having you know part of his kingdom built already Right, and then there's another type of man who Is willing to bring a woman along as long as she is in like this supportive role or Kind of like in alignment with his growth as a man Into building his kingdom and supporting him in building his kingdom And then there's other stages. There's like this stage where a guy's like totally over all of that and he's like I Think they call him like the king or something and he like is like Focused on like giving back and helping other people and in all kinds of other things But anyway, it's a good book go read it the keys to the kingdom Alice and Armstrong great book I Was am I am I going on a tangent again? No, no, I can see why you like that one. So I think yeah, that's great Totally right on a lot of times you like women will ask me like why Why is a man doing this? Is he playing games? Well, and it's like there's like you said There's it's hard to know the why and you can't often change the why so it's I would sort of I was Recommend like not placing meaning on every little thing a man says or does you know just focus on what he's doing Effort in is he making you a priority is he pursuing you or not? And how are you feeling when you're with him then getting up in your head? Analyzing trying to figure out why a man is doing every little thing that he does So if you can try to not place so much meaning on every move a man makes that will help you a lot That'll help keep you out of that masculine energy analyzing place Yeah, absolutely. So, um So do are we on eight is that one we're on all right? We're on the final one here We're on the fire. We're on the final countdown So we're on number eight and number eight and this is if you got lost in my My ranting These are things that make a guy lose interest pull away or unattractive to a guy especially long term And if you're new to our channel, make sure you subscribe. I'm gonna say that like 12 times in every video from now on All right, and so the last one number eight is Being desperate right and so a desperate woman is like The way that a man Feels around a desperate woman and when I'm talking about desperate I'm talking about like a woman who's like just You know like any man will do type of women, right? And this is like you can tell She's almost on a hunt, right? Just to get a guy and it's like oh, you're great You know like you're going on date with her and she's like, oh, you see it's a wonderful You know and you're like you're like, um You don't know anything about me yet, you know, and it's like, oh, no, but I know that you're great You know, and you're just like, okay This is weird But the way that a man feels when He ends up like around a desk like a really desperate woman is he feels like he's being used and He feels like he's being used for some kind of placeholder in her life, right? Like she's so Needs this guy to be Her boyfriend her husband her fiance her provider Whatever, you know that she's so desperate about having that it's not about him, right? He doesn't feel like she cares about him. She she feels like he's she's she's just using him to To be whatever position she needs him to be which Temporarily some guys can find attractive, but like I'm saying over the long term this pretty much Like if a guy gets into a relationship like this, which usually he won't you know, usually guys can smell and Feel this a mile away, right? He'll feel it instantly when he's hanging out with you, you know, because you'll start doing these things that to him feel really really try hard and If you do those things he will be like You know like he'll be sitting there looking at his watch, you know I guess we don't have watches anymore sitting there, you know checking the time on his phone trying to figure out how quickly He can run out of The place and so yeah desperation is hugely hugely unattractive Yeah, the first thing that came like if she's looking to him to like fill a roll Like there's this empty spot in her life, and she's just the first good that guy that comes along She wants to throw him in there So you can really ask yourself when you're looking at a man or if you just like picture that man in front of you Are you looking at him as like holding something that you want that he's that you need to get from him? Or do you really see him? Like are you actually seeing him getting to know him for who he is or do you only see what you want from him? And men can do this too men can see a woman and just okay She fits all everything on my checklist and I you know and it it's this it feels there's a difference between when a man's Energy's coming towards you which is feels really good and when he like needs from you and I That that must be what a man might feel like when he comes across this like death In a woman like she she wants something from me. She's looking. She's looking To fill a role and she's not really like seeing who I am Sort of what I got from that. Yeah, and and moving kind of back to this whole thing Of being desperate and acting desperate, right? It kind of goes back to that whole thing where we're talking about chasing and pursuing right a guy needs to Be feel invested. He needs to feel like he's going after something He needs to feel like he's winning something right and if you show up and you're like, I'm already won You know, you're the most amazing man. I've ever met. You know, I mean, he doesn't feel like Any of those things are happening, right? He doesn't feel like he's You know winning somebody he doesn't feel like he's with somebody who's valuable, right? He doesn't feel like Like he he wants to Pursue or chase or invest in or put effort in, you know, because he doesn't need to you know He can sit back and the woman will chase him, you know, which happens a lot And it's just not attractive. You know, especially long-term like short-term You know what ends up happening is that you'll end up sleeping with a guy and the guy will end up, you know, disappearing on you and The cycle continues the cycle continues. So Yeah, so yellow Rosa says yellow am I am I yellow? Is that what's going on here? Do I look yellow to you, Elena? I don't think she's I don't know what yellow means I Pilot judgment says hi, Helena The sound just cut out really quick. Can you still hear me? I can hear you green froze. I don't know Okay, green froze. Okay. No, it's back now. It's back. Yeah Technical difficulties. No, I think it's okay Are you reading these comments? Are there any questions that you want to? I Felt loud so we can meet her And talk about it. He's cool with it. I'm not sure what She's saying Okay, so um, oh Yeah, we just hit the hour time limit. So let's just cut it where it's at right now I just want to thank everybody for being here. Thanks so much. If you're new to our channel make sure you subscribe and Thanks, Elena for your valuable input in this conversation. I don't think I'm yellow But Anyway, thank you. Thank you everybody for being here