 Acts chapter 9 verse 31 it says this then the churches throughout all Judea, Galilee and Samaria had peace and were edified and walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit they were multiplied. There in verse 31 that phrase walking in the fear of the Lord literally means that the fear of the Lord led over or carried over or even transferred over to every area of their lives. From the Psalms and Proverbs we know that the fear of the Lord and I'm going to kind of just list some bullet points here. The fear of the Lord brings wisdom. The Bible tells us the fear of the Lord brings knowledge. The fear of the Lord brings stability, strength of salvation, the hatred of evil. The fear of the Lord brings confidence and safety, vitality of life the scriptures tell us satisfaction and contentment and the fear of the Lord brings us actually a departure from sin. The fear of the Lord really if you've ever wondered that what that term really means because sometimes people think you know I'm a Christian I'm not supposed to be fearful of anything what does mean to have the fear of the Lord? Well really the fear of the Lord means to have a reverence and respect for the Lord's word and the Lord's will. This is a very important thing as Christians because a lot of times we will not live or walk or conduct ourselves with the fear of the Lord. We will not respect what the Lord's word says and we will not respect what the Lord's will might be because we don't want to do what God's word says and we don't want God's will we want our will. So if we look at this phrase and combine really walking in and the fear of the Lord from Acts 931 if you would look at it again it could be read like this. The church's reverence and respect of the Lord's word and the Lord's will carried over into every area of their lives and so as we see that the reverence and respect of God's word and God's will carried over into every area of their lives so we will see the effects of it carrying over into every area of our lives and so we're going to be looking at this at three fears, three fears, three main things that we're afraid of we're going to look at three fears that the fear of the Lord enables us to overcome. So we're going to look at three main things that we're afraid of that if we have the fear of the Lord we're enabled now to overcome. This principle that I feel the Lord taught me through was taught to me through one of the most difficult years of my life to this day. This is the same principle that I've had the very humbling opportunity to share at our senior pastors conferences through the Calvary Chapel Association. This is also the same principle from God's word and I'm going to share with you guys tonight. So let's get into it. As I mentioned this message is entitled zero and the hero and we're going to see how having the fear of the Lord overcomes these three things, the fear of anxiety, the fear of failure and the fear of self-worth. So we'll see with point number one this evening the fear of the Lord overcomes the fear of anxiety. So anxiety is a very powerful thing. It can be defined as this, the distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune. Anxiety. Maybe there are some of you that struggle with anxiety tonight. Our statistics tell us that there are over 40 million. It actually says that there are at least 40 million US adults that have anxiety disorders. So let me ask you this question and I'll be asking you three main questions under each main point. Have you ever noticed how you can bear the pressure of provision? Bear the pressure of having to provide for whatever it is. Maybe it could be something physical or emotional, something monetary. How are we going to pay for this or how are we going to pay for that? Where are we going to find someone to watch the kids while we're at work? What if I can't provide for my family? What if business slows down and we have to lay people off? Man, we're so blessed right now. But what if those blessings aren't here tomorrow? What if I can't maintain this pace? What if I can't maintain this speed? What if I just can't maintain what it takes to live in Southern California? I mean, this rat race, the real estate prices, the cost of living. What if I just can't do that? I just, I don't know if I can handle it. What if I'm too old or what if I'm too young or it just, it doesn't make sense. And you can go to bed with those anxieties and then you wake up with them the next day and the next day. And what you hoped would be gone in the morning is there to greet you in the morning. I don't know how I can do all this work or I don't know how I can maintain this pressure. I don't know how I can keep on going. Jesus said in John 10, 10, the thief does not come except to steal and to kill and to destroy. But Jesus said this, I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly. See, anxiety is the opposite of certainty. It's, I don't understand it. I don't get it. I don't, I don't know how it's going to work itself out. I mean, how many times as a Christian, as a churchgoer, have you heard a pastor or somebody share that the Lord is your provider? God provides for you. I mean, how many times have we heard that? How many times have we intellectually grasped the concept of Jehovah Jireh, which in Hebrew means the God who provides, but have not owned it personally until you've experienced it powerfully? You can hear people talk about it all they want. But until you experience it personally, you don't get it, you don't understand it. And I really believe that the Lord allows times of testing. Those times when our faith is refined in order for us to overcome anxiety by faith in Jesus Christ, faith in Jesus, because he is our provider. He provides for you. He provides for your family and the pressure of provision respectfully. And I think even appropriately rests on the shoulders of none other than the Lord's. In 1 Peter chapter five, verses six and seven, it says, therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him for He cares for you. Maybe there's some of you here tonight that just need to know that God cares for you. But the truth of this is that we must humble ourselves and admit that we can't cover it. We can't foot the bill. It says casting all your care. That word for care in the New Testament can literally mean your anxieties, your worries, your stresses. So we could even say casting all your anxiety upon Him because He cares for you. I know you may not understand this, but God actually cares for your spouse more than you do. Maybe some of you can, and that's a different subject. But He cares for your kids more than you do. And as crazy as it may seem, He cares for you more than you do. See, knowing the Word of God helps us to know the will of God. And so, remember, walking in the fear of the Lord overcomes the fear of anxiety because my reverence and respect of God's Word leads my decisions and my attitudes. Let's be real. Sometimes the heat just gets turned up, not talking about the temperatures outside. It's the temperature in your life. But the Lord's allowing that to take place in order for His perfect work to be accomplished in you. I was very fortunate to have a great group of mentors. One of the closest to me passed away earlier this year. This guy was outside my circle, and so as a pastor, it was really nice to have another spiritual guy that was in ministry that I could talk to very openly and plainly. And to be able to share with him some of the struggles and things that I was dealing with. And I remember after having just a very, very difficult time. And I called this guy, it was 10 o'clock at night, and I shared my sob story. I played my violin perfectly for him. And he wasn't a man of many words. But the thing that he said to me was not, oh man, that sounds like you're having a hard time. Man, that must be tough. Oh man, I don't know how you're doing it still. No, this is what he said to me. He said, you know, the Lord's gonna continue to allow those things to happen to you until his perfect work is accomplished in your life. And it was revolutionary for me. You mean to tell me that all of these terrible things that I have been experiencing and having to endure that the Lord was allowing them to happen so that I might be the man that he's created me to be? Yes, absolutely. See, our fear of the Lord crushes the fear of anxiety because you're honoring the Lord's will. Even if you don't like it or understand it, and you're honoring his word above your own will, your own situation and your own feelings. See, understanding the will of the Lord will come from understanding the word of the Lord. Listen to what Jesus said in Matthew chapter six, verses 30 through 33. He said, now if God so clothes the grass of the field which today is and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, oh you of little faith? Therefore do not worry saying what shall we eat or what shall we drink or what shall we wear for after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things but this is the real key right here. Verse 33, Matthew six, but seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these other things will be added to you. All these other things. When you have the fear of the Lord, you are empowered to overcome your fear of anxiety and the pressure of provision. The Lord's your provider. Maybe you're single here. The Lord's the provider of your spouse. Maybe you're struggling financially. The Lord is your provider. Listen, I've had times where I have a special needs daughter and I've shared stories with you about her. And where I didn't know how to pay for the medical expenses and pay for these things that I needed for my family. And I wrestled with anxiety, majorly. I'm not up here preaching from a place of I've never had a bad day in my life. I'm telling you from personal experience that I know that the Lord is working and that he is able to do things that are absolutely impossible for us. You, me, we need to continue to do the best that we can do with what we've been given to work with we need to continue to seek the Lord to do our best to be faithful in our jobs or whatever it may be, but don't be afraid. Don't be afraid. Having the fear of the Lord overcomes the fear of uncertainty because I don't know what is going to happen. I don't understand how this will work out. If you truly have that fear of the Lord which is the respect and reverence of his word and his will above your own desires, your own will, you will find that there you are empowered to overcome the fear of anxiety. And that leads us to point number two which is the fear of the Lord overcomes the fear of failure. The fear of failure. You don't need to raise your hands but have you ever been afraid to fail? Have you ever been afraid to not succeed so you just don't try at all because what if you do fail and what if it doesn't work out and what if God lets you down and what if I take that step of faith and I just fall flat on my face? Having the fear of the Lord overcomes the fear of failure. So as I mentioned earlier every point has a lead off question. So let me ask you on point number one is the fear of the Lord overcomes the fear of anxiety. And then I asked you, have you ever felt the burden of trying to provide the burden of provision, the pressure of provision? And then point number two the fear of the Lord overcomes the fear of failure. And the question I like to ask you next have you ever noticed how you can bear the pressure of performance? For example, hey, how much money do you make? How many cars do you have? Maybe not even how many cars do you have? How many cars do you have that work? Or do you own your own home? Where are you going on vacation this year? Where do you like to shop at? Maybe you've been compared to someone else or maybe you've been comparing yourself to someone else. Maybe you set unattainable goals or maybe due to social media you constantly feel like you're not doing enough, you're not good enough, you're not cool enough. I mean, man, on Instagram they just listed 95,000 reasons why they love each other. I'm trying to come up with five. I mean, how can we have that type of relationship that they have in the movies? How can we have that type of dream life that it appears that all of the people on Instagram that I follow have? How come I don't have that life? I mean, the greatest enemy to contendment is comparison and I think it's even harder nowadays with the social media aspect thrown into it. Now let me tell you something right now. People are posting the highlight reels on social media. You don't see any women posting bad hair days, no makeup on, are you kidding me? You don't see anybody posting the ugly things of life on their Instagram unless they're doing it for one reason or another and that's an entirely different subject as well. You look at social media and you look at what's happening in other people's dream lives, how many of us really know if they're not trying to overcompensate for something? I mean, you've had five people like your post and within a minute they had 555, so you're a failure. You're not doing a good enough job. When I just say one word, stop. And where in the world is all this coming from? Why am I being judged by somebody else out there? I'm not them and they're not me. Very interesting point, Jesus said when people were concerned about other people like what about him and what about us and how does this relate to both of us? Jesus said, if I will that he remains till I come, what is that to you? You follow me, you follow me. Satan wants to steal our peace with anxiety and he wants to kill your joy with the fear of failure leading to performance pressure. I mean, have you ever wondered what is the metric for success? Is it a dollar amount? Is it an area code? What is the standard of God's blessing? Like how do I know if God's blessing me or not? Are more things more blessings? I mean, I guess that probably depends on what kind of condition they're in. But listen to what Paul says. Second Corinthians three, five, he says not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves but our sufficiency is from God. In the Greek language that word sufficiency means the ability or competency to do a thing is from God. So our ability, so my ability, your ability, our ability or our competency to do this thing called life or marriage or parenting or family or business or sport or whatever it is is from God. It doesn't come from you. You're the zero, you're the zero. Maybe you thought, well, I was gonna come for a real uplifting message tonight. Now I'm the zero. Listen to what Jesus said in John 15, five. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me and I in him bears much fruit for, ready, without me, you can do nothing, nothing. So you're the zero, but Jesus is the hero. Jesus is the hero. What it means is this, and this is the principle that I think is so mind boggling when it comes to the fear of performance. When it comes to dealing with this fear of failure based upon how am I performing? What this means is the best you or I can do in our own strength is nothing. This might be sobering for some of us because for some of us we may be successful in certain areas. For some of us we may be bearing a lot of pressure that only God's meant to bear. But let me say this very clearly and I'll say it again so that we all are on the same page. When we say that you're the zero, I'm the zero, Jesus is the hero, what we're saying is that means that the best that we can do, the best that you can do or I can do in our own strength is nothing, zilch, zero. The best that we can do and honestly it's by God's grace that we're not negative. It's by God's grace that we're not negative zero down below that line. That means this, now get this, you're ready to have your minds blown is this. Anything over zero is a supernatural work of God bringing the increase, anything. Anything in our lives that is over that zero and even there that's God's grace is a supernatural work of God bringing the increase to us because in our own strength we can do what? Nothing. And is that what the pastor said or the congregation said? No, who said it? Jesus, he's the hero. We shall no longer bear the burden of performing. Now this isn't saying that you go to your job and you do a terrible job. The pastor said I'm the zero and you're gonna get zero. No, that's called just being a bad employee and you probably get fired. So don't quote me on that. What I do hope is that this sets you free in understanding that the greatest enemy of contentment is comparison, comparing yourself to others, comparing your ideas of success to God's ideas of excess and from this day on that we would be more thankful than ever. If the best that I can do is zero, nothing then look how much God's blessed me. My view on life has just been so skewed. Looking at other people and other things in TV shows and social media and all this, look how much God has blessed us. First Corinthians 3.7, listen to what Paul says. He says, so then neither he who plants is anything nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase. You don't need to raise your hands but think about it right now. Be honest with yourself. How many of you in an area of your life, if not all of your life have seen something that's above a zero? Until you're right now, your husbands are sitting next to something that is above a zero. She's way out of your league actually. Our kids, I have a dollar. Well, that's not zero dollars. God's brought you the increase. Look at your life. How many things has God blessed us with? So we suit up, we show up, God brings the increase. You do the best that you can because the Bible says do all that you do for the glory of God. Understanding the spiritual truth that God brings the increase and that you can do nothing apart from him is something that is freeing. Success is being obedient to what God has called you to do. That's success. That's success. Because in the world we have a lot of different ideas of what success is and like I mentioned earlier that could be a signed a dollar amount or a zip code or whatever. Listen, success in God's economy is you doing what he's called you to do. That's success. God has not called you to fail. Following God's plan is never a failure. So give yourself a break. Give the Lord the pressure of performing. Enjoy what God is doing. Realize that you have an enemy who would love to have you be so paralyzed by fear and so concerned about your chances of failure that you never step out in faith and claim the land which the Lord has given you. An area in your personal life, in your marriage, with your children, in your neighborhood, at your job, with your friends. The enemy wants you so paralyzed. What if they laugh at you? What if they think you're stupid? What if they want nothing to do with you? The what ifs of this world? That's not from the Lord because the Bible tells us God's not giving you a spirit of fear but of love, of power and a sound mind. I haven't told very many people and the first year of our church, I almost quit after year one. It's the truth. And for one year straight, I got my clock clean. All these things. Fear of anxiety, that was me. We planted a church and I had no idea I was gonna take care of any of the needs because it seemed like I was the hinge pin between the church and my family. I didn't know how I was gonna take care of the church and I didn't know how I was gonna take care of my family. I was paralyzed by anxiety. I was paralyzed by the fear of failure. For those of you that don't know, for nine years I taught a study on Monday nights at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa. It was on K-Wave for nine years. It was a fantastic opportunity that Pastor Chuck gave me to be involved with that ministry. I thought that after our first year of ministry I was gonna have to go back to Costa Mesa with my tail tucked between my legs and say, you know what? I tried the church thing. We made it three months and I'm done. Fear of failure. These things I'm sharing with you are things that the Lord has personally, radically changed my life with. It's been revolutionary for me. And if it's not for you, that's okay. It still was for me and that's what really matters, right? So thirdly and finally, the fear of the Lord overcomes the fear of self-worth. Have you noticed today, and even in the church, I think with Christians as well, that there is such a pressure of purpose, purpose. Unfortunately, more often than not we will find our value, our self-worth, our purpose for life, for living and things that we do. And that's Christians. It's in the church. Our value, what makes us feel important or special or self-worth, our purpose, even as Christians found in the things that we do. I learned really early on in life. I was a basketball player in high school and in college. It was funny, on Saturday was my 20-year high school reunion. I wasn't able to make it, but I saw a bunch of things posted on social media and I thought, man, that's so weird. I remember my parents' 20-year reunion. And I thought, man, they're so old. They're so old. And now it was my 20-year reunion and they posted a bunch of things from the high school basketball days. We were number one in Orange County at Ocean View High School, our senior year, one CIF. We played at the pond. I think it's what it's called the Honda Center now. And for those of you that don't know what I'm doing because you're too young, this is called talking about the glory days. It's like I could throw a football over those mountains back in the day or whatever. But I remember, after I received a scholarship, I played in college and the moment you're in a shooting slump, the same people that cheered for you were booing you. I mean, loyalty in those days was scarce. I mean, probably not as bad as it is now with Lebron going to the Lakers, but that's something else entirely. But my value and my self-worth was found in the sole purpose of putting a ball through a hoop. Not a high percentage might I add, but when I was done putting the ball through the hoop, I thought, well, what do I do that makes me good or what do I have in my life that I can attribute value to myself? You know, what do I have to be good at? You know, what makes people like me now or what makes me important? See, that might be a high schooler's dilemma but that carries on through life. See, the fear of self-worth is a terrible fear because it's completely contingent upon what you do or do not do, which often is directly related to things that are completely outside of your control. Like you were not in the position to choose to have certain skill sets when you were born and you weren't in control of having maybe an accident or a health issue or something that removed that skill set. You know, so when your business is booming, then you're valuable. You know, when your income is shrinking and small, then you're not valuable. If your kids think that you're an amazing dad, then, you know, man, you're awesome when they don't, we're devastated. You know, if my wife thinks I'm Superman, you know, it's like, look out. If I feel like that she can't stand me, I'm nothing. When people say nice things about me, man, top off that self-esteem. When you hear somebody say negative things about you or even to your face say negative things to you. You know, when you hear them tell other people how much they can't stand you after you thought you were friends, it's kind of like, ouch, and I get tear, I'm sad. If you're young and no one thinks you're important or when you're old and everyone thinks that you're washed up, I mean, do you see where this goes? Do you see where this goes? But listen to me. Having the fear of the Lord smashes the fear of self-worth because you truly understand that your identity and your value is in Christ alone. And it's not about what you do, it's about rather what Jesus has done. So your value is not found in how great of a leader you are, how great of a father you are, how great of a mother, how great of a husband, how great of a wife or how great of a person. Your value, your worth, is found actually in the person of Jesus. And maybe you'd say tonight, well, you know what? I just don't even feel like I have a purpose. Well, might I just say quite frankly, it's not about your purpose, it's about God's purpose. In Job 42, verse two, Job said to the Lord, I know that you can do everything and that no purpose of yours can be withheld from you. That's the purpose that I wanna link myself to. Now what's my purpose? No, Lord, what's your purpose for my life? I want my life, my value, my purpose attached to God's purpose, whatever it may look like. The best I'm doing, zero. And that's on a good day. Everything else, even good things, apart from finding your self-worth in Jesus can be taken away, everything. How many athletes have gotten injured? How many wealthy people have gone broke? How many good-looking people have had car accident? I mean, you just, you can't even, you can't even hold on to the things that you've been given. You're not gonna be able to control them. They're outside of your control. And if things that are outside of your control are the things you're looking to for value and self-worth, where does that leave you all over the place? It leaves you vulnerable to the enemy, to destroy you. At the end of that year that I referenced earlier where I dealt with severe anxiety and the fear of failure the last four months, straight, woke up with it, went to bed with it, was a complete demoralization. Man, I just felt awful. I believe that I was the worst of everything that I thought that I was good in. I mean, modern day vernacular would be it's anything you felt you had swag about, it was like it was gone. Poof, it didn't exist. See, if your self-worth is attached to something that can be taken away, then it's attached to the wrong thing. See, your value is in the fact that you understand and know the Lord. Your value was shown when Jesus laid down his life for you, he died for you. Listen to what Jeremiah the prophet says in chapter nine, verses 23 and 24. Thus says the Lord, let not the wise man glory in his wisdom. Let not the mighty man glory in his might. Let not the rich man glory in his riches. But let him who glories glory in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord exercising loving kindness, judgment and righteousness in the earth, for in these I delight says the Lord. Isn't that amazing that in the Old Testament, it will talk about three things that man glories in, wisdom. Isn't that interesting? Wisdom, what degrees do you have? Might, kind of strength do you have? Power and riches. The three things that set a person apart from other people. Intellectual prowess, physical giftings, deep pockets, whatever it might be. The Lord says, don't glory in your might, don't glory in your riches, don't glory in your power. If you want to glory in something, then glory in the fact that you understand and know me, that I am the Lord, that I exercise loving kindness and righteousness and judgment on the earth, for in these things I delight says the Lord. So the fear of the Lord overcomes the fear of anxiety and the pressure of provision. The fear of the Lord overcomes the fear of failure and the pressure of performance. And the fear of the Lord overcomes the fear of self-worth and the pressure of purpose. And so I have to ask for our fourth and final question is which fear are you going to choose? Because no doubt in the audience this size, there are some of you that are battling with anxiety, with fear of failure and with self-worth. Some of you are burdened with the pressure of providing or performing or finding your purpose. So which fear are you going to choose? The fear that comes over you or the fear that overcomes? That's the main question. And again in Acts 931, the churches throughout all Judea, Galilee and Samaria, maybe what do you even say in Chino Valley? Had peace and were edified. And the members of Calvary Chapel of the Chino Valley were walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit and they were multiplied. That's what we want, that's what we need. May we take that scripture and apply it on the personal level. So not just our church, but I'll put my name in there because that was speaking to me. That it said, Garrod's reverence and respect of the Lord's word and the Lord's will carried over into every area of his life. Insert your name there. So may it be said of us, all of us, that our reverence and our respect of the Lord's word, what does God's word say? Because it's being attacked. Don't believe the Bible. Don't look to what it has to say. So you need to purpose in your heart, I'm going to have a reverence and respect for the Lord's word and the Lord's will above the world's word and my will. And may that carry over into every area of our lives because the fear of the Lord gives us the victory. Who wants victory? Yes, sign me up for that. We've been given a few things that hopefully by the power of the Holy Spirit will work itself out in your life because I know it has in mind. And I can see when those things that the enemy has attacked me in over the years, they come back around and now I recognize them. The things in my life which were really like I got blindsided, like someone cold cocked me from the side, I didn't even see it coming. I was knocked out. I can now see when the enemy is coming around to try to get me to fall into a particular area where I'm not allowing having the fear of the Lord to overcome the fear that is in this world. The Lord will help you. He will strengthen you. If you're in sin, you need to confess it and you need to get it out of your life, not phase it out, you need to root it out because that's gonna hold you back from the work that the Lord wants to do in your life. It's going to make you powerless. You can have all the tools and you can have the power at your disposal but if you are in sin, then you are cutting yourself off and so you need to repent and turn from that sin. Because every teaching from God's Word that we see, the truth of the Scriptures working and the Holy Spirit touching the lives of those that are hearing it is based upon this fact that I have faith in Jesus, the Holy Spirit is empowering me and I must repent and turn from my sin because I cannot be in sin and be empowered by the Holy Spirit at the same time. I have to choose. And so if you have sin in your life or maybe you're here tonight and you've been to church a ton but you're not walking with the Lord. Confess it to the Lord. Be forgiven of your sin. Be filled afresh with the Holy Spirit and start living your life the way that God's called you to live and not the way the world wants you to live and we've spent enough of our past life living after the lust of the flesh and the things that this world has to offer and it always leaves us looking for something more. So we're sick and tired of being sick and tired so we're not going down that path again. What we need is found in God's Word. And so tonight I'm just gonna very simply because we're gonna pray in just a moment. If you're in a place where you've walked away from the Lord where you've never put your faith in Him. I'm gonna give you a chance to give your life to Christ to be forgiven of your sin. I'm also gonna give you a chance to recommit your life to Jesus tonight. And for you Christians, maybe you're here battling with one of these things and just because you're following the Lord doesn't mean that the enemy's gonna stop attacking you like quite frankly because you're following the Lord he's going to attack you. And don't say well I'm just not gonna follow the Lord. No because then you're even in a worse place because Satan has you outside the center of God's perfect will and has you in sin where he can completely destroy you. At least you know that if you're in the center of God's will and the attacks are coming that you're safe. If you're bringing it upon yourself through disobedience you have no confidence there. So let's do business with the Lord tonight. He does care for you. You can cast your cares upon Him. And that's why we're here as the church to pray for one another and to encourage one another. The time's short. Stuff that's happening in this world is grieving God. It is grieving him. It grieves us how much more so perfect holy righteous God who created man in his own image has seen the type of perversions that are taking place in this world. It was probably me I'd just be like lightning bolt right now. But you know what the Bible says? He's not slack concerning his promises as some would count slackness. But he's patient. He's long suffering. He's not willing that any would perish but that all would come to repentance. He's patient. See, I don't like when God's patient with other people. For me it's cool but for other people no. But aren't you glad tonight God has been patient with you? That's a humbling thing to ask yourself if you're honest with yourself. Aren't you glad that God has been patient with you? I kind of want to cower back and be like thank you Jesus thank you that you're patient with me.